Page 7 - Episode 336: Snub City

Episode Date: January 16, 2020

Boy oh boy it's an angry episode as we goss about Oscar snubs, the "Saved by the Bell" reboot and Goop's vagina scented candle.    Listen to Page 7 free on Spotify!     Can't get enough Page 7? Support us on our Patreon page and get weekly bonus Patreon-exclusive content!   Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey guys, it's Jackie from page seven. I'm here to let y'all know that you can listen to page seven for free on Spotify. You can download all the episodes with a free account. And guess it would? All last podcast network episodes are already over there. Swanj, J-Mosey on your butts down to the Spotify app. And listen to page seven for free on Spotify to get new episodes as soon as they come out. Because I want to get them hot out of the oven so I can earn my...

I'm out. All right, guys, you have to bear with me. I just wrote these lyrics while having a conversation with Holden and Molly. It seems to me the smell of your crotch is like a musty, smelly candle. Go ahead and light the flame girl, pussy with burnt hair. I would not have liked to smell it,

but I just paid $75. Your candle smells like your candle. vagina and I wish I didn't know that. Thank you. You're welcome. You can call me Elton Jackie. And my name is Elton Jackie and welcome to page seven. I just wrote those lyrics.

And this is gonna be a slushy episode. Molly and I just cracked open a couple. We've got Jackie drinking fireball in the LA studio. I am drinking fireball out of the bottle. You know there are just sometimes. I'm not, all three of us, we did not drive here. We are not driving home. And every once in a while.

It's one beer, all right. I'm sorry, Molly, but it's one beer. I think people are going to be cool with that. My name is Molly Nethel and I have one beer. And I can't wait. I just opened it. I'm looking forward to solution through this 12-ounce beer. It's going to be fantastic.

She's a good mother. All right? You're in the clear. I mean, you're beyond in the clear. Yeah, I can do. Everyone's talking about their dry January and I'm like, ha, ha, I was dry for nine months. You've been dry for like two years.

I have been dry for like two years. I'm also having, I am having a cheat beer because out of solidarity with these two. So bear with me. I'm not going to keep drinking. And I also had a cheat tour week. So there's also that. But after that, I'm going back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I swear, I mean, yes, I said that I was trying to eat better. And yes, I may have consumed 11 hot dogs within a five days stretch. However, now, restores. Start button, guys. What is January, if not a reset button? It is a reset button. And I know this is not a video game or gamer podcast. Whoa.

Holden, I got RingFit Adventure. How great is it? I love it. Isn't it amazing? This is the first time, honestly, that I've worked out three times in a row in a million years. I'm totally going home after this and I'm going to play it as well. How fun is that muscular, sexy bodybuilding dragon that you have to fight?

and like the running feels good. And I don't know what else to say. I think it really could get, I mean, for a person like me, I was already having a pretty successful workout routine, but this actually made me excited to work out. I hate working out. I've never had a successful workout routine ever in my entire life.

I think there was one like five week stretch where I went to the gym three times a week when I was in my 2010. And since then, I hate it. It makes me feel bad about myself. Like the fact that I can't keep doing it, but I just have never successfully been able to do it. do it and granted it's only been three times sure but it has been three times that I have worked

out and look forward to working out and I feel so psyched about it is three more times than you would have done it before so you know what I'm fucking proud of you right you and also like I am we should also say post workout I'm sweating buckets this is not like a lazy workout that's not why we're excited about it I am like rocked when I'm done yeah I will say I was very I thought it was very fun because holding brought the ring fit workout to the tour. How many times did you work out? None.

I, okay. Look, I have an excuse. I am proud of you for thinking that you could have, though. You know, that is good forward thinking. I didn't bring it actually because I had to bring t-shirts in my luggage. The excuse I'm going with, I had to sell merch, people. I had to sell merch. I mean, if people, I feel like there is a thing of bringing your video games with you when you travel.

You're like, Gideon always brings a video game system with us when we go on vacation. And I'm always like, really? But to bring a workout system with you while you travel is very ambitious. And you did both. There's no reason to lie to yourself. And honestly, if you're going to stick with it, I say mazzle. But so I tried to do, I try to do these crunches. I do these hundred crunches.

I try to do at least five or six days a week. Complete nightmare. And I did three crunches on one of the days on tour. And I just went, nah. And I got back into bed and went back to six days. It's okay to give up sometimes. Every once in a while, it's okay to choose. Because you take your power back and be like, I am choosing.

It's not that I am allowing the workout to get the best of me. I am choosing to not do it today. Yeah. And sometimes you've got to do it for your mental health, and that's okay. That's very true. Cheat week. But I've been on like a cheat, you know, five to six years. Millennium, yeah.

I will say we should describe this a little bit. This is a video game for the Nintendo Switch that comes with its own. I was told it was a Pilates ring. But I don't know. It's like this ring that you push down, you push on and you pull on and it just works your muscles really well. And then a strap that you put the other little remote on and it can see like, and it's really accurate as to how you're squatting, you're running in place, you're doing all this stuff. And it knows. And what's amazing, one of my favorite things I noticed recently is it actually rewards you for having better posture.

It can like tell when you're doing the workout a little wrong. And I noticed and I corrected myself. and my attack got more points. Yeah, I noticed that yesterday too. It's like, fuck, I got to do this correctly. Right? It's like, yeah, so it has like, you squeeze this ring and you pull it out and then you do your squats and all of your attacks.

All your exercises are attacks on different. Yeah, they're fighting monsters. And I can't, I can't emphasize enough how little of a game, of a video game person I am. I love the Nintendo Switch because I like Nintendo games. I love just dance. But I'm like a party games person. I like Mario Party, but I don't like role playing games. And Gideon is like, look at you.

getting really into this like adventure game. Because you level up, you get stronger attacks up. And I was about to ask this too though, Gideon is a gamer. He is. And has he tried it? He hasn't yet, but I think that he's, he watches me play it and he's like,

that looks pretty fun. Right? Yeah. Are any of them like peace, like is it like, instead of, you know, hitting the monster? Like, is it like love making with the monster? Because I'd love to like have sex with the monster. Okay, there's no sexual monster games,

but you bring up a really good point. Simulated sex in video games has gotten really good. with VR, and I think that if you introduced a workout regimen while you're having sex with these anime girls, we'd see a lot of improvements, I think, with a certain... I wonder how many humps for a minute you can do. How many homes do you think you can do per minute? Like, just dance, but with just having sex, you put one of those fleshlights on you or whatever. So you're actually having the sex or whatever.

I didn't think that I was an easily scandalized person, but I am extremely scandalized by the idea of just dance, but for sex. It's really disturbing me. But, no, you can't have sex with the monsters, but you definitely don't necessarily have to fight. There are mini games you can play that are workouts. There are also just, I think you can just straight up do workouts without doing that adventure mode. We're talking about the adventure mode. You can also just create your own customized.

And what's amazing, too, it's got yoga, it's got Pilates exercises, it's got cardio, it's got all of these things. Strength training. I mean, what I like about it, and for anybody who, like, me, the minute you start working out, you're just like, I hate this, and all I'm thinking, about is when I can stop. What's really nice about RingFit Adventure is that you're not, you don't know what's going to happen next and it's different every time.

Yes. And so you're not thinking like 44 minutes to go. Right. 43 minutes to go, which is what I am doing when I'm exercising otherwise. And so this, you're just like, I don't even know how much longer I have left. It's usually, I've only been doing like 20 minutes, not that long, but you can make it longer or shorter. But like, I don't know how much longer I've left, but like, and I don't know what's going to

happen next, but I just need to like fight. this fucking dragon and then see what happens. But it's not, so you're not just, like, obsessing about how much you hate it and when it'll be over. And there's so many little carrots for you to feel good. Like, at the end of each level, you do this victory pose, and they just make you feel so good. You squat down and, like, load up this thing,

and then you push up and raise your arms up, and it's like, you did it! And, like, the ring itself in the video game talks to you, and it's like, you're doing amazing. Keep going. This is awesome. It is very feel good. It's like, and if you're not doing it right,

it doesn't yell at you. No. It's not like Julian Michaels, who we could also talk about. Sure. I don't even know. Oh, yeah. It's the opposite of Julian Michaels. They're like, you're doing great.

Try lower your knees a little bit. Right. It's wonderful. I've never understood. I can't be screamed at while doing any of this stuff. Like I've gone to those kind of classes. I need encouragement. Yeah.

The second someone tells me that it's like, in your face and scream about how you got it's like, don't yell. I don't want that. I balk. Don't yell at me. We're anti-authority type. Obviously, we chose this line of work, I think, for good reason in that sense. And it definitely is, it's that. It's also like, hey.

I feel like I'm in Sister Act 2 every day. It's constantly, too, just like, hey, go get some water. You earned, relax a little bit. You down with GOD, yeah, you know me. Don't overdo it. They're just like, it doesn't matter how long you work out. It's the fact that you're doing it every day. We're just so happy with you.

You know what I mean? It just makes you feel so loved. And I love Just Dance is my favorite. video game and I was like maybe I'll just try to do like a just dance you know just dance my way to fitness. I know people who've lost tons of weight doing just dance which is awesome but what I like about ring first of all just dance is so much fun with friends yeah not quite as much fun alone not as good at lunch it's it is fun but it's a very different thing than when you're with friends and with ring fit it's like I just know I'm actually doing muscle shit like just dance is cardio and

it's good it can be good cardio but yeah it feels good to be working different parts of your body. Exactly. And doing exercises I didn't even know existed. Yeah, I'm doing my lats and my triceps. And it's like, that ring, man,

that ring too. Because I had Carly over, she loves playing video games and our friend. And I had her doing some of those exercises and you just immediately start feeling it. It is not, again, sweating buckets at the end.

Even if I do like 20 minutes, I am fucking fried. Yeah. But you can also, if you're having a tough day, you can lower that. intensity and they're super connected to that. They're like, hey, how are we feeling? You know what I mean?

Anyways, I can't record. What an infomercial for ring fit. I know, but I feel like as I know that we have, whenever I talk about like pregnancy and parenthood stuff, I always hear from a lot of awesome people who are also in the like either raising very young children or pregnant or whatever. And I feel like pregnancy has made me feel so alienated from my body. Like I never do anything fun with my body anymore. It just, it just feels like my body has been through like a lot of shit.

It's been through hell and is not yet back. Convinced Jackie some more to have a child because they're looking at her face right now. I know. I am thankfully still in the spot where it's like every other hour. It's like, I want a baby and then I'll never have a baby. I want a baby. No, no, I ever want one. So today I'm actually on more of this side of it.

So you're right. It's a factory and it makes you feel like you're overworked dough, right? I mean, the things that the factory made are brilliant. They're great. They are great. Oh my God, there's smiles. But my body feels like I, like, I realize this. I can't remember if I said it on the show before. It was stopped me if I did, but I was on my large adult scooter the other day because I got gifted a adult scooter. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, like a razor scooter?

Like a razor scooter. But for adults, it's my adult scooter. It is so much fun when I was a nanny for such a long time that my favorite was when the kids, like, took their razor scooters to school, and we would raise their scooter all the way back to their house. And it is so much your one because you're like, gang way, get on a fucking scooter, you pieces of shit. And you're just screaming at people. And we would boo at them and be like, so slow.

And we would yell at them as we would go because we were nightmares. But please continue. I defy anyone to ride a fucking scooter and not be like, yippee. At first you're like, oh, I look like a shithead. Everybody's laughing at me. I'm in Brooklyn.

and everybody thinks I'm a piece of shit. And then you're just like, yehah! There is no way to do it and not have fun. But I was gifted one when I was pregnant with Freddie and I didn't ever use it because I was like, I'm pregnant. I shouldn't be on a scooter right now. But then recently I had to go somewhere

that was like a 15 minute walk away and I was like, I'm not pregnant and I've got a scooter. And I don't have a lot of time. I'm going to ride this scooter and I had a great time. And I realized that I had not had fun like with, like I had not felt like I was doing something fun with my body in so long. And I was like, I got a scooter more often, like a tool. I don't care. People go to see me and be like, oh, look at this bitch on her scooter. And now

doing Ringfit Adventure, I feel like I'm actually doing something fun with my body. There are times. That's amazing. And it's not against you. You're also not self-destructing. Right. And it's hard, I feel like, as people, that we're now all in our mid-30s and we were all comedians in New York and our 20s and all we did was be self-destructive for a really long time and I now struggle with what do I do if I'm not going out to sit at a bar for six hours every night I really it's like it's learning how to have fun again so I am cross-stitching again it's why I'm cooking again it's like I'm doing all these different things because like how do you have fun and not hurt yourself right a hundred percent of course there are the nights a thousand percent but you know it's

I don't know it's it is an interesting thing that I think feel like people don't talk about enough in their 30. Sure. Especially for, I mean, I will say there's a little bit of a difference between us who went to New York to be comedians or whatever it was. But I think a lot of people who flocked to New York are looking a little bit more for that kind of lifestyle. So it's a little more particular to our situation, I think.

But yeah, for sure. It's very difficult to unplug. Or what's even more depressing me is the weekend warrior thing, where you are good all week. And then you blow your entire weekend on just a blackout drunk state. And then Sunday sucks because you're just hung over as fuck the whole time. So like that is, I guess, the case too for a lot of people out there who are responsible for their nine to fives and then let loose on the weekend. And then trying to learn how to like, how do I? But I'll tell you what.

The balance. Dry January for me has been awesome with that. Like I'm just, I'm reading so much more. I don't have to rewatch television episodes because I was black out when I watched them, which is become an issue for me. So, yeah, I'm really enjoying, I'm like, hell yeah, I'm just going to like, we did cocktails last night, which is my stream. where we drink and I was sober at the end of it and I was like, I'm gonna watch some 90 day and like kickback.

You have more time. It's crazy. And sleep so well, the sleep is the biggest thing. And see, that was the thing about, I was sober for, you know,

two different nine month segments very recently in the last one and a half years, but, uh, or two years, I guess, but like the whole, when you're,

when you're pregnant, for me at least, you sleep like shit and you're nauseous all the time anyway. So I was like, oh, well, you know, I'm going to be not drinking for nine months.

I'll feel fantastic. I'm going to be well hydrated. That part is true. Like I was the best, most hydrated I've ever been. But, like, I was like, I'm going to sleep so well, and I am never going to be, like, nauseous or have a headache. I was nauseous, had a headache, like, all pregnancy. Although, I bet your skin looked great, right?

Maybe. You were glowing. I wanted to, like, Hannibal Lecter you. You know what I mean? Yeah, just what, like, fava beans, right? Or Buffalo bill you, you know what I mean? I wanted to tuck my penis. behind my legs and wear your skin and dance around.

No, at least Molly is too small. I used to get really skin whenever I watched Islands and the Lambs because you would always choose women that were size 14 because there was more skin on their backs. And at the time I was a size 14, I would get so upset. I'm like, I'm going to be next. Someone's going to skin me because I got more skin. I mean, take it as a compliment.

Yeah, I mean, my skin is very soft and I would definitely use my skin as a purse. But you know what I definitely wouldn't do is use the scent of my vagina and put it into a candle. Wow, Jackie, that was the best segue you've ever done. That was really good.

Thank you. I've been working on it. Artful. Artful. Talk about, first of all, a headline I read and was like, that's clearly got to be some social media joke and not actually true, A, and B, no matter what, I know what I'm talking about in five days.

This is the thing with page seven. I feel like Holden has been acclimated to the Gwyneth Paltrow. It seems like it's a joke, but it's never a joke. It's never a joke. It's never a joke. That looks like an onion. That looked like an actually ripped from the onion. Yeah. So if you guys have not seen it, which I'm assuming that you have. Gwyneth Paltrow, which of course we call Goop, she has put out a $75 candle and the candle is named, this smells like my vagina. So the candle originally

was made by artisanal fragrance brand heretic and it, quote, started as a joke between perfumer Douglas Little and Paltrow while they were collaborating on a fragrance together. The two were testing since when the, which it says when the politicians star, just shut up, just call her goop, blurted out, oh, this smells like my vagina. And

laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh. And now we have $75 fucking candles called This Smells Like My Vagina that apparently is a blend of geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar and also juxtaposed with Damasco rose and a brett

seed. What does your fucking vagina smell like? Mine doesn't smell like that. I am so furious about Gwyneth Paltrow because I feel like she's doing this like cosplay of like destigmatizing vaginas. Like I feel like it is a thing in our society where like we're terrified to say the word vagina. We're like very, it's like a general collective discomfort we all have that is like very toxic. It like leads to like kids not knowing how to like ask for help if they feel sick or if There's like there's like a bad, bad thing about the way that we all are collectively uncomfortable about vaginas. And I think that we all have to like, I think that like our generation as we raise kids is like we are like naming body parts for our children and we're like talking about them and like we're telling them it's okay to touch yourself and stuff like that. But to what if Paltrow is doing is not destigmatizing shit.

It's like it's like this like cheeky. It's actually weirdly stigmatizing. It's making it more of a joke and more upsetting and pushing people. further away where it's like, well, that's interesting. Yes, right. It's making, it's like capitalizing on people's discomfort. And rather than being like, oh, we are all like kind of learning how to like talk about this better than generations before, which was to say, never talk about it.

It's just being like, wouldn't it be so fucking weird if I just said the word vagina? Or salt a candle that's vagina center or steamed. Oh my God, I'm so, carolina. I just put shit in it. Like, it's so, I feel like it is so damaging because then people see it and they're like, stop talking about your vagina already. And it's like, no, no, no, no. We should be talking about bodies more.

But we shouldn't be doing this weird shit, you know? Totally. It's kind of like you bring up a good point because now that I think about it, I feel like growing up, all I ever heard was like, you'll never find the clit. You'll never find the clitoris and you'll never find the G spot. You know, it was like starting off with that attitude. There's no, why have negativity?

Because I get, I do appreciate the fact that she's trying to bring more positivity towards it. But I think that making your vagina just a joke, and like a gross joke is not helping the situation. Because you're right, Holden, that's a negative way to view having sex with a woman or with whomever has a vagina where it's like, you're not going to do it right. It's a mystery. Yeah, exactly. No, partners have definitely are very effectively utilizing my vagina in many different ways

because we communicate. Yeah, you'll find it. I'll show you. Yes. That's what it is. And that was usually the running joke back then. I'm not saying she's necessarily doing that now. But yeah, when I hear that she's like steaming her fucking shit and, and, you know, stuff like that, and I'm just, by shit, I mean vagina. Sorry, to compare her vagina to a log of shit.

How dare you? But now she's steaming her pussy and stuff, you know what I mean? It's very upsetting. Yeah. You know, because you're just like, oh, that's what women have to do now. And, like, that seems like you steam a carpet. It's like her relationship to vaginas is that of, like, mine when I was, like, 14 and very uncomfortable about it. Uh-huh.

And she's like a little bit outspoken about it because she's like, that's her brand. But there's nothing like, it's not even like vaguely as like, it's not even like corporately body positive or anything. It's just nothing. It's just about Guinectro being fucking goop. It's more that like I have the perfect vagina. Yeah. Which in a way says that, yeah, right? Which says like, oh, you have to look like that and you can only imagine what hers looks like because of the self-care obsession.

that she has, you know what I mean? But it's got to be like a little mouse is what I would think it would look like. When I am currently eating out a vagina, I love to smell my partner's vagina. I don't want to smell so. Which I guess, not to be like this, but it's like I also, Holden,

don't want to smell your junk. Yeah. I don't, like, if I smell your junk from where I am standing and like, Holden, go take a shower. Yeah, it's, by the way, it is beef jerky with a little bit of grape jam on there. You know what you just smell like fucking clean body?

Clean soap and stuff. You know what I mean? Yeah, I wash my parts. Yeah. But there's a lot of anxiety. Like people with vaginas have so much anxiety about how they look, how they smell, how they, like so much anxiety. And I feel like Winif Paltrow is not helping. You know what?

I would have respected if that candle was actually, like if my, if I made a candle that is, this is actually. actually what my pussy smells like. It's like three days, no shower. This is what it smells like. Yes. And I respect that. Show the reality of what a pussy smells like after it's been fucked, after you haven't washed for days, after he's been sitting on an airplane for 18 hours.

That is a science of like, see, it's not that bad. Molly counterpoint. Even at it's worse. No, I completely agree. I love the smell of vaginas. So there's a difference. It is, but I can't. But that would be the joke about, ew, the candle smells so bad.

But that's the thing. I mean, I started identifying as a feminist when I was 18 years old. It was probably not until I was like 23, 24, 25 that I started really unpacking how much internalized, like, fear I had about everything around that. Sure. Because it's like, how many times do you hear men have the butt of the joke be like, oh, the nothing? When I was a kid, I was so confused. Is a vagina gross or is it irresistible? I don't know.

The immense. You know, because it's both. Like when you're a kid, it's like every guy who you've ever met wants to fuck you. I think I've said this on the show before. Every guy who you've, when I was a teenager, there's no such thing as a platonic male friend. Every guy you've ever met wants to fuck you. But also, you're disgusting. And if you don't look a certain way, and if you don't do a certain thing with your body, you're disgusting.

And that was like how I was confused about just being like, you know, a girl or a woman in general. But with vagina specifically, it's like they're repulsive, but also they're irresistible. and they're magic and they make people not even be able to think straight so much that they do horrible things like but also everybody hates them I was so confused you know it took me forever to unpack that

that is a very tough one still the amount of women I have been with that have incredible complexes about their vaginas I think a lot of that too was and it still is this way in a lot of ways but especially back then with Playboy and even most porn back then every vagina you would see as a guy was like this pert

little thing you know mean? That was always completely shaved, all wax, like everything was clear. Like, I used to be so ashamed of like, I'm Italian. I'm a hairy woman. I, I'm, I landscape for sure. But I've never done the full waxing because I remember I had a friend of mine that had that got the full Brazilian done and they hadn't pulled it off properly. And she showed me and she had a blood blister, the size of her labia right next to the entrance of her vagina. And she was a dancer and she couldn't walk for two weeks. And then she had to go to a doctor to get it.

Let. And that is what has always, and I know that she probably just went to the wrong person. I'm aware that not all people go through that experience, but that is what has always stopped me from getting the full Brazilian. And yet we are told that that is what all partners want. I feel like that norm has changed lately. It's not like that much hairier, but it used to be creepily, completely cleanly shaving and most porn and most stuff like that, which I'm glad that norm has changed because

honestly, that gives me like fucking pedophile vibes. You know what I mean? It's weird. It grosses me out. To want to look at a completely non-pubescent genitalia. Unless you prefer it. If you prefer it that way, fucking have that, dude. I'm more power to you. You never do that shit for somebody else. Yeah. However, however people want to do it, but it's, yeah, I think that it's, right, it's like the whatever kind of, uh, images you would see, right, were so, like, cultivated. And it was just so, and I feel like every time, like, I feel like Gwyneth Paltrow is probably like in the top three people talking about vaginas right now.

And I feel like she's doing a lot of harm, you know? Like, like, I feel like. But that's why I'm so, I was having this conversation with God Daddy about it where it's like, I'm just so in the middle because I do like, really do a lot of what Goop does. I don't enjoy. I think that it's kind of weird that she's coming out with this whole cruise line,

like an in-goop health, wellness summit cruise line. I think that's kind of weird. I think, you know, things like the Jade Egg thing, which is very upsetting. Apparently she also allows bees to sting her on purpose

to get glowing skin. I think a woman died because of that, by the way. I'd have to go look that up, but I'm pretty sure a woman died trying to follow her lead on that. So it's things like that

that I do not, I personally do not respect. But then there's things like the fact that she's trying to destigmatize anal sex. She's trying to destigmatize using toys in the bedroom. She's trying to destigmatize BDSM for people that have always been scared of it. And I get, so it's like, I'm torn because it makes you think of like goop someone. Goop someone. Because I appreciate like what she's doing just not in the way that she's doing it. I did think, have this thought though. I do and I do feel like, like Kanye's team would win,

but I do want to see Kanye's church go up against the Goopites. In Goophe. In some sort of like field battle. The thing is I think we should be more scared of Goop because they have, like she and her followers on the whole have more money. And I think that's what we need to be scared of. Yeah. That's the thing.

I do feel like to the extent that she is trying to desigmatize those certain things, it is cool. And like it's good to de-stigit-of-of-course good to de-stigmatize like a lot of different things about sex that are still stigmatized, but she's doing it in such a, like, extremely wealthy, skinny white woman way, you know?

Like, my body is so unobjectionable that I will be the pioneer for this thing. I'm the guinea pig, because I'm like citizen zero of perfection in terms of... Exactly. That's what it is. Yeah. For sure. Also, I would like to see,

and I know the way there's no way I would get the numbers on this, I would fucking love to see the percentage because I know the candle's sold out and everyone's like God, our followers are the word that's already sold out. I would love to see the percentage of people who bought it as a joke versus the percentage of people

who actually legitimately thought this was like a good purchase because they followed Goop and really believe it. But what does it matter? They still sold. I know, but I'm just curious. It's an expensive joke. Yeah, so many people, because I know so many people are going to watch that Goop show on Netflix because it's a joke, but it really has harmful stuff in it. I'm very

upset about the, especially about the wackos they have coming on talking about how they can talk to your dead ones in the after life. That is, I think I've already talked about this. I do just feel that that is the most despicable praying on grief. Those are, to me, some of the worst people out there. And, you know, whatever you want to feel about that stuff. Like, I'm all about a lot of, like, spiritual kind of stuff like that. And, you know, tarot and things like that is, you know, but I draw the line at, like, I can talk to your dead mother for you and then just manipulating you into giving thousands of dollars.

And I've definitely met multiple people that truly believe that they have the gift to do that. And I believe them. It's because they don't monetize it. It's the kind of thing. That's when, you know. They put books out. And that's when it gets really fucking gross to me. You know what it's a big auditorium of people, you know, it's, yeah.

Like that show, what was it called with that guy whose name is John Edwards, but not the politician? It was like something with John Edwards. And he was just like the most, he was the most like, he was the most like, he. He would just like look you in the eye and hold your hand and be like, tell me about it. And I'm like, man, you're just. And use these manipulation tricks. Crossing over. Crossing over.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. I used to watch that show whenever it was on. But he's like, right. I was like, okay, what the people you're talking to need is like a grief counselor. You're connected with them because you're like looking them in the eye and holding their hand and being like, you must be in a lot of pain right now. Totally what people need. And then to be like, oh, oh, oh, was their favorite color blue?

And they're like, yes. It's like, yeah, it's monstrous. I just cannot stand. You know. I mean, it's also the same to I watch Long Island Medium for a very long time. And she was debunked as fake. And you know what? I will say, still going on tours, still has television shows, still doing that kind of thing.

Because I do appreciate the fact that these are people trying to bring peace to other people. But again, I've met multiple people, especially in my mom's group of friends that can do those things, that do for the people they know and love to bring them peace. And then the second you're paid $3,000 to come into a room to do it, I think is a little bit different. And it's strangers and you're walking up to them, you know, and you're making a big show out of it. You're making a big theater out of it. That is definitely, that's where the line is drawn for me.

This is giving me super flashbacks to early, early, early, page seven days when I was really into the show Medium featuring Patricia Arcade. Oh my God, I love me. She played a regular old mom who... This is fictional? It was a primetime, like, network drama where... It was hard for a long time. It was hard for a long time.

And she would... The premise was that she would have dreams. And then she would tell the police about her dreams. And it would be like, oh, Patricia Arquette. We will follow those things, which obviously would they would never do in real life, unfortunately. Yeah, they were like, oh, we got to get Patricia Arquette on the... And she was always in these, like, incredibly frumpy mom pajamas, like the entire... like 75% of the show was her like waking up in bed next to her hot husband

and her like incredibly frumpy mom pajamas. I loved it every time they kissed, man. I was just like, ooh, yeah, have another sweaty, scary dream. And she would wake up and be like, and the husband would always be like, what's wrong? And I always wanted to be like, what do you think is wrong? She had a fucking psychic dream. That's what she did. Every night.

This happens every night. See, and that's why we have to take that same scorn. And now we have to place it towards the. Oscar nominations that were put out this week. Angry, paid seven. I'm sorry, it's angry. We had such a great tour weekend. We did such a good time.

I do want to say again, thank you to everybody that came out this weekend because I had a blast all weekend. I shivered my butts off, but my butts are still here. And then Gwyneth had a fucking waft her pussy smell in our noses and ruined everything. Thank us all, man. And I missed everybody, and I hope that everybody had such nice hugs and photos with Jackie and Holden and Natalie and it was super fun. Thank you for holding it down without me.

Yeah, shoutouts again to everybody who came out to Chicago, Pontiac, and Milwaukee. Shoutouts to the cheese curds in Milwaukee. That was amazing. I also do want to bring up the fact that in Chicago Holden and Jake, Jake from Wizard and the Brewers, Holden and Jake

were in a room together in Chicago that they had bunk beds. And I just, I laughed and I laughed and I laughed. No, the worst one was the clearly honeymoon fuck suite that we ended up in in Milwaukee. It had a open air, like, shower whirlpool next to the bed. I mean, Jeff and I were naked the entire time we were in our room. Luckily, the toilet was in a closet, but everything else, like, Jake had to leave for me to get a shower.

I was like, I was like, congratulations, Jake, you booked us a fuck room. And it was a queen bed. We got a cot up there. That was good. But, yeah, but man, the pub at that place. What was the name of that? Shout us to that place. What was the fucking name of that place?

I don't know. It was like an Irish. It was awesome. It was great. It was great. It was like County Claire. County Claire. The County Claire in Milwaukee.

Get that big bloody Mary free brunch for your stay. Like, unbelievable. It was insane. This place was not that expensive. And it was so if you were ever in Milwaukee, go to the County Claire. They were insane. But I'm sorry. Back to screaming about the Oscar nominations.

Because we. We've got some things to say, guys. Oh, yeah. I mean, just like the entire internet, everyone is, I mean, everyone's upset for different fun reasons. Yeah, that's the thing. I think that's kind of cute. I'm team angry about farewell because I've been champing that movie.

I mean, Aquafina got not only nominated, but one for the Golden Globe, but I think the most, I think it's that mixed with how egregious I really, and normally I don't even, am not even like this, to be honest with you. But this year just, it was so egregious because of how many, amazing female directed films that were absolutely prestige this year. They weren't even, you know, dusted under the carpet. Like, everybody knows how good these fucking movies were. I mean, we're talking Greta Gerwig for Little Women, Lulu Wang the Farewell, Olivia Wild for Booksmart,

Mary Al Heller, a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, Lorene Schaffaria for hustlers. These are, these are huge movies this year that were all. I've seen all of them except for Little Women, which I'll get into that later. But all of the rest of them were amazing. And not that I didn't think it was a bad movie by any means. and I saw it in the theater, but to also see Joker in the face of that just excel so hard,

like as if it was this, like, amazing, unique thing that, like, has never been told before that, I don't know. It was a great movie. It was good. Joaquin Phoenix did a really good job. I really enjoyed it very much. But also, okay,

I have never seen the farewell before. I watched The Farewell, and I've never seen that movie before. Yes. That's what the difference is. I haven't seen, I just, the Joker's old hat, we get it, we know it. Right.

And I never thought that would have gotten the kind of love it got. I didn't think it was a, I saw in the theater, I did in no way thought it was like an Oscar movie per se. And I love, I love the Oscars. It is good. It's good. It's hard to say, because I'm talking about a movie I liked. Yeah.

But it just feels weird in the face of so many other, I feel like, possibly more deserving films. Molly, have you seen Book Smart? No. You need to see Book Smart. You will love... I enjoyed every minute of Book Smart. Molly, I feel like you're not being a very good feminist right now

with all the lack of female directed films. There's a lot of people directed films I have not seen. It's almost like you had a fucking baby this year. It couldn't make it out to the baby theater. What is you just have a baby? Also, I will... I mean, I know that I had brought this up before, but a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

I and Got Daddy silently cried through the entire movie. It was really good. And I feel like there is, it kind of goes to what we were talking about last week with like, you know, I feel like there's, for years now,

right? Like a couple years ago there was Oscars So White. For years, there's been like, people have been pointing out like, there's a lot of, like, perhaps we could try to like, just slightly like recenter, like where we're,

and I feel like there's always the kind of reaction of like, well, are we only supposed to nominate Green Book? And like, and that is like, No, no, Green Book is bad. But then I feel like this is just, like you said, Holden, and it's not even... It's undeniable this year.

Yeah, people don't even have to, you don't even have to act. And you never did have to. This is like I said last week. In 2010, people would be like, well, listen, find me a funny woman and I'll admit that women are funny. And it's like, that is ridiculous. We're seeing Little Women this Saturday, but I have a really good feeling about it. And I haven't seen the Tom Hanks-Rogers movie, but I, again, have a really good feeling about it.

And I just feel like it's just so different this year. It's just so not that, you know? And it's not like female directors haven't been nominated in the past. It's just a weird year to have this result in general. And I don't think I would be as fucked up about it. If it weren't for the Golden Globes, having done the same thing, it just doesn't make sense to me. I hate it because every year we're like,

well, this isn't obviously a good portrait of what movies and what television are now. It's a very antiquated system for how far we've come. But the problem is that it still means something to be an Oscar nominated. For sure. It still means something to be a part of a Golden Globe nominated television show. That means something still. So no matter what, it needs to change. And I know that this change is not going to happen overnight, but it has to change.

And I always say the same thing to myself. I'm never happy with who wins the Oscars. I'm never happy, but I always just remind myself, look at all the people who won in the past, and do you recognize any of those movies? Maybe a few, but most of the films that have ever won, like, Best Picture, just look at the list of Best Picture wins.

You'll be like, I've never fucking heard of any of these movies. Crash. And also, yeah, yeah, Crash was unbelievable. My, I mean, not year. Don't even. So it's like, you know, it all kind of means nothing,

but I'm still such a sucker specifically for the pageantry of the Oscars only. I don't really care about any other award show unless Taylor Swift's getting the artist of the decade award on it. See, I like the Golds and Globes because they all get drunk. And so there's no booze at the Oscars. It's fun. It's just dumb. But I don't care about the actual awards by any means, you know? But yeah, you're right, Jackie.

It's about, like, there is, like, even though, like, thank God, there's, like, so much, like, more, like, you know, not only, like, representation in terms of, like, who's seen on screen, but also representation like in writer's rooms and like amongst directors and all that like it's like I feel like that the argument is always like well who cares is just the Oscars but it's like well sure but like institutionally recognizing

the good work that people do is important and then ignoring that good work is like that matters even though good work is still being made all of these things are reflective of our society of reflection of our society to a certain things like the lighthouse which is one of the most interesting different movies I've ever seen and done so well. And I'm happy that

it got nominated for cinematography, but it really, really should have been more. It was an amazing experience. It was weird, but that's why it was fun. Also, but I will say on the, positive side, and I have a feeling the Academy's like, but we nominated this best picture. Why is everybody upset? I will say, very cool, the Parasite got not, not, well, it got nominated for both, which will be hilarious if it doesn't win best foreign film. but nominated for Best Picture as well, which I believe is that the first... But why wasn't the cast? No one from the cast was nominated.

No one for the cast. That sister should have been fucking nominated with a bullet. She was so good. But at the same time, Al Pacino and Joe Pesci from the Irishman both up for supporting actor. You couldn't have just at least share, you couldn't share it. You couldn't let these young actors who... Parasite is one of the best movies I've ever seen.

I enjoyed it. I had no idea what was coming next. I loved every minute of it. Did you see there was a tweet that was like, I think there's been an error and the best supporting actor nominations are from like 1997. It's like Tom Hanks, Joe Pesci. Anthony Hopkins, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci, Brad Pitt,

which I will say Brad Pitt, he was great and once upon a time in Hollywood. Tom Hanks, great in a beautiful day in the neighborhood. I will say, I think, again, the two nopes, I don't think I'll ever let myself watch a movie. Oh, the two posts. Yeah, the two pups is on Netflix now. Was it always on Netflix?

I don't know, but all I know is that apparently Uncut Gems is coming to Netflix soon. Hell yeah. And I can't wait to see it because everyone I know that has seen Uncut Jem says, see it, see it, because I will say that Adam Sandler went on Howard Stern in December. And he had said that if he didn't get the nomination, he said, quote, I'm going to fucking come back and do one again, meaning a movie that is so bad on purpose just to make you all pay. That's how I'm going to get them. and so now I'm just waiting to see

if you could possibly top how bad Jack and Jill was I say Mazel I want to see him do it I want to see an intentionally shitty shittily made movie an attempt to attempt to top you're already one of the shittiest made movies of all time

situation there's a couple of real Adam Sandler you know stinkers out there but I am also so many people like I can't believe I'm rooting for Adam Sayler to get an Oscar I'm like you didn't fucking see Punch Drunk Love we always knew. I always knew he had a best actor Oscar in him. Like always like because of that, in fact, because of Punch Drunk Love, I've always sat back and just

been like, man, make more of these. Work with these direct. They would totally work with you. You're so good. I think he enjoys, he is an enjoyer of life when it comes to movie making. So I think it's one of those where maybe he'll keep going in the uncut Jim's direction. I do think that he only wants to take something really seriously like that every once in a while at this point in his career.

It's what it seems like. Which I get because that's a lot. It is a lot more effort, and it takes a lot, but drains your life a lot more than, you know, say, Jack and Chill or, you know, Click. For sure. But you know what I enjoyed Click. I'm going to go ahead and say it. I enjoyed it. Well, Click has that gut-wrenching moment in it.

Yeah. It's got the tear. Which is why I liked it. I'm just, I'm personally upset because every time I would see the trailer for Ford versus Ferrari, I would just go like, who would possibly want to see this? I know the people out there. want to see it. It is a movie that is the opposite. As opposite as not for me. Like it is so

not for me. I can't even believe it. Because of the cars, because of the lead actors. Oh, it's just, oh. I get that it is for a lot of people. I understand that. It is just I couldn't even possibly care less. I hear you.

I mean, I'm not going to sit here and defend that perspective. Because, A, it could be a completely dog shit movie. I don't know. but I'm off enough people say this is what I always say if enough people say it's good I will watch it but I don't just like watch everything that's kind of where I'm at at this stage I would rather

watch the Fast and the Furious that's great Fass and Furious is like I used to be Mr. like eye rolly at those movies and then I was like you know what? Maybe I should start having more fucking fun in my life and just like hang out with my friends and get drunk and yell at the TV screen

all throughout a Fast and the Furious movie like they are I feel about the movie crank. Yes. I love that movie, man. It's delightful. Crank is excellent, excellent movie. Yeah, it is full throttle.

Just fuck you juice. Yeah, but wait, wait. Have you guys seen Crank Two? That's the one. You like the first one? I don't know if I've seen Crank Two is like absurd. What does he have to do? Please.

It's same thing. Same thing. Yeah. But it just turned up to 11. Yeah. Just like, they got the good cocaine. for that one. Oh yeah.

And that's the thing. I'm not against bad movies. I just like, I really did every time I would comically pretend to fall asleep every time I saw the trailer for Ford versus Ferrari. Even the cast is great in it, but I still couldn't even possibly care about it. But what I do care about is I know that we were talking

about the Golden Globes, and I thought that this was actually a very cute celebrity moment. So I think you guys all saw that at the Golden Globes, Beyonce and Jay-Z showed up late. And they also showed up with their security guard, carrying a bottle of their own champagne. Now, the champagne was Armand de Brignac. And it is otherwise known as Ace of Spades, and it's owned by a company that belongs to Jay-Z. And they had an extra champagne.

And next to their table, Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon were sitting there, and they ran out of water. So, Beyonce and Jay-Z gave their champagne to them and filled up their water glasses. And then, of course, Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Anson took a bunch of fun selfies for Instagram of them drinking their champagne. And what I thought was actually a very cute, classy celebrity move is the next day at Reese Witherspoon's house, a whole box of champagne showed up with a letter from Beyonce that just said, more water. And I thought that was so cute. You know what, it's classy. I think that's such a, hey, I had a good time with you last night. It's almost like the text the morning after going on a date with.

with someone that refuses to sleep with you on the first date. It's like, hey, thanks for that. But it's also like, it's like how after a party, like a good party and you're like, the most fun part is the next day when you're like checking it with your friends and you're like, oh, like building on inside jokes from the night before, you know, who hooked up with who, whatever. Like I love the idea of Beyonce and Reese Witherspoon having like an inside joke from the night before, like a good party the night before.

I think that's wonderful. I think it's so cute. There's all these it's the stories of Reese Witherspoon and her mom drinking the champagne the next day. And that's also really fucking cute. That's wonderful. It's like it's what, you know, they're drinking like the middle of the afternoon or so it's funny. I don't know. I just wanted to share that because I feel like we've been yelling a lot this episode.

And I just thought that that was a really nice. We have to remember that they are all still people. And even the people in the academy are still people. And I think, you know, we have to. It's fun when they're being fun. More like sleep all. Because they're like, you're fucking bitch. I like steeped.

Yo, that's a good one. But now, Molly, very big question for you. Because I need to know your answer. It's time for a question that's big as the moon. It's big as the moon. Molly, how do you feel about the saved by the bell reboot? I'm gonna, I think I'm gonna have to pass, dog. I'm like, worry.

It's gonna be a known for me. It's going to be a no from me, that I'm so sorry. And I don't want it to be a no. Will I watch it? Yes. So in that sense, it's not a no. But I'm like, I am really anxious about it. As soon as I read the sentence, Zach, now the governor of California.

Yeah, what? All right. Can he just be the principal? Like anyone else would devise? The governor of California. And it also has to do with like high stakes testing or some shit. It's like, can you read the blur? I was like, this is, this is, the best thing about Save by the Bell is it had nothing to do with anything.

Besides the, uh, energy pills or whatever episode. Yes. The caffeine pills. They had a couple very special episodes, but this seems to be a little bit political. The whole thing's a special episode. The explanation is the reboot will explore the fallout when Zach, now the governor of California, gets into trouble for closing too many low-income high schools and proposes the affected students be sent to the highest, performing schools in the state, including Bayside High.

I'm going to need to stop you right there and say, save by the bell, do not delve into the world of quote-unquote low-performing schools. This is not the podcast for that, but I could talk about that phrase for a long time. All I have to say is, when you definitely end up watching this, please turn a tape recorder on and capture your reactions to it so that we can play them back for the podcast. This is like the show I was born to talk about because I love seeing it. by the bell and I hate the way we talk about public schools in this country

and I love public schools and so I really am gonna have a real fucking heart attack when I watch this show I have a question for you have you seen Friday Night Lights oh yeah so what did you think about that season oh yeah I love Friday Night Lights what about that season I was ready to hate that season yeah I think it's

season four I liked it I was ready I was so ready to hate it and I thought that they did a good job right have you heard me scream about last chance you on this show have you watched any of it no but I remember being like when you told me about it, I was like this sounds like it could have White Savior vibes.

You might want to check this up. But I feel like, I feel like, I mean, obviously, Friday Night Lights is like, the whole season is like, coach savior vibes. But I love that season. I thought that it actually did it very well. Yeah. And not in like a...

But it was like a miracle. But it didn't like... Yes, it was a miracle that they did it. Yeah. They actually pulled off and it wasn't like incredibly sneering. It wasn't incredibly disrespectful and otherizing and all that stuff. But like anything about quote unquote,

income schools does. When I read that blur about it was like, say, by the belt, no! I was so excited to hear what you had to say because as I was reading, it was like, Molly's going to fucking hate this dude. It's also such a one-to-one concept, I feel like. Like, make one of them the new principal.

Yes. They did it with the new class. They did it with the college years. And also, honestly, the lesson from both of those is nobody wants that. Yeah. People only want original save by the belt. Nobody wanted the new class.

Nobody wanted the college years. This is why I keep screaming about the Party of Five reboot. Yes. Make it the same thing. I appreciate, I guess what they're trying to say with it. And I'm not saying that that's not a story that should be told. But don't put it under the guise of Party of Five because I want dumb, syrupy drama if I'm going to watch Party of Five. It is a whole different concept that makes it so political.

And that's not my bag personally. So I'm just like, I'm not going to watch it. Hate seven, hate cast, hate cast, take it. I'm sorry, I don't like to be this. I'm just being, I'm grumpy. Hey, listen, I'll do a whole podcast about how good, say, by the bell is. But it's just, and, you know, I like talking about politics, but I don't want Zach Morris to be the governor of California.

All, let's just share one thing we each really like. I like Jolly Ranchers, Molly. But I do, I do. do like Megzitt. I think that Megan Markle is fantastic and I support her with my whole heart. I never cared about a royalty story more than I care about this one. This is what I want out of this. I want to save this for the podcast. What I want is for a Wes Anderson style romantic comedy made about this where I get to hear me and Julio down by the schoolyard while they like throw their things out of the window of the castle and like climb down a rope and like run across the field. That sounds wonderful. I really want that. I love this story.

Run, girl, run! Yeah, get him out of there. There's so much, I mean, when you really look at the bullet points of the shady shit that's been going down there lately and, you know, and yeah, get that guy out of there and go live your life. They are, Prince Harry's

sixth in line for to be crowned. So let him be his own person then. Yeah, let him do his thing. I love, any kind of rebellion story like this I'm going to be all about, even, I don't know, and I'm sure there's some whatever,

reasons for it to be bad, but I think it's just always fun when someone says, you know what? I'm breaking loose. Fuck you. Yeah, no, I think that it seems pretty unequivocally good. Like, there was a great BuzzFeed story that had like side by sides of all the coverage of Kate Middleton versus the coverage of Megan Markle. And it was like, you know, Prince William loves to get avocados for sweet Kate before her nausea. And then it was like, Megan Markle likes avocados and it's ruining the ecosystem. It's truly, it was like absolutely my. In terms of the coverage against her.

No, the paparazzi over there are fucking horrendous. And, you know, love is love, man. So I kind of, that also goes to show that she really maybe, maybe probably definitely loves this guy and didn't want to just be an inheritor of some craziness. And they're going to be fine. It's like, oh, well, they will be cut off from the money or whatever. It's like he inherited like $40 million. And also, she immediately went to Canada and signed a deal with Disney.

Yeah, she wanted to add. They're fine. they're gonna be fine. They like didn't want her to act or she wasn't able to get acting work because of her connection or something like that. No, she wasn't allowed to. Oh, yeah, so fuck off.

As royals, they were not, they're not allowed to work because they get paid out of the trust. Yeah, fuck off with that. So they want to work. They want to go do what they want to do. I think it's the biggest problem and as someone that has watched all of the crown,

I think I can speak to this. I can definitely at least speak to this. I think that the real big problem is that they, even though it seems like the queen was willing to work with them, they went ahead and released it anyway above, like in front of all the

tabloids going to release it. And so they didn't finite all of the details before they said anything. And that was the biggest issue with it. And she was apparently working with them to allow them to do this. Because still at the end of the day, it's an ornarchy.

She's, you've got to get her to say yes to it. before you do anything. I've seen the crowd. So, you know, it's like you just had to get all that stuff done. But I say mazel. You go, girls and boy. Yeah, I think it's great. See, that's positive.

If the queen was caught flat-footed by it, I can't shed too much of a tear. But let's get back to that same by the Bell reboot. Way-ah! Are they all going to, no, but let's talk about how bad all of their careers have been and saved by the bell. Have you seen showgirls? Slater's done okay. Is it show, I always mix up.

Yeah, show girls. Yeah, show girls. Showgirls. Showgirls, absolutely astounding movie. Slater is, he has an okay career, but he has just a bad. You just don't want to listen to anything the guy says. Right.

Yeah, Mark Paul Gosslo looks fine. Pretty sure we don't want to know what screeches up to. Screeches just was the worst. I mean, he's been shiven and partying and he's doing what he does, you know. Apparently Tiffany Amhertheisten is looking to potentially reprise her role on the show. She's got that cooking show that I hate. I think everybody except for Screech is signed up for the reboot as well. Including Lark Voorhees, who had that, what did she?

She had a real weird public freak out a couple years ago that I can't remember what it involved. But she was having a rough one for a while. Sometimes people just got to scream. And I get that, you know, whether they are inside of their homes, whether they're in their cars, whether they're just on the sidewalk. You got to get it out. And now it's time for us to scream about the list. Who's on the list? It's me.

Gotta have that list. By the way, so fun. The entire crowd each night screaming it at the top of their lungs. It was so much fun. Thank you guys so much. It always melts my fucking heart. So this I started reading about, I was a big shameless person. I really enjoyed a lot of shameless.

Now, Emmy Rossum is not a part of shameless anymore. And apparently it's because she's a part of this new show. called Angeline and she is a apparently a blonde bombshell pin up and she underwent a drastic transformation to look the part for this role so today we are doing 10 celebrities who went to extreme for roles and it's also started because on the flight on one of my flights this weekend I watched Black Swan for the first time and Natalie Portman and Black Swan is on this list because oh my god she was so thin she was so thin as a dancer I know the

But it's got to be very thin because I again, I've seen center stage. So I know what dancers have to go through to look this way. And Natalie Portman just look. I just, I thought that she was going to break. Yeah. She's already very thin. And apparently she lost 25 pounds for the Black Swan. Oh, my God.

Which I can't even know. Like where was the 25 pounds to start with? Also, which I completely forgot about this movie. Did you guys ever see Black Mass? Uh, no. No. It is a Johnny Depp movie where he plays James Whitey Bulger who I'd watch this documentary. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

A mobster dude. I think if I hadn't seen it, I definitely remember it now for sure. The picture of him in it with, it's like with his dyed hair, he looks just, it looks rough. This is a rough portion of it of Johnny Depp's life. But, you know, he had bald caps, hair implants, facial prosthetics, and colored context to completely become the mobster. And you know what? He does lose himself in roles, even though sometimes he loses himself

via meth and or why. Who else is on the list? Charlie's Theron and Monster. How do you turn the world's most beautiful woman into a very upsetting-looking creature? Just put her in a movie about Eileen Vernos. By the way, I'm glad I get an excuse to talk about us on the show. I recently saw Bombshell.

And her transformation into Megan Kelly is, fucking unbelievable. Like we couldn't tell it was her at first. We're like, wait, is that Shirley Serone? Her vocal work, and mixed with the physical transformation, is astounding. Also, I definitely recommend that. Okay, I have a big of a shop, but I love

Charlize there. Yeah, it's great, and it's all about the sexual assault stuff happening at Fox News. Really? It's so good, dude. Like, definitely watch it. I'm surprised not being talked about more. I feel like maybe I'm missing something, like some people have some counterpoints to why it's not a great movie, but I thought it was incredible. Okay, I love

her. I love everything she does. Hell yeah. And we know that we're on the fence about Chris Pratt, but I will say the transformation he had between Andy Dwyer and Guardians of the Galaxy is real. That is nuts. I definitely am way more personally into the Andy Dwyer look. But you know, he, I will say that is quite, that's a lot of fucking effort. Yeah. Yeah. I guess I'll give him a good for him, except that he made himself into an asshole. Yeah, maybe he just always kind of was. That's the problem. Biggest transformation of the ball.

Yeah. Right. Right. Nice guy into a total dick. Um, all right. Were you going to mention Tom, Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder? You know what? He was great in Tropic Thunder.

He loved that. I was just like in Tropic Thunder. Like that dance at the end, too. It's, I, hey, that's one of my favorite transformations, uh, ever, not much less on this list. I mean, Eddie Murphy in coming to America, obviously, one of the best movies. And I can't wait for that remake because that will be coming. out soon. And I will watch the hell out of that. Does that have Jermaine in it too?

Yes, our friend Jermaine Fowler, is going to be in it. And I believe he's playing Eddie Murphy's son in it. That's so cool. Which that's insane to me. And yeah, then also Daniel Radcliffe and Jungle, which I haven't seen this movie. But I will say, I really enjoy the acting jobs. As someone that saw Equis, I'm down to see almost anything. That and what was it?

Squirty Scordy Corpse. Swiss Army man Swiss Army man Yeah with Paul Dano That was great Scorty corpse I believe that was I mean he farts a lot That was John Malkovich

And that's it for me For the West Is it did you Molly did you turn a dimmer on In this room Because it was bright once before And now a darkness seems to be Floating upon me

Like the sun when it is obstructed by a cloudy day. A raven sits upon his perch. He's blind. The broodry is going to longer. A raven sits upon its perch in the corner. Does it quoth?

How do you know the raven is there? Because it's no fucking blood yet. Oh. No, I'm angry. Angry. He can't scream. That's not it. Angry.

That's not it. And now Mary's going to be upset. because I'm screaming in the microphone too loud. She's going to yell at you. Mary's going mad. Just like we're mad. I think I'm going. Blind.

Items. We can't see them. Who gives a shit? Give us a blind items. Okay, great. This A-list, mostly movie director, told a waitress to go fuck herself after she turned down its advance last night at an award show. A-list, movie director, award show, in the award cycle.

And who would you think in the award cycle would do that based on our conversation today? Director? Yeah. You can name the movie if you want. I immediately thought it was Quentin Tarantino. Wait, was it? Todd Phillips. Yeah.

Joker. That sounds exactly. I don't really have a follow-up article, but I was just, I knew we were going to talk about the Joker. And I, again, liked the movie, but I just wanted an excuse to like. Everything that guy has said in public lately has not been fantastic. Let's reward him. Okay. I'm done with angry, Quentin.

He's got a toe face, you know? He's got a no face. Yeah, he does. With the news today, the A-List mostly movie actress can breathe a sigh of relief. This was for you, Molly, because it's political. No more fake relationship required. I'm sure there will be a quietly split kind of announcement in the next couple of weeks. Oh, I thought it had a little bit more about the politics.

It's because somebody just pulled out of a race recently. Oh, Zari Odars. and a Cory Booker. Yes, Rosario Dazin and a Cory Booker. I can't wait for her to endorse someone. I love Rosario Dosson. And I do not understand that relationship. Rosario tweeted, and this is positing that it was a kind of a fake relationship.

Rosario tweeted out in response to Corey's announcement of walking away from the race. Corey, you continue to inspire me every day. On this journey, you and your remarkable team have represented the best in us, and I know you will continue to. Thank you. I see you. I love you. And see you later.

See you later. You later. She announced the relationship back in March. Yeah. So there you go. Yeah, that one's a big question mark. Yeah, was that weird? I don't know anything.

I mean, this is showing my hand. I know so little about any of this stuff that you're, like, talking about on Twitter all day. But I did know that he left, but I had no idea of him and Rosario Dawson had like this weird. Well, I know nothing. I know absolutely nothing. Love to Cory Booker. He's like, fine. He's not my candidate.

He's fine. But he just wasn't making enough ways. Whatever. She's Rosario Dawson. Not only is she's smoking, but she's also like a real leftist in a way that he's not. Oh, really? So I never understood. I never understood it.

And she's, yeah, and he's not necessarily, I would say, I wouldn't use the word handsome, I guess, when I referred to it. No, he's like a dork. Yeah. He's like a dork. And she, I saw her. I like his head. I've seen her in the streets doing protests for, like, undocumented people back in 2012. She's amazing.

She's absolutely incredible. And also, like, breathtakingly gorgeous. Yeah. That relationship is a big old question mark. Fear that your souls will rot. I will present you your final blind item. Oh, what's it going to be? It took the media logging up to finally report on what I told you a month ago

that the permanent A-list everything in her mind, singer-slash-actress and the foreign-born A-list singer were not getting along at all, and it is really unlikely they would perform together at all during that huge event next month. Super Bowl? Yes. Who's performing?

Jennifer Lopez and Who's the other one? My humps, my hops. Hergy? No, other Latin. Oh no, not my humps. Hips don't lie. Hips.

Oh, Shakira. Yes, apparently Jennifer Lopez and Shakira not are getting along. No, that's a heart. Well, you know what? J-Lah's going through a lot because she wasn't nominated. Yes.

So there's, first of all, yeah, did we even mention that a little bit? No, we didn't. We had a lot of upsets. We've been yelling about a lot of things. That's how many! That's how many! I thought that she did a really good job.

I think that she did a great job for it, and it is everyone's very upset. I think those are two of my biggest upsets is J-Lo and Hustlers and Aquafina. Mm-hmm. So here we go. And I think this makes a lot of sense when I explain this. Although I will say I'm excited because Klaus is up for an animated film.

I did want to say that because I really liked Klaus a lot. I need to see Klaus. I heard it's really good. But I'm shocked that Frozen 2. Either way, whatever. I'm just... I can't know. I mean,

Frozen 2 was supposed to get it. It's the highest gross and animated film ever. It's just the Disney movie. Anyways, a source told Love B. Scott. I guess B. Scott is a multimedia maven and ultimate Taste Master self-described, but actually, actually,

he's just a YouTube celebrity who fucking loves himself based off of his website. But anyways, a source told this fucking guy, as usual with these Super Bowl performances, the performers are having trouble fitting their set into the time constraints. Right now, the halftime show in the works, is running way longer than the allotted time. The NFL, along with the Powers of the B, are trying to solve the issue to make matters worse, both Jennifer Lopez and Shakira aren't exactly, quote, cozy. There were

initial plans for them to perform a significant portion of a halftime show together, but that's out the window. As of now, they're just planning to appear briefly together at the end of the set. There isn't any real feud, but there's definitely a chill in the air between the two stars, and this is apparently due to the fact that J-Lo was initially the one that got booked for this. And then it was NFL and Pepsi who added Shakira after J-Lo was booked. And I could very well see why that would cause some issue. Sure. But they're both fantastic.

That sounds like the best Super Bowl show we've had a little halftime show. We've had a long time. Problem is, don't you have to like pay to do this, by the way? Isn't this a pay to play? And you don't get paid. You do not get paid. You do not get paid. I think you even end up losing.

money on this. And especially between that and the snub, I bet J-Lo is not in a fucking good mood right now. Because, like, honestly, if that's the case, which it is, I'd fucking be pissed off, too. I'd be like, this is my fucking show. Yeah, fair. And I have to, now, not just have this

person on, like, it's one thing to have them come on and do a song with you, I have to split the whole fucking set with them, which is already really tight in the first, like even it was just me it's tight. Yep. Fuck that. Angry page seven. Man, we are, I'm sorry.

I don't like angry page seven, but I like, you're very angry right now. I like it. I think they were fun angry. Yeah, it's fun angry. And also, I'm not putting my, my balls in J-Lo's or Shakira's court. I love them both. I understand why J-Lo's mad.

Yeah, there you go. And Jackie, I think your elbows are stupid. My elbows are rashy. They're governed in rashes. No, I did somehow slam my elbow, though, and I've got a big cut. Wow, your elbow is stupid. So I don't know what. But it's not your fault that it's stupid, but it's not nice.

It is the fireball whiskey's fault for sure. It's not the fireball's fault. The fireball is only here to comfort and to hug me with its whiskey sugar warmth. I drank a bunch of fireball that I banged my elbow on some shit. Whiskey sugar warms my favorite John Denver song. Also, my words, the lights have been reunited with my eyeballs upon the face of me. I can see. Yay, he's not blind anymore.

Thank God. because I can't even imagine having to deal with how annoying you would be. Yeah, how annoying I'd be if I was actually a blind person. Thank you guys so much for joining us this week on Angry Page 7. And if you got stuff to scream about, just let us know. Because you know what? It's mid-January. Everybody, for the most part, is either sober or working out for the first time or eating less

or doing all these good things that in general are positive. But you know what? It's about the two-week mark when you're like, you know what? Fuck this. Give me a goddamn turkey stick. It's the angriest time of the year. It's the angriest time of the year. January really probably is.

Oh, yeah, definitely. For sure. For sure. And then I was quickly followed by February and March. And thank you guys so much for joining us. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. And you can now listen to page seven for free on Spotify.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, episodes are currently available on Spotify. Spotify is free. You can download episodes for offline listening with a free account. Listen to page 7 free on Spotify and follow page 7 on Spotify to get new episodes as soon as they come out. Oh, yop. Also, you can follow me on Twitch.tv.4 slash hold naterso for streamong.

Also, also, but not also, but actually also. Patreon.com regular weekly episodes coming out just $5 a month. That support means the world to us. Thank you everybody who listens. Thank you everybody who gives that extra support. $5 a month, Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Molly, I cannot talk anymore about things that people should support. Can you please say your things that you want to support?

I'm MJKLKKKat on Instagram and I'm just learning how to like do filters. And one of my New Year's resolutions now is to learn how to do Instagram correctly. Oh, hell yeah. Whoa, let's talk. Let's talk Insta. We should all teach each other because I'm also trying to learn the Instagram. And if anyone has any hot tips for Instagram stories for us, I am also like, I'm Googling and like watching YouTube videos of how to do it.

Because you know what? They say it's user-friendly, but I don't think it is. I don't know how to do shit. I don't think it is. No, it's all these secret buttons and secret swipes. I don't know how to do it. It's all about, because it's all about making a kid be like, oh, I know the things. You know what I mean?

Slag, slap, slap, slap, slap, and then they have their fucking, I don't know, they have antlers for legs. I'm almost 40. I'm almost 40. Oh my God. I love you guys so much. Thank you for joining us for anger, anger issues, the podcast, and we will talk to you next week

and assert of Christ, we will be positive about it. By the way, I'm going to say, I had a blast today. I think this is a very fun episode. Fun angry. You got to let it loose sometimes. We love you.

We'll talk to us soon. Bye you guys. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.