Page 7 - Episode 338: I'm Steepin!

Episode Date: January 30, 2020

You guys know we have GOT to talk about the Grammys. We goss about Billie Eilish's sweep of awards, how cute Lil Nas X is and how much we cried at Demi Lovato's performance.    Listen to Page 7 free on Spotify!   Need even more hot goss? Support us on our Patreon page and get weekly bonus Patreon-exclusive content!   Local Forecast - Elevator, Acid Jazz, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey guys, it's old Jackie, juicy Zabrowski here to remind you about our move to Spotify. This show, along with all your other LPN favorites, is going exclusive to Spotify on Valentine's Day 2020. Yes, that is February 14th, a day we shall never forget. And that means you'll only be able to listen to this episode, future episodes, and our entire back catalog of shows over on Spotify starting on February 14th. So if you haven't tried Spotify, it's free. and easy to download and use on any device no credit card needed. Just download the app. Search for your favorite LPN shows on Spotify

and listen to all our episodes like you normally would. No matter what kind of account you choose, you can always download for offline listening full free. This show and all your favorite music in one place? What are you waiting for? A kiss from me? Get a little closer and then we'll see. That didn't mean to be threatening.

Listen to The Last Podcast Network, free on Spotify. I put on some makeup. Oh, whoa, whoa. I turn on the tape deck. Whoa, whoa, bro. I pull the wig back on my head. Suddenly I'm Miss Midwest, Midnight checkout, Queen. Until I head home.

I put myself to bed. I, Bannia bough, Bannanau, Bannana, I need to say welcome to page seven, but also have to have to.

I know we usually keep our Riverdale in the box where twit it belongs, but today I have to yell except the only good thing about the idea that Riverdale is doing Hedwig and the Angry Inch

musical episode is the fact that I have been listening to Hedwig, nonstop all day because it's like, why am I not listening to Hedwig right now? I love it so much. You know, Origin of Love was the song that we put on as we exited our wedding. Oh. It is a favorite of ours, a wig and a box.

I love Hedwig so much. When I heard that news, I almost ran out into the street and found a random child and snapped and snapped its neck. And you don't even watch Riverdale. Yeah, and I don't even watch Riverdale. I was just so, I couldn't, excited, scared. I don't know. It's sacred ground, Jackie, to me.

and I don't know if I can, I want, if it will be pleasing a ponds to me to see the Riverdale kids do their rendition of it. The thing about the Riverdale musical episodes is that you never know if it's going to be pleasing. Right, because what was the bad one? The bad, well, let's see, they did Carrie and Heather's. Carrie was bad and Heather's was good. Heather's was good, though, right, if I remember correctly? I enjoyed Heather's, but the problem is, Molly, is that we love Riverdale. And not everybody does.

We forgive them for a lot. And this one, I don't know how I'm going to get through this episode. I'm actually genuinely upset. And you think like, but Jackie, you love Riverdale and you love Hedwig. Hedwig does not belong in Riverdale. Who's going to be Hedwig? I guess Kevin. Is he, though?

Kevin's always the director. I think it's going to be fucking Archie. Don't you dare even say that. We have to prepare for the worst. I don't know what I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. If Archie is Hedwig, I don't, I feel like I'm going to break my television. I'm scared to walk it. I run out into the street and find a second child, preferably a boy, and snap his ever-loven sweet neck just to hear the crunch and cry with with violent anger and laughter at the same time like a Joker movie.

Oh, that's going to become the Joker. Yeah, I'm going to become the Joker if Archie's Headwink. go up to that staircase in the Bronx and just pull the dance in his way down. That is the most obnoxious staircase on the planet right now. Can you imagine living right off of that staircase to see the jerk jerks get up there and be like, here's my Joker moment.

There was a great article about it. There was also just like a meme of a guy being like, yeah, I hang out there and I eight people. And I was like, that's awesome. Oh, my God. People are trying to go to work. Apparently, the episode is that Mr. Honey forbids Kevin from performing a number from Hedwig in the Angry Inch at the Variety Show.

And so Kevin and our gang rally against their principle by each performing a number from Hedwig, turning the variety show into a full-fledged musical that, as always, reflects our character's inner lives and struggles. So that means they're all going to take turns being Hedwig, I'm assuming. It's going to be... Which I guess I would prefer that than picking any member of the cast to be Headwere. But Holden, you don't even...

See, what's interesting is we're sitting in a kind of triangle right now. Jackie's the only one who truly understand the impact of all of this. Right, I am Headwig, your Riverdale. Jackie is the space directly in between. I'm the space between... I'm just what DMB was singing about all those years. Why is Dave Matthews band coming up a bunch lately? Stop.

Because it's been? I haven't been. Someone else talked about it recently, brought it up. I think, I don't know why. And it gave me these flashbacks, those horrible concert experiences where I was like, oh, I'm going to, like, find the girl of my love, and I'm going to kiss her during satellite or something. You know what I mean?

And then being so horny and so sexless. Wait, it's like, and says the man that knows how to play crash into me on guitar. In the little boy's dream. And what is going on in that little boy's dream, Dave? Because that is the most molesty lyric I've ever heard in my life. But we don't need to get into that, okay? Because we're not talking about the right now. We're talking about the best musical maybe ever.

It might be my favorite musical of all time. Molly, I kind of want to, like, send you home with, like, a DVD of it or something. I know what I mean? So the problem with me is that, yes, I love musicals. And also, I am, like, you know, pretty queer when it comes to gender. And yet I have not seen Headwig and the Angry Inch. And there are many things I have not seen. And everyone hates me.

for it, but this is the thing they hate me the most for it. I would never hate you for it. I am surprised that you haven't seen it. Yeah, are like, you would love it. I hate you because you would love it. People who do that, I hate. Oh, you haven't seen Jaws? I can't believe. That's like the ultimate, like, college nerd move

that just gets old so bad. You've never seen a godfather. It's like, I am, for me, I'm jealous. You've never seen Godfather, good for you. You get to actually see it for the first time ever. I'm so jealous of you right now. Not, I tout my, my worldly ways at you. Jack, Jacqueline. I'm just saying, though, Molly, you will lose your mind and you are just going to be like, oh, my God, I can't believe I haven't done it. Because, I mean, you know what it's about, right? It's like,

Hedwig is an East German trans woman rock singer, and she had a botched operation, which is her angry inch and she's an internationally unknown superstar inside of her brain that's going to become a superstar. But she made this other guy this her like ingenue Tommy. Tommy nosis. She made he's this big star but she like made him who he was and then he

abandoned her. Because he stole all of her songs. So she's going around performing in like shitty venues just outside of the giant arenas that he's playing in. It's a really well constructed, wonderful musical and I highly recommend it for sure, yeah. Yeah, I feel like there was

maybe it was, it came up recently in the last year or two, maybe it was, there was some production of it or something that I realized. Well, I saw it on Broadway. It was back on Broadway, right? Yeah, I saw it on Broadway. Wait, did you see it with NPH in it? No, my wife, Lexi, got to see it with everybody. She got to see it with MPA,

she got to see it with the guy from Book of Mormon, and the one I went to I forget his name, but it was one of the not great ones, and that's the one I saw. I'm sure it was still a wonderful experience. Not as good as N.P. Oh, I did get to see it with the OG, though, with the John Cameron Mitchell as well. And the only problem with that was he broke his foot, like, really early on in the production. So, but he played it off really well.

He had, it's John Cameron Mitchell, right? Am I crazy? I'm so bad with names. I just always get stuff around in the show. John Cameron Mitchell wrote it and starred in it, directed it. He's amazing. And I got to see him do it, but he broke his foot early on. So he was on, like, crutches.

I mean, it was commendable that he actually went through with the production. And he made a lot of jokes about it and stuff. But he wasn't, it is a very mobile show. So you did sense that you were lacking a little something. You were missing a little something, not having him as fully mobile. Anyways, though, I just love it so much. It's like my favorite. I see I'm, I'm over here scared because I'm very touched by how much you seem to love it.

And I love Riverdale, but I would bet everything I own that they are not going to do it justice. And I'm almost curious to like have you see it in its embryonic state though, Molly, like without having seen the musical just to get that perspective. I, that's why I was about to say, like, I implore you if you are going to, if you guys watch Riverdale, definitely watch Hedwig beforehand. But you know what I am also interested? Molly, I'm asking you to not watch it. don't listen to it, don't know anything into it because I'd love to hear what you have to say on the matter. What you think the musical is.

I'll be the person who learns about headwigs songs via the cast of Riverdale. The most ass backward way. I mean, they'll definitely do Origin of Love. They'll definitely do wig in a box, right? I mean, those are gibbons. Midnight radio, they'll probably do. They're definitely going to do midnight radio.

Right. And they're going to do The Angry Inch, I'm assuming. I mean, that one's really dirty. I mean, I guess the show is. dirty though. The show is dirty. This just makes me think of I was just talking about, you know, when you start telling a story about your past, you're like, man, I haven't thought about that in a really long time. When I was in high school, I was the lead in this play called the Children's Hour, where I was a teacher, it was like set in the 1940s of an all-girls school and I was the head of the school and I was in love with the female teacher of the school, but it's all about the gossip of the kids and the kids gossiping that I'm a lesbian. and it ruins my whole life because I keep saying it's not true. And then, of course, it ends up being true. And in the end, I give this whole monologue to her about how I've been in love with her the entire time.

And then I walk off stage and I shoot myself in the head. And is that a play for a 17-year-old to lead? My God. You know, there's a lot of plays that high schoolers do that they shouldn't do. Yeah. No. Kids get real into it And there's a lot of Nazi plays

That the high schoolers do that I also think are probably not Somebody reminded me recently that when I was in high school We did a Nazi play. I don't even remember what the name was But a play set during World War II during the Holocaust And the set involved two not you know swastika banners being hung And they were just there for like school assemblies and stuff I have completely forgotten this

So they didn't break them down No they were part of the set So like we have meetings and stuff with fucking two swastikas I don't remember this at all I'm relying on this being recounted from a friend, but it definitely, I mean, I don't think it wasn't like all year, but I think there must have been, you know, two weeks towards the lead-up of, you know. Isn't that fun? That's insane. Really, I mean, again, this is all hearsay because my brain must have completely blocked it out.

You just unclogged a memory of mind that I remember nailing it as Jack Nicholson's character in a few good men in high school. I remember I got to know, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you want the truth, you want the truth, you can't handle the truth. I failed it. And everybody was like, hell yeah, yeah, we were doing like scene work in theater class

and I got to play a part, and everybody was like, today he becomes an actor. You know what I mean? It was like that moment for me. You want the truth, Jackie. You can handle the, my God.

Oh my God. I can. We also did a show called Dark of the Moon which was like set in the in the hills. I think of like the rocky mountains. It was all about moonshine and that kind of stuff and like old folklore.

And in the middle of it, we crowd around a young girl and a priest or like the pastor forces himself upon her to get rid of the demons inside of her. And we weren't the bad guys in the play. We were against the witches in the play. Like I was like, I was going back to the guys, This is like, why have I not thought about this in a very long time?

And again, this all goes back to they should, Hedwig is not for a group of rag tag teens to perform. But perhaps that's better than just doing a lot of Nazi plays without ever even having. I never even learned about World War II in school. I literally never made it that far. You started in fucking ancient China and maybe you make it up to 1900 if you're lucky. If you cross your fingers. So we had zero education about what was actually going on in World War II, and we're up here

to, you know, acting out Nazi plays. But what we really need to talk about, y'all, we need to talk about Goop. Oh, God, I thought you were going to bring up something else. Yeah, I guess we need to talk about stupid ass goop. This is just a Goop podcast now. I'm upset about it, but we have to do it. Okay, can you give me a background? and I have a list to a lot of page seven in my day.

What is the, bring us up to date on the evolution of the page seven relationship with Gwyneth Paltrow and Goub from the beginning. I like to think we all came up at the same time together, you know, we've all, our star, our star rose as hers, dead. And it all started too because it was like the idea, it's like all the jade egg controversy. But it started because she would put out, like Oprah would put out, her list of things, like Goop's list of things for Chris. So every year we would wait until Christmas for her to release them because it was always things like, buy this island, it's only $150,000. But wouldn't your boyfriend love that? Did it start like that absurd? Was it always that absurd?

It never had some basic beginnings. No, I think that if anything, like I remember in like 2010 hearing about Goop, hearing people be annoyed by Goop. But I think at least at its origins, at least as I remember it, and when we were talking about it, at the first, first on the show. It was like annoying, but it was more like, you know, kind of like extremely wealthy, like mom listicles annoying. Like it wasn't like fucking radiate mushrooms into your uterus to free the demons or whatever. Actually killing people like the beasting article.

Yeah, like it was like, you know, yeah, it was like, you know, 10 ways that cleansing your water can help your pH balance. It's like watching the origin story of like Lex Luther. Yeah. In front of you in real life. Yeah. This thing that started totally innocent in so many ways, right? And then you guys slowly, because I think when I have, now that I have come in on the show,

it was like, oh, this is like an evil empire that must be feared. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas at first, like, the first person, before we even started page seven, the first person who I heard complain about Goop was like a mom who, was like, this is like an annoying mommy blog, basically. Like, imagine if like your most annoying, richest friend had a mommy blog. Yes.

And then it evolved from like. Yeah, it was conscious uncoupling. Yeah. Right. And then now, yeah, it's like. Now it's like shove a poisonous egg up your vagina. It's scary now. It's got because I also was sent years ago because there was a thing called moon dust.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was it. Sex dust. Yeah. We got some sex dust. And we got some sex dust. And that amazing article you sent where they're just rebranding everything for Alex Jones's InfoWars.

And Sex Dust was one of them. It's called like Man Powder or something like that. We need to talk about this because talk about terrifying that they are now starting to realize that, I mean, this is something that's been realized over the years, but it's just becoming more and more parent that if you guys listen to LPN, you are aware of whom Alex Jones is and his insane show Info Wars is. It's a bunch of bullshit conspiracy stuff. He's so out of touch with things that's actually very hilarious to watch. But he is a very right wing. And now you can see that a lot of things that Goop is hawking is also rebranded and sold by InfoWars as well. I love her.

Why am I so effing tired pills are called Brainforce Plus on InfoWars. It's amazing because it's like. Sometimes like a very, there's a very, like, reductive idea of the horseshoe theory in politics that I hate it. But the idea is that the far left and the far right are the same and they're not. One, you know, they're different. They're very different. They believe different things. But I feel like what's happening with.

How so? I'm just kidding. No. No, no, no. No. No. But, but what's happening with Alex Jones and Goop because it's like the, it's like the, it's like. the paranoid fantasies of like a wealthy Hollywood elite are somehow aligning.

There's a horseshoe with like the paranoid fantasies of like the distrustful person who's convinced that the wealthy Hollywood elite is all like trying to get inside our brains and run us. Like they both, they do represent real kind of opposite spectrum things. And to see them truly meet in the middle is an amazing thing. By the way, yeah. And sex dust is super male vitality. on InfoWorse. Yeah, just take it and make it manlier.

I mean, maybe we should take them back to back. I remember we got that sex dust, and I remember just like steering at it and being like, I am not going to use this. I don't know what. And I used it, and I didn't know at the time if it was like, oh, was this just forcing me to be like, I could fuck, you know?

Did it work? It's like, I mean, I guess we had sex. It works in a sex that you can. We did have sex, but it's, At the same time, you know, it was one of those things where it was like, one of those like, we should have sex because we had this thing put in it. Oh, yeah, you're supposed to put in your drink. Because I remember we both got it and I think that I was trying to get pregnant at the time and wasn't sure like whether I should ingest it. And so I didn't take it.

And then you did take it and you put it in like a Diet Coke or something. Yes. I mean, because there's things like, you know, there's the healing stickers. too that Goop sells that are made from quote NASA space suit material. But of course NASA's response was, what a load of BS this is. But the real reason why I wanted to talk about it today is because Goop Lab dropped this week. And I really didn't want to give it any kind of numbers. You know what I mean?

Because I'm very against it. But of course I had to see what was going on. Because I kept getting tagged in things like Goop forces her staffers to go on. psychedelic mushroom retreat in Jamaica. How do I not? Of course I'm I'm interested. And that is honestly one of the more innocent ones in a lot of ways.

Like I've only seen the, I've only seen the first two. It is the mushroom trip one and the cold therapy one. And I think both of those, there are actual things about those that are that can be very helpful when it comes to opening your mind, helping you deal with

addiction, depression, things like that, especially the psychedelic thing, but it's also, I was talking to Jackie about this where it's like, oh, but it's also really irresponsible to act like, you know, one person says, like, I feel like I've been through five years of therapy in five hours. And it's like, yeah, but what? No, like, in no way did you guys, like, really get across how any of the trauma you were going in with was like unpacked actually for you. Yes, you had a psychedelic experience. It's like amazing. It's eye opening. It can really rewrite your circuitry in a lot of ways. But at the end of the day, there was nothing. they're substantial on any level in terms of them actually receiving five years of therapy

and five hours to the point where that's irresponsible to say. Well, it's interesting because, again, the commonality between Goop and Alex Jones is revealing here because Goop is so anti-science. And like the psychedelics as therapeutic actually is something that is being studied. There is science to it, right? Exactly, right. And like, there is controlled studies. And I'm excited about that science.

That science is real to me, for sure. There's people advocating that psychedelics can be really, really useful for people with, like, severe PTSD, like, with, for people with addiction. Like, there is, this is something that can be known. It can be studied. It is currently being observed and cultivated as a science. And so, you know, Goop just fucking swings it on a chandelier and it's just, like, dropping mushrooms everywhere and calling it five years of therapy. So it's like, you know, in that sense. It delegitimizes it.

And especially, and then it's awful because. some stuff that I'm actually into like that. The cold therapy things even seemed okay, but then you put it right alongside psychic fucking mediums and it's like, no, you don't,

and stuff that is just not it's pseudoscience. So you're putting things that are actually pretty legitimate right up next to things that really are not and treating it all on the same level and that's where Goop, I become becomes a word that people like to say a problematic.

And I forget what the phrase is, is it emotional torture porn? What can people go through their own tripping and their own experiences as someone that I have, I will say, I've tripped quite a bit in my lifetime? Right. And I've also done it under circumstances with people that have guided me through my psychedelic experience before. And how dare you, I think it's actually very very. very rude. I'm aware of the fact that they got paid to do it. I know that they were there of their own free will. But that is, I think, to a point that I shut it off, because like, this is invasive. I shouldn't be watching these people go through it. I'm aware of the fact that they

consented to this. But I feel like, number one, goop's not fucking there. I want to see your fucking vulnerable side. If you're going to say these things and you're going to do these things, you fucking do it. I want to watch you do it. She sits on a couch and like clogs or whatever. And she's just like, oh my God. Yeah, I did MDM. once. Yeah, that's great. It's like, no, this is a very vulnerable experience to use for you to make money off.

Yeah, that's right. I want to see Goop fucking sweat out her trauma in front of the camera. Also, also, I was really, that was actually maybe some of the most irresponsible stuff right now. MDMA is very dangerous right now because it is very much so being laced a lot with fentanyl. It is

really, really probably the most dangerous time to be messing with ecstasy and MDMA and so people are fucking dying. left and right. So don't sit here and act like it's totally cool to go get some MDMA off the street and like go for it. Right now it is really scary. So again, it's just like stuff like that where it's like come on, just have a disclaimer or something. Try to be at all responsible about what you're telling everybody to go out and do. Well, that's for a group there's no stakes. It's just her image. It's just she, then she gets like some like little like, oh wow, that pretty lady did MDMA. How funky. It's like

But Donna doing MDMA and her whole backlash with that. You know what I mean? It's just like, you're cool. We get it. Yeah. And I will say that the beginning of every episode, it does say the following series is designed to entertain and inform, not provide medical advice. You should always consult your doctor when it comes to personal health.

Or before you start pre-dream it. That's fine. Yeah, but that's like, that's kind of a weak disclaimer. I don't think anybody's watching it being like, this is my doctor, you know, but they are going to watch it and be influenced by it. Yes. You know, and I don't even, I'm not even like a. scold when it comes to like the responsibility of media for the impact that it has on young

people in terms of it's like I'm not like a video game to make people violent person but I do think I think that you make a good point hold and that like if goop is going to be sitting here being like I bring this aura of health to everything then like her whole thing is to be an authority on health and she's telling people to stick stuff in their vaginas is going to make them sick she's telling she's like shouting out like drug use references for like her own cred that that aren't actually the safest street drugs to do right now. Like, you know, it's just like, what are you? Are you a health website?

Are you like a fun, bad girl? And this is the thing, I think the biggest red flag with her is that she never says, oh, stay away from this. Oh, I would be really careful with it. She never, it's always, it's always, rule of improv. Yes, and, yes, and, yes, and everything. And it's like, for once I'd like to hear her just be like, this I would stay away from.

These aren't, these aren't things that we should really, this is bad in terms of the realm of like new health and whatever. This is, you know, she never does that. It's always everything's great. Shove the egg up your fucking junk hole. Whatever. It's so funny because like when it comes to like what you're supposed to put it. Now steam it.

Now punch it. It's like there's really very little that you're supposed to put in your vagina. And with her it's just like a more the merrier, you know. Just keep going. Keep going. Put upset. Yo, is that a bucket of slime? Yeah, it really helps make it more fucking family friendly

if you shove a bunch of slime up. Why not? I mean, I'm down to you start using it as another purse. I already use my bra and my breasts as a purse. Why not use my pussy as a pocket? Right. In that day is my pussy pocket. The ultimate fanny pack.

It's a literal fanny. Although, yeah, I guess we do have an external pussy. Isn't that what we call it, our pussy bags? Yeah. So I guess I have one and now I need another one. I need an internal one, all right? I mean, down to the fact, this is the woman that we're supposed to listen to now about all these alternative medicines, things like that.

And then she goes on late night with Seth Myers. She's pushing the cruise line that I brought up a little while ago, that they're doing Goop Wellness Cruises now so you can be stuck on a boat and you can't get away from all of the infomercials that she's shoving at you at Goop at Sea. And she couldn't remember whether her cruise line is on Royal Career, or on celebrity cruises. She screwed up. She said Royal Caribbean.

And then she said, I did. I got the cruise wrong because I'm on mushrooms. And like, it said, like, okay. Oh, my God, she's so mean. She's just like a... I used to make those kind of jokes, too. Back in the early days of Roundtable, when I was scared that I wasn't funny.

So it's like, I'm trying desperately to be like, yeah, I had it. I'm fucked that in it. You know, I was trying to be the worst version of me. myself. And I feel like she tries to do that to be so edgy to be like, oh, I don't know, I'm just so crazy. You're goop. You're not that edgy. You're the least edgy person on earth. That's your whole thing. Like, your whole thing is that you're so fucking boring and so rich. You're just so rich and so boring that you have a whole show and a whole website devoted to telling people to do harmful

things to their bodies so that you can then talk about maybe doing harmful things to your own body, never actually do them, and then have it be like, wow, what a fun girl I am. I'm not one of those boring girls. I'm a fun girl. Origin story, dude. This is our first

supervillain that we're getting to see be created in the real world. And of course she's in Marvel movies. She's learning from them. She's taking note. She's going to be literally the first supervillain we will ever see in any human's lifetime. Well, I guess maybe if you want to count like Hitler.

But like, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, I think that she... And yeah, I've just made that comparison. I don't know. I mean, she's... I don't know. I don't care. I don't care.

Different types of supervillain. Right, right. Probably different levels. Super villain. Yeah, no, yeah. But that's what, that's why I say super villain, really to make the distinction. Like, one, that other comparisons, it's pure evil. Like, real evil. This is like this weird, almost fun evil.

If it wasn't actually negatively affecting people's lives, she's just so ridiculously bad. It's like, I mean, it is like a, like, in the way that a super, in the way that Hitler was like a fascist political leader and not like a person in a comic book, except that Hitler was in all sorts of wonderful anti-fascist comic books. In America. Exactly. But. But, Goop is like a supervillain in the sense that she is just like, she's like a classic comic book supervillian in the sense that she's like a wealthy person who wants to call. cultivate her own image. Big smile on her face.

It's going to go wrong and then it's going to get all twisted. She's going to be in a tube of getting an infusion of some sort. And then it's going to turn her into some, you know, weird snake. Or snake woman. You know what it is? She's got one of those voices, too, that you have to lean really close in to hear what she's saying. Because she has no lips. That's when she grabs you with her claws.

Yeah. That's when she puts, what's the movie with the ball? Scary. In the funeral home, in the grave. With the Pet Cemetery With the ball It's a ball There's a ball

There's the silver ball There's a silver ball Oh oh a phantasm Phantasm It's just like phantasm It's just like phantasm For sure Everything that we've just discussed

Comparing Quintaltern to Hitler Goop the TV show It's all exactly one to one To the film Fantasem Metal ball that haunts people And takes their souls It's I can't believe

It's like as if it was already written before the book and saw the book, the movie. Why, where are we? Am I in a studio anymore? I think I'm in a dream state right now. Are we on an episode of Goop? Is she controlling us? Hey guys, Carolina Hidalgo here from Movies Sign with the Mads podcast.

I'm here with my co-host, Frank Conniff and Trace Bellew, who you may know and love from Mystery Science Theater 3,000. The three of us come together and we do a weekly podcast here on Last Podcast Network. Movies like Black Panther. It's the good cats movie. Parasite. Unlike an actual parasite, it doesn't suck.

Parasite will feed on you long after you've seen it. It's in my head. Avengers Endgame. Not a porn about anal. Goldfinger. I love Goldfinger. Take it for me. Old Finger.

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I don't know, but I think that we're flying up high and I think that we're going back in time. And I think that it's the day of the Grammys all over again. Oh, my God. Because we need to talk about the lowest watched Grammys of all time, Grammys 2020. And it seemed like nobody really cared. Well, first of all, I have to say,

you sent us the thing I meant to respond to before, but you're like, I don't understand why all these people are not at the Grammys this year. I'm pretty sure because there's this huge scandal with the CEO that involved like sexual harassment and stuff. What happened is that the Grammy's CEO was ousted from her position because she claims that she was being removed after complaining about sexual harassment and pay disparities and for calling out conflicts of interest in the nomination process for music's most prestigious awards.

So it could definitely, so no one is out and out saying that that is, is why. Because so the reason, so I mean, you guys don't see the emails I sent. I was questioning because it was like, Beyonce wasn't there. Adel wasn't there. Rihanna wasn't there. Selina Gomez wasn't there. Taylor Swift wasn't there. Halsie was there. These are huge people. And of course, obviously, what they all have in common is that they are all women. I just, I was wondering why then why they weren't out and out saying that that was the reason why. And that's it. I mean, I get it. I guess they didn't want to bring it into the political sphere. So they rather just say nothing than say something bad and get into a bunch of shit for it.

But all of the articles that I looked up about it were like, oh yeah, well, they're probably just busy. That's interesting. Because in the past, I feel like, right, when there has been something like a specific kind of, you know, scandal or issue that has been around an award show, there's sometimes at least been like a pin, you know, like a hashtag me too pin. We usually are talking about it. Right.

I am, that's why I was so, I was just wondering. So if you guys know anything about it, let us know because I don't really know. I just found some, a motherfucking tea. Would you like my tea? Tell us the tea time. Slop, sorps, sorps, swerp, swerp, swerp, swerp, sirp, all need a crumpet. So, okay, it says here, Swift was planning to perform her feminist anthem, The Man,

but she, at Sunday's award show, but she decided not to. First of all, it said after the former executive alleged that there had been serious misconduct, yada, yada, yada, what we just talked about. But also, also, but also, you fucking tea bags? Also, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you tea bags. I'm just trying to be like fun. I'm steeping, bitch. I'm steeping. Also, apparently the, like, lawyer of the Grammys is a guy named Joel Katz, who is apparently the one that worked for Big Machine and drafted up all the stuff that kept her from.

being able to have her own music and stuff. That is another big fact. Oh, again, Scooter, Scooter Badman? Yes, Scooter badminton. Who kept her from having her music or whatever, Molly, okay? So before you badmouthed T. Swift for the millionth time. Wow.

I can see it in your eyes. I know you've never actually said anything bad about T-Swift, but I can see in your eyes. Miss Americana, January 31st. I hope we all can watch it together in spirit or whatever, all the listeners. We're never going to watch it together. But that doesn't explain why, like, Beyonce and Jay-Z were in there, why Lady Gaga wasn't there. And especially Beyonce won a Grammy.

Lady Gaga won a Grammy. They weren't there. Oh, really? Because I was about to say, I thought it was also kind of because they haven't, they didn't really have big years in 2019 for music per se. I feel like one thing I love about Beyonce is she just doesn't show up to a lot of them. Yeah. I guess she did home-com.

Did she, was homecoming in 2019? Oh, yeah. I cannot believe that homecoming was in 2019. Never mind. She had a huge year. She always is a huge year But I will say, did you guys watch the Demi Lovato performance

Of her song, Anyone? And it, that I just sobbed Through the entire fucking thing. So I didn't realize she wrote it Four days before her overdose, which I literally couldn't even say out loud to Lexi After I watched her performance Because Lexi was in the room with me.

She was like, that was beautiful. And I was like, yeah. And I was just like, she wrote it? She wrote? Like, I literally couldn't say. I was like, I don't want to cry right. now. You know what I mean? I was in tears. It was so beautiful. The lyrics of that song, I did not think I would be so moved by it, but I loved the lyrics, which was just so hopeless.

And everybody's been there before of just saying, like, no one's listening. I don't even understand the point of prang. Like, God, that is, that is a song written from the soul about rock bottom. And I didn't really know what my feeling. I didn't have super strong feelings about Demi Lovato one way or the other before this and now I know that I, the needle has been strongly, strongly moved to extremely positive feelings. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

And she even, while she started, she started singing it and she was in that beautiful dress and it was just her and the person playing the piano and she sang the first couple of lines had to stop because she started crying and then she kept going and then just the silent tears that streamed down her face

as she sung it. I just, oh, I mean, immediately stop. and went back and watched it again. I was like, this is so raw. It was unbelievable. Like the lyrics, the, and then the power of her voice when she really hits those chryshindo's was like, I couldn't believe it. I was absolutely floored.

I feel like Demi Lovato is not someone I brought up a lot, but was always in blind items, you know what I mean? Yeah. And tragedy. So I try not to get too tragic with the blind items, you know? And yeah. So, and I didn't really, I was like, who is she? because she was what, a Disney girl, right?

Yeah. Yeah, a Disney star kind of having the troubles like they do. Like they tend to have. No, she's been through a lot. I'm looking forward to somebody doing the pop history of Demi Lovado because she's only 27 and she's been through so fucking much. That's crazy. Yeah.

Yeah, I need to learn more about her story because now I am compelled. And I hope that things are better for her and that this is really like her moment, you know? And also, please listen to it. If you listen to the recording that you can listen to, you on Spotify. It's called Anyone. And that was also recorded. She wrote it and recorded it days before she overdosed.

Holy shit. And so listening to that, oh my God, I listen. I'm just like walking on the sidewalk and I had to stop because my whole body hurt. As someone that has been an addict in the past and when just like you don't know what to do and you just hit rock bottom, I'm not going to start crying right now. Start crying. What about the dog that died? Talk about the dog.

Stop it. But yeah, I agree. And it's fine. Not to downplay Selena Gomez's lose you to love me. But like, you hear that. And it's like, okay, break, you know, heartbreak or whatever. But you hear this. I mean, that song is fucking amazing.

That song's amazing. But in comparison to you hear this, this is like that real shit. Yeah. Like, this is real fucking shit. Yeah. You know? So anyways, I just say, I think, yeah, great stuff, man. Like, I want to see more honesty like that in pop music.

I absolutely love it. Well, and that's why, of course, we love Lizzo, which mausel mazzle to my Lizzo. Yay to Lizzo. She looked amazing. Also, yay to Lilna's X, too. I feel like there is, every year there's always a lot written by, like, cultural critics who I really respect about how there are, you know, decades and decades of examples of black artists not being recognized at the Grammys and that that's, like, a part of the Grammy's

history is to, like. Yeah, and they're actually got some callouts on that. Yeah. It's to like recognize white artists often who have been like appropriating black culture but then not actually like award black artists themselves. I feel like at least, you know, seeing Lizzo and Lil Nas X win this year was like nice for that reason, especially since Old Town Road was like had its own journey like that. Yeah. Oh my God. Did you see what Lil Nas X was wearing? He's so cute. Oh my God. Do yourself a flavor and look. of he has got this hot pink sex

tuxedo on that's also kinky as well with like the way that the straps were on his bare chest. I love that too people make a lot of references to they compare his style to these award shows to characters for one of my favorite anime's Jojo's Bazaar Adventure and it's so true like because Jojo's Zard Venture is about like ludicrous style like that with like straps and craziness and like very vibrant and man he's just

just rocking those looks. I love his, I love his fashion so much. And I feel like, yeah, he's like this ever since he, from the way that he like came out and then the way that his, he has been like sparkly cowboy daddy, but like not daddy because he's so young, but like sex, like he's just, I just like, he's flawless.

He could be a daddy, he's just a young daddy. He's a young daddy. He's a daddy. That's what he is. I thought a daddy was an old daddy. He's a yaddy. He's a yaddy. Sure.

I'll take yaddy. Little yaddy boy. He's a young daddy. He's my yaddy. So how do we feel about Billy Elish winning all of these awards? So Billy Eilish won record of the year, one album of the year, one song of the year, one best new artists. So four huge awards go to Billy Eilish. And you could watch as the night went on that she was just uncomfortable with the idea that she kept winning.

And the thing is that I feel like it. borderlines with Billy Elish, who I really enjoy. I really like Billy Elish's music. I like what she's doing. I like the music videos that she also usually either creates the whole design of and is one of the producers on, I think almost all of her music videos. She's very big into practical use of things. I dig it.

I dig her aesthetic. I dig what she's having to say. It's things like that where you forget that she's so young. So young. She's mouthing into the camera. Please don't be me. Please don't be me. Please don't be me.

Before she ends up taking best album of the year. And some people are very against her. And some people are very for her. So I think that that may be part of it. Because at first my reaction was Iroli of her being like not wanting all the success. Because I agree with you, Jackie, your sentiment of like, you know, so many people would want to be in that position. But at the same time, I think it's just a sign of the Internet age that you want to do well.

But you'd never want to do too well. Because as soon as you start doing in people's minds too well, you get blasted online. Everything sort of goes sideways for you, all these expectations, and all this jealousy and hatred. Like, you don't deserve all this. That's interesting. Because I feel like, so you're basically, that's an interesting way of thinking about it that I hadn't thought of, that she was doing, that she was saying like, please don't be me out of like, like, like. Because I got to see the Twitter comments after.

You know what I mean? And I feel like there So that could be part of it I kind of just took it as part of it of like The way didn't Because didn't Lizzo also Mouth please be Beyonce

When she was when they were announcing When they were reading for her Oh really? Yeah So like I kind of took Billy Elish's thing of just being like You know being like a kind of overwhelmed Like oh

Like you know Not that necessarily that she was anticipating backlash But more just that like this is the way that like a two-year-old cries at their own birthday party. Right. That sounds too infantilizing to Billy Irish. But yeah, to be like, holy shit. Too much. Yeah, right.

Maybe this is just a lot. I have freakouts too. I would be so scared. I mean, even the idea you both have been married before. I think about that sometimes where it's like, of course, it's Jackie. She's a Leo season. I love center of attention. But not in real life.

I immediately am just like, okay, I'm done. Well, can you not, can we not look at me anymore? Why do you think I'm behind a microphone? Oh, are you talking about the. attention that we got on our wedding day because that was totally like, I agree. It was like, oh, you're the performer. You'll like love this. It's like, no, no, no, being vulnerable about my love that I feel for Lexi in front of all you be. That is not the kind of intention I like. I love to get on stage and talk about like my dirty balls, you know what I mean? Right, right, right, right.

For the entertainment of a bunch of strangers, but my talking about. Fact check, true. But getting up in front of my mother and explaining to her and all these family members and all my closest friends like why I love Lexi the way I do. You know what I mean? That is not exactly my idea. And also for the wedding stuff, it's like I had so, my biggest anxiety was just like, oh my God, Lexi's father with my friends and, you know, her mom with my mom. Like, you know what I mean? Just that makes me. And even though like everything was fine, it just there's something about the idea.

of mixing, I keep my circles really separate and the idea of mixing these different circles together just makes me want to crawl inside of myself and implode. Definitely. Well, I mean, so take that and then take, imagine like creating music, which is of course like a very like emotional and vulnerable thing. And I feel like, yeah, I mean, I have no idea what it would be like to be that extremely successful and talented in that way at that young and age. But I feel like there might be, it might not be false humility to just be like there's really no way I actually did make the album of the song album, even though she, I'm not saying

she didn't deserve it at all, but I can imagine. No, and I think it's awesome too because even though, yes, they do come from a lot of money because she makes all of her music with her brother Phineas, but they made it in her bedroom. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy that this, if you look at it on paper, this is, that is like such a dream for people to not only go from like, oh well, I've been making music in my room

to now winning all of the Grammys in one year. I also probably be like, it's kind of too much. Yeah, that's a lot. I already take anxiety medication every day. How much, I'd feel like I'd have to take 20 before I did something like this. And it's probably nice to win one,

but she even said in one of hers like, Ariana Grande deserved this, I think. You know, and I think at the end of the day for her, it's like she probably didn't want to make all these other people's night kind of blip away because she took all of the awards. She probably wanted her contemporaries to win so she could go party with them afterwards and like celebrate their wins as well. But instead she got all the wins and now she's in this weird, I'm a teenager literally in this situation where like all these people I admire didn't win because of me.

And now like that's got to be weird. I also feel like there's a cool thing about music. Maybe this is the case for the acting awards too. But I feel like with music there's this thing where they all obviously other actors are inspired by other. actors are inspired by each other's performances, but the way that musicians are inspired by each other's work to me is different because you're like, this album is like, enters my soul and moves me, you know, in a way that like somebody's performance can too, for sure, but like, I feel like that like when Adele won, you know, when Adele won and she wanted Beyonce to win and

she was like devastated. She was like, no, no, no. And it was so nice because it didn't seem like false humility at all, it was just her being like, no, but this was my favorite album. Yeah, I like, broke up to this album. I fell in love to this music. I, you know, I had, you know, I totally get what you're saying that, yeah, that is the special thing about music, right?

That it can have that element. Like, you're not going to, well, maybe you will, but you're not necessarily going to watch like a movie over and over again. Yeah. While you're feeling these feelings, processing these things. You might a little bit. But it's not that, yeah, like, as much as there's been performances that have moved me, It's not the way that songs or albums have.

And like, so to have, like, Lizzo be like, please be Beyonce or to have, and who knows exactly why Billy Isish would do that. But I can imagine being like, but it's not like, like, but I'm not the only one making good music around here. Like there's all these other people who've been making really good music, you know, and so for all to be on me. I want to, like, share it together. Yeah.

I will say, this reminded me of a really funny story of a friend of mine bitching about a coworker of hers. And she was like, it was the world. worst. She was going through this breakup and she just played wide open spaces by the Dixie Chick, no joke on repeat for the entire workday. You know what the thing is though? I've been there before. I have been there before. Literally just the one song.

Could you imagine the one that just hearing that one song over and over again for an entire seven hour. I've done it with Traveling Soldier. I mean just different Dixie's song different day. Listen to traveling soldier And I fucking dare you not to cry I'm two days For state dean

Oh it's so good She loves his soldier She falls in love with him And then he goes to war And then he dies I all love to the Dixie Chicks Forever man as far as I'm concerned But maybe not eight hours a day

Maybe not eight hours of any song Much less wide open spaces Especially when you're like That's your song That you're gonna go Through your breakup with that song, come on. And I'm still trying to figure out why there was a prince.

So there's a whole prince tribute performance this year. And it was headlined by Usher, which I thought was an interesting choice. I wasn't against the choice. It was just a whole weird mishmash of a prince tribute. In my brain, we are currently researching Prince for pop history. So in my brain, I was like, oh, they knew what we were doing. So that's why they did it. It is a strange. Prince died in 2016.

Yeah. So it's like three, four years later, what a why? What is the, yeah. And it definitely speaks towards the weird, just out of touchness that seems to be Grammy's M.O. But I mean, I've always kind of felt like they were sort of just made bizarre choices. I mean, I love, I mean, let's always celebrate Prince. I will never turn down the, the celebration of Prince. Yeah. He deserves every. But you're right. Yeah. The artist they pick a lot of times I just, I'm like, I guess. And I also really dig FKA Twigs,

but in it, she just danced. And she didn't sing. Yeah. And that made me upset. Apparently, there's some controversy going on because FK.A. Twigs say they, that they weren't asked to sing. And then Usher was like, no, no, no.

She was asked to sing. She just decided not to and wanted to dance instead. So I don't really know exactly what happened. but I wanted to hear her sing with Usher. Like, let's fucking do this, man. Right. They had Sheila E on this stage.

I was, I don't know. It just could have been so much more. But I think that this is like up to, I believe that they're doing some sort of huge tribute, like another huge tribute to him that's going to be televised soon. So I believe that this was like a pre, it was a pre dip, pre dipping your toes into the warm water that is Prince. I mean, I'll never get out of that pool.

Yeah, that purple rain pool Absolutely Oh my God I'm sorry All I can think about is Prince right now But we're not going to talk about Prince right now I saw the I saw Berber Ray for the first time yesterday ever By the way speaking of the Headwig thing or whatever

And like oh my God Just what an album And everything You know what? You know what guys? Controversial opinion Prince was pretty good Purple Ray is good Great song

This is really good This is really good song Have you ever heard of when Dobscry? It's like a really good song Like really good. The band had a number of hints. It's like, I get it, I guess. I am sad that we didn't get to the story that very important news,

I feel like you guys should know that apparently Vermont is going to start allowing emojis to be on vanity license plates. Fantastic. I mean, this is big. Will they allow the eggplants? Will they allow the eggplant? It's my question. I doubt it, right?

That they would let that slide, right? Because I would just be eggplants all day. I mean, obviously I sent out in the email that I sent to everybody, I want mine to be bitching heart with a hot dog emoji. I think, can you imagine? I just got reoriented by somebody who drove away. It was peach, peach, eggplant, peach. Peach, and then just the word big.

And then the celebration had. The celebration. He was, he had a gun and his. his hand. He was firing it wildly. There was also three fires on the license plate. I think it was, yeah, I think it was

translated essentially to Big Dick is lit lover of vaginas and he bull's eye. Yes, he had literally had Coke stuck to his face. I just saw just white powder all over his

not even attempting to snort it. Just sort of on his skin. I'm imagining like a Forensic Files' voiceover that was like, the perpetrator was able to get away with it by having both the yellow cat emoji and the realistic cat emoji. The smile. Alternating. So people could not describe what the license plate looked like.

We've dubbed him the smiley face with sunglasses on hit and run killer. We're looking. We're on the lookout right now. Suspect is armed. But he was not as cool as his vanity license plate was. I thought so. Good Lord. Thank you guys for, I just, I had to include it because it's like, I'm just sitting here

by myself laughing about this. And I think that we just need to share it. Thank you. No, I'm glad, especially in the age of the circle. And Molly, I do hope you get to watch the circle. I'm almost done with it personally. And it has been a light in my life, a social media based game show. If you guys don't listen to talking TV, Holden and I've been watching the circle and we've been

talking about it. Because, again, please listen to. talking TV. It's on our Patreon, but the circle, way more wholesome than you would expect. Oh my God, it's like, we were watching 90 Day and we're like, we have to change it. We have too much rage in our hearts right now because of the current couples on this season. And we went back

to the circles. We were like, I just want to, I just want to feel goodness. Even though there's been some like shady stuff going on, but we'll talk about that later. Unbelievable. That's a talking TV conversation. I can't believe your favorite is Joey at this point. to be quite honest with you, Jackie, because I think Chris is the numero Oon. We will talk about it later, but you're wrong.

I mean, Chris is delightful. I'm not saying that they're not all delightful. I'm just saying that I'm a fucking sasso girl number one, man. I'm sasso. I live sasso. Watch the circle. It's great. But you know what, guys?

Don't worry. It's time for the list. Oh! who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. In honor of her challenge this week, which I don't know if you guys saw on my list. Insta, but I kind of knocked it out of the park. We are talking about 11 fun facts about Dolly Parton.

It was just her birthday. Happy belated, Dolly. Happy belated. You know what? That meme showed that she's still in the game. You guys see their meme? Oh yeah. She is more in the game than any of us, man.

It's her world and we're just living in it. If you guys have not looked, please follow, you should really follow Dolly Parton on every social media because she's a goddamn delight. But she did this meme that was like, oh, it's like. It's a picture thing. Just look at the picture thing. And I'm going to go ahead. It's a picture thing.

All memes are picture things. It's like LinkedIn. It's like LinkedIn. It's like LinkedIn. It's like Facebook. It's Instagram. It's Tinder. And it's like the different pictures you put on each. Yes.

This is boring. What I'm saying right now is boring. Now that you've described it, I know what you're talking about. You used words to describe the pictures. You need to use the word. I did it. And this all stemmed from Dolly Parton, which of course she must have had someone help her do this

because I had to have Jeff showed me how to do it because I didn't know how to do it. And it's delightful, so let's just jump. Guess what, guys, you won't find Dolly Parton on a Dollywood roller coaster. Why? Though she's owned it for more than 30 years, Parton has declined to partake in any of Dollywood's rides. My daddy used to say, I could never be a sailor.

I could never be a minor. I could never be a pilot. I'm the same way, which I don't know what that means. I have motion sickness. I have motion sickness. I could never ride some of these rides. I used to get sick on the school bus. I love Dolly Parton.

And you know what? If you don't like Dolly Parton, don't sit by me. Yep. And yeah, you should probably be formally executed by dog, by way of rabid dogs. I just want to say that you can get sick on the school. school bus and not get sick on a roller coaster because I get sick on the swings and on the bus and in a cab, but I can ride a roller coaster. Yeah, me too.

So there you go. Yeah, I think you're right. So take that dolly part. Yeah, whatever dolly, I guess I got to be eaten by dogs. Well, and they sniff you, sniff you. They go, never mind. No, thank you. Don't want this one.

That's what the dogs are saying? Yeah, they don't want to eat you. Okay, so we're talking dogs in this scenario. They're not being executed because of saying something bad about dolly. I'd rather not eat holing. I like the British one. I like the British one. I like it.

Yeah, well, Dali Parton once entered a Dali Parton look-like contest and lost. Wow. Whatever. Apparently, Parton doesn't do Dragwell. At a Halloween contest years ago on Santa Monica Boulevard where all the guys were dressed up like me, I just over-exaggerated my look and went in and just walked up on stage. I didn't win. I didn't even come in close.

I don't think. I love her. She's delightful. That's awesome. That is delightful. That's so fun. Did that happen to Adele, too? They did like a prank thing where she was in like an Adel and then she like didn't win.

They did a singing contest with her and she didn't win. Man, Adele and Daly Barton, two people who can do absolutely nothing wrong in my eyes. Absolutely. Oh my God. But also Adele is working on her new album that's going to come out this year, which not to be, I'm not saying. I feel bad even saying it because we were just having the very nice conversation about Demi Lovato. But man,

her heartbreak is going to be delightful to listen to it. And if it's not, man, she's going to have a tough year. It's going to be amazing. Are you kidding me? It's going to be so fucking good. It's going to be so good, dude.

Dali Parton spent a fortune to recreate her childhood home. Parton and her 11 siblings were raised in a small house in the mountains of Tennessee, which also, what is it, the color, code of many colors? y'all should watch that movie. When Barton bought the place, she hired her brother Bobby

to restore it to the way it looked like when they were kids, but we wanted it to be functional, she recounted on the Nate Berka show. So I spent a couple million dollars making it look like I spent $50 on it. Even in the bathroom. I made the bathroom so it looked like an outdoor toilet.

You know, she can do whatever the hell she wants. She can. That's not what I would do with my money, but I support her. Anybody who writes Jolene and I will always love you in the same day can do whatever the fuck they want. That's true. In the same, see, I want to listen to the Dolly Parton podcast. Have you guys gotten into that at all?

Not yet, but I also need to listen to it. But I do know that she wrote those two songs in the same day. Incredible. It's called Dolly Parton's America. It's on NPR. I haven't gotten into it yet. In fact, we wanted to do a Dolly Parton pop history so badly, but she's on a podcast right now.

So, I mean, why are we going to? Talking about her entire life. So it's just like, uh, maybe just listen to that right now. And we'll get to it at some point. No, please listen to it. I'm going to start listening to it too because I just want to hear her dulcet tones. Sure.

Dolly Parton received death threats from the Ku Klux Klan. In the mid-2000s, Dolly would join the ranks of family amusement parks participating in gay days, a time when families with LGBTQ members are encouraged to celebrate together in a welcoming community environment. This riled the KKK, but their threats didn't scare Dolly. I still get threats, she's admitted. But like I said, I'm in business. I just don't feel like I have to explain myself.

I love everybody. She loves everybody. I love entertainment writing, though, this riled the KKK. This ruffled the feathers of America's oldest hate organization. Hello, last podcast network listeners. This is The Adventures of Danny and Mike. It's a podcast on the last podcast network, featuring your favorite TV bros from the 90s with red hair and feckles. Hopefully he's referring to me, Michael C. Marona, or himself, Danny Tamborelli.

I'm referring to both of us. That's cool. But you're not referring to me, Jeremy. Who's that guy? Oh, who knows? Who cares? Yeah, let's move on. Uh, check us out weekly on the last podcast network. You can find it anywhere that you get your podcasts. Find us on your FM dial at WLP. Wait, Mike. Mike. It's not a radio station, man. This is a podcast. What have I been listening to this whole time? I don't know. CBS FM, I think.

The dial just came off in my hand. Anyway, check us out. Last Podcast Network.com. Yeah, call in and let us know how you feel. 3474708150. Or The Adventures of Danny Mike. Dot com. Cousin Brucey coming at you.

Easy. There's a statue of Dolly Parton in her hometown of Severeville, Tennessee. Dolly Parton started her own library. This is still one of my favorite things about Dolly Parton. She started her own library to promote literacy and has given away more than 100 million books. Yeah, that owns. I love that. She is such a huge proponent of reading, encouraging the joy and the love of reading. And as someone that grew up with that and was really truly instilled with that,

I think that is so important for kids these days because it just doesn't, they just don't like to read anymore. And it depresses me. And I force my knees to read. I'm like, read it in front of me. You read it at me. That's going to make a child. really grow up. Truly loving reading.

Molly, what are you doing to encourage the love of reading in your children? Because I know that you and Gideon are both huge readers. We do. I'm going to go too exhausted to even think about that. Go on, Molly? We read books before nap time and before bedtime. And last night, actually, for the first time, Freddie just pushed Gideon aside and wanted to pretend read the books all by herself.

And so it was just going through them and flipping the pages. But she doesn't have that many words yet, so she was kind of pretend reading, but her main word is no, but she says it, napa. And so she was just, there's just this video of her reading, turning the pages and being like, napa, napa, like the world's smallest book critic. Just like, I hate it. Next. Next. And so she like flips through the pages and then like throws the book to the side and then gets another one and flips through the pages and says nope and then tosses it and gets another one. So definitely a budding critic.

Hell yeah. I mean, I can't wait. I'm just going to keep. I'm going to send them books until the end of time. Yeah, Jackie sent us, there's a monster at the end of this book, which is, of course, one of the best children's books of all time. I just want them to understand that being a monster is cool and okay, and it's not something that you should be scared of.

Yeah, God bless Sesame Street for making monsters, not scary. Yep, Jackie is a terrifying monster and a good friend of mine. There's a monster at the end of this podcast. This podcast, and it's me. But I wear a big top hat now. Lovable, for real, Jackie. Good boy. In 2018, Dolly Barton earned two Guinness World Records.

Okay. One for the most decades with a top 20 hit on the U.S. hot country songs chart, and the other for most hits on U.S. hot country songs chart by female artist, with a total of 107. So it wasn't for like eating the world's largest hot dog or anything? anything? No, I bet I'd definitely watch her do that, but I don't want to sexualize Sally Parton. Well, hold on a second. I have to take this phone call from my mother real quick. Hey, mom. Yeah, now I've heard everything. Oh my God. You even told your mother about it? Yeah, I told my mom about it.

Bye mom. I would love it if you started calling your mom. We should start having Jan on the podcast. Oh, yeah. She wouldn't be just frozen about doing this show. No, no, no, she'd just be incredibly silent and uncomfortable the entire time. I want to hear at least 45 minutes of your mother talking about the King Charles Spaniels. Oh, actually, if you ask her about old Bitsy and Roxy, she'll definitely talk to you about that. For sure. Bitsy is such a cute name. Bitsy's so cute.

Oh, my Bitsy? That's not what your mother sounds like at all. She's very collected. Not at all. Very collected, very stern. She's a stern king Charles Cavalier fan person. Yes. She has some joy.

Again, you got to bring a Peggy around. You need to bring the Barbara around. You need that friend. to loosen her up a little bit. We'll have Peggy on the podcast. Oh, Peggy'd be great on the podcast. Oh, my God. I would love that Peggy would be actually legit amazing on the podcast.

For sure. Oh, my God. We really should do this at some point. Just either get our parents or our parents' friends to be on a podcast just to see what it would be like. I would love that. I would love that. It would be so weird and different. Oh, Henry Thomas.

Oh, he didn't sleep a night until he was seven years old. Bitsy's been drinking water. lately more so than normal. Good for her. That dog is hydrated. And then my mom and then Jan will just keep talking about how like, enjoy it though. Oh, it goes by so fast you have to enjoy it.

And then my mother again will say about Henry didn't sleep through the night until you seven years old. That is true. That is a true statement. Of course. No wonder he's so anxious and insane. That's why he still has bad sleeping problems. When your kid wasn't, sleep through the night. Everyone's like, don't worry, you won't have a

first grader who's in bed with you. They'll learn it eventually, but it sounds like Henry was that first grader. Yeah, but Henry never slept in the bed with them, so he would just know, he would just scream and scream and scream and scream and scream. That makes so much sense. Everything you just said makes sense. But oh, I guess we can't see anything.

Oh my God, my eyes! I think I'm going. Blind. We cannot see them. We cannot see them. Thank you. Much better, guys. Was that better? A very very shitty lack of enthusiasm from Jackie, but other than that, it was a lot.

It existed, though. It was tighter, though. All right, now it's time for your blind items, and this week, they might elude you. Ooh, what are they going to allude us to? No, I think they're pretty normal, actually. Oh. Which one named musician and Grammy winner

and recent defector of that cult had bodyguards with him when he arrived because he thought his limo was being followed by Colt Goons, probably sent by his Still in the Colt X. One, two, three. Beck. Yes, absolutely Beck. Do you know the X, the Still in the Colt X?

No. Is she famous? That's for bonus points. A little bit. She's a little bit, not as famous as he is. She is a musician? No, an actress. It's not Elizabeth Moss, is it?

No, it's Marissa Rabisi. Giovanni Rabisi's sister? I guess. She's Beck's X? She's Beck's X. She's She's, She's in a new reality show

called Beck's Axe And she turns to a dragon at the end of it. See, my problem is that the name Beck now just makes me think of the show you on Netflix And that pisses me off. I have a problem with shows

that make every name so weird You have to comment on it. It's like you're losing me And the world you're creating. Oh, you mean, wait, you mean that you can't identify with Gwynnevere Beck? My parents had a naming problem, so they call me Beck. Oh, season two, yeah, I've got a quirky name too. I don't, I didn't know anything about that show, and now I'm completely cool with still not knowing anything about that show.

I am upset with how much of it I've watched. The thing is that I enjoy it, but I don't know if I like trash enjoy it, if I enjoy it, enjoy it, and I've accidentally watched the whole thing. That's exactly me. What's the premise? It's about a stalker, a very, very bad violent stalker, but it's also like he's the protagonist. It's an anti-hero show. But yeah, I'm exactly the same way, Jackie. I'm like, at first I was like, I hate this.

And then I was like, I might like it in a good way. And then I might actually like this like because it's trash. And then I'm like, but maybe it's good. And by that point, you're eight hours in. And then you watch the whole thing. And to the point that I started, I was like, I didn't even know if I want to watch the second season. Play and then I watched the whole second season. Yeah, I'm in the middle of the second season right now.

Hold on, guys. There's so much good shit. But it is good. It's why you're talking about it on talking TV. This is like, well, it's a shit. I watch it because I was like, everyone's talking about this damn show. It's not like, it is good. It's very, I have a really intense, like, episode by episode, my feelings about it changed.

I'll be like, he's acting the shit out of this. This is so good. And then the next episode, I'll be like, I hate it. I hate everything about it. He's doing a great job. He is. He's acting the fuck out of it. Well, Beck's feelings about Scientology have changed for clearly.

Because he used to be in it, now he's out. But I will say Beck always said, Beck has recently said he keeps going back and forth. I think there's a misconception that I am a Scientologist. I'm not a Scientologist. I don't have any connection or affiliation with it. My father has been a Scientologist for a long time. But I'm pretty much just focused on my music and my work for most of my life and tended to do my own thing.

I think it's just something people ran with. But former Scientologists, including Riemannini, has called him out for totally. bullshitting us on that point, which she even called it like a pussy move or something like that. She was like, you can quote me on that. So I guess he's maybe like kind of bullshitting everybody about his lack of being a Scientologist in the past. I think it's because he knows he's like the most like likable musician. And that's just like a one thing that's not likeable. I used to really like him.

I think he is so boring now. And I think his music has kind of become very boring. But you know what? Midnight Vultures? Great fucking album. Absolutely. Deborah, oh my God. But last year he filed for

divorce from his wife of 14 years actress and Scientologist Marissa Rebisi. So apparently she was gooning it up on the way to the Grammys. Dang. Another thing about the Grammys, this is a funny one. At a pre-Grammy party, this long time back

in the day, A-list rapper, got asked if she was Snooky. That even got a laugh from her. Nicky Minaj. No, no, she's still. Back in the day. day a list rapper. Think about lady rappers back in the day same school as both of those ladies, I would say, kind of the OG of what they do now. Not Missy. No. She doesn't look like not at. Not at all. Think about, you know, what am I maybe getting at a type of rapper,

female rapper that's, I don't know, sexy. I mean, Missy's definitely sexy. Yeah, but not. I mean, I want to say Lil Kim. Yeah. Is Lil Kim like not existed? Is Lil Kim like not existed? anymore? Not really. Well, she recently performed on stage during a pre-Grammy gala to honor Sean Diddy comes last week and someone thought she was Snuggie. It's so weird. See, in my head, Lil Kim is still

like, is still in the game and I still consider her. Oh, no, yeah. I wouldn't say so, but I mean, she's great and I think she's like a forefather kind of. I think probably like way hotter and clearly like much older than Snuggie. Older or hotter. And

more talented. Yeah, no shade to Snooky, but let's say 10 million times more talent fit. Whoa. Sorry, not sorry. She's a kind of foundational rapper and Snooki is not. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that Snooky also has been doing like, didn't she do hip hop? Oh my God, Jackie, please.

Wasn't she doing a hip-hop? No, does it even, Jackie, come on. Don't say hip-hop like that. It's so sad. She was doing it. Well, I'm saying it in this way because it's Snooki. Yes, she came out with a song called Young Mommy.

Oh. That doesn't sound, you know what I mean? She wrote it about me. Yeah. Hey. Hey, tired all the time. Now you're right. So there you go.

Man, Molly looks like, like, I don't know what. Like someone frozen in a block of ice just screaming to be broken free of it. Here is your final blind item, you two co-hosts of mine. Thank you. Yep, we are co-hows. Apparently over the holidays, this former almost A-minus list, mostly movie actress, turned escort,

showed up unannounced multiple times at the home of this writer slash former A-list, mostly television actress, asking for a role and a new reboot of a movie they once worked on together. I know that's a lot. Wow. Yeah, I'm going to do it again. This actress turned escort keep showing up at this writer's door who is also known. Lindsay Lohan. Yes, and whose writer's door, who is also a television actress, is working on a reboot of a movie they once worked on together.

What movie is she, I mean, I know she's writing music right now. Is it Tina Faye? Yes, because the movie is. Mean girls. No, are they doing another mean girls? They are, well, they are, so apparently Tina Faye has. recently been tapped to adapt the mean girls musical back into a movie. Kind of a hairspray thing almost a little bit.

You know what I mean? So now Tina Faye's working on adapting it back and Lindsay Lohan is showing up at her door literally apparently being like, pull me in. Put me in the movie. But also why are they doing that? It worked for a hairspray. We just did our John Waters episode. I'm not saying that it would especially work for Mean Girls, but I guess.

I love the hairspray music. For sure. Yeah. I guess mean, but me, I guess hairspray makes way more sense in all, on every level because it's almost a musical in its original. Yeah, right.

Right, right, right. With Mean Girls, I guess the musical did pretty well. I haven't heard a lot about it. It's Broadway run. It seemed like it's a lot of fun. Yeah. Okay, that's fine.

I mean, I guess people like fun. People like fun. I guess people like fun. I guess people like fun. I don't know why that brings out the hater in me. You're right. It's fun.

You're right. It's fun. I don't understand why. And I guess. this just didn't hit me at the right time or whatever and maybe I need to go rewatch it or something but I just don't understand the power of this film I've never thought that it was like I know

it has cult status I don't think it has the cult status of like a John Waters film but it made like Lindsay Lohan this whole thing a whole thing it just it's like this weird I mean it's a fun great movie it is done great another watch it's an it is an amazing movie and I think it's also the time period the time period

right it's a time capsule film in a lot of ways and also you're probably right Jackie It sounds like it's that movie that just if you like that movie whenever it's on You're gonna end up like watching it every time it's on I watch it every time it's on there's so many references There's like October 3rd there's are you trying to make fetch happen It definitely like took hold of our collective conscience in a bit in a way But I don't know why I'm like I don't really want To come back in a I don't necessarily need a mean girls reboot but maybe I'm right

I always have just thought mean girls is really fun but clueless is the ultimate, like, of that genre, I'd rather watch Clueless, and I've never understood why Mean Girls have more status. I think it's because we're that much older, though. I really think that is where the difference is where, like, Natalie loves Mean Girls,

but she also, like, Clueless is her number one, number one. Yeah, Clueless to me is that, right? I agree. Clueless is to me is that. Oh, there's a knock of the door. Dr. Morgan, what are you doing here? I have some eyedrops for your eyes, Holden. Why, thank you, Dr. Morganin. drip drop blue bleep

drip drop does that mean oh my god I can see again wait are you sure that wasn't goop in disguise and maybe you're about to trip there's an egg in my asshole now there's an egg of my asshole but I can see again blind items is fucking over

and so is this fucking episode so everybody who wants to come at me and be like oh he's mean or whatever you know what don't even hit me up because I'm too busy for it yeah you're too busy with an egg inside of your anews is what it seems like and you know what, Mazel.

I think I might like it! Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Well, you got a prostate in there. I say, you know what? Go for the gold and have a smile. You might like it.

Oh my God, there's a monster. It must be the end of the podcast. It's the end of the podcast. It's just me. I'm Jackie Zabrowski. Yay. And I'm excited about so many things. I'm not excited about continuing

to watch any more of Goup Labs. I'll never do it and you can't make me do it. But what I am very excited, about is our move to Spotify. This show is going Spotify exclusive on Valentine's Day, February 14th, 2020 with new releases and the entire backlog of this show will be Spotify exclusive, Jackie. Yes. And if you haven't tried Spotify, it's free to download and use on any device.

No credit card needed. I swear, even my mother knows how to use Spotify. And this is the kind of thing I keep pushing through because we got my mother a laptop for Christmas and she keeps touching the screen. because she forgets that it's not a touch thing. Jackie, it's your mother. I love using Spotify. It's so fun.

Well, guess what, Mom, all the episodes are already over there. So stop wasting your time and get on your Spotify if you ever want to hear me ever again. Oh, my God. You can download all episodes for offline listening with a free account, I hoare. Yeah. You just got to simply search for page 7 in Spotify,

just start listening. for free. So with Spotify, you can listen to all your favorite podcasts and music all in one place. Are you duking on me right now? I am not. Oh, God, Jackie, I'm making a mistake in my dress. I'm making a mistake in my dress. Jackie, it's your mother. I think that any choice you make is a gift, just like the choice you have of listening to page seven for free on Spotify. Why would you say no? Why? Why would you ever say no to it? That was not Jackie's mother. That was me. Hold on. Oh my God.

Yes, and you can follow page 7 on Spotify to get new episodes as soon as they come out. But guess what, ladies gentlemen? You want even more content? Well, you're about to get content exploded with a content bomb. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. And if not, then your ass is grass. Check us out. Monthly $5 you give.

You get weekly good, good episode extra content. We do so much. We do so much content on the. there. And again, as always, you can listen to Pop History. You can listen to page 7 for free on Spotify. And also all of the last podcast network shows are already over there. So get a

mozion. It's very easy to use, just like my breasts. There you go. And fucking, I guess on that note, I'm holding. These are so easy to use. Oh my God. Bung, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang,

as bongos. Twitch.tv. 4 slash Holdenaders. Just let me get it out. I don't have anything else. I'm dry. You can come see us on Friday. We'll be there on Friday.

Holden and I do our Jack and Ease show at 6 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. And you can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. Because that's fun. And I've been doing all those little filter things on the Instagram stories just like Molly's been doing Molly.

I've been seeing you do them. I'm dipping my toes. I'm trying to. I want to know. the good little, the ones that will tell me what state I'm from and whatnot, but I need to find more, so send them to me. I'm trying to use Instagram, and it makes me feel like

I'm 95 years old. There you go. I love you guys. We'll talk to you next week. Bye! Bye! This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listen to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.