Page 7 - Episode 341: My Lips Are Made to Smile

Episode Date: February 20, 2020

We gab about Boneless Thugs n Harmony, Justin Bieber's docuseries and Molly gets canceled.  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And the seventh house and Jupiter's. This goes out to you, Molly. Then peace will guide the planets and love will steer the stars. This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius. Age of Aquarius. Welcome to page seven and you know what? We've been doing this show for how many years. I always give big ups to Leo season because I

I am a Leo and I talk about being a Leo nonstop. But we got to give props to a belated birthday to a one Miss Mother Molly Neffel who I think Holden just gave her a birthday present. It is a bottle of water because she's thirsty. It's a water. Happy birthday water. Thank you. I am, you know, in my 30s and so my biggest birthday gift is to hydrate.

There you go. It's so important. I'm actually weirdly thinking a lot about hydration. lately and how important it is and the way that you function, you need to function with it. It's so much of it. I'd have to look it up. I forget how much it is. But you have to drink so stupid much to actually be like whatever the internet says is the proper amount of hydration.

When I was pregnant both times, so first of all, I'm excited about this year. This is my year because I'm not pregnant. You're no longer thick as the moon with child. Since 2017, I am not either pregnant. I'm still breastfeeding. So I'm not out of the woods yet in terms of my body. But I'm not pregnant. But when I was pregnant both times, I was so thirsty.

I was like I could not drink enough water. And everyone says, oh, just wait until you're breastfeeding because then you're really thirsty because you have to like keep hydrated. That sounds like such a threat. You wait just so breastfeeding. It's hard now. It's about to get harder. This is some old man like at the beginning of a horror movie that just lives in your

apartment building hallway. I don't want that. Infant latching on your nipple too hot. She ain't going to get enough water in you. She thought she was thirsty when she was pregnant. Look, just point me the way to the haunted cabin, all right? Because I don't want to hear this anymore about my pregnancy. But it turns out for me I'm thirsty when I'm pregnant and I am not thirsty when I'm

breastfeeding even though I should be because you still need the water. But like the thirst, the insatiable thirst for me is only when I'm. pregnant. So it's the only time in my life that I've been like very well hydrated. And then in contrast, I completely agree. I realize it's absolutely impossible to stay hydrated. When I'm hydrated, like when I was drinking like 20 glasses of water a day, I was like, everybody else is insane. Why aren't they drinking enough water? Right. Like when you're doing it, you're like, this makes so much sense. Our bodies need this. Dry January. Like, weirdly enough, even though I essentially would need more water, one would think, when I am drinking. It's weirdly when I'm not drinking. It's weirdly,

when I'm not drinking any other fluids really, like, I'm all of a sudden like, oh my God, everyone needs water, you know, like freaking out, like running down the street a little bit. It's like when it's like same thing. It's like when your body finally realizes how thirsty it is. Well, now I want water. Is everyone drinking water? Like, I feel like if you're listening to drink your water.

I feel like I need water now. I need more of it. I mean, I do have the 32 ounce ice coffee right here, but I guess I could drink the sparkling water. And I found when I was really thirsty, when I was pregnant, that sparkling water was the opposite of thirst-stitching. It would take away. It would take away. Yeah.

But now that I don't have that, like, whatever that was, now I'm like, yeah, sparkling water. Let's call it water. It's fine. I've researched it, though. As long as there's no other specific additives, at least what I've said, I've done light research. I'm not saying I look too far into it. But there are certain ones that don't have the extra added bullshit into it. Like there's no extra added sugar or anything like that.

that it is just as hydrating as regular water, except that it fills you up faster so you don't drink as much because there's bubbles. The bubbles. I feel like after a few of those, I start to feel kind of almost sick, you know? Oh, yeah, I get sick off this. Also, I didn't know if you know this, Molly, but the hot tip for hot sex for Aquarius is to have sex with a Leo. Interesting.

So why don't you put that feather in your phone? You fucking thirst trap. I'll put that in my... You're the only outspoken Leo that I know because Leo's are very outspoken about being Leo. Maybe you should just start asking them. Maybe you're around just people that aren't

speaking about their sign as much. Yeah, that might be true. I remember the last episode that we recorded before I had Zelda was your birthday and you were talking about Leo season. And I didn't know, I was like, oh,

am I going to have a Leo or am I going to have a Virgo? And I like, I like, looked up all the characteristics of a Leo and I was like, Jackie, Jackie, Jackie, Jackie, every single one. And then my brother, who's the 23rd, which is when Zeldda ended up being born in August,

he's always been like, oh, I'm on the cusp, but then I looked up Virgo, and he is totally your brother is a Virgo. He's so a Virgo, not at all, Leo. And I was like, you're not on the cusp. Stop saying you're on the cusp. You're a vergo. Get out of your cusp. I've got a

And a Torres, is that what they're called? A Torres, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what Henry is. I'm a Capricorn. I make plans. Oh. Marcus is a Capricorn.

Yeah, I like plans. I like lists. Yeah. I love a good list. Oh, my God. Even if it just says kill, kill, kill. So wait, I also like a list. This is my problem.

I don't know what an Aquarius does. I probably asked this on the show before, but I've never internalized it. Well, now I've got it pulled up. We're already, right? that we're arty. Yeah. You're already, yeah,

you're so arty. And floy. Yeah. You're assertive, though, because you're not one with going with the flow. That's Twitter, that's Twitter, Molly.

I mean, in some ways, yes. But I'm also a people pleaser. Yes, you are. You're like, you should definitely think about this if you want to be a human in the world. Sorry?

Like, I see those tweets. That's the thing is that you are assertive about what you want. However, you're also easygoing. So that it says, Maybe because of this big picture brain activity and lofty idealism, Aquarius simply doesn't sweat the small shit. This is cool.

I need that. Except when you need them present and correct in the now. This can be a challenge. This is a bullshit one. Oh, it's Cosmo. I'm looking at Cosmo. I don't know. I think I might be it.

I was born two weeks late. I don't know whether 17 minus 14. I was born on February 17th, and I guess I was due on the fourth. So I don't know if that would make. me a Capricorn, but that doesn't sound like me. I'm not particularly... I mean... I think you have a super chill vibe.

Really? Oh, yeah, and sweating the small stuff, too. I don't think you sweat the small stuff. You sweat the large things, like keeping a human alive. No, you don't sweat the small stuff. Yeah, but that's what I feel like on the inside like I do. Oh, really? Yeah.

I have a problem. I have to go, because I'm now looking into therapy for exactly sweating the small stuff. You have an acute problem. Yeah, that's why I was talking to a friend of mine who was a therapist. I was like, can you give me some record? She was like, what's the deal? I was just like, well, I have anger and I'm very impatient. She was just like, what makes you angry?

And then like 30 minutes later, I'm just like, couples and call each other best friends on Facebook. You know what I mean? Just like, the word adulting. Like, and she's like, okay, we get it, we get it. Like, oh, God forbid the train, which is completely out of my hands and is constantly not there when it needs to be. It's late.

Ooh, will the world, and I'm like, and I can almost like a ghost like can hop out of my own and look at myself and be like, it does this all the time. Why do you freak out about this stuff? All right. So maybe I'm not a Capricorn. No, you're not a, you don't have it in you.

No. And if you were born on February 4th, you would still be an Aquarius. Really? So you're all kinds of Aquarius, whether you fucking like it or not. If you call your wife, your best friend, that just means you don't have friends.

That's all I'm saying about it. Also, are we in high school? I don't have a best friend. I just have friends because I'm a, I think it's nice when couples think that each other is their best friend. I think it's nice. My God. You're the problem.

My favorite was I saw a post not too long ago. It was a couple holding up paperwork. And it said, if you're going to get divorced, I would at least suggest getting divorced from your best friend. Oh, wow. Talk about easy going. And I looked, I was just like, that's amazing. Because I have been very vocal about this, like, on my stream.

And I may have even talked about this on page seven before my weird. We have. Completely irrational anger towards people who do this. By the way, if you're listening and you've done this in the past, and I always preface my whole rant about the best friend thing, it's me. It's not you. It's not you.

It is you that is the problem. You're the same one. I'm against what you are saying. That's what I'm saying. You are the same one. I'm the irrational one. I know. I know.

Okay. I understand where you're coming from because it's, we have talked about this on page seven before. But to me, I don't like it when when men say that as if they're, getting high five points for being friends with a woman. That's what I don't like about it. They're like, believe it or not, she's my best friend. She's my friend. Right. I sleep with her and she's a woman and she's my friend.

Sex hole isn't just a sex hole. Yes. She's actually, after a few months of, you know, being the, I realize actually we can have a conversation. Yeah, exactly. Thank you, Molly. That actually may be unpacked it for me a little bit of why it pisses me off. Yeah, but I still agree that it's you.

That's the problem, not the listener. Molly Neffle, do you realize you share birthdays with Ed Shearin? Don't care. Oof. Paris Hilton. Good care less. Did not know that one. Billy Joe Armstrong. Of course I knew that one.

That's amazing. That's a name. I knew that. I actually meant to, I took a screenshot on my birthday. Happy birthday MJ was trending for Michael Jordan and my initials are MJ. Oh my God. Molly Jane. It would be like, oh, thank you.

then I forgot. But yes, I knew about Michael Jordan and I knew about Billy Joe Armstrong, my first cognizant celebrity crush. But I did not know about Ed Shearin. Yeah, but did you know that you also share a birthday with Larry the cable guy? Wow.

The fictional character. No, sorry, I was thinking of the cable cat in the movie. No, but it is a fictional character. He has a real name. I forget what it is, but yeah. What does he say? Like, doesn't he say like,

you come on over? Get her done. Get her done. Come on over. You come on over. Get closer to me. I think he's, I think it's a shoot him if they're different. Sit on my lap.

That's going to be my new slogan. Come on sit on my lap. Dressed as Santa Claus everywhere. Is Santa 2021? Is that Jackie Santa season? Oh my God. Wouldn't I be so sexy? Santa Sheet.

A whole year of Santa. Santa. My jingle bowls are all Rishi. Why did you come and put a Christmas album? Okay, hold on. Are your jingle ball? Let's actually get into this. Are your jingle balls your breasts in this situation?

Yeah. And we're going to put some sort of oil on them? Salve. A salve. I need to salve. What do you mean? I want them to be sticky yet moist. Do you know what I mean?

Like, wait, if I might do a segue, sticky yet moist, like a buffalo wing. Oh my God. Bone, bone, bone, bone. Bone, bone, bone chicken. What you tell me what you gonna dip is a chicken wings. Molly sent us this article right before we started recording it. I thought I was going to die.

Bone Thugs in Harmony has changed their name to boneless thugs in harmony for Buffalo Wild Wings. I was like, is this has to be a, I was like, am I an asshole here and this is like an onion thing? It's in Rolling Stone. Yeah, it's a Rolling Stone. One of those things that's not the onion, but one of those things. one of those other fake news sites, like purposefully fake news, satirical news. And I was like, I'm a dick here thinking that this is hilarious and it's going to be a big joke. But it is true.

Bone thugs in harmony changed their names to boneless thugs in harmony in conjunction with Buffalo Wild Wings. And I love chain restaurants. It's part of my personality. And I love Buffalo Wild Wings. And I can't stop eating wings ever since I've been pregnant and breastfeeding. And this is like this is really my story. B-dubs is great. There's one down by Barclay Center.

I went with Ben Kistel before going to see WWE Smackdown Live. I have been to that one by myself to just sit quietly. Oh, I've been to that one many times. Well, I have found, and maybe someone can point me the way on some sort of social media situation, but I have found that New York, for as amazing as this variety of food is, wings are a bit of a challenge here. Yeah. And I don't get that. Yeah.

It's like, how hard is it to get a good wingy? I'm new to the wing because I was vegan for years and I was vegetarian for years and then I became carnivorous with the pregnancy and the breastfeeding. But like I've always liked a chain restaurant and I've always liked a sports bar and Buffalo Wild Wings meets both. And I've always, to be honest, always love bone thugs in harmony. And I have to say this picture I see them in right here, they're looking good. They're finger licking good actually. This is amazing. So Crazy Bone, Flesh and Bone and Wishbone are now Crazy Bowen.

flesh and boneless and wish boneless, but what I love is that lazy bone is not on board with the new boneless identity. His quote was, I ain't changing shit. See you at the B-Dub so you won't be boneless. See you at the B-Dub so you can go boneless. And I'm going to dip all my chicken. And I'm going to dip all my chicken in blue cheese. I'm going to dip all my chicken. I hope they change all of their music.

about people dying in rough neighborhoods. Let's change it and dip it into some blue cheese. Oh my God, but this is the thing though, is that I completely get it immediately. Bone Dugs and Harmony will sell merchandise featuring the new name, including t-shirts, hats, and a golden boneless chicken chain. And I'm assuming that this means at the,

I must have it. I have to have one. I have to go, I'm gonna buy at least one golden boneless chicken chain. If I can afford it, I don't know if it's going to be real gold. I'm assuming it's going to be fake. But as the art, so we got to go to Buffalo Wild Wings now, and we got to find out if the menu is going to become like a theme restaurant for Bone Thugs and Harmony.

And if it's them naming themselves after the restaurant, or if it's the restaurant and or if it's the restaurant naming their wings after the artists. Right. I don't, I don't even know, man. I'm very excited, though. It's the wing with the boat. So grab your ranching come on. I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out.

Those are the only two. Those are the only two that I know. And they're very good. They're really good. They're good at what they do. Oh, bone thugs lit it the fuck up back when I remember that. So my brother had the CD because I couldn't get it because it was parental advisory. It had the sticker.

You know what I mean? And we would listen to it. Oh, I'd do it. And I'd get into his car. We'd turn it up really loud. You know what I mean? You're crazy. Yeah.

Yeah. It's definitely one of those groups that I can like picture what the CD looked like. And I can like picture being in my brother's room and listening to it. Yep. You know. And the music video too because that Crossroads video, I saw so many fucking times. So many times. So many times.

Love it. Oh my God. And they also did sing with Mariah Carey. And I saw it today. So I don't know if you guys remember, but she was in a suit, in a lawsuit against her ex-billionaire fiancee that he was just, A billionaire, it was after Nick Cannon, and they were engaged for a hot minute, and she sued him for essentially wasting her time. And she won, and it came out yesterday, she won a $5 million settlement as well as gets to keep the $10 million ring that he bought for her. Jeez.

That's fucking boller of shit. That Natalie's like, oh, okay, you're going to leave me? you're going to leave my fucking crazy ass. All right, fine. I'm going to sue you. I'm going to sue you for wasting. Can you imagine suing every ex that wasted your time? And being able to also get lots of money from it?

I mean, no, because I looking back feel like I could have been a better person in a lot of this. Except for Sarah. Except for Sarah. You fucking wore crap. Don't. Don't. Oh, I was so long. No, there's no way that she listens to this.

I was bad in that one, too, though, even. I could even look back at that one. I was like, well, I've, like, played into that totally. Whereas I could have just been like, no. Or like, what are you, you know what I mean? Instead of it was like, baby, you know what I mean? If she went into like a anger, a sadness spiral or something like that, I'd be like, me need, me. I don't know what I, I was just such a little.

I like pretended to like bands for her. It's like when you pretend to like be someone, I pretended to like like like like like like music that I didn't like for her. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's good that it's good to have. Really in a bright eyes by the way.

She was. It's good to have somebody of any gender, but especially there is like a type or at least I should say I have had experiences with men before who are reluctant to ever acknowledge when they have made, when they have been the problem in the past

in relationships or when they have been you know, have made mistakes. And so I feel like it is nice to have perspective to be like, I could be the one getting sued. You know, certainly that's the case for, you know, for me and probably hope, you know, anybody who has dated can be like, I could have been the one getting sued, but I could have also been the lawsuit.

No, not me. I am perfect and have always been perfect. In every single relationship, I've never made a wrong. I can't even imagine anyone ever coming after me for being a crazy person. Yeah, as sad as it was that I didn't even, make out with a woman until I was 19 and in college. I look back and I'm like, I'm really glad I didn't have a girlfriend in high school because I really would have fucking bungled that one. Yeah.

Woo. Well, and I say this because I was, when I didn't make out with anybody in high school either, and so when I got to college and I met. Yay, we're a part of the status club. When I got to college and I met boys and they were like, my ex-girlfriends are crazy. All of them. And I was like, well, he must be telling the truth. Biggest red flag.

I must be the only one who's not crazy. I win. He likes me. Biggest red flag. Always. All my exes were crazy. Yeah. I wish that somebody had told like 21 year old maybe like if he thinks that all women are crazy and you think that that makes you the special one, it is him that is the problem.

Right. 100% and how they treat like service like white staff and stuff. That's the other big red flag. Yeah. Jackie. I've never been bad. I'm just sitting here immediately thinking about like. Like every,

like, every, different times I'm like, oh, I'm insane. Oh, no,

I'm bad. Oh, oh, no, yeah, they could definitely suit me for that. Oh, no,

that's not good. But I, I just, you know, you know when you say something as a joke and then all of the reasons of why that's a joke

and how insane you are, flash in front of your eyes. That happens to be a lot, actually. I literally, at one point yesterday, I was thinking about a, a memory that made me upset,

and I literally just went like, I just, out loud loudied vocalized it. It was such a no, no, thank you. Like a kind of Larry David, like sitting there just with an agonized look on your face. Yeah, I just hate it. God, I hate it.

And, I mean, I know I talked about it on talking TV a lot, but this happened me with the end of watching the final season of BoJack Horseman, that there was this one particular moment in the third to last episode that I had to pause it because it hurt my chest. Like, I thought I was about to have a panic attack because I, you know when you identify with the television show so hard, when you're like, are they talking about me? Ow, I've been a problem in the past.

Ow, I've been, I'm mentally ill. And it's like, it hurts so bad to hear just like, but it was like in a growth way of thinking about like your past and what a problem you were and how you had so many, that you did so many things that were wrong for so long. And even looking back in it sometimes, it hurts even more in recognizing the fact that you've changed for the better. Yeah.

I have no idea we were talking about. I was thinking about this because even though this is not pop culture news exactly, there was this tweet that was like being widely discussed. You know, sometimes there's a tweet that just really makes the rounds. I'm going to assume it was of a nature that I had to do with like opera or television. Was it my tweet about how I said that I would always sleep with any butcher that offers me the piece of meat for free when he's slicing it? Is it that tweet? It wasn't that the one.

Unbelievable it wasn't that one It was this tweet that said Like ghosting is emotional abuse Not responding to someone's text is emotional abuse And all the people were like Wait what? That's no those are like rude But that's not emotional abuse And I was just like thinking about all the times

That I have been ghosted I've ghosted have you ghosted I have ghosted someone I felt so bad about it I have ghosted once I mean I think I probably ghosted more than once But goes yeah ghosting does it go

in order for it to be a ghost you have to have seen the person like more than once or twice right um I saw her twice we hung out and kind of had like a small hookup and then we went on a date and like kissed at the end and then she hit me up like a few times to like hang out and I kind of I ghosted and I kind of was also like what makes even worse I was like yeah well I'm out of town right now

but maybe with like even though in my heart I knew I wasn't going to follow through yeah yeah but I've also been ghosted I hate that I did that. I feel so bad about that. And at the time when you're being ghosted, you're like, this is, it's, you know, you're like, I've been murdered. Yes. And now in retrospect, I'm like the V-0-911 gift, which is like all I can think about.

But like, but now in retrospect, I'm like, thank God that those guys ghosted me. Because of course that we weren't supposed to keep hanging out. Because it was, if we were, then they wouldn't have ghosted me. And it hurts so bad at the time. But it's just like, this is what had to happen, you know. Or maybe you were meant to be. be, but like there's something just about you that was slightly off that you could have changed

your redress. I don't know. One of the worst is too is that, I know, I've ghosted twice and the second time, and there was nothing wrong with it, dude, I was just, I was in a bad spot, but it's hard to say that. You can't say that. We're like, I'm just in, like, a lot. Not in a good place right now. Yeah. And the worst is being called out for getting

ghosted when, like, it was a week later, and he's like, so, like, you're just going to pretend like none of it happened? Because that hurts, and that sucks. And, like, wrote this whole thing, and I was just like, I I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Are you right? No, I'm just... Start crying. Start crying right now. I'm not crying. Start crying. I'm not. All right.

We're saving that for pop history. Oh, Mike. Don't even get me started. Yeah, but maybe that, right, maybe that's how I make myself feel better for the ghosting I've done to be like, you know, if it's, I don't make a habit of it. It didn't make a habit of it, but if it's meant to be, then it'll keep going. and if it's not, then it'll stop. And sometimes you ghost. It's, you know, love is messy.

It happens. And also, we're just such fucking idiot moron jerkos in our 20s. And I think that these sorts of behaviors, like, you learn, I've learned my lesson enough times now that it's just like, if you feel uncomfortable about a situation with somebody, the first thing you actually should do is hit them up and talk to them in whatever way. Have a conversation. Because letting it linger.

Yes. Yeah. Cranberriesing it. is the worst. Yeah, it's the worst. Yeah, all right, because then you turn into a zombie, zombie, zombie. Oh my God, good cranberries continued riff.

Thank you. Yeah, that's, and I've been with the person I am with since I was 26, and so I like to think that all the times that I was an absolute dick, I would have been, I would be less of a dick now. But also, I'm a bit of a coward, and sometimes you just want to go someone because you're like, I don't know how to say that. I'm just going to slink away. I'm going to hide.

It's all in the name of not hurting their feelings too. Yeah, exactly. And that's so stupid because you hurt their feelings way more. You're making it way worse. Yeah. Because I know I've had that feeling of like feeling your phone buzz in your pocket or checking your messages every, you know, hour because you're kind of a little baddy about a lady. You know what I mean?

To the point where you do a little tap dance number in the streets and she still won't call you. And you're just like, why? You know what I mean? But you're like, I'm sure she's just. She just, her brother must be in town. You know what I mean? Or whatever. I mean, if you weren't tap dancing in front of my house, I'd be pretty up.

I'd be like, get out of here you suck at tap dancing. That's what I would have said. Clip clop, clop, clop. That's the noise of me. Are you just making fun of me because I want to learn how to tap dance? Is that what this is? Are you attacking my needs? Listeners, too, thank you all the people who reached out about also wanting to take

tap dancing classes with Jackie and Molly. We're going to make it happen. Maybe this is our next, after the Cats tour, the next live show tour after that is just watching us taking tap dance classes. We just all take a tap dance class together like a live tap dancing tutorial that we all do. That's actually like a smart show idea that no one else is doing so we could actually probably do something like that. Everybody learns to tap dance. I would love, I really want to learn.

I want to learn and I've been watching a lot of videos. And I believe it was someone in our Twitch stream, Katie, who's a delight. And she was like, I just, you know, sometimes you need to watch the video. to really get yourself amped to go do something new that you have to do by yourself. And so I've been watching the videos. I've been watching a little like intro videos where I've been in my room tap dancing with sneakers by myself.

If you need motivation, just watch. I can give you my list of Gene Kelly movies to watch in order. But he's the number one. All right, I'm down. And if you guys also have other, you know, fun tap dancing movies I should watch, you please hit me up because I'm in the mood to tap. I'm in the mood to live through the beat. The Nicholas brothers are also like twins who tap danced, who are amazing, Gene Kelly.

And yeah, those are my two. Okay, I'm in. I'm ready. I feel like I'm assuming somewhere Joseph Gordon Levitt has tap dance, who is also one of your birthday twins. So I feel like he's got to be out there somewhere tap dancing, right? could also look up some fun. I'm a big fan of the reality show so you think you can dance. And they don't do a lot of tap, but every so often there will be a taper

on there. And there was definitely a so you think you can dance, colon, the next generation where there was a child tap dancer. I know you don't like talented children, but she did a tap dance to We Will Rock You. I'm fine with talented children. I don't know you don't enjoy the smile of the youth.

Jackie, I know that when a happy child is nearby, it makes you weirdly, like, suck, but I guess we'll talk about it anyway. I am aware that children are becoming more talented because they are forced into becoming an adult at a very young age, and that is your choice, I guess. No, but it is, talented children on television are something to be skeptical of.

Oh, for sure, for sure. But she did, this kid did a tap dance routine to, with her like adult dancer mentor to, we will rock you. And it is a very good tap dance. Hell yeah. All right, I'll look that up. You know who also, you know, part of the reason why I think I feel the way I do

about talented children, maybe is really pushed forward while watching the Justin Bieber YouTube docu series seasons, which I did watch. I watched all of the episodes that have come out so far. I believe there are more coming out. And man alive. All right, I rescind what I said in my, so I, you know, sent out my emails of what I'm doing this week to Holden and Molly and what I've been getting into every week. And I started off being like, you know what? So if you guys are not aware, Justin Bieber has got a new album coming out and this goes hand in hand with this YouTube docu series that he is putting out with his wife as well as his entire management team about him and how he feels about things.

and essentially showing off, not showing off, but saying that I am a real person, I had a lot of problems growing up. And I first started watching, it was like, this is really good. I think this is really good to have this communication and this open honesty

about things like this and talking about the struggles that he went through and how he's changed. No, I take it back. It is such a fucking prostitution of this album, and that is all that it is.

It is showing completely just what he wants you to see as like, you guys, you know it was bad, but now, And like, I'm not saying that he is a lot. I'm very proud of him. I think it's awesome that he's dealing with a lot of his mental illness issues.

I think that, like, for him, that it's really good. It seems that he's very happy in his relationship. I think that's fucking great. I think that taking care of yourself, like, it is the self-care and being pro-therapy and working on your mental illness, like, despite having such a low, all of these things are great. and then it's turning it into this docu series that I think is the problem where it's like okay well you are just it's like Scooter Braun is being interviewed and stuff like that where it is just pushing it and I'm not saying I think

Justin Bieber is an amazing artist I know that he he's he's completely obsessive compulsive about he's a like he wants everything to be right he has his fingers in every single thing that he does he has control over now of what he is creating. I think that's fucking awesome to see. I just think this is a little much. Who directed this thing? I'm trying to find it right now,

and I didn't know if you knew offhand who directed this thing. You know, you say the word scooter brawn, and I don't want to, I know it's like, whatever, don't let him go into a T-Swift hole, but, you know, obviously there's all that stuff going on in the background. Also, I can't help but compare this to Miss Americana, which I felt like she got the 20 feet from stardom woman to

directed and who was like, I feel like gave a very honest portrayal from a third party. That's why I'm trying to figure out who directed it. I feel like it is possible to have a documentary about a pop star that is like definitely the pop star being like, make a documentary about me that isn't

just a commercial for an album. Right. And that's more what this feels like and I feel like you can look at Ms. Americana maybe to see what's one that's a little bit more of an objective look, even though I'm sure, you know, who knows how much control she had over that. I could be totally wrong.

She could have been like, nope, it's got to frame me like this in this really good light. I mean, you know what I mean? Because it's honest, but it definitely still is very kind. But of course they must because it is, it is all about them. Yeah. And I think that it is good that they have control over what is and what is not in said documentary. And I think that Justin B. It's Michael D. Ratner who is directing Justin Bieber's YouTube series.

And I'm not, he is a founder of OBBB Pixar. and I'm not too sure. I guess he did something with Kevin Hart called Cold as Balls. I'm sure he's on other things. It looks like he's a producer on 30 for 30. He's doing an untitled Jeezzy documentary. That's one.

He's, yeah, I don't know. I'm seeing, okay, he's directed 21 things. Yeah, 30 for 30. It is well done. And what I like it, it is, 10 minute episodes. So there are easy to consume. And it is just,

not all the episodes are out yet. And I think that I do feel for the dude because he had a lot of addiction problems. And he's really working through that. And I think that is fucking great. Apparently the other documentary about Justin Bieber makes him actually look really good. But that was also more in the height of him doing all of the stuff.

This is more about him now learning how really, to take care of himself. I never saw that one. But he thinks that he's grown up. He says in it, he's like, I've grown a lot since that documentary. Ah. I will say really quick,

Michael D. Ratner directed one of the episodes of historical roasts. Shoutouts to Jeff Ross and Ed Larson. He did the Muhammad Ali episode. And yeah, that's pretty fun. Just wanted to give our friends a plug. I still hate this song, Yummy, though.

They do play the song, Yummy. Lexi was talking about it. I actually weirdly have not heard the song, Yummy, which just goes to show how much of this documentary I watch. But I know, I apologize for that. But I had to watch Love is Blind, but we can't talk about it because we talked about it on talking TV. I think you must have heard yummy.

If you've been in a cab and a grocery, it's one of those songs, it's just like, yeah. But Lexi was just like, I, fuck, he eat that song. Yummy, yummy, yummy. That's just a-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y. It's just the word yummy over and over and over. What in the fuck, dude? Why?

Is anyone into it? Everybody is. Everybody likes it. Young people are very into it. Is there a yummy dance on TikTok? Yeah, I think it's like the poo bear dance where you dip your hands in the jaw. Dip your hands in the jaw. Lick the honey.

Lick the honey. Lick the honey. That's what it is. It's the honey yummy dance. What's my yummy dance? I think my yummy dances I put my legs behind my head. And I just rock back. It's yummy.

Like a tool music video and just go, yummy, yummy. Yes, you're singing it exactly correct. That is it. That's it. In an adult. That's so weird. That's, I hate it.

I hate it too. I don't know it. I haven't heard it. I hate that. You're hearing it exactly right the way we're singing it. That's all there is. And it's so frustrating. I just hate it.

Yeah. Same. It's bad. It's bad. I love Justin Bieber. That album from whatever that was, you know, the one was sorry. And what do you mean and all? That's, he's, he's, I think,

is so good, but I hate yummy. And also, I do like this new, I do like the new album. So in a lot of this, the doggie series is following the album. And what I do like about this is that it does get into more detail, even though it shows it's very obviously tailored to do this of like, you should be supportive of his marriage. Please be supportive of his marriage. She's a good wife. I'll throw it out there. I mean, I know that it's all manipulation and it's all, it's definitely.

telling me to feel this way. But it seems like they love each other. All right. She is very stable for him. But like to the point that it seems like they are good for each other in this time of transition because she's the one like,

have you taken your medication? Are you like, how are you feeling? Like almost like a weighted blanket for him that is around at all times to keep it because she's very much. Or a mom. But they have a lot of sex, That's fun.

Slyne Gomes should put out a song that just goes, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew. Ew. Ew. I gotta lose you to love me, baby. That song, ugh. That song is really fucking good. It's so good.

So, yeah, I don't know if I necessarily recommend watching it, but I just, I really, because Molly, I know that you like Justin Bieber, and I do like Justin Bieber, and I know that it is very difficult to watch someone so openly struggle with mental illness, and like, to the people, point that so this all, which I didn't even really realize that I think it was in 2017 or 2018, that he canceled half of his tour because he just couldn't do it anymore. We tortured this boy. Yes.

Like this is my thing with Justin Bieber. It's like you take a 12 year old, you turn him into like the most famous person, you know, on earth and everything that comes with that. And then you watch him grow up in. And then he's an asshole because, of course he is. because anybody growing up is it, because he's figuring out how to be a person. And the whole world turns on it. And then the whole world is like, what a dick, this guy.

He thinks he's something. Well, we, you know, and it's not to, like, exonerate the real, very real asshole things that Justin Bieber has done, like, you know, like, he has been a dick. Like, I'm thinking specifically of, like, the Despacito stuff when he was just, like, racist and annoying about it. Like, but, like, he, like, in terms of just, like, him being. a child star, the idea that we just like take child stars and then we're like, oh, they're all fucked up now. Oh, I hate you for it. You know, it's like, this is like we made Justin Bieber and

then we marvel at him and we're like, wow, what a asshole. And I just feel like, you know, he's a grown adult now and he's like accountable for the things that he does that are bad. But also, like, in terms of, yeah, I just feel like I have so much empathy for that guy because, you know, he's He's been in the spotlight, talent being told that he's the best shit there ever was since he's 12. So then he acts like he's the best shit there ever was. And then people are like, well, that's annoying. Is this a good time to mention I was recently on the Adventures of Danny and Mike? You might remember them as Pete and Pete.

Their podcast is fantastic. And I just got released recently. So check that out. It's Millie Bobby Brown's birthday. And she had a post on, yeah, 16. She had a post on Instagram about how. Drake fucking put a heart on it. I was thinking about Drake.

But she had this post about how it was like a copy of video, like a compilation of headlines about her, like over sexualizing her and like speculating about her, you know, like and how invasive it is. And she's like, I'm going to be real. The last few years have been extremely hard. And like, and then I follow all the stranger things kids on Twitter. And then the kid who plays Will posted a picture of them being like, you're my best friend. I'm so glad your friends. And posted them on the set from like season one. And they're like little baby children.

They're so young. And so like, yeah. So, you know, the child star thing is just, you know, again, once somebody is an adult, you got to hold them accountable no matter what their weird ass childhood was. But also, like, I just have a hard time, like, being too mad about Justin Bieber being, like, when he's a harmless asshole, like when he's just an asshole because he's into himself, I'm like, well, yeah, of course he's into himself. This is why I want to start campaigning right now.

Let's put the lens on the elderly. I want elderly stars. I see we go there because they'll be assholes too. Did you see the trailer for VFW? Oh, yes. Oh, my God. VFW guys is, I love watch it. It is essentially a bunch of old school actor, like action actors.

And they're not doing like a, what is it the depends the independence the expendables they're making an adult diaper chip no I thought that too

no they're not doing it in like a zany faction it's like Stephen Lang and Fred Williams and it's like all these older action actors that are protecting the VFW

that these young dumb drug dealers are going they're like oh let's go go in and kill all these old fuckers and they're like, oh yeah, you're going to come kill us. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap. Knife, knife, knife, knife. And I love seeing older people.

It's like, no, man, not only do they know how to fucking kill you, but they have been killing a lot longer than you've been killing. George Went is in it. Yeah, that's a really good idea for a movie. It is. I love that they're doing that, and that trailer looks rad. It kind of gives me green room vibes a little bit. Right?

It reminds me of green room. Yeah, which I love, absolutely. Yeah, it's got that kind of cool thriller-harrie thing. I'm into it. But not to get back to Justin Bieber. The only reason why I got so into Justin Bieber this week is because he had come out in this interview saying that he was very nervous about the way that Billy Elish was skyrocketing. And that he came out and in this interview, he's like, I just want to protect her. I don't want her to lose it.

I don't want her to go through anything I went through. I don't wish that upon anybody. So yeah, if she ever needs me, I'm just a call away because she was a huge Justin Bieber fan And so she has now worked with him a couple of times And she is obviously very influenced by him And he is a big role model to her So I imagine him coming out and saying that in this interview

Was a big thing to her because can you imagine? Yeah And watching it happen And now that he's older and watching younger people go through it How hard that's got to be. Yeah. It felt like our genuine moment and I definitely feel like whatever you want to say

about the documentary being this kind of shiny promo for his new album, I think that that is real in that interview. Totally. There is so much to unpack there and it does feel nice because especially when you've got fucking Drake out there just trying to make it whatever with people, at least there's some people out there

that are hopefully trying to protect these people. Well, and like, you know, we can, I don't know if this is too controversial to get into, but like thinking about like leaving Neverland, Like, like, that that would, there's just like a cycle of abuse. Yeah, it's scary. Right? Like an example of, like, what was clearly somebody who was abused and, and hurt so much as a kid,

then growing up to do the exact same thing specifically to people in his exact same situation. Yes. You know. It's just so, it's like a virus. And then to have, you know, to have an example of, like, a child star be like, what I went through was so fucked up. And I want to, like, call it out and I want to protect other people from going through that. I feel like is such a nice contrast to like what is a different example of what happens when we fuck up people. Yeah, that you would turn around and be like, I'm not going to let this happen to, you know, the next group.

Right. Is really admirable. And like name it, you know, and like be like, this is what happened to me. This is fucked up. Which is why I was admiring Millie Bobby Brown's post and being like, it has been absolutely fucked up the way you guys have treated me. I just turned 16, you know. Yeah. She's still a kid.

I know. It's like, a lot of times you don't want them to grow up too fast. I kind of want her to just be 18 at this point because it's freaking me out. Well, and you could go back to four years ago or whatever it was. We were talking about how good stranger things was on the show. And we were like, we are so worried about those kids. Yes. Like, it is so scary to see, you know, kids like rise to start them like that

because you just know that they're going to go through so much messed up stuff. Well, and especially in the way with Billy Eilish, where she is very open about the fact that she doesn't drink, She doesn't do drugs. She likes to keep herself out of all of those kind of things. And I imagine that's probably why Justin Bieber is so connected to her in a way where it's like he grew up and is now especially, he holds a lot of Christian values.

And he always told himself he had to be this thing. He had to be this specific thing, especially to the outside world. So that on the inside, then you had to hide everything that you did because you've already come out and said, Well, I'm not doing these things. And hopefully, Billy Elish will continue to not do those things and keep on whatever path she chooses for herself. Or choose to do them and not torture herself about it.

Exactly. And not hide it, not have then completely a life where then not only are you the celebrity and then also your inner self, but then on top of it, you have to hide all of the things that you want to do. Right. Which if you're doing it in a normal, like in a proper amount, it's okay. one she's old enough but well but as we've discussed I mean based on she's what 16 like you guys were getting all 17 17 you guys were definitely getting all fucked up by then anyway it's not necessarily messed up for a 17 year old to be uppers downers fucking scraper's she's actually 18 she just turned 18 oh okay there you go so that's good so that's all just I totally

agree with you Jackie that's just to say like if she does 18's too young still though I don't know why I'm saying like magically she's I mean it's Find out. That's a lot. Don't we find out. It's too young in the sense that she's a kid and she should have like a lot of room to like grow and make mistakes. But it's not like so young that it'd be like, oh, you know, she can't party. Like because 18 year olds party, 13 year olds party.

Like even non-famous 13 year olds like do that. Oh, yeah, dude. But they just have to. I was fucking out there. I was doing gel tabs bra. You know what I'm saying? But they just got to have somebody there to like, you know, be there for them when they do it. and to not, you know, and so yeah,

I was very moved by Bieber looking out for Billy Elish. Also, did you listen to Billy Elish is doing the new James Bond theme song for the next Bond movie? The song is called No Time to Die. And man, woo-woo. It is epic, I think, is the word. Haunting? I will say haunting.

She's very good to be haunting. It does kind of remind me of Adele's Skyfall, though, a little bit. Right? Yeah. Only that one part where she's like, Adele Skyfall. Yes, because I was like, that's where. Why is she saying?

Adele's skyfall. In the middle. Oh, man. There is, I feel bad for Adele because now it's like, dude, she's lost a bunch of weight. She looks great. She looks great no matter what,

because I'm obsessed with Adel. She can do whatever the fuck she wants. Yeah, I feel bad for that millionaire losing a bunch of weight too. She's getting a lot of shit from the internet. And then also, she was officiating her friend's wedding over the weekend and then also got drunk and was singing,

and it was singing, rolling in the deep with the bride. And she's a very private person. Someone recorded it and sold it to a bunch of papers. And then also afterwards, they found out where she was and a bunch of paparazzi came and was taking all these pictures. Like, look at how angry Adele is. It's like, yeah, because you fucking blew up her spot. And now you're taking picture where it's like,

it was her friend's wedding. Get the fuck out of there, man. That sucks. And you know what, actually, and more than that, almost more than that, fuck the person who filmed it. Yeah. Are you a friend of the groomer bride? Like, are you, like, fuck off. Why would you ever do that?

That is so shitty. Get drunk and sing your own greatest hits. How awesome. That would be a great part about being Adele. I'd be like, yeah, I get wasted at this thing rolling in the deep one day out of seven because I'm Adele. I hope she finds out who did that and somehow get, I don't know, at least let them know how fucking shitty that was. Yeah. And she's just hammered and screaming at these paparazzi.

And then they're now also just being, like, giving her shit for being such an angry person. But I would have also flipped the hell out. Yeah. Are you kidding me? Get out. Go. Yeah. Leave Adele alone.

Leave her alone. I think that she, I don't know what she's doing. I don't know. I mean, I can't even imagine. Apparently it's Pilates. Is that what it is? Is it tap dancing? Maybe she's tap dancing.

It might be tap dancing. She's tap dancing to her own music. That'd be so funny. She just like comes out. She's like, my next album will not have singing. It will merely be tap. And she just got to clip up, top, top, top, tap, tap. A tip, tap, tap, tap.

Top top. Which maybe it might be the way that the backstreet boys are going because did you guys see the backstreet boys on Jimmy Fallon, singing with Jimmy Fallon, a barbershop version of the thong song. It was super cute, but it made me nostalgic for it. So I have like a number of bones to pick with Jimmy Fallon, but I fucking love the Barbershop Quartet series and the Classroom Instruments series. Yeah, I love it. He did one a few years ago that was, it wasn't me.

And I think I recently disclosed on this show how much I love the Shaggy song, it wasn't me. It's like, I really love that song. And the Barbershop Quartet version. You're just a Shaggy Head. I am. The Barbershop Quartet version of It Wasn't Me is beautiful. It is like absolutely.

beautiful and so I really enjoy the barbershop series and I really enjoyed insane or Backstreet Boys gosh I'm sorry for that make them a mistake oh my god I think you just got cancer I just said cancel me not in this house I just got in this house I just got thinking of the famous cancellation I kept thinking of that guy's face Brian is that the guy whoever he thought was hot in the Backstreet Boys and I never was a Brian. I was always a Kevin. I was always a Nick.

I mean, yeah, of course. I was always a, why won't the girls date me? They like these boy bands and I don't have nothing for them. No, you don't. But you know who does this new mashup between Lizzo and Harry Styles, which I feel like my, like I've put it out there into the universe. I've said, hello, I'm obsessed with Harry Styles as well as Lizzo. Can we make them come together?

And yes, my energy is that strong that I have. I did this. I was the one that got them to start performing together. This is not true. But I wish it it was because watching Lizzo sing adore you, which is an amazing Harry Styles song, and watching her cover it, made my lips smile fire.

I don't roll. I love it. My lips are made to smile every time I see her enjoying herself in public. It's just like relentlessly joyful. She was at the Britta Awards, I believe. Did you see her? She was in a dress that was a, or the Brit Awards. And she was in a big, beautiful dress that made her look like she was inside of a chocolate bar wrapper.

Yes. Was that the one where the crowd starts singing good as hell to her? Oh, no, no. Oh, really? No, but that's also, are you talking about her social media, like the video that she took of herself? There's one, it was her on a, like, on a red carpet, but like the crowd just starts singing good as hell. That's awesome. No, that is not the one that I was thinking of.

No, I was thinking of, this is just her on the red carpet that she just happened to wear this chocolate bar-inspired dress that she also had a little, I believe it was a purse that was in the shape of a chocolate bar, like an unwrapped chocolate bar. It's like a clutch and it was like diamond-studded chocolate bar. Man. And just this milk of chocolate on her. I love everything. Her social media is out of this world. It's crazy. I thought you were referring to, Molly,

that there's this video of her, and she's like, everybody keeps asking me, Lizzo, why are you always on vacation? And then she turns her camera around, and there's a bunch of people with all these posters, and she's like, bitch, this is my work.

And then she goes, hit it. She's like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Just starts, like, dancing. I love her. I love her. I love her. almost as much as I love everything that Jane Fonda is doing right now.

Yes. Please follow her on social media. It's great. I started following her last year when she was like the downfalls of being a single person the day after the Oscars. And it was a picture of her with no makeup on. She couldn't unzip the dress. And she's just like eating breakfast.

It's still in the dress from the night before. She is so fine. and so much over the age of 80. It is astounding. The way that J-Lo is redefining 50, Jane Fonda is redefining 80, man. And I never thought I'd see the day that there would be such an extremely bangable 80-plus-year-old movie star.

She is incredible. I love her. She also has now come out that she is done with plastic surgery. she also has said that she's never going to buy any more clothes ever again. Which I love, and I love that she rewore the dress at the Oscars. Because like, who gives a fuck sometimes a little bit? Yeah. I don't like the preciousness of all that stuff with the red carpet.

I think it's like not to be, it was kind of funny. Like, Lexi was in the background. I was just like, look, she wore the same dress for both Oscars. And Lexer was just like, well, why did people give a fuck about that? I'm like, no, no, it's a good thing. It's like cool that she did that because she's just over it at this point. She was like, oh, okay. Wasn't this also like a fun Tiffany Haddish thing from last year where she was like,

I'm going to wear this dress again? And everyone was like, no, you're not allowed to do that. Yes. Oh, God. And just Tiffany Haddish, which I had sent another story over because apparently a couple of years ago Tiffany Haddish said that if Brad Pitt was still single in 2020, that she was going to date him. and at the Oscars.

And it's just, she said it two years ago. And then at the after party, the Oscars, he, like, there's all this, like, all these pictures of the two of them with him obviously kind of trying to get away with her because he is very much scared of her. And I think that's a lot of fun. You know what you fucking should be, Brad Pitt?

And she doesn't, and he's like, what did she say about it? She said, he was like, oh shit, Tiffany Haddish is here and doing his eye shifty. I was like, ain't nobody fucking with you. you've got too many kids. So I have a quick wreck for that too. I love that you posted that because recently she was on a podcast.

I was listening to Tiger Belly with Bobby Lee and his lovely lady Kalila. And they just talked about her whole career and everything. And her whole spirit was just so positive and amazing. And she just talks about just trying to be the friendliest, nicest person on set. Even if you're working with somebody awful, you know, just kill them with kind. and just had all this great advice for coming up in the career that she came up in and where she came from too. Yeah.

And coming out of all that, it's just kind of amazing and talking about, like, how she had to, like, forgive her mother and, like, stuff or whatever her upro. Like, it was just, like, her story is just incredible. And I just absolutely. So check that out if you want more on her whole deal. And with Jane Fonda in this article about her not doing positive surgery anymore, she was talking about her role models.

She said that people who tend to really show up for me and whom I show up for are my women friends. I grew up in the 50s and on top of that, my mother killed herself. So I totally identified with men, which meant rugged individualism. So it was very hard for me to overcome that. And just talking about opening up herself

to accepting a community of women around her rather than seeing it as something that you should knock each other down and compete with like cats, which is what she thought women were supposed to. to do for a really long time. And of course, talking about cats, the musical when they all are trying to get to that. Oh my God,

they want to get to the heavy side layer and they got to sing about their memories and you can't let them tap dance on the railroads. Guys, it's time for the list. Oh, who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list.

We are talking about today, guys, 37, well, we're not going to do all 37. Celebrity couples, you won't believe. We believe we're once together. Now, this started out because I had opened up this list, and it is, I completely forgot. You remember, Ann Hesch? Oh, yeah. Yes.

I thought that she was just the Beesneys, and I don't know. She's still married to Harrison Ford. Wasn't she with Harrison Ford? She was, and also with Ellen. No, Allie McBeal. No, she's with Ellen. So that's why Anne Hesh and Ellen DeGeneres is the first of the list. So you don't even need the list, Molly.

You remember that one. I am the list. I love that Alanis Morissette and Dave Cooleyer are on this list. As if we all don't know that the song you ought to know is based on their relationship. That's like the one thing everyone knows about both Alanis Morset and Dave Cooleyer. It is what you know. I mean, anytime you hear it's like Alainis Mawritson, remember the Dave Cullier thing? That's about Dave Cooleyer.

Remember snails scratched down his back from that? Cut it out. And what about Britney Spears and Colin Farrell? This is one. I don't know that one. I saw a picture of the two of them together on this list, and it is when Colin Farrell had the spiky jelled up hair, and I remember this specifically,

because I remember cutting out his face up and around the spiky hair to put onto my, like, sexy journals, you know, when you, like, put all the pictures of boys and girls you want to sleep with on a journal. What year was this? Were you in high school or college? I was in middle school. I was in middle school.

Was Colin Farrell popular by the time we were in middle school? I guess that, yeah. Or maybe I was, maybe. Maybe I was in high school. I did it for a while. Because Brittany was popular when we were in middle school. It was definitely high school, Jackie. She would have been too young for Colin Farrell at that point.

You were definitely in high school. So it would have been later. I love how earlier it was like, oh yeah, back in high school, I really threw down. I got crazy. And then we see the reality. And then I cut to like Jackie cutting out Colin Farrell. Cutting out. I hope Charles calls.

me, you know what I mean, or whatever his name was. But it's both. I think the kids are getting all fucked up and cutting out pictures from Tiger Beat and putting them on their wall. I mean, I was doing a lot of drugs at the time while doing it. In fact, I remember specifically doing lines off of said journals. So really, I mean, I did that. I just was, you know, doing too many drugs and screw it up too much to get anybody. No longer a girl, not quite a woman.

And that's what I'm at the crossroads, so you won't be boneless. You were at the concert. Yeah. You will be boneless. I remember at the time this was a big thing for me because Alexis Bladell and Milo Ventimiglio were dating while. So we're talking Rory and Jess from Gilmore Girls. And at the time, I lost my mind because I always wanted her to be with Jess. And then she was with Jess in real life.

So it's like, isn't that even better? Spoiler alert, they don't stay together in this. the show. I'm sure I have complained that one of my best friends in high school would always tell me that I look like Alexis Bledell and I found it to be like an annoying thing to say for some reason, even though she is very pretty. She's gorgeous. You know what? It's the eyes. I see the eyes. Yeah, but she, I always thought her, I found her to be kind of annoying, but maybe I was just a hater. I definitely was a hater. You're such a hater, Molly. Yeah. But you have like a chill energy. You're such an Aquarius. Oh my God, you're such an Aquarius. And I don't know if he's, you're just a quarius. And I don't

know if either one of them are Aquarii, but Drew Barrymore and David Arquette dated. I remember that. I remember that. I, um, I was really into David Arquette, so I was also against Dated Drew Barrymore at this point in time. Tell me what it's like to be into David Arquette. I know what it is. I don't understand how that could happen. It's Deputy Dewey. What are you talking about? Yeah, I know. I know. Yeah, I think that actually doesn't help. What do you mean? I mean, he's so, like, he's one of those celebrities that I've never even quite understood how he even ever had, like, sex icon status whatsoever. Jackie looks incensed. Okay, Jamie Kennedy.

I know, I know. Let us not. But I've admitted I'm wrong. Yeah, admit you're wrong. I won't. I'll never do it. I've been rewit. I mean, rewatching the screen movies.

I get when Courtney Cox fell in love with him. I get it. I, the only takeaway from watching the screen movies now is that I was wrong to like Jamie Kennedy. It's wrong to like David Arquette. The only person to like is Skeet Ulrich. And Matthew Lillard, both of them. Yeah.

I mean, yeah, fucking our skeet, skeet, baby, skit. This is a fun one that I forgot about. Or I actually don't think I knew about Michael Keaton and Courtney Cox. In a 1995 cover story for people, Courtney Cox is quoted as saying of her relationship with Michael Keaton. it's the most important relationship I've ever had and he is the most wonderful person I've ever met. At the time, the couple of over five years

had only parted a few months earlier and based on the interview with people, there was anything but bad blood between them. Five. She downgraded when she went to David Arquette. Well, yes, I will. I mean, yes, yes, yeah, that is true. That's like a big step down.

And that's post-Batman Michael Keaton. I mean, I would still. get with Michael Keaton, but that's just, you know. That's just me. I'm just crazy, so. No, I would get with Michael Keaton more now, even then. I'd watch him climb a chimney. I don't know. I got nothing.

I just imagine, imagine you just like getting hard while he's struggling to get up a chimney. You're almost on the roof. You're a great job, Michael. Oh, my God. Talk about I'd watch this tape. Kiefer Sutherland and Julia Roberts, but like we're talking early 90s. I would watch it, but I've always found Kiefer Sutherland to be a bit goofy looking too. Watch the Lost Boys again.

And then watch the Three Musketeers, because I always was, I never knew if I wanted more Kiefer Sutherland or Oliver Platton, the Three Musketeers. And I know that I bring up that often, but I still feel that way and you can never take it from me. I think that we have to stop because there's 37 of them. I'll just keep... Owen Wilson and Cheryl Crow. Let's just keep going, though. Ryan Gossley and Sandra Bullock. Oh, my...

Another one I'd watch that. Tom Cruise and Cher? Really? Yeah. You haven't even looked at your own list. No, I never look at the list. I like to be surprised. Johnny Depp and Ellen Barkin.

Yaw. Yah. Yoss. Rihanna and Shailaboof? I got to say, Jackie. This is the best list. list. This is a fantastic list. I'm not, I'm going to not finish the sentence about how long it's been since we've had this

going to list. Thank you. But it's a really, really, really, really good list. It was, I will say, it was inspired by nerdy-urdy, our Twitch, our Twitch friend, and she had sent one, and then I found this one as well. So thank you for the inspiration. Janet Jackson and Matthew McConaughey. What?

Wow. It was a great list. I suggest we make this a two-parter. I know. Should I stop? Yeah, should we do more of this one next week? This is a great list. This is a great list.

All right, we'll come back to it. Oh, my God. All right, yeah, we'll come back to it. Oh, the horrors. Don't look at number 30. You'll come back. Number 25. Oh, my God.

Mama Mia. Here I come again. Yeah, we'll wait until next week. Okay, all right, fine. We'll come back to it next week, guys. Two-part list. When the absence of light fills your mind, When the clouds cover the sun

What God lives in that space One might ask A pirate's ship can only sail By the blindness of night But what will they ever give their gold To peasants? I don't think that they will I think you have to go and get them

If they want the gold themselves I'm going to say one word right now Okay, what is it? Fuck I think I'm going Blind items Now we can't see them

You can't but I can For your What are they? Gestorfulness Oh Why did you say the what word Fuck? I don't know

I'm just kind of flying off the fucking tooth today Ladies and Jets happen I do not think I slept well Last night Is that what's happening here? I think a little bit It made me a little batty

Okay you're a little butty I'm gonna say Before we even get into this love is blind Molly has taken over we were supposed to go to bed at a reasonable hour I think I we were up till three or four in the morning watching what happened if you want to hear Holden and I gush about love is blind you can listen to this but now I have I know so much

more Jackie I know bra I know I mean names now one's name one we call mean girls what are so the other we have nicknames for all of them now too which is great this is we'll go we'll get into it and talk a tank tank girl that's another one Barney because he loves everybody. I think you know what I'm talking about. I love you. I know exactly. You love me. All right. Anyways, you have to watch it. Okay.

The frequent feudor slash host slash wannabe actor doesn't believe in marriage, not because of the past, but because a huge chunk of his divorce income would go up in smoke. He's divorced. Feudor's

a good word because it's more this is a more recent. Nick Cannon. Yes. See, I thought you were talking about love is blind, so I was thinking about the love is blind character. So what is it about Nick Cannon? He's saying, I don't believe in marriage anymore. My mindset has changed. I have done that. I don't like doing things that I'm not good at.

And also, if you jumped out of a plane on time and it did not work out, you would not do it again, would you? I don't think that that's how you can refer to marriage. But, you know, that's fine. I mean, I don't think that that's the same thing. I barely survived. Why would I jump out of the plane again? I mean, as discussed earlier in the show, he did get kind of screwed. I'm trying to fix myself.

I'm trying to be the best me that I can be, the best dad that I can be, the best entrepreneur and social, and young media mogul that I can be. So I'm really just focused on me and being the best because for some reason I haven't gotten this relationship thing right. I'm not good at it. I don't like doing stuff that I'm not good at. I also, it's very sad when famous people identify as entrepreneurs to me, like when they're not entrepreneurs, you know,

but they're just like, I'm an actor, but I'm also an entrepreneur. It's like, no, you're just Nick Cannon, man. You just host America's got talent and it's fine. It's all right. No, he's a business man. Yes. Yeah, it's apparently, though, this is all bullshit. It's just because he wouldn't get that sweet, sweet divorce money.

There was a, I mean, he got, there's a lot of money there. I don't, I can't, I just think of Nick Cannon as a little boy who married. and Mariah Carey. And I just feel like he is like the best at making himself look terrible. Every time we have, he just is so pathetic. Like everything, the feud quote unquote with Eminem just lately is just like, dude, just stop. He just seems, yeah, he just feels like, he feels out of his element.

He seems very, like, and he was, he's younger. It's not just that he's younger than Mariah Carey, but he just seems like, yeah, he just seems like he's, he's not keeping up. He's out of his element. Yeah, he's the goofy, like, friend. zone guy that you knew in high school. That was me, by the way. Which is good, because he won't marry you and everyone

needs to remember that. So forget about it, Molly. I can't marry Nick Cannon. Well, I hope that you're not too, your soul isn't too devoured to move on to the next blind item. Ooh, what's it going to be? This A-list celebrity offspring

slash singer slash actress. She's celebrity offspring. She is also a singer and she's also an actress but mostly a singer. Disrespect a female stripper she hired by assuming the stripper would want to have sex with her because she is famous. When a stripper didn't, the offspring was not nice. Miley?

That's right. Wow, Molly, you're really throwing a Miley. Wait, who is it? Miley Cyrus. Oh, well, that's not nice, Miley Cyrus. Don't be like that. You're being mean, Miley. Well, I don't know what's going on with her.

She seems like she's having issues. I'm like Team Miley, but I also, this just sounds like some. something she would do. Yeah, 100%. That's why I chose it. I was like, well, this one isn't too intense, but it's so much of it's so sad, guys. Yeah, I do feel, maybe also because Nick Cannon

became famous when he was really young, and Miley Cyrus became famous when she was really young. Maybe I should extend my empathy that I feel towards Beaver to both of them. There you go. We could all live in a better world. Yeah. If Molly would show a bit more empathy.

If Molly could just change, I think things would really be better. Me? I'm fine with my fuck-you attitude, to my shitty mean eyes. Okay, last one. Molly, I'm looking at you for the hat trick, all right. Three for three. Three for three.

This A-list actress always seems down to earth and not someone who would go out of her way to ask for things. On the set of movies, even her franchise, she is less likely to ask for things. But on her most recent television show, there had to be a foot masseuse on standby and a fully functioning Starbucks for her to use. and for her use only. Goop? No, you failed. Your hat trick has failed. Oh, that was, I was giving it to you.

Movie star who also has a TV franchise or a TV show at a franchise house. We've talked about her recently because she sparked a fun new friendship with a celebrity. Reese Witherspoon? Yes, and. Wow! Okay. Hadrick. Oh, man.

Jackie's back and you better watch out. That was not a hat trick. Wow, wow, wow. B. Bang, bang, bang. Bug, bug. I am the best. I am the best. She's doing a chicken dance. By the way, no one can see what you're doing.

Yeah, she's just doing a weird chicken person dance. I think the only reason why I stop. Enough. Bieber. Justin Bieber. I'm a cock-a-doodle-douger and you better watch out because I'm pecking on in and I found a trail of seed. to the champion circle.

Editor's note, everything that Jackie just said does not reflect the thoughts and opinions of page seven podcast. Pretty much the only reason why I pulled this one other than it wasn't depressing was because the link for this blind item was just to a gallery of Reese Witherspoon

pictures of her holding Starbucks drinks. And it's like endless. It just goes forever. I like that that's how they're like, no, no, you see it's true. She drinks Starbucks. She does. She's just holding it.

but it is kind of hilarious just how many pictures there are of this one person holding a cup of a starboard. And most of them look like different drinks. Definitely. She's a variety. She tries different. Performer. Isn't that nice though? Yeah.

Yeah. Isn't it lovely that the blind items are done? Isn't it lovely? Yes. Bownless chicken wings are yum. I can't believe that they are. are boneless thugs and harm. How much money did they get paid

to do that? Because it is, I love that lazy bones, like, I ain't changing shit. I love it, he's not changing it. And it saves lazy bones, so he's too lazy to change it. I think he's too stubborn. Now, you know what, I get it, but it depends on how many zeros are on that check, and I'm gonna guess it's a lot. I just, it

makes, it, it warms my heart there was one holdout. Yeah. One of them was just like, fuck, no. Fuck, no. Why? Because of that, because that, to me, they've lost no integrity. They can still, they can do this and still absolutely get all the respect. Right. Yeah. Yeah, who can. Get that money. Get that money. At this point, they're like coolio. It's like you had your moment and just, yeah, do whatever. Do whatever. Sponsor fucking CVS. Who gets shit. I'm gonna dip everybody. I'm gonna dip everybody.

Yeah, baby. Every bony. I'm gonna dip everybody. I'm gonna dip everybody. I'm gonna get it. We love you guys so much. Thank you guys so much for joining us this week on this week's page seven. We've been smiling. We've been crying. And that means nothing has changed. And at least you know that here nothing will ever change. And we will always smile forever and ever from now.

That's scary. I don't like this. This is a fucking black hole sun video? What's going on right now? The chicken woman. I love being. chicky bitchy that's what they're gonna start calling me are you trying to get a deal with buffalo wild wings too jacky you're the you're gonna be the chicken yeah i'm a chicky i'm a chicky bitchy

oh oh you better watch out for her um i don't know guys i don't know man i don't know dude so i don't know we're all having a time it's February you know it's just i'm sorry Molly we can't all be a queer eye I got nothing it's a terrible month you don't have to defend the month the February to me just because it's my birthday month. All right, well, sorry, Molly, that I screwed your February and then I became a chicken and I'm not a lady anymore. I'm not a woman.

I'm a chicken boob. This fuck is happening right now, Jackie. No longer a chicken, not yet a woman. See you at the cross-dress because you're not a woman. See you at the cross-mas because you're not a woman. She turned into a chicken. See it. My name is Jackie Zabrowski.

You can listen to us here on page seven. We've also got pop history for you coming at you every Tuesday. And you can follow me on Instagram. If you want, I'm at Jack That Worm. Jackie just advertised the podcast that they're listening to. My name's Alderman Meadley. I feel like I just got drunk off life. You know, you know, like, all of a sudden, I don't know what I did,

but all of a sudden I'm drunk on life. Twitter. TV, forward slash hold nater. So we do Jack and E's on Friday night at 6 p.m. It's always a party. Come join us. We slam white claws. We hang out. Also, though, more importantly, yo,

let me hit you with this. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcasts. We do weekly bonus episodes. And I'm not going to say every single week because I already said weekly. And it's just like $5 a month. It's just like, oh, we got it? Maybe you're fucking turning into a chicken.

Molly's got to feed her babies. Oh, God. Molly's turned into a chicken house. She's going to raise her chicks. Molly? I am J.K. L.K.L.C. on Instagram. We love you guys. We'll talk to you next week. Bye.

Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.