Page 7 - Episode 342: #Sliving

Episode Date: February 27, 2020

We wish Paris Hilton a very happy #Sliving birthday and throw a big ole yikes on Tyra Bank's new book. Support us on Patreon for weekly bonus content! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Even though the gods are crazy, even though the stars are blind. If you show me real love, baby, I'll show you mine. I can make it nice or naughty. Be the devil and angel, too. Got a heart and soul and body. Let's see what this love can do. Maybe I'm perfect for you. Oh my God, is that Paris Hilton?

No, it's Jackie Zabrowski. I thought it was a naughty baby. I thought it was a naughty baby at Christmas time, but okay. I remember this. So guys, you're going to hear too much about Paris Hilton today, possibly. We just, even before this, Holden's like, you know, we can just do a pop history on her if you want, because I am upset. I'm upsettingly knee deep. And I forgot about this song, Stars Are Blind.

And I loved it so much because, again, as someone that has always been a deeper voiced pro person, that this was a woman that I could sing along to like a Tony Brack. that had a deeper register, even though Paris Hilton was barely singing. And I always loved this song because it was in my register. Today is going to be a real throwback to the a Otts because it's a, it's a Tyra Banks-Hilton Day. Oh my God. And we have to talk about Model Land. I literally read that entire article.

She wrote a YA book. We'll talk about it. It's a giant Harry Potter ripoff in like the craziest fucking way I've ever seen in my life. But also, you know, Paris Hilton did recently have a birthday party. She's sliving it. It was her hashtag sliving 39th birthday party, but also guys, 39th birthday.

We're like, what happened? We are old. I know. We're old. Also, I feel like sometimes as over the years doing this show, I realized why Jackie and I became friends. And I think it was because, in part,

I also was desperate for other people and songs that had as low a voice as I did when I was growing up. And so I think that is something that we've really bonded over. A thousand percent that it made, even though it doesn't make you an underdog in any way, shape, or form as a girl that dressed, butch most of my life, and still does, and having a deep voice, I was made fun of, and being fat.

I mean, so it's like the trifect of, like, of middle school torment that I was just ripped apart on a daily basis. And now, now we really shine because we're full grown adults and no one can tear us down, But you have talked about how you have been a ruthless bully in the same years that you're trying to say that you were some sort of a victim. It's because I was a victim all those years and then I became a bully and then these had to stop. This is just what we tell the kids. A bully is really insecure on the inside. Only hurt people, hurt people.

That's why we're announcing the page 7 apology tour. That's right. We are going to visit every town where a person currently lives that we need to apologize to for being meaningful. during our middle and high school years. We'll do a full show. Not a bad idea. Dedicated to them. We'll do a whole recap.

Does that mean, wait a second, I don't think it's just middle school and high school. We're doing an apology tour. If we're doing an April Reels tour. Then we have to go to all of our exes. We have to go to family members. That's a separate tour. That's going to be bad.

No, middle school and youth trauma, during which time, by the way, Paris Hilton would have only been just a few years ahead of us in high school. Yes. That is its own. I feel like I can and should apologize for what an extreme hater I was when I was young because I felt so alienated. Molly be haighted.

I was so hatein. But then all of the things that I did when I was old enough to like a little bit take more, take a different kind of responsibility for all the people I wronged in my 20s. Right. But I mean, it's fine because like when you leave the room, Molly, Jackie and I are just like so mean. We're like, why is she like whatever? Oh my God, why is she like a great mom or something? Oh, whatever, yeah. Mom, whatever.

Yeah, and then we just, oh, oh, that, that seltzer water you're drinking right now, Molly, we put a bunch of acid in it. So we're about to get weird, baby. It's going to be like in you. No, there's a dosing seat. In you? I was talking, I brought this up last night. I was over at our dear friends, Marcus and Carolinas. We were talking about shows.

And I was like, I don't understand how they can just watch full season. of TV shows that they don't even really enjoy. You gotta do it sometimes. And I brought up you. I was talking about the two of you. Are you talking about the show you as well? Yes. We did not like you but also did like it.

It's even shitty to talk about because the name is so annoying when you're trying to reference it. Yes, I'm talking about the show you and also you too. This is like my almost two year old child has like when she says, when she means me, she says you, you know? So I'll be like, do you want that? And she'll be like, you. You, you, but she's saying me because that's what it's like when you talk about. Oh my God, Molly, babies on Netflix. What about them?

There's a show called babies on Netflix. Molly doesn't need the show babies on Netflix because Molly has a baby. You are the show babies. What is it? Is it? It's like a six episodes, it's like kind of the science and everything behind babies and how they think. About your connection with babies and how parenting, no matter what gender you are, that it's like just the connection of parents with babies.

Yeah, they did like a test on a gay couple. And they found the same, like in the primary caregiver, they found the same brain alteration that a mother feels when she's doing her thing. Cool, although I totally want to watch that. I think you would definitely be into it. And on the opposite end of babies, guys, I went to Six Flags Magic Mountain this week,

and I feel like we need to talk about it. Okay. Because I forget, Molly, do you like, and Holden. Do you guys like roller coasters? Of course, I've been on a lot. Haven't I not been on a roller coaster with you before? I mean, I don't remember. I don't like, I'm completely over, like, let's just kind of dangle you around.

Yes, no. Really high up. I hate the pirate ship that swings around. And I hate the pirate ship. And I hate the big drops. I'm out on those. Like, give me an old wooden roller coaster. Give me like a cyclone.

Cyclone. We had Wayne's World at Paramounts Carowins in Charlotte, and it had old wood, a dope, big-ass wooden roller coaster called the Hurl. that was awesome. It's like a RICO's Modern Life name. Yeah, totally. It was so good, and you could get a Zippo lighter with a weed leaf on it at the Rock Shop.

Hell, yeah, you can't. I love roller coasters. I totally, I cannot do any, like, teacups or pirateship. Anything that doesn't, that isn't forward moving, I will peek on it, but a roller coaster, I can do it. It's the height thing now. I'm just over, I'm like good on high. Like, heights on a roller coaster I'm cool, I'm into.

Because six flags have. has a good giant drop. Yeah. Oh, really? It has like a big crazy drop. See, I'm all, weirdly enough, Holden, I can't believe we've never talked about this. I'm same's with you.

I will do any spins, any fucking, like, throw me up in there, do whatever. It's the crazy drops that I am very bad. But not a big drop on our roller coaster. No, because I feel like with that, it's so much more fun that just take you way up high because they fuck with you on that and they do the fake drop.

Yeah. And I just always regret it as soon as I'm at the top. I'm like, why did I do? do this. This just speaks to like a deep fear of mine. This isn't fun anymore. I went to a water park in Virginia where one of the water slides is you just stand there in a tube and then the floor just drops out from under you and you just free fall down a tube of water and I loved it. That's kind of cool. Gideon was like, why did you make me do that? That's kind of fun. So, so mad. Weirdly, if I'm on a, if I'm going down a hill, I mean, yeah, it's scary at first,

like the slow going up the hill, the anticipation. It is kind of scary, but in a more thrilling way. And then when you're just rock and going around these curves and up the down these, woo, and even the loop-de-loops on a roller coaster I'm completely into. It's literally just like, we're just going to kind of put your way up high and spin you around. And spin you and see what you do. Yeah, the little spit, like in Coney Island, they have the thing where it's like a Mary go around on us, but you're just dangling on one like wire or two wires connected to like a...

The swings. The swings. I used to like really enjoy that as like a chill thing to do in between roller coasters. And now I'm like, what is the point? I just feel like I'm going to fly off this thing. Yeah. You know? And like, I don't know.

It's just like, yeah. I'm just more in touch with my mortality. That's about, I actually haven't been on a roller coaster in a while because I used to love when I was younger. But for me and Gideon's honeymoon before we could afford to go to New Orleans for our real honeymoon, we went on like a mini honeymoon tour. We both went to New Orleans for our honeymoon. That's cool.

Yeah. I think it's because we're all a bunch of secret drugs. There's a lot of fun stuff to do there for a couple. I know there's great music, there's great food. Really? No oysters me. Yeah, we were fucking ham or the entire time. We're drunk and eating oysters the whole time.

But we went on a mini honeymoon to a water park right at like the summer after we got married. And then it was next to an amusement park. They were like, you know, they were part of the same thing. thing, but it was like you could either go to the water park or the amusement park. And we had a two-day pass. And I was like, this will be great. We'll go to one and then the other. We went to the water park.

And then the second day, both of us were like, we just don't know how as adults we will react to a roller coaster. Like we both have more anxiety now than we used to. Yeah, it's true. Just more in touch with mortality, too, like I said. I mean, just more afraid of death than you once were. So how was it for you, Jackie? Well, and that's the thing. So this specifically Six Flags Magic Mountain is known for its insane.

coasters. There's almost no, because we went on a Monday in the off season. So we were walking on every single ride, but there's no like ambiance. Like it's the opposite of Disneyland where it is just huge like nuts. Coasters. And the thing is, I love coasters. I grew up in like, our family doesn't know how to connect with each other emotionally. So we'd go to theme parks because you don't really have to talk at a theme park. And then your dad made your brother pretend he was handicapped so they could get to the front of the line, go on. very, very upsetting and very embarrassing

and yes, we were forced to do that and it was like we would cry because of it. That's a whole other unpacking. I got a whole other ballgame. I'm going to have to ask you guys about that one later. But this is what the problem was. So Jeff and I show up. It's our anniversary. We're going to go.

We're like, let's go eat candy all day and drink soda all day and go in a bunch of rides. And the first ride that we go up to, I was like, hell yeah, man. Fucking love coasters. I'm a little bit scared, but it's going to be fine. And we're walking up, and it looks just like this coaster, Mantu, that we go on in Bush Gardens in Florida, where your feet are dangling. I was like, hell yeah, I got this, whatever.

We watch the people get on right in front of us, because we walked right up to it. These people get on, they get them all strapped in, and then they lift them so that they are horizontal. Yeah, like Superman. I like those ones. Like Superman, but it's called Tatsu. So your face down these. entire time and I was like I cried through the entire line but it was like in a great way I was so scared and like all the loops when you're facing out and down and then they also had this other coaster

called the Riddler's revenge where you're standing up the entire time there's another it's like they're all these like I haven't been to a theme park with when since the boom since roller coasters got extreme and every coaster is more terrifying than the last and I did them and I felt great I felt like a fucking superhero but I cried through most of them yeah I've only ever been to Six Flags

I've never been to Disney and yeah Six Flags is just like we're here to scare you we are here to fucking give you the coaster treatment where you're gonna you're gonna plunge hundreds of feet and we're not we don't have any fucking cartoon characters around. No, and you don't, and a lot of them you can't see the ride because so this is like built into the mountains. So you can't see the ride. So as you're waiting for it, like, don't know what this is going to be. And then you get on it and two of this ride separately, I guess

they used to be double coasters, but now what they do is they put you on the other track and then you do it again. There was another ride that like I was out of my, my ass was out of the seat the entire time because it wasn't pushed down all the way. And then we got to the stop and I was like, we have to do it again and we're going to do the entire thing again and I'm just like sobbing but like in fun sobbing and I just didn't know it was like do other adults

act like this where in they're at theme parks like I did like I was crying out of fear but also out of fun right but then I thought I looked like it looked like Jeff was beating me on the side like it was not we were having a delightful time but everyone kept looking at me like I was insane because I kept crying

right is that the kind of emotional response I mean, I'm going to go with, if they're as intense as you're making it sound, fucking yeah, dude, absolutely. These were some of the, we've been, the Zabrowski family has been to a lot of Dean Parks. And these were some of the most insane rides I've ever been on. Really? Yes. So I just wanted to throw it out there.

If you guys ever come to L.A. Next time, it is a cheap as fuck to go on a day that there's nobody there. Oh, you just walk on all these, like, I was, my body was exhausted from riding. roller coasters. Right. It was just that intense. That's making me a little jealous because, yeah, I think I've only been doing theme parks as of late.

And I do love that stuff. It is so fun to get lost in a world a little bit, you know? And that's its own beautiful thing, too. Like, I love Disneyland. I love going into all the characters and you're immersed in this like, fantasy time. Yeah, I miss that. I miss that. I miss the like, will you dare to ride, you know what I mean?

Yeah. And I think I will dare. I'm scared. When I, when I chose. to go to the water park two days in a row, I was like, part of it was like, I might have like a little bit of a freak out on a roller coaster, but I think that I, I know I would like it because I used to love it. And it is true that now, when I was in high school, we went to six flat, we had like a physics trip, you know, I don't know if your guys' high school

had the thing where I was like, you got to go to the amusement park, but you like had to figure out, you know, the angles and shit. And like, right before we went, some kid, like, our age, like, died on a roller coaster, like, a week before we were. we went and we were like, whatever. And now, you know, if that happened now, I would be like, get me the fuck. I can't go. Out of here. Well, and that's what scares me so much too,

is that it's not even the dying on roller coasters is that we had taken some hallucinogenics like a couple times before going to Disneyland. And I saw that the Incredibles ride was stuck, but it was stuck upside down. And I looked at that and I was like, that is worse to me than death. How do you, how do you, how do you,

live through that. When we went to Universal last time, one of the last times I was in L.A., we did the Harry Potter World, and there's a Harry Potter ride. It's very much in the dark. You're like strapped into a thing, but it's kind of shaking you around in front of these screens and giving you that weird, surreal optical illusion they can do now where you feel like you're in the thing you're looking at, essentially,

with the angles and stuff they use. But there's also real stuff that was like a real wamping willow and stuff that feels like it's very close to you, but we're like not barely into the ride when just everything goes dark. And we are dangling. Like we are at an angle that sort of, like, if the thing released,

we would fall and we were like pretty high up on this ride. And yeah, Jackie, that fucking sucked. And it was like a little, just a little too long. And then it started up again, but none of the screens were working. So it was like, so, so scary. And I'm just like, get me out of this,

me out of it, you know what I mean? So it was just going like, E, or, you're right, you know what I mean? But like, none of the illusion. So you're just like, I'm on this broken thing now. Get me off of the broken thing. I don't want to hurt myself on the broken thing. So, but then we got to ride it again for immediately,

which was nice. That's great. But at that point, it's just like, well, just get me off of it. Like, I'm done. I did it. The magic is gone. The whole illusion's gone.

And now I'm actually afraid kind of for my life, at least for my legs, which would have probably broken if I was somehow released from the harness, right? But we did ride it again and I actually did enjoy it more the second time. But part of me was like, why am I doing this again? I was just scared for my life. I do do that calculation, like looking at a roller coaster like,

okay, how far would I fall? Right. How quickly would I die? And you would die pretty fast. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like in a water park, you know, certainly there have been terrible accidents that have happened at a water park, but I was less scared because I was like,

well, worst case scenario, I'll probably break my legs. See, I'm more afraid of the water park because I feel like at this point as an adult, you kind of realize like, oh, there's like, I'm like, I'm like, gonna end up like accidentally drinking a lot of piss. Well, that's Jackie's afraid of all the condoms. Use condoms. Use condoms. I don't like it. There's not that much.

There's probably a lot of piss. I've never seen a condom at the water park. So much piss. Some floaters. I'm sure you caught a couple of floters. I've never seen a floater, never seen a condom. Some brown bobs. I'm not afraid.

I'm much more afraid of the abstract idea of like falling off a roller coaster for no reason at all. Then I am. Getting impregnated by a condom in the water park? And a lazy river? And that was another thing that this is the first time I've ever been to. I had just recently hurt my back. And so this is the first time as an adult going to a theme park where I had to think about how I held myself in the seat so I didn't hurt myself. And then I just got off every ride.

I'm like, man, this is why my mom had to sit out on so many fucking rides. She was so scared of it hurting her back. Because what happens if my back gets pulled out again mid-ride? And I'm screaming in horrible pain. and I can't do anything about it. So the first time I wrote the cyclone, I learned a big lesson. Like, you need to ride the cyclone a certain way,

or you will fucking, like, I had a banged up knees. I'm covered in bruises. Yeah, yeah, covered in bruises. That's what I love about the cyclone. The cyclone is actually kind of dangerous. Yeah. Like, you can really get hurt if you're not aware of where your stuff is. And the first time I wrote it, like,

I slammed my knee on a thing because I wasn't really putting my legs in the right position. And, yeah, great. And then there's, really the adrenaline turns up. You're like, oh my God, I'm actually on a thing that wants to physically hurt me. This thing is not designed to take care of us.

I paid six bucks to be hurt. Six bucks is it now up to like $15 a ride? I don't even know, dude. Back in my day, oh, bored, blah, blah, blah, blah, oh, she turned into a turkey again. She did it, she turned into a turkey again. Somebody failed her to wear jiblets with crazy. Because I'm sliving my best life.

It is time to talk about Paris Hilton and her hashtag sliving 39th birthday party. Because talk about another woman that you look at that you're just like, you are sliving your 11-year-old dream. She had an entire hashtag sliving party that was done in the style of Barbie. And I believe that she is, she was supposed to be the Barbie. What I think I love that I never noticed about Paris Hilton is. is her affinity. I know that we made lots of jokes during her cooking show, but that girl always has fingerless gloves on. I think I fucking love it. Yeah, I like, I like that look. I've actually tried that look like at various times in my life, never quite been able to commit to it or to

pull it up. People would just be like, take your gloves up. Right. Why would you wear clothes on your hands? Get comfortable. You're indoors. You don't have to do that anymore. Or do you trying to be like an edgy stand-up comic? Yeah. I mean, I, you know. Kind of. You know what's wrong with women, man? You know what I mean? Like, you're trying to be one of those? Except mine was like a much more tame version

because I had like the fingerless gloves that also had a little mittens that folded over. Right, yeah, the little mittens. See, those are fun. And also hers were sparkly, like silver sparkles to match her really hot dress. So if you're wearing them as an accessory that matches your outfit, go on.

I support you, as Yoda says. She's not the only like very, very, thin, long-limbed person I know. Tell me if I'm wrong. I feel like there is a fashion thing, a very thin, long-limbed people to wear like long, they have like cuffs, like long, fit, like, to like,

is it to elongate their arms? And then they have things that go all the way down so you just see the tips of their finger. And they're trying to seem like slightly evil a little bit. Yeah. Or slightly like a princess, depending on the colors they're wearing.

You're either look like an evil. queen, witch person, or like a, you know, elegant royalty. But it also has always reminded me a little bit of, like, fiefel, you know, like, you're wearing something that's too big for you. Okay, so you're thinking it makes it look like a little... Oh, yeah. Or all the streets are made of cheese. Right. No, I remember that.

I remember the street. So I think that she does do it as a way to elongate her arms because then it looks like her hands are a part of the sleeves as well. So I imagine it's an optical illusion of sorts, because I understand model things. everyone knows that about me. So there's a video that accompanies this that I think everyone should watch. It's a lot of fun. My favorite thing about the video is she clearly can no longer say that's hot.

So she's just replaced it with dope. That's so dope. That's so dope. She probably says that's dope. I want to say about 20 times to 30 times in like a seven-minute video. I mean, at the same time. I say hell yeah after every other phrase in my everyday life. So everybody's got their things.

She also said lit a lot. Well, it was just, that was the only comment she had to make. For most of the things she saw. It wasn't like, oh, I really like how that's laid out. Oh, super cool. The colors on this are great. You know what I mean? But it's just like, that's dope.

And also she just never seems to be enjoying herself fully. Yeah, yeah. She seems like she's very tired. Until she's on the dance floor. And then she enjoys herself on the dance. See, you know what I think it is? is that you saw that spread of edibles. I think the girls just high all the time,

which also more fucking power to you. Yeah, that makes me like her more. For sure. I support that. And I do feel like as a hymen, myself, I do find that like, can we say no hymen? Hyman?

I can't say hymen. Can we say no. Hyman sounds like hymen. Oh, right. I guess it's the thing that breaks. A stone de lion. as I am. Oh, a stone to line.

I will say I can be super quiet and awkward if I'm like super too baked out. But if I'm, if there's music on, I can like, oh, thank God I can just sort of like let go to this. You know what I mean? And then I'm not as like, so that makes sense. Ew.

I'm sorry, the top comment on this, I was looking at an article from the Daily Mail about Paris Hilton's thing. The top comment was, well, that was embarrassing. She is not wifey material. What? Oh. I mean, A, she definitely is fucking wifey material.

She's not, go fuck yourself. I know. Yeah, you're right. She's never going to fucking look your way, idiot. Yeah. What's your name, Jom? Like, it's like some combination of Jeff and Tom. Get out of your stuff.

As Yota would say, I do not approve. I do not support. Yeah, I'm surprised how much I've found myself. thinking about how positively I feel about Peres Hilton since watching that fucking good at cooking video. I really think she might be on a Guy Fierry full 180 turnaround for me. Not that I ever felt super negatively about Parasotan, but I was always just like, oh, nothing.

I feel like I kind of was judgey. Yeah. Oh, she's so dumb. You never want to let you know, the rich girl that's like got it. It's like all so gorgeous. Right. That's got it all. The way that we've all been like socialized to feel like she must be terrible.

Yes, 100%. And now I'm like, she might be really fucking fun. She might be really actually like hilarious. Yes. And at least fun to be around. It looked like those people were happy to hang out with her. Yeah. Like genuinely happy to hang out with her.

And I think that that's really, it seems, that's great. Yeah. And I, is it not though, I know, I don't know exactly the relationship. I know that they used to hang out all the time that Kim, like the Kardashians and Paris Hilton. I know that Kim Kardashian used to be her lackey. But so then is it like a weird thing? celebrity, because I don't understand. Is it a celebrity slap in the face that the

Kardashian showed up and Kim Kardashian was wearing sweats? But they also had the cameras from keeping up with the Kardashians following them to the party. Isn't that like not, not, like even I don't show up in anyone's party wearing sweats? L.A. fashion

is a weird thing. I feel like especially right now. And like there's a bit of a grubby chic going on in my opinion. Like, uh, uh, uh, ripped up. sweatshirt thing that probably still like that costs like thousands of dollars

you know what I mean like that kind of thing it's not quite the ripped jean thing but at the same time then you look at what Heidi Kloom was wearing to the party and she's got like it seems like billowy athlete pants tight pants on with like a v neck kind of thing where it's not it's not like a high

fashion dress but she looks fucking amazing with how she paired it is a chill outfit for her that's not like a slap in the face. You know what I mean? Like she looks great with how she put it together. Yeah, she's old. She's old school though a little bit. So I don't think she'll ever phone it in in a in a hip fashion way at this point. I desperately want someone to just be like, I'm going to make you look like really comfortable but also cool at the same time. Like that's the vibe I've been trying to achieve this whole time.

Yeah, pillow girl. You've already achieved it. You got it, girl. You want to be pillow at leisure pants. I want somebody to do. be like, you're going to look like you just threw it on, but you're also going to look amazing. Make me look like a hot, weighted blanket. Like essentially, like a, like a sexy weighted blanket. You're just in love with your weighted blanket. I love my weighted blanket. I love it.

I'm in love with it. I fucking love it. I have never felt like you are a peddler of weighted blankets. I've never been so pressured before. It's so good because it's not, this is the misconception. It's not hot. The technology, whatever they use. You just feel covered in love.

It is a hug. Do you and Lexi share it or you have your own? Yeah, we have one. We got like a big one for the bed. We got, so yes, we share it. And oh my God, and we do not have to touch it. Snuggle it. They're no snuggling.

Do you, is there, is it, does it end up all bunched up on one side of the bed or no? Because it's weighted. This, I'm going to go ahead and say that everything you're trying to like, the shade you're trying to throw up. my blanket right now, first of all, not appreciated. It's internalized shade at my own blanket. And it's all untrue. No, it does not bunch of up.

You're going to have to put Holden's house on your apology tour, Molly. You better watch out. You better add that. Talk to the blanket. Talk to the blanket. Because the shoes ain't listening. Because the pillows ain't listened. If you guys ever watch Brave Little Toaster?

I totally loved that movie. You have like a sad, your blanket would be just like the blanket, a brave little toaster. Like an emotional sad little blanket. But high as fuck. But us coping with it with just copious amounts of fucking God, Jimmy, is that thing is asleep half the day. I'm in love with it. It is just the greatest.

Everyone needs to get one. It is just like, it is literally, it makes you, it brings you to the womb. It takes you to the womb where we're all screaming to get back to ever since we were ripped from the clutches of it. My fantasy now is a king-sized bed, but maybe my first step is a way to play. A California king dog. Yeah. I want my whole room to be a bed. Again, it's the whole thing you get to

when you're years into a relationship where you're like, how do we sleep at this bed and go full spread eagle and not touch each other? Like, how can we get to that? Yeah, but I'm a cuddlebug. I like to cuddle bug too. We do, I kid.

We still love to snuggle, but it's the thing, I think you get to a point where you're like, cuddle for a little bit, show the love, and then bye. Yeah, I don't even know why because I like cuddling too. I don't know why I want the big ass bed And there's just something about looking at a king's size bed

And being like, I'm about to sleep in that thing You want to get lost in it Yeah You just want to fucking just yeah Like Eminem one said you want to lose yourself in the moment Yes exactly He was singing that about a California king I'm sorry we got

We are so diverted from that sliv life I know I get it I mean technically that is a part of you guys hashtag sliving. So I support you. Killing it, dude. Talk about sparking some motherfucking joy, dog.

Get that fucking blanket up in your life, son, children. I mean, I guess we have to, I mean, the way that, I've never seen anyone peddle a weighted blanket

the way you peddle it. And it makes me want one. All people, all people with weighted blankets are like this. You become one of those people. It's like people, people who do, you know, healthy things for their body

and they're like, have you tried drinking water? But that's like weighted blanket people times like 50. It's just like, do you care about oh, is sleep not the most important fucking thing in your life? Maybe get one.

Also though, just keep in mind, listeners at home and the two of you, you want 20% of your body weight essentially. Uh-huh. But I will say... That's going to be a pretty big one. But I will say Lexi got one

that was more for me, my 20% of my body weight. And she's literally said out loud, I want to get a second one and put it on to shoes once more ways. I just don't, but do you sleep on your back or do you sleep on your stomach? I sleep on my side predominantly, but yeah, sleep on your back, sleep on your stomach, sleep on your fucking dick, dude. I just feel like I'll be crushed to death.

I don't want to be crushed. I know. That was my fear. I was like, oh my God, is that kind of like have an effect to my breathing? No, dude. In fact, of anything, it makes you breathe better. It makes you breathe better. So this is something I want.

want to do. Right now I wake up every hour and a half to feed the baby and I don't, when you talk about weight of a blanket, I just imagine like, like, hoisting the, that's going to be tough. The comforting weight off of me, away from me and like hurling my body out of the bed out of the, out of the womb. It's so hard to get out of bed, dude. The trauma of leaving the womb every hour. And you real cry every time you get out of bed once you get a way to play. She's going to, see, you don't need this in your life. A doctor shows up, slats you on the ass. Not right now. You don't need, you don't need anything. that makes you want to sleep more right now.

And if you really want to up the Annie, you fill up underneath in the saccule of the weight of blanket, just fill it with like some kind of slime, gelatin, something like that to really recreate that womb feel. I saw an advertisement for a CBD pillow, and I was a little bit tempted by that. Ooh, what's that? We've got thousands of microbeads of CBD released right into your face all night.

What? I don't know. I can't. That sounds like snake oil. It's probably snake oil. How is it? Yeah, my question with that is like, okay, where is it coming from? And how does it sustain doing that night after night for, you know what?

Yeah. Is it going to run out at some point? For the 20 years, I'm probably going to have the pillow because I'm going to go ahead and say, I don't get new pillows. I'm bad in it. I know you're supposed to. It's crazy how much we, pun intended, sleep on our, like, bed set up and stuff. You know what I mean?

It's crazy how much we just sort of like don't. it is a third of your life. You've got you got to give it your all. God, we're old. All right, let's stop talking about it. You know who else is giving it their all? John Travolta and Mr. Worldwide's relationship. We have to talk.

We have to talk about the performance that John Travolta joined Mr. Worldwide Pitbull himself on Premio Lo Noistro. And it would, because you guys remember back in August, we talked about John Travolta being in the music video. for Dend to Three to Tango, which is a great music video. So John Travolta joined him on stage and also during the song, Get Ready, which is just delightful to watch him on stage with all these very attractive dancers around him. He doesn't know the words of the song, but I got to say John Travolta gave it his all. Did you watch the video?

Yes. I watched, it is a six and a half minute video. It is a long performance. He's on stage for a long. That's the weird. That is the funny part with the Travolta thing. It's like John Travol's out here. He does this like dance and then it's like John Travolta's still out here. They switch songs. He clearly has no idea what to do. Pitbull is clearly like guiding him like by grabbing his arm. They clearly haven't even run through this at all. He's like look, this is where we need to turn around

and look at the screen. Yeah. And Pitbull, he's got a lot of, Pitbull's a great performer. He's got a lot of charisma. He really puts on a great show and then John Travolta's just there. Just like a guy who, he does know how to dance but also he kind of has the look of a guy standing next to Pitbull like a guy who's like never really dance a day in his life.

Right. He's a little confused a little bit. He's trying to do the thing. Be cool. But it's like he has a mic in his hand. He has no idea what the lyrics are. It's just such a weird. It's like all they had to do is have him come out during the threesome song that he was in the video for, do a couple of dance moves,

and then let the poor man go. Yeah. You know, like, little John's out there. He's like, you know what I mean? It's terrifying for him. Yeah, yeah. I also feel for Pitbull, honestly. Pitbull's like, now I've got to babysit this guy.

Yeah, I'm like focusing on my own performance. I got John up here. I need you to leave, John. That's why I loved it so much as looking. Because John troubled, I will say, again, like his performance in the fanatic, he's given it a thousand percent. He is up there. It's like, it's not like he's doing, like when we showed that clip of when Kim Kardashian went on the stage when Prince kicked her off stage.

Because she's just like standing up on stage like, well, I'm up here. Now what do I do? So Prince kicks her the fuck off the stage. I'm too embarrassed to dance. But at least John Travolta goes up there and just like, all right. Yeah. Okay. All right.

And this is on top of the fact that I follow John Travolta on all social media platforms. And he's really trying to help his young. youngest son, who I'm going to say is probably 10 or 11, and his TikToks. So he's been doing a lot of TikTok videos with his son. So watching it, like, talk about a man that gives his all to everything he does. Yeah. Interesting response from Molly. Whoa.

Point counterpoint. What's going on? What's your counterpoint to that? I haven't seen John Delt's TikToks. I sat, hearing you describe, How dare you? It makes me feel a little bit skeptical. Because it's just such a like, I don't know.

I just feel like it's like he's just. Are you calling his TikToks a cuckoo clock? His relationship with his kids is weird, Jackie. As you know, because you made me watch that long-ass music video that he did with his daughter. Yes, yeah, yeah. That was a weird one. What was for the movie? The movie, some terrible movie from 2002.

How dare you? You mean from old dogs? Old dogs? Old dogs? Oh, old dogs? How did you, friggin' old dogs? What were you thinking of wild hogs? Same fucking movie, essentially.

Old dogs supposed to be pure trash. Very different. Well, they're both bad movies, though, right? But old dogs is like on another planet, I mean, of badness. Yes. I just feel like it's specifically, I think my skepticism has to do with John Travolta's relationship with his kids. Also, old people being on TikTok, and I know that,

we have been on TikTok. And we have reinstated it. Natalie has reinstated the page 7 TikTok so expect more. We're working on it. But I don't even think we are as embarrassing as John Travolta is. Right, right. Not quite. Close.

Especially because he can see in his face that he thinks he looks sexy, which is pretty cute though. It's like you're on stage too next to Mr. Worldwide. He looks great. Oh no, I'm saying. He looks the best I think he's ever looked. Honestly.

Well, I mean, except for an urban cowboy because he's fucking hot a shit in that. But bad. He's a badman in that. As opposed to a highman. But I guess if we're really going to be talking about things that are maybe not all the person thinks that they could be. What the fuck? You better be about talking about Tyra. Yeah, are we talking about Tyra?

Yeah, we're talking about Tyra. Oh, my God. So I read, okay, so Modaland is a Y-A book that, Tyra Banks seemingly did actually write completely on her own without a ghostwriter. Apparently it gave her alopecia. She was so stressed out about it. And the initial manuscript was a thousand pages long. She claims to have written all of it in a library as well.

I believe she said it took her like five years in a library because again, they were trying so desperately to make her the next J.K. So this is the biggest, like, at first I was like, what is this, what is this YA book? complete nonsense, but very quickly you realize like, oh, she read Harry Potter. She's like, I'll do this but with models. And then none of it makes sense.

And there's this article, this way too long article that Jackie sent to us that I ended up reading all of. It's long. If I'm going down the worm time, y'all gonna go down the worm time with me and I went down to Tyra Banks' worm time. I like Tyra Banks and I like YAA novels.

I don't know if I will like model land. But I do feel like we have read it. Yes. Molly in Model Land, what's her name? Tuki de la Crem. Yes, Tuky Dela Crem, our main character. They just all have drag names. The author of that article was like, they're quirky names.

I was like, they're all drag names. Yeah, yeah. I mean, Tuki De La Crem is a great name. I think the names are amazing. Well, this is definitely a Harry Potter name. Theophilius Love Laces, that is trying to be like a Hermione or something like that. Zarpessa Zaryano

And then you also Have a guy named Guru Macho And also So model land is a weird Mysterious place that everyone Kind of knows about Girls go there to become models

And also to have Superpowers Sometimes I love the way that this dude Wrote this article About the like he loves it But he hates it at the same time Because they are sent to a place

called Model Land Where things exist like which this is really, I think what got me to start the worm time is that in Model Land, you go and immediately all their periods sink up instantly because, you know, girls, the second they are around each other, they immediately start bleeding at the same time. And so they push that part home, but then this magical statue takes their periods away and then, but they can still get pregnant,

They just never have to deal with their periods again in Model Land, which as someone that has suffered from an eating disorder in the past, that's usually what happens when you have an eating disorder. And when in watching it was just like, that's very upsetting. I know. When I read that part, I was like, I mean, it's definitely something that, like, you kind of wish what happened when you're 14 years or. But the reality that it's influenced by is definitely the fact that our pigs most likely... And I'm saying that also happens to people that, you know, that don't have an eating disorder as well.

But I think that just in this specific world, it's interesting how that comes to be. Yeah, especially for Hawaii. I feel like it's tough because on the one hand, I've never been like a moon person. Like, yes, I want to talk about my period and I love it and I embrace it. I've always been like, I wish I didn't have this. But I also feel like it's probably best to like model, to try to model like love and acceptance around it. instead of being like, a little fairy comes and takes it out of your side.

Yeah. I feel like that's probably not the best thing to have little girls wish for when they were reading, when the droves of little girls are reading model land. I mean, then you have the magical powers, though, that are not necessarily, or that may be found potentially problematic.

Camillione, which is the power to change what you look like. Then you have multiplicity that you can make duplicates of yourself. and I love that it's called multiplicity because it's just clearly based on the Michael Keaton movie multiplicity but you are less and less powerful my the word oh this was 30 never is the name of one you never you age to 29

and then you revert back to being 17 and you do that over and over again until you die that's one of the best that sounds like a curse that is a nightmare are you kidding me but even the bigger curse is to think that that would be a blessing Oh my God, this book is such a wonderful escape for my reality. I could just, in this book, I could just never be 30.

That's when your breasts get bad. No, that's when everything gets great. I know. That's the other thing, too. I'm like, I've never been more happy than in my 30s, which is the funniest thing about all of this. Excite to buy, which makes everyone around you excited to buy things. Not the stuff that you're selling necessarily.

just to buy things. And seduction, which of course is guys want to have sex with you. Well, and we forgot the most important part about this YA novel, which is that it is also a place in a mall in California. It is a theme park. They are just opening up Model Land. Yeah, so she's opening. Is Model Land going to be like Harry Potter World?

Is it going to be based on the book at this point? Or is she just calling Modeland, whatever, it's just like a one-neutral. to want. Everything she makes is called modeling. Like I actually honestly was not as into this concept of her having a theme park attached to a mall. But if it's going to be based on this fucking bat shit insane Harry Potter model knockoff, I actually would be down to go.

That's the thing. You know, because I want a talking statue to take away my period. And like, could you fathom it? Could you imagine? It sounds like it's almost like a build a bear situation. but like for, but not, I don't know what you're building, but it's like not really a theme park, it sounds like as much as just a kind of like immersive shopping experience.

Right. Like a Jackie, do you ever go to that store? It was a very odds show. That store that was in the mall when we were young that was called Club Libby Lou. No, I think I was too fat to be allowed into those. Yeah, I remember that. She's like Hollister.

I thought I was scared I would like burn to death if I walked into a Hollister. Well, Hollister was cool. Club Libby Lou was for like 12. year olds who liked beads and stuff. It was like very turquoise and purple. You should have seen all of the bead animals I used to make. I made so many bead key chains of like lizards and stuff like that.

You never got into the bead world? I had beads. I went to... I had beets. The bead world. God damn. But I had different beads. We went to like the, this was in like seventh grade.

I went to like the stoner, like, hide-dice shop and I had learned how to like make hemp necklaces and I got beads there like Grateful Dead beads even though I didn't even ever have listened to the Grateful Dead You rebel I had a Grateful Dead hacky sack. Yes, they sold hacky sack to this place too. It was that type of place. But Club Lobulo was like the oh how do I like for girls who were like 13 and still wearing like turquoise leggings and like big like my best friend loved this store and whenever

we were at the mall. They didn't have one in our hometown mall. But it was just like, like, like sparkles. It was like a Lisa Frank store in store form, you know? It was like if Lisa Frank was a store. I mean, that sounds amazing. It was we, my friends loved it. My friend in particular, it was like her exact style. And we would like rag on her about it. But it was also like very cute and sweet. But it was like a, it was like a store, but it was an experience. It was just like a fun girl experience. And that's what I feel like model land. a theme park is. It's not really a theme park as much as it is just like

a place for girls. It is what it seems like because as Tyra Banks refers to it, it says, imagine a place that's full of fierce and fantasy. Photoshoots and runways, storytelling, and theater. A place that celebrates

beauty and you. And is not a movement. It's a revolution. An uprising. It sounds like a she's running for president. It's not a

movement. It's a revelation. Essentially, which is nuts, there are three different ticket pricing that you

can purchase to go to model in that again is inside of a mall. It includes the general access, then

there's Fantasine Photoshoot, and then Fantasine Dream. The general access costs $59

and includes a fierce digital look book, an immersive theater, where you are a part of the show, access to experiential closets, posing tips and custom lighting.

All right. So it's more than a store. It is an experience. But is it a revolution? But it's not a revolution? I'm looking at our current political candidates here in this next election. I think she's actually going to revolutionize the way we work as a country. Right in Tyra Banks.

But guys. Team Tyra. For only $549, you can get the Fantasine photo shoot, which includes fierce photos, makeup and hairsty, hairstyling, as well as tasty, indulgent treats. I need to know what the meal situation is. She keeps talking about how you're going to have, like, exciting food at this place, and I just want to know what the portions are. I'm very afraid about the meal part.

Right? I'm really curious about the meal part. Really, really worried about the meal part. So it's like a, it's real, I keep trying to find the right analogy, like an American Girl doll store. But instead of getting an American Girl doll, you're getting like a complex about your body. And you're getting a photograph of yourself. Oh my God. Is it just like life size?

Is that what this is? Is it like live the life of, remember the movie Life Size with her and Lindsay Loanne? Yes. Where she was the Barbie doll that becomes a real life model, but she's also Tyra Banks. Yes. It sounds like that is what this is. Oh my God. But I just hope that it has, like, the nurses with roller skates for feet that appear in the book model land.

Which is a thing. And there's so many things like we didn't even talk about when it comes to the YA book of, like, of what's, which, by the way, they call them purse. For no reason. Instead of nurses. They call them purses. There's so much crazy shit in the book. Also for some reason that Mauna land has elevators that travel sideways

and showers that shoot out desserts Candies and things Oh, that sounds fun Yeah, that could be fun But what I guess? If I'm taking a shower What are you gonna do? Cover me in chocolate sauce and be like, oh, she's done!

Doesn't sound like a real shower It sounds like one of those Like a Chucky Cheese How you go in and you get the tickets. Well, I will say though There is a tragic tale in this book About a boy named Bravo who's so beautiful that no one takes him seriously.

They won't listen to his thoughts, his words, because he looks so good that when he was at a concert, the orchestra conductor stopped the concert and wrote an entire orchestra for him because of how beautiful he was. But no one will hear his words. Don't you feel terrible for that boy?

I can't decide whether I am more, excited about the Y-A novel, which I probably will be able to read. I think I have to read it. Or whether I'm more excited to go to L.A. And go to, is it in L.A.? It's in California. Of course it is. Yeah, it's in San Monica.

Of course it is. So we have to, when I eventually make it to L.A., you know that we got to go. Right. But that was the thing is that between this and the Britney zone, which is I think that I have, I can't remember if we've ever actually talked about the Britney zone, which is just the Britney Spears zone that is being set up that you can take pictures inside of these quote unquote sets of all of her music videos. But again, is it worth $60 to take a picture? I don't think it is. I don't think I would, I want to do it for the jollies, but $60 is a lot

for jollies. Is the candy, is like how much of the experience do we get for $60? Do we get to go in the candy shower? I don't think you get any candy shower. That'd be disgusting, though. You're just covered in, like, stickiness for the rest of the time. I think shower is the wrong word. I think the urine and cum at a water park when you're in the Lansing River. There's no way that we're actually taking our clothes off and getting in the shower. I think it's just probably a stall where shit falls on you and they're calling in a shower.

What is it cloudy with a chance of meatballs? Not even the chance of fucking starbursts or whatever. My favorite, too, was the explanation. This is so, which is why I feel like this is what most of the book is. When they talked about, so apparently her father, Chris De La Crem, has lost an eye and how did he lose said eye? Let me just give you the shortcut reason because he was doing an acrobat because he's an acrobat. He's just in the circus. And then his wife, because he's in the circus.

And then his wife. She was checking her makeup. Yes, was checking her makeup because she is very into her looks. And then the light catches in the mirror when she was checking her makeup. And it goes into his eye. and he falls from a dramatic place. This is not how he loses his eye. He lands, he lands on his feet, everything's fine, everybody cheers,

and as he's going around giving exaggerated bows, because everyone's so happy that he didn't die, he bows, he bows into a sword. I'll finish this, and takes his eye out. This is, yeah. There is a, there is, have either of you guys seen Jondelani in the sacklod? bunch yet?

Not yet. No, not. There is a musical, it's like a musical sketch show for kids, but there's a musical member in it by a guy who the whole song is about how he, you should learn algebra. He doesn't have an eye, and it's like, if you don't learn algebra, you'll lose your eye like me, and this is how algebra, how not knowing algebra led me to lose my eye. But the whole song is about, like, all these things that, like, could have led him up to him losing an eye, and he still doesn't lose it, and then he, like, lose it at the end in a totally

different way. I feel like this is exactly. That's exactly what it is. Maybe John Mulaney read Model Land. I can expound upon that. Like, let's take it one step further. I have to read it. And guys, if you have read Model Land, please let us know and let us know what your favorite part was because I think I have to.

This, I think, is even better than the Jenner's weird upside down Cloud Y.A. Jesus, I forgot about the Jenner's Y.A. novel, which I have not read. But I think I'll read Model Lenn. If you guys want to start a book club, we can do it. Sure. I would love it. I think that this is something that, you know what? I think it's important for the next generation.

I think that we have to do this. I do enjoy the fact that Tyra Banks, her quote about it is just, I just want people to be entertained. My mission for the book is expanding the definition of beauty, which I don't understand how, but maybe we will. When people read Model Lans, I want them to know that I see their beauty. I want them to understand just how beautiful they are. in their uniqueness, which I don't know. I love America's next top model, but we all know that it's not the most,

like, you still have to be really hot. Like, this is, like, her world still revolves around people that are really hot, and maybe I'm wrong in just assuming that. Tyra Banks is insane. I love Tyra Banks. I used to watch her show, her daytime talk show, every day.

Yeah. But she... Remember the time when she pretended she had rabies? Yes. Remember the time that she put on a fat suit? Remember the time that she pretended to be street homeless. Like, Tyra is insane.

Tyra is an insane person. She is absolutely not trustworthy. Nothing is trustworthy in the hands of Tyra. Which is why I want to go to Modaland because it's going to be absolutely, it's going to be bananas. Something insane is going to happen. Yeah, it would be nuts. And it does make sense too because I love going back to this article about

Model Land when they're like, you know that Tyra Banks wrote this because if you were a ghost writer and you turned in a manuscript that remotely resembled Model Land, you'd be fired in me. Which she's a celebrity. She can do whatever the hell she wants. So I'm excited and I think that as an experiment, let's all read it. If you're listening to this, you should read it too. Let's have a weird, let's follow

back around with this. I'm actually going to read it. It's going to be agonizing to read. It's going to be so poorly written. But now I mean, we talked to it last week but we're getting back into the list. Oh! Who's on the list? Checking. Gotta have that list.

Yeah, we're still going down the rabbit hole of celebrities that we forgot were together because there's just so many on this list like Kim Kardashian and Nick Cannon, which... What, dude. Yeah, I didn't know. We've never done this with a list in the whole history of the show. It is ridiculous. Reality TV star and social media force Kim Kardashian dated Nick Cannon in 2006. Apparently, it was Kim's sex tape with Ray J that was the nail in the coffin on their brief romance.

You know, I never really did think Nick Cannon was cute, but in this picture, he is cute. He is cute in this picture. I think he's, I think it's more just his, um, his like need to feud and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, it's when he opens his mouth. It's when he, he carries himself. Yeah. That's when he looks foolish. So still image, you're like, that is an attractive man.

And then he's just like, I can't get married again because Mariah said, you know what I mean? That's when it's, that's, that's, it's. They keep embarrassing me. It's very upsetting. Also, speaking of Tyra Banks, seal and Tyra Banks dated for a little bit in 1996. I guess it was pre-Hydie Kloom. And, you know, I guess they kept a very low profile while they were dating. I didn't know that either.

He likes models. He does well for him. Interesting taste. Models, huh? You know what? I think I get it. Uh-oh, I guess this is how we talk about friends coming back because Jennifer Anderson and Paul Rudd dated. and I would have died to watch that tape, especially at the time.

They're cute. 69 would be like, wow. Wowie, Maui. Did you ever see the object of my affection that was the movie that they were in together? Yes. Oh, my God, yes. More like the object of my erection. Am I right?

No, it's all dead. Me. I was completely in love with Paul Rudd for a very long time. You know what? He still looks amazing. He's just, my, my tastes have changed in time. I would drink a cup of Waterpark Pistwater just for one date with Jennifer Aniston. Your tastes have changed and Paul Rudd has stayed the exact same.

Yes. Both of them have though. Jennifer Aniston looks even better than she used to. Like it's nuts. They're both in this weird time warp. Like this picture could have been taken last week of both of them. They really could have. They look amazing.

Yeah. Also two people that still look amazing, Kiefer, Sutherland, and Julia Roberts, which that was the time that was a little bit after steel magnolias, which I mean, we know all about after what, listen to pop history this week. But this was during the time of flatliners. So I was really excited because while we were doing our steel magnolia's research, I saw a picture of Julia Roberts and Oliver Platt at one of the Steel Magnolia's premieres. And I got, I was like, oh my God, did they date? But of course not. They didn't date. I would date you, Oliver Platt, I'll still date you.

Come get me. But I would, but Kiefer Sutherland, Julia Roberts, hachi-machi, fucking slick. My eyebrows in this couple. Yeah. Oh, yeah, oh, man. Eyebrow power couple. A lot of hair in this couple.

Owen Wilson and Cheryl Crowe. Wow. I think I might like it. Yeah, I mean, I do like it. Yeah, I think I'm down. I just like love, I wish you would write with West Anderson again because I just loved all of their collabos on that stuff. And Cheryl Crow is Cheryl Crow.

Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? More like Cheryl, no. I don't know. No, Cheryl, yes. I don't know. 20 feet from stardom.

Cheryl Crow is Cheryl yes. I wanted to be catty for like two seconds. Well, we're taking your catiness away. What I don't like is that Cheryl Crow had opened up about her struggles in past relationships and she had told good housekeeping, what ends up happening is that one of you become smaller and it was always me. And that's not fair. That's not fair.

Owen. Because I love Cheryl Crowe. Yeah, I'd take Cheryl Crow over Owen Wilson. I'll say it. Yeah, me too. Oh, man. I forget if we talked about this last week, or if this was the reason why I wanted to keep talking about this list.

Johnny Depp and Ellen Barkin, which, yes, please. This was in 1994, so that was, I mean, the heyday for both of them. But she's wearing this little tight, gold amazing dress in this picture. And, but apparently they, this was before they did Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas together. But another tape I would have watched until you would. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I got to say, I've never really felt it for Johnny Depp, but looking at this picture, I get it. And then early night he's Johnny Depp.

So you've never had pirate fantasies or anything like that. You never thought of a scallywag bursting into your shanty cabin or whatever. He's a greasy boy. And I love greasy boys, but he's just. I love greasy boys. See, that's what it was. It was always what's eating Gilbert Grape and Benny and June. That was my wheelhouse of Johnny Depp lick.

Yeah. But what about Ryan Gosling and Sandra Bullock? They were just babies when they dated. I have a hard time seeing that. Yeah, me too. That's a little off for me. I don't know. Why?

I think it was one of those things, too, where when you get to that famous, that quickly, Although Sandra Bulk was already like, you know, bones. Yeah, I feel like how famous she was. Must have been way bigger than Gosling at the time that they were dating. Yeah, I feel like he's a tiny little boy, and she's like a powerful woman. Powerful, powerful woman. And he's like, I'm for the Mickey Mouse Club. Right.

She's just like, fucking learn how to fucking shovel the drive. She's like, I'm from 35 romantic comedies. While You Were Sleeping is still a phenomenal movie, although it is a little weird when it comes to the consent, and actually I think that maybe she was a bit of a stalker, but that's all right. I still love that movie. You ever see while you were sleeping?

No, what's the premise? I've seen almost every Sandra Bullock movie. Right. So it's Bill Pullman is the, I forget the dude that plays the one that is in a coma, and she's like a, she works at a, I believe she takes subway tokens, and she sees this hot dude every day go to work. and he falls in the track, she saves him, and he goes into a coma,

and then she claims to be his fiance. So while he's in the coma, she falls in love with his brother who is played by Bill Pullman. Oh. And then she has to tell everyone, oh, we're actually not engaged, but I'm in love with you now.

That's like restraining order. Yeah. But so many 90s romantic comedies were just about, like, absolutely toxic behavior. Completely insane. So perhaps it's, It's feminist to have it just be a toxic woman instead of a toxic man. I loved it growing up.

I always wish that would happen to me. I was like, I'll pretend to be someone's fiance. Am I crazy? Sandra Bullock's weird. The weird thing about Sandra Bullock romantic comedy from the 90s is that she's always playing like the losers. She's like kind of a proto Bridget Jones figure. Yeah, yeah.

Like there's another one, nine days. Nine days. I don't know. Number nine isn't it? But it's just like about her being like a big loser. And it, you know, she's obviously very hot. Love potion number nine. Oh, I loved love potion number nine.

Is that the one you're talking about? I don't know if that's the one I'm talking about. Oh, now Chase. That is the one where she's like a nerd nerd, then she drinks the potion. There's love post number nine. Are you talking about 28 days? Is that center of a look in that? Yeah.

Yeah, she's in that. A big city newspaper columnist is forced to enter a drug and alcohol rehab center after ruining your sister's wedding. Yes, this is the one. Cratching a stolen levizine. What the fuck? I'd have the wrong number. I apologize.

28 and 9? You were way up. Nine days, not a movie. 28 days, a movie. Absolutely a movie. Well, she did a lot of the very simple, although that one was a little bit more of a drum. But, you know, especially, we've talked about this before. It's like practical magic.

This entire, all of Sandra Bullock, I was so in, I just wanted to be Sandra Bullock so much. I wanted her to love me. She's just like all of us. That's why. She's just like you and me. Can you imagine looking that good, like, especially like she's in thick. She's in her 50s now. She looks way better than I ever will and I ever have.

You know. You're beautiful. You aren't you're not in your 50s yet. Maybe you're not. Sandra Bullock beautiful. Maybe you'll, maybe you're going to look better than Sandra Bullock in your 50s. Do you think I, oh my God, I guess I have to start training?

Do I have to stop eating chicken wings? Don't worry. Just talk to the magical statue and stop eating. Oh, my God. I'll go to Model Land. I'll spend $1,500 to get my VIP access pass to Model Land, and then everything's going to be great. You no longer have to have blood every month, but you must only eat one crack or a day. Is that why?

Is the IUD very similar then to the... Because I also don't have my blood. Maybe that's what the magical statue is. It just lives inside me. now. Interesting. It's a magical statue of an IUD. Man, I hate this conversation.

Edward Norton and Courtney love. Now that's not a match made in him. Everything. But now, but no, but here, now I actually have heard everything. I didn't know that. Edward Norton for decades, he was my number one celebrity crush. Oh, my God, me too. I was just talking about this to Jeff because we were talking about American history.

and I was like, I've seen American History X way too many times. He looked at me like I was an insane person. He's like, why? And it's like, I thought, I felt guilty because I thought Edward Norton looks so hot in that movie. I agree. I agree. He was a horrible person, but he looked so hot in the movie. And this is how, like, serial killers still get girlfriends in prison.

It is quite possible to love Edward Norton in that movie before he takes off his shirt and you see the big swastika tattoo. And then you like him for being Edward Norton, not for being that character. Right. But it has the redemption arc. Yeah, he changes. He's a good character. I actually was just thinking I want to rewatch American Strix. But the entirety of Edward Norton's acting catalog, I would rent every single movie that

Edward Norton was in. Just watch Death to Smoochie again. I loved Death to Smoochie, and I hate that that was not successful for, like, I thought it was so good. Great cast. It's for people like us. Always rewatch it. It's the best.

but I think it's time I think it's darker in here than usual it's perfectly bright oh is it fine oh I guess I'm just hashtag sliving my best life sorry oh wait actually Oh my god

Has the crow Scrod a screech of Sightlythes? And you're giving the garbage for my I'm not finished I'm not finished with it It's going to get really good. You just got to give me a second to let it get good.

Yeah. Oh, man. It's just hard to look right now at stuff. And I'm not sure why. I don't know. Maybe I, that rhymed, am going blind. Items. We can't see them.

Did we? I don't know. It was very off today. It was, that's okay. We are still going. I was a little off today I just want to apologize to the listeners at home

I want to apologize to Jackie I want to apologize to Jackie I want to apologize to Molly I want to apologize to the inanimate objects in this fucking room chairs and shit yeah well did you know

that Rihanna and Shaila Buff dated too there's still so many more on this list I mean honestly there are like a lot more on that list

it's such a good list all right this is some good blind items though for you feast and desire them the A list singer slash actor is still spending like crazy to rehabilitate his image.

Paps for the family stroll. Apparently his wife didn't know they were invited and wasn't happy. The wife is very mad at him right now probably because of an incident that happened with him. More of a singer than an actor. Justin Timberlake. Absolutely. Jessica Beale after a publicity tour for the new movie, Trolls World Tour, Timberlake and Beale were spotted out in NYC with their four-year-old. son who looked miserable.

I'm going to show Molly the picture. Happy in the picture they are. But there's also like a video which I hated watching because I always hate watching those like creepy paparazzi videos of celebrities. And Beal definitely does not look. Look how staged this picture looks. And look how miserable the son looks. He's so miserable.

Look, Justini Lake just described to Jackie and the listeners, has his arm around Beale. They're both smiling. He's carrying the stroller. And I feel like you can't, this can't not be opposed. It's definitely like, we're not fighting. This is so unnatural looking. We're good.

Yeah. But if you look at the video, they look like Beale looks actively miserable and frustrated. Oh, I'm looking at the image right now. Doesn't it look so staged? Yeah. Who walks like that? Like no one. It's just got to be so hard because right now they're just being so swamped by all this shit where they're like, are they together?

Are they together? Can you imagine being under that kind of microscope and you're like, relationship or he's like, oh, so nothing we do is right. And it has to know, oh, right, even this right now. I just feel like it's just very like, I couldn't imagine paying for staged photos like that, period, right? I mean, I don't think they're paying for it. I think they're just following them anyway, so they just mug for it to give them exactly

what they want. Not what this blind item insinuates, Jacqueline. Whoa. Chris Cross, Zabrowski. Chris Cross. Make you want to jump. Jump. This permanent A-list mostly movie actor, who's.

sometimes directs, hooked up with the former actress turned to escort about 18 months ago. I think the actress turned escorts easier. Lindsay Lohan. Yes. And the actor kind of ruined a franchise a little bit and is a really good director. Ruin a franchise. A little bit. Give us one tiny hint.

Superhero movies that didn't do so hot. Justice League? Maybe. Yeah. Sure. I'll say yes to that because that's the correct. correct answer. I don't know. I was just at six legs and I had to ask who was like, when are Batman and Superman together? And Jeff looked like I slapped him in the face. So,

apparently there, I don't know nothing about this. All right. So which ones that went bad? So let's say the Hulk is bad, right? Wrong. Is that one of them? Maybe it's better than that. And wrong, wrong. Justice Lee is DC. Uh-huh. Right? Yeah. So we're talking about a DC. Think about the biggest DC properties. Uh, Batman. Okay. Ben Affleck. Yes, 100%. And Lindsay Lohan, apparently, Lindsay Lohan has been banging down the door of Affleck right now because she really, really wants the role of Batgirl in the new movie.

She really thinks she's got a shot at it. As source told Australia's NW magazine, she's been blowing up his phone, he's been through the ringer, and always landed on his feet, which she admires. He even actually visited her in rehab back in 2013 to inspire her to get better, but apparently they had sex. And also she recently put out a tweet,

R.T. If I should star in the new Batgirl movie and to everyone tell at Joss, because Joss Whedon is probably directing it. That is so tacky to me. Those Twitter shoutouts to... She did the same thing in trying to become the live action Little Mermaid as well. It's really not working for.

No, I don't get this weird new movement where you just sort of like try to get work by just like harassing people on social media. You don't do the harassment, but at the same time, someone else has to do it for you. Dan Levy did that to become the host of the Canadian Bakeoff, like the Great British Bake Off, but they did the great Canadian bakeoff and he became the host

because he's like, let me do it, let me do it, let me do it. I feel like for that though, that is not a giant comic book movie. That is like something you could actually get by making a big, noise about it. And it still is a little like, all right, but you know what I mean? Like, I feel like it's just a little bit more doable than the lead role in a giant superhero movie. I just don't think that happens on Twitter. Yeah. You know? And also, or somebody does it for you. I mean, even though he didn't get the role that awesome campaign for Donald Glover to be the new Spider-Man. He didn't start that. You know, online people did. And it swirled up and became a whole thing.

That also. That's very different than being like, hey, can I have that job? Give me that job. It's also really just upsetting because right now, too, Ben Affleck is doing the whole publicity rounds of just kept seeing that, like, the divorce with Jennifer Gardner is the biggest mistake in his life. Like, he's very upset about all of it. And it's now like backtracking, backtracking, backtracking, backtracking because I think he realizes now that he's sober again, it seems like he is realizing what he's. lost. Oh, interesting.

Which is very upsetting. That is very upsetting. Thanks for upsetting us, Jackie. You're welcome. That's my job. Last blind item, make it count. Ooh. Ooh.

I preface this with the noise. Ooh. It must be sexy. No, it's not. I feel like I gave you the wrong noise. Here's the noise. It's more like, oh, okay, it's tiny dogs.

Okay. They can say what they like, but the illiterate one is holding firm to no appearances in the UK at all. Her husband will show up, but only if there is not a conflict with a paying gig. Wait, say it again? Yeah, we read it again. She's illiterate, meaning her full name starts with the same letter. All literate. All literate, yeah.

Came up last week, too. Right. And she's not going to be going back to the UK. her husband will, but only if there's not a gig conflicting. Who's two people who left the UK in a big way recently? Oh, here, Megan Mark. Yes, dude, apparently, like, apparently Elizabeth wants Harry and Megan to attend one last event before that happens. Quote, we have heard from the palace that their final engagements as working members,

the royal family will be taking place in early March, a correspondent said, but then now it is apparently being reported that Megamark, is potentially completely snubbing Queen Elizabeth and is not going to ever go back. I don't know what is happening with all this stuff because it is all over the place. It's really crazy. I know that they're just trying to get their lives back

and trying to get their lives back on track. But it's like, this is nuts, man. Yeah, this is like something went down in a huge way. They fired 15 of their staffers, by the way, who had no idea that this was going to happen when they were planning on leaving. And so, yeah, like, it was just, it's, quote, it seems the final nail has been hammered in the separation of Prince Harry and his family,

thanks to the dismissals of their 15 staff members from the royal household who have been told they're no longer required, royal correspondent shared. But, yeah, apparently, like, Elizabeth's like, one more for the road. And they're just like, and Megyn Markle's like, how about, no. Lizzie, Lizzie? How about no, Lizzie? I feel like, yeah. She tried, man.

She, I feel like she came in and was like, I'm just going to take you. She came in and she tried and they were like, fuck you. And she was like, oh, fuck you back. And they were like, you can't say that to us. We're the queen. Right. I'm team Megzit all the way. Yeah, man.

She's saying, take your corgis and ride them into the sunset. There's definitely plenty of funky stuff going on in that palace that you could look towards and be like, yeah, they probably are just trying to disassociate with some of that stuff. Yeah, it's just hard, though, because I've watched all of the crown by myself, and I feel like, I'm like, I'm on Elizabeth's side. She's been through a lot, even though I know nothing. The queen has signed off on everything that has been put into the crown, so we'll never really know, like, what is, like, this is what has been allowed to be put forth, so we'll

never really know. but in my brain I'm just like, but she's had to do so much and wasn't her divine right. And I sit alone and I think about these things. Elizabeth's like make sure it looks like I've had to do so much. I've done so much. I'll keep it. Put her all the cool.

Blind items is now over friends. And hold it he can see again. Hell yeah. We're so happy that you can see again. again and thank you guys so much for joining us on this week's age seven we did it we are definitely we are living out our 12 year old dreams let's talk model land and um while we were just doing this last part i just purchased model land on the amazon show i'm gonna get my i'll get my going down the rabbit hole i will purchase it tonight all right i'll do it too i'll read it aloud to lexie is a bedtime

story we should all read it aloud to our our loved ones i'm already trying to Bedtime story. I'm going to call Henry over and be like, Henry, sit there. Listen. Listen, I've got things to say. Model and the true weighted blanket. Just text pictures of it to Jeff as every page just text. As he just gets more and more upset.

Jeff's got good upset face. He's got good upset face. All right. Yeah, we did it. Check us out. Thank you so much for listening. Check us out on patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. We do bonus episodes every single week for just $5 a month.

It's really fun. It's like super tubular if you sort of like that word. If you were like big into that sort of back when the Ninja Turtles were a thing or whatever. Yeah, everybody is. And don't have a cow, man. You can catch me on Twitch.tv. forward slash Holdenaders Ho where Jackie joins me on Friday nights. We get drunk as a skunk and sometimes we fight.

Jackie. Sometimes we fight and sometimes always we cry. My name is Jackie Zabrouse. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack Thatworm. And my partner's out of town for like weeks. So you guys are going to see me very active on there because I've got Insta stories to make. My name is MJK. Elcat on Twitter. And Gideon loved your Harry Potter Advent calendar play so much, Jackie, that I think you need to bring it back.

Oh, yeah. Oh, should I start doing those again? Oh, so good. Yeah, they were so good. Maybe I'll do that. Maybe I'll do that every day. I'll just, you know, you have to fill your life with some kind of creative joy. You do horny British very well.

You do. And it's great because I'm going to be very horny and very alone. So that's how I love to live my life. We love you guys so much. Thank you for joining us. Please check out our sister show now. Pop history comes out every Tuesdays. And we're always smiling.

We're also doing Natalie Gina's helm the at P7 LPN Instagram handle. So you can follow that on there to get all of the updates and everything page Savan and your law. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.