Page 7 - Episode 345: The Fullest House

Episode Date: March 19, 2020

This time in quarantine has us pondering the big questions: why is Mariah Carey forcing her children to sing "Fantasy"? Were all the buttholes in Cats edited out? And how many celebs are having secret bang seshes instead of social distancing? Let us guide your binge watching! Talkin' TV and other bonus shows, are available exclusively through our Patron page. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's exactly the opposite of what you asked for and yes, you are going to get it. Miam, yum, yum, yum, meow. Never get a castle never as a magic with Mr. Mustafi. The problem with constantly having this in your head, especially in a quarantine time, is you kind of get just as crazy as you need to be to finally purchase an own Cats the Musical,

which I don't know if you guys knew this, but starting yesterday on St. Patrick's Day, the holiest day of 2020, we can now own cats for ourselves. And I immediately jumped on it, if you will,

a pound's pajamas. I have heard, I promise. I have heard this is even more magical than the movie itself because they do have special bonus features. You do definitely get to go to Cat School. And, you know, of course, it's fun to see the

more comedic actors or whatever do it, but you also get to see the very serious actors go through Cat School. I'm talking Ian McKellan. We're talking Dane Judy Dinch. We're talking, we've got them all licking their hands, doing everything you shouldn't be doing right now, licking their hands, and rolling around on the floor. Cat School is very anti-quarantine. That's for fucking short. Welcome to page seven, guys. We are, this is a, you're the, you're the, you're is your quarantine edition of page seven because we are in three separate places. And it's kind of I feel like we're living in a Mad Max type world where it is everything that Outback Steakhouse always wanted our lives to be. No rules. Just right. Just right. It's funny that you started

with Mr. Mistophilies because I have been dealing with my sadness in all sorts of different types of ways, but one of them is remembering the good times. And I was remembering with such fondness, the episode where we recorded about cats and couldn't stop singing magical Mr. Mastafli. So obviously, can't quarantine our hearts from each other, Jackie, because we're in the same place. Right. Definitely. One of my favorite memories of 2019 was a space I cannot inhabit right now, and that would be a movie theater so high on edibles that I should have called the police on myself watching cats. Grants around.

And this is, it is exactly what we need. I saw everyone that tagged me in that dude that there's a viral video of this delightful human being that stuck his head outside of his city window because I know that I'm sure a lot of you guys have been watching the videos of an Italy where people are out on their porches and their balconies singing together and playing music and this guy sticks his head out the window and he slowly starts singing Mr. Mistophani and keeps looking around expectantly

as if other people are going to pop their heads out of windows and also start singing with him and he sings it to absolutely no one and I feel that man in my soul right now. Absolutely. Absolutely.

I just, all I want to do is go out, if I went out of my porch and started singing it, all of the very upset families in my neighborhood, I'm worried that I'd get food thrown at me, almost like a heathcliff, and I never want to be seen as a heathcliff. I feel like a pack of rabbit dogs would just attack you right there on the front porch without any chance.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm scared to go out and start sticking Les Mizz because it's like I'm not crying Revolution. I just love Lay Mizz. Right. I want everybody to do the opposite revolution. I want a saw not band together and stay completely away from each other. But doesn't it?

But every fiber of my being wants me to go out and go, Do you hear the people sing, singing the songs of angry men? And they're all just like, stay away from each other. Do not hear each other. That is what the men are screaming today and tomorrow, and Lord knows for how long. But we here over at the LPN are really trying to desperately keep a smile on her faces. And there are many ways in which we can do that. The first way, renting and or purchasing cats.

I think that is something that's really going to change my life. I'm very excited for me and myself and my life's journey. And there's many other ways. What have you guys been up to? Our friends have also been discussing. Our friends did a Google Hangout together, which was fun. There was like 10 of us. And we have been discussing whether or not we should watch cats as a group.

And I'm torn because I had such a, I associate cats with the pleasure, which with what I did not would feel like the rare pleasure of sharing physical space with other people. I had, it was so fun to like be, you know, two feet away from Holden watching cats. And so I'm a little bit torn. Except no one wants to be that close to Holden. So at least there's a brighter side to this. So I'm like, and there's just that the specific shared space was what made cats in the theater so magical. And so I, so now that it's streaming.

But then when I thought of. about it, I was like, of course I want to watch cats again. Of course that's what our collective descend into madness needs. We all need to be watching cats as much as possible. Like, of course that's the answer. It is really perfect that it's hitting right now. This is the time. And especially for so many people feeling so cagey. And I hope they don't realize what they're getting into so many of these people. You know what I mean? I just, all of the upset husbands around the world, too. My heart goes out to you and also like that. laughs at you for sitting there with the lazy boy with your big old arms crossed over your big

old beer belly just stewing over your wife making you watch cats. Stop getting me all horned. Do you know an angry spurned man and a lazy boy is everything my heart desires? I personally, Lexi and I had our anniversary yesterday and we, our one year anniversary, we celebrated. First of all, it's paper. So I arrived with six. rolls, thick rolls of toilet paper as my gift for her. That's a very good gift. Right? Very good gift, especially during this time. I gave her a shitload of toilet paper, so we're good to go there.

And we celebrated by actually just doing a live stream. I will say Broadway is dark, which is very unfortunate, because Lexi got us tickets to go see Sing Street on Broadway. Sing Street, of course. I love one of my favorite musicals of more recent time, and I'm so excited to go see it. And it will happen. eventually. But in the meantime, we did a live stream. We ate our cake. My mother saved our wedding cake and I brought it home and we ate it on stream. She wore her dress that she wore to the after party. I wore my groom outfit. We watched our wedding video with Twitch chat. It was very sweet.

It was really nice. She played Dark Souls and got really mad about it. We played Jackbox and it was a super nice way. You should have told me. I would have sat here in my bridesmaid's dress but that doesn't fit anymore, so I would have just had it completely unzipped all the way down in the back, because I don't know if y'all know this, but calories don't count during the quarantine, so don't even try to put the bridesmaid stress on. CDCQ, and I will say this, my vest, because you could only see me from about chest up,

my vest was fully unbuttoned for all three bottom buttons. It was only one button because, of course, I'm also, I'm just going to say, thick with loaves of bread and these sorts of things. with quarantine. Thick with quarantine. Thick with quarantine. I miss

being pregnant with cats, but now we're thick with quarantine. You know, it's fine. It's the same like that meme that we keep seeing where it's like quarantine rules are like airport rules, have a drink at 9 a.m. and I'm definitely living a life of eating

candy every single day. I went to a grocery store. I was looking for some more fresh vegetables. Couldn't find anything. So what did I do? I bought a lot of candy. And you know what? Candy doesn't change the predicament you're in, but it certainly gives you a bellyache.

And that's all right. Speaking of supplies and things before we get into the fun celebrity guys, do you guys have the, I'm thinking about getting the portable bidet to solve that problem. We have been, all, my entire house has been filled with bidet talk.

Right? For bidet. Bidets. We'd be considering it. Jackie, if you pull the trigger on that, please let me know what you end up going with and give me a customer review because I'm seriously considering getting one of this.

We get it online? Are they delivering bidets still? I thought that, I figured that we just had to get in the shower. I would consider that a necessary supply at this point. I think we could, I could make a case for it. I think so. Now, I'm going to go ahead and warn you guys. As someone that has purchased a bidet in the past,

I got one for Henry a long time ago. and I got him, of course, because I, you know, what are you going to do? I just bought, like, your basic bidet. It's like, well, because if he's not going to use it, I'm not going to get, like, a nice one. Don't get the basic bidet. The problem with the basic bidet is that what it does is it shoots out very cold water, and you can't change also how hard the water is coming out. So when I tell you, when cold water shoots like a fucking laser,

beam up through your asshole you think it's going to come out of your mouth and I know that it's apparently that's good it gets up into your holes I forget what is that an intestine of something it gets in there and it scuts it out it's like a colonic

it's like a colonic I don't want a colonic every time I shit I just want because what I love is I've also tried the bidets that have the front parts too and man you can have yourself a bit of a time. If you wish.

I have never used a bidet and I don't understand. I understand the argument. I know that Americans have a like uniquely kind of like disgusting relationship of toilet paper like that we use a lot of it that we like refuse to have any sort of healthier environmental relationship with it. The most countries don't use it like we do. So I, but so I get the premise of a. bidet, but I just don't, I just don't, I just don't, I can't quite picture it. I don't know what we're

getting into and I'm afraid I'm about to find out if the DIY got away. Yes, because apparently too, though, our buttholes per capita are far less clean than the Europeans. Very much so because we are not using the bidet's. It makes so much sense. It was the same as that Jeff had said this yesterday and I never thought about it to this extent because I'm telling you it's been bidet's. And he was saying like, He's like, if you got poop on your hand, would you just take a paper towel to wipe it off of your hands? No. I mean, no, I wouldn't, but I agree with the argument.

Yeah, I agree with the argument. Yeah, it's like, yes, I will. I love it. I'm going to go ahead and say there are a shocking amount that are definitely not available at this time on Amazon. And we're looking at a range of like $80 to like three. You could go as far as like $350 for these things. So I'm going to have to do some consumer

Reportage and get back to you guys. This is now a Badee podcast. Yeah, you should research it. I will. The people need to know. But if I pull the trigger and if you guys out there have a bidet that you need us to try, we won't try your bidet

unless you want us to come over but not right now after the quarantine. Don't you try and trick me over your house? There's so many caveats right now, Jackie, please. I just want a Bade now. Now I'm ready. I'm ready to invest. Yeah, never a better time to make the psychological leap from toilet paper to a bidet.

To get a little spray spray in your A. Yeah, and speaking of buttholes, we've got CGI butt holes to discuss. I am so, so my brother's partner sent this story to be like an hour ago. and I was like, old news. I've already been sent this story about cat buttholes so many times. Like, there's so many emails. You are so concerned about politics, about all these important issues going on in society today. I'm sure 10 years ago if someone was like one of the biggest things, people are going to be forcing to you,

is an article about cat buttholes because that's kind of more what you do a show about. I'm sure you would be shocked to the gills. So I'm just so happy. You can't forward me the email about cat buttholes three hours after that story comes out. You're going to be the last one, you know. So I appreciate how much I was already ahead of the curve on that. Thanks to you guys. And of course what we are talking about is hashtag release the butthole cut.

There was a tweeter out there that was talking about that he is a friend of the dude that whose entire job it was was to remove the CGI butt holes that had been inserted a few months before into the movie Cats. So they put the butt holes in and then they're like, no, no, no, no, no, take the butt holes out. Which I do find

interesting because I remember us originally talking about how they had no but holes. And yet still, my eye was very drawn to the butts regardless. There's the thing. I live with cats. Anybody who won't admit this is lying. Your eyes, you just can't, cat butts are part of being around cats. Right.

They're just, it's just a, you know, they're just, it's not like you seek them out when you look at a cat, but they're like, if you spend any amount of time around a cat, you're like, oh, you walk around like displaying your butt even more than a dog, I think because cat's tails are always up. Yeah. And so it's just, it's just part of, of looking at a cat is that you're going to see their butt. And so I think that, I think that your eye being drawn to their butt. Buts is only natural. Completely. Exactly. And so that's why the world is desperate to see the white whale cut of cats where the buttholes are still in it.

It does exist somewhere. Yes. We know that it does. So we need to find out a way. And even down to the fact that Knives Out Director Ryan Johnson was even out saying this is what the world needs. Can you hear the people sing singing the songs of angry cats? Maddie butts. Oh.

It is the cat butts of the cats that will not be ignored again. Dignor again. See, Les Mizz fits into every part of our lives, guys. Release the butt hole cut. And I don't even know if I could enjoy cats anymore, but if this is the way that I can, I'm here for it. That's the thing. Like I was saying before, it's like, oh, is cats just going to make me sad for the that like we can't all experience it together,

but what better way to experience it alone in your home than with buttholes this time? Or you can do what Seth Rogan did, and last night he got super stoned and live tweeted himself, watching cats by himself. I feel like every one of his tweets was something that went through my mind

when I saw it in the theater. It was absolutely authentic. Yeah, that was the thing. Like in the theater, at one point I did take, take out my notebook in the theater, but I was like, what am I doing? I can't even see what I'm writing.

Like I'm in a movie theater, what I'm sitting here with a notebook. But like, I kept thinking, one of the great things about watching cats was every thought that I had, I was like, this is the most important thought I've ever had because it was just like, you know, it was just like,

it just simulates the mind in that kind of way that you really need, it is a worthy project to kind of document your experience, you know, as you go. I think that, and especially in these times, it's important. Maybe this is what we need to focus ourselves on. I mean, Henry and I have definitely been doing quarantine, sibling social distance yoga, and it puts you into a certain good place mentally,

but this is what I've been craving to really feel, you know what it is? I think it's these time periods that we watch movies and we're all so obsessed with this kind of stuff because we think that chaos rains. And I'm fucking number one. I think that chaos is fun to watch on a screen. But then when it starts happening outside, you don't know how to make your life seem more real, I guess, the word is? So that's why you need cats in your life. This is also coming from someone that because quarantine rules, I'm drinking a white claw while we do this.

Absolutely. And I'm having red wine, and it is absolutely delicious. I also have to say my favorite, I think my favorite tweet from his tweet barrage during the watching. is their tails are dancing. I do. I love Seth Rogen. I don't know if it's just a, I think that's a forever love for me of just, you know, a bearded stoner dude. Yeah, duffy bearded guys, yeah.

He's just so delightful. And I wish that we could find a way. So now, if you guys saw it today, Netflix is starting to do this thing where you can install it on your brow. You could do Netflix parties with people. So you can post up with what's people are watching on Netflix. Everybody can watch it together. This is very smart Netflix.

How do we do it with cats? Yes. Please bring cats to Netflix. And I only want the butthole cut. I know we're being very specific Netflix, but times are tough and you need to deliver. Butthole cut party viewing on Netflix. Because you could do a kind of DIY.

This is very dorky, but me and my friends, because we're all, you know, politics. junkies we all watched the debate together. So we had a Google Hangout going. We all turned on our TVs and then we all had to mute our Google Hangout so that we didn't hear the TV, you know, as we watched. And then we would unmute during the commercials talk and then mute again.

So that's something that you guys could use if you want to, you know, hang out with your friends and watch something and not use the net. That's not on Netflix. It was really fun. We just sat in companionable silence and watched the debate and then would unmute and then check in and it totally worked. But I'm glad that Netflix is here for us. And it's so funny.

You know, obviously it's like normal to go four or five days without seeing your friends. But as soon as you like can't see your friends, you're like, I need to sit silently with a computer screen in front of me and just see my friends there. So I'm very glad that Netflix is doing this.

I feel like a child. I feel like it's like, don't tell me I can't. Because for me, I primarily out of my own home, so it's really, you know, it is not that different, which I'm very, very thankful for. But the fact that I can't makes me about, like, I feel like I'm about to have a temper tantrum at every second of the day because it's, I want to. I want it and I need it. And I said something about that, about the candy the other day, because we didn't have any candy in the house. And I said, I want it and I need it like I'm a toddler.

But I got it. Yeah. And I feel like I've just, not for nothing, but I feel like the last like two years of my life have been mild social distancing because I've been pregnant and with very young babies. So I have not been going out. I was looking forward to spring 2020 being my Renaissance. Oh, yeah. Nobody wants to be around that.

Oh, my God. Too. What, the babies? I've been staying in. I've been standing for a long time. I was ready to go. I was just starting to go out. But now we are not going out, but we are watching cats.

And you know you're going to accidentally get pregnant again during the time. Don't you dare. Why are you putting a fucking pox on her house? I'm just saying. Not that it's a pox. Everybody needs to take their pro-c-cats. This is not like, oh, hurricane babies. This is like everybody needs to be, do everything they can to limit their interaction with the health care system.

every way, which means be careful when you're effing, too. Yeah, but what if, but what if all the holiday babies? Only F and the A, all right, for the next foreseeable three to four months. And I've been on that campaign online. I've been calling people on the phone. I've been polling. I'm like, they're like, who are you voting for? And they're like, I don't know.

I'm not, I don't know. I'm not even registered. I'm like, it doesn't matter. I'm calling to tell you you got to fuck in the ass. At least the next month, daily. Between 15. Some people say 15 days. Some people say 45.

Some people say between 12 and 18 months. Yes, Jackie. My poor ass. Your protocol needs to change. You need to be F-A-ready. Okay? And that's a CDC, E-XP. I feel it needs to be a lot more relaxed at all times, if that is the case.

I need to start dissentives. I need to start meditating or doing something. They say two to three digits. You see me by next week and I'm just sitting here like a pile of pudding like I had to be a lot just in case I got after me Oh my God

All sorts of protocols going on every story And I'm sad because I also really needed I was so excited to finally watch the Razies this year. The Razies were supposed to be streamed live We're supposed to be able to see it but of course got canceled because of the pandemic.

And so, but of course, it still went on and don't worry, guys. Katz won six Razzie Awards this year. They won worst picture, worst supporting actor and actress, James Gordon and Rebel Wilson, respectively. Yes, agree. Worst on-screen combo, worst screenplay, and worst director for Tom Hooper. Perfect.

Also, big shout out to Eddie Murphy with the Razzie Redeemer for my name, is Dolomite, right? That's the name of it, right? Dolomite is my name. Dolomite is my name. Whatever, I'm dyslexic, but I love it, and I appreciate that he got that. But yes, we all knew it was going to happen,

and I need to see this Rambo movie. The funny thing, too, is I've heard people be like, oh, it's good, it's good. Like big dumb morons love it, and I'm a big dumb moron, so I'm excited. I am excited, though, because John Travolta won worst actor for both the fanatic and trading paint.

and Trading Pate, if you recall, was that weird, a race car driver movie where he was married to Shania Twain. And can I say another fuck you to this pandemic because I was all set up Monday night, my plan, I was going to go see I still believe in the movie theaters. Because it was the worst weekend for the box office ever, I still believe, and yes, I am referring to the KJEPA Christian Rock movie that came. out over the weekend. It got the highest, what's it called? Boothies? It got all the boothies for the weekend with just $4 million. Wow. And how could I not see it? His parents are played by Shania Twain and Gary Sinise. Okay. You guys don't care. Oh, you guys don't care? I'm just, I care. I'm organizing my thoughts. Do you said Christian rock? Well, it's more like, God loves me.

You know, it's KJIPAA. Okay. Well, yeah, but like, I mean, is it a musical movie about Christianity? Because remember when we talked about that movie that was a Christian movie about that person who fell through the ice and was dead? You know, there's like a genre of Christian movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Breakthrough. Breakthrough.

No, I still believe is heavily based in its own faith. But what it is is that he's a Christian music star. And he gets married to his girlfriend, who is his girlfriend in real life, Britt Robertson. They get married. And I want to say maybe she's like a pastor's daughter or something like that. And he plays his Christian music and they get married because she's guys dying. Why is someone always dying? I guess it has to be life or death for faith to be.

involved, right? But I just a lot, yes. There's always a coma. It's like a coma has to happen in every one of these Christian dramas. A coma or a brain tumor. There's apparently a lot of praying in the movie. And it is like, it's almost. Is he a big old Christian?

Or was he just like, yeah, whatever, I'll do it. Honestly, I think that it, I really, as much, I mean, as what I've seen of his following, I believe it's just that it is a film. I think that he just didn't ever. He's like, because I mean, I know, Shania Twain isn't, and I can't imagine Gary Seneese is. Or even if they are, I know it's not a big part of them and what they talk about all the time. I will say.

It's not like Gary Siddis only does hyper Christian films. Right, right, right, right. Dude, the fucking cocaine that must have been flying around at those after party, after shoot parties, you know what I mean? Who do you? KJ and Shania just fucking getting deep on some philosophy and shit, just fucking screaming at each other until 6th of the morning. Oh, God. And it's funny because KJ Epa, the other movie that I know him, like, besides Riverdale that he was in is the hit you give. And that movie is like incredible.

I loved it. And so it's, I mean, yeah, I thought it was really good. It's definitely like a Y.A. Like, you know, it's a YA book like turned into kind of like a YA style movie. But I thought it was like very, very well done. He is, you know, fucking Archie. He just is Archie. Like he is what he's not an actor.

He's just Archie. So like he's just a dumb. and he plays a dumb idiot and I hate you give. He plays it very well. So I hope he plays a dumb idiot in this movie because that's, I mean, maybe he has a whole range that I don't know about, but. Well, it's actually based on a real life person named Jeremy Camp, who is an actual Christian music singer.

And it is based on the idea that he married her knowing that she was dying. And then, I mean, guys, I apologize, but I think that we get it. she dies after the hundred. What? Dyes. And the thing is that you know me. I'm going to watch it and I'm going to be like, yeah, all right, I'm going to go see this. This is going to be whatever.

And I'm going to sob through it because that is what I do. I will say Britt Robertson is sort of sexually appealing as a woman. Well, I would definitely watch the tape of the two of them a thousand percent. I would only watch this sort of 69 happen, but that's the only one. Only a 69. Why do you want to see the back of KJ. You'd have to pay me $1,000 to watch any other sexual position between the two of them. Ooh.

All right. So, $1,000 per even for missionary? Oh, $2,000 for missionary. Wow. And I get to take a nap halfway through it and then watch the rest when I wake up. I don't know if it's going to last that long. They're very young. But speaking of cats, I think that this is a fun way to deal with it.

Now, I was wondering, and I feel like a need to talk about this, how does dame judy dench feel about her role in the movie cats what i love is that this is just such a badass stance to take bitch i didn't even watch it she doesn't care she doesn't even possibly care she's essentially what it seems like she's like i mean she was in the the original cats i don't believe that she was in the original broadway cats but she was been or she was in the original movie She was in the cast in the stage musical back in 1981.

Oh, wow. Oh, I didn't know that. That's a fun fact. Yeah, so she is OG Cats. As who? Do you know as who? It doesn't say. Good question.

Hold on. I'm going to go with Deuteronomy. No, she's not old Deuteronomy because she was very young back that, not that she's old now. She's gorgeous. I love her smile and I love her essence. And I love the fact that even though she knows the movie is bad, she says, I didn't read anything about the response to it, nor have I seen it. I once had a cat who looked like that, talking about how she looked in the movie, called Carpet.

And I didn't realize I was playing Carpet. I thought I was playing a kind of, you know, mangyer cat, who didn't have much fur. I didn't realize I was this wonderful show cat. So does that mean that she also was like barely invested and involved, which makes me love her even more? She's not, I mean, it's not like any of them are seeing the cat, the final product cat that they become. Right, because they're all wearing, they're all doing mocap. Yeah. Which is ridiculous.

Mo cat. And, yeah, and, yeah, so they don't know. Right? Isn't that a good one? That was a good one. But yeah, I mean, so yeah, they were probably all surprised to see what they look like. And I bet some of them were fucking mad that there wasn't a big gaper in the back of their butt. You know what I mean?

Or any of that kind of situation, too. Give us the butt holes. The butt hole. Give us the buttholes Chanted loud people But I guess Someone that is not too worried about their butthole Is Mariah Carey

Oh my God, this fucking video is so funny It's good though It's good I love all these celebrities coming out and being like Wash your fucking hands You know feed the tiny horse in your living room You know all that stuff Oh my god So this is a part of our show where

I want to really just give out a thanks to a lot of the celebrities that are coming out and making ridiculous content because everyone is all cooped up. Now, this really was kicked off by Mariah Carey. Well, maybe not kicked off, but the first one I looked at was Mariah Carey forcing her children, Morocco and Monroe, to be in this TikTok about washing their hands to the old dirty bastard part of fantasy and trying to force them to sing it while they're washing their hands. which I appreciate it. She was trying, I guess, but just these kids don't respect her. She's like, come on, you know it. Come on, you know these words.

It's just that every time she brings her kids in public, it's to make them sing one of her songs. You know, like that's how she uses her children. And I'm, listen, like, I try to not judge anybody for how they like their parental choices, but she exclusive, the only time I've seen her children is when she is forcing them to sing her. her songs.

And I just love it so much because she's, I love that they're not even singing the, the chorus part of fantasy. They're doing, like, the rap part of it, which that's great. I dig, but why are you making them do this? But on top of it, I don't know, have you guys been watching any of the stuff that celebrities are putting out? Yeah, I mean, I have a perfect segue with Jennifer Gardner, not making people sing her songs, but asking people to sing their songs or whatever it is.

And same with Broadway star Laura Benanti. I think that's a really smart thing to get everybody to try to be creative and try to like, you know, especially my heart went out. Laura Bonanti was like if you were like me, Broadway, you know, the high school musical was a lifesaver. So it must be upsetting for people who can't perform in their show this semester or whatever. But I want to hear your song and I want to hear your performance. And I thought that was so sweet.

Yeah. Oh, at first when you said sing your own song, I had a jaded reaction. But then that makes me feel sad and sweet. I'm a theater teacher. I'm like, you know, it's show season. So I know kids are missing their shows and their proms and all of that. Right. No, and that's why I thought about you completely, Molly, when I said, so if you hashtag at

Hey, Jen, look at me, this hashtag she's looking at it every single day because she's trying to repost and get, she says, well, the show must go on, people. Break out your oboes, built out your torch song, run in place, I don't care. Show us what you've been working on and we will show it to the world. Use hashtag, hey Jen, look at me because I want to see. And then there's just all these videos of her so delighted as she watches these kids show her what she's been, what they've been working on all semester long. And talk about a way that in this time of fear and panic, And that there are still people out there that we are trying desperately to remain as positive as we can. And Jennifer Garner is definitely one of those people, along with the fact that she is working with Amy Adams right now in doing this at Save With Stories, where not only she and Amy Adams are working together, they are getting other celebrities as well to stream read children's stories at that Instagram account.

That's at Save With Stories. And what they're doing is that they're trying to directly raise money for save the children and no kid hungry, both of which are providing food and educational supplies for the millions of children who rely on their schools for both. And there are ways in which you can give back that we can do while being quarantined and while being safe and not going out and just spreading more bullshit. And I love that people are being a positive beacon at this time. we need it right now. Also really quick, the Laura Bonanti hashtag is for your high school musical if you have a kid or whatever.

Or whatever if you have a kid though, but like whatever. Whoa. It is hashtag sunshine songs. Hashtag sunshine songs, okay? Oh, that's sweet. That's very sweet. I love it.

I also loved Lizzo playing the flute. She did like a half an hour pep talk too, by the way. It wasn't just her playing because I love you on the floor. which is beautiful. And then she just like talks to the camera for like a half an hour about just like motivating people. And it was like, it was really beautiful. I loved it. So that was another good one. She did a full guided meditation, which is awesome. That's what it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's a great way for people to still try and get their brain to be good. Now, with someone that I am very thankful that I am healthy during this time period, but my problem is I have mental

illnesses and I am trying desperately to keep my brain from not either shutting down or going into mania, which it has definitely been flip-flopping back and forth very rapidly for about the past week. And it's things like this that ground us, that bring us comfort, that I know that I keep joking about Henry and I doing our social distance sibling yoga together, but it's hard to do classes by yourself at home and it is it's good it's good there are good ways for us to help and i think jackie started to cry but i think that's also another thing that made jacky cry was the encouraging words from arnold sworetsonager about not definitely not just uh through this whole situation but also just i'm so glad you finally found this jaggis this is something i've known about

that on reddit like he just pops up and just like responds to people he's in different body building subredits and stuff like that and he'll just hop in and be like, you got this. You know, like, you know, yeah. And people are just like, oh my God, Arnold Schwarzenegger's responded to my comment, you know what I mean? So it's kind of amazing. I now am completely in love with Arnold Schwarzenegger

because he had also put out this video where he had his two miniature ponies come in the house and he was feeding them carrots and which I love, did you watch him feed him the carrots? Of course I watched him feed the fucking. What am I busy with other stuff? I love it. And it made me so happy.

And then, of course, he's going to wash his hands after he feeds the ponies carrots. But then I was reading all, so that's what Holden was talking about, is that I found this website, that it was all these responses that Arnold Schwarzenegger was that was responding to people. And there was one that was just so beautiful, because especially in these times where it's hard, where there is no gym for us to go to. And you, like I said, I've been eating candy every day and you get really downed on yourself on top of the fact that all of this stuff is going on. And he says, please don't be that hard on yourself. We all go through challenges. We all go through failure.

Sometimes life is a workout. But the key thing is you get up. Just move a little. Roll out of bed and do some push-ups or go for a walk. Just do something. One step at a time. I hope you feel better and get back to the gym. But don't beat yourself up because that's just useless talk.

It doesn't get you closer to the gym and don't be afraid to ask for help. Good luck. Can you imagine getting that from Arnold fucking Schwarzenegger? I know. Yeah, I love how we talks about how failure you're like falling forward which means but that still means you're like moving in the right direction

and so just get back up and keep going forward which is what I loved that sentiment. Like failure is a forward movement even when you don't think it is you know or when you get down to yourself which I think is like a really beautiful way to just have perspective on it. You know what I mean? which is not to bring it back to the quarantine, but quarantine is also a forward movement.

Like, it's what we have to all be doing right now, even though it feels like it won't feel like we are doing anything, but we are. And like that actually is like very, very, yeah, we are. Yeah, for sure. And it's all about focusing on the positive too, which Arnold Schwarzenegger says, instead of I'm chubby, Jackie, I'm going to need you to do that as an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression, please.

Instead of I'm chubby, tell yourself, it'd be fantastic for my health if I ate better. Instead of I fell that test, you tell yourself, I'll study twice as hard next time. That was like a Russian vampire was what that sounded like. I could not have been further from. You might as well have done a Jamaican accent. That was so terrible. I want to job it with you. Yes, I also want to job it with you.

I'm very good at my Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation. Thank you very much. First, I have to compliment for your physical development because you really look very athletic and good so you don't put yourself down. You kind of need a little more in the throat. It's got to be like, you know what I mean? It's got to be very...

You got kind of get throatier with it. I don't think he's that throaty. I think you guys are using throaty in two different ways. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've done that before. All right. Yeah, guys, I still got it. Don't worry, there's sex in there somewhere.

It exists. But it definitely doesn't exist while I've been working on. I don't know about you guys, but I've definitely been working on a pretty horrible Spotify playlist for myself because I think that during this time, you know, we want to listen to stuff that makes us feel comfortable. We want to get back into the womb a little bit. And I am going to go ahead and throw it out there. I wasn't going to tell anyone about this playlist.

But I think that you guys might enjoy it. I titled it, someone call a doctor because I'm sick with a bunch of hang ten emojis. because again, I didn't think that I was going to share this one. But if you look up Jackie Zabrowski and Spotify, there's a good amount of Lincoln Park on there. There's a lot of Eve Six. There's a lot. There's a space hog song.

And, you know, there's a couple system of a downs. It is classy. And I have been rocking the fuck out of it to the point that I've been listening to no other music besides New Metal for the most part. Geez, what? No, what? I told you. No wonder your brain is going to bad.

Bad brain is, I mean, no judgment to the new metal people, but. Molly, you're allowed to judge. If there's something of a fucking planet, you're allowed to judge. How dare you. All right, with your chain wallet. Hold on, you weren't around for the years of years of page seven that Jackie and Marcus would talk about new metal for hours. And I would just tune out.

But Jackie contributed largely to my wedding Spotify playlist, which is to this day, I'm about to hit my four-year wedding anniversary. And to this day, I still go to that playlist for my happy plays. So Jackie can make a Spotify playlist. I'm just not sure if this is the one. Oh, I've got lots of very different Spotify playlist for, I mean, my problem is that I'm proud because I don't drink nearly as much as I used to. So I used to get obsessed with the song,

and then I would take the song, and I'd put it on every playlist, regardless of whether the song went with everything, which I mean, I know that I talk about voodoo by God smack, and that was definitely one that I put on everything for a while, which is definitely on the someone call a doctor because I'm sick, playlist, don't worry. And it just vacillates.

And I think that I just needed to get back to a place where since my brain has been so bad that I needed to get back to a place where my brain was worse to make myself. I think it's like watching reality television but through music. Uh-huh. You know what I mean?

Yeah, there's just, it just makes you stupider by the milliseconds. Cut my life in two pieces. This is my last reason. No. You have to have down with the sickness on there, right? That has to be. Cha.

Cha. Cha, cha, cha. Yeah, yeah. That's got to be done. Which that is on some of the other. The Spotify is rolling out some fun other theme quarantine themed Spotify playlist. But did you guys listen to? So we all know that Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson coronavirus, but they are now out of the hospital.

They're out of quarantine. So they're doing okay. Also, we all know Idriselba. I was going to say we've got to talk about Idriselba. For sure. Symptom free. Important to know you can be symptom free, at least as when he recorded that video. symptom-free but still had a positive test.

I still have it. Yeah, totally. Yes. But Rita Wilson did make a very sweet little playlist while she was in quarantine, and it's called Rita Wilson's Quarantunes on it. And now I do love me some Rita Wilson because I was a big rom-com fan in the 80s and the 90s, and she was all over that shit. And if you were one to, you know, fall for like a mid-90s, the Flintstones, if that happens to be your job, Jam. You also love Rita Wilson. But she has her own album out. And the leaving on a jet plane version

that she has on her quarantines is actually very delightful. I'm going to sob if I listen to leaving on a jet plane right now. No thank you. No thank you. Not right now. Absolutely not. Don't you want to cry as much as I cried? This is what quarantines for. No one can see you, except for your kids and your husband and they'll get scared about how much you're crying. I have to segment my crying into, I mean, maybe after everyone's asleep and I'm by myself, then I'll listen to leaving on a jet plane to just sob silently in my room that I share with one of the babies. So I have to really silently sob. You know, there's not a lot of place.

My house is about to have three cats and four adults and two kids because we're preparing for a potential shelter in place. And so we're getting another cat. And from, you know, my brother's partner who's going to be staying with us and doesn't want to leave her cat alone. So we're going to have a real fuller house. Between those and the other cats that you're about to rent and or buy, your house is going to be filled with them. Yeah, you know, if you watch the movie cats and you think,

I wish my life was full of cats, then you are, like me and that is what's happening in my life. And also if you're like me and you watch full house growing up and you're like, oh, I want a house full of people. And then you watch Fuller House when you're an adult and you're like, yeah, it still sounds nice. And now you're like, and now it is the fullest house. Right. But at the same time, you notice they actually live in a

big house where there's all this space. Very big house. Rooms and things that you know what in San Francisco. Oh my God. How much of that fucking place cost today? I would love to know the price of that San Francisco spot for full house. It must be like $3 million. Well, I say it's fun to get aboard the SS Molly. And by SS, I mean, silence sobbing. I think you guys want to have it.

Choo, chew, chou. I'm pulling it to a harbor. Oh, no, excuse me. I'm leaving all the jet-safing. Why did she keep crying so quietly? when I'll be back. All right. Well, you know what? Fine, Molly, you've convinced me. Likes and I

will be also joining you guys. We will also be living there. We will bring an air mattress. Come on over. It is deflated though. It will deflate throughout the night, so we'll just have to wake up on the hardwood floor reinflated a couple times throughout the evening. I mean, at least all of that is not

as scary as the cardboard quarantine house that Northwest Kardashian built for her dollies that look like Kim and Kanye to live in and I know that I'm very happy that honestly a kid that can have

anything in the entire world the fact that she's still being creative I think that's fucking awesome and she definitely build a very scary makeshift dollhouse out of cardboard for them even with little windows and everything cut into it and it's just Kim and Kanye

dolls in it with a little hand sanitized like a mini hand sanitizer inside of this dollhouse. And if I saw my kid do that, I'd be worried they were going to kill me in my sleep. I thought it was sweet, Jackie. And I think this makes you evil. No, no, no, no, no.

How many horror movies? How many horror movies I've seen when you see a horror movie and there is a person in it that has a doll likeness, that person going to die? If there's dolls in it, that person is going to die. Everybody knows that. I get it. I'm Team Northwest.

It's whatever adults decided to give her dolls that look exactly like her parents, that is absolutely pathological antisocial behavior. But this child, as you said, you can't, you can't crush out the creativity of a child, no matter how weird her parents are. And I think she's doing a great job. She's doing great job. At least it's not like a weird furnitureless mansion dollhouse, because that would be strange.

That's also very scary. And that would be more apropos to the family. And not as added the opposite of how cute. Oh my God, guys. The Penguin video. Please, everyone, if you need to smile on your face. If you're feeling a little cooped up, remember the penguins at Shed Aquarium located in Chicago

because since the aquarium was shut down, the penguins got to go in a little field trip. and oh my god I just kept going oh my god and I would watch the video again and go oh my god look at them

because they're allowed to walk around the aquarium and then there's a little video and one of the penguins is so confused because he sees the fish in the aquarium through the glass

but he can't get to him because there's glass there and at first I was a little offended on behalf of the penguins because I said how dare they mock the penguins for not knowing

that there's glass there But I think that it was actually just supposed to be cute. I like it. I think penguins are our new celebrities now. I would rather watch the penguins. I'll watch the penguin all day doing this. Can you hear the penguin squawk? Squawking the sounds of happy birds.

No, they're not angry. I said happy birds. It is the music of the penguins who have absolutely no anger. See it how great is that. Remember the penguins. Remember, remember the penguins of March. And yes, it falls flat. But that's how it fucking goes, guys.

Because it's already time for the list. Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. I think, all right, well, we have two fun lists, and maybe I'll save one for next week, and you guys will be really excited about what that's going to be. Because today, yeah, guys, yeah, I think it's time to bust out those Beanie Babies because your girl

Jack A is coming at you with six expert tips for making money off of your Beanie Baby collection. You know, that's great. I have talked about this, I think on this show before, one of my favorite little mini documentaries that this kid made. His dad had essentially spent

the family fortune on bins and bins of Beanie Babies and this is after they became completely worthless and he's just like, it was a whole documentary about it. Very sad, but very fascinating. So you think we could actually today make any amount of money on those babies. I got some.

I got some and you know we're all struggling financially right now. I got a whole bag of beanie babies that my parents when they moved out of their house and came here they brought some. I don't think they brought all because I was a beanie baby kid and they got some so I hope they are worth

anything. I think a third of my parents' garage is filled with the Tupperwheres of Beanie babies that my mom said that she was going to get rid of and I was like, mom, why? I, which was my actual 33-year-old response, was that indignant about her trying to get rid of my beanie babies. Because according to Dr. Lori Verdame, an antique suppressor with an expertise in beanie babies, she says some beanie babies sell for thousands of dollars.

But before you list your beanie babies, let's talk a little bit of beanie baby terminology. Isn't this what you came here for today? You got to remember, these things are all different. We got the hang tag. We got the swing tag or just the ear tag. Those are three different types of tags. You think it's just a tag, but there's three different kinds. Certain errors on variations of the heart-shaped tag on Beanie Baby's ear could dictate its worth.

So some of them were worth more than others. And also you have to remember, there's also the Tush tag on the Beanie Baby, right? This is very much reminding me again. I have to bring up the S&L sketch where Chris Farley is playing the mother and Adam Sandler is the father. And Chris, I was like, what to do in the town tonight?

He's like, Lord, release me from this curse. There's hang tags and there's flag tags. Oh, love of God. And what you didn't know hold is that there's two answer now, God. There's two different kinds of pellets inside of the BD. There's polyethylene, which are P.E.

pellets and polyvinechloride, which are PVC pellets. And the P.V.C. pellets are rarer than the P.E. P.E. P.E. P.E.B.B.E. Baby errors don't always make it valuable, guys. Now, Dr. Lorry says people are surprised to learn that errors are, in fact, very common. They will say, well, mine has an error. So this must be rare. They don't look at enough beanie babies to realize that many of them

have errors. They don't look at enough. So if you find a misprint on a beanie baby deck or some other manufacturing mistake, do some research before getting your hopes up. Some Valentino bears, which I had a Valentino. I had a Valentino too. They had a Valentino.

I had up to four manufacturing errors. This is just saying that your collector's item is a poor quality product. I learned that's all this is, stating. They're filled with flaws because it's like we didn't give a shit and it's a dumb product that we threw

on the shelf. Yeah, but some of the Valentino bears have black noses and some of them have brown noses. So, think about that. And the brown nose ones, those are the ones that really get high in the corporate life and they become vice president. Yeah, but hold it.

I'm about to fucking blow your mind. Hold on. Hold on. Blow my mind. I want you to blow my mind. I want you to blow my mind. Did you know that? Baby smell is just as important as its appearance. He got up. He left. He's gone. He walked away.

He's gone. He walked away. I was going to ask. He's defeated. I was going to ask Colin to give us and now I've heard everything, but he's too mad. He walked away. He can't even give us and now I heard everything. I've cut my ears off so I can't hear anything else.

That's what happened. He's bad. You have to. He's back at his desk because headbows are out. I'm going to keep them in plastic tubs or even Ziploc bags in order to keep any kind of dirt or damage away from them. So don't forget, guys, the smell is just as important. And also, if you want to make money, you got to remember the top nine, the OG Beanie Babies. And what are they, guys?

Wait, I can, wait, let me guess. The Princess Diana one. The Princess Diana one. That's not OG, Molly. Well, but I'm talking about, all right, I jumped the gun. I was thinking of the ones that might be worth the most. How about the Aaron-Gobrah Irish one? Go ahead, hold it.

I'm looking at this list. I'm looking at this list. And there is a video, a quarter the size of my web page that is of a woman and her troll doll collection. And you cannot X out of it. It is so obnoxious. This website, I hate everything about this website. I hate the content of this website.

I hate the giant video that I cannot remove. And she is just so, no, I like, anyways. So, um. Oh, I want to fucking guess what the damn OGs are, but I, I, there's too much on my mind right now. My mind doesn't work anymore. I think to the McDonald's ones. That is where you will start to jump off. There's going to be a, an iguana in there.

No. No? No, you're so right. How about just name animals and we'll find, and we'll just say, yeah. when you named an animal that it is. A bear. Yes. Yes.

What kind of, is there any sort of wild cat in the bunch? A leopard. No. Nay. Nay. Fuck me. I just, I only know the ones that were really high profile. I don't know the OGs.

You're jumping to all these exotic animals. You're jumping to animals. I like it. That like no one could own in America. They'd get like arrested if they owned one. Like name like basic animals. Is there a, there's a, there's a, little cat. What was the little cat's name?

No! Cats on you? No, there's not even a domestic cat? We've been talking about cats's entire fucking episode. Is there a dog? Yeah, for the love of God, yes. Spot the dog. I never had Spot. No, fuck Spot. I think, no, I did have spot. Fuck, spot. Who else? I do love pinchers, the lobster. Pinchers the lobster. Pinchers the lobster. I never had pictures. Squealer the pig.

Can we please not. be in this in the moment anymore. Can we please? There's more fucking Beanie Baby Facts Holden so hold on. Because you know what? What else are we going to get to in our lives, guys? Fact four. I'm going to gouge my eyes out right now so I can get to the blind items. Number five, be skeptical of Beanie baby price guides.

Now, I had a Beanie Baby Price Guide and it was in the form of a magazine. And I would go through and I would highlight the lines of. of each baby baby that I had, and then I would take out a calculator and I would count it up to pretend like I was a millionaire. And what Dr. Lori wants us to remember, never ship a Beanie Baby that hasn't been sold, which I think that that's more of just like a commerce.

I think that's a normal thing, like never send anything until it's been sold. But I guess she felt the need to remind Beanie Baby sellers never to send the Beanie Baby before it's been sold. Now I've got the Princess Dye Bear. I got the Eringo Bra Bear. I got the tie-dye bear. I had a lot of the... The Jerry

Garcia one. The Jerry Garcia one. Yeah, that was definitely to let everybody know that you were both lame and cool because you collected Beanie Babies, but you also were down with the weed. Fuck yeah, bra! I will say, I'm proud of myself. I never fell for any of these. I didn't do Pogs. I didn't do

Beanie Babies. I was always very like looking at people doing this sort of thing, buying in and everything and being like, ah. So what you're saying is you never had any fun and you were never cool. No, but not for nothing.

Holden. You would have been, Jackie and I would have been in sixth grade and fifth grade, respectively. And you would have been in, I think, ninth grade. So if you were a ninth grade boy

collecting beanie babies, it wouldn't have been quite as an age appropriate look as it was on us. And I will make an addendum on that. I did collect spawn comic books. That was the one thing that I actually collected

for a little while. You didn't do Magic the Gathering? No. I didn't. I, uh, I, I, I, I played Magic the Gathering. Don't get me wrong. Like, I know how the game works. And actually, uh, our friend Skulk Steve, who does the opening to this particular podcast,

the opening song, he got back into magic and would come over and we'd play magic even as grown as adults. But I, no, I never bought into magic, especially magic. Because magic is a game where like, you have to spend, to, to be better at the game, you have to spend more money, essentially. Like, there's no way to not. be really good at the game without spending hundreds of dollars on. Are you saying you're anti-magic?

No, I'm not anti-magic, but I like to play games that I don't have the better. I don't like mobile games, though. I don't like anything where you have to spend more money to be better at the game. I don't like that. I get it, but I feel like you're both judging me right now. I feel like I'm in a judgment circle right now. And you're both called a Beanie X Beanie Baby Collector. So I feel like judge not less ye be not a Beanie Baby Collector.

And that's the Bible. Okay, KJ, epa. Yeah, that's in the fival or whatever. Okay? Molly has kids, so whatever. Hold, I'm going to need you to give me a now I have heard everything. Now I've heard everything and those things have made me blind. Yeah, items.

We can't see them. I know we didn't do that right, but whatever. I don't even care. I'm moving past it. Whoa. Are you guys ready for blind items? Yeah. I'm ready.

I'm just going to say none of these blind items involve the quarantine, but I will say that every blind item right now generally has to do with the fact that celebrities are using the quarantine as a way to cheat on their spouses.

You just know that. Every celebrity with a spouse. See, you said this earlier. But how? When you have to see you? Because they're like, oh no, I think you might be sick. You have to be away from me. And then they go hump, hump, hump, hump

hump, hump with the mailman. Hum, hump, hump, hump, Hump with the pool boy. So it's like sort of a lot of that. Yeah, it's a lot of that. Also, a quick shout out. Another blind out I was going to use was had to do partially with the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow posted like her wearing like $800 clothes being like,

you can buy this on the website right now and everybody was just like, are you fucking shitting me an $800 outfit and everyone's fucked up right now? Especially during what is happening right now, go fuck yourself. It was deleted after four hours. It was lit up for four hours. Interesting. Yeah, she realized that fucking society is falling apart. Nobody has money for $800 outfit.

And I love that it took her four hours to realize that, not five minutes. But anyways. Of course not. She has got her own head up her own ass. I will say, my anger has been at a 15 out of 10 for a week. Like between the crying bouts. And it's things like that. I got no fucking time for it.

Remember that mean? Right. I got time for that. I had time for that. I have time for that. Blind item number one, you people. Oh, that's nice. This foreign-born permanent A-list, this former born-born permanent A-list singer has developed a Coke problem that is insane.

I will give a couple clues. Foreign-born, she's super A-list. We're excited about her next album. She's lost a lot of weight. She went through a divorce. she no not a doubt speculations of course are happening after she lost a hundred pounds is looking amazing and workout clothes recently i wish i could have shown molly this but we're not in the same room there is a picture of her in workout clothes that recently dropped and she is a feion looking

she is a theon but i don't i just feel like you know and not to be like this and as i think maybe it's just a as a fat woman like immediately defensive of like you just don't want her to be happy You just want to say, oh, she lost all this weight. And also, how long it took her to lose the weight shows you that she's, like, I did a lot of speed for a long time. And you know what? It comes off a lot faster than that. And you don't look as nearly as healthy as she does when you do that. So you're saying that you think Adele is as good and as do it, like, because I think I've always thought Adel was gorgeous regardless of how, like.

I think she's gorgeous no matter what. But, yeah, like, when she was fat, I thought she was absolutely gorgeous. And so if she has, I'm looking at pictures like, like, horrifically, if you search Adele, the first thing that comes up is weight loss. And it's all like, ooh, did she do something bad? Right. She did something bad. But it felt so good.

I'm seeing the positive of it. Yeah, those two are. I'm seeing the positive of it. I won't let these people get me negative. Interesting. You sound very negative, though, while you say that. Cry it out, cry it out. This B-list actress, all of you know, with A-plus-list name recognition because of who she married, very important, who she married, is spending five figures over the next two months on PR to land an acting gig or host.

I see infomercials in her future. The B-list actress, but she got super elevated because of her marriage. She was on a show that was recently remade in a way that Jackie doesn't like. She has a weird smirky mouth, and I'm like whatever about it. The guy that she married is kind of creepy, and he's known for jumping on a couch very exuberantly. Wait, who is Tom Cruise dating? No, no, no. Who was he married to?

Oh, Katie Holmes? Yeah. She's that bee list. She's not smirky mouth. Yeah, she has a weird smirky mouth. Thank you, Molly. Yeah, she has a little smirky mouth. She was on the cover of InStyle magazine doing a full photo op and interview,

and she doesn't have a whole lot going on. She just wrapped on a film adaptation of The Secret. Ew. Oh, wait, the book of The Secret? Yes, there's a film adaptation of the secret coming out. What? What I will say, and it wasn't her fault, and I don't like to say this very often,

but the boy too sucked and she tried her hardest in it I will give her that is that what they were talking about what are they talking about in the thing that that she redid that I didn't like I don't know no no they're just saying she's spending a ton of money on PR trying to make it look like she has a lot going on but she really doesn't because she's just fishing for bigger acting oh I mean she was in the boy too that was nothing how dare you have you seen the boy it was a sequel to a for a horror There was a sequel, but the boy is great. The boy is great.

And it's fun. So, but that one, the one that she is in, no, is bad. It is bad and she's bad in it. All right, here's number three, okay? Stop screaming in terror. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Which illiterate reality star from a family, so first letters, names, from a family of reality stars is cheating on her husband.

with one of the people who is on the legal team of the rapper whom her husband hates. This is a complicated one. So I will make- Kim Kardashian. Yes. Who would she be, so obviously Kanye West. And she's fucking a lawyer from the legal team of a rapper that he has a feud with. Extra bonus points, if you can name the rapper he, Kanye has a feud with. Do I have time?

Meaning there's like a lot of them, aren't there? I don't know anything about Kanye. One name rapper. He was on a show. He was in a... Drake. Yeah. So this led me down such...

One name rapper, he was on a show. I got it. I did it. I get extra points. What do I get for my extra points? He was... This led me down such a worm time hole of Drake and Kanye's weird feud. I will say, Drake really seems like he started it and...

F trying to keep it go. You know what I mean? There's one of those things where it's like, Drake. Drake is like Nick Cannon. He's trying to feud and he doesn't have the chops to feud. Yeah. It's like, why do you keep popping off about Kanye? Like, Kanye seems to be kind of cool with you.

And then you keep saying weird shit in interviews and stuff. But also, Drake has had a ton of issues with his initial label. That's why he has this big law team and they've been doing a lot of court stuff. Drake released Summer 16. This was my favorite part of the feud when I went down my worm time hole. Drake released an album summer 16 Or a song Summer 16 on which he made Quite an odd claim

This is the rap lyric Now I got a house in L.A. But I got a bigger pool than Yeh. He rapped at one point And look man, Yeh's pool is nice Mine's just bigger Is all I'm saying And then yay when asked about it

Kanye responded I have three pools I know Kanye I know Kanye is like So weird now, but I am just, I cannot root for Drake. I can't. I know.

I don't root for, I have no dog in this, or I have no horse in this race at all. I have dogs and horses in it, and I also threw a chicken in it for fun. It's interesting, race. I'm guessing the chicken lost. The dog came in a close second. I suppose that the blind items are complete, but fear yourself, fear yourself, for I'll be back next week for more. It is kind of nice that I'm more scared of the blind items than I am for my current reality.

So that is good for us to remember. Oh, yeah. I bring in the scary ones. That is fun. And also everyone's just like, no, you have to stay in the other room. And then they do, do, do, do, do. George, come on over. He's scared to be around me because of the germ germs.

Then they just have an all-night fuck session. And that's every celebrity right now is doing that. You don't know anybody named George. Can you even imagine, like, I. I imagine Lexi trying to cheat on you right now being like, Holden, I just have to go outside for a while. No way. Are you kidding me?

Although Jeff has been working every day, so maybe should I start tracking his phone to make sure that's where he's going? Sure, yeah, because you're scared to leave the house, so he's definitely has options. That's all I'm saying. Don't say these things. I'm kidding. He's so scared of you.

Just like every other man in your life, he's so frightened of you. It'll never happen in a million years. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark. That's why they're scared because I bark and it's worse than my bite. Thank you guys for sticking it out with us this week. And we are here. We are going to be coming at you with so much content.

It's going to make your ears bleed. And because I don't know what else to do with myself. Hell yeah. This is super fun now. Is that too truthful? Sure. It's fun. It's nice to be.

It's nice to be together. Absolutely. It's so good to see you guys. It's so good to see you guys. So don't forget. Get a Netflix party going, everybody. Let's stay positive. We can get through this.

We're doing everything that we can. And hopefully, I believe that tomorrow, we're going to have a little fun audio book beginning surprise for you on Patreon. You're just going to patreon. com slash page 7 podcast to check that out tomorrow. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me in my weird quarantine videos at Jack That Worm. My name is Holden-McNeely.

Check us out. Twitch.tv. slash Holdenader. So Jackie will be joining me and every Friday to do Jackany, 6 p.m. ET. But also, I may zoom her in during my ring fit workouts for her to make fun of me while I do it. These sorts of things. Maybe Molly, I could get you in on that too. But, yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun.

I don't know if I want to watch him do this. You want to watch it. You're going to love it. And I am MJK LKat on Instagram. Hell yeah. We love you guys so much. Please stay safe. Wash hands.

We got this. Stay home. Yes, stay home. We love you. Stay home. We'll talk to you next week, babies. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you.

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