Page 7 - Episode 350: The Jacktor Factor

Episode Date: April 23, 2020

We recap April Reals Day plus we're obsessed with Stanley Tucci's instagram and Val Kilmer's bonkers memoir. Jackie commands you to read this article -> https://bit.ly/3eISdSNJoin the party! Support us on Patreon to get bonus episodes. Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In honor of 420. Rise up this morning. Smiled with the rising sun. Three little birds. Swinging sweet songs. Melody is pure and true. It's harder than you think. Saying, this is my message to you.

Oh, oh. Singing don't. Bo da-da-da-da-da-da-up. Because everything. Bada-da-ba-paw-poh. Do you're killing it today. Smoke a doobie for post 420. 422 just as important.

Smoke a second one for if you participated in April Reels Day. And here we are. Jackie, take it away. Welcome to page seven, guys. Holden just had a different song second of his head because I unfortunately have had a weird mashup of how far I'll go from Moana and the boom, boom, boom song by the Vanga Boys stuck in my head that I've made this mashup myself.

I keep singing it to, you know when you sing a weird mashup of two different songs to yourself to a point that I'm worried I might have to be committed into some sort of mental hospital to a point that all my roommates know the mashup, my partner knows the mashup, everyone in the house. I'm worried they're going to kill me in my sleep. And you know what? I'd completely understand.

I'd wake up. My eyes would open up as they were about, to like fully slice the rest of my throat. I'd go, I don't understand. But those are two terrific songs. Can you sing the mashup for us? Yeah. Well, it's, I don't know the words of all far ago.

So this is part of the upsetting part. Just make it up. Just make up words. And they say, boom, boom, boom. Let me say, wayo, way, oh. And so there's not enough. There's not enough of either song. There's no reason for the matchup.

And I can't not sing it like that. And no one knows. Boom boom, boom. Let me say wayo. Because in my brain, the boom boom boom song can be lifted and placed like a little angel baby atop a pillow of any song of your choosing. And if you guys want to try it, you're more than welcome to. That's fantastic.

Jackie, originally, and I did a quick audible to Three Little Birds. I initially was going to possibly do a maybe funny, entertaining, but still sad version of soon you'll get better because I cried my pants off watching Taylor Swift perform that on the Global Citizen Fest hosted by the three guys that do the shows. Molly, by the way, we should introduce you. Oh my God, does he work in pop culture?

He's so knowledgeable. Oh, my God, Colbert, Kimmel, and Fallon. It's like, whatever. Never with them. But also hi Molly. Molly's here. My name is Molly Neffle. I feel like I could add into Jackie,

if you're open to adding one more song into your mashup, Freddie, my almost two-year-old is very into the Shakira World Cup 2010 song. I think it's 2010. That goes, Waka, Waka, Waka, A, A, Waka, A. And then it goes, this time for Africa. It's a song about the World Cup in Africa. And Freddie loves it.

And she frequently requests to walka waka as a song. And then recently her mind was absolutely blown when our next door neighbor in the hallway, next door neighbor in the apartment was playing that same Shakira song very loudly. So she just like pointed at the door. It was like, waka, waka, waka. We were like, indeed. That's awesome. But I feel like it would fit into your.

Yes, waka waka. It would fit. Shakira would fit in nicely. No, I think it definitely would. I'm going to start working on it. I'll start doing it. I'll be like a little Paris Hilton over here. I'll be DJing all the songs.

I'll do my mashup. I'll play it for Freddie. I'll see if she's into it. I feel like the way that you just described Freddie doing that makes me realize I am the Freddie of my household during quarantine. And I think that's scary to liken yourself to the same brainwaves of a two-year-old child. You're just walking around the house going. Boom, boom.

Boom, bum. Boom, bum. Boom, boom. Boada. As me coming from North Carolina, it's boom, boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom. Boom, come into my room. And I'm boom, boom, same with how you say bagel.

Don't you say, no, Kistel says bagel wrong? He says bagel. Bagel. But that's a northern thing, but I say garage. You say so many things wrong. What else is there to say? But I say garage. Garage.

I see. Garage. His is, you know what it is? Holden, you say. Speaking frog speak. I imagine that you were like a frog turned to do a person, but not turned into a prince. Like you're the opposite of that. Hold on.

How do you say... A rat taught me ninja abilities. How do you say the word that you write, you write with not a pencil but a... Vagina. You silly boy. A pen. Okay, you say it right. Because a lot of Southerners say...

Yeah, I don't say pee, it would be way more effort to go pee. Pee! Pee! or like Kissel's first name would be Ben instead of Ben Ben you know Ben Ben I kind of like Bein though

I hey Ben I do call my refer to my fingers as my little wussies Oh yeah because once your little wussies start climbing up into you And you go get out of their little

Wussies They get out They get big and strong and mean Once they do that Jackie They go right They get all confident But until then it's like

Oh can I please can I please With my little Wussies Can I have have a woozy? That's always what I'm saying. Yeah, if you want a wussy filler, we can talk.

Oh, God. Can you fill me up with gravy, please? Oh, my God. If I can't make a turkey, I just want to pretend I am a turkey. Food cravings this week. What are we talking about right now? What do we crave it? I want sushi. I've been wanting sushi. You've been wanting sushi? It's weird. It's like a pregnancy craving. I feel that I'm just like, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. I want that and everything I eat. I go, it's not sushi. I don't know, but I'm having. I'm having sushi.

tantrums lately. I'm a monster. You are a two-year-old. I'm having tantrums. I am a two-year-old. Except that a two-year-old can't get inebriated after celebrating April Reels Day with their friends.

Now, Holden and I celebrated April Reels Day, April 19th. And I'm going to throw it out there, guys. One of the rules of April Reals Day is you have to be in the same room. Let's break it down. Let's break it down. Let's break down the whole... I'm sorry, but what was your take on not being in the same room?

We can't do it again if we're not in the same room. We can't do it again if we're not in the same room. It's not as effective. No. It's not the same. It's only for this. Unless a fucking super flu happens again, it's only entirely necessary.

I will say, I feel though, it was a flaming success. Yes, you should always be in the same room. But of course, I was unable to fly out to L.A. for the day like I was originally planning on. So we were, literally was just going to go out there for that. So we ended up, you know, not in the same room. But here are the rules. April Reals Day.

I think one of the best ways to refer to, ways to, describe it is you have to say something to your friend or some things in jack you know's case we do a couple of them that you're afraid on a normal daily basis you are afraid to tell them you're even afraid to tell them on april's day it's scary but it's coming from a place of love it's coming from a place of self-improvement from a desire to see them be better be a better human being and not a fucking piece of shit and i think correct me if i'm wrong but this was something we discovered last year we created last year and you guys pioneered it last year. And I believe that where we kind of landed was you have to find the space. People can go play the tape back from last year. But I think we found

the space between like, like, I hate the way you eat pizza versus like I hate your wife. Yeah. I hate your fucking wife is the, too much. Is the like example of going too far. And if you go too far there are repercussions, but essentially you want to say something to them that's coming from a place of love, which that wouldn't really be, that is also about them becoming up, them growing as a person, but also doesn't cross the line into friendship ruining territory. I mean, you might hate someone's wife and they might need to know that in order to like get to a better place in their life, but that's not what April Real's Day is about. You need to have that as a separate conversation. No, if that was, this is what I said as an example.

example of like, okay, let's say I did, in this case, hate Molly's wife, right? But I wouldn't say that. I would say, I think the way you handle conflict with your wife, especially in public, especially when we go out to that macaroni grill we always go to. Oh, I love the macaroni grill. Is, is a problem. And I think you need to work on that and not take it out on the waiter. You know what I mean? Like that would maybe be, that would be a constructive. way to say in so many words, I have an issue, I take issue with your wife. But it can't be, the problem is your wife's not in the room. So it can't be, I don't like your wife.

It has to be what are, what is up with you? You know what I mean? But this goes to, and I'm sorry to go down this riding road, but it's tough because sometimes your friends have things that they, like, like that I hate your wife example. Like, maybe the way to say it is like, I think that you like don't seek people. who treat you correctly, right? Okay. There's ways to tap.

See, this is a thing. It's the nuance of April Real estate. How do I say these things and tip, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Right. It's around what you're actually meaning because you're trying to say in a constructive way. Right. But I also don't want people to think that this is about passive aggression. No.

This is not about passive aggression. This is about saying to someone directly something that they could improve on, you know what I mean? but I think the real key is it has to come from a place of love. It has to come from love. And so last year, I brought up Jackie Smoking. She quit this year.

She quit throughout the year. I'm almost at a year, yes. She called me sexually frozen, and at the time I felt like that was crossing the line. So this is what happens is you have to offer your, you have to have plastic hands or some sort of hands made out of some device. Try to stay away from paper because we don't get paper cuts. uh,

some kind of hand made out of you could, I think we should make ours ourselves for next year's Jackie. But I've got the hand clappers. I have, I bought 25 of them. But this is the thing. If you make it yourself,

then when, if the person gets slapped, it gets slapped with like this unique. Oh, an extension of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

It's, yeah, your love, your power, everything. It makes it a little more magical, right? Yes. But either way,

she used a plastic hand slapper. I had to just like fashion one out of nonsense here. And, uh, if, if you say, will you accept my reel and if the person says yes, they take your hand, your plastic hand from you. Consent

is a very big part of April Reels Day. You can't just have someone come off, come home from work and be like, I wish that I could take out your eyeballs because your eyeballs are filled with mistrust. April Reels and then just like say April Reels. That's not yet. It's got to be, I consent to your reel. You give them the reel,

staring them in the eyes. And then they're holding that hand. If they feel like you went over the line, you get slapped ceremonious. with the real hand. So I felt a little left out this year because I wasn't, we weren't in person and Holden and Lexi gave each other April Reels and they made each other cry.

But not in bad ways. Not in a bad way. Like in ways of like understanding of like thank you for talking to me about this kind of way and it was a beautiful thing to see. Now we had it up on the Twitch stream. It was an organic, amazing thing. But I didn't make Holden cry at all

and that pissed me off. I was like, I guess I got to get more me. Yeah, I mean, that's not true. Or more love, right? Because my thing to, yeah, my thing to Lexi was, it was about, like, her and the way she sees herself and stuff like that. And I don't want to get too into it here. You can go watch it.

But it came from this big, giant heart place. You know what I mean? Yours were great. I mean, yours were solid. Well, Molly, don't worry. I yelled at him for both of us that if he has another pandemic flu or if he has something like that, that he has to tell his co-host. Yeah, and Jackie needs to get better to say no to people and better at

conflict resolution. It is true. It is true. And I'm fine with that. I need to say no to more people and stop saying yes all the time. But also, Mali, I want you to know that now I think as three co-hosts, we need to have better communication with each other.

Yeah. Okay, I'm sorry. I lied about having the superflu. Well, technically you didn't lie about having superflu because I didn't pointedly ask you if you had the superflu. But now every day I wake up, I call Holden on the phone. I see, Holden, take your temperature.

And he takes his temperature. And I've been writing it down in a log. I'm keeping a log. Holden's temperature. 98.1. 11. It says 98.11. I don't know if that's, I mean, maybe you can.

I don't know anything about numbers. And I'm using the ass thermometer too, because I want to really show her my dedication. I am shoving that big, so deep up there, it can see my stomach, bro. It's more accurate. And so overall, I'm really helping them trying to become less sexually frozen because I'm opening, holding up to new ideas. Yes, that also is true. Anyways, solid April Reels all around.

A great experience. I'm just hoping, I think we might go bigger next year. We're definitely going bigger next year. But Molly, do you have any April Reels for us? Do you have anything that you need to get off your chest? You can't, you're just invited me to violate the rules. We're not in the same room. I don't have a, you all don't have your hands ready.

I feel like you know what? I need you to write them down and put them in some sort of vault. I need you do an April Reels vault. In fact, I think I might need to do an April Reels vault throughout the year. like I do with my Christmas presents, I think I need to start writing down April Reels for people. Yes. Because it's very nerve-wracking.

Molly, you just experience a glimpse of it. The whole day of April Reels, I'm just like, I don't know what to say to Holden. If I have a problem with Holden, I tell him. Yeah, that's the good thing about you two doing it is that you are already pretty radically honest with each other. So, like, I think that's good because you can be radically honest with each other, but it also means you probably already said everything that you need to say to each other.

And the problem is it's that it's it's kind of like the ones I gave her It's that like you know that's kind of in the back of your head But there's never like a specific instance necessarily To be like you need to work on that you know what I mean like I there's not really an instance where I'm like You should said yes to a thing you should have said no to Jackie like throughout the year you know what I mean It's just like a broad thing I know You know what I mean and it's less even like her Her saying yes to too much stuff doesn't really affect me personally that much.

Right. You know what I mean? So it's also not necessarily something that grinds my personal gears. That's good, though, because it's more just out of a place of love for her. Yeah. Yeah. Like her smoking. It's not like I can't stand to be around Jackie when she's smoking.

It's not that. You know what I mean? It's literally just like, you got to, come on. You know what I? It's time, I guess. So when are you, when am I going to say that to her other than on April Real's Day? I hope other people start celebrating it. And maybe we'll do some sort of like big event in the future.

But if you did celebrate it, let us know. We'll try to really kind of lay it out a bit. I feel like it was snuck up on us this year. I feel like we should in the week leading up really get the word out about it. Well, because quarantine. I think we can blame almost anything on quarantine. I wasn't thinking about fucking April Reels day. It's hard to reel somebody that you're stuck with.

Yeah. And it's also hard to reel somebody over, you know, over FaceTime. But I do want to participate. As I mentioned last week, I am scared of it. Yeah, you should be. I have a deeply Midwestern sensibility where we struggle to not only to embrace conflict, but to even admit that conflict is a thing that happens. And so I am scared of it, even though I know it doesn't have to be conflict,

to just being honest with somebody, it doesn't have to be conflict. But I do want to participate, especially if I could be in the same. the same room. I mean, at this point, I'll, I want to be in the same room that you two so bad. I'll just, you could just insult me and take away all the rules. So I'll just, you know, whatever. Next year, next year we could just be together and we can all just, you know, no holds barred April wheels and it'll still be like the best time we've ever had because we can't be with anybody right now. If you do something like that, I feel like it has to end in like an it style orgy. You know what I mean? Like if we're going to do that, then it's like, well, now we got to do

the real proper ending of it. Everybody start having sex and this. sewer. Sorry, spoiler alert. I will say to, you bring up a good point, Molly. There's just so much nuance to a good April reel. And one of those things that I would like to bring up as a bad example of an April reel would be, you know, back in January when we got drunk and you fucking pissed me off. That's, you know, fuck you. You know what or something like that? Like bringing up some fight or something.

Did I actually do that? Did I do that? No, I'm saying it's not about a fight. It's not about like. You never fight when we're drunk. We're always happy when we're drunk. Yeah, totally. No, no, no.

I'm just saying, like, it's not about that kind of thing. That's not an April Reel. An April Reel is like, I think you need to, you know, work on your, like, honesty or something. You know what I mean? Just something like that. Like, you need to work. You need to, when you're upset with somebody, they need to know it. And you need to, I think you need to work on that.

You know what I mean? Like, that's an constructive April Reel. Right now is even though I am not into Negronis. Stanley Tucci is a fucking cocktail I'd like to slow. Oh my God, you'd like to put his cock in your tail, am I right? We must discuss. Please, right now, Stanley Tucci put out this Instagram tutorial of how to make a Nogroney.

I am not a Nogroney fan. Holden, you've actually made me, or was it Lex that made me one, a delicious ngroni, and I still am not that into it, and that's okay. That's exactly how I feel. Even a really well-made Nogroni, I'm like, it just tastes like Kampari, you know? Yeah. And it's just Nikampari's my thing. I get that it's for some people, but I will say that watching Stanley Tucci made said,

make said Nogroni made me want it. Can we talk about, did you know how fucking low-key juiced Stanley Tucci is? He's jacked up. He's actor-jacked. Wow. Right? Yes, he is. Because he's got that jackeder factor.

He has to be in shape. He has to be in that particular shape for his job. I think if you're really taking yourself seriously as an actor, depending on what type of character you're playing or whatever, I mean, you're always kind of working on it. He, though, is toit. He is tooit. And hopefully, I'm assuming that he is tooit

because of that movie Supernova that he is in with Colin Firth. And when they go on that road trip, and I think one of them is dying, and they're in love with each other. And it's going to be very sad. And I'm going to watch the fuck out of it. But I just think it's kind of fun now because I feel like people are finally realizing

that Stanley Tucci is a goddamn meal. And you're welcome. Yeah, people are really freaking out on Twitter about this video. And there is sort of a sexual salivation happening, I feel like, in the essence of the world right now. And I think that's beautiful. Also, Nogronis don't mind them.

Lexi fucking loves them. Really? My wife loves them. The kind of drink for me, I can have one, but I'm probably good after like one. I want to switch to something else. Oh, can you imagine having more than one Nogroni and then being like, oh, no, I'm drunk on Nogronies? And then the next morning you'd wake up and just like everything, you would just be like oozing the groney out of your pores, you know? Like, I don't want that.

I don't want a Nogroni hangover. No, I imagine I would wake up the next morning on my lawn just like crying and saying, I'm a groony girl. I'm a groaning girl I never want to sweat out Kampari is all I'm saying But maybe that's just because I'm a crazy girl But I will say this quarantine is making your girl a bit of a nerd girl Because I wanted to share with you guys I feel like I'm talking like Alexis and I don't want to

Wow you're such a dork you do my favorite thing that I'm such a dork I know I'm doing it on purpose Who like Harry Potter say about themselves Nerd girl I'm such a dork I like Harry Potter. I'm such a dark. You are a dork for liking that very wildly popular franchise.

And they're staring at me and I'm like, I've put over a thousand hours in a Final Fantasy 7. And it's not a competition, okay? But I just want to say, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 19 years old. And I put over a thousand hours in a Final Fantasy 7. So let's have a conversation. Good girl.

What are I going to do? Oh, my God, am I going to start watching a cartoon? No, it's because I... And that is caliphate! That's exactly what it is! I watched... In one week, I watched my first Star War. I watched my first Indiana Jones,

and I watched David Lynch's Dune. I have fully... This is really what happens when you get down to the one-for-one game of I will watch something you want to watch and then you will watch something I want to watch. What are you forcing Jeff to watch? I mean, I'm not really forcing him to watch anything. All the things that he wants, like all the things I want to watch, he also wants to watch. But now it's like, well, again, this is the time to do these things. So I watch my first Star War,

hot take, little boring. Interesting. What did you find what part? The really fun part or the really thought provoking part. I can weigh it on this too because I recently rewatched episodes four and five and it's like I'm with Jackie. It's not, I don't know, you go first Jackie. Well, so yes, I watched a new hope. You know what it is, is that I was watching it and I'm getting like the look at of like everyone wants to see my every reaction while I watch it.

Fair. But it's not like I don't know what happens in stuff. Like I'm aware of Star Wars. I can make my jokes. Of course, I will say, I went in hot out of the gate immediately making jokes. And I was told that I had to purse my lip and pay attention and watch the movie. Fine. Fair.

I'll give them that. Number two, I think that I thought a lot of the things that happen in Star Wars happened in the first one, but they don't happen in the first one. They happened in the other ones. Yeah. And I was like, isn't there more? I was like, I want more lightsaber. They have the one, but where's more of it? It starts low key.

I could give you that. I think that that movie structurally is very, very, very good. No, it's a very good movie. I'm not saying it's not a good movie. I mean, I'm almost afraid for you because Empire Strikes Back, I think you're going to find to be a lot more. I don't want to use the word boring, but it's just a lot more just contemplative and stuff and just, I don't know.

I fell asleep during Empire Strikes Back on New Year's 2020, and I think that my husband is still holding it against me. Whoa. Yeah, I bet. It's the dark one, though. I rewatched them because Lexi had never seen them. And I even was like, man, this is really like, you really kind of got to be ready to watch Empire. That said, I'm actually more interested about your next round because the, it's Temple of Doom, right, is the second Indiana Jones,

is considered the low point of the trilogy. And Empire Strikes Back is generally considered the high point of the trilogy. Ooh, okay. So I'm interested to see how you react. I'm guessing Indiana Jones Raiders the Lost Ark fared a bit better for you? Well, I will say no one liked my Where's Hayden Christensen jokes because I said that many times. Because I will say I did watch that one where he's all evil because I really wanted to have sex with Hayden Christensen. Right.

But that's just because of the movie life is a house and that's a whole other ballgame. But Indiana Jones, I will say, didn't know Indiana Jones was a professor. I didn't realize he was a professor. It belongs in a museum. Oh, mamma me. I get it.

I get it. I get it. I get it. And as someone that was a Disney baby, I've seen the stage show, and I kept saying, that part happened in the show, which again was to myself

because nobody cared. And I would just thought, oh my God, Hachi-Machi professor, to the point that I had to pause the movie and ask my roommates and Jeff if they had ever had sex with a professor before,

that is definitely in my fucking wheelhouse of things that I wish I had done more of. Right. And he's, oh my God, with the light shade of beard. And that he also on the side fucks internationally and goes and gets things for museums. Yum. Yum. Slurposaurus. I mean, I love both trilogies, you know.

I'm not like Mr. Star Wars guy. anything by the way so I just want to throw that out there no I know that's why I know this is a safe space I know that either one of you guys are gonna be like fuck you put her on the the put nail it on there right on her on her on her breast oh on her cross cross but I am married to mr. star wars guy I know that you're not Mr. Star Wars guy holding because because I know a Mr. Star Wars guy and yeah the experience that you described Jackie of watching a new hope I had seen it before but not since I was like, you know, 10 or whatever.

And watching it with somebody who's sitting next to you, staring at you with anticipation of like, do you love it? Like, every single one. And I'm just like, it's, I understand that this is a great movie. I get it. For me, it's like cilantro. Like, some people taste it and some people, or, you know,

they like, it tastes like soap. Like, I just like, I told, like, with this and many other nerd things, like I can recognize that this is like a, quality, enjoyable, well-acted. Yes, I care about the characters, but it just doesn't, like, stir me. You didn't see it when you were 10.

That's the thing. If I saw it when I was 8 years old, I would flip my fucking shit. No, I did see it when I was 10, and I didn't care then because I was, like, living in a fantasy world of tap dancing. But for me, most people, yes. See, you like tap dancing, though. You're already running a grassroots organization at 10 years old.

You were too busy making phone calls or something like that to be bothered. with. No, and we were watching horror movies at that age. So I had no desire to watch Star Wars because I was like, I was like, I want to see more people like, I wanted to see more violence. I wanted to see something more scary at that age because we were so obsessed with watching horror movies. Yeah. Yeah, so it's a bit different. That's why I think you're immediately also, again, going to take towards Indiana Jones because there are these like fun horrific moments. Temple of Doom is a lot of fun. I still think. I, people, some people, Some people shit on it, but I think it's like, it's very cartoony.

It's very over the top. The second one, but Jackie. I love all the shadows with the hats. Every time you see the shadow with his hat, you're like, oh my God, there's the hat that I want to be on my floor. I'm sorry, what were you going to say? Jackie, Harrison Ford, and his father is played by Sean Connery, last crusade, and there may be a love triangle there. with a smoke show blonde Nazi. It is one of the best action movies, like, ever.

It's so good. Yeah, baby. I probably like it the best out of all three. I feel like I just need to start swinging on ropes. You know, and not like in an aerial workout type way. I just want to start swinging on a rope and just start, like, laying amongst the trees, just being like, Indy, I'm not. the artifact.

You could dust me off and put me behind glass. I'm going to start screaming that in the park. You're an animal. Yeah. You're an animal. Yeah, I'm a woman animal for a professor. Jackie. Hi, be stars.

Here's a question for you. Do you want to bang Harrison Ford more as Hans Solo or more as Indiana Jones? Indiana Jones hands down. Yeah, Indiana Jones. Yeah, because Hans Solo, spoiler alert, but this was my big takeaway from watching Star Wars recently is that Han Solo is a major dickwad. I do not like that guy at all.

Your eyes are just walked in my kid. Mr. Star Wars guy just walked in the room. He heard me shit-talking his best friend. What's your least favorite thing about a new hope, Molly? What's your least favorite thing about the first? No, New Hope is totally fine and good. And I agree with you. The structure is great, which is why the Force Awakens was the same exact structure,

and it was also very good. I have no... Backtrack. I can't remember if its empire a New Hope when Han Solo keeps fucking negging, Leah,

like, and being a little dick and I'm like, can you stop? A thousand percent. He negs her the entire time like a fucking men's rights activist. Like, I cannot stand this guy. Oh, he's agreeing with you. He's like a super cool dude.

See, that's the thing. I am not, I am not, a thousand percent, Molly. I am not into negging at all. I don't, I don't enjoy it. I understand. my people do. I say mausel for you. That is not my fucking thing. I like to treat a person like they are on a pedestal and I expect to be treated the same way. So that's why I'm not into Han Solo.

Yes. I don't want someone like talking down to me not into it. Even though like I know it's like and then of course it is the whole thing where it's like yeah, but you don't understand it's because he like sees her on the same levels. Like I don't give a fuck man. You want to fuck me? No. This is the thing. I feel like I can't remember. I wish I could remember which one it is. But it sets up a total, we've talked about this on the show before, the nice guy thing where nice guys are like, women only like assholes. And then they feel like they're like very like persecuted by women not liking them

because women like assholes. Holden, I believe you've copped to being one of these boys in the past. And I feel like- Yes, nice-guy syndrome is what it's called. Nice-guy syndrome. And I feel like Luke and Han and Leah's thing is set up to be like, like nice-guy-s syndrome.

syndrome where like Han, I mean, and granted, it's obviously not going to work out between Luke and Leah, but like Han is like an asshole to her and she's like, oh, I like him. And I feel like this is like one of the like biblical texts of like girls like assholes, you know? And it's like. Because I feel like Leah would not like that guy because he's too much of a dick, you know? And I feel like it's a real original girls like assholes text. And that made me frustrated. Even though I don't, please don't come at me. Star Wars is great. I like Star Wars. My recession music at my wedding was Star Wars. So I'm not trying to raid on anyone's parade. I just found that I was surprised because I know everyone loves Harrison Ford as Han and thinks he's such a sexy beast and whatnot, which he is. But I do not like his, I do not like his character being such a like mean boy, you know? Right, right. Yes.

But you like, of course, when a man, to go on a date with you, he has to like cry in front of you. Right? And then eventually be like, will you please fall? You know what I? I'm like, yes, I implore a date with you. Yeah, I like a sad boy, not a mean boy. No, that's why I know you would want to have sex with Legoshi on B-Stars. I know you have to get the council to agree to watch B-Stars,

and I imagine they won't. So you are going to love Legoshee because, oh my God, a wolf with heart and with grit. I can't let go. I love the idea of Molly's apartment at like 8 p.m. They light candles. They put on like brown hoods. You know what I mean? And like stand around in a circle with like their hands up like this and just like do this whole like film or television watch watching choosing ceremony.

With like a goat head. They like spin the goat head and like whatever it stops up. You have to make your presentations. I feel like we did similar type of things when we were like when we only had one TV to watch of put. like putting out your presentation of, I think we as a family should watch this tonight because, didn't you guys ever do that of doing like, trying to convince everyone to watch something with you,

of something you want to watch on the big TV in the living room? Well, it used to be, too, that you didn't even have Netflix or anything, so you just had the DVDs on your shelf. And I remember with, like, I remember specifically having this issue almost every night when I lived with Ed and Carly. Yes. I lived with Ed and Carly, and every night.

to be like, all right, guys, what are we going with? And we just start, like, naming movies that we had DVDs of while looking at them, and everyone just be like, no. And then, like, and I remember one time this was the movie, okay? And I know it's like, problem bag now, whatever. But this is the movie. It was interiors by Woody Allen, the drama interiors by Woody Allen. And Ed just sat out loud.

He's like, I'd watch interiors. And we were like, yeah, let's watch interiors. He was like, really? And we just sat and watched this, like, weird, sat. sad movie. It's kind of fun though because I don't know about you guys, but we're getting to a point where like we've watched so many movie trailers and we have come to the point.

That's why we did Dune and Star, the first Star Wars and the first Indiana Jones because you get to a point where you're just like, I don't know, man, this. This is something that I want to watch. So you just play it and you just hope for the best. And then halfway through, you're like, why are we? I mean, we did this last night. We hit an hour and 45 minutes. It's a Dune.

and I was like, why are we doing this right now? And I felt the need to finally watch it because of all, I keep staring at the picture of Oscar Isaac as Lido Atreides in The New Dune that they are filming right now with the one with Timothy and Zendaya and Jason Momoa and Stellin Scarsguard and Josh Brolin. And I was like, I want to want to watch this movie. I'm never going to read Dune.

And so Henry explained Dune to me and I decided to sit and watch the David. Lynch Dune, which I know the Dune, the obsessesors of Dune, the books are not happy with the David Lynch original, but as someone that knows Jackal about the books, I thought it was fucking Ersum Sers, but I also had someone describe it and explain it to me

for an hour before I watched it. Yeah, I need to go back because I have, when I watched it, I got way too high back in high school during like a summer camp thing. And honestly, like, Back then when I got high, it was like my brain exploded. It was like I was on 10 hits of LSD. You know what you just smoke some weed. You'd be like out of your mind.

So I had no idea what the fuck was happening. And now I've since read the book, so I should really go back and rewatch it. You really should because now I'm weirdly obsessed with it. And I'm not going to, I'll never be a Henry about it. But he described it in such a way that I was like, I do want to check this out. This world sounds very interesting to me. And I know that the David Lynch one. is not quite what the books were asking for.

But it's the closest they got. Yes. And I thought it was creepy. I was, there's so much that happens that it really does all of a sudden that was like, that was two and a half hours

and I didn't even realize it was two and a half hours because so much happens. I really recommend it. I'm throwing it out there, guys. Nerd girl, Jackie Zabrowsk of recommending Dune. Well, can I bring up a cool kid thing

because you sent me? Cool. Initially, I was, like, so uninterested in this article you sent, and then it was one of the funniest things I've read. It's, and this really, is, so Jackie. Are you talking about the Val Kilmer article? To pull back the, the velvet cloth a little bit, the curtain a little bit, Jackie will send us these different articles that we may or may not talk about. I'm forcing us to talk about the Val Kilmer article because there is a section in it that I found to be so hilarious in which he invoher. Shakespeare in order to, so that Iceman can talk to his own father.

I will read this in just a little bit. It's so funny. I actually, I'm going to send this link to Mary. And I think if we can, Mary, if you could put this in the show notes so everyone can look at this link. This is so gripping. That's why I included it, because I don't know what there is, it is this interview with Val Kilmer that is off the fucking rails.

Well, I think it's an excerpt from. his autobiography called I'm Your Huckleberry. Oh, yes, it is. Is that what it is? Yes. Yes. So this is his memoir. His memoir came out very recently.

And this is an extra from it. So he talks, and this article is him talking about the portion of it that talks about him being Iceman on Top Gun. But he writes it in such a way that you hear Valcomer's voice. It is so like self-serious, but it's charming at the same time. But it is so like full of itself and hilarious. So could I read this? Could I read this?

Please. Are you going to do your best Vell Kilmer? Because I am weirdly intrigued. If I can even, I don't even know. It's, yeah. As filming went on, I grew more serious about my on-screen character. He's talking about, by the way, Iceman from Topta. Yeah, the story, his career, you mean?

Yeah. As filming went on, I grew more serious about my on-screen character. Even though I could play an arrogant jerk in my sleep, I actually found myself looking deeply into the sky. What made him arrogant? The question intrigued me. I thought about it for a long stretches of time. Even dreamed about it.

And then, without any forethought, I applied whatever I had learned or unlearned at the Juilliard school. Whatever I had read of Stanislavski and Suzuki, whatever natural instincts I had, and brought it all to bear in Tom Iceman, Kaczynski. I became so obsessed that at one point in my trailer, I actually saw the way Macbeth saw the ghost of Banquo. Iceman's father, the man, my imagination told me,

who had ignored his son to the point where his son was driven to prove himself as the absolute ideal man. So real was the elder, Mr. Kaczynski, that I saw him take a chunk of ice and chew on it with like a wild dog. Whoa. Which inspired by improvised ice chewing and teeth chopping moment in the film. Oh, it's from his father. The ghost of his father.

I even spoke to him. As Iceman, I asked him, what do you want of me, Dad? He answered, to stay on your journey. What journey is that, I asked. A journey, he said, for the clergy. You're on a journey for the clergy. I'm not sure I understood that exchange,

But I am sure that this encounter with Iceman's father imbued my character with greater Fiori. Oh my God. He is not too serious whatsoever. I kind of want to read it now. It's so crazy. I also kind of want to read it because it's just, it's such a nuts. It's a nuts fuck. He takes himself so seriously.

And I just brought up the way it's just like you really need, I always have to tell myself, even if I'm tired of it, like, you have to. have to read the entire article because that was near the end. And I was like, I can't now. I didn't even think we'd talk about it today. And now I'm like, I have to bring this. It's gold, dude. You're welcome is what, you know?

So crazy. Banquo and McBet. This is why we have to be thankful for Jackie's worm times because she finds the gems. And I got to say, I'm not surprised. There's something about Velkimer where I'm just like, of course you're like this, you know. Right. Of course he is. But he's been out of it.

I know he's been sick for a long time, but he's getting better and he's working on all of his shit. And I don't know if I, I mean, I'm not going to say I don't know. I know I'm not going to read, I'm your Huckleberry. Is that what it's called? Yes, I'm your, I'm not your Huckleberry. I'm not your Huckleberry. I know that I'm not going to do that. But I did, speaking of theater kid things real fast.

No, I'm sorry. I'm your Huckleberry. Yeah, I would feel bad to get that wrong. No, because everyone's going to be out buying it right now. I don't waste any time. No, the one thing that I did watch completely is Catherine Hahn and her daughter and her husband did this excerpt. This is great, guys.

They did an excerpt of Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross, all made with American girl dolls. And I talk about commitment. Talk about commitment to them. Their roles, even the little girl, it's all bleeped out, but still you can say that, you can see that they're saying the words. And what dedication that her husband came in and like they're reading the all the behind the seeds, things they're doing like, they did.

It's great. They recorded it as part for the Geffen Stay House, which is a video series for Los Angeles Geffen Playhouse. And I believe that Catherine Hahn is a part of that she was. works with this, playhouse fairly often. And, you know, it's just a delight. It kind of made me want to watch Glenn Gary Glenn Ross again, but I don't know if I want to.

Same. That cast, man, though, is fucking bananas. Is it, like, is it something you rewatch? I've seen it. Lexi hasn't seen it, and she's such a theater person. Oh, she should watch it. Oh, she should watch it. Al Pacino, Jack Lemon, Alec Baldwin, Alan Arkin, Ed Harris,

Kevin Spacey, but still, he's a really good actor. Yeah, K-Pax, obvi. Yeah, it's unbelievable. That is crazy. Like, just Lemon and against Pacino. Yes, please. And Alex Baldwin? You're right. Maybe I will watch it again.

We'll go down to a fuck territory. But man, using American Girl Dolls as the cast is really one of those things where, like, I know there's been like perfection in internet videos for a long time, but it's one of those things where, It just reaches like a new level of satisfaction. And I'm so frustrated that like I didn't think of this first because it's,

there are so many American girl dolls that really like it's just a perfect like medium to do art, you know? Well, especially they have so much of a background because of the amount of little props and shit you can buy for your American girl dolls. The whole catalog. Yeah. Yeah, I also loved how. And I'm sure that's their like names that they come with. But they did a curtain call at the end. and all of the dolls had names like, like,

Samantha was mine, yes. Yeah, yeah. So it was like they introduced like Susie as, you know, whatever character they were from. That was very good. I really enjoy that, especially I would like to think is they bleeped out the curse words, but I would like to think that they let their little girl

actually say the words and not just like. It's theater. Yeah. You can say whatever you want if you're doing theater? You have to say it. So when can I start convincing you guys that, um, Beyonce and Jayzee are members of the Illuminati? Is that now?

It's now. It's now. All right, cool. Celebrities, conspiracies. All of these things are true or false. Boom, boom, boom, let me say, well, well. That's not a part of the song. Oh, I'm sorry.

I was just, I thought I was doing the match show. I thought I was DJ Paris Hilton for the episode. We are now, what, you know, I'm just going to barrel through. We're now on. I'm DJ Paris Hilton. I am the DJ. I get to do, I get to do, We are now on. I don't like mashups. Okay, I'm not a girl party fan. Okay. Girl party is great.

Girl party is great. I feel like you're just a naysay. It's called girl talk and it's the best of music. Well, I'd rather go to girl party. I'd rather girl party is his new side project. I'd rather girl party because that's where the party with all the girls are at and I want to go there. I can't believe you don't like girl talk. Hold then. I'm kidding. I love girl talk. So here we go. Celebrity conspiracy number two. And of course, at the end, I will always ask you a true, you know, true or false yes or no. Do you believe it?

I will be trying to convince you now. The Illuminati. Interesting. A secret society founded in 1776 in Bavaria, what is now a part of Germany. Oh, we're going way back is what you're saying. Yeah, way, way back, way back. Okay. Okay, okay.

All right. A brief history, if you will, very brief. All right. The society's goals were to oppose superstition, obscurantism, religious influence over public life, and abuses of state power, and to, quote, control them without dominating them. Interesting, Molly, you see what they're doing to us? Oh, I see it. I see it.

I've seen your tweets. I know you're keyed in. Essentially, they wanted to take control of the world. Secret societies were later banned, but fraternal organizations like Osay the Freemasons, which originally consisted of stone masons, continue to thrive. And that is where the Illuminati members would go to meetups and recruit new people for their secret group. Now they have to be secret. Boom, boom, boom.

What? What's that? I don't know. And this is how they are linked to the eye. That is how they are linked to the eye of providence symbol, that eyeball on the pyramid. dollar bill you mean on the dollar bill and everything that is that is a freemason thing that is now connected to illuminati so when you see i don't know someone hold up a triangle symbol with their hands i thought that was a vagina thing no i thought that was pro pussy i thought that meant pro pussy um oh okay well then i should change my hand symbols yeah you need to look you need to look at some

hands fingers i'm doing it right now no that's like oh yeah because i was you know when you put your thumb meats to thumb meats so you just have a tiny hole with your thumb meats. What are you talking about? You know what I mean? When you know when you do that? When do you do that? Yeah, when do I do that? You know, I don't know.

Like when you're partying, when you're a girl parties. You go to your girl parties, you put your thumb meat vaginas up. Jackie's depravity is disgusting on every level. All right, so anyways, that's the symbol. You see it on the Dumbull. It's the triangle, it's the triangle. It's the triangle. The triangle in general is a symbol of it or whatever.

So interesting how Jay-Z uses that as a hand signal in his concerts. He had an astounding rise to fame, and of course people blame it on the Illuminati situation. Jury's out on that, okay? I really like his music, so it's hard for me to blame on the Illuminati. But he got platinum album after platinum album, and there were many skeptics that felt this was attributed

to his association with him. the Illuminati. And Jay-Z also has a hand symbol. He calls it the rock symbol. And it is in the shape of a triangle, though Jay-Z refers to it as a diamond. They hold it up in concerts, and it is to signal to other members of the Illuminati,

his utter devotion and to get other people to, of course, become part of it as well. And then this is from an article in the Philadelphia Weekly. It says this. The rumor-mongering is ramped up so aggressively. It spilled over. into those around Jay. Kanye, you can check the symbolism in his power video

or the 30-minute runaway movie short film music video. Rihanna, her rude boy is steeped in Masonic imagery. Go check it out. Everybody go look it up. And Beyonce, whose videos and costumes for alter ego, Sasha Fierce, is ripe with Illuminati symbolism. Oh, she got triangles on it? All over herself.

Of course she does. And also when she turns to Sasha Pierce, that's a demon taking her over. But we'll talk about that in a second. Oh. Yeah. Even, yeah, it's very sexy. It's very sexual for you. Yes.

Even Willow Smith, daughter of Will and Jada is not immune. She was signed to Jay-Z's Rock Nation. So naturally, she's a part of the Illuminati too. But I digress. Let's talk about Beyonce. Beyonce flash the diamond during her Super Bowl special. This was to give a shout out to their fellow. Illuminati members, which include Lady Gaga, Madonna, and Kanye West.

Also during her performance, she used the colors black and white, along with flames, which is Satanic, and therefore, of course, signs of her being with the Illuminati. Yeah, of course, yes. When she performs as Sasha Fier, she is transforming herself using Illuminati witchcraft to achieve demonic possession. Beyonce said, I have out-of-body experiences. This is straight from Beyonce. If I cut my leg, if I fall, I don't even feel it. I'm so fearless.

I'm not aware of my face. my body. That be as a demon is taken. Oh my god, it's because she's built with demons. Well, this is the biggest one. Okay? Are you ready for this truth bomb? Yeah. Her baby's name. Do you know her baby's name, ladies? Blue Ivy. The other one? Blue Ivy. Now, what? She got two more. No, blue Ivy. Yeah, she does have the twins. Yeah. Well, whatever with that. I don't give a fuck about that. Whoa. Go I'm around the backyard like a baseball. Isn't it interesting that do you know what Blue Ivy stands for?

Molly and Jackie. Blumenadee. Ivenomadi. Kind of, close. Wow, Molly. Born living under evil. Blue. Born living under evil.

Okay. And for Ivy, Illuminati's very youngest. Eliminati is very interesting. Oh, yeah. Yes. Oh my God, it makes so much sense. And you can go on YouTube and find,

find this, but I will just say right now, if you play her mega hit all the single ladies backwards, you will hear things. You will hear lines such as this. Lean on me. People are scared. Yes.

The world will bow to Lucifer. Oh my God. The world will not have fun. Oh, no, but we love having fun. Wait, did she bring on the pandemic? Maybe. Probably. I can see it.

Whoa. It's Illamini. The world will bow to me. Not interesting. Whoa. That interesting. Last but not least, people's tears fall. Well, that's like a gravity thing, but yes.

I don't know, but anyway, it doesn't even sound like it. It doesn't even sound like it. But let me, so I pose, after I've stated my theory to you, I pose to you this. Do you believe Jay-Z is a member of the Illuminati? Can I have one clarifying question first? Yeah, sure. What I keep coming back to, and believe me, I'm very interested in conspiracy theories. I think they're a lot of fun

but what I keep coming back to with the Illuminati is what is their like mission? Is it to elevate Lucifer? No. Like what's their mission statement as an organization? To control them without dominating was the basic phrase from the original Illuminati. Okay.

So in other words, to secretly essentially take over the world. Okay, got it. And have full control over the world without anyone knowing who's in charge. Okay, got it. But there's no like, There's no, like, God that they are specifically driven by?

You know, I'm, I feel a little called out right now. I didn't figure out how at all Satan has to do with the Illuminati. And yet it just sort of slipped in there during the, but that's, I don't play for that. I think it's a rich text. It's a rich, you know, text, uh, field that you would need to mine through. And I don't expect you to be an expert. But that's just something I've always kind of wondered, like, what drives them.

But I see it's about power. I will happily. figure out the connection between Lucifer and the Illuminati. I will absolutely do that. All right. Yeah, I'll ask your, well, what I will do is I'll ask Jackie's brother as well. Do you have Henry come on? Yeah, we'll see.

We'll see what Henry has to say about how a thousand percent Beyonce and Jay-Z are members of the Illuminati. Well, do you believe it? Do you believe Jay-Z is a member of the Illuminati? Yes. I'll go with. Molly, remember born living under evil, Illuminati's very young. youngest, remember.

I will go with yes for Jay-Z. Do you believe that Beyonce is a member of the Illuminati? I think the whole family, all of them. I'm going to have to split my vote and say no. No.

I think the Beyonce is too good for it. Whoa. All right, I'm going to do a bit of a lightning round. So Jackie, you answer first, Molly you answer second, but we'll do it as fast as possible. Okay, I'm just going to name

celebrities that people do believe are members of the Illuminati. You just say yes or no. No, okay? Okay. Okay. Adam Lambert. Yes.

No. Too lame. Nikki Minaj? No. Uh, yes. Adele? No. Tom Hanks.

You know? Yes. Definitely. Wow. You know what? Alicia Keys. No. Oh, yeah, yeah.

No, no, no. No. She's just, no, she's beautiful. Too nice. Eminem. No. Although after that little performance, at the

at the Emmys was it? No, was it the Oscars? The Oscars. Oscars. The Oscars. Yeah, the Oscars. Yeah, the Oscars.

Yes. After that little performance, I could see that as a way to try and get some power back for him. And I could see maybe he's trying to get back into the good graces of the Illuminati. How about Emma Watson? No.

No. Although she is infiltrating the government, but I will, I will, that's a digression. That's a digression. It's true. Will Smith? I think, yes. I think the entire Smith family, I think they definitely could completely take control

and everyone would hand over the keys. And then all of a sudden be like, oh, no, what did we do? Yes. Lady Gaga. No. Yes. Madonna. No.

I think maybe she was and then they gave her too much moo-moo juice or something. And then finally she's just like, maybe her head. Maybe that's why she's gone so squunky. Maybe she's gone squunky for Illuminati. I think yes. The last one, and I'm not making this up, but was actually on the list that I looked up the entire cast of Boy Meets World.

Oh my God, can we do a whole episode devoted to that? Because I know a lot about all of the cast of Boy Meets World. I would love to talk about that. Wait, does that include the many girls that played Morgan, his younger sister? I think that's part of the conspiracy. We should look this up, Jackie. I think part of the conspiracy is like,

you think we wouldn't notice that you replaced Morgan with a new? Morgan. Whoa, you're right. You're right. You're right. I mean, I guess I agree with that. We did notice.

And there's no question that Fred Savage got so weird throughout the course of Boy Meets World. So I think something was going on. 100%. Well, that is it. Thank you so much. I'll be back next week. I think I already have my topic, actually. It's going to be Britney Spears the operative.

Ooh. Although I think that was Ben Savage, but I think that that is. part of what the issue was, Molly, though. But I think that's part of the issue. I, you know what? Slap the Savage family on there. Slap both of them on there because I can see as a part of the ways of taking over specifically Hollywood of what they were attempting to do.

And maybe they went squunky for Illuminati. And that's, you know, they fell off, man. Yeah. I can see it. Yeah, because Fred Savage didn't get squanky, but Ben Savage got real squanky. Yeah, dog. He got fucking squank dog, a thousand percent. But now, well, we gotta move.

We're moving right along because it's time for the list, guys. Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. So this all started because Jeff was telling me about a movie. I don't know. I imagine you guys have gone down these quarantine worm times with the people that you are trapped with. Of the, like, have you heard of this movie? Explain, explain, explain.

And then the other person goes, I don't know, what the possible fuck you're talking about. Then you find a trailer and you go, oh, Christ, this is a movie. So this conversation started with the movie, the seven faces of Dr. Lau, which I have never heard about. And Jeff had watched it a lot as a kid. And it is, I was like, do you want to watch it again? He's like, no, because it's very weird. It seems very, I mean, I think it was like in the 60s or the 70s, so I think it was a different kind of racism. And it is, even, please watch the trailer.

trailer, the seven faces of Dr. Lau, because even the trailer alone is quite a festival for the eyes and for the ears. But today's list are people shared movies that they began watching but couldn't finish. So this is definitely a, it is a popularity contest for movies, but a lot of the movies on here, I completely agree with. Number one, 2003, Gile. Jeely. I have never, I remember seeing all of the trailers for it. I was a big Benifer fan, and I never watched Gile. Did you guys?

No. I still don't know what it's about. It sort of doesn't know. It doesn't know what it's about. Right? Isn't that kind of the point? Like, it's like sort of a romance. It's sort of a crime movie.

It's sort of like a crime movie, yeah. It's sort of, it's all across the board. I think they just thought they could put them into anything together and everyone would buy tickets for it which I guess is sort of true but not really. I mean I'm still weirdly interested in watching it. Yeah, we should at some point. I will watch it.

Yes. We should have a quarantine list of movies that the three of us watch like the things like the types of movies that I've always been like, oh, I know I need to see that movie or nobody should see that movie but like that's what we are watching. That would really help me.

Are you saying right now that you want to put Gile on the list because I'll put Gile on the list. You want to watch this by next week? You gotta convince the council though, Molly, and you might have to make some sort of tri-board to get them to watch Gile, but maybe, right? Yeah. I kind of wanna watch Gilee.

Okay. All right, guys, we're going to, this is locked in, we just locked it in. We're going to watch Gile by next week. And may God have mercy on our souls. Number two is, of course, our beloved cats. I'm actually shocked this on this list. I get it.

The movie is a fucking nightmare shit show, but I could not look away. I was completely transformed. Yeah, this doesn't belong on the list. It's a mistake. Yeah. No, it doesn't. We also didn't get to the fact that one of the scoops I had sent over to y'all this week was Hugh Jackman finally admitted that Tom Hooper had asked him to be a part of cats. And he said no.

And because they had worked together on Les Mis. And Hugh Jackman says that he just didn't have time to do it. which I'm sure he probably just didn't have time to do it, but now I imagine he is knowing that he missed a bit of a stinker to be involved with. Just because I imagine the shooting probably was a bit of a fucking nightmare. Let's get back to this list of going overboard Adam Sandler's first movie. Never heard of it, but I will say I'm into young Adam Sandler, so I'm not saying I wouldn't give it a shot.

I mean, I'm sure it's no Billy Madison, but you might get some yucks out of it. Yeah, you think I'd get a yuck or two? I definitely wouldn't get a yuck or two out of scary movie five. Didn't know they made so many of them. I'm so glad those fucking dumb movies don't come out anymore because they made me lose my faith in humanity that people actually went to the theater and saw them

and rented them and actually thought they were good comedy in any level. It just depressed me. Epic movie, scary movie, all those disaster movie. It just made me, it was like, this is such an obvious formula. This is so, this comedy is so bad. I mean,

I did like the one, isn't Chris Elliott and one of the ones where he's got the tiny hand? Wow, Jackie. We're, okay, okay, then we're friends, maybe friends at this point?

I like Chris Elliott, okay. That's the status now. Status is friends, maybe friends. I just get moved off of your top eight. Did I just feel your most type of, the top eight?

I'm bringing the top eight back. I'm bringing the top eight It costs so much trauma. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. It costs so much unnecessary trauma. I'm just going to create a top eight on like a website, like a Squarespace website or something. And just like post it every week and just keep changing it and moving it around.

Put Jackie on it for like 10 minutes, but then take her off. Oh my God. By the way, I guess we should explain MySpace, which predated Facebook and everything. Everybody knows MySpace. It had eventually a feature called your top eight where you put your top eight friends and it was the ultimate way to passively aggressively tell someone you were mad at them. It was so funny. I used the shit out of that tune.

I really like the demotings were real. Oh, yeah. I was the perfect age for it. Now, I wouldn't say I wouldn't watch this, the mummy tomb of the dragon emperor, which came out in 2008. I did not hear about this movie, although Jeff did buy me a really great shirt that he bought us matching shirts

and says it has a picture of Brendan Fraser from the original mummy on it and it says the mummy more like the daddy on it and that is definitely I think the best shirt I've ever seen. I'm surprised that 50 Shades of Gray is on this list. Yeah, I watched it, I finished it. What did you think? It's terrible, but like, I don't know,

I mean, it's not so bad you can't finish it. I don't think it's got the guy who's in it is so fucking dreamy, just finish it for that. He's the guy from the fall, you know, that Irish guy. It is sexy, right?

Though? It's like very, like vanilla is not even. It's like plain soy milk sexy, you know? Yeah. I like the tweet here. Because this is actually

was brought up to me not too long ago. I was out as soon as she walked into Christian's office and tripped over nothing because, you know, she's just so corky and clumsy. And someone else was furious

about that moment, about her just walking in and there's nothing to trip on. and she just, she just magically trips. Because she's just like us, size. We could be her in this.

I can't believe you skipped. We can't skip down sizing. I can't believe it's already been three years since downsizing came out. Hasn't been three years since downsizing. Oh no. Is there, was there a different movie called Super Small Me?

I don't think so. Wait, no, Super Size Me? No. It was like, maybe downsizing is what I'm thinking. of but I remember the yeah because there was not two Matt Damon vehicles about shrinking him right no it had to be who knows it had to be downsizing in any case I remember seeing the trailer for this movie and being like really I don't know why I thought it was called super small me that would be a better name than downsizing but I remember vividly seeing this trailer and being like they're

really going to commit to a whole movie about this huh and the fact that Christoph Waltz is in it and Kristen Wiggs in it's like I just I love them all right and I respect them, mild-mannered therapist Paul Safranek and his wife, Audrey, decided to undergo a process in which scientists shrink people down to miniature size to live in small communities. The irreversible procedure allows the people to gain wealth and a life of leisure while helping to cut down on the consumption of natural resources. As Paul gets to know his new neighbors and surroundings, he soon learns that living in a tiny suburb comes with its own set of huge problems.

I would watch it. He was nominated for a golden globe for this movie. They truly made this movie. They cast it. They put people in it. They filmed it. It is, it's about little shrinking people. I cannot believe they did it.

I'd rather watch a movie about shrinkie dinks come to life. See that. See, come to me for ideas. Mean Girls 2 didn't even realize there was a mean girls too. And yes, it looks awful. Yeah. The emoji movie is on here. even though Jeff Ross, a friend of ours, is in it, I do remember.

Oh, no, Jeff's... I'm sorry for Jeff. I love you, Jeff. I mean, what is it better? Everyone knows it's not a good movie. Everybody, yeah. It won the Razzie Award. I think it won multiple Razies, the year that it came out.

But you know what? It also came out the same year as downsizing, so maybe it just wasn't that great of a year of movies. Yeah, it's the year. And I remember the movie. movie Noah, everyone tried to get me to watch. Now, I'm a big Russell Crow fan, and I really, it was Ed. It was Ed.

Ed was like, give a chance. It's so good. It's Darrenovsky, maker of, you know, Requiem for a dream. I love Aronofsky. I love his work, and I saw it. I will say I was on a really good movie because it was on like a beach trip. I enjoyed it. Okay, well, I mean, you were on a beach trip.

I'm kind of surprised to see it on this list a little bit. I don't think it's fucking an emoji movie. Whoa. You know what I mean? It's weird to see those two movies on the same. list for anything. Yes, the same on the same list as Battlefield Earth, which the only reason why, I've watched Battlefield Earth

multiple times, but I will also say that includes the amount of times that I have stopped it and couldn't continue watching it, because it's long. I just have no desire to see it, and maybe I'm wrong, but according to this BuzzFeed list, I'm not wrong, so welcome to

my heaven. Oh my God. There's a tiger in here and he's, oh, sweet Lord, he's clawed out my eyes. Oh, no. Oh, no. I think I'm going. Blind, exotic. Wait, items.

That's what we're going. Oh, we can't see them. I'm so sorry. What happened to you? I got, I blanked out. That's okay. This A-list celebrity who is really only that high because of who she's married to, shots fired, wow, has always been an Adderall addict, has always had an Adderall addiction.

Being in isolation, though, has cranked that up and she is up 20 to 22 hours a day every single day. A-list celebrity, you said, right? Yeah, because of who she's married to. Chrissy Teigen. Yes, I was about to say, I will say, they only just linked her Twitter as the link to help confirm that, which is so funny. Why? Because she tweets? They'll usually, they'll usually, linked to something, but she's been tweeting like a psychopath. Like, if you go on there, you're like, oh my God. So, apparently, yeah,

apparently, crazy. Love the Rawl-Roll. I just want to bring it up to give you a little trip down memory lane, Jackie. Down my memory lane. You know what? I still do love the roll roll, but it lives in my past. Could you fathom being an Adderall

junkie right now, dude? It would be so tired. Yeah, it would be a dark time. The opposite of what I want from a quarantine, you know, I really... Right, right. I'm trying to sleep most of the day. Yes, exactly. I'm getting great sleep right now, you know?

Same. Honestly, same. All right, moving right along, keeping it choppy. People are finally catching on to the scam of this former A-list female fighter. The fact people were paid to take a dive so she could rise up because she was so popular now. Because she was so popular. Now, she isn't so popular. and has squandered what was given to her. The only female fighter that is a household.

Rhonda Rossi. Yes, absolutely. Rhonda Rousey. Rousey, Rousey? I read it. I never say it aloud. I'm not talking about Rhonda. I don't know how much I believe that people were taking a dive for an MME, but I will say. She was so strong. I will say, though, that I mainly bring this up because she also got into a ton of heat recently. Because she, you know, she went into the WWE.

Yeah. She went into professional wrestling. And she ended up stepping away from it because she wasn't honestly the real reason she wasn't that good. But on her way out, she said she enjoyed, quote, having fake fights for fun, which made a lot of people pissed off. In response to the heat, she took to Instagram and had this to say. Anyone who was outraged by me calling pro wrestling fake fights for fun has never been in a real fight. While you all are tiptoeing around bruising some pro wrestlers, huge soft egos, no one is thinking about all the real fighters you're insulting when pretending pro wrestling is somehow on the level of realism.

Yes, I understand wrestling 300 days a year for years on end is incredibly tough on the body and a difficult profession. But do you know what it would happen if you got in 300 real fights a year? You would be dead. Whoa. That's kind of a fine statement. Shot's fired. Yeah.

Yeah, man. She seems mean. I mean, she gets beat up. She's okay. I think she's allowed to be mean. Maybe, you know. I don't know if they are still allowed. Can they still juice?

I think people juice. Yeah, I'm sure people juice. Right? I mean, I would. I just, that's my problem is why. We're talking about hanging out with O.J. Simpson, right? Yeah, juices us. That's why I don't juice because I feel like I just wouldn't work out enough.

And then I just get fat and angrier. And I don't need to get fatter and angrier. With like acne and I don't want, yeah, that's not something I'm into. Last one, ladies. Okay. Okay. More and more, this is a great one. More and more of the story is coming out about how this former A-list movie actress, who is an Oscar winner slash nominee slash very important part of it slash snake oil salesman, destroyed a great Broadway production by inserting herself in the stuff she didn't know.

Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth Paltrow and the musical is called A Head Over Heels. Have you guys heard about this musical failure? No. Tell us. Yeah. So apparently, dude, I looked everywhere for the post. I'm sure it's somewhere, but also I stopped looking when the person immediately deleted it from Facebook

and clearly didn't want it to actually get out there. But creator of Avenue Q, Jeff Witty, posted a scathing Facebook post about Paltrow and the other collaborators of the musical flop, which has since been taken down. So I couldn't find it also out of respect. I stopped looking not too long into this whole thing. So apparently head over heels, get this, was a jukebox musical that was, based on a 16th century long prose pastoral romance called the Countess of Pimbrokes Arcadia, which ran on Broadway from July 2018 to January 2019 featuring Go Go Go's songs, primarily Go Go's

songs, such as we got the beat, vacation, and heaven is a place on Earth. Wow. This is making my brain hurt. That's just a lot of information to process. Yes. It is so insane sounding. It was a total flop. and apparently Witty ripped into Gwynette Paltrow

and seemingly everyone involved in the production and it was her and Donovan Leach that were producers on it. Oh, so she was a producer. She wasn't in it though. No, but apparently she was like inserting herself into it. Oh, man, all the music and the lyrics were done by the go-goes. Yeah, it's a jukebox musical of go-go songs. Oh, gosh.

Based on a 16th century romance romance called the Countess of Pimbrokes Arcadia. It sounds like a great idea, honestly. If Goop would get her hands out of it, I'll bet that it would be an absolute winner. Avenue Q! He's the best.

He also, is that the same guy? Did Book of Mormon with the South Park Boys? He's great. You know, really what they need to do is that instead of just putting roller skates on their feet, like they do in... Starlight Express?

The Starlight Express, thank you. What they should do is they should also have skates on their hands like the wheelers in the sequel to Wizard of Oz. You remember the wheelers, like the creepy ones? Yeah, I hated them.

Yeah, they're the worst. I think they take that musical with the go-goes, make the Juke-Bock musical, but make them all dress like wheelers instead. Now that's something I would love to watch Quedith Paltrow in. Well, on that upsetting visual, I can see again the tigers

Put the eyeballs back in my face and I can see blind items are over. And this show is fucking over. So get over it. Let me hear you say way-o. I feel great. DJ Jackie taking the scene. Boom, boom, boom. Let me hear you say way-o.

Come on, guys. Way no. No one knows. How far it goes. Oh my God, it's such a good goddamn song. It's a really good time. Watch Moana. It's on Disney Plus.

Real girl party happened. Yeah. We love you guys so much. Thank you for joining us this week on page 7. We're having yucks. And I, wait, what's next week's conspiracy theory? Oh, my God. It's how Britney Spears worked for George W. Bush as a secret operative.

I am excited about it because if there's one thing we know, it is that Britney Spears does not wear her heart on her sleeve. leave. And there is definitely, she is layers, layers of a spy. And I can't wait to find out more about that next week on page seven. I love you guys. My name is Jackie Zbrows. You follow me on Instagram at Jack that world. Check me out on Twitch. Twitch.tvon.

Twitch.com. Also, please check us out on Patreon for just $5 a month. You get them weekly episodes. It's so fun. It's so good. It's so great. please check us out. Patreon.com. 4. slash page 7 podcast.

Molly. I am M.J.K. L Kat on Instagram. We love you guys. We'll talk to you next week. Bye. Bye. This show is made possible

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