Page 7 - Episode 352: Down Under Ding Dong

Episode Date: May 7, 2020

We ask the big questions this week: Is Paris Hilton an energy vampire? How much does Elon Musk love cocaine? Is Katy Perry JonBenét Ramsey?Need even more hot goss? Check out our Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When you're feeling sad and low, we will take you where you got to go. Smiling, dancing, everything is free. All you need is positivity. Colors of the world. You're supposed to sing it. What is it? We are the girls? Spice up your life. Oh, okay.

Colors of the world. We are the girls. Every boy and every girl. Say it. Sweeten up your life. life. People of the world. Sweeten up your life. To the front.

This song has been in my head for two weeks straight. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. It's going back and forth between Spice Up Your Life and Fernando by Abba. And I don't know what my brain is trying to tell me, but I think it's to

shake it loose a little bit more. Okay. We're getting shucking because it's May, baby, and I'm ready to dance. Welcome to page seven. Let your freak flag fly, which is what they used to call my penis in college. I think that's what we still call your penis. Welcome, guys. I'm Jackie. You know, I'm just singing. I'm Molly and I'm just listening. Whoa. You're a good listener, and that's what's magical about you. And it's really important in a podcast to never speak.

And just listen. I will say that Molly is a very good listener. Yes, definitely out of the three of us. Molly is by far the best listener. Oh, yeah, for sure. Every time someone else is talking ever in my head, it's just like, me, me, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, my thoughts are mine. Hi, I'm Holden McNeely, whatever.

You know, I feel like people, I feel like everybody that's listening needs to know. Because if you're not a part of our Jaconese community, Holden and I do our Jackanese Twitch stream every Friday and he says whatever to me a lot and I think that you guys need to know it's because he puts me in whatever jail a lot if I'm saying something that he doesn't enjoy he puts me in whatever jail and I get whatever

and the bars get clunked down I have a little jail I have now be after last stream I now have these jail bars that I can literally just slide in front of Jackie whenever I want because whatever whatever whatever and I'm not being put in whatever jail on this show I refuse to be no bars it's no bars whole held he's doing the I don't know you let's see hand emotions Molly yeah now that we're not recording in Skype we can't Holden doesn't have his Skype emojis to silence you with right we're doing Zoom right now my computer exploded my PC

exploded. Molly, I don't even know if you knew this, but I, yeah, so I am now, at least for now, I'm using laptop. It is laptops. Why can I talk? Laptop. Like a caveman. Like a cave dude. Going, I don't want to get too techy right now, but going from PC back to a Mac makes me one who get bitten by a vampire and be cursed by immortality. Oh, that would be, are you watching season two of what we do in the shadows? What we do with the shadows? Oh, M-G! You had to No, my sweet sir, pie, I've gone hard. I'm obsessed with Matt Berry in that fucking show. He's so good.

That show, I don't think the show could be any more perfect. It is what I've been living for week to week since it has been coming out. I get so excited when the new episode comes out. When does the new episode drop technically? Because I just check every now and again to see if there is one. Wednesday nights. Wednesday nights. Okay, good to know.

But actually with Hulu, not to do. to get too techy again. Oh God, are we? Is this a twice episode? In like three minutes. You're like not to get too techy. No, no, this is good. If you wait one day, they scrub the commercials.

If you wait one day, they won't have commercials. What are you talking about? I'm telling you. Is that true? Yeah. This is a conspiracy theory to me. I think it's a conspiracy theory. Because I think it like becomes a streaming show after the first day.

But for the first day, it's like a TV. It treats it as. a TV show. What is this a Radio Shack podcast? Can I, look, look. What do I have to get out my, my cords, my H-DMI's? All right, let's talk about it. Let's talk about what is the Peresilton's Tech Radio Shack. Parasilton made artwork, and it's very good. Some of it's bad, but some of it actually would, I would purchase her skull piece. I will say that. I would purchase her skull piece.

Paraselan, Parasilton, Parasilton, if you say it three times, page seven reinvigorates itself. Oh my God, hello, Paris Hilton. Bears Hilton just showed up in my house. Get out of here. I'm sliving. She just wants me to come and slive with her. I'm ready to fucking slip. I feel like it would be hard to get her to leave once you do invite her into your home, much like a van.

Like what we do in the shadows. I feel like a vampire. She is, she might be an energy vampire, to be honest, because she's really, really draining to watch. She's so low key, dude. She is low to the floor. She would win a limbo contest every time out of the gate. I love it. So, yes, we are talking about Paris Hilton has come out and started talking about her artwork.

It definitely reminds me of like a Britney Spears type artwork, which I don't know if you ever followed Britney Spears's artwork because most of it was her painting butterflies. And it does look like a child did it. And I'm not saying that in a judgmental mean way because of anything I would draw would also look like even less than what a child. It's not like if Paris decides to start trying to put this in an art gallery and sell it for thousands and thousands of dollars, I'll definitely feel a different way about it. But it just seems like she has a creative outlet that is incredibly healthy and exactly what everyone should be doing right now. Finding some way to express yourself and find peace through art. I mean, and honest, some of it I'm kind of down with in a certain way. Like the emoji one is very pop art.

She makes a lot of collages. And we definitely, you know, our good friend Carly Goodspeed, who also does a Twitch stream with Holden McNeely, makes awesome collage work. She puts so much work and time into it and makes these beautiful, complicated pieces. And then it's Paris Hilton, cutting things out of a magazine, gluing them onto a poster board that probably could sell for thousands of dollars. And it's just things like that where it's like, it's just a bunch of pictures of like pretty things and watches. and then Sonic the Hedgehogs in the middle of one of her collages. They painted a cat. Yeah.

Have you looked at the cat pictures, Molly? I love the cat picture. I think it's great. The one that says it's just three cats and it says sliving. Sliving under you. It's like a thing that a second grader would draw. There's three cats with a rainbow and a sun and some flowers. It is very nice.

I think that she's doing a good job. I think it's wonderful because a lot of it, you can tell it comes from a within where she's trying to make these mood boards. Have you guys ever made your own mood board? I'm going to go with no from me. Is that a no on that one, dog? Is that a no for me, dog? Like, wait, wait, is a mood board different from a vision board?

Good cue. Interesting. Yes, I think it is. So describe the difference. What is a vision board? What is a mood board? I feel like a mood board is more of like what's going on in the inside. So if I'm making a collage right now, I would definitely make a collage-filled.

with hot dogs and my little baby Kiwi bird and, you know, the taxidermy mouse that I have sitting on my desk. These are the kinds of things. I think it's of what you're living in right now currently, and I think vision board is what you hope to become. Can I make a little correction? It's what you're sliving in currently. Thank you.

You're right. You're right. You are right. And I didn't even get put into whatever jail for that. Oh, my God. Well, that's not even close to what puts you in. whatever jail and you know what puts you in whatever jail and everybody else knows and everybody's been talking about it behind your back. Molly, is it true? Everybody has been talking about it. He has

been texting me. I want to be texting. Yep, Sondra talked about it. Piny talked about it. No, you mean J.C. Linnon? Linnon talked about it. That was a J.C. Penny joke. Did you get it? Whatever. Everyone's always making J.C. Penny jokes. Now you're a whatever jail. JCPin Don't get it. Click, click, click. They have great coupons and they have great essential fashion. Shout out to Jackie for a Radio Shack reference and a J.C. Penny reference, really bringing in the kind of late 90s peak, you know.

At one time are we living in? I don't even think radio check exists. J.C. Penny's, you know, and in an empty mall right now. I love a J.C. Penny. Oh, my, I get the text. I love a J.C. Penny. I get texts from J.C. Penny whenever they're having a sale. and I stare at it because, man, the coops are undenoyable.

This is something that I've been thinking about, J.C. Pennings, and Sears because I've been reading the book Corderoi to Freddie, and I don't know if you guys remember the incredibly sweet children's book Corderoy, but in it, is that like Corderoy the bear? Yeah, the little bear. And he... Doesn't he, like, die by brutal, like, kniving or something? What? Absolutely not.

You must be able to... Paddington or another bear, the Volatile Habit maybe. It's Pacted. He got gunned down. I forgot, yeah. It's rough, man. He thought that raincoat was going to save him, but it fucking doesn't, dude. Now, Corderoy is about a little bear who, nobody, he's in a department store, a la J.C. Penny or Sears.

And he probably, you would say Marshalls or Bloomingdale's, but I didn't have those in Dubuque, Iowa. So my references were J.C. Penny or Sears. And he, nobody wants to buy him. And then this little girl sees him and she wants him, but her mom says no. And so then that night, the mom won't let the little girl buy him because he's missing a button on his overalls. And so that night he gets down from the shelves. Yeah, but that's how you get a discount. You go up to the person using this bear doesn't have a button.

I want a discount. I get this woman on the phone. I know how to get a discount. So anyway, the quarter right goes up the escalator and then he sees all these like, beds and couches and lamps and stuff and he thinks he's in a palace. But it's just the floor of the department store. It's just like Sears when you go up the escalator

and you see all the chair, the furniture section. And this was exactly what the Sears was like in the Dubuque Iowa Mall. And so when I was a little kid and I read Corderoi, I was like, yeah, he's like in the upstairs of the Sears. And it like was so specific, like I had a real life thing to relate this to a department store where there's all the beds and lamps and whatnot.

And I'm like reading this to Freddy, And I'm like, there's no department stores. Like, I mean, right now because we're in quarantine. But even before, like, there's, like, she's not going to know what is what the, like, references here. Because she grew up in, because she's going up in New York. Yeah. There's, yeah, there's not, I'm not taking her to, like, an apartment store where you go up and see the furniture store, you know. There's, like, Raymore and Flanagan here.

But, like, it's, so I'm like. I love Raymore and Flanagan. I love Raymore and Flanagan. I love Raymore and Flanagan. I always say, hey, can we make this an arbor and Flanagan. an R&F day. Wait a second. Y'all are dropping R&FRFs

and yet neither one of y'all gets put into whatever jail, but I bring up a JCP and I'm the one that's penalized for it. Raymore and Flanagan is much, much more relevant reference than JCPenney. Is that true? Also, I have to throw this in there.

I now realize that Jackie reading a bedtime story to a child essentially will consist of one actual page of reading and then 30 minutes of just commentary about the one page. Of course. You can't do that. That's how you get a discount. Yeah, you got to get a discount.

Look, I'm changing this up a little bit. The bear gets and the child gets a discount. And then I'll rewrite it as like, oh, it'll work on my improv skills. See, really this will be good for me overall. Yes, reading. Have you read them the Velveteen rabbit yet? Oh, classic. Not yet, but you know, Gideon has a velveteen rabbit tattoo.

It's a devastating... Really? I didn't know that. Yeah, it's a tramp stamp. I figure. Yes. There is nothing sexier than the velveteen rabbit. He's got a velveteen rabbit tattoo and I've got a runaway bunny tattoo, the other devastating children's book about rabbits.

Not to mention the country bunny in the little gold shoes, which is another devastating children's book about rabbits. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The country bunny in the little golden shoes? Yeah, I don't really remember what the country bunny in the little gold shoes is about, but I remember that it was really sad. It sounds like he stole those fucking shoes, is what it sounds like. Or am I being country classist right now?

Maybe. It was, I remember I loved the illustrations. Okay, so the country bunny in the little gold shoes is a 1939 children's picture book. It's about cottontail, a small brown mother bunny who aspires to be an Easter bunny, which is highly competitive and only five bunnies are selected each year. She applies to be an Easter bunny only to be scorned by the elite Easter buddies,

big white bunnies who lived in fine houses who tell her to go back to the country and eat a carrot. Oh my fucking God. The book is country classist then. It is. She returns to the country where she, by and by, she had a husband

and then one day, much to her surprise, she had 21 cotton tautent. babies to take care of. She brings them up very well, teaching them to be responsible, self-reliant, and cooperative by requiring them to be in the vegetable garden and with do the housework. And then she returns to the big city where she not only aces the Easter bunny job interview, but becomes one of the most celebrated Easter bunnies of all time admired for her heroism and the skills she learned rearing 21 little bunnies.

Wow. But she can't run away from her country past. It will always catch up to her and she ends up turning to a life of crime. Oh my God, it's just like the movie Glitter. I feel like Mariah Carey read this book as a little girl and was just like, I get it. I'll never be just a carry eating out in the pastures. That is the main character's name in that book is Harriah Carey. Oh, my.

Oh, it foresaw her coming. Are you saying shooting loads or we're talking about some else? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously, I'm shooting loads. I actually was just upset because we had, Jeff and I opened up some Easter candy that we had bought on sale. And the name of the brand of the mix of the different candies is called egg fillers. And then we made a lot of jokes about, that's really disgusting.

Yeah. I don't want my spree to be my going inside of my vagina. Yeah, that's upset. But sometimes you need a spree in the middle of a day. Speaking of a spree. Ooh, spreeze the candy. Arguably better than sweet-tarts. Are you talking about sprees?

I had no, all right, now I'm with you. Arguably better than sweet-tarts, but that's a bit mixed for me. I love a spree. Haven't thought about spree since the last time I went to Radio Shack, honestly. Spreeze? This is the problem of spreeze is I think they almost completely replaced them with the chewy kind. Chewy kind's okay. But man, the OG hard candy spree is where it's at, dude.

I love to suck it down. until it's a sharp little nub. And then what I used to do is I used to suck all that kind of candy into it was sharp. I would suck it into his little point and then I would take it and I would pierce my gums with it.

I think I was just obsessed with the feeling of the piercing of like dental floss and they got like the pain of it. Oh my God, I love it. Is this a weird quarantine confession? Yeah. Yes.

It's like The Everlasting Gobstopper. I would push a librarian out of a seven-story window to get the clothes right now. Oh my God, but they'd be so quiet. as you push them. They know quite.

Yeah, they just aggressively shh all the way down to the bottom. Library scientist. Pop culture is a lot of fun. It is a lot of fun. This is a quick sidebar. I do need to bring up. I didn't send this to you guys, but I did smile a lot at this yesterday.

I implore you if you're listening to this right now. to look up pictures of apparently in this Texas aquarium. Man, they're killing it with the pictures. They needed to let the land animals have some space. So the zookeepers that are quarantined with these animals are now letting the land animals of roam a little bit more freely throughout the aquarium. And guess what friendship has blossomed?

The friendship between the dolphins and the Slavs. Now, the sloths love hanging outside of the dolphin aquarium, and then all of the dolphins are so intrigued by the slavs that they go up and you know when the dolphins do all the smiling faces and they just love the goddamn slavs. I don't know if you guys care about this, but it made me very happy, okay? I love it. Sloths and dolphins are friends, and isn't that great? I think this is the pop culture we have right now, honestly, is the zoo live streams. Right. Pretty much. I mean, there's, you know, we have a daddy again, Elon Musk.

Elon Musk and Grimes had a baby boy last night. And they are really throwing things to the ringer right now. Because over the Twits, he is claiming, I can't even pronounce it of what they are naming this child. I believe that it's a phony story. But everyone is talking about it. that it's essentially, it's an X space, there's some sort of symbol that means, I guess it's pronounced Ash, and then A-12, they are claiming to be the name of the baby, which essentially would mean that the baby's name is X, Ash, Archangel, 12. And I don't think that this is true, but he's definitely, Elon Musk is like shit posting the internet right now, pretending like all of this is true. I'm gonna, I will say this. There are many a blind item out there about him really enjoying cocaine. And so I'm gonna go ahead and say that it is very possible that right now,

as he is deep in the throes of some kind of amphetamine obsession, that a green light would be given to this sort of thing. I completely could see it. I also, I do kind of, I know we're not quite at pop culture conspiracy theory, corner just yet. But there is part of me that really does truly think that Elon Musk is from the future and that he is some sort of future robot that knows how the humans versus robot war is going to go down and he has come back to try and help save us.

Yes, this is what I've decided on a long time ago. And I will say this. I know for a fact that he both firmly believes we are fully living in a simulation and also that he would like to die on the moon. I mean, on the Mars. Sorry, he would like to, you would like to die. Wait, is this a real thing that you're saying or is this a fake thing that you're saying? And he's also one of the COVID morons, surprisingly, out there.

Yeah, he, I wish that he was a robot from the future coming back to warn us. But instead, he seems to just be a guy who can't do anything useful, but can tweet, boy, mom and baby all good, a few hours away, you know, just like, oh, He tweeted like a filter, face tattoo filter over the baby's face. Like, it's fine, it's fun. Live tweet your baby's birth if you're into that. You know, no problem. But I am not a large Elon Musk fan.

And he's wearing a shirt that says, Occupy Mars while he's holding this baby. Occupy Mars! And it's got me mad. He wants to die there. It's got me mad. He wants to die there. I know.

He is. He really is. He's easy. I think that he's. most likely, 100% evil. There's just something about the chaos that comes with his existence that I'm weirdly intrigued by. I get it. I get it.

I know he's bad, but I think it's the same as why, you know, I went down a weird worm time of, you know, when I was looking at Paris Hilton's art and then I started really looking into Jim Carrey's artwork. It's things like that when you watch of a choice that someone's making in their lives. And of course, you know, I know that making Trump-inspired artwork is not the same as trying to take over Mars. Yes, those are not the same things. All these people, he's like Kanye. When they give their baby a Jesus name, you know, they think they're God. That's the thing.

Or at the very least, they are essentially the opening of Lion King. You know what I mean? And that's always an issue. when you think that your child is the chosen king lord of your existence, when you are not a member of any sort of parliamentary, I think it is an issue. If there is a crown upon your head

and all the people of the village of the island cheer you on. Lift them high, lift them babies high, lift that baby up. Give that baby to an old man and let that old man lift the fucker up in front of all those morons. Didn't you do that with Freddy and Zelda

when they were born, just hang them out aside of the New York City window and shake them for the neighborhood to see. Kind of Michael Jackson-esque. Yeah. Covered their face with a blanket. Hold them over the fire escape. Yeah.

It gives them a thrill. You know, it's just like what they're doing with all, you know, they keep putting the babies in the laundry basket in front of the screens to make them pretend like they're on a roller coaster ride. It's just like that. Yeah, that's cute. Except that you give them the thrill of the will she,

Won't she infanticide? Well, don't put Nicholas Cage inside of a tiny basket. Whoa. Oh. Oh, did you just do a transition? I liked it. Did you like it? Don't put him in the basket.

I am weirdly, fairly against the idea of Nicholas Cage playing Joe Exotic. And I am against both of your ideas of being against that. Really? I can't wait to see this. I don't know. Okay, I'm so relieved. because I was like, oh, I'm being a hater again. I thought I wasn't a hater anymore, but I don't want, like, I get it, Nicholas Cage.

I get it Joe Exotic. They're too, it's like, they're too very, like, self-aware. I mean, Joe Exotic, maybe he's not self-aware, but it's like too, it's like, I don't want the like, oh, what if this great thing that is great on its own, Nick Cage, does this great thing that is great on its own, Joe Exotic. I know it's like. gonna be too much. Too much.

Yeah. It's exactly what we were talking about. Like, I would so much rather watch someone that is usually a little bit more rained in, be able to expand a little bit more. Like,

I still would love a Sam Rockwell in this character. You're like someone like that. I don't think this is the first time. First of all, there are rumors that Sam Rockwell is in talks to be a tiger, but we don't know yet. Oh my God,

I would love to watch him eat Carol Baskin's husband. Yeah, he should be Carol Baskin's husband. Either way, I think the reason, if Joe Exotic wasn't the type to constantly pop off like a psycho at any given notice, I would maybe agree with you guys. But the fact that he really is such a hot, trigger, fire personality, I'm excited to see him get the Nick Cage treatment. But I will say this. I'm a bit biased. You could tell me Nick Cage was going to be like

Mary Poppins in the new Mary Poppins film and I would be like, yeah, do it, dude. I want to see him. I want to see him do anything in anything. Bad B-movie, phone in garbage. Have you watched Color Out of Space yet? No, I haven't. Oh, man.

It's fun. Like bad. I want to, like, Bad Lieutenant, Nick Cage, as Joe Exotic, I think it'll be great. He might, it'll maybe be a little trickier with the more downplayed moments, but when he's just screaming at everybody in the office, like in all that footage,

I think that's gonna be fantastic. I don't know how I'm gonna financially recover from this. I just imagine him screaming that, but hopefully we will see the side of Nick Cage that I always love seeing is that more pulled it, like most of his character in face off. You know, like I love, seething underbelly of Nick Cage

when he's so bursting with emotion and yet is not showing any of it. I think that is where Nick Cage definitely shines because, again, same's though, Holden. I will watch Nick Cage do anything. I want to see, also, we potentially get to see full Nick Cage man-on-man stuff, and I'm ready for it. I'm here for it.

Okay, so let's see what happened. Also, the bullet hole tattoos, I mean, Come on. It's going to be great. I do love is that the picture that is accompanying a lot of the articles that were sent out about it is Nick Cage in this studded leather jacket that is outlined in red leather and the collar of it is in leopard print. And also, where do I get that jacket? I want that jacket so desperately. It's like, I can't tell it's either perfect or it's two on the nose, you know? It's like, it's just, you know, it's just like, oh, the weirdest, awesomest, you know, most interesting character in a documentary in years will be played by like Captain Weird.

Like, it does make sense, but it's almost like it makes too much sense, you know? Okay. And right now, we want nothing to make sense to mirror the world around us. I guess. I guess. I don't really. I don't really want to see anyone else be Joe Exotic because I think that what makes, you know,

I think what's cool about documentary is that you just had, like you could not write characters that are more remarkable than the characters in Tiger King, right? And so that's what makes it so fun. And so to then have somebody do it, like as an actor, it makes me be like,

I don't know if this actually can be done because it can't be better than what it really is. you know, like it can't be done better than what it really is. But obviously, narrative film has a place in the world. And it's obviously. But I completely get it, man. I feel exactly the same way. And obviously the millisecond that that thing became a nationwide, worldwide phenomenon,

Hollywood was just like, ring, ring, you know, I mean, the furious phone calls between agents and producers that were going on. And even right now, like that project is, quote, quote based on this article that came out and I think that that's all because of licensing stuff and then and then Kate McKinnon is supposed to do Carol Baskin and and and that's based on I think the podcast technically so that there can be all of these entities without probably bringing buying the rights to the documentary series but then what it's all going to come out and I feel like it's going to be one of these things and not to be a doubt

but I kind of feel like it's going to be one of those things that after all of this and after things settle back down, every time you think about Tiger King, aren't you going to think about some of the most upsetting? Like, it's some of the most upsetting days of our lives that is just going to be ripped back open? I had four on the thing. You had it as you watched it. It will always be associated with like this weird burnt smell that I was stuck with for two weeks and like, just laying on the couch, like, wonder what the next day was going to be. Yeah, dude.

It's so weird. There were points of Tiger King that I had to stop it just so I could have my cry breaks because I didn't know what was going on with the world. I'm worried that I don't think I'm going to want to watch anything about Tiger King after this. Yeah, it's going to be PTSD. Yeah, I think that that's true. Right. I think that, like, Tiger King benefited from having everybody be home and wanting to talk about something together.

I mean, it was a great documentary, but it couldn't have been, like, a more perfect time for the release of that documentary, but I think that you're right, it might have a harm from, like, the way that we're all, you know, that certain things like, you know, spice world or whatever,

like live in a very specific time period. This will live in the most specific time period attached to, like, a global trauma. Yeah. Yeah. It's so strange. But it was the chaos we needed. It was so chaotic.

It was so crazy that it was the only thing that could possibly distract from what was happening outside. It was like, this is so bad shit. I need it now. I need it in my veins right here, right now. But it will be interesting to see the different takes because there's going to be the more serious take. I mean, I don't think the Nick Cage

is going to be like a serious attempt. I'm down, I'm essentially down to see whatever Kate McKinnon wants to do character-wise. I mean, I'll watch her do most anything. I'm cool. I mean, I kind of wish she was in the Nick Cage thing because that sounds like that would be a really wild. Oh, watching them go ahead to add for show.

Yeah, that would be fun. I hope Mel Brooks does a musical. You know, there's tons of stuff. Oh, you know there's going to be a musical coming. There's so going to be. There already is. Remember, didn't we talk about this? The, uh, from the high pitch from Wicked.

Kristen Chenoweth is starting to write. music for it. They're already writing it. They're already writing it. Much less like every single college master production is going to be some. What? No, no, like to get their masters in directing. There's going to be some homemade shitty version of that musical done over, you know,

in every written and done in every different way all across the country. I mean, it is just going to be a feeding frenzy, especially when we hit the media drought, which is coming. So there better be some other crazy ass. Or the release drought because we were just talking about this on Riverdale Roundup where Riverdale is,

essentially this season is being all fowbled up, if you will, because they can't continue. Oh yeah, it's because of the epidemic. I'm sure that's why the whole fucking show jumped in sharp. It would have been really good otherwise.

It would have been a total sense and not been extremely infuriating if it wasn't for the fucking pandemic. But also, they are cutting it like eight episode short because they can't keep making it right now. Man, I'm excited to see them. Cram all that. Well, I'll tell you what's going to happen.

A time jump. That's what's going to happen, ladies. A time jump. What if everyone watches, this is something I think about a lot. What if everyone watches everything there is to stream? Whoa. And then we finish it. We get to the void and we hit it and it's done.

And you know what happened? Then I'll tell you what happens. Sweet, beautiful. Release. silence. Yeah, baby. I'm living for the silence. The silence of the gods. Because I don't know about you guys, but that's what I've been doing.

I feel like a fucking nuts house person that in my downtime, I have been sitting in silence. I'll either read or I will just, Jeff will walk in the room and I'm just kind of staring into the corner of the room like I'm a dog that can see a ghost. And he thinks that there's maybe a spider

somewhere that I'm staring at. Earlier today, both kids went into my brother's room to do a phone call and to wish somebody happy birthday. And Gideen was like, I'm going to duck into my office to send an email. And I was sitting on the floor because I had been doing something with Zelda. And I was like, I'm just going to sit on the floor for two minutes. It's awesome. I'm just going to sit here.

But that's the difference. If I have downtime, it's like two, three hours. Molly's like two minutes of sweet personal victory. Two glorious minutes of just sitting on the, and our floor is now just covered in gym mats. I don't know if you guys saw my Instagram. I did. She's very comfortable.

It's great. So if you find yourself sitting on the floor, you just happen to be on a floor made of gym mats, you can just really settle in. That sounds, that's really the dream. It makes me think of like when I would watch Wendy and then I would take the bed because she liked that I slept in the living room

and I would take the two air mattresses, and I'd blow both of them up, and I'd push them up against the couch so that the entire living room is bed. And then Wendy and I would just roll from the couch to the bed when it was time to sleep, and then she would cuddle up on me. Oh my God, I miss Wendy. Yeah, well, whatever, you can't see her. It's bad time to do that right now.

I miss my niece. I miss her. She misses me, too. I can feel it in all the pictures. I'm sure she misses you. And sometimes Henry Natalie will send me a little video so that she can say hi. Yeah. She's thinking about you.

Do you think she's thinking about me? Definitely. She's like, where's my friend? Yeah. Where's my friend? She's not just thinking, I need food, I need love from whatever you can hear me. No. No.

Specifically me. See, what we've been doing to really past time, and I think it's been kind of fun and talking about hitting a wall where you reach the beyond of Netflix streaming, and we are rewatching things from our childhood currently, and I recently, and I recently, and I'm only bringing this up because if you guys have not seen it, I implore you to sit and watch the movie

stay tuned. It is starring John Ritter, and yes unfortunately it is starring Jeffrey Jones, but put that aside for half a second, because for some reason when we were children, there were all these family comedies that were billed as

family comedies when in reality they were very weird and very upsetting. And stay tuned is about John Ritter being a horrible husband that only watches the television and doesn't pay attention to his wife and his family and

yada yada yada, Jeffrey Jones shows up gives him an opportunity of a lifetime to have all of the television he can dream of. But really it's called television and it is a satellite dish system that has 666 channels where you sell your

soul to be sucked into the station for the devil to watch you and play with you inside of the television until you die and give him your soul. It's fucking great. We watched this movie so many times as a kid, and I'm reaching out to you guys. If you've also seen it too, please let me know because I thought for a while that this movie was made up in my imagination. I was absolutely obsessed with it. I completely, you know, when it's like, I feel like quarantine is really a lot.

allowing us to find these little rooms that live inside of our brain to think about things. I haven't thought about this movie in a million years. Have you guys watched anything during this or have thought about something where you're like, I literally have not thought about that in the past 20 years? For me, first of all, big fans stay tuned. It reminds me of the one, what's the one with, where they deal with the aliens, the parents? Mom and Dad Save the Universe? Yeah.

That has what's... With the John Lovitz? Thank you. I was trying to remember the name. Save the world. Mom and Dad save the world. Nailed it. It's very weird that you brought this up. Similar to that. Same thing that I did. Same thing on my roommate did. We were bringing up state two.

And he's like, I always get that confused with mom and dad save the world. It's like, fuck. Why do we all confuse the two? Yeah, that's so weird. Jeffrey Jones is in both of them, but in one, he's evil and one he's the dad. It sounds like they have the same cast and the same premise. Right. Except John Lovitz, but it's, and Terry Gar, it's such a, it's another weird. It's another really weird comedy that's kind of evil. Like, it's not, at points it's just sort of mean and evil and not even like trying to be funny.

Remember that weird woman with the, like the fish woman? Yeah. And mom and dad save the world. But again, oh, Rotten Tomato someday I'm taking you down. And I don't know when it's going to happen. But it's going to happen someday. 9% mom and dad save the world. Wow.

Get fucked Rotten Tomato. I mean, it's a nostalgia movie though. Come on. I mean, I don't think you could. introduce it now and be like, this is good, right? Like, it's only, like, that was that movie, just like, stay tuned, that it's like, you are hanging out on the couch on a Sunday afternoon, you pop on HBO. Hell, yeah, stay tuned is on.

Although I'm throwing this out there, stay tuned, holds the fuck up. Okay. Jeff had never seen it before, and he was like, that was a very good movie. Like, it's great. It's so entertaining, and it's very uncomfortable. Interesting. Well, I am, maybe I'll go back and check it out. For me, I was telling you on talking TV today that lately, Lexi and I have found that while we do our, we have Lego sessions together. We're building the bookstore right now. And while we're having our Lego sessions, right? While we do that, we put on a movie we've seen a million times back to the future. And another one of those that we threw on was Austin Powers. And Austin Powers, the very first one. Molly, that was my exact reaction. It's so good.

Is it? It holds up. It holds up. It definitely holds up. Dr. Evil is so funny. Like, his take on Lord Michaels is hilarious. I think the funniest part is Dr. Evil reuniting with his long-lost son, played by Seth Green.

Their dynamic is so funny. And the way they make fun of James Bond movies and all this kind of thing. And just how dated 60s British swing. society is compared to even the 90s. I just remember sex? Yes, please. And was that in the first one? Yes, it's very, I mean, I loved those movies and saw them in the theater and just, I'm

interested to see if two holds up. I bet it doesn't hold up quite as well. But one actually, I find to be pretty legitimately great. All right. Honestly, Molly. One was doing something that had not, that one was a new, like the first. first one was like, oh, this is, and then I liked two, but it was like, oh, you're just doing the same thing that was good about one.

Yeah, they just, they just did that comedy movie sequel thing where they're just like, remember this gag? Remember this gag? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's a little bit different this time. It's not in the first one. Let's do a different thing. Unless your sister act too, because sister act two nails it.

Yes. Or city slickers too. Another one really reinvents the wheel. Fival goes west, of course. Well, I've been. to tell you guys and implore to the world, I feel so alone in this. And I'm just, I know that that's probably just my fate. But I've been rewatching Unsolved Mysteries, which was something I started a few years ago.

And then I went back to forensic files. And then I, but so now I'm watching Unsolved Mysteries and I watch it on my phone because I share a room with a baby. I can't watch TV. I have to watch it on the headphones, et cetera. And so I'm watching Unsolved Mysteries on my phone to go to sleep. And, you know, Unsold Mysteries is very fun because it's hosted by Robert Stack. And like it's like forensic five.

It's like any true crime thing, but it's from the start in the late 80s. And it's like tonight. And it'll be like four stories about like a woman who was murdered by an intimate partner. And then like the fifth story is like a ghost in a house. You know? So it's like it's like awesomely like true crimey. And then the fourth or fifth story is always some weird shit. Like was that a UFO?

that was over Arizona. How long are each story, though? Like, what is the investment time? Because I've been thinking about starting to rewatch Unself Mysteries. Oh, by God, please do it. It's an hour. It was an hour block in prime time.

So it's, you know, 45 minutes. Okay, okay, okay. And then each story is like five to ten minutes. And they do a lot of historical shit. There's like a, it'll be like, this person was on an orphan train. And it was 1987, so all these people are long, dead so you don't even have to like worry about anything like it feels great it's like this person was

on an orphan train in 1917 and they're now 50 and they're looking for their brother that was on the orphan train with them orphan train yeah you know there was an like a train filled with orphans yeah they used to do that they put all the orphans from new york city on a train and then drove them to the Midwest is that why the Midwest is so nice it's because they came from having no parents it was a it was a labor thing. They wanted the children. They wanted like a 12 year old to work. Man, you know, they can get in all those chimneys. Man, you got

a mine, you send a 12 year old to do that job. They can fit. That's why I was fat when I was 12 because I was worried I was going to be sent to a mine. That's why I was so fat. But please. But unsolved mysteries is so satisfying because because everything was initially

started in 1987, every story that is unsolved now has update and it's been solved. Like, so it's like very satisfying because it'll be like, we'll never know who was the murderer. And then it'll be like, update. After this broadcast, the murderer came forward. And so like, that's a normal episode. That's great that they do the update.

The updates are the whole reason to watch. But aside from a normal episode of Unself Mysteries, there was a special that they did in 1989, season one episode 15, when they were really hitting their stride called Alcatraz. And it's about the prison island off of the coast of San Francisco. And nothing about prisons are fun or entertaining except this episode because it is about. So they tell the story of three prisoners who escaped from Alcatraz as an island in the whole point of Alcatraz apparently is so that you couldn't escape it because it was an island surrounded by water in like the icy cold waters of. of the ocean and you couldn't escape it. And so these three prisoners tried to escape in like 1962.

And this episode is trying to figure out whether or not they could do it. And so Robert Stack at a whole news crew, just for this one primetime show in 1989, are there on a boat in the San Francisco Bay trying to figure out whether these three prisoners could have swum from Alcatraz on a homemade raft to the coast, you know, and survive. because these three prisoners escaped. Wait, did they all do the trip then? Yeah, so the, well, the three prisoners escaped Alcatraz and then they were never heard from again,

but there's various people who said that they got calls from them afterwards or whatever. So Unsolved Mysteries is here to figure out, did they do it? And they make a man who is a professional swimmer, get in the water, which is 42 degrees, and they make him swim from Alcatraz all the way to the coast. How else are they supposed to find out, Molly?

How else are they supposed to find out? They also make three professional rafters get on a homemade raft made out of prison raincoats and float also. And they have so many resources. They've got a helicopter. They've got a boat. They've got, like, it's like a live broadcast.

They're like, Robert Stack is there counting three, two, one go. And the swimmer just like waves and dives into the water. And they're like narrating. They're like, he's going to be so cold that he's going to be losing his bodily functions. When he gets out of the water, he's not going to be able to talk. And the whole, it's like an hour and a half long special. It's longer than normal. And they're just watching this guy swim, seeing if he's going to drown from Alcatraz to the coast of San Francisco. And then they're watching these three rafters do it. And it is the most entertaining shit. It's the most

entertained. It's the most captivated. I've been by an hour and a half of television in years. I cannot recommend highly enough that back in the, the. late 80s, television, prime time television, was just like, let's do a special where we spend what must have been millions of dollars to see on this one stupid two crime show to see, to get this Olympic swimmer, to risk his life, to swim.

And then he makes it, spoiler alert, and he gets out of the water, his jaw is so frozen, he can't talk. Oh my God. I hope that they at least paid him money to do that. And they just imagine. serious long-term issues from that. Jesus Christ, I just imagine Robert Stack could just,

because I, is he like a fun, is he a sillyman? Does he ever get sillyman? He's not a silly man. No, that's what's so great about him. He's just like, he's. So serious. Yes, he's the most serious man that there ever is. And so this guy gets out of the water and he's like, I feel fantastic.

Like, he's like a guy who swims in cold water for fun, you know. But I really, like, Robert Stack is there. his like raincoat. It's the craziest shit that I've ever seen. Like how did they make this man swim 45 minutes in a 42 degree San Francisco Bay water to see whether or not these prisoners could do it? And his conclusion, they could have done it. I just feel like Robert Stack is the same as Alex Trebek, where if they told me to do

something and told me they believed in me, I'd do almost anything. Absolutely. Also shout out to the recent Beavis and Butthead episode we did for pop history. He is so good in Beavis and Butthead to America. Every scene, he's constantly forcing everyone around him to receive deep cavity searches to make sure they're not in cahoots with Beavis and Budhead. And it's so funny. And he plays it so deadpan like Leslie Nielsen in an airplane. And that makes it so much funnier.

He's so, I forgot about him in Do America, honestly. He is so, Robert Stack is just like an absolute delight to watch. He seems to show no knowledge of whether or not, like I want to know whether or not he thinks Unsolved Mysteries is a ridiculous, stupid show. He doesn't. He, I'm looking at a list right now. I don't want to jump.

I mean, we could do this list as our list. But he doesn't. He sees this as theater. This is, this is very, it's very important to him and how it was portrayed. He took it very, very, very. This is to him. He viewed himself apparently as the stage manager of the show, that he was the host of something that was very important to get across.

Well, something that's very important for me to get across is our fourth celebrity conspiracy. Oh, God. And it has nothing to do with Elon Musk obviously being a robot from the future. No, it doesn't. It has to do with this. Is Katie Perry? Jean-Beney Ramsey.

Oh, I love this one. If you want to page 7 deep cut, go to watch High Maintenance. Season 2 on HBO episode Fagan, where Jackie and I have a little conversation and Jackie in what will make me laugh every single time. Totally dead pants.

Katie Perry is John Bonae Ramsey. It is so fucking funny. I'm not going to love it. I've got some disturbing evidence. Oh my God, I am excited. Because one thing I do remember about this is that both Katie Perry and John Benet Marnsey's mother have brown hair. What? They look similar.

We'll get there. Hold on. First of all, let's lay the tracks. Let's lay the foundation. On Christmas night, on Christmas night in 1996, Child Beauty pageant winner, Jean-Beney Ramsey was killed in her family home. in Colorado at just six years old. To this day, the case remains unsolved

with her parents' suspects. Of course, also much deeper dive on this last podcast on the left has done an episode. It's a very, they killed the John Bonae Ramsey. Well, they didn't kill John Bonae Ramsey. But they do it. It is a great, great episodes

by them. Or was it murder? Others have a different theory that she was accidentally kidnapped by Illuminati members. Her parents, staged her death, and she would later return to the world as pop star Katie Perry with the big hit song.

I kissed a girl. Did you kiss her at a beauty pageant in your childhood? Oh my God! Let me show you the evidence so that I may destroy the fears that live within you and make them somehow into greater fears. Pictures of Katie Perry side by side with Jean-Beney Ramsey look very similar, which is especially noted in the similarity of the eye. eyebrows. So interesting that you decided

to grow your eyebrows out, Jackie, because... Oh my God, am I hiding a secret past? Yeah, were you trimming them because you were some suspected dead child? Maybe. Also, their parents look similar, as you noted before, assuming that the father

shaved his head and the mother gained a little weight. But other than that, very similar from Jean-Bene. Which can happen. That's over time it can happen. Those things are very doable. I've shaved my head in the last week. Yeah. Oh my God. What are you trying to cover up, Molly? Yeah, what are you covering

up? Or uncovering. In Katie Perry's memoir, she wrote. Not that I was one of those stage kids. There was no Jean-Beney inside of me waiting to burst out. This, of course, yet again, the Illuminati laying clues hidden in plain sight, as they love to do, as

mentioned in the Jay-Z Beyonce throwing up the triangle in front of everyone's faces. Highting in plain sight. Hi, Ting in plain sight. And, of course, in 2006, she tweeted some of the lyrics to the song, God Bless America, which was also the song that Ramsey would sing in her pageants. Interesting.

Whoa. Interesting. Not okay. Only two people know that song. You're right. That's got to be. The origin of this rumor, it all seems to have started in 2014 when a YouTube video was posted titled Jean-Beney Ramsey is singer Katie Perry, which has since since.

been taken down, but of course, others swelled around the rumor. Billy Eichner actually did ask her in an interview at the 2017 VMAs to, quote, blink twice if you're really Jean-Beney Ramsey. And she responded by laughing and denying the rumor. Oh, come on. She's not going to say it right at the VMAs, please. You're right, no, no, no. You're right.

So, ladies, I have laid upon you everything you need to conclude your decision. conclusion. What is your decision conclusion? Is Katie Perry Jean-Beney Ramsey, and why is she definitely Jean-Beney Ramsey? I mean, you didn't even get into

the freckle move, the beauty mark move on her face, and that was all to throw people off of the trail. Obviously, they are the same person. Okay. And they, and I don't mean to get further into this,

but the reason why this is the same person, they are the same person, and why John B'nai Ramsey had to die in order for Katie Perry to live is because her parents were actually enacting a sacrificial ritual to give the success to create Katie Perry.

And yes, it is true. All right, Molly Neffle, anti-Nichaelus Cage, Molly Neffle. Unfortunately, I am also anti-Kate-Py-Pyte. Perry is John Benet Ramsey. Hater's gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. I am, I've got to be a, I've got to be a hater again because I'm not even certain that they are the same age.

They're not. They're not at all. I think there's like a seven-year age difference or something. Like, there's no way. There's anti-aging stuff you can do. Don't even get me started on Lord. She's like, apparently like a 50-year-old woman. But let's save that for another.

conspiracy. Oh. That man. Well, I'm excited for it. Wait, what do you think, Holden? Yeah, I agree with Molly. I don't think that's possible.

Obviously, they both have blonde hair. And they sing the same song. I just, I don't know where you guys are getting this from. But now it's time for the list and not that. I'm sorry, I already previewed a little bit. Oh. Who's on the list? Robert Stacky.

Gotta have that list. I am going to save my original list for next week because there's actually some fun, there's some fun trivia facts in these fascinating facts about unsolved mysteries. Hell yeah. Molly, this goes out to you. For indulging me and my weird relationship with unsolved mysteries. Please watch it with me, people. I am completely in.

In fact, if you could send me a list of episodes, that I definitely have to watch to get my unsolved mysteries whole dug in. Did you know that Holden was not okay with me saying that? That in the pilot episode, it was not hosted by Robert Stack. It was, in fact, on January 20th, 1987, good year, guys. That's the year I was born. It was hosted by Raymond Burr. And then Carl Maldon.

And then Robert Stack took over. Now, that's not that fun of an information. But did you guys know that in the early episodes, the show didn't use actors to reenact? According to the director David Basser... They used the real murderers. They use the real family members. There's a disclosure at the beginning that says

some of the real family members might be used to act out the crimes. That's insane to me. This is not a news broadcast. Wow. Oh, it's so weird. They'll be a sitting desk. Sorry to usurp the list, Jackie, but they'll be sitting down. It is, imagine a true crime show where you're sitting down with somebody being like, yeah, she was my daughter and now she's missing.

And then in the next scene, it's that person from the sit down interview being like, I'm here to file a police report about my missing daughter. Like they mobilize the victims of crimes to be actors in the show. That is absolutely insane. and this is one of the reasons why I had to read out those lists. Yes, in the DVD commentary, the acting of these first seasons when we were just getting our feet wet was not up to snuff. As we went through the seasons, we were able to pay top dollar and get good people, so it just got better and better. So what you're saying is, not only did you use their pain, but you also didn't pay them any money. That's some like active killing shit.

Yes, don't do that. And also, apparently, there's an easy way to tell if the act. were bad. This is an unsolved mystery's hallmark, and it's a secret. Wink, Vassar said in DVD commentary. But if the narrator talks a lot and the actors don't talk at all, it means the acting is really very bad. And the narrator is going to cover everything up. They were too busy mourning their lost loved ones to do proper acting. It is fully cast by victims' family members, season one at least. I can't believe that they're not. were allowed to do something like that.

It's insane. It is so fucking insane. And they'll have like the cop will also be the one that's like, oh yeah, here, told me, take the report. Like, I wonder, like, was it therapeutic for people to do this? Was it, was it traumatic? Like, what was going on in reenacting these stories? Apparently, they were doing anything that they could to cut costs because at the time,

an hour-long scripted drama cost about $1.5 million. per episode. But they were sold by only costing $375,000 an episode. I mean, they felt sets, though. Yeah, it is nuts. But also any, the fact that the 80s and 90s were based, true crime shows were based on reenactments, like how much overhead, you know, to create a whole set? You also have to remember, I don't know if it's the same then as it is now.

But now I know, and at least for the past eight to ten years, they use exclusively non-union actors so they don't have to really pay them that much money. So it's any way of anyone to be able to get as much money as they make, but they don't have to follow the SAG guidelines, which I don't really know how they do that and how they get around that, but they certainly do. Wow.

Stack compared Unsolved Mysteries to theater. This is what I was talking about. He says, we're balancing two needs here. We're trying to produce theater, and we're trying to do a public scene. service. Stack's stage comparisons didn't end there. He saw his duty as host, according to Cosgrove, as akin to the stage manager of Our Town. The three-act play, written by Thornton Wilder, takes place in the small town of Grover's Corners and features stories from a period between the years

of 1901 and 1913. The stage manager served as the narrator. So is he just referencing Our Town? Which, I mean, you know, that's quite the Richard Stack thing, I think, to do, I guess. Art Town's, you know, it's a boring name. Our Town's fine. It's up there with Oklahoma for some of the most boringly titled, and it's maybe a little boring. Didn't we do it? Didn't somebody do it at FSU? Yeah, Florida State, we did it.

And it was a snoo, it was a bit of, I think it got two snoozes laying down was the review. Oh, come on. Our Town's fine. It's a good high school play to do. Well, apparently all of Robert Stack segments were recorded at the Masonic. temple in California. The temple was located in Pasadena and we liked it as a set because it

evoked ghostly spirits and things like that. That's Illuminati dude. The Lumini came out of Mason or no, Luminati started separately but used the masons to bring members in when it had to become a fully secret organization.

Whoa. I feel like it's really good that we're talking about this today because this week is very important when it comes to asteroids and shit, then things falling from the sky. Because apparently Robert Stack was very unnerved about doing, and he was

very, I guess, is the word non-surplussed? Skeptical. Let's stick to skeptical about the paranormal stuff. Non-plus? Yeah, non-plus. What's non-surplus, then? There is no such thing as non-surplussed. Is that a fake word?

That's just a word you created right here, right? It means not enough extra, right? Non-surplusset. Word you made up? I think you could say it meant the sky. You can say it meant fire. Or maybe there's just like a surplus.

Like, oh, monseigneur comma and surplus, I'll stop. And he was skeptical. Not senior comma. Oh, fuck, man. It's time. It's time for you. It's time for you. Oh, my God, that last fucking, I don't know,

I guess I'll call it a joke. made me go blind, guys. That's right. We get him. It's time from light items. Okay. This one's a little lighter for you. It might sound jokey right now,

but at least one of the two vaccines being worked on in the U.S. will have a version of this actor's name in the name of the vaccine. The company thinks it will make it stand out from their competition here and abroad. It will make the public clamor for it.

Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. And what do you think it's called? Ooh. All right. Tom Hanks Hanks, a flu. Tom Hanks scene. Oh, Hank scene. Yes. You got it, Jackie.

Oh, Jackie. Thank you. Thank you. Queen of the pun. Tom Hanks. I know, right? That was actually a really good job. I don't think I would have to guess that. Tom Hanks joked about calling it this on a recent episode of NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me after telling them that he and his wife gave blood to places working on a vaccine as they tested positive for the antibodies after having the C word.

That just gave me the reason to open up White Claw Numero Dewe. Thank you. It's a celebration. All right, moving right along, as Kermit would say, this A-list acting couple has discovered their previous habit of not being together during their marriage, so they were free to explore the crazy stuff they liked to explore was the right route to go. Being at home together exposes the fact that they don't really like each other all that much, and also

they were pretty crap parents. Brad and Angelina. No? No, they're not together anymore. Kim and Kanye. No. These are actor, actors. Oh, actors. And kind of a very big deal acting couple. Like, the

the dude has probably had more work than the lady, even though I'd probably consider the lady a better actor. Is it Ryan Reynolds and Blake lively? No. More old school. Old school with kids. Been around longer. Crazy kids.

Oh, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith? Yes. Jada recently did an episode of her daughter and her mother's co-hosted Facebook. I guess her daughter and her- Red Table Talk, baby. I watch it. I've watched almost every single episode. Really?

Did you watch the part where she came on it and said, I got to be honest. I think one of the things that I've realized is that I don't know Will at all. I feel like there's a layer that you get to. Life gets busy and you create these stories in your head. And then you hold on to these stories. And that is your idea of your partner. That's not who your partner is.

Let me tell you. That's been something to be married to somebody 20 some odd years and realize, I don't know you. And you don't know me. And also realizing there's an aspect of yourself, you don't know either. Y'all, red table talks, I know it is not for everybody, which is why I don't push it very often. And I'm not a fan of Facebook in general.

And it is put on their Facebook streaming, whatever bullshit. But it is honest as fuck. Man. And it is so interesting to see three generations of women talking so honestly about sex and family and life and being. That sounds kind of awesome. I am weird. Some of it are definitely, like I skip some episodes.

It's like when they brought on Jordan Woods to talk about the like, oh, so what's going on with Kylie? Like, I don't give a fuck about that stuff. But everything else, there was an episode where Jada Binkett Smith brought on Will Smith's first wife that she cheated with Will Smith on. And they, Will Smith had a, has a son with this woman. And she brought her on to talk about how they overcame it and actually kind of became friends. Wow. And she, like, look at her dead and I've just been like, I hated you for a long time.

And it is so weirdly cathartic. And sometimes to a point that I feel bad watching it because it is a little, like, I feel like maybe I shouldn't be watching this. Right, right. I'm very, I'm very fascinated by it. That's cool. And I like those kids.

I like both Willow and Jaydon a lot. I think they're super interesting. So I would totally watch the three-generation conversation. cool. Well, here's another couple in trouble. Whenever this foreign-born A-list country singer starts blathering on about his actress wife and how wonderful she is, it usually means she cuckolded him. I just like the use, the Shakespearean use of cuckold. Cuckold, dude. Cheated on him. I think it's Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman. 100%. Urban in a recent interview in the times. Appiest. Yeah. Yeah, in a recent, exactly, way too obvious.

Urban in a recent interview in the time said, there's no question that Nick has been a huge influence on my creativity, simply for the way she approaches things in such a bold way. Curiosity makes her go towards something regardless of whether she thinks she can do it, which is absolute evidence. Not only the Jamba Naim Ramsey is definitely Katie Perry, but also that Nicole has been cheating on her, on, I'm sorry, on him, getting a big, dirty down on the ding dong.

Oh no, a do nondda ding, do. Yeah, but down nanda ding ding, and he's like downstairs, he's like, baby, baby, I wrote a new, ooh, your eyes make my body move, you know what I mean? And she's like, yeah, yeah. And she's like leaned over the counter

and she's just like getting slammed. Yeah, and she's like, get more wrist guards. And maybe it's because of the wrist things. It always makes me think of you, Molly. What are they called? The rash's, rashes. Oh, the wristbands, my scar, my scar sweatbands. Yes.

I got to say that Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman are one of the most baffling celebrity couples out there because boy are they not matched in terms of hotness or coolness. And I'm sorry to any big pop country fans out there. Maybe Keith Urban is very cool. But I think that it is a big head scratcher. I get it. I think that he is apparently fairly suave and fairly charming. He did a very cool.

his turn on the one world thing where he played every instrument and played a whole song as a band that was five of him and then she walked in at the very end and I could see I was like oh I get this I could see how you would be someone be into that like you know honestly Molly I understand what you're saying

but I kind of feel like it's flipped I think the whole Kidman is beautiful but I kind of think that she's a little too cold for him oh all right so I hear what you're saying I don't know if they're necessarily matched but I think that she might be a stone, cold, beautiful bitch. She's as cold as ice, and you got to make the sacrifice. Wow.

If I'm Nicole Kidman and I'm doing those scenes with Alexander Sarsgaard, and then I go home to Keith Urban, I got to say, you know, what am I doing with my life? Oh, man, those scenes, problematically. Problematically. Problematically. I shouldn't, but ooh, I do. talking about big little eyes baby mama me i mean many of those scenes are bad but i'm just saying

that when you are when you're that close to alexander sarzgard scars guard sarzgard whichever i always forget in any case imagine how good he smells yeah he's got you got to go home to keith urban and be like where i'm where did i go wrong you're not the same i don't want this one that is what i would say too on that weird gross note i am with the scene eyes again and that means that we must be done with blind items. How do I read them? Is it because of the Tom Hanksine? Tom Hanksine. Tom Hanksine. It's not even a wordplay that makes sense. Which is why I got it so quickly, I think. Hank scene. Yeah, that's it. I think that's, and I think that also means the show. And as you can see behind me, my lovely wife, Alexis,

is doing Taco Tuesday. Hey. I'm so excited to go eat it. So I got to get out of here, guys. We love you guys so much. Thank you for joining us today with our little gab fest that we had. I had so much fun. I'm sweating.

I'm sweating. We're hitting the time of year. But my name is Jackie Zabrowski. And thank you guys for joining us. Where can they find you, Jackie? Places. I don't know. Do you find me on Instagram at Jackie?

that worm. And yes, I am still doing Mottland for our Patreon. I am continuing on in our audiobook. I just hit chapter 42, and we've got under 100 pages left. Congratulations. And I meant to say that I think

that something I'd like to start dilly-dallying with is reading fun fan fiction for our Patreon. So I'm going to start gathering some good. So if you have any extra species, spicy, spicy favorites that you want to send my way, Please do, because I got the need to read.

I've got that classic Harry Potter one. We'll talk about it. The Evanescence Harry Potter one is great. It may be fake, but it doesn't matter. It's still fantastic. The My Immortal one or whatever. I'm thinking about starting with that one. Of course you have to.

All right, well, I'm Holda McNeely. You can catch me with Jackie on Twitch, twitch. Twitch.tv. Holdenators ho, but even almost more importantly than that, I'm going to go ahead and say, check us on a Patreon. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Jackie just talked about how we're putting extra, extra, extra content on there. At the end of the day, you get one extra episode a week for just $5 a month.

But obviously, with what Jackie just said, that's just the beginning. So that's just scratching the service. So check us out. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Molly! I am MJK. Elcat on Instagram. And it's delightful and we love you very much.

We'll talk to you next week, guys. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.