Page 7 - Episode 355: The No Brain Zone

Episode Date: May 28, 2020

We goss about John Krasinski selling "Some Good News", Jared Leto's silent retreat and Beyoncé gets featured again in our celebrity conspiracy corner. Join Jackie's book club! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Said I took an oath I'm gonna stick it out to the end Now you can stand under my Operetta You can stand under my umbrella And Ariana's in my heart In my soul in my body That's a different show though

That's not for this show Just you guys get a little preview of what's to come with pop history But for now you're at page 7 And we've got other shit to talk about Yeah We got other firemen. Shut your brains off because they're talking about other things on this show.

Although sometimes we talk about Rihanna. Did the feel good show end up being just a big way to get a bunch of money? Oh, sorry, everybody. Hi, cute. Welcome to page seven, guys. I mean, if you want to jump right in with that, I think it's very funny. I think it's so funny. Lightning round introductions.

Hold on McNeely. Molly. I'm Molly Neffle and I can't hear umbrella without thinking of Tom Holland. Wait, why? Because of the lip sync battle. Have you not seen the Tom Hau? I don't know that.

What? I know something you guys don't know for the first time ever. Oh dear. And it's a great pop culture thing. Wow. Okay. I'm looking it up right now.

Oh my God. You guys have to. I'm going to watch it with the, watch it muted. By the way, typed in Tom Holland, definitely the very first. first thing that popped up was lip sync battle in YouTube. It is the greatest.

It's the umbrella. You're right. Oh my God. Jackie, I'm so happy for you that you get to watch it because if you have umbrella in your head, you get to now picture Tom Holland dancing to it and it is the greatest. It is the greatest honor. It's really good. He is wonderful. I do remember this, but you are bringing back

a great moment in television history. This is as big as the moon. The moon landing. Yeah, it's just like the moon landing. Landing, 1969. Al Capone's vault. This is up there.

You know, a huge event. Historical. Schneid O'Connor ripping up the picture of the Pope. I remember that. Definitely. He iconic this moment. Absolutely beautiful. He just does such a good job.

He's such a likable bloke. And he's like even, it's like he goes from just being like, oh, what a charming, nice guy to being like he's very, very talented. But he does not take himself seriously what. so ever, but he's fully committed to dancing to Rihanna. He is old enough for us to say that he's young, young sexy, right? Definitely. That guy's got to be.

Sure. I don't know how old he is, but he's not a teen. He's got to be in his mid-20s. I get scared sometimes. I don't know. In my brain, if they are under the age of 30, I think they're all just, oh, mama me. I'm sorry, I'm watching the Tom Holland.

What I don't love watching this, though, is the judges or the hosts or whatever they're called, and the way that they have to, like, comically fall over they're so entertained by this limpsink. That's what they get paid to do. That's what hosts get me to do. I agree with both of you. The performative fun is annoying, but also I would, we would all, the three of us would be great performatively fun judges on a show like that.

See, the thing is, I want to have sex with Tom Holland dressed like Rihanna in this performance. That's the thing. I was never attracted to Tom Holland until watching this video. And then I was always like, He's a little bit too much of a little do-gooder boy for me. And then I saw him dress like Rihanna. Is that L.O. Cool, Jay?

Yeah. Wait, should I be watching Lipsink Battle? Did you guys, I thought this was the Chrissy Teagan thing. So I didn't honestly throwing this out there, didn't really care that much. This was from years ago. Yeah, yeah. This was years ago, but it was good. I think they're fun.

Lipsink Battle is a great idea. This is a perfect segue because, of course, Jimmy Fallon on his late night show started this. And of course, one of my favorites. will always be Emma Stone performing a blues traveler. That one song, she lipsinks, it's amazing. That really fast one. How dare you say that one song? Say it's called Run Around.

You know the song. Is it Run Around or Hook? The one that has Rintintin, Rintin, Rintin, T, but da-da-da-a-da-penn-a-penn. That's hook. Suck it in, I can do the whole thing if you want me to. Well, she did it as well, and it got my bongos drumming these ladies gentlemen. You wouldn't have sex with blues traveler. That's what you're saying.

That's all I'm hearing from this. I love blues travelers. Whatever. But either way, it's a great segue because, of course, now we have the new version of that. That started on the late show, whatever it is, the tonight show, whatever it is. No, it's the late show, whatever it is. And then they sold it and made it its own TV show. And, of course, this has happened again recently with the show that we have talked about a few times on this particular pilot.

I feel like Jackie puts every episode's description in the links for every week, but we don't ever really get to it, but we always end up watching every episode of Some Good News. I love Some Good News. It's very cute. He did a, like, John Krasinski did a wonderful job, creating a delightful little at-home-made show. And what did he do?

Like a good entrepreneur, he took it and he sold it for millions of dollars for something he never has to touch ever again, and the internet is ripping him apart for it. It's so funny. I just want to say, I love this. A, I think it's, I have no problem with him selling the show. Nope.

But what I love about it is that the networks honestly felt, and this is the state of the media today, and I don't want to get too toilety here. Ouch, you're hurting my ears with what you're saying. Honestly, to them, a novel, brilliant concept to have a show that's only good news. Positivity? Oh my God. What a revelation. So we're going to waste millions.

of dollars of our corporate money to purchase a show being run out of, albeit a celebrity's mansion, but still out of his home, why don't you... What is happening? CBS purchased the show. I was ahead of the game on this because

way back in 2009, when I moved to New York City, one of my early and undeveloped stand-up bits was about a website called happy news.com that a friend had told me about because I was having some severe anxiety after a cross-country move and graduating from college and all that. And she was like, oh, well, I also have anxiety.

And I read the website happy news.com every day. And so I had a stand-up bit about it. And it was just a website with only happy news. And it was like, you know, new beluga whale at the aquarium, like that type of thing. And then I recently checked happynews.com no longer an active website. So apparently they've been run out of town. I was like, what's going on in happy news.com right now? They've been run out of town by.

John Krasinski by Big Happy. Yeah, Big Happy took him out. Unbelievable. It makes me so, it just, I love the internet. It's like, how dare you sell out? And not only that, you're going to have someone else come in and host the show instead of John Krasinski. Of course he is.

Yeah. Like a part of multiple franchises, he doesn't have any fucking time to make, so he'll be executive producing. My fucking Ryan, son. Yeah. He doesn't have time to do this stuff. It's so funny that he's just But I do really

It does irk me of this It's just kind of crazy It took this little idea I had What if we did something Good for the world And this little engine that could Chug a chugga chugged in the To the hearts of every American

Go fuck yourself You're still a billionaire And you are still a movie star With a movie star wife No wonder people liked it No wonder people paid attention He did a great job with it I'm not saying that he didn't.

I like some good news. I think it's good that he sold it. I'm going to say this whole situation urcles me because it's both annoying and hilarious at the same time. Wow, good to use it appraisal. You know what? It's Stefan's me. Because I feel like it's put a slack onto my face.

I just, it's like, I think the only obnoxious part of this is like, you couldn't even wait till the quarantine engine to do this. That's the only thing is the timing. It's the timing. It's just. It's so cynical. It's like, dude, we're not even past the thing you've been trying to, like, make us feel better about, like, the time before immediately selling it and just, like, immediately stopping doing it so that this giant corporate machine can maybe do it at some point. I think CBS, and watch me eat my words in, like, a half a year from now, I think they have wasted a lot of money just now on this fucking idea.

I don't, A, I don't think it's going to be all that successful. Who knows? Yeah, it won't translate. I totally agree. Right. The whole thing is like, like he's homemade. Yeah, exactly. Like the premise that people like is, I mean, again, sell out.

I can't wait to sell out someday if I got, you know, it would be wonderful. Give me the opportunity. Yeah. Give me the money. I'll take it. And also he's already John Cresensky. It's not like Green Day selling out who initially had some integrity. And I don't even care that they sold out either.

You know, it's like he's not to say that he never had any integrity. but he's a celebrity. You can't sell out if you're already sold out, you know? But, right, the point is that he's like a little guy doing this in quarantine at home. Like, that's the whole point. So, so it's just going to be a different thing, you know. Yes. No reason to get mad about it, though. You know? Yes.

It's like, unless CBS was like Jackie Zabrowski, I was either going to give the money to you or give it to John Grisensky and buy some good news. then of course be as upset about it as you want but other than that you know the richer the rich is gonna keep getting richer but that's not my bleak outlook i am smiling i'm gonna say that like as much as i don't care and i don't really think it's a big deal and i think it's like kind of the obvious thing for him to do and all this that and the other i still do appreciate the internet's existence for because i get to live a little bit through their outrage their anger and get to just like enjoy it's like I internet a lot of times does the work for me when it comes to stuff like this like I don't give a fuck

but I do want someone to yell at him about it I like watching the world burn you know yeah I don't know if you saw the latest what we do in the shadows episode about the trolling but so good it is it makes me think of that where you know

it's part of the world you're feeding something by being a troll I guess they nailed so they incorporated the energy vampire into internet being a jerk on the internet in the last episode of what we did the shadow so smartly it's a perfect it's a perfect it's a perfect television show i'm obsessed of it i can't they nailed the energy vampire is so applicable to so many things but they nailed exactly what being getting into an internet fight does to you it just saps you of everything and it does nothing for you no period there's no other explanation there's no other excuse it's a waste of

your time. Regardless, I'm going to smile. Whether I fight about something or if I don't fight about something, I mean, I say, smile, I meant cry. I'm going to cry. You're crippled by the things people say. You were absolutely crippled. By the way, everyone who said mean things about her, just know, yeah, really upset. It really makes me. No, I am above it. I am, I am like an angel soaring above the pissy clouds and all the clouds are filled with piss, but I'm filled with pure oxygen. I'm just an oxygen angel. Why don't you come and sup? Get over here and sup for my goodness. I have also been mostly quiet today.

Holden and I both, when we first got together over Zoom, I was like, I mean, Holden said he hadn't talked to anybody today. I also haven't talked to anybody today. Kind of fun, though. It makes you out. It's like the juice is loose, but it's my mouth. Yeah, for sure. I love it.

Put him in a Bronco. Remember that? Guys, I think this is not. You want to talk about O.J.? Is that what we're talking about today? I'll talk about OJ whenever. Killed that woman, for sure. I was watching.

I will say I'm one of the many. millions, including the astronauts that were inside of it, the SpaceX launch was supposed to happen today, historic launch out of Cape Canaveral, first manned spaceship from a private business, that being Elon Musk. And they were supposed to go up today, and it got canceled because there was a tornado warning in Florida. But can you imagine being those astronauts? Inside, they're in, because it was only like 25 minutes before it was supposed to go off.

Can you imagine then being like, nah, actually, dude, you ain't going to space today? Right. Not today. And watching Apollo 13 not that long ago, wouldn't you think it was some sort of sign? I'd be like, you know what? Maybe I'm not supposed to go into space.

Maybe I'm not supposed to be there. I mean, it's like me and my Keisha tickets. It's just like you and Keisha. Because it was like I was supposed to go see Keisha this month. It's Kesha, it's Keisha. Yeah, well, who's it's, what is it? Keisha. He's from the Carolinas.

That's Kayia. To me, she's Keisha. and I was supposed to go and then it was like, ticket message was like, no, no, no. No, the pandemic said no, no, no. And so I was like, no, you know, and I'm sure the way I felt.

They said it to me about Orville Peck too. I'm sure the way I felt during that was exactly how those SpaceX astronauts felt. Honestly, I'd rather, well, maybe not rather, but if you're going to be quarantined, why not be quarantined in space is my thinking? Same kind of cool. Same dip.

Yeah, they had to like tell, there were astronauts out there that they had to like tell about same thing with the Big Brother thing it's like Big Brother syndrome right it's like might as well ignorance is bliss you're already quarantined tell the astronauts and they're like whatever I don't care yeah they're just like what

well I think they were returning and they're like hey so when you get in tomorrow we gotta talk about it you know what I mean which is tough well same thing happened with Jared Lido at least they didn't make them stay in space they would have been sad if they were like so

because of everyone's staying at home. So your home is space now. So you have to stay in space. And yeah, you're right, Jackie, too. That was the same thing as Jared Leto when he went on his weird acid trip at Joshua Tree. No, he was on a silent retreat. Duh.

Would you guys do that? Would you guys do that? I thought about a silent retreat so many times. I've definitely thought about it. Yeah. You're out west, right, Jackie. So you have a lot of opportunities to do that sort of thing. I've had several friends go on them.

And the idea has always sounded so appealing silence. How nice. But I don't know if I could hack it. But it does sound nice. That's the real key, right, Molly? I don't know if I could hack it. In theory, it sounds fascinating. But in actual practice, like, what are we talking about here?

Three days of pure silence? Is that what we're kind of thinking? Well, there's, I knew people that would do it. The dude that I talk to about it all the time did it solidly, usually for 10 days. 10 days. The one that he did, he couldn't write in it. So you just meditate. It's meditating and no talking.

Wait, that's it. Because could he not write for himself? Like, I understand you can't write notes because that would be communication, but he can't even write for himself. You could only journal for certain parts of the day. Wow. One hour out of the day, you could write things down.

So it was about like freeing your mind and freeing the idea of not only communication with yourself but with other people. I get it, but I don't know, dog. That sounds too intense. I like the three-day one, and for an hour a day or a half an hour a day, you actually sit in a circle and, like, talk about stuff.

Sorry, as I was opening something, and cars for kids came up, like a little bitchy colt. Why are you getting cards for kids? I don't know, man. I wrote cars for kids in an email, and just to you guys yesterday, and now a huge ad just popped up for, I didn't even say it in front of the computer.

You're on the West Coast. I didn't even say it in front of the computer. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to change it. What were you saying, Molly? I want to know what parts of my mind would be unlocked by silence. Like, there's definitely a lot in there that is being drowned out by the noise, you know? And the screaming. And the screaming.

Yeah, and the screaming. That's the thing. I think that's all I'm drowning out is just sort of like an annoying little man that lives inside me. Roundtable Holden is essentially what I'm blocking out. And then I don't know if I can unleash that beast again. That's really what it is. I think without Roundtable, at least for me personally in my life, of being a weird part of you that lives in the dredges,

that I miss sometimes being the worst part of myself. You know? You can't get it out. And then it tries to sneak out in other ways. So imagine the kind of things you would write down. Imagine the book you would write about yourself if you went to a silent retreat. But I feel like I would try to get around. We try to get around the silence by just being like,

like, is that, if I'm not talking, does that count? Walking around making tea at the silent retreat, but being like, just see if everyone would be driven mad. Just fucking with people on the silent retreat. I mean, it sounds evil. It looks evil. It is evil.

That is terrifying. That is terrifying. Well, I'm going to definitely give John Krasinski the silent treatment. Whoa. If he called me tomorrow, I was like, I want you to be Lil Jack Ryan, right? And like have a hip hop album and stuff.

I'd be like, no, I'm not going to be Lil Jack. I'm going to be holding and I'm not talking to you because some good news. Forward that telephone call to me because I'll be Lil Jackie Ryan. And I will bust open a door. I don't know what Jack Ryan does because I'm throwing out there. I haven't seen it. I'm sure he's busted open at least one door during the course of that TV series. It definitely sounds like a TV series that door busting happens.

Yeah. And almost every single episode. I'm a bust some doors. I hope that's what he says right before he bust through all the doors. All right. It is a political thriller spy web television series. Snorr! Characters from the fictional Ryanverse created by Tom Clancy.

Wait. Is this the one with Tom, the movie franchise with Tom Cruise? What am I thinking of? No, no, that's some Jim Joe or something like that. Jack Reacher. Jack Reacher. Isn't it that all the same? No, he's in Spanish.

No, it's not Jack Richard. God, it's so boring. Oh, jeanne. This is the daddest of dad shit. I hate it. The first season follows the titular CIA analyst as he is wrenched from the security of his desk job into the field after discovering a string of dubious bank transfers,

which were being carried out by a rising Islamic extremist named Soleiman. I'm going to give it four oopses down. Oh, no, but what about the pay... He did Patriot games. I was just talking about Tom Clancy yesterday. Tom Clancy is on the move through my hemisphere right now. He's dead. I was what I say.

He's definitely not moving at all. He's past. He's definitely dead. All right, Pete. Hang on. I need you guys to Google the image for Jack Reacher and the image for Jack Ryan because they are indistinguishable from one another. Of course they are.

Absolutely indistinguishable. Oh, my God. They're the same. Oh, man. It's for a minute. Oh, it's a white man for America. Oh, now I get it. And isn't Jack Reacher also a Tom Clancy?

No, it's written. It's some. No, he's an ex-military sniper. Yeah. And it's a sniper. Oh, one's a sniper and one's the snipee? Oh, Rosamond Pike is it? Oh, she's the defense attorney.

Ooh. I can just see Tom Clancy and they're like, well, I've written another book that's exactly all of my other ones. Perfect. I think I'll call it. I think I'll call it Bill George That's a good one

Those are two first names of a white guy Let's just put him together He wrote clear and present danger That is a great one Stephen Charles He's an FBI oh who gives a shit Just purchase it for millions of dollars

America See this is why we have Jeremy Renner trying desperately To make a name for himself In music Because he knows that he's just the other hawk eye. He's just every other, he's just a man with a bow and arrow.

Look at me, nerd girl. And that's why he's making music now. So John Krasinski, I ask you, when will you start being the rock and roll star we need you to be just like Jeremy Renner? I don't want that. Can you please start fucking vaping for the love of God? So if you don't start vaping, I'm going to be like mean to you and a message board that you'll never read.

John Krasinski is just. He just occupies that like, oh, he's fun type of celebrity space. And so I don't have any interest in puncturing that bubble. He is fun. But I also don't want him to like take artistic risks, you know, just stay in your little box, you know. Just do it, man. Unless it turns out that you actually are a very, very interesting and risk-taking creative person, in which case, fine. I mean, he worked for a very long time to get quiet place made with his wife.

That is like he and Emily Blunt's baby like things like that. Hell yeah. That's right. I knew he had something interesting about him. It was quiet place. Yeah. And also talk about daddy, daddy daddy daddy, I will be quiet for you, daddy. That's the quiet place.

Maybe that's what's going to happen after the pandemic. We're going to realize, oh, they were just putting their eggs under the ground. And then the big beast aliens are going to come out. We all got to be quiet. Right. I'll tell you this, though. If I have to choose to make out with either Emily Blunt or John Grisinski, you know I'm going with Emily Blunt.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I want both. Yeah, they're fine. And I'd be like this, I'd be like, not to be too blunt about it. Me lady like to appreciate a lip touch with me. I can immediately hear, I can hear her saying, no from here. No, thank you. It would be more, no.

I want to see what Mary Poppins' Vagina looks like. No. It's got an umbrella that pops out of it. Oh my God, she's got so many magical purses. I don't know. I've never seen it. She's got a magical purse, right?

Is that what the thing is? She's got a magic purse. She's got magic shoes. She's got a magic house. Oh my God, and she also has penguins. Great Segway. Penguins in the museum. Oh, my God.

Oh. Oh my God, the penguins went from the Penguins from the Kansas City Zoo paid a visit to the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art. What you don't know about penguins is they like looking at art. And there's all these cute photos and the penguins are so small and the artwork is so big. I love their little feet and I imagine what their little feet sounds like on the little marble floor at the museum. You just flap, flap, flap, flap, flap. And oh, my God, just how excited they must be to be on a field trip. Of course.

What are they doing about the shit, though? Because there's no way those penguins aren't dumping dumpers all over that museum hall, right? I mean, come on. I don't honestly know a whole lot about penguin dump. Do they dump in one place or do they dump sporadically? Well, as the regional expert on this podcast, I will say that penguins, they like to take dumpers wherever they stay. You know what I mean? And a lot of times it can be a sign that they're...

Well, essentially, I think it was a rating system for the paintings is what they found. They'd take two dumps in front of it if they thought it was a shitty painting. You guys. And if they thought it was a good one, they'd just take one dump in front of it. I have to read you the list of Google search results for Can You Potty Train A? Because they're quite good. There is, first, can you potty train a duck? Can you potty train a goat?

It's like a children's book. Can you potty train a rabbit? Can you potty train a chicken? Can you potty train a bird? Can you potty train a pig? What are the answers? Can we? What are the answers, Molly?

I just have the searches. You want me to search everything? Can you potty train a monkey? Can you potty train a ferret? Can you potty train guinea pigs? Can you potty train a hamster? Oh my God. Imagine a guinea pig with a little dipy on.

Maybe I should search what animals can be potty trained. See, that's, yeah. That's where you do it. Well, a mini-donkeys should be fairly quiet, easy to handle, and affectionate. They enjoy people and are pack animals. You can train a mini-donkey to help and pull a cart. They can also carry a pack making them a great companion for hiking and backpacking. Back to you, ladies.

Well, also, I will say, number one, you cannot potty train a duck. They don't have sphincter muscles. Give it to them. Is there not a scientist that could give these ducks? some fucking sphincter. Maybe we'll talk to Elon Musk. You can have my brown star if you want, ducks. Oh no, but then you're going to be shitting everywhere.

Lexi will really leave you B-star chitting everywhere. Guys, I don't mean to jump the gun here, but I have a list. Okay. I want to hear it. We're doing it. Well, should we do it? A quiz. Let's do it like a game.

Okay. You tell us the animal and we'll save. Wait. So I'm going to tell you the animal and you're going to guess potty trained or not potty trained. Yes. Yeah, but you have a list of animals that are potty trained. So I'm gonna just have to name random animals And then you're gonna tell me you gotta juke us

Yeah, it's not gonna work at all And this makes sense You said you can name an animal that could be potty trained It's not that fucking list people How dare you don't know Some have sphincters It's not like the duck It's not like people decided like

Oh we just can't do it with the duck Oh we're not powerful enough to potty trade the duck We can't do it with the duck New way to do it new way to do it We will name three animals You will tell us And at the end you will tell us Who had more correct answers

Okay There are so many animals, Holden. How are you going to... Okay. No. I'm going to go with that. Okay, all right. Bear...

What about your house goose? There's housegoose.com about training your house goose. Bear, beaver, and squirrel. This is a chaos way to do this. Bear, beaver, or squirrel are not on the list. Wow, I got zero for zero. Jackie, what are you going with? Wow.

Well, apparently, I don't know if goose is on the list because apparently, You can try to teach a goose, but the question was, just who is training whom? What is your goose learning? Is it learning to behave or to have manners, or is it learning that it can manipulate you? This is a very angry article on housegoose.com. Apparently all the geese are trying to manipulate you, so don't try, because they will win. All right, so I got to come at you with three animals. three animals that can be potty trained.

I know cats can be potty trained. I just want to throw it out there. There's got to be some guy somewhere who's just a goose-hating fucking asshole. Like, who's just sitting at his basement just spreading mean lies about geese. Or maybe we are the ones. Maybe we're the ones that are wrong. Have you thought about that? Maybe.

Or maybe it's the first goose that's ever been able to write a blog. And he's trying to like mess with us humans. I get it. All right. So house animals that can be trained. Again, I already said, well, I won't say cat again because I know cats can be trained because I've seen it with mine eye. I'm going to say ferret. I'm going to say turtle.

And then for the last one, a llama. All right. So Jackie wins because ferret is correct. Because I got none. Yes. Well, I got none. Well, to be fair, you're choosing three out of an infinity amount of animals. and 10 that are on this list.

And honestly, this list is a little bit whack because the headline is 10 unusual animals that can be house trained. But number nine, incredibly, is ducks. And incredibly, you're correct, Jackie. They say ducks can be incredibly friendly and exciting to have, but they are stubborn and tend to just let the feces slide out

wherever they see fit. And so this list... They don't have signature muscles. This list's definition for house training No amount of coerzing or a scolding will work with them, but the great news is put a diaper on a duck and the mess is minimal, but the companionship is unbeatable. Yeah. No, how does he wag his little tail? Haven't you see the TikTok video with the, throw it back, throw it back when he's like with the duck that shakes its butt?

And honestly, and then I can't like dress him up like Donald Duck properly because he's not supposed to have any pants or anything on there. Yeah. I winnie the poo a lot. I will say that. Now, this is why, again, this all goes back to get yourself one of those ducks that lives outside your door. Then you don't have to worry about potty trading it at all. Yeah, that's correct. Wait, were penguins on the list?

Penguins were not on the list. I have not yet solved the penguin question, but I'll just go straight to that question because that's the real question. Who knows, who gives a shit whether a pygmy goat can be potty trained, which apparently I think they're the ones giving the shit. Hey guys, come on. Hey. Come on. Body training jokes.

Come on. Uh, I do, um, thought about this before. Isn't that really what quarantine is for? Is finding out the things that you never really thought about before? Like, does Joe Exotic's husband have sex with a member of Too Hot to handle? What? Bryce Hirshberg. Molly and Holden, I felt like this article was written for us.

What? Because there are pictures that apparently Joe Exotic's current husband, Dylan Passage, has been partying with Bryce from Too Hot to Handel. Remember Bryce, the one with the boat? And he was always talking about his boat. Yes. And no one wanted to have sex with Bryce. And weird enough, this all is happening on a boat.

Is this his boat that he's always talking about? Well, his whole thing was, oh, okay, there you know. Oh, everyone will sleep with me because I have a boat. And I, half of our house was like, this guy is not even in the same league as anyone else on this show. And then the other half was like, he's nice and fine. And I was so outraged because that guy was a creeper boat guy who did not even deserve to be around all those other hot people. A thousand percent. Big time creeper, but he had the blind confidence of a person that thinks they're hot.

And that's why he got a little bit of play. Definitely. Just a little bit. Honestly, on too hot day handle, though, I really feel like he didn't even have a good enough personality to warrant being there. He wasn't hot enough and he was kind of a dick. But not even enough of a dick. You got to be hotter and much more of a dick if you're going to play that game. But apparently just enough of a dick for Dylan Passage to climb aboard that boat.

I'm assuming climb aboard that man, but who knows what happens when the captain's door has been closed. there is a kiss on the cheap picture between the two of them I definitely think that Mr. Tiger King's boyfriend even though they're still technically together is certainly fucking during this time outside of prison I don't know if they're having sex my favorite thing about this though was like don't worry guys we're being really careful only 15 people

are allowed on this tiny boon at once so it's all good everything's cool and it's like what are you doing? I am terrified walking down the street street when there's no one on the block. But they'll get on a boat and they're kissing each other on their cheeks. I don't touch anyone outside of my partner. I live with two people and we don't touch each other. Can we also talk about how grim the quarantine addition of Too Hot to Handle Reunion was? Because I was extremely depressed watching it. I was like, I don't want this.

I don't think we, no, no, we did watch it. I think we, yeah, it was definitely. It was definitely real, real, real dumb. It's sad. I know, that's what I'm upset about with the 90-day fiancé one too, because they're all going to be quarantined. So no one's going to be sick in their fingers in anybody's face, telling them like it is. And that's where I get my truths from the 90-day fiance tell-alls.

It's like being at work watching a Zoom call, you know, but instead it's a too hot to handle recap. I was like, I don't want this. Don't do this. Just wait. Just wait until. Worny people, people that are so horny, they can't even win money by not having sex contained, caged, away from each other.

It's just, it's upset. It's like when I go to the zoo and I get upset looking at the animals because I know that they want to be free. They want to go to the museum. Yeah, they want to be humping on each other and drinking tequila and and, you know, holding their, holding a pillow over their lap while they joke with a woman because they're big boner. Oh, just like Bryce did many times. He does have those big, beautiful green eyes, though. I loved how many, especially the British dope dope dude.

How much you saw them just tightly clutching a pillow over right where their boner is because they're talking to like a smoking hot girl in a bikini is something more fun. And they have these teeny tiny shorts on. They're like, oh, I just wish I could touch her. That's what's happening in their head. Oh, their short shorts are my, the man, the man's, short shorts in Too Hot to Handle are my favorite part of Too Hot to Handle. I love short shorts on a man. I don't know if I think that, I think that you rock it.

As long as it's not going, I think no matter what, Ginger, you are rock short shorts if you like it. My problem is short shorts go up into the no hole zone that I have, you know, like the dark areas that live where nothing shows. So that's why I don't wear short shorts. God. Uh, yeah. I will, a question for the ladies here that I'm talking to. Oh, that's scary. Well, you know, back when I was in middle school and high school and I don't want you to picture a young Holden with a big old, well, let's be fair. A small old boner.

Um, uh, did you notice that a lot, especially a little younger, no? That was like the last thing you were. I only noticed when you were, uh, I did a lot of booty dancing, though. So that was the only time I ever noticed. Then it's, yeah, yeah. That was such a weird ritual. Was that not? So weird.

What a bizarre. I think we should start it back again. I'm sad. Both of your weddings, no booty dancing was happening. I wanted grinding. Again, my favorite thing about Too Hot to Handle was that they were all as horny as a middle schooler. And I was like, you know what?

I miss being a horny middle schooler in a way. I don't miss anything about middle school. But I like the energy of how, like I would that we were all, you know, 24 years old and acting like freaking 13 year olds in their parents' basement. You know, I think it's great. God love it. I can't believe how thirsty I was. You know what I used to, I remember I used to draw pictures of Cedric Diggery

and what I thought Cedric Diggery would look like. And then I would just like kiss the page and just think about how like suppily he would kiss me. I was too young to be like I was so, I was feverish for wanting touch. But I think I've talked about this on this. show before recently, but it was always confusing because my, the way that I knew that the boys had boners all the time was because they would talk about them all the time. You know, like I wouldn't, it wasn't that I saw them. It was that they were always talking about how hard they were all the time. Because we had them in class at so much, at all the time. And what a fun game, if you

go back into time to your childhood self, would be watching every boy in the room get up at the end of class and figure out, try to figure out which ones had it, had a bone bone. Because that was the most terrifying part of your day is if you had a boner and class ended and you had to get up out of your chair was the scariest part of being a middle and high school. Yeah, well, I was a sweaty girl, so I was always scared about raising my hand because I always sweat through my shirts. Me too. And I was so embarrassed about it. You did that thing. I was always so scared. And now I couldn't even possibly give a fuck. I see people sweat.

It's like who possibly cares? But man, six years of my life, I was terrified of raising my hand. Yeah, the amount of like time that I lost thinking like, what if somebody sees that I have sweat and my arms? Like it's so sad. I like, I grieve for the lost time, you know? Like, because yeah, now I'm like, I don't care at all. But I cared so much.

Yeah. What's funny is having a boner in public is still incredibly embarrassing. There is nothing not embarrassing. If someone were to find out I had a voter and call it out for a bunch of people, that today would give me as much shame, if not more, than when I was in middle of night school. Don't give me this ammo, Holden. Don't tell me these things. Not that I'm going to try and start looking, but, you know, it is the part of a younger sister type friendship where I was going to be like,

Ew. Is that a normal bodily function? Yuck. Luckily, it's just not as prevalent of an issue. You can control it now. Two things that we're embarrassing then that are still embarrassing now getting a big boner

and unexpectedly getting your period. I feel like those are two things that you are correctly that if they happen now in your 30s, you're like, ah, fuck, you know. Yeah. I'm going to go with that is worse probably, unexpectedly, especially in high school,

unexpectedly getting your period and probably high school sucks. That is definitely still something that is in it. Like, I can't. I don't bleed anymore, but I still, you don't want it. It's more of just like, ugh. And then you have to try and make a joke about it.

Right. After, well, I had an IUD for five years and I didn't get one, and then I was pregnant and I didn't get one for nine months. And then I was breastfeeding and I didn't get one for like six months. And the first time I got it, I felt like I was 12 years old.

I was like, what is this? What's happening? What's happening? No, that's what I'm scared about. I'm about five years clean, man. I don't know what I'll do. Yeah, it's rough. Well, I bet you'll also be scared by this week's celebrity conspiracy.

No! Don't make me period. I'm so scared. This week again, this is by request. That's how it works, Holden, and in case you ever wanted to know, that's what happens. Whenever women get scared, they get their period. Jesus God. Why would anyone go to a horror movie?

So this one was done by request This one involves This is our second time We're talking about a celebrity for a second time Or the first time we're talking about a celebrity For the second time. Beyonce, it's almost as if a black woman Can't just be successful on her own marriage

There has to be some sort of witchcraft involved Or something like that. She's very strong and don't trust her. Continue. It must be magic. It's a bit of a two-parter But I will just call this entire thing Beyonce mother not mother

Oh, yes, please. You talk about that belly slip, bro? Oh, yeah, but first of all, before we get to the belly slip, her scene round the world. First, we'll talk about is Beyonce Solange's mother? Oh, I like this one. Yeah, probably. It's a big one.

The theory purports that Beyonce gave birth to Solange and that she is actually 46 years old. So it's like a triple dipper in terms of the type of conspiracies that are around. Not only is she much older than she claims to me, but she's also the mother of her sister and not her sister. Okay, I get it. Her given date of birth is September 4th, 1981, meaning she would have been too young to have Salon,

she was born in 1986. However, the theory suggests that she was actually born in 1974, which would have her pregnant at 12 or 13. The theory seems to come from someone's blog post that I read almost all of online who claims to have worked at Beyonce's Columbia record label and they claim to have seen a picture of her driver's license that was

on their manager's computer once that says she was actually it was 1974 Okay Trustworthy. Okay, all right, okay Now who's the father? I mean, to get a little dark I don't want to be that dark but we know

that she has a very rough time with father manager. Yes, with her father, there's claiming maybe, but then they're also claiming that her father's not actually her father. Oh, is he also happens to be a lot older and he's her grandfather and then her real father was killed in some sort of, oh, I don't know, maybe a Luminati accident because maybe he had too much to say? Elimani accident involving heavy machinery?

Yeah. Who knows, Jackie? You're on to something there. I might be a conspiracy theory. Let's, should we start a blog? Start a blog. Do we need to start a blog? Who starts a blog these days?

Remember that time? Remember when everyone had a blog? Now everyone has a podcast on. I actually, I saw someone posted, like, a throwback from like eight years ago where he was in a magazine or something alongside like, Janice, 25, like, professional blogger. I saw that. I was like, man, like, man, when was the last time? Wow. You, like, but yes, it is, blogging is the same.

I have a podcast. And then you can watch everyone roll their eyes in whatever room you're in. Especially, I'm sure, in L.A. Beyonce, did she fake her pregnancy? The two part. This is the second part of the whole situation. It's scary. In 2011, she was pregnant and birthed of blue ivy.

Or did she? The first evidence is the lack thereof. Only a few pictures of her stomach exist to document the pregnancy. And seemingly impossibly, she was able to give birth in a Manhattan hospital without any info about the event leaking. Of course, we talked about this, I believe, way back when, that they bought out the entire. floor of this hospital. Sounds great. All this stuff.

But I will say, I mean, that is still kind of crazy that nothing leaked, even with them buying out the entire floor, or also the heavy amount of secrecy too. Nah, man, that's Beyonce. You can't be walking around. Imagine I'm walking around the hallway with my newborn baby

and I see Beyonce because she just gave birth to. No, of course you could have ran out the whole floor. Of course she is, but it is crazy that she was able to hide so much of it for so long, but at the same time, didn't Kylie Jenner and nobody was barking up her tree either.

They just go into essentially almost a solitary confinement so that they can't have anyone see them. But even when Beyonce was in the hospital, they had security take out. I don't know if they took it out or covered all of the security cameras. But that has to be,

I would be scared, honestly. if I was a celebrity, don't take away the security cameras. What if somebody found out? What if something happened? I just feel like if you're a celebrity, you just add that to the to-do list, you know, like you're having a baby, okay, set up the nursery, you know, baby registry, et cetera. And then just add, like, figure out a totally secure tight way to give birth without everybody up in your shit, you know?

But then also you're going to talk about Flatgate, right? Yes, we're about to get there. Don't worry, I know. I know you're thrilled to talk about it. I mean, it is such a ridiculous picture. And if you guys want to Google the picture now, I'm not going to show you that picture. But I think if you just look at either way.

In September, she claimed that her due date was in February. But the very same month, she claimed she was six months along, which contradicted the previous statement. That is actually compelling evidence to me. In the video for her song, Party, which was shot during the pregnancy, see, there is no hint of a bump. Another photo, here we go. For her, another photo a week after the VMAs was taken of her wearing a bikini in Croatia.

Oh, this is different. Revealed a much smaller bump than what she presented at the VMAs. And the biggest evidence, as Jackie alluded to, is during an interview with Australia's Sunday night, referred to as the bid the bend seen around the world. Wow. It appears her bump deflates as she sits down. I mean, I remember when all you ballists were talking about the Tom Haverford and his flat balls in your bowls, in your Super Bowls.

But this is different, okay? This one is different. I think what makes me sad is that not to, and it actually does kind of make me sad, is that if she didn't have this kid and she had a surrogate, have a child for her. Which, by the way, totally fine. Totally fine.

Totally fine. I think that it's completely understandable. Makes so much fucking sense. Like, her body is so much, is her business. I understand that. But what makes me sad is that if she had a surrogate and she was too scared and too afraid of the backlash of people saying like, oh what, you don't even want to give your body to be able to have a kid, you're that selfish, that you don't even.

want to do these things like, oh, you're, that's what makes me upset. There's no problem with having surrogate. That's great. Like, even Kim Kardashian was really, I think, as much as I don't usually have lots of good things to say about her, she is helping normalize the idea of surrogacy. Yeah. I think that's awesome of Kim Kardashian for sure. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. And so the way that the belly goes in is weird. Molly, are you looking at it? You know what we're talking about, though. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, I think it's hilarious because in the pictures, to me,

it just looks like she's bending down. Like, I don't really see a, I don't totally see. It doesn't look like a, it doesn't disappear. I don't know. I'm looking at the pictures. I remember them from the time. It always looks to me like, I don't know. People are really, really, really weird about your pregnant belly.

So this is like, I think that when this happened, I had not ever been pregnant. And I was like, yeah, deflated belly or whatever. But then, like, having been pregnant and having people scrutinized, people are so weird. People are like, like my first kid, I showed really, really small. Like, I had a really small belly. And people were like, eight months? No, you're six months. No, you're five months.

No, I'll bet you're a boy. No, you're carrying low. I'll bet you're girl. People are just so weird. Like, they're so. And then my second one. They all have something to say. Yeah.

And then my second one, because I had just had. one, I like showed a lot bigger and they're like, oh, you're already this. I wouldn't get this. And so it's just like, you know, it's hard for me to do anything other than be like, I don't know. And the other thing is that Beyonce in Homecoming talks about like having preeclampsia and having an emergency C section with her twins and I had preeclampsia and emergency C section. And so like I find Beyonce and her pregnancy and childbirth journey to be like so like something

that has been so meaningful to me. And so again, it's funny looking at these pictures. I think that you and me and Marcus talked about it at the time years ago before. Well, because she and Jay-Z do have that uterus farm. The Uldin's not aware of the uterus farm. Oh, the plot. They have a uterus farm overseas that they ship in the swimmies and they put them in and then they sell the babies.

Oh, I put my coming. to the farm. You should send your comies to the farm. I think that it might, you know. Send the comies to the farm. But I'll send them comies to the farm. Don't wait long as in comies to the farm or else the unit or I won't grow won't grow. I love that. Sing along. We sing that every summer camp. We would sing that one. I love it so much. Cummies to the farm is a jam, a stray jam to sing right after winning or losing the archery competition and then right before trying to kiss Suzy by the swing set and that not going particularly well. Beyonce responded to the rumors saying it was fabric that folded.

Does fabric not fold? Oh my gosh. So stupid. She also said it's actually the most ridiculous rumor. I think I've ever had about me. But there are actually a lot of people that believe this rumor and it's crazy. I guess there are some crazy celebrities in the world so we get a bad rep. But to think that I would be that vain and I would respect mothers.

And I respect mothers and women so much and to be able to experience. bringing a child into this world, if you're lucky and fortunate enough to get the opportunity. People should have boundaries. There are certain things that you just shouldn't play around with. And a child, you don't play around with that. Exactly what someone would say if they were hiding a pregnancy. That's why I love Hillary Duff so much. I've become crazy obsessed with Hillary Duff because she's very protective of her children and the

paparazzi. And she doesn't give a fuck what the paparazzi has to say. She's just like, stay the fuck. away from my kids. She just like, guess it. She's like, I'm famous. They are not. Do not take pictures of them.

You want a picture? Take a fucking picture. Take a picture of me. She does a lot of that and I respect that. I love it. But also, Beyonce in Homecoming when she fucking comes back to work and she has to dance her ass off for months and months after giving birth. Oh my God.

It's just so amazing how she's like, yeah, I like recovered from giving birth. my body was wrecked and then I came and then I just danced for like hours and hours and hours and hours every day. It's so beautiful and inspiring. And yet she didn't have to do any of that because she wasn't actually pregnant. Because she didn't have the child. Easy. Easy. When you have a uterus farm.

Is Beyonce Solange's mother? I think if she is Solange's mother, then she had the baby. You know what I mean? Because then it's old to have. It's either or for you. Yeah. Molly? I'm gonna say not Salonja's mother.

The fight in the elevator, I don't know. Beyonce, did she fake her pregnancy, Jackie? Um, no, I'll choose the nice one. I don't actually think she would ever, ever, ever do that. So upset you have to choose the nice one. You're so mad about it. I love it. I want to believe.

Molly, are you X files about this? No, we knew the answer before we were. I haven't said it out loud. We've got a bit of a molder and a molder here. Yeah, every week. Every week I want to believe, but this week I don't want to believe. I get it. Actually, I forget which one's which.

Or is a scully and a skull. Who gives a shit? Oh, yeah, we're scullies. We're scullies. Scully and scullies. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm a bit of a molder. I believe it all.

Don't you want to believe? Believe. Yeah, you fucking red shoe diaries, bitch. I don't think you. No, but that would make sense. If she had Solange and she was actually now in her mid-40s, it would be much harder for her to conceive. So I'm going to say yes and yes.

This is why I said. That's why I was like, if she is the mother of Solange, then yes. Oh, okay, gosh. That's the, you know. Well, I guess I'm done, so I guess I don't know what time it is. I think it's time for the law. We can't see them. Jack.

Jackie, don't be alarmed. I can still hear you in my headphones, but I'm going to grab a second white claw. Please. All right, fine, fair. But you didn't even finish the song. He didn't even sing the proper song. so Molly please start it over again alone. I'm going to do it without him.

Who's on the list? It's on the list. Getke! That list. I made it back in time. I think I might take bring this list back next week because I don't think we have time to get through all of it. This was a very interesting one. 26 celebrities that have visible scars and the stories behind them.

Because it is definitely the kind of thing that you don't, you shouldn't bring up. I immediately, in looking at this list, I remember reading it in bossy pants by Tina Faye. Yeah, I was going to say Tina Faye. That's not that you ever ask a person. You have to know someone for years to be like, so how did you get that scar? Like, because it is like, it is a part of their story,

but when you immediately ask someone like, what's that are your face? What about your face? It's very upsetting. It's very rude. Yeah. So that's why I thank God we've got lists like this. Because how else would we know that Tommy Flam?

who also is, I, oh, he's definitely a bit of a ditty. He's a Scottish ditty for me. He has a facial scar that is known as the Glasgow smile. He grew up in Glasgow, Scotland, in a rough part of the city. As he left a pub one night after a DJ gig, a group of people tried to rob him. He fought back and was stabbed. They slashed his face from ear to ear. And that's why he's got these crap.

But like, that's nuts, right? Joker face. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, dude. Tommy Flann. But like, he rocks it and it looks so good. How scary! That's, I think, why I was so invested because then, in reading Jason Mamoa,

which I did know this, Mamoa got the scar running across his left eyebrow because you can see because his eyebrow never is fully all the way grown in. He was at a Hollywood bar when a man attacked him with a broken pint glass and cut him. The actor had to get 140 stitches

during reconstructive surgery. Meanwhile, Momoa's attacker was sentenced to five years in prison. Damn. Crazy. What about Sean Beam? These are all very interesting stories. These are great. I'm just, I can't believe I actually found a good list this week.

I'm proud of me. I'm proud of me. Because I was going, well, I won't say the other list I was going to do because I'm sure it will come back. What was the other list? I want to know what the other list is. What was the other? Oh, the other list was about people marrying inanimate object.

That will come back. Don't worry. But this actually has to do with pop culture, and it was something I was excited about. Sean Bean, you all know Sean Bean. Jean Bean got the scar in his face when Harrison Ford accidentally hit him

with a boat hook. They were shooting Bean's death scene, spoiler alert, in 1992 movie, Patriot games all comes around. Tom Clancy. What are you trying to do? However, there's an upside to all this. Bean's scar meant that he looked much more rugged than before

and landed him a role in Sharps' rifles. Don't know this movie. The Scar also gave Bean's characters, Boromir, I do know that movie, in the Lord of the Rings, and Odysseus and Troy more depth and a certain world weariness. And I know that this is a very dumb thing to say.

I always, I love face scars, and I always kind of wanted a face scar. yourself one. Okay, I'll do it. I think it's why I was always fine when ever I wanted to get a lip ring and it was like, no, don't. You'll see it. You'll always see it in your face. But I like

the look of someone that's taken out their lip ring and let it grown over, you know? Uh-huh, uh-huh. Isn't that part of this? That's fun? Yeah. And then there's Tina Tina Faye, which I was just talking about in the movie movie book.

Whoa, Jackie. I had to burp up my wine. I'm sorry. Uh-oh. Jackie went to the no brain zone. Movie book. You know what's like when you're talking and your brain just goes no? And just shut off my brain shut off. Move brain, boy.

You like went in a slow motion. Yeah, it was very excited. It was like a looted to. Like a wily coyote situation or something. Tina has a thin scar running underneath her lips to the left side of her face. A violent attacker assaulted her with a knife when she was five years old

and the man was never found. It's terrifying. I think also it's just another one of these weird little true crime things that make you think like and unsolved mysteries of man, just anything can happen and affect you for the rest of your life, right? Uh-huh. Yeah.

That, we're not talking about him, but we will talk about Keanu Reeves. I didn't know this because of this sexy, sexy picture of him when around the time when he was in, I'm assuming this is around the time when he was in Bill and Ted's excellent adventure. So it's a young picture of him

with his floppy little hair, and he's holding up his shirt with a big scar. Looks like he had a C-section. It does. Oh, no, C-section, Molly, it's sideways. It's the other way. It looks like Andy Warhol on the list, had a C-section, but it looks like

he had a C-Section. The other way. Some people have them that way, but usually it's the other way. Kianu Reeves got his abdominal scar when he wrecked his motorcycle into Panga Canyon. He was on a so-called demon ride,

which means having no headlights on at night when he crashed into the side of a mountain. He was hospitalized for a week with broken ribs and a ruptured spleen. Keanu talked about how he got his scar with Chris Heath of Rolling Stone Magazine. I call that a demon ride.

That's when things are going badly. But there's other times when he go fast. or too fast out of exhilaration. I remember saying in my head, I'm going to die. Keanu spent half an hour lying on the pavement for help arrived. I remember calling out for help and someone answering out of the darkness and then the flashing lights of the ambulance coming down.

This was after a truck ran over my helmet. I took it off because I couldn't breathe and a truck came down. I got out of the way and it ran over my helmet. This is all very scary. Keanu says that this is the lesson he learned. Now I know that if I want to take a demon ride and I don't want to die, then I shouldn't take it. He added that he had gotten a couple more demon rides out of his system and probably has a couple more left. I want to make a request that we skip ahead to who I think is the hottest person with the most famous facial scar.

Please. Do you want to take a guess of who I think it is? He's from the wire. Yeah, it's definitely Michael K. I love Michael K. I love Michael K. Williams. I love him so much and I love the wire so much. I love him. Love the wire.

Love his scar. Love the story behind the scar. You got it, girl. Actor Williams got his scar on his 25th birthday during a bar fight on Jamaica Avenue. What, what? That's my home. What, what? In New York City.

He drank too much, got in an argument with other men in a bar, and they cut him with a razor, blade from the top of his head to his neck. He nearly died. Since that night, William Scar has become his signature feature and helped him get offers to perform as a thug and music videos and gave him modeling opportunities with known photographers like David La Chappelle, which I don't know if I would call him a known for,

or maybe, is he, maybe he's separate, maybe he's a different David La Chappelle. Maybe. Or no, David La Chappelle. I was thinking of Dave Chappelle. My brain just. Yeah, David Lachpelle. Chappelle is the artist, right? I guess. I've never heard of him before. I'll look into him.

But apparently, he's worked with him. The cut on my face was actually the first hit of the fight, so he managed to escape with our lives, barely that night. Things changed immediately after that. Directors didn't want me to just dance in videos anymore. They wanted me to act out these thug rolls. They were like, Mike, roll these dice in this video. Have this fight in this video.

I was like, all right. I just love that he's like this. That's where we're going to end. we're going to come back to this list next week. He's this gorgeous man and then he got a scar on his face and all these directors were like, we've got roles for you. I will,

I would like to continue working with you because it gives him such an... But he's so hot. Oh my God. He's so hot, man. So if you Google David LaChapelle, like, you'll be like, oh, he is a very famous celebrity photographer, mostly that does like these giant, crazy art installation-y photo shoots with celebrities.

Looks like he... Yes. Photographed Beyonce To tie it all together Now I feel like a little silly, dumb bitch You are Jackie And you are also fading from my view I don't know what's happening right now

Oh no It's not because my brain has stopped working is it? Yeah, is it because you're so stupid No! Because I think I'm going Blind items! Oh, we can't see them! Or maybe you can.

Blind item number one I love that I thought for sure you were going to put this as an article for today's episode, but you did it. So here's a blind item based around this news story. The one thing you can always count on from this now to parted almost network B-plus list actor is his honesty. So he had no problems confirming a split of two of the stars of the show. He thinks being coy is crap.

The thing is that I honestly don't care anymore. You're talking about bughead. You're taught, because I looked into this. Wait, wait, bughead. Yeah, you're talking about Lily Reinhart and Cole Spouse. Oh, yes, but who is the person who, it's the reason why I pulled it was because, yeah, so of course, Lily Reinhart, Hart, rather, and Cole Spouse is, apparently, I think since this blind had been confirmed that they've broken out. A thousand percent. It seems like, because I've looked into this very, very surely.

They live in different places, and what it seems like is that they are, they have a very wonderful, passionate. relationship when they're together, but they've been quarantined separately. And it's like, it seems like, this is their third time breaking up, it seems like they almost break up every time they stop shooting. And then they get back together. So I wonder if that's not, maybe that is just like their thing. I don't think that it's like a, that's why I didn't talk about it. But who, so someone on set was a, was a loose-lipped ninnie, is what you're saying?

Yes, someone on set. Is it, is it skeet? Skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet what it is. Because he's such a daddy, he doesn't know these things. He just assumes everybody knows. By the way, he did a very saucy Instagram live in the pool with his girlfriend. How dare you? What?

Oh, I can't tell. And yes, it looks very saucy to me, ladies. And during it was asked by a fan, do you think Cole Spouse and Lily Reinhardt are a cute couple? And he answered, I think they were a very cute couple. They were a very cute couple. They're both beautiful people. Oh, Daddy, what are you doing? Daddy, you were supposed to tell everyone, Daddy.

How fun is that? That is fun. That is very fun. I mean, it is definitely fun. That's pretty good. But this is the real centerpiece, this next one. I love this so much. I think you guys are going to enjoy this.

And I will share my screen with you in just a little bit once you've guessed this. If you don't guess it, though, I won't share my screen. Fascinating. You're mean, no. Wow. The photo will. The photo. God, now I'm in bad brain jail.

Now I'm in bad brain. You got mush mouth bra. The photo will haunt your dreams once you see it. If you dare comment about the photo posted by the A-list, everything in her mind on her social media, you will be blocked in your comment deleted. She must really be trying to get a message across to someone. This is a pop star, a filmic actress, a, she's done it all.

She's... Gagah? No. She's one of those trippy threat ladies a little bit. But one of the threats isn't that strong. She's not been known for her singing. Oh, she's not known for her singing. Well, she sings, but she's not known as...

I'm giving away too much, I feel like. An actor and a... What's the other threat? Dancer? Yeah. I feel like she's stronger in the dancing category than she is in the singing category. And the acting category, she once was lost, but now she's bound.

Points was lost, but now she's found. She sucked. Jesus Christ. People thought she sucked and now she's gotten better recently. Okay. Oh, she was bad and she's gotten better. And it's not Lady Gaga. It's not Lady Gaga, no.

That was a good guess, Jackie. I mean, I'll give a obvious one, but I don't want to. Well, give us more than are obvious one. She is from NYC. She has been around for quite a while. She has hosted. You're talking about J-Lo? Yes.

Posted a picture. I'm going to share with you. Are you saying that J-Lo is not an amazing singer? Yeah, please. She's not that, no, I thought it was always known. Like, her singing wasn't like a strong suit that she was like a capable singer, but she's not like known for how great she can sing

like a Lady Gaga. Why are you a J-Lo Naino? Pride is what you have. Yeah, man. Jenny from the block. I'm sorry, guys. Oh, he's putting his sad emoticon. All I had.

You pride is what you had. baby girl how much you have all right so check out this picture you see I am I see I see I see I see the picture do you see the picture I know this picture I see the picture I see I see it do you know what the secret what's the secret just above her shoulder oh my God is that a man with a hand being held over his mouth possibly being held the captain is she deleting comments saying what that it is describe what you're seeing right now what I'm seeing like a gray like a, it's like a background on her curtain.

Molly, I have been staring at this picture multiple times over the past many days. There's it. Everyone's like, yeah, but who's that? Man, you look at the picture. You look at the picture. If you saw this in the background, y'all get something else to do with your time. Is he a sideways, man?

I guess. Wow. Comments are being deleted, but I will say as someone with the personal experience, saying that comments are being deleted is the easiest most unprovable bullshit thing to say about someone on the internet right now. They're deleting comments.

They are. They must be guilty of something. They must be doing it. They've deleted several comments. I don't know if you knew that, but like I, you know, because they can't prove that they haven't been deleting comments,

I guess they just definitely did it because one person just decided to say it as if it is fat. Isn't it like an assistant with a mask on? Did everyone forget that we all have to wear masks all the time. Well, people are saying that it looks like a hand over his mouth, but I do think, and that it is

a man being held hostage. Hold an arrow up. That is what it is. It has to be what it is. I cannot even see what it looks. I'm struggling. I'm struggling to even see. It looks like a magic eye photo. Yes. Like, I don't even see a face. It's like that thing where you see

a vase or do you see a, you know, a woman looking in the mirror? Like, that's what I'm looking at. It's like half of a face. It's like half of a face. It is an eye and a nose, very obviously, and what I think is probably a mask. And it is just someone who's like outside working out or something like that or just security team

or something like that. Is he sideways? Wait. But everyone's freaking out. I'm going to have to go look at this picture for like three hours to see what I see because I don't see shit. I get it. I think that, but or J-Lo and A-Rod

are the heads of some sort of sex traffic. ring. Specifically with bald men. And that's the ring that we need. I guess it's, I guess it's time, man. We haven't had one yet, as far as we know. I'm willing to die on that hill, I guess.

Well, she's the kidnapper. She's the Jeffrey to Our Varia when it comes to stealing people. And I'm the hell into my Keller. I can see again. Yay! It means asshole. Asshole.

That was great, Holden. I think maybe she just, you know, she took a picture in her home. I'm going to assume that J-Lo has a staff, right? Even like through all of this, I'm going to assume that she has a staff. Yeah, a chef, a bodyguards, all of it, all of it, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But still, maybe, you know, maybe who? knows. Who knows in this world? But also definitely, Beyonce, you are the mother of Solange.

And I, I'm sorry for you to have a child so young, but you know, you grew and you're stronger. You're just like a Kelly Clarkson stronger than yesterday. That's the Britney Spears. She thinks what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I'm done. Yeah. I love you guys. I love everything and everyone. I am of this earth. I didn't delete any fucking comments. and I am a good person. Maybe you did, though. Who knows? I guess we won't find out.

We'll never know if you're deleting the comments. It's unprovable. It's unprovable. I guess I can't prove it. We love you guys so much. Thank you for joining us this week on page seven. I had fun. At least I know, don't bring a goose in the house.

That's everyone's always saying don't. That's our new catcher. Don't bring a goose in house. Don't bring a goose unless you want to put a diaper on the goose. Yeah, it's all there to manipulate you. Don't forget that. My name is Jackie Zabrowski, and you can follow me on Instagram and Jack That Worm.

We also do pop history, and that's a lot of fun. I gave you, like, a little treat of what our next one's going to be. I feel like they know at this point that we also do a show on the same feed that they're listening to. What if they don't? What if they forget? What if it's something in a show? We'll do kind of weather. Twitch.tv.

4.slash Holdenators ho. Check it out. Jackie and I do Friday Night, Jackanee's. 6 p.m. E.T. It's always a party. More and more folks are showing up. We have doubled our numbers lately. It is unbelievable. It is an absolute party. If you're not there, you're absolutely missing out, especially right now when there's not actually a fun, cool thing to go do. And also check us out Patreon.com forward slash whizbrew. $5 a month. And I want to say, hey, check out our weekly stuff that Jackie and I do. But fuck all that because just get that subscription because Jackie is doing so much. heavy lifting with these audio books. We're doing it. We started the Jenners. We started the Rebels.

It is called Rebels, City of Inundra, the story of Lex and Livia. And it is, I don't want to say it's a slog, but I think it's something that we can do together. And doesn't that make us stronger? Let's all be a Beyonce together. And listen to me do this. Or else it's all for not.

Let's be a Kelly Clarkson together. Let's be a Kelly. Let's be a mall. Molly, what's your deal and we'll get out of here? MJKL Kat on Instagram. Hi guys, we love you so much. We'll talk to you next week. Hi, everybody.

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