Page 7 - Episode 362: Such Middling Heights

Episode Date: July 16, 2020

We talk about Nick Cannon, Lady Antebellum, and, it's a special double list!Join us as we journey into the twisted minds of the Kylie and Kendall over on our Patreon page! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You don't have to say what you did. I only know, uh, I found out from him. Now there's just no chance with you and me. There'll never be, don't me make you sad about it. Don't me love it. Why did you leave it all alone? Now you tell me you need me when you call me on the phone. I refuse.

You must have me confused with some other guys. The bridges will burn Now it's your turn To cry Oh my god guys It's me Jackie It's not just in Dipper Lake What? I know you're like

How did they get him on the show? It's a big get We did it, it's me I'm living in a hell A hell of your own making Jackie Barry Wise Zabrowski I wish my middle name were Barrywise

It is You were like We got to do Barry's Man You know what she calls it. It's nine in the morning. I'm like, what are you talking about it? Are you drunk? It's nine in the morning. You know what I mean? Yeah, but technically it's 6 a.m. my time, which means I'm just still up.

That's much worse. I was like, fine. We'll do a pop history on Britney Spears. And now I get a call a few days ago. And I was like, is that a Tyrannosaurus dying? And then I realized it was, and then I realized it was Jackie crying because she has gone too deep, down the Britney Spears vortex, and I'm Holda McNeely, and joining me is Molly as well. I'm so lucky.

I'm a star, but you cry, cry, and you cry. And I apologize, this isn't the show that we're talking about this on. However, we are starting our trilogy journey of Britney Spears that will become, the first episode will be coming out on Tuesday, and I am just bitch deep in upset. I'm worried about my sanity. Bitch deep is a good phrase. And I'm also B word deep. And I want to apologize for loving on Hamilton as much as I did last week.

Because I feel like, I don't know. I think that I might be wrong. I can't tell. No regrets. I've seen some hot takes online. And now I'm like, maybe it is bad, you know, to like it. It's hard to tell what's right anymore. I mean, not that hard.

Some things are very clearly right. But when it comes to... Somethings are very clearly bad. When it comes to pop culture and what we like, who the hell knows? You know, last week I said I didn't like Unsolved Mysteries. This week, I can't stop watching it. Oh, wow. Molly, it did.

I will say I appreciate you and I love you, Molly, very much for many, many reasons. But one of the main reasons is that you admitted that you actually enjoy Unsolved Mysteries now. You gave it more of a shot. I just want to say, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I still stand by the points that I made, which is that it's not unsolved mysteries. And even though they have the ghostly image of Robert Stack in the opening credits, which I did miss the first time around. And I don't know if that makes me feel like it's actually an homage or just like a haunting.

What if it was unintended and he's actually haunting the credits? That's what I'm saying. Haunting your television. Everyone else saw Robert Stack too, right? But it is, you know, they know how to tell a spooky mystery. And that really is what it's all about. So I am coming here a little bit humbled to say I am enjoying the show. I love you and I appreciate you.

So I, this came out right after we recorded last week. But they, essentially what they are doing, the producers of Netflix's Unsolved Mysteries, is taking all of the evidence in a huge. Google Drive of all of their episodes and put it on Reddit for Reddit sloughs to take it and run with it. I would like to take a step in. I was actually really glad you sent this towards our direction because Reddit is hilariously notoriously shitty at picking the wrong person and then doxing them and then ruining their lives. The biggest example was the Boston bomber, the Boston Marathon bomber, a bunch of a bunch of internet sleuths sat down and they all decided it was like this one kid and like people like they put out the address they put everything super not the kid so like just this kid's life was

like completely ruined by the whole as it is that they're doing that just i just want to throw it out that it that reddit specifically is notoriously shitty at um going way overboard and it like they're taking an investigation in their own hands how do we make them stop i I mean, I did watch Don't Fuck with Cats, so I do get it. But sometimes it's good. Sometimes it's good, for sure. Sometimes internet justice is good justice, and other times it is quite not good justice. And I feel like, yeah.

Gray area. It is a big, it's a big gray area. And of course, the original Unolved Mysteries, same thing like we were talking about America's Most Wanted. When I watch America's Most Wanted now, I'm like, yikes, because it was like, if you've seen this man in a hooded sweatshirt, kill him. You know, it's like, it's not. good, right? It was having that kind of like vigilante justice, like, you know, kind of like mobilized in a prime time show, I think was not necessarily like a good, definitely not a good thing for the

country. And I think probably like being like, everybody go figure out whether it's this guy who killed Ray Rivera is like probably not great. However, it is interesting and kind of fun to watch on Twitter. And if you think it's the guy, then get his head. No, don't. Take his head and take a picture of it. There was a very good tweet that was like, this was back during the Black Lives Matter protest.

Somebody said, oh, well, if we abolish police, then who's going to solve murders? Bitch, white women with podcasts. And I feel like that is like there's. Man, you get a couple of Pinoes in them. They've got something to say. And I get it. There's certainly examples of people who aren't cops solving mysteries. And that's what I think Unsolved Mysteries harnesses.

And I think that that is good. But like you said, holding Reddit has a bad track record for many things. Many things. They notoriously just an evil. Nazi. A group of people. See, the only thing I ever look at Reddit for are like the not suitable for work threads. And then I look at like pictures of fun,

um, geographical monuments and things like that. Like I like to look at the Northern Lights. You know, I look at pictures of like a cool bug. That's what I use Reddit for. Uh, our Melf,

uh, our Emma Stone, uh, our public freak out, our cringe, our cringe picks. I go on there to really get my jollies rustle to see something that shocks and,

frightens me a little bit. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like I actually am, I feel like I'm not someone who, like, doesn't have faith in humanity. I feel like I do have faith in humanity. And I feel like Reddit is like a reflection of the, still, yeah, I try.

Wow, I'm proud of you. Reddit is a reflection of the kind of spectrum of, like, cool shit happens there. People will totally solve a mystery there, faith in humanity. And then also a lot of stuff. Like the one where they show the thing and they say, hey, I found this thing. Can someone tell me what the thing? is I like those ones. That one is good.

Yeah, and I don't usually try to paint with that brought a brush to be like humanity contains both good and evil because I feel like that's like kind of a plain thing to say but Reddit is truly a swath of humanity in that way where it's like some fun stuff happens here also a tremendous amount of fascists gather here.

Do not go on our exploding animals. I don't suggest it. No, no, that doesn't exist, but I will say they actually did. I'm going to burst it to years. Don't. I'm still thinking about Britney Spears.

You can't. You know how fragile I am right now. They actually, Molly, did a pretty public sweepout of a lot of, like, kind of hate-filled subreddits, including the Donald. Yeah, that's good. I think that they are trying to be like, oh, this has gone down the toilet a little bit. Let's try to do a little bit. Yeah, they did a big sweep of hate groups. That's good. Get rid of them. Clean it up. Apparently, they just got rid of Nick Cannon as well, which I'm just now reading this article right now.

So, that is, I was just looking at that. Nick Cameron has had a rough one, man. Talk about a guy who started off as like the most plain milk toast innocuous pop star and then just managed to just spiral down and down. How do you fall from like such a middling heights? You know, there is not even that far to fall. There's a really good Indiana Jones sequel that actually really represents its well. Indiana Jones in the curse of the Mariah's pussy. And it's all about how.

How dare you? It is filled with diamonds. And yes, that might rip up your penis. However, you should be thankful for the cuts. I feel like she's so talented. She's had such longevity. I'm pretty sure she does suck out the essence of a man's whole, you know, thing. And maybe she puts it into her memoir, which is coming out in September.

Yes, again, Mariah Carey. There's a memoir comes out in September, and I have already pre-ordered it. I bet it reads a lot like that horny 90s movie species with the creepy. I'm just saying, you know what I mean? I just think that maybe there was a clear-cut timeline, essentially as soon as he left that relationship. Like, that was the beginning of the end for this guy. Yeah, that's true.

But I also, again, there just wasn't that much soul to suck. You know, the guy was just always like a, like a, just a straightforward kind of boring guy who was, you know. I've always felt bad for him, but now it's just like he was just speaking out against cancel culture. And then you go ahead and get, say something that you shouldn't be saying. You shouldn't say anti-Semitic comments. That's not something you should be doing, especially, it's just, you just don't. You are America's sweethearts when it comes to like hosting, you know, things like the masked singer and stuff like that. Yeah, he's a Ryan Sechrest.

You already have a fun fluff host job. Yeah. Keep it. More like America's doormat, but, yeah. Yes. Yes, I think. But it is more America's dormant. It would be like if Ryan Sechrest tried to speak about anything whatsoever.

You'd be like, no, no, no, no, no, shh. You know, I just, nobody wants. I want to really hear your political opinions, Nick Cannon. No, you're just the face. Yeah, pretty much the only thing he's allowed to say is, like, I'm a guy, I've got a face, and hands and legs, and I've got a stomach. You know, just say things that are in the room. There's a lamp in the corner of this room.

And the most interesting thing about him is that he dated Moran Carey and had children with her. Like, that's the most interesting thing that he's ever done, like, by a million. And drumline is fine. By far. And the fact that he is still known to this day. I will give him that credit. the fact that he kept going after all that. Yeah, he stuck around.

Yeah, he did. Based on very little. I got to say, I immediately texted Molly and Holden when I got the very upsetting news. I was very weirdly shocked at the fact that Kelly Preston died this week. It's because we've talked about John Tra's. It's because we've talked about her for almost a decade. I know. And I feel like we've been making jokes about her for over a decade.

being married to a man that is forced by his religion and his career to not being able to be the person he actually is. But she's been a great sport about it. She's had a great career, but she died of breast cancer. And so upsetting, too, that if you go back and listen to the John Travolta episode of pop history, this is something that Jondra has gone through in the past because when he was 18 years old, He was dating his 41-year-old co-star. Yes, the woman that played his mother in the TV movie, The Boy in the Plastic Bubble.

He was in love with her and they were in a relationship and she also tragically died of cancer. And his son. And his son, yeah, that's sad as fun. And his son died from, you know, fakes disease or that's what they referred to as epilepsy and autism in Scientology. And then you can't get any medication

or any help from a doctor because it's fake disease because it's some sort of mental issue. But this one's real disease. So she was getting chemo because, of course, in my brain, when I saw that she died, I was just like, what did Scientology do to her? What did they do? They tried to turn her into a watch and it failed.

No, now she's just a lady and she has nowhere to wind up to. It's very sad. devastating. So young. 57 years old. Also, I will say, doesn't look 57. Not that 57's even that old,

but I thought she was much younger than that. But also, Jean Travolta, John Travolta looks like a corpse warmed over. So, like, I actually was pretty amazed at how good she looks. I don't. But Molly, he looks so much better now. Yes, he actually has been looking better lately.

It seems like he's maybe found himself, even though he can't actually be himself. Something, Maybe he's in some sort of non-scientology therapy. I don't know. He seems like he's alive a little bit more than he had been before. But he had been looking like a corpse formed over for a while. Yes.

Well, I feel like he's after all this and quarantine's done. He's going to actually look like his character from Battlefield Earth. You know what I mean? With the dreadlocks. Oh, my God. And the dreadlocks that start in the middle of under his chin? Yeah. Oh, it's his baby.

Battlefield Earth really is one of those that I tried to. watch again and again, and every time I get about two hours deep. And I'm like, I gotta stop. He talks like this. The whole time. Forrest Whitaker, what were you doing? But I will say the makeup and the style of it is, is. I don't think that he deserves any of this heartache.

He immediately came out on Instagram to post. It was so, no matter what, at the end of the day, day she was his partner. And even if he was having sex with dudes on the side, and I wish maybe now he can possibly be himself, but probably not because he still lives in the shackles of Scientology. But I, she stood by him. And they were partners. And no matter what, she is the mother of his children. Yeah. And like, it seemed like she was in that partnership. Like, she seemed like she was, not that John Travolts is not a real person because he is, but She is actually like an incredibly sympathetic person, like in a million.

Like I was also very like touched and saddened by this because like, yeah, we've talked about her like, you know, every other week for a decade. But also, right, like, John DeVoltz is such a weird robot who's like such an operation of Scientology. And she just seems like kind of like a, I don't want to use the word victim, but it seems like she's just kind of like swept up and all this. And like none of this is her fault. She's just like trying to be married to John Fultz or for some reason. And I bet that he was very good to her. It does seem like that they did have a love together. Maybe it wasn't a sexual love, but they did have a love for each other.

And you can have that. And especially, again, I mean, we're jumping back to last week when we were talking about Will Smith and Jada Pickett Smith goes throwing out out there. We definitely, the blind items definitely call that. Can the blind items get a shout out for a millisecond? For a millisecond. For a millisecond. For a half that second, yes.

Shout out to hold him. You get your quick shout out. We can see them. But I think that, but Hollywood relationships are so steeped in, in a different kind of, they're, they're under a different spotlight than any of us will ever understand. We will never, like, celebs, they ain't just like us in many ways, and that is one of them. And I hope, but at least what it seemed like is that they loved each other. Yeah.

Yeah, it did seem like that. I'm not crying. Jadjavolta seems, I've always felt nothing but like compassion for him, even though he's a total weirdo. And I guess maybe some of the massage airplane stuff might be a little bit predatory. But it doesn't, I guess I need to look back at his portfolio of offenses. But it seems like- We don't feel bad for him. It seems like he and her are both like such, like, so much of this is because of Scientology and not because of him just being.

an extreme weirdo, which he also is, you know? Right. I know, and it's just, he's stuck. Sure word was spoken. He's trapped in it. I feel for him, even though he might also be a bad man. I can't remember about all the massage stories. Some of them might remember, might involve.

I love what you're grappling with right now, which is your own memory as being an older person, having done this show for years and years and years, and he's trying to remember how mad it got. A lot of the blind items are about young men and massages on airplanes, and they might be bad, but I can't remember how young the men are. That's the real question. If the men were all of age, then who cares?

This is going to be a tenfold issue ten years from now. It's going to be like, wait, wait, you're going to bring someone up, like someone random, like, you know, Joey Falcone. I'm just making up a name. And he'd be like, wait, wait, what did he do again? Did he do the thing to the little people? No, no, no, no, no. It was not the little people. It was the thing with the steward waitress.

Oh, the mittens. He had that mitten fetish. And then he just kept acting like he was a kitten and mittens. And that shouldn't be a fetish or bad fetish, but now it is at some point, because now kittens mean something else above and beyond what you ever thought that they were. He used to show up with a bunch of balloons and a big fake check and knock on the door and act like they won the publisher's glaring outs. And then he just laughed in their face and rip it up in front of it and run away.

That's what that guy did. Is that really bad or is that just a little bit bad? He got canceled. He got canceled. Then he got renewed for a third season of being in. human being and the reboot sucked. He was awful out. Of course you never reboot it for the third time.

Third time is not a charm when you're talking about multiplicity rules. I remember multiplicity from 1994. Yes. But it is when it comes to John Travolta's family members dying. Is that too fucked up to say? I guess it is but I like where your heads are. I understand.

Well, because for what happened with his son that was fucked up. That's desperately fucked up. This is just an upsetting situation. That is also an upsetting situation, but they definitely could have taken agency. I don't think agency is the word. Sometimes I just talk and words come out, and I don't know what any. Magnanimus.

I said Magnanimus the other day. I don't know. I'm throwing this out there. I didn't look it up. I know I didn't use it properly. I still don't know what magnanimous means. And you know what? Galick.

I did that with Umbrance. I have, I just said it. Umbrage? Taking umbridge? Umbrance. Umbrance. It's umbris. It's umbrage?

Either way, I did it with that word. And I was like, I don't think that's what it means. But you say it confidently. You know what I mean? One time I was teaching a sketch comedy writing class, and I said, Analyzation. And the guy was like, it's analysis. Analyzation isn't a word.

And I was like, well, I was trying to talk about, like, making a dumb, you know, I was talking about, like, stupid jokes in a sketch. And then he didn't come back next week. And I think it's because I grammatically was incorrect. But also context clues. If you can figure it out. See, it's the kind of thing that I always get upset about when someone, if you, if I, it's not that I get, I mean, yes, I will. I get a little taken aback sometimes when I get corrected sharply.

It is something that I'm actively trying to work on. But there are also sometimes context clues. If someone says the wrong word and I still understand what they're saying and not going to be like, actually, you meant to say the word? It's like, I don't fucking care. I get what you're saying. Isn't that the reason for communication? No, do not correct someone when you think they're saying.

use the wrong word? What kind of fucking school marm are you? Relax. Let people live. Yeah, I'm not teaching a grammar class. I'm teaching how to fucking light a room on fire in a comedy, you know, basement. I'm not talking about trying to try to teach you. Words correctly.

Language is how people use it. People need to fucking relax. People who are proud about grammar. Like, yes, grammar's interesting. Linguistics is interesting. If you like to study language, cool. But don't rain on people's parades if they're excited and talking and they misuse a word. People need to let.

People live. We get it. You like say words like calcification and fucking, um, you know. Yeah, rust. Run, honorary system and weird shit like that. Oh, rust. People are so fucking dumb, dude.

Fuck people, man. I hate them. But we don't hate Kelly Preston. We miss her. No, I know. No, it really fucking sucks. And another thing that really sucks that I just, needed to talk about a little bit because at first

I was very confused about what is happening with Lady Antebellum excuse me Lady A now, the Lady A who is and was fuck you Lady Antebelum I'm only referring to you as such because

you will never be Lady A who is yes, blues singer Anita White so if you guys are not familiar Lady Antebellum is this you know what I have listened to some of their music before I used to enjoy it. They just decided to drop the name Antebellum because of Black Lives Matter. I understand.

I think that it is a performative action, but we're not going to go down that road right now. And not only did they change their name to Lady A, but there is already a performer named Lady A, Anita White, who has been performing under the name Lady A for generations. And so when Lady Antebellum changed their name to Lady A, Lady A was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, Whoa, hey guys. Like, that's my thing. That's my name. Hello.

Hello, excuse me. I've been performing for longer than you've been alive. And I'm black. Crucially. It's the biggest part of everything. But also, just people to people, you shouldn't be doing this. But also, if you're already trying to do this, perform to bullshit action, you pieces of shit. And now on top of it, since Lady A said, okay, well, then I want 10.

million dollars for my name and I'm going to donate half of the money to charities for Black Lives Matter and the other five million because essentially she needs to be bought out of her career. Yeah. And they thought that was so exorbitant that they are now suing her so that she can't sue them. Fuck you. Fuck you, lady antebellum, you pieces. And the worst part too. And I'm not talking about all of their fans, but I would say there is a bulk.

because as someone that also I very much enjoy country music, I very much enjoy country pop music. And we are all aware, we saw what happened with the Dixie Chicks, excuse me, nay, the chicks. And you just, you understand that a bulk of their fan base are people that won't give a fuck about this and will cheer them on regardless. And that's very upsetting. And I'm very happy that this is being dragged through the media mud right now

because people need to be aware of what it's happening. like, yeah, but $10 million is a lot of money. Like you don't fucking have it? You do. Figure it out. Oh, and do you want to know who Lady Antebellum's manager is? I cannot believe it. Who?

Scooter fucking Braun, bro. Scooter fucking Braun. You know what else he did, by the way? So we just did the gym episode for Wizard and the Bruiser. He took her, this again, stole the material from the original creator who was a woman, put out a, the worst, movie ever called Jim and the Holograms, ruined the franchise for in terms of having a reboot.

It was supposed to be this big movie franchise as they were going to connect it to like Transformers, G.I. Joe and shit. Butchered the thing, made it terrible, based it off of Justin Bieber's career. And it was atrocious. And that's the second instance now I've heard of him stealing a female's fucking work

and co-opting it and holding it hostage. And then this from Lady Antebellum, Jackie, I literally woke up this morning. I was so glad to see this in the email because I had read the email until after I woke up today. I woke up this morning thinking about this. I woke up this morning thinking about Lady Antebellum because I was just like, the fuck is happening. The whole point of you changing the name was to support people of color. That's right. Specifically black people.

Yes. And you're fucking this person over like this. Yes. And of course, I know it is not in your mind. of Lady Antevelopment. It is not them. It is their team. It is their management.

It's Scooter Braun. It's their lawyers that think that this is. And even in this article that I'd say, you guys, this lawyer that was commenting upon it said, my guess is that the band in their team did some searching at the time, found the existing lady A and decided she wasn't big enough to pose a threat. Now, I just even want to say that I just started a Twitch stream with Holden's wife Lexi and Marcus's wife, Carolina, both and Carolina who was also a part of the LPN Network. work. And we wanted to call our stream the stream queens. We looked up the stream queens, saw that it was

already an existing, no matter how many followers they had, no matter who they are, it was already an existing show. So we didn't choose that name. It is very simple. All of the information is out there now. If that is already a name, you don't choose that name. Yeah. Even if it's a bunch of people dressing up like British Parliament Queens and pissing all over each other you can't use stream queens Yeah and that's their stream I don't care they came to it first

Piss away babies Piss away But it's perfect Jackie Like you said you were like You know this is performative A performative gesture And you said not that we have to go down that route But it's exactly like Holden said

To be like okay we're gonna do this thing Because this name sounds not so good right now So in the act of saying, oh, this name does not sound good. We're going to change our name. And in doing so, we're actually going to absolutely fuck over a black artist just because we want our optics to be better. Like that is the definition of performative politics.

Like you are doing something to try to say, I want to look less racist while doing something that is actively racist because you're fucking. And in part of that saying, oh, she's not big enough to matter. Like how much more racist action can you get while trying to say that you're doing something anti-racist? Yes. I just want to say, Jackie and I both broke our necks from shaking it back and forth in a yes position because this is, I couldn't agree with you anymore. Ridiculous.

I'm speechless. There's such a perfect metaphor for what the fuck has happened. happening right now. It is perfect. Exactly. I just can't believe that they're suing. It's just people it's just white people be like, oh, I'm not bad, I'm not, I'm so not bad, I'm gonna fuck someone over

who's a black woman. Just to make myself, but not bad. I swear I'm not bad. Am I fucking stepping on someone else? I don't give a shit, you know? Yeah, just grinding them, hoagies and grinding them right into the ground. I also, I do, I will, in

the article it does say that the band is not suing Anita White to prevent her from using the Lady A moniker, nor are they seeking a monetary amount, but are attempting to ensure that they themselves won't be sued for using the handle going forward as the two artists adjust to, quote unquote, sharing the name. So I don't see. I'm not very smart. I don't understand what that means. Like, what do you mean that you're, so you're preemptively suing her for what then? Just to say, well, we sued you and now you can't. I know I'm not smart. I don't know what it means. Like, honestly,

I don't know what that means. Bands have changed their names before, right? What's an example of a band that has successfully changed their name? Like, not to something like... The chicks. The chicks. The chicks. The chicks definitely did it. I know it's been done before. I'll live and die by the Dixie Chicks, honestly.

They did right in the early 2000s, and I'll live and die for them. I don't think they necessarily needed to change the name, but I still love them and I'm so excited for their new album. But this, I will say the part, I think, I don't think you mention this, that Lady Antebellum copyrighted Lady A, or got the trademark for Lady A, like, years ago. Yes. And essentially did it under this Lady A's nose.

And the whole thing is like, why would she ever think that someone just like went under her and copy, or behind her back and like copyrighted her trademark? She doesn't know anyone else's Lady A, but Lady Antebellum just kind of covering all of their bases. sort of, you know, copy wrote like a bunch of different trademarks. Lady A was one of them. And I think that's why they kind of have wield this power because before they even changed their name,

they had gotten the trademark for Lady A. Which is probably like saying, like, My Chemical Romance, maybe they also trademarked MCR. They also trademark, you know, My Chemical R. I feel the need to interject real quick because, yes, I did look up a list of bands that have changed their names successfully. Good.

Who's on the list? Oh, we don't. That list. Early list. I know. Well, I have another list, but this one, I need you guys to know. That Creed's original name. Yes, I am saying,

their original name was Naked Toddler. Ooh. Good to change. Is it thankfully the fans hate it? their first name as much as you do reading it later, it was based off of a newspaper story. But as the tip of the hat to their

bassist Brian Marshall's previous band Maddox Creed, they took their final moniker that cemented their spot in 90s history. Fuck this list. I hate the way that's right. But naked toddler? No. No, thank you.

Truly abhorrent. I will. Another one that's fun. Coldplay Coldplay's original name was pectoral's, yes, with a Z. This is so funny because I totally use, I know this is embarrassing, but I use Creed and Coldplay interchangeably in my head. Like, it's hard for me to distinguish. I know the difference, but it takes me like an extra five seconds to think about the difference.

I get it. Creed's, or Coldplay is the British Creed. Can you tick me? I, uh, m. M. Oh, yellow. You guys know that I loved Creed. Okay, all right, I did.

I liked the first album by Creed. And they saw them multiple times in concert. And yes, God, snap is a nightmare, okay? Creed is Christian Rock? Yeah. Yeah. But what would naked toddler have been? Is the real question.

I kind of like boys to men was originally called unique attraction. Which turns me on and it makes me corny, baby. What else you got? Do you have any more? The Bear Naked Lady's original name was Free Beer, and you can guess why. Wait, this is a total sidebar, but indulge me for a second, because the Bear Naked Ladies makes me think of Smash Mouth because of the same era. And did you guys see there was the news story about the Mummy,

where they recreated the Mummy's vocal corps? and his mouth so that they can make the mummy say a single thing. Did you guys see this? I meant to find it and send it down. With a real mummy? So they took a real mummy and because his vocal cords were intact enough, they 3D printed his vocal cords and the shape of his mouth and they were able to make. And using the 3D printed vocal cords and mouth, they were able to make him make a noise. And this is like a

news segment where they're like using the 3D printer they were able to replicate his vocal cords to make him make a single sound and the sound is him going like it's so fucking funny but then it turned into like a it turned into like a meme

so everybody was taking the news clip where it's like they made the mummy make a single sound and then replacing it with like and it's like it's fucking perfect it's so good But the best is one that just replaces it with the very first note of All-Star. So it's like they recreated his vocal cards at his mouth to make him make the money speak a single sound. Some.

It's like somebody wants told me. It's so fucking good. I was just absolutely weeping with laughter. All you have to do is search. We got to get you out of the apartment is what we need. Mummy talking. Don't suggest that this is not objectively funny and that has to do with Mike warranty. It is.

I honestly, all of the smash mouth dumb fuck memes I'm obsessed with. I think that they are all funny and every time the song gets stuck in my goddamn head. And I will not deny that. And everyone else, too, I know we're all in the same boat when it comes to this. The song is always just a fleeting moment from being stuck back into our hands. That's the thing.

There's something so satisfying about hearing the first note of all. Star because you're just like, well, now I'm going to be singing Smash Mouth for the next two weeks, and that's fine. I'm more of a might as well be walking on the sun guy, but whatever. Really? Deems the run. I guess. It's because you were in high school by the time that happened. That was in eighth grade when All Star came out.

I was the perfect age. Jackie was probably in seventh grade and probably even more perfect age. By that point, I'd already seen it. I seen it all. I saw two adults fucking in person. I saw, you know, a guy get his fucking guts ripped out. You got to get out of your parents. They don't want you in there.

I'm a little sneak-sneek. Especially when you walk in and you hear the sex maggots playing and yes, the sex maggots were the first name of the band the Gugu dolls. And in my brain your parents, Holden, have sex while listening to the Gougu dolls.

It's just like the end of City of Angels. And I'd come in and I'd sing I'm a little sneak, sneak, short, and stout. Here is my handle and I pointed to my penis, they go, here, listen to me, shout. I love watching. and my parents have sex. Is what I would shout after that.

And then they'd be like, leave, I guess. You must leave. So tired from dealing with me as a child. You have to go. I guess go. I can't even begin to use more energy that I'm already using right now. They're like barely fucking.

Holden, did you know, got better in the band's list is what I'm, is, that's the big takeaway. A lot of them did. Insane clown posy Holden used to be originally called the JJ Boys with a Z. Another one with the Z. There's a lot of fun

spellings of things in these name redos like Pearl Jam whose original name was Mooky Blaylock who was an NBA player. Are you intrigued? All right, get off the list.

We're done with the list. It's ever. It was over so long ago. Yeah, but Sugar Ray's original name was the Shrinky Dinks. Sugar Ray also reminds me of mash mouth. Yes. Oh yeah. Don't tell him that, but I think

what's his name? They have the same hair. Looper, dunderfuck. There's a halo on the bed, okay? That was a good list, Jackie. Don't let Holden Rain on your list. No, I have another list. We'll still talk about the other list. But first, I do need to just, again, remind everyone of another sad fact that, yes, I downloaded Quibi for the Princess Bride thing. And yes, I immediately got rid of Quibi at the end of my free trial. But not before I was able to watch Carl Reiner's last performance. So Carl Reiner, if you listen to our Princess Bride episode in pop history, Carl Reiner's, Rob Reiner's, father, Rob Reiner is the director. Carl Reiner's also a very influential director. And Carl Reiner

originally was going to make Princess Bride, but then his son ended up making it. So in this weird remake that they did on Quibi. Carl Reiner did the last scene of the Princess Bride when the grandfather is sitting here like, oh, you don't want to hear about that. Oh, they're kissing again. You don't want to hear about that.

And then it cuts to Rob Reiner in the bed pretending to be the kid. Did you guys watch the clip? I was, I immediately burst in its ears. It's the last thing that he did, and he did it with his son, and you don't have to download Quibi for it. You can just look up the clip online

if you want to look at it. Because I refuse to pay for Quibi and I'm going to keep saying this. I will never pay for Quibi and no one can ever possibly make me I won't get another streaming service. But the clip was so adorable.

So did you, I'm trying to look up the article, but Quibi is failing horribly. Good. I think they retained 6% of their total subscription amount after the free trial ended. Like, really? Massive failure.

In fact, the top article, when pull it up is an article from The Guardian. The Fall of Quibi, how did a story 1.75 billion Netflix rival crash so fast. I don't even mean, I know nothing about technology, but what I will say is that who were they making this for? Little blips of shows, I guess if you were, I guess if you were on the move, but also you got to remember Quibi came out right as the world closed.

And so it's not even like, oh, well, I'm on a plane or I'm just going to stream this. I even if then I download all of my podcast I'm to listen to you. I download all of the things I'm going to watch. I put it on my Netflix app. Why do I need another thing that also is separate content that all the content is like 10 minutes long? I don't need morsels. It's a use case thing and I feel like the only way that concept works is if it's a

if it comes naturally out of a, like if it's like a TikTok thing, you know what I mean? Which also might be panned from America soon. But it's like a free-to-use user-created idea, these short video things. And it's all for a younger audience, kids who they have their phone, they might not necessarily have access to a television where they can watch bad stuff. And you know what those 12-year-olds want to watch Chrissy Teigen's Judge show? If there is one thing I know, they are so interested in. Who's it for?

Yeah, you're so right. It's like trying to go for an older demographic, and I don't think they understand what, who would ever be, and especially in a world where we're way oversaturated with subscription services that we can download onto our tablet, that we can, I don't want to watch. I don't like watching shit on my phone. I don't really like watching shit on my phone. No, porn only. Only porn on the phone. Anything else I watch on the computer. Yep.

Are we the same in that way? Yes. Oh my God. That's like our thing. That's been holding's thing separately and never, ever in the same room that we watch porn on our phone. Absolutely not. I'm sure the porn is very different. Yes.

Oh, I bet. We should compare. We should start comparing and contrast instead of each other videos. Maybe Jack andese will have a compare and contrast session. Let's make a Venn diagram. Oh, my God. I want to join for that one. A Venn diagram of everything that Jackie likes in porn and everything that Holden likes in porn.

and see what's in the middle. Ooh. I'm more of a... I go by artists. I go by artists that I like. I just find a lady I like and I go down some fun... See, I can't do any of that.

I don't know any of their names, not that I don't... Well, I mean, I know some of the artist's names that I, you know, frequent often. And then I'm like, oh, I've been seeing... Been seeing these guys around lately. What else are they getting into? Huh?

Right. What about you, Molly? Do you want to join in our Venniagram? I want to watch you guys to see. discuss the Venn diagram. All right. Yeah, we'll have a very uncomfortable conversation. Molly's just a circle, like, way off to the side.

It's like the circle that exists completely on, like, on the other side of the piece of paper. And I have a huge circle. And Holden's tiny circle. Honestly, if it's a Venn diagram of YouTube, mine probably, you know, who knows? Maybe it's a little circle that intersects both of yours at the top. My pops in there a little bit. I think it would be kind of fun. Yeah.

Who knows what will happen in the future and what kind of secrets. We'll divot. All right, but we're not sharing any single time. I don't want to disturb anybody that we're going to go down some next 10 minutes to be just talking about what our, like, funnest porn vids are. All right, we won't fine. Carl Reiter passed away. He's an old man, beloved by the world.

And then also, Kelly Pret, this is a rough week. I mean, you know, most of the weeks have been rough, but like, that sucks. Old and young. And also, oh, that documentary, I hope it's still. on HBO, but there is this documentary that's called, if you're not in the O-bit, eat breakfast. I watched it a while ago. Carl Reiner made this doc a couple of years ago

with other known generians, what's 90-year-olds? People that are older over the age of 90? Nantes. Nantes? Oh, he and his little nonties. He's a little nutty-nunty's got together. And they were... Oh, right.

Going back to the boring place. about porn now. It's not my fault. You did this. I am always horny, okay? I'm fighting so hard against the impulse to just start going down the list, but I can't do it. Let's just keep with pop culture. That is Jaconese talk, okay? That is Jaconese speak, okay? We'll talk and we'll definitely get in there. We'll definitely talk about it. But first I think that we have to discuss a conspiracy theory. Oh, yeah, I'm so sorry. I'm sleeping on this right now. You are. You are. We were in the show. Okay, all right.

Are you ladies ready for? Is Nick and Minaj actually Jay-Z? Are they the same person? This one I'm very confused about. I'm ready for this one. Oh, I'm ready. I want to hear why.

I definitely want to hear why the internet thinks this. Okay, I will just go ahead and say it's literally based on the fact that if you slow down Nicky and Minaj's music, she sounds exactly like Jay-Zzi. Oh, I have heard this one. Oh, this is fun. And it's true.

Yeah. If you slow her shit down, she sounds 100% like Jay-Z. Like, it is uncanny. But either way, we'll start with this synopsis. Jay-Z rapper, record producer, entrepreneur, business man with clear Illuminati ties is discussed in a previous celebrity. Nicky Minaj. Trinidadian born rapper, singer, songwriter, actress, and model.

Or is she? discovered by rapper Little Wayne. Back in August of 2009, Minaj has gone on to release several big hits. However, some say that she is actually just a sped-up version of Jay-Z himself. That's right. A blogger named Illuminati Watcher

posted a video of the song. Oh, well, if Illuminati Watcher says it, it has been true. He should know. He's the one watching him. Posted a video of the song's super bass with the music slowed down, and she does sound,

exactly like Jay-Z. From the post, he wrote, or they wrote, sorry, Illamani Watcher could be any gender. Menage has talked about her abusive past and her resorting to alter egos, signs of possible M.K. Ultra and the honeycoming of memories to prevent trauma. She incorporates alter egos,

which is another common theme for rappers, supposedly for disassociation, in parentheses, more MK. Ultra stuff. Minaj is frequently featured on that Super Bowl halftime show with Madonna was recently featured, which was eerily a similar format to the MTV show Madonna put on with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Minaj was brought on the scene by Lil Wayne

and immediately blew up. Maybe she inked the deal with the same devil that they all do. Whoa. I don't know. Maybe it's nothing and just in good entertainment fun. It's hard to say. But all of it is a bit odd. Jay-Z obviously has his

Illuminati ties. I'm not sure what connections could be made elsewhere, but here's the video so you can take a listen for yourself. So then I would just suggest anyone go home and listen to that video. But I'm going to say this actually put me through a weird worm time for Nikki Minaj. Did you know she has like a ton

of alter egos that she's been creating since she... I think she has like definite multiple personality disorder. Really? Why do you say that? She's incredibly outspoken about it. Nikki Minaj has talked about her many alter egos. that live inside of her, such as Roman, who was, quote, born in rage. The first one she created was cookie in order to escape her childhood home life troubles.

Then there's also Chun Lee, Barbie Bala, female Weezy, which is the female version of Lil Wayne, Martha Zalansky, Norman, Point Dexter, who is a crackhead from, oh, and a crackhead from Harlem known as Tyrone. Then there's some unofficial ones that people have speculated over, which is a few of those are the Bride of Blackenstein, Blackhanna Montana. Wow. And Super Snatch. Wow. That's nuts. But like is this, I mean, like, joking aside, do you actually think she might have disassociative identity disorder?

This part, I think, she created cookie in order to cope with her trauma that we're. was going on in her childhood home. That was her first personality. Okay. And since then there's, so it's like, worked really well for a rapper to do that. Yeah.

But I think it comes from a very dark place. Whoa. That is so interesting because like, I don't know enough about Nikki Minaj, of course, but like, I, it's so just,

it's so interesting to think about like the, like the role of, you know, people who are like really, really, really fucking talented, who are also dealing with like massive amounts. of trauma, you know?

And like, it feels like, you know, it certainly makes sense to think that somebody who is that talented might also have this, you know, whole other kind of like mechanism for dealing with all of that, like, brilliance and trauma combined. Yeah. Dude, not about a celebrity, but sidebar, y'all need to watch. If you were interested in Disassociative Identity Disorder, there is this show called Many Sides of Jane. You can watch it on Hulu.

that is a... I'm very intrigued. I like reading about it. I think it's a very interesting... Man, the brain, dude, is a fucked out. Like, the ways that your brain are tried desperately to try and protect you from trauma

when it can is very interesting. And so there's a show many sides of Jane. Again, it's an A&E show that's on Hulu that follows this woman and it's a reality show

of watching this woman and you can see the way it's her in her therapy sessions and trying to deal with it for the first time she is seeing all of her many sides

and all of her personalities for the first time which is why she said yes doing the show and even just in the way that she holds herself you know when she's gone into a different personality when another one surfaces so now I'm gonna

go into a fucking word time about this. Me too. I can't wait to go into a warm time about this. Yeah. But either way, listeners at home, if you'd like further proof on the Minaj JZ conspiracy, there is an entire SoundCloud account dedicated to revealing the truth through slowed down tracks. Check it out at Nicholas underscore Min JZ created by Josh Lamb in Vancouver. That's Nicholas underscore MinjZ. And it will blow your mind. Sounds just like them. Ladies. Do you believe this is true? Also, if you play back the Beatles and then George is dead, you guys remember?

I'm going to go ahead and say I think Nikki Minaj is definitely Jay-Z. And actually, it's not the other way around. Like, she's him, you know what I mean? She was him from the beginning. Does that mean we get to watch the tape of Nikki Minaj and Beyonce having sex with each other? Because I don't mean to immediately just make them into a sex symbol, but also I would watch. That tape. I would watch it.

I would watch it. I would watch it on my phone because we all know. Anaconda over that one. I'll get an app. You give me an app to download for that and I will, ooh, oh, I will download it. I have to say on this one, I do not want to believe. I want to believe that Nikki Minaj is her own unique special artist that has nothing to do with Jay-Z, other than their admirable friendship and.

Mentorship. Yes, very much so. There you go. Well, I guess it's all fucking bullshit then. Back to you, Jackie. Holden is just sitting there with his sweat rag, dripping on top of his head. I'm so sweaty. I'm so wet right now. It is unbelievable what's happening right now to me.

Why would you ever wear a light gray shirt? The headphones, too. It's just so... He keeps wiping the inside of his ears. The space between. Wait a set phone on his ear. It's hard to watch, but I guess you guys want another list? No!

Who's on the list? Jackie! Gotta have another list. Just do the same list over again, and we'll act like we've never heard of... The bands that changed their names. No. I actually found this list because I went down a bit of a... Talk about a worm time because of last week, and we were talking about while you were sleeping.

and they found this list of 12 rom-com plots that are actually the stuff of nightmares. Because, again, while you were sleeping is terrifying. You imagine waking up and being like, oh, you just pretended that you were in a relationship with me, but then you fell in love with my brother. That's very fucking weird. Just because you saw me every day at the train station.

But in reality, I guess a lot of rom-coms are very scary. Now, this is one. So I was talking about this the other day. I used to have up through college, I had a tiny shitty TV that had a VHS player inside of the television. And I had three movies. I had, well, no, four movies. I had a league of their own. I had Steele Macnolias.

I had 1994 little women. And then I had my best friend's wedding. I've seen my best friend's wedding too many times. But I've also been screaming at it since the beginning because how fucking shitty is that, do you guys remember my best friend's wedding? friend's wedding. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. 100% loved it. Love the soundtrack. The soundtrack is amazing. It's a great movie. But Julia Roberts

shows up because the dude that she's had an on and off thing with for forever is getting married to someone else. So she shows up to destroy the wedding. And spoiler alert, she tries to destroy the wedding and she even tells his bride

that she's still in love with him and they still get married. Because you idiot, I think it's why I always like this movie, though, because she doesn't get what she wanted. Because she shouldn't have. That's true. It's a good rom-com for her not getting what she wanted. But it's bad for, I feel like this came out when we were, what, fifth, sixth grade, right, Jackie?

And I feel like- Crawley? It gave me a bad idea about, like, the fact that it's like, we're best friends, but actually I love you is fine. Sometimes you love your best friends, but I was also, I feel like, discouraged. by the premise that like, you can never actually be best friends with somebody from a different gender. You must wanna love and fuck.

Like that, I don't like that. Right. No. And I mean, of course it was like by, I definitely kept sleeping with my friends hoping that that was gonna happen, but turns out no, they're all gay. That's the thing. Right, because exactly, sometimes it goes both ways.

On the one hand, you're like, oh, maybe I will pretend I'm best friends someone who I actually love. And then on the other hand, you're like, do I want to fuck my best friends? I don't, but maybe I should. It's like confusing for both reasons. Yes. It's like, it's, I was upset both because I was like, I guess I'll just pretend I'm best

friends with people who I love. And because I didn't want to bang the people who were actually my best friends. Two different things. No, and I always get mad about this. You all know I've yelled about this many times. I have many friends that I have not had sex with. And even though I like to fuck anybody and everybody, I have many friends I haven't had sex with.

I also have some friends that I did have sex with. And we're still friends. I feel like just the idea that you cannot be friends with the sex that you are sexually attracted to, then like that just means, oh, I just can't have any friends. Is that what you're trying to say? I hate, and especially because I always had an easier time. making friends with people that were not technically in the gender that I was assigned.

Like I was always like, well, this, I don't actually want to bang any of them. But then there are other people that I do want to bang. Should I, like, it was so confusing. And I was, again, I think I was in fifth grade when my best friend's wedding came out. And I loved the soundtrack. And I was totally heart sick. Like, I was old enough to be romantic. and so, like, enthralled by the entire premise,

but also so confused by what it meant for friendships. It really, really, that movie specifically really fucked with me. Oh, but her hair looked so good. Another movie that also really fucked with me. And I'm glad that this movie's on the list because I was just screaming about it the other day because of the what men want was trending on Twitter. And I think that's just as upsetting as what women want,

which yes I'm referring to That movie was trash To horror Like that is And at the time I wasn't as scared of it But even just a couple years afterwards I was like whoa whoa whoa

You're saying that Mel Gibson Shitty anti-Semite Mel Gibson Can read my thoughts All of a sudden and he's a shitty dude So now he's just gonna use that Against me Trash It's literally a movie about sociopathie

Yes It is And a movie right It's about a sociopath and it's the premises that like women are fucking one-celled organisms. Like it's both about a terrifying man and like, what if women were the stupidest fucking people on Earth? Yeah.

Finally, all of my, all of my suspicions are finally. Finally coming true. Yes. What if the worst man imagined what women thought? Then they made a movie about it. And they cast the worst man. Oh, and not casting the worst man, and yet still an upsetting plot light of the movie,

never been kissed. We would be remiss if we did not bring this up. Yes, we all wanted them to kiss. We all wanted them to be together. But in the movie, never been kissed, she is still a student according to him. Yes, she's of age. But according to him,

can you imagine going on a? fucking ferris wheel with your teacher that you have a crush on jammed up against them because I was always so fat for the ferris wheel so every time when I'm in the ferris wheel I'm in that ferris wheel I'm taking up a good amount of the carriage that takes us around the ferris wheel and the carriage is like like sad of it's going like oh oh oh no yeah yeah because I'm just like shut up I want to get finger blasted and I always wanted to get finger blasted on the ferris wheel and I've never gotten finger blasted on the Ferris wheel. I know.

I saw what was that movie, Fear? I always confuse it, fear and crush. I will always and forever confuse them, and I refuse to look it up. I think that it's... Crush was a carousel. Crush had a carousel. Crush had the carousel, and then Fear had the Ferris wheel? I don't remember fear, but I remember Crush.

One of them I just remember had the head of the Golden Retriever on the front step. And I was terrified. All right, I just googled Roller Coaster Finger Blast and let's not forget what Reiths Widdler Spoon did with Mark Wahlberg

in fear. Fear, that one's fear. I guess I need to watch it. Oh, crash, man, I got to watch that one. This is another one that I also screamed about and I wanted to like Silver Linings Playbook. I actually, I did want to like it as someone that I am a mental illness

advocate. I want there to be more, I'd like there to be more presence of mental illness in entertainment. However, this movie really did play it off like, oh, they're just quirky. They're quirky. They've got their brain's got problems.

I bet they'll love each other, though. That made me mad. I remember yelling in the movie theater when I saw that movie because I was like, oh, oh, I forgot. It just makes me a manic pixie dream. girl, right? The fact that I'll just cry for days, isn't that just so silly? Whatever, Jackie, it's cute and it's funny. Maybe it's cute, maybe it's funny. I do think that this one is a little, a little sensitive, and I don't know if I agree with the fact that love actually glorifies stalking. Which character, because there's a lot of unhealthy relationships.

Kira Knightley and Andrew Lincoln. Oh, yes. No. Yeah, what do you mean you don't agree with that? That guy's a fucking creepozoid. I think it's because in my brain, I always wanted that. And now I understand that it is. Well, yeah, that's because romantic comedies primed you for it. I know. It's stalking.

Oh, the whole, I would be, more so the fact that I would be really angry that if I paid someone to photog or to videograph my wedding, and they didn't videographed my wedding. They just videographed me because they were secretly in love with me. See, I'm more angry about that than I am about the stalking. Yeah, you're ruining the wedding videography? Yeah.

Both of them are upsetting things, but that dude is an absolute, he wants to fucking wear her skin, and it's so creepy. It's not at all romantic. And the fact that she gives him a kiss makes me so, so, man. Molly, to me, you're perfect. Molly, to me, you're perfect. Also, I will say that I think that you should run if anyone ever says to me you're perfect, which means that you're fulfilling some sort of fantasy for them because no person is perfect.

They might be perfect for you or they might be like a good match for you, but no one is perfect. And anyone that says that is lying to you or they have brain issues. See, I feel about you're perfect the way Holden feels about you saying that my wife is my best friend. Or also on her birthday, can we please stop posting on Facebook? Thank you for being born. I really don't want to see it anymore. Enough people have said it. You didn't come up with a brilliant new way to say you love someone.

Everyone's thought that thought before. Thank you for being born. It's done. It's over. Are you saying that you're not happy that my mom had my father's penis folded up inside of her? And nine months later, she had to be ripped open after four. 48 hours of being in pregnancy, old town.

Are you trying to say that you're not proud of that, Holden? Yeah, I don't think it's, I just, I thought, I thought of that romantic gesture as a phrase when I was in high school. So maybe just consider that it's done and try to say something actually genuine about the person that you feel

because that will actually be unique. I like that you got feet. I think what you're saying, Holden, is that you're jealous that everyone stole, your idea. Yes. Thank you for being born is the same, by the way, as thank you for existing. Same gesture. Knock it off. Hater Holden over here. Holden Hater's ho is his Twitch stream. But that's it. That's done for, I'm done with creepy town right now. And I'm done with being able to see. Is that happening to you guys either? Anything going on? You guys

be able to not see? Wait a tick. Oh my God. I think the next thing I'm going to say is in a British accent. I think I'm getting. Uh-oh! English blog! Bye, Tom! I wake a on, I am. Seam. Yeah. An accent every week from now on.

All right. You got it. I want new accents. But only from white countries. It's going to get problematic in the third month. Only white countries. Only white countries. Only white countries.

You think that we could do this all the way? You think we could do this 12 times? I don't think so. I can do it 12 times, but it's going to get problematic. I'm going to run out of white. We'll do Canada, Australia, Britain. Canada, Switzerland, Britain. Okay, all right, I'm into that.

I'm fine with that. I'll do Polish, though. I'm sure I can work on my Polish access. We can do Polish. We can do Polish. We could do German. I think we can maybe make it to month three. We'll see.

All right, let's try it. Either way. We can't seize them. Ooh, Molly. The A-list mostly movie action. talked about providing drugs to a family member but forgot to list the harder drugs he also provided. Providing drugs not just to a family member

to his 13-year-old daughter. And I'm going to go ahead and say this was during a court deposition and that's all the clues I'm giving you. I just read about this. Giving weed to his... Was it John... Is it Johnny Depp? Yes, and daughter Lily Rose.

Yeah, it is. The first day in court with the libel case against Amber Heard, it was revealed that he gave his daughter marijuana at just 13 years old. He stated he wanted her to feel safe with the drug in her early teenage years. Molly, resident mother, how young will you be giving your children marijuana? No, man, you can't be that cool. Amy Poehler showed us in fucking mean girls.

You can't be the cool mom. Can't do it. Yeah, can't be the cool mom. A parent can't do that. I will say I started smoking weed when I was 13, which is the, look at how smart I am, though. don't allow anybody to be smoking weed that young. No, no, no, most of my friends started, I didn't do anything until I was much, much older,

but most of my friends started when they were that young, and I think you should be prepared for kids to be doing stuff that young, but you cannot, if you're the parent, you've got to make safe spaces for your kids, and you've got to, like, I think that the goal is be the parent who they can talk to about whatever, but don't be the parent that's like,

you want to choke up? I think that that's not okay. We had a friend that Her mom didn't care That we had like Coke lines on the table in the living room And that is the kind of thing where it's like How do you allow that?

How do you allow your 16 year old And your 16 year old's friends To be doing hard drugs in front of you? Yeah Insane! I think you gotta have a conversation And just normalizing it Yeah Yeah, it's good that I feel

I'm glad my parents made me feel like those drugs were dangerous and that I was therefore cautionary about it. Yeah. Right. I think my goal is to be like, talk to me about whatever, but also like, yeah, I'm not going to be over here like, I'm fun. Giving it to you.

I know about drugs. Yeah, right. I'll cut up the lines for you. Jesus, get out of here. And what's kind of nice now is like, I mean, maybe not at age 13, obviously. Well, definitely not. But like, as they get older, it's just like, dude, you have Uber. Just don't fuck around.

Like, you don't even have to call me. You don't even have to get into. trouble. You have Uber, dude. God, how can you imagine? I even just thinking about that, that's insane, because I had to do it twice. I had to do the phone call twice that I was like, I am in trouble, I need you to come get me. And like with the no questions asked, which of course is always a lie. Oh, it's always a lie. They say they're not going to no questions asked. Oh, there are many a question. It might not be until the next morning, but baby, baby. Well, oh, there are questions. Well, and also I'm over here like,

this is what I'll do. Meanwhile, I cannot imagine being in the situation. So I have no idea. If you're a parent of teens and you're like listening to this like, just wait and see, boy, will I wait and see? I have no fucking idea. You're going to have double trouble too. Don't think about it. I know, because my kids are a year apart. I'm going to have freaking 14 and 15 year olds being like, okay, you call me and you call me and you call dad. That's going to be terrible. Don't think about it. You have time. You have time. This one might be a little obbs, but I have to bring it up. A, A few months ago, I told you this foreign-born reality star from multiple reality shows was having a huge financial, was having huge financial issues.

They have not got any better. Her empire is crumbling and is tens of millions of dollars in debt. Bankruptcy is coming. Bankruptcy is coming. You said reality star? Yes, who has been brought up as of recent and blind items specifically. Vanderpump. Absolutely.

Villa Blanca is now boarded. up with a handwritten note that indicates the restaurant is closed for good. Wow. And none of her little paddy wagons that she gets to coerce and to have sex with are coming back because they're all bad people. So I guess we'll see what happens with the show, I'm assuming. I'm hoping that the show, no, the show's not gone yet. I know that the show's not gone yet.

But maybe it'll just be her living out of a trash can, just being like, I now live in a trash can, you know what I mean? It would be fun to watch. I, we all live for the fucking, for the other side of it too. We're all weirdly obsessed with watching the downfall of these fake, you know, monarchies we've created. Oligarchy? Sure, that's a word.

Celebrity oligarchies. We're saying new words. It is a celebrity oligarchy. Magnanimous. A swage. A swage. You gotta be souping me. I always know what that.

means. All right, last one, ladies. Vowing to stay by her side until the life event is apparently taxing for the foreign-born A-list mostly movie actor, he passed out on the beach from booze, but friends were unable to carry him back

up the house. So in the sand, he remained. Jesus Christ. Wait, someone just passed out in the sand? And they left him there? Who's very openly pregnant these days? that's the life event is a birth of a child Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner

No they're doing great the little lovebirds Who knows I'd love to hear the downfall What is no who is All right she's pregnant But is it the dude that was left in the sand Uh yes Okay I always want to say are you about to tell me that A pregnant woman was left in the sand

Because I'm about to get like very upset about this I was gonna say Who left someone in the same I must have been worded very poorly then No, no, no, the pregnant person was left in the sand. Big album coming out. Oh, Katie Perry. Yes, and?

And Orlando Blug? Katie recently did a bunch of Radio Collins on Friday to promote her upcoming album, Smile, saying she is, quote, waddling like a duck. And, yeah, that is, uh, I don't think I like Orlando Bloom anymore, all right? I'm going to go ahead and fucking say it. You know what, Elizabeth Town can suck my dick. They're in blind items constantly for their marriage being a total shit show. I mean, I don't want, I don't wish that for anybody, especially someone that is that thick with child.

But like, because like that's got to be horrible. Can you imagine like your relationship falling apart while being pregnant at the same time? And I know that lots of people go through that. That's got to be devastating. But he is, so he's, is he doing drug drug or is he doing booze booze? I'd heard some drug drug, but I think it's mainly booze-boos is what's going. Oh, man. As someone with a type, man, I feel for her because she got a type.

He is just like a cleaned up slightly less drunk Russell Brand. And she already got her heartbroken in the same exact way. I feel for her. Oh, that's sad. You know what? Go back to John Mayer. John Mayer's doing great. And I think that John Mayer would still take you.

I know, Molly, I see your scrunch face. but John Mayer at least seems like he's a fairly good dude. Words that I have heard is that he's a fairly humble, good person as opposed to a Russell brand or an Orlando Blug. And yeah, I'm only calling him that from now on. I thought you love Legolas. I love Legolas. You don't love Orlando Blug.

Well, there you have it. I can see again, and I need some AC again. So I think we have to. Say it in the Cento. Oh, well, me, surely's got lollies again. I'm may you can see and me can be able to see again, and that is the end of the show, my friend. Yay, yes, hockey dance.

Oh, no. Thank you guys so much for joining us this week. Yeah, this is our extra hot episode of B. We love you guys so much. Thank you for being us through the yells, through the tears. I mean, I'm a spoiler alert. If you want more tears, our Britney Spears episodes begin next Tuesday. I'm already crying, and I'm going to assume that you are as well.

It is, if you're following her on social media, it is just, it's all very upsetting, very sad, and I will scream about it soon. But not right now. Right now, what I wanted to say is, I love you. And you can find very important rebels, the city of Vend, the story of Lex and Livia. We are 88% done with the book. You sound tired just saying the name of the book.

I can't believe how great you are, Jackie. I really just can't emphasize enough how wonderful you are for reading this. I guess I should. I'm not going to say it right now, but next week I will reveal what my next book is going to be. I'm very excited about it. Let's just say we're going to get corny up in this piece.

And I love you. You can follow me on Instagram, I'm about Jack that worm. Hell yeah. You can check out my Britney Spears post-punk cover band Tiers for Spears. Check us out on SoundCloud. Also check me out on Twitch, twitch. Twitch.

I'm so lucky. I'm a star, but I cry, cry with a lonely, huh. Thank you. We only cover Lucky. That's the only song we do,

but we do it over and over again. For a lucky cover band. Different accents. Also, very, very important, guys, which we should have told you at the top of the show, you can buy a page 7 merch now. Very important.

We've got them on our Instagram. We've got a great page 7. We've got our new logo in the key of mean girls burn book, as well as Hakunumma Fuck It for sale. If you go to last podcastmerch.com, you can find we've got men's shirts, we've got women's shirts, we've got whatever you want,

shirts and they're all amazing and they've got some bright colors. Yes, it comes off as, it seems like they're baby pink, but nothing is baby pink. It's hot pink, bitch. Ooh. Damn. Did you already say Patreon? Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast to listen to that extra stuff that Jackie mentioned before. Molly.

My name is Molly Neffle. I am MJK LKat on Instagram. We love you guys. We'll talk to you next week. Bye. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors.

You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.