Page 7 - Episode 90: Keanu Reeves' Dead Eyes

Episode Date: May 10, 2015

Rosie O'Donnell returning to The View, Harry Potter at 34, and Iconic film roles that almost went to someone else (Will Smith as Neo?) Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

German beer makes you burp. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, you guys are drinking the Bitmberger. Soccer beer. Soccer beer. In honor of Germany destroying an entire country's hopes. I don't give a fuck.

The beer is $2. I didn't buy the beer out of support for Germany. Like that? Yeah. Yeah, no, I buy beer for $2. $2. $2, I'll buy that beer. Sure, I don't give a fuck.

What is? Did he piss in it? Give me the beer. Oh, Deutschland. Deutschland, Deutschland. But it's a fucking song, they fucking sing, man.

Deutsche L'Elde Uparallel. Yeah, man. That was the Nazi one. We're not supposed to sing Goitland Uralis. Well, they're still Nazis to me. My name is Jackie Zabrowski.

My name is Molly Neffel. I'm Marcus Parks. We're drinking German beer. The Germans are fucking beaten the shit out of Brazil right now. Again, like I've said, I think on every single podcast since the World Cup has began.

I don't give a fuck. But this beer is $2. So German beer is. Get those balls in that fucking big sloppy hole. The way that you've come to care about the World Cup is, if you're me anyway, is to say, I don't care about this. And then you'll be like a beer in the middle of the day. Sure. Oh, look, a ball game is on. Yeah. And then, you know, a couple of years go by, I mean, last time, 2010 and then this time. And now I'm like, fucking invested. All because of my love of

daytime beer drinking. But actually, now it's really intense. What I love is, that July 4th is right in the middle of all of it. So I feel like I really got out my singing and drinking on July 4. Yeah. Nationalism. Did a lot of that, man. We sang a lot of national song. We sang so many songs.

It was pretty great. It was awesome. While the fireworks are going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we all just sat there and listened to Stars and Stripes Forever and said a salute to John Philippe Sousa. Interesting. See, I was at a roofed out party on July 4th and we were next to a building, another rooftop party and that rooftop party was singing patriotic songs and my rooftop party was all like fuck you guys and then we had like a weird rivalry going wow you guys suck yeah we would have probably

thrown shit at your buildings party well we're lucky that you weren't next to us we countered with let it go and other songs we weren't anti-singing it was just the national so you sang the song from frozen instead actually only one person saying that it didn't really was it you it was my boyfriend I don't think I can shake his hand anymore You have to, he's a lawyer I actually stopped him before you got that far So I cleaned up that mess But it was it was it's

I had never been on a rooftop And witnessed other people singing patriotic songs before Apparently it's quite a phenomenon So you ruined another rooftop's 4th of July Well I don't think that they could hear us With your liberalism I don't think they could hear our insult, our quiet. It was probably more like snarky.

Snarky and catty. Oh, so while they were singing the wonderful patriotic songs of America, were you guys just constantly apologizing? We were proud in our own way. Doesn't seem like that. Does not seem like it. Proud to be a more. America, where at least I know I'm free.

and stand up next to you. Man, it's great. It's about veterans, man. Yeah, man. Veterans. I just could support veterans without liking that song. It's a bad song. It's a terrible song.

It's a really bad song. In fact, I think when we were playing it on the rooftop, I realized how bad of a song it was. You know, that's the thing. Many a song will exploit a totally right emotion, which is support veterans, and do a little swit-roo where they're like, and now you have to support this shitty song.

Yeah. And that I think is an American. Yeah, but then he sing the National Anthem, and you're like, man, that's a good song. It's a war song. Yeah, and you're like watching the fireworks grow off and you're like, yeah, man, the bombs, man. The person and we were still there.

We're still there. I did all the drum parts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you were quite good at it. Thank you very much. Yes, you're welcome. We were a little drunk. We were. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're pretty, pretty fucking fucking Fourth of July. But I love that fucking Fourth of July Because every year you get to say, you know what, America, we met it one more time. Yeah, man. Because one of these days, we are going to be saying, man, I wish we still have the Fourth of July. But for right now.

When the Chinese are taking over. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then it's going to be, well, no, they're going to keep doing it because they make the fireworks that we buy. They're just going to change the name. I hate that they're illegal. here. Fuckers.

Here in New York? Yeah. Yeah. Don't stop anyone in bedstye from shooting them off. Yeah, that's the thing. They're everywhere. They're loud and scary. I know.

It's wonderful. Although I think, no, that's political. Who gives a fuck? No, I'll tell you what I was doing last night is I was sitting on my deck out back and people were shooting off fireworks and I was sitting there smoking a cigarette, listening to I don't hurt anymore by Hank Snow.

And it was beautiful and it was perfect. And I'm out there. There's like fucking booms going. off. I'm sitting there with a cigarette like, I don't hurt anymore. Man, it's a good song. All my tear drops have tried. And I just felt, I felt very American. It was wonderful. Have we talked about, is it Hank Snow that's coming out with the biopic? Oh, that would be Hank Williams. Hank Williams is coming out of the biopac. Very few people know

who Hank Snow is. Yeah, I mean, I do. I at least know the name. Yeah. One of the records that constantly is going on in my house. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you this, there is a woman that we all know that is coming to our favorite daytime talk show, Rosie O'Donnell has signed on to be a co-host of The View. What year is it, 2007? I don't know how I feel about it. Now, I used to be a huge fan of the Rosie O'Donnell show. I loved it.

I did. And then she got all weird for a while. She got weird for a decade. And now she's going to be thrown back on this show. I don't know if I want to listen to what she has to say. You know, she did lead the view for an entire season, but some say that it was a little tempestuous. Apparently, she got into a big fight with Elizabeth Hasselbeck in the middle of that.

Y'all remember that big fight? Yeah, I do. Although, to be fair to Rosie O'Donnell, who wouldn't get into a big fight with Elizabeth fucking Hasselbeck? True. I mean, I'm really going to side with Rosie on that one. Admittedly, Rosie got weird, but I assume Rosie got weird because she's like, you know, a gay woman who doesn't adhere to traditional beauty standards and,

public and everyone's like you, I hate you. Yeah, but I think a lot of gay women don't adhere to traditional beauty standards. True. So I feel like that's not, I feel like at the time that was her niche. And now it's like, okay, but now you're just angry lesbian? Because I know a lot of angry lesbians and I wouldn't want to listen to him on the view. Has there been gay people on the view before? Rosie O'Donnell.

Rosie O'Donnell. Yeah. In my head, I always feel like Whoopie's kind of bisexual. Yeah, I kind of get that feeling too And feel like she gives off a bit of a vibe Of like... I mean, she's groovy Fuck your standard

She's groovy I think that's what I mean You know and it's like Yeah man Love we love Who cares about a gender? I'm down I know I've been there

A lot of people been there I bet Whoopi's been there Oh Whoopi been there I'll bet Whoopi's been there Yeah And also she loves weed So at least she's bringing A little bit of subversion

Into the She talks about love and weed Pretty openly I would dare to say That Rosie O'Donnell is the Elizabeth Hasselbeck of liberal angry lesbians. You know what? I mean, too far on one side or the other is bad for America.

I mean, it's just like, ah, I think this is going to be a lot of fighting. And that's not, I like the jovial banter, but I don't need fighting at 11 o'clock in the morning. Although, I will say, I feel like whoopey actually gets, you know, I feel like. She gets into it, but she's civil. She's very civil about it. And she's very respectful. And it never seems to actually bother her. I think the way it works for Whoopi is she's like,

she'll really tell you how you're wrong. And then she'll be like, anyway, it's time for a commercial now. And you can tell she's not like taking it personally. But also she knows that she's not going to change your opinion while you're sitting in front of her on the view. Yeah. And I appreciate that.

And I feel like Rosie O'Donnell doesn't have that cut off. No, she's a huff and puff. She is a huff and puff and also I bet she would be in Hufflepuff. If she was in Harry Potter. Ooh, you know, J.K. Rowling, yeah. Yeah, she's written a new Harry Potter story, Harriet 35. I see, okay. Is that what everyone was tweeting about today?

Everybody's a hubbub about it. Oh, yeah. And I, you know, I love Harry Potter. But let her lie, baby. I don't know. And I read an excerpt, and it seems that Ginny's not around anymore. Oh. And if Jenny's not around anymore, I don't want to read it.

Jesus. I don't want to read it if Harry and Ginny aren't together anymore. Ooh, maybe she's dead. Don't you dare say it Weeasly dead Weesley dead It's gone through so much Is it?

Oh it all the way of her brother Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god And although reading about it today I was like I gotta read that seventh book again Yeah Because I did declare

That when I read the seventh book When I finished it the night before I graduated from college I said I would never read it again Huh And I was like that is it I loved it But I put it

But I put it down, I said, now my childhood is done. I'm ready to become an adult. Wow, good timing. But I think I need to read it again. Well, the thing about becoming an adult is that you can healthily go back and revisit your childhood after you've successfully been an adult for a little while. But it's so weird to go back and read me and like, I remember when I first read this. And like with the tear stains on, in fact, I didn't have them up here.

I left them in my room at home in pristine condition so that nothing would happen to them. to know one to fuck with them. I don't know what I thought we will do. Like have a party at my house. Someone's like burning my Harry Potter. It was like, don't, not my books. No, when the last Harry Potter book came out,

I was up here working at this super left-wing book store called Unoppressive Non-Imperialistic Bargain Books over in the Westville. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was run by this hippie named Jim, long hair. Yeah, yeah. Good guy, though. Him and his Venezuelan wife, who was like 20 years younger than him

and super hot. I don't know how he did it, but he did it. They had two kids together. They were great. Gotta be grovey. But I was working there on the ninth that the book came out. And so I'm sitting there like reading Harry Potter, working the counter at this bookstore, very small. People were unimpressed to say the least of my book choice.

So much judgment. Yeah, fuck that. People who are judgy about adults reading children's books or whatever need to just go straight to hell. They were just pissed off because I wasn't reading like a fucking Nelson Mandela by a. or something. They wanted me to be reading something impressive. But that's silly because especially Harry Potter is impressive because it got so, I think if you are like at a bookstore like that and you're like books have social value, which they do, obviously. Obviously.

Harry Potter has social value because it got like a whole generation super pumped about reading, super pumped about reading. Absolutely. That's great. It's a wonderful thing. But the sniffles and snuffs that I got from those people that day, ooh, it burned my heart. It really, and I, I just, oh, it drives, oh, churns my butter. It makes me so mad. We were like, oh, you like Harry Potter. It's like, fuck yourself. I'm allowed to like whatever I want.

This is America. Yeah, you're talking about your brother, aren't you? Yeah, man, he hates Harry Potter. And I was like, you need to get, he, but the problem is, is that he read half of the first book. The first two and a half books, like halfway through the third book, are not good. No. But she was an elementary writer. She was the beginning of her writing of creating this.

insane world and yeah they weren't as good but man you hit that fucking fourth book and from there on damn you if you don't think that that's a good story i mean you can watch the first three movies skip the first three books and then just fucking go right on to the four jump into the fourth just like jump right in oh yeah yeah yeah because they're almost like word for because the first three books are so short they're pretty much like fucking fluff word for word the first three great kids movies uh but yeah just go watch those uh and then just and jump off. And then it gets dark.

I've never read them and not out of snobbery but just out of for, maybe it started off as snobbery because they were, I was like maybe sixth or seventh grade when they came out and I just didn't start reading them at the time. It's hard to jump on. Right. I missed the kind of bandwagon. And so now I'm like, you know, now I'm like, I think that they're like an important cultural institution, but I do not know about them.

So maybe I'll do that. It's fun summer reading. I highly recommend. If anyone's not, they don't have a, don't have a nose in a book this summer. Start on the fourth book, fucking jump in. Yeah. Either that or name of the win, one of the two. Well, yeah, but that's a little, you know.

Great. Yeah. All right. We got a short one today, so we're going to jump right into the list. What? Who's not the list? Gotta have that list. Ooh, iconic roles that almost went to someone else.

Oh, my goodness. You know, Will Smith. turned down the role of Neo in The Matrix? You know what? That would have been a better movie with Will Smith? I don't know.

Keanu Reeves has the dead eyes. He does. Perfect for the one. Yeah, you got to have the dead eyes. I think Will Smith would have tried to make it a little too goofy. Yeah, all right, that's fair. It's the ears.

It's definitely the ears. And even when he's being serious like an I am legend, he's still a little goofy. It's just in his nature, which is perfect for like normal action movies. But that's like a whole different ballgame. Yeah.

That's true. But I'm also okay with being like Keanu Reeves is a terrible man and a terrible actor, but great in The Matrix. A terrible man. Well, I don't know about how much. He's supposedly a very good person. You know how much tragedy has been in his life? I don't actually. Yeah, his sister died, his mom died.

I think he had a fiancé that died. So much tragedy. And he gives a lot of work. He does a lot of work for charities. I helped him pick out a pork tenderloin. Yeah, and he was nice. And he was so nice. All right, I take back terrible man.

Terrible actor I stand by. Terrible man I take back. No, he's got his moments. And by his moments means just fucking throw a blank. Even when you need a blank-faced mannequin in a role, he's not good at it. No, he's not good at it. But, you know, he's a good-looking guy.

He's fun to look at. Speed's great. Speed's great. Speed's great. Yeah, yeah. All right. You won't get an argument for me there. First Matrix is great.

Bill and Ted. He was great in that. Great in that. Yeah. I mean. He was a cutie. I can't really. Oh, Dracula.

Oh, he was bad in that. He's bad. There's a lot of bad. He's got a lot of bad. He's got a lot of bad. But he is cute. Yeah, he's a cutie pie. Yeah, he's very much cutie pie. Yeah. Next up, Ralph Machio, you know, the karate kid. Oh, do I? Turn down the role of Marty McFly and back to the future.

What an idiot. Wow. Wow. What a different future we would have had. He could have become like an actual cultural icon rather than, you know, just the karate kid. Which is good. That's fine. That's fine. That's better than a lot. I mean, a lot of respect for a karate kid, but. I wonder what he does now. Is he still an. actor, Ralph Machio?

I will see. I have a friend who was really into Ralph Montchio. I think that he still works, like maybe small projects. I've seen him in something recently. What did I see him in? Although I don't think he probably would have been as good of an actor as Michael J. Fox was. Like, Michael J. Fox was really, he was so dynamic at a young age.

Yeah. I think it's weird to imagine, like, a future where there was no Michael J. Fox, but there was Ralph Montchio, you know? And, you know, back to the future would have completely changed because Who's going to believe that Crispin Glover is Ralph Machio's father? I mean, come on. Yeah, it's true. Crispin Glover and what's her name?

Leah... Lea... Tompkins? Thompson. Thompson. Leah Thompson and Crispin Glover are not going to make a Ralph Machio. No, no, no, no, no. So you'd have to recast both of them as well.

Yeah, you'd have to re-gett. It'd be a whole bigotty, bigotty-boo movie. Yeah. And Leah Thompson's so good in that movie. Oh, she's great. Caroline is sitting. Such a wonderful. horny teenager

It was so weird She had such an innocent face Yeah, but no She still tried to fuck her son Yeah man, got to Man, you'd really think that there'd be some sort of biological kick-in I mean, how would you know How would you know

Even if you thought at that time That like maybe it was naughty or maybe it was bad Doesn't that just make it better Here's another Customer that you have sometimes Tom Selleck couldn't get out of Magnum P.I. He would have been Indiana Jones. Oh, man, he's still kind of sexy.

He is an old as sexy man and he loves my pie. Blue blood. Blue bloods, baby. Blue bloods. Every time you see a pie on blue bloods, that is our pie. That's a blue soap pie. Yeah, he is the one that requests it. Every time they, because at the end of every episode,

they have a big family dinner, anytime there's pie, he wants it from our shop. That is adorable. Yeah. It's really cute. He loves your pie. Oh, my God.

That makes me really like Tom Selling. Little moustache. He would have been a good Indiana Jones. He would have been just fine. I think he would have been good. Yeah, yeah, I think he would have been just fine. He would have been all right. He wouldn't have been as good as Harrison Ford.

I mean, Harrison Ford's really good. And speaking to Harrison Ford, you know who was going to play Han Solo? Who? Christopher Walking. What? Too ugly. He's too ugly to be Han Solo. And too weird.

Yeah. Can you imagine him making out with Carrie Fisher? No, no, no. Man, Harrison Ford is so fucking hot as Han Solo. Yeah, yeah. Man, he was. Good Lord. I didn't watch Star Wars until I was, I think, my senior year of high school.

And you still liked it. I loved it. I sat and I watched all of them. I think as long as you see Star Wars by the time you're, graduate high school, you're all good. But if you don't see Star Wars before the age of 21, then you're probably not going to like it very much. Well, I feel like, well, also

movies have advanced so much that people are like, that's a job of the hut to puppet. Yeah, puppets are fucking awesome. A huge, fucking amazing puppet. You know, in the new Star Wars movies, they're using a shit ton more puppets. Good. They're going back to puppets, and they're doing minimal CGI. They're going on

location for shoots. They're building sets. They're doing it right. They learn their mistake. Yeah, and they just kept George Lucas out of it. Mr. Georgia Beeks. Meza, Garba. Marcus, let me ask you this

because I was in a conversation about this over the weekend. Some people were saying that, you know, people in their, I guess, late 30s, early 40s who were a little bit too old

when Return of the Jedi came out to appreciate the Ewarks, felt about the Ewarks like people now feel about Jar Jar Jar Banks. Absolutely. Do you know the Ewarks were supposed to be wookies? Were they?

Yeah. Like baby wookies? No, like actual Chewbacca fucking wookies. They were supposed to go to Kaishak, the wiki planet. But George Lucas decided that they could make a lot more money using Ewel. It's true. And it's true. Yeah, kids loved them.

I loved Ewox. When I was a kid, Return of the Jedi was my favorite. Yeah. And I grew up in 80, or I was born in 83, same years as Jedi came out. So by the time I got to see it in like 86, 87, Jedi was my favorite. Yeah. And Empire Strikes Back scared the shit out of me. And the original Star Wars was just.

Pretty great. Yeah. See, I think also the reason why I liked Star Wars even before I saw it is that we would go to Disney every year and at MGM. They have Star Tours, which is the Star Wars ride at MGM, which is fucking awesome. That sounds awesome. And at the end, they shoot you right out into the gift shop. So I had a little EWalk, and the EWalk had a little pink cape on.

And he was really fucking cute. Yeah, that's the thing. I didn't like, because my brother loved Star Wars, and I was always like, Space Wars is boring. And then I liked the Ewox. I was like, they're so cute. And I know that that's like, everybody who likes Star Wars is like, you're the problem.

And I know that. Yeah, yeah, they hated it. You know, like, they absolutely hated it. But I don't think, but I know my, you know, I fucking hated episode one so much, even though I saw it three times in the fucking theaters. Really? Because I wanted to make sure it was bad. Yeah.

Because Star Wars was one of my favorite things growing up. I fucking had model kits. I had all the toys. You know, I'd fucking love Star Wars. So I saw it three times to make sure it was bad. And it was. but my nephew was five, four or five when those came out. And so he has fond memories of that

because that was like his favorite movie when he was a kid as well. But we can argue that Jedi is at least decent while no one can argue that episode one is anything more than a piece of shit with a bunch of weird racist stereotypes. Yeah, exactly. I think that even if some people were like, Jedi is not as good as the first two,

then it's still a category, I mean several categories above whatever episode one was. Yeah, episode one was weird. You had like Jar Jar Binks, who was like the stupid Caribbean dude. Then you had Wato, who was the greedy Jew. And then you had the two Trade Federation people who are just talking to Chiarney's Arkansas.

And they have like slenty eyes, but they're aliens. Oh, my Lord. Oh, Missa Dr. Puppetina. we are must have get a rear from here. Yeah, it was 1999, man. Too late to do that without consequence. No, but no one even brought it up. Really?

Everyone just didn't talk about Jar Jar Bix to even notice the other racial stereotypes. Yeah, yeah. No one noticed the greedy Jew bug on Tatooine. But yeah, everyone went all up in arms about Jar JAR Binks, who arguably was the lesser evil out of the three racist stereotypes. I would say they didn't hate. George R. Binks because he was evil and racist.

I think they just hated Jar Jar Binks. Because he sucks. Yeah, he was really annoying. Yeah, he was the worst. Yeah, that was the whole kid's thing. All right, it's time for blind items. Oh, we can't see him. All right, first up, friends from his side say that this A-list rapper

and his A-list reality star wife have not had sex in almost a year. Uh-oh. Year old baby, perhaps. Perhaps. Kim and Kanye Day ain't fucking. They have too much money to fuck. I bet they pay people to fuck in front of them.

And then they separately masturbate sitting next to each other. Because it's too much effort. Right? I would do that. That would be great. I'd rather masturbate than have you touch me. And so you just have these peons and they're probably really into it and really good at it. Yeah, I have to be.

Because you know Kim Kardashian is not good at sex. No. She can't be. I don't know. I enjoy watching her sex tape. Yeah, but a sex tape is a sex tape. I think it's different than normal sex. Yeah, sex tape is just like, all right, yeah, that, you know, I'll get to enjoy seeing a penis going into an awesome butt.

Yeah. That's wonderful. But in actual sex, I mean, I still would get to see a penis going to an awesome butt except it would be mine, which would be pretty fucking great. Yeah, there's no performance, though. Yeah, there is no performance. But still, it's pretty solid. Yeah. Next up, I got a kind blind item.

This one is, yeah, someone being a good person. Good people. Good people. I don't understand. This always in my mind, A-list singer, but more like a B-lister, usually finds himself played on country radio stations, but he doesn't really fit anywhere.

Linked with lots of famous actresses, this singer left a tip of $5,000 last week so his waitress would be able to buy a car to replace the one that broke down and had her walking several miles to work each day and her neighbors picking her up from school. Aww. Tall hair

Dated the old Julia Roberts Oh, I saw him in concert That's La Lovett Lill Lovett Of course it's Lyle Lovett Oh, he's the sweetest And he kind of looks like Doug He does kind of look like Doug

It's really cute We saw him in concert And he was just like the nicest guy Afterwards he came down and talked to people Wow Yeah, it was like at Prospect Park Not a lot of people there Because a lot of people don't give a fuck about Lyle Lovett

In Brooklyn, no Definitely not And we were totally down and he just like came and hung out. Put that man down in Memphis. That thing is sold out. I'm sure. And he is such an amazing performer. Yeah.

Man, 5,000. That's awesome. Yeah. Just like, hey, here's $5,000. Go buy yourself a car. Go get that car for. Man, I bet she fucked him. I hope she did.

How can I ever repay you? I've just got one suggestion. Now, mind you, it's a suggestion. I'm not making it do it. Not a requirement. But you would do it. I'd do it. You do it?

Yeah. So if I was in dire straits and someone gave me something that like really changed my life, I'd have sex with them if they wanted to have me. Yeah. And not saying like that you're going to have sex for the $5,000. No. You give me the $5,000. It's like, hand job.

You want a hand job? Yeah. In the car that you paid for. If someone did want to pay me $5,000 for sex. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I definitely have no problem with that. But I would have no problem.

with 500. Yeah, it's like, I don't think it's worth it, but if you want it, get on board. Jump on my jalopy. Get in here. Now, our gay item today isn't about being gay, but it involves a gay. Time for our gay item. Whoa. Gay who's gay? What's gay and what's up? They already know this man is gay, but this is too juicy to fucking pass up. The very attractive nanny of this A-plus list, mostly movie actor, offspring, is on the payroll of the X. She makes a report every few days to the ex-wife. She makes a report every few days to the ex-wife. I kind of get lost in it.

The ex-husband is paying the nanny to keep tabs on the ex-wife and the child. Is it Tom Cruise? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. He's got a spy. Of course he's got a fucking spy. He's got an old town full of fucking Scientology.

Every time he pays her, he sings to himself, boom, boom, boom, do do, do, do. No, that's jock jams. I was trying to sing Mission Apocles. That's lowrider. That's the different song. She's thinking of pomp off the jams. Pump it up.

No, no, no, no, no, you're thinking of like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Y'all ready for this? That's not what I meant, though. What I meant was. You meant, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. That's the one. Thank you.

There you go. What a goof on my friend. Goof and Goof and Molly over here. Yeah, it's also said that Katie Holmes has a new boyfriend, but he's married. Uh-oh. And she's very good at keeping secrets. Man, it's obviously not. Because she deserves somebody besides Tom Cruise.

Well, I mean, maybe not a married man, but somebody, too. I bet at this point she's probably scared of what Surrey is becoming as well. Well, you know, she just also had an interview in either Us Weekly or People magazine. where she says that she loves Surrey so much. She says, I have so much love in my heart. Yeah, that's what she tells the goddamn magazines. I've seen what they'd say in the goddamn magazines. She's not like, I have no feelings for my child.

My child is an alien from me. I have feelings for my child, but my child has no feelings for anyone. I imagine that's probably the truth. I think the vet is the truth. Poor poor surrey. Don't pour surrey her. I mean, it's not her fault that two aliens gave birth to her. Yeah, but now she's an alien.

She's got to fucking deal with it, and ain't no fucking... an astronaut's wife alien. I'm talking straight up real ass alien. All right, well that's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. We got we have fucking won and done, man. We have to go find out what happened with Germany. All right. We've got to get the fuck out of here. Man, we're not going to see you guys next week. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to be in Texas. Jackie's going to be in Wisconsin. Molly's going to be fucking here.

Yeah. Yeah. But you can't do it by yourself. You can take the Midwest out of a girl. Yeah, bitches. Let's get the fuck out of here. You guys will miss you. We'll see you in two weeks. Bye-bye.