Page 7 - Episode 96: Rivers Bottom

Episode Date: May 10, 2015

Rumors are running wild about a second baby after Jay Z changes the lyrics in a song during a live show, the drama is already revving up in the new View cast, and Robin Thicke had a really, really bad year. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

But now this is perfect. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a fucking divve over here. I'm just like a rethought, Franklin. I'm a diva. My name is Jackie Smerosky. Oh, my name is Molly Nipple. I'm Marcus Parks. Hell yeah, bitches.

It's fucking page seven. And hopefully this episode will get the song Walking on Broken Glass out of my head. Oh, good. I love that song. Walking on Broken Glass. For a week. have tried to get anything else in my head. No!

No! I don't know if it's been in my dreams. Why this? I love this song. I try to sing it at karaoke, but it's too wide a range for me. Travis, we sounding good back there. He can't hear the song He just hears us singing

I'm sorry It is I don't know what to do I don't know what I'm doing myself I can't get it out of my head I don't know man It's a great song It's a good problem to have Jackie Is it a good problem to have

This song got stuck in my head for like a year Really? Yeah and it wasn't even after seeing Or after listening to the song It was just after fucking holding Singing it one day like over and over and over again He just kept going Backin' out

Bokin' out fucking go oh god and so I just had that in my head just playing over and over again so you've got a good year of Annie Linux ahead of you I can't do I don't

I've tried I've tried to get something else anything else Can I make a recommendation please you'll be really annoyed with me but it's what I'm going through right now is that stupid fucking new Taylor Swift song See I haven't heard it yet

What's it called? Shake it off Shake it up Shake it up It's so fucking stupid It sounds like the Donna's right Is that the I'm shaking me on

Take me off. Is this it right here? Oh, I hate it. She's not, like, poppy enough for this. I thought she was more like love songy. She's getting, she's just like a fun poppy, fun girl now. She's like, turning it up. Yeah.

Why is everyone always calling her such a great songwriter? Yeah. I've been hearing that over and over again lately from like a lot of different people. I think it's just because she actually writes the songs. So I think they're trying to be like, well, at least she writes the songs. At least she knows how to write words down on papers. Very much. And there's that new J-Lo's back on the scene, guys.

J-Lo. Yeah, I haven't seen it yet, but I have heard tale of this big booty song. I think it's Iggy Azalea. Yeah, it is, my God. I mean, there's a lot of booty in that. this song. They like, it was like dropped it online. Everyone's like, whoa.

Jesus, 31 million views. Seems like they're trying to cast it. What about, I feel like they're just hijacking Nikki Minaj's Anaconda success. Holy shit, that's a lot of booty chicken. J-Lo's in it. J-Lo is in it. Bitch, you ain't Jenny from the block. Hey, Mom.

You got twins. She's Jenny from the booty. Look at that shit. Oh my God, there is a lot of bucks. It's just Jennifer Lopez and Iggy. She's like rubbing butts against each other. They rub a lot of books. You know, I ain't going to complain about.

She looks fantastic. She does. She does. She has had twins. Yeah, she looks good. But listen, I'll take, if we're going to talk about songs about asses, I will take Anaconda any day of the week. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I am currently obsessed with that song. Yeah, I'm not even sure if I've even heard this song yet. Oh, it's good. It is a re... All the kids love it. It is a reclamation of... Sir Mixelot, if you will.

Oh, it is Sir Mixelot. Yeah. But it's her being, it's her taking Sir Mixelot, which is about him being like, I like Big Butts. And Nikki Minaj is like, I've got a big butt and I'm fucking awesome.

It is. I don't know if that's a reclamation as much as it is like. A proclamation. A proclamation. Sir Mixelot is saying like, I like big butts and she's saying, good. I got one. I got one. Look at. it. Man, it's not

fair. I want a big butt. It's not all it's cracked up to be trusted. Well, you have men's bubble butt. That ain't the same. You know how often I run I run through jeans so often. Look at my debit card. I will show you my debit card. That's just because

you spent it so much money right on it. It is. My debit card is firmly in the shape of my butt. I have to get a new debit card every year because they keep breaking. I think you need a harder wallet. I don't want a hard wallet. I need a soft one. That'll hurt his

butt. Yeah, exactly. I need a soft wallet, so it will conform to the contours of my posterior. Yeah, but I got a purse. Maybe you need a fucking MERS, man. Yeah, you can get a MERS. I got a MERS. Put your wallet in your MERS. I don't want to put my wallet on my Murs. See, that's the problem.

You won't, you know, there's no commitment. My books are in my Mers. There's no compromise. My snacks are in my Mers. What kind of snacks you got? Oh, you know. I got some. It's next. I got, sometimes I got some fun-sized sneakers.

Oh, my God. I'm already eating your cold-ass old fries over here. Well, you know, you can have that last quarter of that onion cheeseburger if you are. Ew. Oh, no, thank you. I'll pass on that. But the fries, still good. Still tastes great.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fun-sized snickers, really. Yeah, sometimes. Well, it's Halloween times. You got to stock up. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm going to stock up like a motherfucker. Sometimes it's sweet tarts, like the chewy sweet tarts.

Ooh, okay. Those are pretty sweet. All right. Bunch of Crunch. Mostly it's whatever. I go to the movies a lot, so it's mostly the other half of the candy I got at movies.

You don't finish it at the movie theater? No. You're a freak. I always finish mine. Sometimes I finish them. Depends on if I put my bunch of crunch and my popcorn. Bunch are so good,

and I have not thought about them in years. Go! Next time you go to the movies, do yourself a favor. Get a box of Buncher Crunch. Oh, I will. We should make Rice Krispies with a bunch of crunch inside.

Oh, my Lord. done Halloween Is it just bunch of crunch as the unit instead of Rice Krispies

No as well as Rice Krispies Yeah yeah With like bunch of crunch pockets Yeah That's what's great About putting in the popcorn

See that's gross That's gross That puts jalapinos In the popcorn Oh see now that's gross I think that's gross Because every once in a while I feel like a slime

pocket Yeah And it makes the It makes the popcorn Sodgy Yeah It tastes pickled And then the rest of it

tastes pickled Well, I like pickles. I love pickles. I love popcorn. I don't necessarily want to mix together. But I don't think they have jalapinos as an option in New York, right? No. That's only a Florida thing.

Yeah, that's, well, that's something you can actually do with the movie theater. Yeah, most of the movie theaters, at least the ones we would go to, had multiple different kinds of powder that you could put on the popcorn. Yeah, I like that. Yeah. Or, you know, bacon or something or whatever. We've got that in Iowa, too. And then they also have the pickled jalapenos.

Yeah. Wow. I like, it's like ranch powder for your popcorn. The ranch powder is pretty, weird. I'll have vinyos on it. I like it. I'm a moony sign of it.

Like a minute? It's gross. Don't do it. Please don't. Well, let's get to some celebrity news here. Looks like Beyonce might be pregnant again. Is she for real? I don't know.

Jay Z during one of his songs during their concert that was done last week, he replaced the words in Beaches Better. The song Beach is Better. Replace the words, I replace it with another one to, because she pregnant with another one. Apparently they're much more lovy-dovey on stage these days. They have to be. Yeah, and Jay-Z is showing the same overprotectiveness

that he showed when she was pregnant with Blue Ivy. You know it doesn't save a marriage having another child? No, only makes it worse. Only makes it worse. I was going to say maybe this means that all those divorce rumors were just hocus pocus. But your theory is the divorce rumors had solid ground and the baby is like a save the marriage with a baby baby. That or she got knocked up, didn't want to get rid of it because they took a picture of her with her newly pregnant belly. So I think this one might be real.

The last one definitely not real. Definitely not real. Because of that deflatable belly. Yes. And also, I mean, for many reasons, I strongly, firmly believe that she did not have that child, which is fine. She should have just fucking admitted it. But, you know, they are the king and queen, so it's hard to admit that if she, you know, didn't want to have the baby, which is fine if she didn't want to have the baby. Anyway, but they showed her showing in like a sexy JZ Beyonce photo.

So I think she's actually, because they never did that in the first one. Were there any fucking pictures? I don't see any fucking pictures. Unless they were had some filters on it. There's a fucking filters on it. And then, sure, she could be pregnant for fucking days. I could be pregnant. Put a filter on it.

Anyway. But I think that she actually, yeah, I think she's got knocked up, and I think they're going to keep it together for now. And I think that it's really weird to announce that in a song. Yeah. Well, he's been, they do that. They change the lyrics around in the songs, like these little weird, subliminal messages. Like, she did it during the divorce. Illuminati?

You mean the fucking Illuminati? I've heard this fucking story before. What are they going to put it on my currency to? Well, that was where a lot of the divorce rumors came from was that Beyonce's changing. of certain lyrics, her subtly saying that she's not happy in the relationship. A little passive aggressive, if you ask me. It is.

But I like how it's kind of like living in a murder mystery dinner. You know? It's like, what's she going to say tonight? Exactly. What is she thinking? What does she want to tell me? Exactly. I have to listen to her.

Well, this was, this video was, this whole lyric change was pointed out by vibe. And some people are calling it the alleged lyric change because it's really not all that clear. as to what he says. Let's listen to it. Let's see if we can, uh... Why, because it was in hip-hop. No one can hear what he's saying. No one knows what he's fucking saying. Let's see if we, let's hear it again. Let's hear it again. I think I heard pregnant with it. I think I caught the word pregnant. I think so. Also,

so is he doing that for him or is he doing that for the media hoping that someone's going to hear this minor change, which man, get a life? The tattoo is just like The night's the night I wonder what he's going to say And then that is like That's what he heard Live, that's what he heard

Yeah Somebody was listening That's what I heard That maybe said pregnant with it Sure Yeah that came That was from Instagram user

Magic 1021 So this is just some guy Who's like I heard him say this Yeah And then Vibe picked it up. All right. But now they, I mean, they're official.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're officially pregnant. Wait? Officially according to you. I don't think they're. I don't think they're. Yeah, officially, I think you are making that official proclamation.

I don't think so. Let me pull up my daily email from Us Weekly. If you'll excuse me for a moment. Yes. Beyonce poses nude while pregnant alongside Jay-Z in home videos for On the Run. Thank you. All right. I apologize.

Thank you. Thank you. I apologize. Likely, add it again, man. They got the news. I love these emails. Every day, man. Oh, no, no, no.

We misunderstood this because these pregnant videos are from when she was pregnant with blue ivies. What? Yeah, because she is very pregnant in these videos. Oops. Yeah. Very fake fucking pregnant. Yeah, look, you can't even see her fucking belt. Can we post this picture when we fucking put this out?

Yeah, we can post this picture. His arms are around her stomach. Give me a break. That could totally be a fake fucking stomach. This is the one you think is fake. Yes. Yeah. Oh, so she's not.

Officially. Pregnant. Officially. Not officially. Not officially. She's not like Kate Middleton. Jesus Christ. She's only two years older than I am.

Yeah, right? What are we doing with our lives? We would have gone to high school together. Oh, my God. She would have been that hot senior when I was a sophomore. The unattainable. Also, I mean, the start. was saying Kim Kardashian is pregnant again, but who knows?

Yeah, who knows? Who cares? Am I right? I mean, I want them to just. I kind of care. Babies on the same schedule, you know, that way North and Blue Ivy can be friends. New babies can be friends and bond about how messed up it is to be the children. I mean, they're probably going to go to the same school if they have, if they go to school outside of the house.

Aren't there like celebrity school? Oh, absolutely. For their kids? I believe, yeah, I think a lot of them, the one that, But Surrey goes to, I think that's a popular celebrity school. I think the Affleks also go there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of famous kids floating around.

And they all get to be friends with each other and it's weird. Eluminati. The Smiths are just weird. It's the weird thing to be just like a rich kid who wasn't famous in a classroom with a bunch of kids who were famous. You'd feel like a bit of an odd one out. Well, we were always that way when we, you know, like one of the girls I went to high school with was best friends.

with Brooke Hogan and was on the show, her own reality show, Hulk Hogan's daughter. Oh, because he lived close to where I grew up. And so she was best friends with her. And so, like, she would be around. And it's like, this girl who was, who I knew, who was gorgeous, had so much fucking money. And then would be around her and would just be like,

anything Brooke says, you know, Brooke is just. And she was, right? It's so fucking weird. But then she ended up being in a reality show with her. So I guess it paid off. Who got to be her friend in a reality. Like that's how she got known was being Brooke Hogan's friend in a reality show. Yikes.

And so she was known. Am I right? Am I right on? Where's she working now? I think she's just being hot somewhere. Yeah, she's just really hot. Emporium. No, no.

I think she just gets laid and like people pay her to travel the world. Which is what I'm aiming for. Yeah, that sounds wonderful. I think that's going to happen in the next few years for. me. So if anyone wants to take me on, I need a sugar daddy. Take on Jackie. Take on. Take me on. I'm so much fun.

Well, you mentioned the Kardashians earlier. There's a bit of news from the Jenner camp. Chris and Bruce Jenner are officially filing for divorce. You think it's because he's had this exchange completely? I think they're probably divorcing before he goes through with it completely because it's coming. It has to become. I don't understand why there's not enough news on this. Yeah, it's interesting how there was like a thing about it

And then it seems like it just kind of died down I think he's just out of this I think he's been taking a step back Because he didn't want to be in the show And you know he's like decided to really take a huge step back And I think he's just out of the spotlight And I think that's probably why Yeah There's no talk about it

Yeah I mean it's got to come out soon Yeah At some point Or maybe he's hoping just to go into the darkness Or maybe it's just a Because I mean, I know the sex change process is a long one. It's years and years.

It's years and years. So maybe right now he's just going through one of those wait and see transition periods. Right. So the next time he resurfaces could be with a whole new face, maybe some whole new titties too. Oh, my God. Can you imagine, though, if you just, like, needed to go through something very deeply personal like that, and you just happen to be fucking married to the most camera hungry family on earth? Oh, my God.

It would be terrible. It's got to get away from it, man. He's got to push himself away. Yeah, you sure do. Oh, that is difficult to imagine. But also the fact that he decided to do it. Yeah. I mean, if, you know, it comes out that he did, but he definitely is.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. And the divorce is very amicable. They're pretty much splitting everything right down the middle. That's good. Yeah, there's no spousal support on either side. For sure, it's not so hard if you're both like billionaires, right? That's probably not that bad. Yeah, they didn't have a pre-nup or anything like that, but they're just like, you know,

we'll get joint custody of Kylie. You know, well, Oh, the horse? The twins? I'm sorry, the Irish twin horse. Irish twin, yes. Kylie's the only one that's still underage. She's 17.

Okay. Yeah. Oh, God. The other one is 18 already? Mm-hmm. Oh, watch out. She show is. No, what, what?

Man, that sex tape is coming soon. Oh, so soon. Hell, I don't think I'll watch it. She's so tiny. At least Kim had, like, curves in that fucking sex. I mean, she was a lot of woman. I will watch it. Really?

Yeah. She's so, like, eh. And then you read her book while you're watching it. And you're like, oh my God, she's so untalented. Her dystopian teenage sci-fi. Oh, man, I bet she makes piggy noises when she has sex. No, I feel like she probably chooses to pretend like she's dead. You just do whatever you're going to do.

I'm just going to lay here and close my eyes and not breathe. Well, let's move on to some view news. My favorite kind of things. So have you been watching The View, Molly, since the change? I haven't seen it since The Change. Because when I, the most recent time, I watched Rachel Ray, and then I watched The View because it's 10 and 11. Watch Rachel Ray. I just, why did you watch Rachel Ray?

I know. And then, I was in. I know. E-O-O- my God. I know. Watch me. Her food genre is just bar food. She just makes bar food.

And that's why I love bar food, but I'm surprised the empire she's built. It's all nachos. How's a fried pickles? I have not done the fried pickles I love fried pickles They're the best of my favorite bar food Well, I'm right behind buffalo wings But fried pickles

I mean wings definitely trump fried pickles She does a lot of She'll put buffalo sauce on anything Which I appreciate I love buffalo sauce Love buffalo sauce Yeah and yeah she's got Fried pickle chips

With Ranch Dipper recipe By Rachel Ray And they look like solid fried pickles too All right So I take back my criticism With Rachel Ray Her food is probably delicious

I'm sure you can leave Yeah you can cover anything and fucking butter and fry it and it tastes great. Yeah. It looks like a pretty solid recipe. Yeah. Eggs, breadcrumbs, cornmeal, sour cream. You know.

I just don't think she deserves the empire. She's great. I started watching her when I was in high school because I thought 30 minute meals was hilarious because she's always sprinting around the kitchen. She doesn't measure anything. She just rapidly throws it in the bowl and stirs it as fast as she can.

And like throws it in the oven. She's like, oh, I know I got it. But at the end of the show, she's like scarfing it down really quick so she can finish it before the show's over. It's just so funny. And then next thing I knew, she has this empire. But she comes on right before the view.

The last view I saw was all hosted by the Muppets. And I laughed out loud so many times. That is great time. I had a great time. It is a political disagreement that we have here because, of course, you know, they have to have the right-wing commentator on the view. Her name is Nicole Wallace. And she said that President Obama doesn't love people.

and of course that pissed off Rosie O'Donnell so they had an on-air fight which continued off-air and this happened less than two days into the new lineup But that's what they wanted they wanted spice You know they wanted this fucking shit

And Whoopi hates it She described the audition process As something similar to the hunger game Put me on the view I will say what you want me to say I will be whatever you want me to be Whoopee? Whoopi, Poopi!

Who would be the Sherry Shepherd. You'd be, Sherry Shepherd was like a peacemaker. Yeah. Still had a couple of, you know. Jabs and that. Jabs. Yeah, a lot really funny.

She would try to bring together Whoopi and Elizabeth Hasselbeck. But they have nobody in between. You know, they ain't got no peace. Where do Pete's at? Nope, no, ain't no peace. Because Rosie and Whoopi, they're just going to gang up on this,

they're on this Republican woman. I mean, at least have like a public viewing of them beating her to death. Not to death, just beating her. Just like get it out. And then have her, you know, I feel like the girl

could have like, you know, brass knuckles, like something to aid her in fighting back. But it's like, man, that's the way to fight. Fuck verbal abuse. I mean, right now,

you know, he got in the middle. You got Rosie Perez. Oh my God. Rosie Perez. She actually sounds like that, right? Oh my God, yes. I have mixed up Rosie Perez

and another. famous person, maybe Rosario Dawson. Oh, very different. Rosary Dawson's very put together and very beautiful. Rosie Perez, beautiful, but short, fiery Latino woman. She's like a New Yorker, right?

Oh, yeah. There's a woman right there. Okay, that's, yeah, that's Rosie Perez. Oh, and then. It could happen to you. Tall and gorgeous Rosario. Yeah, yeah. Gotta watch white men can't jump. White men can't jump. Oh, my God. I love that movie. Do the right thing.

But it can happen to you as also a very good movie. All right. Noted. Rosie Perez. But you hate Nick Cage, right? I don't hate Nick Cage. I mean, I don't think that he's a good actor. Don't want it to happen to you.

And Rosie Perez, nice little connection here, was in God's Behaving Badly with our very own, Henry Zabrowski. Was she really? Yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah. That never saw the light of day, though. It never came out.

This movie that Henry was in, I mean, it's like every, like he became really good friends. with Mrs. Huxstable. Felicia Rashad. Yeah. He was like hanging out with Flesha Rashad. He made out with Sharon Stone. This movie is like studded with celebrities.

Christopher Walkin. John Titoa. Alicia Silverstone. Osif Monvi. Oliver Platt. Never saw the light of day. How bad is this fucking movie? Oh, no.

I think it actually did because it's got a metacritic rating of 5.9 out of 10 from 55 different users. But he never went to a premiere or anything. for it. I don't think that was a premiere. I don't think it was a straight I think it was a straight to DVD release. It doesn't even have any trivia for fuck sake. You haven't seen it? No, but I don't know if I necessarily want to watch

Henry Making Out with Sharon Stone, who's apparently very into it when she does it. Is this the one where he's like a god on earth? Okay. He plays Hermes. And he had to ride on a Vespa. Yeah, and he was actually in a celebrity magazine riding a Vespa

with Alicia Silverstone. Wow. All right, I am not familiar with it. He's just right below Tracy Chimo or in billing. I don't know who that is. She played the architect number one. So he was here. I mean, this was going to take him to rocket stardom. But right above the Zaville Kamestockki who played wedding guest.

But his pictures on there. Pictures on there. Pictures on there, baby. So you got that. It's all a letter. You know, you get one more step on the ladder. But I would love to meet Rosie. Like Rosie Perez, I think, is a great choice for the view.

Yeah. I really like Rosie Perez. Yeah, she's really funny, really outspoken. I have to watch it tomorrow. I haven't watched it in a while because I've been so upset. Ever since Jenny McCarthy. Yeah. I've refused to watch it.

So now I need to get back into it. I just, I can't get over what she is. I just hate her. I don't like her. Jenny McCarthy. Yes. Yeah. No.

No. Nobody should like her. And I'm just not that big of a fan of Rosie O'Donnell. I know. Wasn't she on before and it didn't go well? I thought that nobody liked her when she was on the view. I don't think anyone liked her. I mean, she lost 50 pounds.

Maybe that has something to do with it. They wanted some sort of redemption story or something like that. I don't know. But yeah, no one ever liked her. Everyone always talks shit about Rosie O'Donnell first. You're right. I remember. Everyone is like, oh, she's too.

Because you need somebody who's like loud and abrasive, but not too loud and abrasive for the view. You know, like that's my woodie's great. Yeah. Because Whoopie actually has a lot of really strong beliefs, but she's also actually surprisingly good. at like presenting them in a way that doesn't totally piss people up. She's Gyn' for fuck's sake.

Yeah. She's good at being the host. She's very good at it. She knows how to keep a temperament. But with someone that has that kind of like strong, you know, it's like you can't scream at somebody on the view. This is morning television. There's a time and a place. So I'm going to watch tomorrow.

I'll get back to you guys. Sounds good. We'll have a full view report next week. All right. And before we get the list, we would be remiss if we did not briefly mention Robin Thick's bad year. Oh my God, what a year for this man. Give up.

The deposition in the lawsuit between him and Marvin Gay's family, who they say he ripped off blurred lines from a Marvin Gay song. I mean that, like, I know nothing about music, but I thought it was intentional that it had that. I forget which song is, but it's very, very obvious. Yeah. Because I listen to a lot more Marvin Gay than I do blurred lines. You know what I mean?

Yeah. We all do. But I thought that it was intentional. I know that this happens a lot in music. And like, wouldn't you at least ask or do something a little bit different? Like even the bum bum bum bum. Yeah. Remember that old thing?

See, his is dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. And mine is dun dun dun dun dun. See? It's different. Yeah, I fucking remember that. That wasn't like a behind the music or something. Oh, yeah, baby. Vanilla ice behind the music, one of the best behind the music.

I loved it. That existed. Man, if I could find a collection of behind the music, so I've talked about it on it plenty of times before, the Leaf Garrett behind the music is beyond fantastic. I love it. I remember really liking the Green Day one. The Green Day one was all right. I don't remember the Green Day one.

It was a lot of them being like, stop calling us sellouts, which in the early 2000s was fair. It is no longer fair. But Destiny's Child one, I loved it. I didn't see that one either. Oh, my God. I was born the days of Ozzy Osbourne, deaf leopard. Those are the ones that I really got into. Motley Crew, that one was fucking awesome as well.

The Rock ones, except for Leaf Garrett. The Weird Al one was, of course, fantastic. It was just fun, and they just kind of glossed over his parents dying of carbon monoxide poisoning. You know, it's fine. You don't need to know about that. No, the lowest... It was funny, the lowest point in his entire career. Actually, I think that was aired before his parents died.

And up until that, the lowest point in his career was he had one album, that didn't do that well. It still did pretty good, but just not as good. And that was the lowest point in his entire career. I just feel like he's not getting the accolades of how brilliant it was to take so much time and then, like, drop a bunch of shit. And now, like, then he got hot again because everyone loves his shit. Yeah. I mean, now everyone's forgotten about him.

Of immediately. But he had a good week there. But he did. But it was smart. I'd say two weeks. Two weeks. A great two weeks. Where I bet he made enough money to fucking live for the next 10.

10 years and worked on another album if he wants to. If he wants to. He's been making albums for so long. Good for him. He's just taking his time and do whatever and doing exactly what he wants to fucking do. I think it's amazing. The thing about Robin Thick, though, is that his whole excuse is he was too drunk and high to know that he was stealing. And then he also blamed it on Farrell.

And I'm like, go fuck yourself, Robin Thick. Farrell is an actual musician. Don't throw him under the bus here. Farrell does take credit for writing all the words to the song. All the words. Definitely. So I think Farrell is culpable in this case. He's also named in the suit.

Let's listen to a comparison of the two songs. Let's see what we think here. It's just catchy. It might be catchy because Marvin Gay wrote it. But also, I remember. And then here is Marvin Gay right here. I mean, it's the same. Yeah.

But it is definitely close. And like that's even a live version. of it. So like I'm sure that the exact like Yeah I mean it's the same tempo for fuck thing. The same thing. Yeah. It really is. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey. I mean, that's still catchy. But I think it's also interesting because at least I don't know anything about this

but I was talking with Doug about like how many times in history like this happens often but usually it doesn't hit the media. Right. Like it depends on what the situation is that people decide to bring it to light and I think that it's like because the Robin Thick has hit such a low they decided to jump on this and be like yeah and he's fucking up again but I never realize that this happens a lot that people sue over like ditties and beats and songs yeah and usually it just doesn't come to the attention of the media it happens on in any genre of music I remember in the 90s there was a lawsuit between the offspring and this punk band agent orange

You remember that song, Come Out and Play, The Offspring's biggest hit, like that. Darnan-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Yes, I know. Yeah, Agent Orange sued the offspring

for allegedly stealing that riff from one of the Agent Orange songs. So, it happens at every level. And, you know, I'll bet, you know, obviously so much of music is, like, building on other music, but also there's building, and then there's...

The exact thing. outright theft. My favorite thing about the Robin Thick being like, I was too high is because like, do you guys remember any of the interviews that he did during? He was like, we wrote this. I was thinking about that. I talked about that on here. I remember this one specific interview. I don't know why it stuck out in my head when he was like, I was talking to Farrell and he was working on the beat.

And I was like, hey, we should do like something like, hey, hey, hey, like Fat Albre. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like they were sitting and like, he's creating the beat as Robin Nix was like, hey, hey, hi, hi. Lying. He was just fucked, maybe just fucked up where he was just sitting like, oh, hey, hey. Burrell said, hey, you know what, that sounds good,

let's put it in there. Oh, my God. Remember that interview he did with the Day Show where he was like, it's a feminist revolution? And he was fucked up during that interview. So fucked out, so visibly fucked up. Yeah. Oh, that guy.

Bitch ain't taking you back. Yeah, and he was also on Oprah all fucked up with his preschool age son. Oh, God. Well, at least he probably wasn't in Gary. I'm sure there was a nanny right backstage that he ended up the kid too. Yeah, but still, oh, that guy was so fucked up. And I just thought he was just dumb. No.

No, Vicodin and alcohol. Jesus, fucking Christ. Oof, oof. I think he was just that dumb all the time, not fucked up and dumb. Man. He's definitely still dumb. No question about that. Certainly.

Mm-hmm. Well, we would also be remiss if we didn't mention one other piece of celebrity news. As I was looking through the celebrity news list today, I noticed we actually have a friend in celebrity news. It's insane, man. Michael Chee. Oh, yeah. Congratulations. We're going on a weekend update, which is fucking awesome.

It was very bizarre to see his name among the Kardashians. and the Jay Zs and the Beyonce's. So weird. But there's a boy right up there on top. So, so fucking weird. He deserves it, man. That guy is so fucking funny. He's so happy for him.

He's the best person in the entire world. Yeah, he's so nice. You know, weekend update, it's pretty, I mean, it's no round table of the year. I mean, you know, he's doing pretty good for himself. He's doing pretty good for, I mean, not until he, you know, gets roundtable of the year, maybe four times in a row.

But, you know, I'm going to go ahead and throw it out there. Man hasn't changed a fucking tick. Not a single bit. Every time I see him, he is just the exact. same person, just like, good for you, man. He's still the exact same guy that he was when he came in on one of the very, very early episodes of the roundtable right after his girlfriend had beat him with a stick of theod. Oh, my God.

When she was throwing shit at him, he's like, she's tiny. Throwing shit at me? She took a, if I could stick a deodorant and like raked him across the face with it. He had a big. Came in like an hour late and bleeding and was like, what the fuck happened to you, dude? He's like, my girlfriend beat me out. It's like, man, we knew you when. We knew you when.

Other little known fact about him. Fantastic painter. Really? Photorealistic painter. What? You're kidding. No. No, absolutely not.

A buddy of mine went to high school with him. And, you know, Mike also showed me what's a picture of a painting he did a Miles Davis. Fucking photorealistic. Holy shit. Yeah. He's a beautiful person. Yeah. He's great.

I'm so happy for him. All right. Well, time for the list. Who's on the list? Yeah. Got to have a lot. That list. Seven celebrities who changed their names.

Ooh. All right. Yeah, Joaquin Phoenix, his real name. Still Joaquin, but Joaquin Raphael Bottom. Oh,

I wonder why he changed it. Makes think of what was that Midsummer Night's Dream? The ass. The ass is named Bottom. Oh, yeah. And you know what? That also means that his brother's name was

Rivers Bottom. Rivers bottom. Rivers bottom. I like that. Oh, wait, so they all changed her last name. Yeah, after his parents changed the family's last name after they left the Children of God Religion in 70s. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because remember he was in a cult. Right, yeah, that's right. We all forget that. Olivia Wilde. Her real name is Olivia Jane Cockburn. Ooh, man, she is a Cockburn. I bet she gives Rugburn wherever she goes. Oh, yeah.

Michael Cain, this one's funny. His real name is Morris Micklewhite. See, that's fun. Why didn't he keep them? Michael Cain is such a blazze. It is. I don't know. Maurice.

Micklewatt. Miquot. Miquot. I don't know. Molleris, Micklewight. I can't do it. I guess they don't understand.

None of us can do that. I don't know. I remember, like, in the early day, even like with Henry, last name, Zabrowski, they're like, do you want to change your name? He's like, why? Why would I change? He's like, well, it's just a little, like, ethnic. Oh, Zabrowski is ethnic.

Like, that. That's to it. Like, why would he change? I thought we've moved past the point of like looking at white people as ethnic. I, I just. We've kind of gotten to the point. Like, that's the first barrier that goes down where it's like, oh, your name is O'Brien. Maybe we should change that.

It's a little ethnic. Yeah. We're post-white ethnic. Yeah. We're post-white ethnic. We're moving towards other things. Like, you know, there can be Rosie Perez's instead of like Rosie Black. Yep.

It just doesn't make any sense. I don't know. Yeah. And also Zabrowski. It's not like you would look at it and be like, I can't pronounce this. That's Polish bitch. The bookie. You're someone who does have a weird name, but it makes a lot of sense that she changed it.

Demi Moore, her real name, I don't even know if I know how to, to actually, Demetri is her first name, but I think her last name is Guns or Guns. G-U-I-N-E-S-G-E-S-G-E-S. Oh, yeah, it's a hard one. Yeah, especially if you're like a sexy man. Yeah, you need something. I mean, Demetrius is fine. Degynes.

Yeah, but Gines. Gines. Bruno Mars, that's of course not his name. Of course not. Yeah, his real name is Peter Jean Hernandez. Which is a nerdy name. Mea. Peter Hernandez does not have the poppiest ring to it.

No. Pete Hernandez is not, or Jean Hernandez. That's understandable. That is understandable. Very, yeah. I mean, Julie M. Moore, her real name, just boring real name. Julie Smith. So she just wanted to sound a little more flowery.

Yeah. More isn't even that different than Smith. But the Julianne, you know. Yeah. And Smith. Just like, Smith is, that's fine. I feel like it's interesting that it is such an old school thing. Because I feel like now you would think it would be even more popular that like if you typed in Julie Smith into Google, I mean, a million fucking things are going to pop up.

Right. You know, you would want a different name now. like Henry Zabrowski as opposed like Henry White. You know, it's like, there's a million of them. I don't like that my name is hard for people to pronounce, but I do like that there's no other Google results. Right. I got a couple of convicted felons.

Well, yeah, Marcus Parks. Yeah, yeah, there's definitely some convicted. No, it's all. I'm sure they all look just like you. They look exactly like me. They're all either felons or there's one Marcus Parks, also from Texas, who has no arms, but is able to shoot a gun.

with his feet. That's awesome. You should really learn something from him, Markis. I should. I should give him a call and interview him. So you're the number two, Marcus Parks, is what you're saying. I'm the number one. I'm still the number one.

So you can shoot a gun with your feet. I'm going to say number two. Okay, I'm definitely number one. All right. In fact, he comes up way, but I had to go pretty far to Googling myself to find that guy. It's just because he's disabled. Yeah, I know it is.

I do love the idea of a Google image search of Marcus Parks where all the images are different people who all look just like you, though. I love that. None of them are the same race as me. That's fine. Except for the kid with no arms. Wow.

White. White. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Marcus Parks. Marcus Jordan Parks.

Yeah. It's not the whitest name in the world. No. Not the widest name of the world. But hey, you know what? Who is? Whoopi Goldberg. What's her real name?

Karen Johnson. Yeah. Gotta go. Whoopie, baby. Man, that must have been a long-ass time ago. She's always been whoopee in like IMDB and shit, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, she changed it right at the very beginning. Oh, yeah.

Uh, fucking Larry King. Lawrence Harvey Ziegler. Oh, yeah, too Jew. Mm-hmm. Yeah, Meg Ryan, Margaret, Mary, Emily, and Hira. Oh, too many. Too many. Yeah, even Margaret Hira.

Yeah, too much. But Maggie Hira, that's kind of a cool. man. That's cute. Yeah. Not anymore. She ain't cute no more. That's for sure. No, she ain't cute no more. I mean, she's looking just tight, tight, tight, tight, tight. Tight, tight, tight, tight. Natalie, tight, tight. Natalie Herschlag. Oh, yeah. Yeah, got to change that one.

And, of course, the Sheen family is really the Estevez family. This Emilio goes by. Estabez. He's the only one that kept it. Estabez is a fine name. Estabez is a very fun name. Too ethnic. Too ethnic, especially like Apocalypse now, like Charlie Estevez.

I imagine that would give some some studio people a pause back in the 70s. I just can't believe they're allowed to say the phrase that something is too ethnic. Isn't that just, isn't that bad? It's a reminder how openly racist the United States used to be. I think these days the only time you're allowed to say that

is if you're like deciding which restaurant to go to. Yes. And you're like Indian food's like too ethnic. Yeah. And even then somebody in the group might give you like a look like, don't say that. Don't say that. They're going to get, yeah.

Too oriental for me. Right, right. But what else are you supposed to say when you're like, my food tastes are fairly bland and run American? And I like, I like burgers and steaks. I would be like, that makes me shit too hard. You know, I need something to block me up. And somehow that's better. Yeah.

Or you can say I like bland food. You put it on yourself instead of putting it on the other people, you know? I suppose so. Too oriental. I'd say that. I could also. I'll say it's too Oriental. Yeah.

Moving away from that one. I thought that was okay. Definitely. Oriental is like a rug. But to describe it to people is falling out of fashion. But can you use it to describe a food, though? I don't think so. Molly, you're supposed to know all of it.

You are the arbiter. I think it would be better to name the country of the food that you are describing. Two Chinese. I mean, that's problematic for different reasons. But yeah, I think that the general freight, the Orient was basically, I think, a mystical word invented by white people to describe what they thought of. Where spices come from. Exactly. Right.

So I think that's why we're kind of trying to move past that phrase. What about too Ottoman? You know, I think that's fine. It's like if you don't want to eat Greek food, so you're like too Ottoman. It's a little too Ottoman for me. Or Turkish troops. We were going to be Ottoman. Right?

Or turkey. Turkey. Turkey. Yeah, it was turkey. Uh, that I do not know what the standard. I'm bringing it back. You could bring it back. I think we need to start bringing back old empire.

I think we need to start, you know, really digging for this shit. If people give you a dirty look, then you can be like, hey, the Ottoman Empire is really powerful. Yeah. And they were? They were. They were, man. They did a good job. They had a good time.

Yeah. We can also blame them for the slaughter of the last 115 years. Meem, weem, weem. Yeah, whatever. It's time. for blind items. Oh, we can't see it. This A-list, mostly movie actress, who is an Academy Award winner and nominee,

had to have a page in his script rewritten while shooting because she was unable to smile as the script called for too much Botox. She can frown, though, and grimace. What hell. I can't smile like it would only be frown and grimace. I'm an actor. It's better be a sad movie because that's all I've got it. My fuck I got.

And it's a shame because she's got a beautiful smile. One of the most beautiful actresses of the last 20 years, at least in my opinion, tall, blonde, used to be married to a short gay. Short gay. Merrill Street? No, tall, blonde. Beautiful woman, Australia. Merrill Street is also tall and blonde. Oh, Nicole Kidman.

Yeah. Ah, yeah. Yeah. Still kind of married to a pretty gay man. Did Keith Urban? Yeah. Is he gay? Oh.

Huh. Man, I've talked to you about his... Doug, maybe watch that fucking concert. He's like, I want to see what new country's all about these days. And he wears the tight shirts, and he has all these sweat bands with his initials on them. And his hair. I mean, look at his hair. Oh, there are many rumors around.

A radio DJ said that Keith Urban kissed him. I don't mean to, you know, use stereotypes here, Molly. I apologize. But as someone then has been around my favorite... share of gay men, both sexually and personally. I have heard your descriptions of being around gay men and sexually. I mean, he is a wonderful performer. Oh, yeah.

It puts on a show. Sure. But, yeah, I mean, you see the two of them together, and she's like, she can barely smile, definitely. She can definitely only grimace and frown. And he just is like, I have a wife. This is my wife. Oh, man.

All right. Next up. Oh, yeah. She's a tight, tidy, tidy. Tight. Next up. There's some gross ones this week. Definitely some gross ones.

This Oscar nominated leading man may be easy on the eyes, but we're not sure how easy he is on the nose. On the nose. He doesn't wear deodorant, but admits that he does take a lot of showers in the morning and then at night and even after workout. That's three a day. However, sources say he doesn't. He doesn't wash with soap and he even puts on his dirty clothes back on.

Oh. So it doesn't make much of a difference. He's in Silver Lines Playbook. Oh my God. Stinky Man. Really? Oh yeah. Because he lives with his mother.

Where it's crusty clothes for days at a time. It's like you can't be a dude bro that hard. Yeah. No. It's like you can ride the dude bro wave totally. Very attractive, very chill, but you got it. Yeah. I mean, you're Oscar nominee.

You're in a different playing field. You have to take care of yourself. Yeah, you got to take some personal responsibility. You have to. You really do. Oh, poor Jennifer Lawrence. Silver Lange's Playbook is on Netflix right now, by the way. I need to see it still.

You need to watch it. You need to watch it. You love it. Next up, another gross one. This permanent A-plus list, mostly movie actor, and his son have been partying their brains out the past week, and that partying has included sharing the affections, of four female friends that the son

found at a party and brought home to dad the first night of their stay. I presume that money changed hands, but no one knows for sure. Apparently, the dad reeks of cigarette smoke and sweat and didn't shower for the entire week. Wow, it's very.

He's an old, old, old man, and Jackie, this might put a terrible image in your head. Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson for show. Oh, go show. Oh, give me a break like money was exchanged. Are you fucking kidding me?

I don't care how old someone is. They will fuck Jack Nicholson to say, hey, I fuck Jack Nicholson. Unless you're an idiot. I wouldn't have money. I would be like, no. I'd kiss him on the cheek. Well, that's not the same. Guess not.

So you're saying if you were a sex worker and your job, your income came from exchanging money for sex and you got the opportunity to work. Oh, no, then you take the money. And you take the money. But it sounds like these girls were friends with his son. And the son maybe did a little bit. It was like, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, it's like, fuck this guy. He's a legend. You should be like, I fuck Jack Nicholson. Big time, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't be happy about it. He looks like my dad, so I'd probably frown. Yeah. But I would have such a story.

Jesus Christ. Have you seen a picture of his son? He looks weird. He looks like a strange, bizarre version of Jack Nicholson. Whoa, oh my God, he's terrifying. He's a terrifying man. Oh, my, my Lord. Oh, my God, wow.

He's terrifying. He's an ugly version of Jack Nicholson. He's a shark version of Jack Nicholson. Yes, his mouth is too big. Yeah. Yeah, he's got a little tiny... His cheeks are too wide. And a tiny forehead.

Yes. Like a fin. Yeah, like a fin. He does have a fin. He's got that widow's peak. He's got a shark head. Yeah, shark head. Wow.

Only 22, that guy. Wow. I was going to say, Jack Nicholson's son must be in his late 40s. I thought, yeah, I thought that guy was Defland as at least 30s. Birthed when Jack Nicholson was 55. Wow. Wow. All right.

Good for Jack Nicholson. Yeah, man, he is still banging Broads. He sure is. Yeah, banging Broads left and right. Why would he have to his fucking shower? He doesn't have to shower anymore. He's old. I would argue that that would necessitate more showers.

I bet he didn't shower that much when he was young. I bet he didn't either. I bet he didn't. He looks like a dirty boy. Mm-hmm. Greasy man. Yeah, man. Did you think he was hot when he was young? I can't because he looked exactly like my father.

Still, all right. But I do think that he's an attractive man. But, you know, like I said, like, you know, the shining, he looked, my father looked exactly like him. Horrifying. That is horrifying. Yes. Yeah, that really is. A lot of levels.

It is really scary in the shining. Yes. Yeah. That face. I mean, I have to bring in wedding. picture sometime. It's very, it's eerie. Is your dad in the wedding picture like, hey?

No, he's just like, I got one. That's what his face looks like. What about during wolf? During wolf? Yeah, as far as a connection to your father, as far as looks go. Wolf, was he similar? I don't know Wolf. Which is of Eastwick. How about that? Oh, which is of Eastwick. Yes, yeah.

Now they, I mean, they've definitely veered off, but I would say until my dad was probably in his, you know, my dad was an older dad. So until he was in his like late 50s, early 60s, they looked very, very similar. Same receding hair, like, hair exactly the same.

Eyes, like, were they always look angry? Like, I mean, it's exactly the same. But my dad just got fatter in different ways and, like, you know, lost most of his, like, teeth. So it's kind of different. Yeah. And also doesn't look as cool. I feel like Jack Nichols and now looks cool

because he's still getting banged. He's still doing a bunch of drugs still drinking. My dad, you know, gave it all love and had family life instead. Yeah, well, that'll happen sometimes. I guess. Some men. My dad's a loser. The world is better for it, though, because we've got you and Henry.

Uh-huh. Now, town for the gay honor. Yay! Yay! What a list actor who's been teasing the press about his sexuality was spotted around town with a blonde transsexual. here in New York City. Now transsexual means peony no peony. I believe it means...

Molly? I'm going to say the term itself is generally... Not exactly outdated, but the term is ambiguous. The term can mean a lot of things. It could be anywhere in between. It can be crossed-sler. Right. I mean, I think it generally is used as a slur

towards people who are gender non-conforming depending surgery, no surgery. I think it usually means your... gender is confusing me. Right. Some people identify as transsexual, but also other people aren't so into that word. But I think it, I think when I see that word in like blind items, I think it usually just means their gender presentation is not. It definitely means female to male.

Especially him talking about, yeah, teasing his sexuality to the press. But, yeah. What's the hit? He was in the dawn of the planet of the age. Mark Rorffler. Huh? Molly. The weirdest look to each other.

Bumpfulbo? I wish that we had that look captured on radio. I know what we just looked at each other like. I said Mark Wahlberg. Molly said Mark Ruffalo at the same time. I didn't see the movie, but is Mark Wahlberg? We both gave a like... Maybe?

It's James Franco. Oh, sure. That makes way more sense. Yeah. It makes a lot of sense. With either of our people even in the movie? Mark Wahlberg was in the Planet of the Apes redo that Tim Burton did in the 90s. Remember with what's her name?

Oh man, it's in every Tim Burton movie, his wife. Oh, Helena Bottom Car. Where she played a monkey in that movie and looked real weird, but was still kind of hot. And it was kind of confusing in a lot of different ways. Yeah, for you. Not for everybody, but for you? I mean, for me, yeah. I mean, I'm sure there were a lot of men.

who looked at monkey Helena Bottom Carter and thought you know maybe I could fuck a monkey I'm sure I'm not the only one right in at cavecomitory radio and Gmail.com if you shared these feelings please now you're weird

oh Marcus yeah that one this way I don't know weirdo just like the Gerber meatstick people emerge the all fuck a monkey people yeah I'm sure they are soon to follow yeah yeah I mean I got the dirt smellers I got the Gerber eaters and now we're going to get the monkey fuckers well but

not just monkey fuckers Helena Bottom Carter monkey fuckers. Not any monkeys. Not just monkeys. I mean, these are apes. So let us be, I mean, we're talking about using the correct nomenclature here.

Please. Apes. Fucking ape. You wanted to fucking ape. Apes are the closest to humans. If I was going to fuck any animal that would be the least creepy one. Yes.

Sure. Or bonobos. Bonobos love sex. Bonobos do love sex. But a chimp. Let's go for a chimp. I'm definitely going to go for a chimp here. Give me a great ape.

I think James Franco is gay. Yeah. Or he's at least queer. I don't know if he's gay. I think he's gay. You're right. I think he's, yeah.

Seems to me pansexual. Yeah. Seems to me like keep fucking anything. You're right. I think he's just a whole fucker. Yeah. Like he just wants a whole. No matter what kind of hole.

Which, you know, I feel like isn't that where we're heading anyway? Yeah, that's fine. I feel like, yeah, you know, this blind item shouldn't even be a blind item. Unless, they're 17. Yeah. Unless if they're a child is different.

but James Franco, he likes to have sex with all sorts of people. That's great. Yes, he does. Tiny peony though. Yep. Can't forget that. Real small. Really teeny tiny.

That's all right. You know, you're working what you got. Hey, maybe he likes to put it in holes. Maybe he likes it put in a hole. We don't know. You're right. But you know what? Holes, a hole is a hole.

Anything James Frank, any hole James Franco wants to mess around with. Good for you, James Franco. Yeah, especially if his arm is caught in it. You know, I bet that like he'll fuck. I mean, if you're just out there. You're clamped. You got all this time. It's like, fucking put it in me.

Keep stuffing that hole, Franco. Stuffing that hole. Is that it? That's it. All right. Thank you guys so much. My name is Jackie Zbrowski. My name is Molly Neb.

I'm Marcus Parks. And I'm walking on, walking on broken glass. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Walking on, walking on broken glass. It's haunting me Someone get me out of this night Hey Any Lennox

Turn it up louder Louder louder I feel like I'm being One would get me out of my rack How did they get any lights See you next week Ladies and gentlemen

Oh my God I love that song