Page 7 - Evil Panties w/ Amber Nelson

Episode Date: July 24, 2026

This week on Page 7, MJ and Jackie are joined by SPUN (and Brighter Side and HoopaGooGoo)'s very own Amber Nelson to pitch an opportunity the network can't miss out on! Then we're onto talkin' 'bout the many shades of musicals that exist, and EVIL PANTIES (created by a professional pop culture troll) are trying to RUIN Zendaya!? Speakin' of HUMAN SHIT, T-Bell Influencer Supreme Jackie got GOT with the cyclospora over the weekend. Then we got a LIST of (40:36) Famous People Who OPENLY Talked SMACK About Other CELEBRITIES, BLINDZ, and then we got a Drive Thru replacin' Jackie's Snackies @ 1:12:00, followed by a MEAT to be MJ's Minute Munchies @ 1:18:14 ending @ 1:26:19, plus even more on this week's Page 7! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

To page seven, my name is Jackie Zabrowski. My name is M.G. And the story... What is your name? MJ? You don't even know your name? Oh, your MGM Studios. We just spent an hour and a half talking about MGM Studios and Liza Minnelli. The story of the week here at page seven is that we tried one week to stop singing.

And we were going to just jump into the episode. We're going to optimize the YouTube algorithm. We're going to say what we're talking about. But Jackie and I are living inside the head of Liza Minnelli right now. And someone just try to stop Jackie when she is living the life of Gypsy Rose Lee. Well, someone tell me, when is it my turn? Don't I get a dream for myself? Starting now, it's going to be my turn.

Gang, right, roll. Get off on my runway. Starting now, I, about a thousand. This time I'll be taking the back. Things coming up, Jack. Yeah. Everything's coming up. Everything's coming up, Jackie.

This time for me. for me for me for me for me I'm the Ethel even though Liza didn't sing that and that's also not Gypsy singing the song in the musical Gypsy it is Rose's turn but that is the song that is in my head because even though

again not talking about gypsy in the world of Liza Manelli although aren't we and this is a perfect time to introduce our amazing guest host Amber Nelson. Hi everybody. What a delight to be here again. We're so happy that you are here. Of course, co-host from Spun, co-hosts from Briderside. Also, recently on Hoopagoooooooooo, too, over on the YouTube. Yes, and I'm going to be on the new Dungeons and Dragons show that's dropping like the later in the week. Vampire the Masquerade. Yes. Vampire the Masquerade is the name of the game. But it is similar. Yes. And we, and Amber and I have been played. playing D&D together. And it's so much fun. Yes, we've been having a blast.

I love Dungeons of Dragons. It's a way to like, everybody wants to escape right now. I'm tired of hearing the words, optimize the algorithm. My ancestors don't know what that is. Can we eat it? No.

No. No, we can't. Can we farm it? I know. Can we club it over the head and drag it into a cave algorithm? I guess it's the only way we're going to find it.

I don't know. I know. Oh, sorry? Well, we're just ruled by the algorithm now, but the thing is we all are too old to optimize the algorithm. I'm going to say it. We just can't.

We can't. I won't learn what to do to optimize the algorithm. I won't. What are you talking about? We're singing Broadway. We're bringing in Liza Minnelli. Yes, we're bringing the great white way to podcasting. This is what they've been begging for.

God, I moved to New York to do musical theater. I love musical theater. Did you move to New York to do musical theater? Yes. And then I really learned that I was not as good as everybody else. How did you learn? How did you learn? Because I learned this in high school, so I'm curious how you made it all the way

to the young adulthood and then learned. All the way to my big dumb early 20s. I was in, you go to backstage, back of the day, you go to backstage, you look at the casting call. Oh, yeah, dude. And then you show up, you do show up at like 6 a.m. There's already a line out the door. And these girls were, I remember a girl doing a split on the wall hitting a high seat.

And I was just like, oh, I thought just being charismatic and funny and could do like a shuffle. and could sing. That's a high sea clam slam right there. Whoa, how's you getting it all the way up there? That's a high sea clam slam. Who knows if you got the role, but I was just like quickly learned. And then they had us go for Spring Awakening.

I auditioned for that. And they had us, they pulled us in groups of like 10 and to go stand in line and there was so many people, they would just go, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no. And I remember thinking like, oh, I took off work for this. So I can't, I can't do this anymore. I gotta go figure it out. right and then I found improv

oh and then and then saved you and that's what it was different series of crushing disappointments followed but in the improv world and that's how we all yeah I mean I we Jackie and I did a musical theater night last Friday

at Jack and with the Holies It was awesome I bet we had MJ on and we did so many it was crazy last five years did you do that you know we did none I was in that in college Amber and I know and we both love the last five years and someday, and I'm going to pitch it every... The next ten minutes. We can handle that. That's why Amber and I, again, we're going to pitch

it every single time Amber comes on page seven network. Do you want to sponsor? Amber and I doing a full version of the last five years together. Jamie's over and Jamie's gone. Oh, my God, you're going to destroy me and you're going to be my Shixag Goddess, baby. But it's crazy because MJ came on to Jackin with the Holdies, and we had Broadway night because Holden, when I first brought up Broadway night, he was like never in a million years. People are opposite spectrums about Broadway, musical theater, and I get it because Broadway should be, when you have a musical, it should be the emotions are so high. That's why you sing. But unfortunately, a lot of, like 90% of it's just like, and song goes here now. And that's why it sucks. This is also why I'm a, I'm speaking of feeling old, I'm a bit of a pure. I want the musicals that are a hundred years old, you know? And I like that, like, today's middle schoolers are, they love Broadway and they love musicals, at least the ones in New York City

do. But they're, they like all the new ones, six, you know, and Hamilton and everything. And I'm like, I'm not even a new one, MJ. Not even new. But to me, I'm like, give me the music man. Give me the old shit. And that's what we got to do on Jackin, which was, which was very fun. But yeah, I mean, musical can span the range of, like, very devastating. This week I'm going to go see Les Mis at Radio City, and I can't wait. I'm going to cry and cry. See, it is really crazy because MJ and I learned so quickly on Jackin that MJ and I have a complete love of musicals, but we have a Venn diagram,

and the only one that's in the middle is Le Miz. And MJ loves everything that is, like, Like from the days of your... Yeah, you're like Carousel. Well, that girl gets slapped. Have you seen Carousel? Because that shit's crazy. MJ loves to be close.

The girl gets slapped. I heard them say this before. If the woman is being treated poorly, that's my era of musical. That's why I love Lame Miss. I mean, there's multiple women being treated poorly in Lame Miss. But... Yeah, and Jackie is more of like a theater kid who's learning the new musicals in high school musical theater kid.

wicked Yes You know My rent Last five years Avenue Q You know It's like

There's a lot There's many different kinds of But there's also like The random songs from like districts And things like that Do you remember

Taylor the Latte boy No There was this one song That I was obsessed with That it was Taylor The Latte boy Yes

Bring me Java Bring me joy And I wanted To see sing that but I also don't even know where Taylor the Latte boy comes from hell I think it comes from him and I was obsessed with that song and it's sung by Kristen Shenowitz but when and where all over and whenever it stands on its own apparently yes what a like a weird timeline to be living in the time with this person she can yodel she's like five feet tall yes an enigma yes but also

don't look into her politics and we do say that often here on page seven. There are many people. Don't look into their politics. Is she flat earth? You know, honestly, I think I'd like her more if she was. That would be better. That would be better.

I'd prefer that. I'd be like, oh, she just don't know, huh? Rather than, oh, she just might be a little bit evil. But sometimes we like our icons a little bit evil, right? Just like Taylor says, I like my friends canceled. She likes her friends canceled, Amber. And I don't want to jump the shark here because you had a Taylor Swift blind, like an item on there. Oh, with Sidney's Jimmy.

Oh, yeah. We're talking about evil. I think that if we were evil panties, the story of the week is evil panties. If we were, I first of all I'm going to say, I'm one of those people who hates that word. And I know that there are many of us. Yeah. Moist Panties. Yeah, I'm one of those people.

I'm going to call it underwear and you can't make me say panties That's the last time I'm going to say it. That was it. That's all we get. All right. Enjoy it, boys. I really do. Sidney's sweetie is all over the blind items and I'm not even including it in these blinds

so I'm just going to tell you before we talk about this underwear story because one of the blind items is that someone is trying to sabotage Zendaya and everyone thinks it's Scooter Braun. What is he doing to her? See, here at page 7, Amber, I need you to know we pray upon the pedestal that is Tom Dea. I really love Zendaya and Tom Holland's love. I really, I feel that Zendaya is an artist. I really love Zendaya so much.

Yeah. And I have kind of been losing myself in when everyone was really getting the fervor for the Taylor Swift, Travis Kelsey wedding. I was just getting more annoyed with it and more like, but Zendaya got married to Tom Holland and nobody knew about it and isn't that awesome. And again, I know we're not supposed to compare them. I know. But we're talking about two huge mega stars getting married, okay? And I'm just saying it's interesting to notice.

And if you were going to make like a murder board with Taylor Swift and Zendaya, who allegedly, you know, don't really. have anything to do with each other. I do think Sidney's dating Scooter Braun comes in here, right? Because the reason that this became, and I do believe that Sidney is going to try to sabotage Zendaya because I do believe that Sydney Sweeney is in the evil category. Evil. She's hot though. She's hot, but she's evil. I don't know if you've

looked into or have heard anything about the world of Sydney Sweeney. Literally Scooter Braun is an evil warrior of music. Was he with Kesha? I mean, he... That was a different... That's different. Different guy, different bad man. Different bad man.

Different bad man. Different allegations. Different gations. Different gations, different badmen. Different, but similar in the, I think... And though we don't like him, we do not trust him. He's gross. People hate Scooterbron because he seized all of the masters from Taylor Swift,

thus preventing her from, you know, you know, the... Taylor's version when she got them back. Like, then she was making Taylor's version because she was. refuse to interact with him. But now Sidney Sweeney, who is evil and like with the whole like American Eagle thing, you know, it's like a sheet. Yeah. And then she created this panning company called Searn.

But it is siren. It is, it is pronounced siren. But here on page seven, we only refer to it as seer. Sear. One of the panty says, but daddy, I love him. Yes. And I don't like that sentiment. I feel like a young girl wearing these panties

should not be dating. It seems like, oh, it's okay to date a creepy older man. When you should date someone your age, and if you're in high school, you should not be having sex because you're a child. You know, who's dating a creepy older man? Sidney Sweetie. Scuder Braun is 40.

Sydney Sweetie is, you know, she's old enough to date a 40-year-old. She's in her mid to late 20s, whatever. But I so agree with you, Amber, that I think she's advertising these underwear as panty packs. say it again. Panny packs with some of my little sayings. Pandy packs with some of my little sayings. And the little saying is, but Daddy, I love him, which is very obviously. Taylor Swift, Eric. That just means like it's a bad man that your father's like, I don't want you to date him and you should listen to your father. You should listen to your father here. But Amber. Originally it's a little mermaid reference, isn't it?

It is. But also, but Daddy I Love him is a song by Taylor Swift. And it is off of the tortured poet's apartment album that she put out. So also, this is a backdoor where she's just like, did you see an idea there? Like her with her stern panties? She's like, but did you see, I can put, but daddy, I love him on there. And I can do that. And so she's doing it in a way to be like, I'm dating the boy that you don't like. And now I'm putting the name of your song on my fucking panties.

That just seems like such a lot of emotion and drama. that I would just be like, okay, have fun with your panty line. I'm going to be a billionaire getting married to a man I love. Exactly. Like who gives the shit? Exactly. Like Taylor Swift will be fine, but at the same time, I do think it's gross to basically Siddy Sweetie is trying to monetize a lyric from a Taylor Swift song to be like,

my boyfriend stole your masters. It's just, it's so yucky. Part of me that has been making fun of the Taylor Swift wedding. of course does find it a little cheeky, and I'm not talking cheeky panties. I do feel it is a little like, you know, if it wasn't Sidney Sweeney and Scooter Braun doing it, I'd be like, eh, yeah, like if it was like Charlie,

like if it's Charlie XX, X, X, X, X, make it, but you know what, Charlie would never do something like that. She would never do something like that, because she wouldn't even stoop to that level, because this is a thing, Sydney, Sweeney, this is just weird, mean girl behavior, as you're partnered up with Scooter Braun and what is, like, who is this look for?

I guess it is for, like, the haters that are out there, I guess. It's for girls that are on Twitter that are still on Twitter posting anorexic memes. That's all that thing is. I had to get off that shit because it was just like anorexia, I'm not eating, I'm not eating, I'm just bedriding. I'm like, no, you should get up and lift weights and eat protein. Like, this is just bad, bad all around.

And I don't go. on Twitter anymore, so I know that it's kind of like a conservative wasteland on there, but I do feel like Sidney-Sweeney, I don't, I think that what's happened to her, my working theory, is what happens to a lot of people who like get canceled, which is that she was already, I think, ambiguously bad, like there was the whole picture of her with her Trump family, but we all kind of forgave that because like, that's your family. That's family. We don't know your politics. But then with that jeans ad that was like, my jeans are white. are white and they are good.

Some genes are better than others. Some genes are, yes. And when a bunch of people were like, this seems like a little eugenic and, you know, she could have been like, oh God, I didn't realize that. It's not meant to be that way. But instead, she was just like, oh, you're mad.

You're mad. And like, yeah. And I think that when, I think that that, since then we have seen the doubling down and the defensiveness, which is what happens to a lot of people who are like not necessarily actively trying to be evil and then they're called out and then they're like, you know what? I will be evil because you told me not to be a eugenicist and now I'm just going to be one anyway, just to prove you wrong. Yeah. And that's, I think that that's, I think that we

get this from so many pop culture figures who are like, they get so defensive if they're corrected about something because everyone's upset about cancel culture that then they just lose their mind and they start making like, I don't know what Sidney, Sweeney believed in the first. place, but now she has defined herself as being like a pop culture troll, which is such a weird place to be when you're a very talented, beautiful young actor. Well, talented is. I mean, she's talented and beautiful. Like, there's no need for any of that. Like, she could just work and that, that's okay. Gorgeous. I don't need to know anything about your politics. I said, I would say that for anybody. Also, just in case, if you were wondering with the Scooter Braun thing, I just wanted to remind everybody

that it wasn't even that eventually Taylor Swift did buy them back. like the rights, like her master's back from Scooter Braun. Scooter Braun sold them to somebody else and then Taylor Swift was able to go and buy them. And like that even just alone, regardless of whatever you feel about billionaire Taylor Swift, that's so annoying. Like that's just such like, why are you acting like this? It's so all of it. It's so petulant.

It's just so like, who's got the time for this stuff? It's king shit, look at me. And it's the reason why clowning is coming back. I mean, I love clowning. When we were first doing clowning, it was like, how to express words with your body, how to find your inner child. And now it's a lot of, because I've done a lot of clown shows as a stand-up, it's a lot of mommy-mommy-mob look at me.

And there's no real punchline and there's no real articulation with your body. It's just how can I be loud and how can I be annoying? And I just see that in every facet of entertainment right now. is driving me crazy. And I think that you have to pick a side. I don't even be like, you have to pick a side. You have to be explicitly, like, affirmatively on the right side of things, which obviously I do like in a celebrity.

But I think that Scooter Braun and- Correct side of things, yeah. Yeah, the correct side. But I think Scooter Braun and Citi, also they're in cahoots with Bezos, you know, like they love, she's trying to work with Bezos to get her CERN out and everything. And there's a bunch of blind items about how they're all hanging out together all the time. So I think that just they have chosen aside. He's got to sleep together?

Do you think they've been a three-way with Jeff Bezos, his wife and Sydney? I'm sure, no, I'm sure she's cocked Bezos before, though. I imagine. Oh, I put him a strap on? Yeah, that, no, no, just have him watch. I think that he's just sitting off. He's like, I'm on my mega yacht and I'm going to watch with my binoculars. And I feel like that's the only way that he can even get a semi, you know?

I feel like that he's just only Al dente. you know Bezos ain't hard as a diamond. Oh, because whenever you can get anything you want, it's just kind of like, well, what makes me hard now? Right. Probably someone who doesn't want to be there. Yay! Yay!

See, this is a perfect time for me to start talking about being a Taco Bell influencer. Because there was somewhere where I didn't want to be last week, and that was in the toilet bowl. And I had to cancel D&D this weekend because I was having too much of an experience. And I will, it's fascinating because within the week, it is obviously Taylor Farms,

which is like a conglomerate of lettuces and poo veggies, right? And pooh-poo fruits that are out there. And they work with a bunch of different organizations and FDA through Taco Bell under the bus and was like, it's all Taco Bell. and then Taco Bell came out and was like, we were used as a scapegoat. It is not just us,

but it was very funny because in our D&D chat, I was asked if I had had Taco Bell. And I appreciated our friend Max responded with to ask a snack fluencer if she partook in the bell is to question an eagle as to why it flies. And I just wanted to throw that out there as a thank you because I felt supported. And Amber, I also felt supported by you as well.

I'm sorry, Jackie, if I wasn't as supportive. I was just kind of laughing. No, I mean, that's why we can laugh at Amber. Because Jackie got the poo-boo bug. Oh, I know. I know. She's a bobo-a-no-no-to-head. And, you know, the Taco Bell jokes write themselves, obviously.

Everybody gets diarrhea after Taco Bell, whether or not there is cyclosporus there, you know. So I think that it was an easy scapego. How are you going to tell if it's the Taco Bell that gave you diet? area, you know, if it's the lettuce. But also, I think the biggest takeaway from this is that Whole Foods and Taco Bell lettuce all come from the same place. It's all the same lettuce. Y'all. It's all the same thing. It all has the same shit on it. Exactly. You don't spend. You don't need to go to the Whole Foods. It's the same as the friggin Walmart. So it's all the same lettuce. The human shit is going to be on it no matter how much money you spend on it. There you go. Also,

not to sound like a Debbie Downer, but even farmer's markets, because I've gotten there early before. And there's also been a Dateline investigation where I personally saw them just remove Whole Foods lettuce, put it in a bin and then charge it twice as much. And there was also a Dateline documentary on this where they will just go to Whole Foods or

go to Ralph's or whatever, Kroger, and then get the lettuce. You're coming in hot with the anti-farmer's system. And then get it and then put it right there. I believe you, Amber, but anti-farmers... This really feels like something that like someone's mom would send in the chain letter.

Right, right, right. Got to send it to three more people or we're all going to get diarrhea. You got to do it. I'm not saying every farmer does that. But we're just there. You were saying that you watched a date light about it. There you go.

I just think that I've heard that it's actually better to go to the farmer's markets because it might be less human waste to just openly smeared on the outside of the husks of the corn. It's not every farmer, but like in the Hollywood Farmer's Market. Oh, because they're...

Oh, that I believe. Right. Oh, do we? Do we believe it? Especially the Hollywood Farmer's markets here. I mean, it's there. You go to be seen. Jeremy Ellen White goes to our farmer's market. You know what I mean?

You know, it's the bear all over that market. And I'm like, hey, he could be more bear. He's attractive. That's inappropriate to say. That's an inappropriate thing for me to say to a human being. Is he single? He's very divorced. He's very divorced.

He looks very sad about it too. And there's lots of pictures of him shoved into the tiny train on the farmer at the farmer's market with the sad kids. Not that the kids are sad. He just looks sad. So I imagine the kids are also like, why is Papa always frowning? But it's because he has to end. People are like, but don't you see he goes to the farmer's markets and he buys.

Oh my God, look at this groundbreaking, unique, different man. He's a man that buys flowers for his home every week. And it is funny how often I see the headlines that are people are like, where is he bringing the flowers for? What are the flowers? Oh, the flowers. And it's like, I think he's just buying flowers for his home. Yeah, yeah.

Well, guys can like flowers. Yeah. Is it gay to like flowers? Yes, that one's promise. He's just so divorced. and his ex has made like very pointed posts about how divorced they are and how much parenting she's doing. And speaking of divorce, I need to know you guys, if you spend your whole life married to Hugh Jackman and you love him despite his proclivities for men, you spend 25 years with him. And then he goes and plays Harold Hill on Broadway as the music man, which is one of the best musicals in my opinion.

and then he falls in love with somebody else from the music man. Sutton Foster. And then Deborah Furness is that's her name. Deborah Lee Fernis is texting with Sutton Foster. Ferris, please. I say her whole name with the respect with which it deserves. I'm sorry. Think of what Liza put up with, right?

In talking about the Liza Minnelli book, think of how much she put up with that. But Jackman's wife put it up with it for like, three times as long. Yeah, and she was more famous than him when they first started off. Yes, and now not so much. Really? Yeah, in Australia. Oh, okay. Australian famous. Well, she's very nice because she's texting with Sutton Foster about his health problems. And that's very sweet to me because when you get to be a certain age, you have to keep up about the health problems with your partner. And I think, I mean, this is presented as like a nice feel-good story, but also it's like slightly devastating.

where she's just like, yeah, he left me after 27 years. I guess I'll still help with his medical conversations. No, I'd be like, I hope he dies. Yeah, right? You could die on stage, I don't care. But then this is, it is a beautiful. I'm sure it's wonderful. That's just how I would be.

Or is he? Or is he? Or is he? You know, because if you think about it, it seemed like he turned in his old beard for a much younger model, and I think that that's not fair. If you're already set up as the beard, you want to be the beard for life.

He's the beard of the mother of his children. You know what I mean? Like that's the beard you keep. I do hate to speculate about someone's sexuality. We've been speculating about this. This is since the beginning of time, MJ. It's just one of those like a genre where there's just so many blinds and so much chatter about it that it almost is just an open. of time. And it's not even one of those

because a singing man can't want a woman. Like it's it really is, it's beyond that at this point guys. Right. It's all kind of that it's been said about John Travolta, the mouth that has been said about Hugh Jackman. And again, we're not even saying this as long as everybody

is consenting and as long as everybody is of age and as long as Deborah Lee Furness you knew what you were giving your life to. Have that? Never give your life for a partner. I don't know. I love this. Never do that. Never ever. What if he's Hugh Jackman, though? What if he becomes Wolverine? No. Not worth it. What if he's Harold Hill? I like, I just love the idea of being swept up in the onstage romance of The Music Man, which is a musical, I think, written in the 1920s about a small river city in Iowa. And do I think Robert Preston is very sexy in it? Yes, but it is a hilarious musical to fall in love to because it's very corny.

MJ became the music man on Friday night. Like I, we watched them, we got them so drunk that they became Harold Hill on Friday night. Are you familiar with the music man? Like MJ, it's MJ's favorite musical. It's my husband's favorite musical. I've never seen it. I, I've only heard. And then both of you will bring up the word trouble.

And then both of you will like jump into the trouble and run trouble. I don't know the song. We should watch it. Capital T and that rhymes with P. And that stands for a pool. It's about a moral. panic, you guys. It's a culturally relevant text. And that's obviously what you're

experiencing, where he was interested in another woman and he didn't understand. Oh, is it, MJ, is it one of those like old-timey pieces that couldn't be done today? Because it's just too woke. Like, I saw Metropolis like the other day and I was like, oh, this could not be done today. Because it was all about... I was actually

thinking about that with, with the music man because it's like, it's almost like you need a collective agreement that there is such a thing as a scammer. And I think in this society, we're so fragmented that we couldn't even have like a, like a near universal experience of like what a scam artist looks like. But in the music man, it's just like, oh, this is a scammer of creating a moral panic. And everybody falls for it. But like, we can all agree that that's what's happening. And I think that actually we're,

I don't know if it could be made today for. Oh, Bitcoin Man. Just called Bitcoin Man. There you go. That's, oh man, that's how you make the more updated version of. this. That's what you do. You'd be like, oh, it's like, yeah, yeah. No, it's an image. An image of what? It's the image of a monkey. It's an N. Ferect. Yeah, exactly. Is it A.I? Or is it an A.I. Oh, my God. And also, when you brought up Metropolis, I thought you were bringing up

Megalopolis, which was the movie that Francis Ford Coppola made a couple of years ago. And I was like, unfortunately, that was made a couple of years ago. But I'm glad that that's not what you were spending your time watching. Metropolis is there's two different societies. They haves and they have nots. And basically the have-nots rise up. You could not make that today with the way it's done. And it would just be called too woke.

But this was done in the 1920s, late 20s or like 30s? This is really hearkening me back to the Jenner's book. I believe it was called The City of Idra. I remember that I did the audio book for it on our Patreon. The Jenner's quote unquote wrote a book, Kylie and Kendall Jenner. like 10 years ago and they definitely didn't but it was um that tale as old as time yeah where it was like the people underneath and then the people up top and i uh remember specifically thinking why are kiley and kendall jenner writing about a rise up of the people from below you'd think that's not

what they would want to happen but you know they didn't write it in the first place so it didn't really matter a ghostwriter did it maybe a ghostwriter they worked with a ghostwriter It is called Rebels, City of Indra. And I wonder if they felt as if they were the downtrodden because they were like the younger siblings in the Kardashian family. It wasn't about class. You know, it was about their own personal experience. That's what it was. I wish I got peed on.

Why didn't I get peed on? Oh, mommy. I wish Army Hammer's daddy brought his chair over to our house. But we're not talking about Army Hammer and his family and his daddy's sex chair right now. No. We are busy talking about What was the name of the song that you were so excited, MJ? At the end of the stream,

I believe I wrote down, Fingers Get to Fiddling is what I drunkenly thought it was called at the end of the stream. What was it? It's called Fit as a Fiddle. And it is from the 1952 musicals Singing in the Rain, heard of it. I love singing in the rain.

Thank you. It is, I think, one of the best musicals. And Fit as a Fiddle is a Bit a deep cut because it's like a montage of the main characters rise in vaudeville and yes i was threatening everyone saying you can't not have fun when you listen to fit as a fiddle um but you know i i just i j got scared like as the music man it was a side of mj i didn't expect and i loved to see it like i need everyone to know if you enjoy jack and we are going to have another broadway night we have to uh we definitely have to we're going to have next time please please please

Just for like an hour. Please, because next time, whenever Holden is out of town, the second he's holding out of town, we're going to be doing another Broadway night. You know, speaking, like a, not fun fact, but a fact about singing in the rain is Sid Chorice, the woman in the green dress and that beautiful, iconic dance number. Her husband previously pushed her down a flight of stairs,

and she broke her back. And then the director was like, Oh, this is a fun fact. Oh, was they on their honeymoon? Fun surprise, fun fact. And the director was like, well, you can audition. I mean, you have the role, but I don't know when you're with your back broken. You can just go in an audition with the rest of them.

So she stood in line, went to, like, just audition like a regular person with a back brace and was still so good she got the part. Whoa. That is fun. Yeah. Did you know this fun fact about the woman getting kicked down the flight of stairs? I thought I knew all the fun facts about Sagan and the Rain. For example, Debbie Reynolds hated it and was really scared of Gene Kelly. Gene Kelly was very sick during the filming of Sagan and the Rain.

I thought I knew all the fun facts. I did not know that spousal abuse, fun fact about Ced Chorice. It does explain why she doesn't move that much in that number, you know? She's pretty still. The brace that she had on. There's a lot of legs, a lot of leg kicking. A lot of legs. They're like, just keep it down there.

Just put the camera down there. Just don't show what's happening up here. She's going, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Old Hollywood was crazy. You guys should do a page seven for Old Hollywood, like Hollywood Babylon style. I think that this Liza conversation is really opening up a lot. I mean, a long time ago, MJ and I were talking about doing a whole series called Old Hottiewood. And I do think that there is room for that because it really is, we are talking about this with the Liza Minlea audiobook.

It's like every other line is another just lore drop. That is so crazy that they were they were fucking and sucking and snorting and drinking. Oh wow. Not lying, but like suppressing their nationality. I think Rita Hayworth, she was Latina. And she's like, well, I can't say that in old Hollywood or Hollywood at the time. So she's like, yeah, I'm white. It's ridiculous the things that people used to be put through and what they would be put under.

Abortion pills. Oh, yeah. And then just thrown away. and just really just used up and discarded. And in a way that I feel like we talk about this with our current society, but it was more hush, hush back then. And it was that nobody was talking about it.

And if you were talking about it, you better be doing it because we're not talking about it. And I feel like there was a lot of that going on. So I would love to explore more into the world of it just because all of it is upsetting. And I love to be upset. It's upsetting, but it's less upsetting than our current timeline. So it's like a little bit of a relief to me.

I don't know. Maybe it's not. Maybe obviously, I'm not one of those people that's like we should go back in time because everything was better. That would be yesteryear. And obviously, back then, many of the women didn't have the right to own a credit card and everything. So I'm not saying that everything was better back then.

You're right. Some of us are still living in the past, MJ, like Aziz Ansari, who doesn't have an email address or a smartphone. You know, some people have the privilege that they don't have to. And some people can liken this article. He can just call his wife. And his wife can give him directions. That seems like a lot of work for the wife.

No. Always. Get an email. Always. No, Amber. I'm busy. I'm busy. No, she's a data forensic scientist.

She's got the time. I think that she's ready to be his Google Maps. And I think this is good for her. Like maybe she'll get a couple of updates like a wife. should have. I wonder not to bring in an unpleasant subject. Oh, yeah. Yeah, MJ, another unpleasant subject.

That's my name. I wonder if this isn't because of Aziz's kind of like weird middling cancellation. Remember there was like around the 2017 stuff. There was like an article about a bad hookup with Aziz and sorry. And that that's why he's just like, you know what? How about I just don't look at anything?

I don't know. I mean, as you've ever had, I had an experience of getting attacked on the internet and it was so unpleasant that it changed my life. And so I wonder if that might be part of it for him. Like he says, like I don't, I don't have a flip phone. I don't want to look at what's going on, what the alerts are and stuff. You'd think if he really felt that way, then just you wouldn't want any of it anymore. You know what I mean? Like I feel like I totally. I totally. He's trying to have it both ways. Like, like, it's like, like, I totally. He's trying to have it both ways. It's like, like, be a famous star and then still not have to still rely on his wife to communicate everything to him. I totally agree with you that anybody who doesn't have a phone usually has somebody near them with a phone who's doing all the work. Somebody else is going to do it. Somebody's got to get a hold of you at some point. And I do feel that that is like, well, if you have an assistant, yeah, I guess you don't need to have a phone.

But think about the assistant and what the assistant has to go through. Then that's where I think that I know enough people that. also like work within that world of even just being assistance. And that makes me want to just like just I feel like as his wife, how does she never at some point he comes home after you haven't talked to him all day and she'd not just be like, get a phone, get a real phone. Like I feel like I at some point would have a complete mental breakdown of like, I can't do this for you anymore.

I can't be this for you anymore. I can't be the phone for you anymore. than I would just self-destruct. Would you say she's a data scientist? Yeah, she's like a forensic. Yeah, she's sitting around with her hand, thumb up her ass all day. Just waiting for that email. Hopefully my husband needs my help with something.

We get into this over on Who's the Bitch. I just needed to pepper it in just because it was one of those things. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, it's not, I feel like we want to see it as this like, yes, go off, King, good for you, like create boundaries, but all I see is all of the unseen labor that has to still be done around him that he doesn't have to deal with. A woman's devotional labor that he gets to kind of have cred for not dealing with, but somebody is dealing with it and it is either his wife or his assistant or both. But he also says that he

blocks all of the websites. That's what he says. I block all websites on my And that is something where it's tempting. But I do want to ask, like, the New York Times? Like, do you have any idea what's going on in the world? Because I feel like that's also, to be an actor that's just like, I don't want to engage with the world at all. I think that's kind of silly because your thing is that you're a study of human life, you know. Right.

Also, there's lots of stories about actors now who just keep Googling, like, reviews of themselves and getting sad. So from that point of view, I get it. I also, yeah, I mean, I don't want you. Sure to be doing that. Don't get lost in that kind of sauce, but get lost in a list kind of sauce. You know, MGA, you bring up a great point.

I'm sorry, we're moving forward. We were, but also, I'd like to hear what you were going to say. Because MJ said, you know, you're an actor, you're studying the world, and I said something earlier, I'd like to recant, I'm very, I would like to apologize. Oh, I don't, we have an apology. I want to hear your, I don't want to hear any politics from an actor, but maybe I should.

Maybe I do. Maybe I do. There are ways... I think if you're just like insufferable about it, I'm just kind of like, shut up and, read the script. Like, you're not a savior. But it's also, it's, it's a, it's a balance. You know, it is, it is a balance for all of them. And like, I do feel that it is dangerous,

at levels of danger for some that like, it's like, it would help if he said something. But then there's also, you know, there is the Sydney Sweeys of the, I'll never tell. That, like, also is that they, there, and the tailors that it's like, that's also that, like, That stuff is annoying I think that all of us are just so frustrated with so many things that we want a lot and we're not getting it. And I think that we put it on also celebrities of like, but yeah, you're not also say

there's a lot that we're upset about guys. You know what I mean? There's a lot. There's a lot. Take a deep breath. We'll all be okay. We haven't been pushed down the stairs by your husband. Not today. Re-audition. Not today. No, no, no, no, no. Get right back out there, boys. But now it is time for the list. Yes. Oh, who's on the list. Me. Jackie. Got to have that list.

Famous people who openly talked smack about other celebrities. Whoa, I love this. Yes. It is given tea and it is not all current tea. There's some older tea. Maybe I was inspired because of all the lies that we've been living in. It's steeped. Oh, bitch.

It's steeped. Elton John came for both Madonna and Keith Richards. The heated feud between John and Richards began in 1988 when Richards described John as a lovely bloke, but posing, to Rolling Stone. The pair has since exchanged a volley of snide remarks about each other over copious interview confessions through the years. In a 1997 Daily News interview, John revealed, I'm glad I've given up drugs and alcohol.

It would be awful to be like Keith Richards. He's pathetic, poor thing. It's like a monkey with arthritis, trying to go on stage and look young. I have great respect for the stones, but they would have been better if they had thrown Keith out 15 years ago. I just think he's an asshole. And I have for a long time.

Well, a monkey with arthritis. Specifically, I have. I've thought he's an asshole from the years 1988 to 1997 where I am rehashing this beef. He held on to that grudge for nine years. Nine years. He was holding on to it. Well, is Keith Richards an asshole, though? I'm sure.

Gotta be. Yeah, I mean, I imagine. I think that any person, like, especially a rock and roller such as them, I would assume you never have to really learn any lessons. Please and thank you. Right? No, I don't think the, I think you just go for it. But also, Richards isn't the only celebrity that John has openly shared his opinion on. At the Q Awards in 2004, Madonna and Elton John were both nominated for Best Live Act.

After winning the award, John dissed Madonna in his acceptance speech. He said, Madonna, Best Live Act, fuck off. Since when has lip syncing been live? Anyone who lip sinks in public on stage when you pay 75 pounds to see them should be Shot. Whoa. Thank you very much. Wow.

Yeah, dude. 2004, man. That is quite a thing to say. Yeah, I'm like trying to situate Madonna in 2004. 2003 was the kiss with Brittany at the VMAs, right? Yes. So this is, Madonna is still, I mean, she's not like 80s Madonna anymore, but she is still, she's out there. She's still big part of the pop.

She's music. the people all together, you know. Which is a squat challenge and which is hard to do. She was squatting while she's singing. Music. So you go down and then up and then squat and then squat and it's like it's a challenge.

Even people in their 20s are like, I'm having a hard time doing this and she was in her 50s. Something about squat challenge I think sounds a lot like what I was doing last week and I don't want any more of that okay. No, I'm good. I guess it's more of a squirt challenge. But I don't make those jokes.

I've been, I don't make shit jokes. I know, MJ, it's just been, I had to make the jokes. I had to make the jokes because I kept having to like quickly leave a room. And so I needed to make jokes because I was so like technically embarrassed that I had to make jokes through it. Because what are you going to do? You know, you're going to plume. That's what you're going to do. You're going to tell everybody.

Thank you, MJ, for understanding. Sharon Osborne talked sauce on Ashton Coucher. Osborne opened up to E-News when she was prompted to name the rudest celebrity she'd ever met. At first, Osborne couldn't remember his name. She said, the guy that's married to an actress and he used to do that 70s show. She puzzled, fishing for answers.

After confirmation that the guy was Ashton Cutcher, she went on to call him a rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, little boy. What? And a dastardly little thing. Didn't anyone ever tell Osborne that it's rude to forget someone's name, but also she wasn't even thinking about him.

Rude. Man, ahead of her time hating Ashton Couture because at this time, what did she say this? I feel like in the early, whatever, the aughts, it was, he was king shit. Like everybody was like, oh. He was with the trucker hats? Yeah.

The trucker hat. And then he was like speaking out against human trafficking. And everyone was like, what a good celebrity. He doesn't like human trafficking. And then they stood up for Danny Masterson. And then there was that. And there was the apology video.

I'm not surprised to hear that he's five rudes. I'm not surprised. He seems like he's five rudes deep. You're right. He does seem five rudes deep. And it has nothing to do really with the trucker hats, but does it? I don't know. It might.

And I'm not against a trucker hat. I like a trucker hat. There's something about the like the, Ed Hardy Trucker Hat version that was Ashton Cocher that I feel like a lot of us were triggered by

in multiple ways. I think it's, I shouldn't just assume the Ed Hardy about him, but I do kind of put it all in one little pool. The other thing that triggers me with like that fashion style is like the low cut shirt with the jewelry and all the rings.

Ah, yes. So like the pickup artist? Yes. That's what it screams to me. It screams, I have a 16-year-old in my phone that I can call up right now. She can't come in the bar because she's not legal, but I'll go home and fuck her. Consensually, of course. Yeah, yeah. Somewhere on the gender spectrum, there's those people. And then the like Ash and Coutcher in the early 2000s is like not there, but it's like over here. And the Ed Hardy hat is somewhere around. And, you know, I've known lovely men who wear an Ed Hardy hat. But we all, I think those of us who are young adults in the 2010s have a really. relationship with the Ed Hardy hat. We all do. Everyone has a story. I think a lot of us have at least one negative story with an Ed Hardy wearer. Yes, there was a guy with like Ed Hardy and like the description I just told you. And he was at the bar with his friend and they were on tender. So these men are in

their 50s and like no shame. You know, we're all going to. Yeah, go get yours. A blessing to turn 50. Right. But they were looking at specifically 21 year olds on tender and they were like, she has freckles. she's not a 10. And I'm like, sir, sir. She has freckles. She has freckles. She's not a 10. Yeah, she's 21.

That's hot prime age. And I was just kind of like, wow, these are two. Like, should I poison their drinks with bleach? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Not that we support that here on this show. We don't support murder here.

I just look at a 21-year-old. Anybody under 25? And I'm just kind of like, I hope you have a good day at school today. You go get them. Of course. No, that's, I'm, I know that men, that there are men that are like that. And I think I'm just blessed to have, like, to not have those people in my life. And then whenever I hear about an interaction like that, I'm just like, oh, no.

I know. Why are you doing that? Yeah. Yeah. Don't do that. We don't have to do that. We don't have to do that. There's women your age that are beautiful that you could look for.

Yeah. And, you know, freckles really, like, that, like, what does that take down? Does that make them an 8.5, like out the gate? Like, is this what, where do we, where are we starting with freckles? As someone I have freckles, but I guess you can't really see the freckles all the time. So, so does that mean that you're just going to leave me when you find the freckles later on? But, you know, we don't have to worry about that right now. We're too busy being back in the early 2000s between Kelly Osborne and Christina Aguilera

when they were highly vocal about their squabble. The squabble started back in the 2000s. 2000s when Osbourne went in on Aguilera. One of Aguilera's... One of Aguilera's... Aguilera? Aguilera. One of Aguilera's cap...

One of X-Tina's clapback tactics included chucking darts at a photo of Osborne at the 2003 MTV Europe Music Awards. Is this during when she did Dirty? And she had that black thing in her hair? There was that period. but then I also know that this was around the time period too where like there were lots of diva squabbles. So I imagine this was all lumped into the diva soup.

And of the many things Osborne had to say about Aguilera through the years, her comment about her body on an episode of fashion police was a low blow. Osborne exclaimed, maybe She's just becoming the fat bitch she was born to me. I don't know. She was a cunt to me. Whoa. Because there was a second ex-Tina, like, you know, your hormones come in factor.

And she, like, she wasn't the, like, dirty body size. She just had a different body type. A little bit bigger. She also was, like, not, you know, she was actually probably eating something. Not even, you know, it's like just there, like that dirty, if you think about that, like, think about that body standard that we were all compared to. Yeah. Like Jessica Simpson, Brittany Spear.

Everybody who has spoken about, I don't know if X-Dena has spoken about it, but every star from that time who has spoken about that time has described themselves as absolutely shackled with disordered eating. Like, yeah, Lady Gaga said that too. Yeah. I mean, I, you know, we talk sometimes when we watch Desperer Housewives about hearing people, hearing things from the early 2000s and being like, you know, a lot of times in 2026 we say we've kind of over-corrected for political correctness. And then you hear Kelly Asborne just being like, she's meant to be a fat bitch. And you're like, oh, aye, yeah, I'm glad. We've changed. Yeah, please don't say it like that.

We don't need to say it like this. But, you know, everybody, we're all growing in different ways. And are they growing in friendship or are they growing in hatred Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow? Because Martha Stewart talked smack about Gwyneth Paltrow. But Paltrow smacked back. What did they say? interview with Porter magazine, Stuart shared some candid advice for Paltro. Stewart admitted she just needs to be quiet.

She's a movie star. If she were confident in her acting, she wouldn't be trying to be Martha Stewart. She's not wrong. She ain't wrong, dude. She ain't wrong because she was going after like the lifestyle. But then the drama got culinary when the pair wrote retaliation recipes. targeted at one another. What?

In an issue of Martha Stewart Living, a feature on desserts titled Conscious Coupling was published. The story celebrated sweet treats with the perfect marriage of crust and filling. That is so shady. That is such a fucking shade. I know, dude.

The conscious coupling title was a jab at Paltrow's conscious uncoupling and separation from her husband, Chris Martin. Paltrow responded with a recipe for jailbird cake which she published in Goop as a subtle nod to Stewart's criminal pass at her five months stay in prison. I kind of love that feud. I think that feud is hilarious. I think it's wonderful.

That's like a fight to the death and see what happens. Like I'm obviously team Martha, but I don't mind if you each take each other down quite a lot because Martha's going to hold her own. And Goop needs to be taken down a peg. Again, go back to the disordered eating stuff. Jackie and I read her book. and it is maybe the most upsetting celebrity memoir that we read. Which is crazy because we also read, I'm glad my mom died. And so that's probably the most.

Probably that one's up there. Was Goop upsetting because it was like out of touch? I picture just being like completely out of touch. She's out of touch. She's she has just horrific. Like all of Goop is not only the body shaming part. Like the horrible, horrible politics around people of different sizes and stuff, but also like she like redirected like cancer patients towards like holistic stuff.

And in so many people were dying. Oh, many people. Like she is a date. Specifically like there's specific women named in the book who like rejected like medical treatment in to follow the goop path. And she knew that this stuff didn't work. She was just trying to get headlines and get people talking about her stuff. Could her, like, those families, like, sue her? Or, like, what is the, what is the freedom of speech?

What is the, what? Not really, because it's the same kind of thing as, like, saying, I looked something up online and then I followed it. You know, it's like, it's up to you whether or not, like, it is up to your choosing of whether or not you follow things. And there were no scientific findings on any of the things. So if you chose to follow that information, that's your choice. Like, there, that's.

Wow. Again, I'm bringing back my murder board. And it's like, if we have Maha here, it's like, like, Goop was like digging. And poop-poo vegetables. So you're talking about, yeah. We've got Mood Poo-Poo Vets. Those are intertwined, obviously. And Goup was paving the way towards Maha.

Like, I don't think she identifies as Maha, but like all of that, like, reject normal medicine and eat a lemon instead stuff. Flip the food pyramid. But I also think that her biggest mistake with Gwyneth, I think Gwinevichael's biggest. mistake was just naming it jailbird cake. I think you could have come up with a better joke. Yeah, I don't like that. I just feel like jailbird cake is just so,

it's like, I imagine her just being like, make it, I don't know, jailbird cake. You know, it's like that's the first thing that she said and would not be rewritten. Right, well, she's not funny. Martha Stewart can be funny. It is fun. Martha Stewart is funny.

Yeah. Martha Stewart is very funny because we've also done like research into, a while ago we did a pop history into Martha Stewart. Martha Stewart is a genius, really, in how she crafted her career. I also feel like her making fun of like the phrase conscious uncoupling and then Gwyneth Paltrow just being like, you went to jail. It reminds me of like Tobias Fuenke in Arrested Development when he's like, oh, I'm sorry,

your wife is dead. You know, like it's like, I don't know, I feel like bringing in jailbird is just like, you went to prison. It's like not as fun as. Being like conscious a couple, I guess. And she used it as a part of her career. And now like it's not something. I mean, she pivoted with it.

Yeah. It's brilliant. She did a thing with Snoop Dog. Yes, exactly. Now she does a lot with Snoop. And, you know, Martha ain't going nowhere ever, you know. But I, that's going to be it for my list and everybody going after each other. Oh, well, that's great because Martha may not be going anywhere.

My eyesight is going somewhere. I think I'm going blind. Items. Oh, you want to say it with me? Yeah. Oh, we can't see them. I like it. You didn't know what you were going to say, but I like that you said it with me.

Yeah, sweet. That was a good yes and improv. Improv. You learn from those improv classes. Oh, Zab. Zab. All. Okay.

Blind number one. This A plus list, and this harkens back to an earlier conversation, this A plus list director told interviewers that he avoids owning a smartphone to escape the pressures of digital addiction. The truth is, though, that he does not have a phone, that he does have a phone, and he scrolls for hours looking at what people are saying about his latest project. Christopher Nolan. Yeah. Gotta be the Nolan, Natta.

And if you want to hear, I have many thoughts on The Odyssey. Come hang out during Second Helpings. Unfortunately, MJ, you're going to hear, I've been watching a lot of Christopher Nolan movies this week, and you are going to hear a lot about Christopher Nolan and my thoughts. It looks cool. It's very cool. And I'm not,

I've never been like, Anola Natat, number one. But I finally was like, you know, everybody says these movies are pretty good. So I've been watching some of them. And I'm like, wow. What did you do like Batman?

It was not pretty good. Yeah, but it's like, yeah, like Interstellar. Love Interstellar. Because like I had just seen Oppenheimer when it came out a couple of years ago and I was just like, meh.

And so I, but I'd never, but I loved Memento. So I'm, so we're watching, I'd never seen Interstellar. And I love the prestige. So we're going to rewatch the prestige. Tonight, I've never seen Inception. So we're going to watch Inception. That's great. These are, like, I want to watch some of the ones that people are like,

this is the Nolanette, Taw, you know, and I'm trying to see. I'm trying to see what he's putting out there, MJ, Amber. Yeah, you're trying to get closer to the mind of Zendaya and I support that for you. Thank you for understanding really why I'm doing this. And it was to see what was, because there was this like viral video of Zendaya who loves Christopher Nolan and Interstellar specifically so much that she was like drawing on a piece of cardboard to Hunter Schaefer sitting on the floor of her living room explaining the movie to Hunter Schaefer because she loves it so much.

And I was like, I guess I should see this movie. Because, like, Timothy Shamma, ding-dong, was always saying, oh, that was my favorite of the movies that I've done. So I was like, I guess I should check these out. But check out Second Helppings if you want to hear some Nolenaeta conversation. Blind number two. Yikes. Our guy looks bad, and there is no two ways about it.

He's blamed his gaunt and unhealthy appearance on the usual exhaustion. But that's not the entire story. You see, he recently started seeing someone who he's very attracted to and their sexual chemistry is off the charts. He's into kinky sex and so is his new girlfriend. Unfortunately, though, this gal is bad news and has gotten our guy hooked on the high of prescription pain killers. No, Liza.

Speaking of Liza Minnelli, he's popping pills like breathmints and they're tizzy to-in his appearance. Friends, family, and coworkers are worried and recently held an intervention. He has agreed to enter rehab just as soon as there's a break in his hectic schedule. Now, I'm going to say I'm pretty confused about his hectic schedule because I don't know what he's working on right now, nor do I know what he's worked on in the past several years.

This is a big star from the 90s and early 2000s. I think it's not Seth Rogan, but his friend that was in Wolf of Wall Street. Wolf or Wall Street guy who was kind of big. Henry Zabrowski. Henry Zabrowski. And he was also in like... Leonardo DiCaprio? The brothel.

John Bernthal. He was in like a lot of Superbad. Fatty. Yeah, fatty. Super bad. Jonah Hill. Jonah Hill. I shouldn't say fatty.

Because he's not a fatty anymore. He's like lost a lot of. I'm going to try to think. Who's gone now? Okay. So it's a good guess. A lot of weight and not in, I'm not saying that in a positive or negative way. He just has lost a lot of weight and he does not look the same.

No. Observing without judgment. It's not him. Oh, it's not him. That was a good. That was good. That was a good guess. You are in the right era.

Okay, so the biggest way that I would say that I could hint this is that there was a big, he, this actor recently appeared at like a public speaking engagement and he looked so different that people were so confused. It started a whole conspiracy theory about why he looked so different. Is this ringing any bells, Jackie? Nope. Pete Davidson? Not Pete Davidson. And people thought that it was not him speaking because he looked so different. And then we were like, it's just him, but he's older.

He has such an expressive face. Jim Carrey. Yes. But you're not talking about his butt. And I, uh, I, uh, I. Jim Carrey likes kinky sex. Apparently. It's like finding out my dad likes kicking sex.

It is. It is. Wait, you have no kiss. You don't want to kiss on. Jim Carrey at all? No. I don't want to kiss on Jim Carrey at all either. No. Like, never, you've never, you've never wanted it? Never wants. And you're talking to someone whose favorite movie, my favorite movie on Earth was Ace Ventura until I had to put it in the trash can because of the fundamentally transphobic premise. But I love Jim Carrey. But what about

the second one with the guano? Is that one still? I never liked the second one. I always thought the second one was not as good as the first one. But it's a shame that's all we have a I know in the second one. Right. I know. It's all we have left of the Ace Ventura franchise, and I'm very sad about that. But never once have I wanted to kiss him, not in liar, liar, not in the mask. You can get a Natalie Jean in here.

I had no idea that it was just me and Natalie that wanted to kiss on Jim Carrey. I didn't know that this was a cissy's kiss in over here. I didn't know that this is what we were experiencing by ourselves. I always wanted to kiss Jim Carrey. I didn't like lust for him in the same. Like I wasn't cutting out his face the way I was with like you and McGregor, but I definitely lusted for him. And I love that he wants kinky sex that, oh, that Canadian bad boy.

Yes, his girlfriend is Minna, who is a singer, I guess. And apparently she loves to have fun sex, but also apparently she loves painkillers, allegedly. Oh, because that's why she's being killers. Allegedly. Crazy sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it makes it more fun, you know? Maybe it makes it more, I don't know. I think I'm bad and dead. Why do you say that? Oh. I had sex recently.

Whoa, congratulations. Congratulations. Or is that kind of the same thing as like with wait now. Do we not say it's like if someone had sex, do you not say congratulations? Do you wait and feel like why? where and which was the sex? How was like, do we not just immediately say congratulations? Do we also go, I'm sorry?

Oh, right, right. Like, do I also say, I'm sorry that you just had sex? Yeah. No, it had been so long and like your body needs human touch and I like went on a date and I was just like, well, all right, you know, and then it was rip off the bandaid. It was just not. Reset the clock.

I don't want to like get into detail. You weren't you saying you weren't good though. You know what, you're right. I bet the other person wasn't good. I just didn't enjoy. Like, I'm like, am I asexual? Like, am I? Because it's all the spectrum.

Oh, we could, I know that this isn't the place, but I would genuinely, I think, off Mike, I would love to talk to you about this because I think that this is, you know, especially when you're getting back into banging again and it's like finding that again. Because I haven't done it in so long. But it's finding yourself again. Yeah. It really is also like, what do I like? What do I like when I'm with another person?

Like, it is, you know, there's so many. things to think about and to discuss with yourself before going back into that. And I feel like we can have a really great friendship conversation about this. Right. When the cameras are off. Yeah. Sorry. Put a pin in it.

Put a pin in it. No sorries. This is good. We need to be talking about this. This is human interaction, Amber. Right. This is what we're all, like so many people are missing that, you know, and it's just us talking about this stuff.

Because all my friends are married. So I'm like, oh, I can't bring this up around them because they won't get it. They won't like it. I'm married, but I love talking about it. It will chat. Married people would love to talk about this. I think that that's absolutely, they would be thrilled. And, you know, we wish Jim Carrey a lot of fun having sex, but we also wish him a healthy relationship with pills, which sounds like is not a relationship at all.

So, Godspeed, Jim Carrey. Blind number three, this show has been on forever and is still quite popular, despite the fact that it stars, or in this case, co-hosts, literally despise each other. Sure, on camera, they act like they're all chummy, chummy, but, but, you know, it's been on But behind the scenes, it's a completely different story. One of the stars recently made a very off-color comment that didn't sit well with the others, and producers feared it would somehow leak out and turn into a public relations disaster. They shelled out a seven-figure bonus to buy the silence, and in the process made everyone sign a new set of NDAs forbidding them from ever discussing anything that happens behind the scenes.

Euphoria? The view. Yes. Much less cool than Euphoria. It is. It must be so difficult right now to have them on every single day with all these parameters of what they can and cannot speak about. Who doesn't like you? In this political climate.

I mean, nobody likes Whoopie, right? And Whoopi hates all of them. I'm pretty sure. And Whoopi is a real wildcard. Like back from when I used to watch what you, it's like 25% of what she says makes total sense. And is like an astute, like, observation. and then 75% is like, what are you saying? Wild girl.

But what's wild about this is that the off-color comment described that set off-color comment described that set off this whole hubbub in the blind item is, I think, the extremely reasonable comment by Sonny Hosten, who is black, who said that she sometimes feels unsafe if she's in a neighborhood with a bunch of American flags, which makes total sense and is not an off-color comment at all. all, but apparently that set off. Sadly, not inflammatory statement, I feel like that is just, I think that is just a personal statement.

And she said that she even said, this is not a new conversation in the black community. I'm not the first person to say this, but apparently behind the scenes, because I don't even know who they're like resident conservative is right now. Joy Behar has always identified as like a kind of classic old liberal, but I think that because of the way that politics have evolved, now Joy, Joy. are like, what are you talking? Pronouns. You know, I don't know if she's like that.

But I think that she's like one of those kind of people who's like struggling to keep up maybe. And then, yeah, I don't know who the conservative is. They always have like, you know, the Elizabeth Hasselback or whatever. But it sounds like. According to this is Alyssa Farah Griffin and Anna Navarro or the designated conservative co-host in ABC's The View. But again, this is AI telling me this. So I don't know because I don't currently watch the view. I haven't watched The View in a long, long, long time.

And I can imagine. We used to watch it almost every day. Like, remember back when we first were doing page seven, I was on like a, like, I went to the view and I got chosen to like introduce a segment. And I, like, that's how much I loved the view. And it really, I mean, also I think it is just the falling off of watching morning television that I just lost. Yeah, who gets up? I can't. I mean, I also am not getting up to watch television.

And if I am, it's desperate housewives. But it's such a quaint idea. Like, let's all just sit around and talk about the news. And then in 2026, that's obviously like a nightmare. Yeah. So apparently it's just told not my friend. That it still exists. Yeah, I can't believe that it's still on.

Yeah, I know. Poor, poor Sunny. And, yeah, whoopee. I mean, yeah, the last time I was watching The View was 2008. That is almost 20 years ago. She's just a 20 year in that chair. Oh, my God. She's been sitting in that chair for 20 years.

Yeah. And Joy Behar's been there the whole time. I'm sorry I suggested earlier that Joya Bihar isn't woke. I don't know. I just feel like I see her every so often being like, you know, what are these young people talking about? I don't know. But I imagine it's tough for her. It's going to be tough for me if I'm talking about popular stuff when I'm that age.

I'm not going to be. Can you imagine being in your 70s and being like being asked to speak freely in front of millions of people? It's like that's got to be very scary. Like no one's putting a microphone in front of Barbara Strauss. rise and you know what I mean like it's like there honestly it I think a lot of us listening to the Liza Minnelli audiobook and also coming to terms with the fact that a lot of people said that it was AI and then we have gone through the whole gamut of like oh my god maybe it's not AI and is this just like the the doddering way an older person would say this story but we're really trying

to figure that out um but I can't believe that the view is going to be on for me much longer, right? I think it will be a casualty of the 2020s. That's my prediction. Maybe it'll be like the substance and it'll be replaced with. God, I was just thinking about the substance yesterday. I said to Jeff that I was like, I feel like I was in the pathor I had just taken off all my clothes and I was like, I feel like I'm in the before times of the substance.

And I'm waiting for the substance to kick in. Can I claw my way out of my old body please? You're not old. Nobody hears old. We've mentioned a few times. I know. I know. No, I know. We're not. We're still alive. Joy Behar. She's young and vibrant. Well, I don't know if Joy is young and vibrant.

I know. I got to stop talking about how old I am. That is. But I just, you know, it's something that we're all adjusting to. I'm like, what do you mean the last time I was young and unemployed and watching the view? was 18 years ago. That's impossible. That's crazy, you know. But just think of how much Liza had already gone through in her early 20s, you know? I just, I really, this audio book has really had quite the stronghold on both MJ and I's brain.

I don't know if you can tell. Well, Liza Minnelli, her father was gay. He was a choreographer. And then her mother was. Father Joe, although not according to the book, just a director, a musical director. Just a musical director. With a roommate. Amber.

And her mother was, God, Judy Garland. Judy Garland. So, like, yeah, your childhood's going to be kind of fucked up. Yeah. Very fucked up. And Judy Garland's mother was mean.

Yeah. I'm apparently mean. I bet. It seems it. Yeah. But I can see again, Jackie. I can see. Welcome back to the world of the seeing.

And welcome back to the world of the snacking. Because it is time. Jackie Snacky. Amber, I'm going to say it in the beginning of this because now you get to hear the Snacky song, which you never got to hear before. And it's about to drop. I've been a Snacky girl. Snacky. I've been a snacky girl.

Snacky. I've been a snacky girl. Snacky. I've been a snacky, snacky, snacky. Is somebody going to eat those chips? Is somebody going to dip those dips? Is somebody going to try those candies? I got seminar.

They say I'm a snack lead. Who's singing this? Somebody else. Not me. Somebody else. Thank you so much. Did you enjoy the Snacky's theme song? I wanted to have something special for Amber today.

And I know you're my savory gal. And I was trying to find something that we hadn't had before. I didn't want to just bring you a chip. I didn't, you know, we're new to being on film for Jackie Snackies. So I unfortunately asked Adam, our producer, during the show, to go upstairs and microwave for us. Some. Chili? Flying it in it in.

What is this? Wow, there's a Tupperware. It's in a Tupperware. It's canned Wendy's chili. Did you know that they have started selling canned Wendy's Chili? You've seen it. I, you know, I thought about Amber. And I thought Amber doesn't want me bringing in food that we're going to be wasted.

I feel like this is the kind of thing. We need to tell the people, is the chili from the can, does it have a dog food top? Yes. But you don't even need a can opener. Do you think that this canned chili will make it so we don't have to go to Wendy's anymore and worry about poo-pooh veggies? Or the bandaid in it. Or having a bandaid in it. Or if you remember, like, that they used to say, like, do you think that this is the old beef?

Because they used to say, oh, all the chilies, you don't get the chili because that's all the old beef that they put into the chili. And then you get all the old beef. So do you think that this beef is going to be old? Old. Now, I did, I wanted to make sure that I got the, I'm going to take a picture of you. Oh, oh gosh. I didn't bring my brunch today, so this is perfect. You get the Wendy's Chili.

I knew that you also wouldn't be, like, disgusted by this, Amber, because you know... Oh, yes, bitch. Yes, you've been a snack gig, girl. Snack gate. Yeah, get in it. I can't believe we're snack fluencing with Tupperware now. Oh, we're snack fluencing with Tupperware. I dig it.

Yeah, we're in. Now, this is the one with beans. I would eat this for lunch. Do you want a bite? Of course I do. Wait, offer me a bite. Amber, do you often go to Wendy's for the chili? Is this a targeted gift?

Actually, yeah, I do. I like the chili and I like the baked potato. The baked potatoes are good. I don't know why I took you as a Wendy's kind of gal, and I'm not saying that to throw you under the bus. That's why. I think, oh, maybe it is the braids. Also, freckles 8.5.

8.5. 8.5 with the freckles. Yeah, my kids are in a big Wendy's stint right now. I've been going to Wendy's a lot. I'm not usually a canned chili connoisseur. I'm going to throw that out there. Yeah, you're more of a homemade bitch. I'm more of a homemade bitch.

But the flavor is pretty good. And I do feel like it does taste like the Wendy's chili to a T. And the chunks of beef are so like sat. in the can juice that I think that you're not even there thinking about how old the beef is. You're not noticing that it's an old hamburger. You're not even noticing how old and square it is and you're just fine with it. But I do think that it's honestly, it's given Hormel. It's given like up there, this is a good, you know, everything is expensive nowadays.

Sometimes you need to get a can of chili and you don't know if you should be getting Hormel or if you should be upgrading to the Wendy's. But if you like Wendy's chili, they just like it. I think it's good. Thank you, Jackie. I didn't know if, you know, sometimes a canned chili, it really gives more can than it does chili. Like canned refried beans.

I don't like those because it tastes like a 10 can. Exactly. I'd rather take, like, I'm not against canned beans. Exactly. You can make them yourself. You could just smash them yourself. You make it like make, and they are so delicious. That's, Amber, I knew exactly that you were going to understand.

Because I think that some people would look at the snacking and be like, oh, that's a stupid snack to bring to Amber. But I just feel like this is real food. Yes, that's what I want. I also think I'm a profound sucker for a grocery store item that is marketed as a fast food item. Like the Taco Bell Taco Bell hot sauce. Give me a Taco Bell like family taco night kit. And I'm buying that shit. I know it's not the same.

It's not the same. But I'm doing it. But I will do it. And I know it's not the same. same sauces. Or maybe it is. Who knows? It's why we have to have snackies. It's why we have to find these things out. Okay. You will not believe the syncrenicity of of what I have. What are you about to say? What have you got for us, dude?

Chili cheese fries. Wow. Did you all like, this is unplanned? This is unplanned. We did not coordinate. We did not. This is, in fact, I'm going to show how excited I am. And I got to say, I I'm terrified. Oh, I got chilly tongue right now. So scared. And I'll show everyone my chili tongue.

Don't be scared, MJ. Okay. Are we going to, we got to play MJ's Minute Munchies. There we go. You have to listen to this one. You need to write down all the words so we can sing along every week. Yeah. Minut Munch.

Mijs. M. M. Minute Mudge! Minute Munch! Minute Munch! Yeah! All right.

Okay. Oh, crap. They're going right in. Oh, crap. Oh, crap. I'm going right in. I'm scared. Oh, why are you already scared?

Oh, you see, MJ? I'm scared of a meat flavored chip. MJ recently had a meat flavored chip, and now they feel like they've been chasing. Don't go chasing dog food. Yeah, it tastes like dog food. Sometimes they've been chasing dog food. You had a Thanksgiving dinner chip one time,

or at least it was on the office table upstairs. I assumed it was yours. Yes, it was mine. It tasted like dog food. It did. It was a, it's very turkey gravy forward. And that is not always what you're looking for. And it is, it's surprising that in this, our Lord's year of 2026,

that, like, even when it comes to, like, bacon flavor, like, certain. meat flavored items have just not met the mark yet. No, because when I want meat, I want the meat. I don't want a meat flavor. I don't want the taste of it. That's the problem. It feels like I'm in some kind of like late stage capitalism. Yeah, where you're like getting a pill instead of a dinner.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like, yeah, or like, yeah, or just a bug paste like in snow piercer. Yeah. You know, sometimes enjoy, and we enjoy our bug paste. Thank you, Peter Thiel. Thank you. I am. MJ, what are we getting?

So, okay, like, so is it too meaty? Is it too, like, is it too chilly? Like, what are we getting? Are we getting the beans? I think I am getting the beans. Oh, they're getting the beans. I am struggling to identify what's going on with these chips. I'm not unhappy about it.

It doesn't taste like dog food, which is good. It does. But like, do you guys know, do you ever eat the fritos, the chili? I love the chili fritos. Chili cheese fritos. Those are just like they, they've been rocking since the 90s, and they just hit. And they don't taste like meat, but they just have great spices, right? This is not that.

I'm going to say that it's trying to have a slight beef flavor. I thought I really, that was. This is not that. Not that. Because I was about to be like, but with that, you get the corn chip flavor, and you the substance of the corn chip and I feel like a heartier chip can be gat

a heavier flavor and sometimes the Pringles it's too thin and also you know ever since I read like I don't know Michael Pollan or whatever and I learned that like a potato chip is a sliced potato and a Pringle is like a reconstituted

potato I just have an experience with Pringles where afterwards I'm like it tastes like reconstituted potato with flavor on it as opposed to something else, a culinary experience. Yes. And so I don't know if I'm biased against Pringles now. I'm getting them a lot because they have all these wacky flavors.

And it is just a little, just tastes a little bit too much like meat. I don't know. Pringles is not impressing me much, if you will. Oh, oh, oh. Wow. So it's a reconstituted meat out of a can. And you don't like it, MJ? You don't like it?

I don't know what's wrong with it. I've also got this ass. I'm an astronaut and you want to like evoke the flavors of meat and potatoes. Okay. In a chip, it's doing it. It's giving that. Yeah. But you may as well just eat the Wendy's chili out of a can is what you're saying?

I think that's what I'm saying. I think I'd rather be eating chili right now. I wouldn't be surprised if people like this. And I did hear from people that said, I'll take the rest of your dog food, Argentinian steak chips, M.J. So people like it. Be boring. People are into it.

People are into it. But this is the beautiful part of MJ's Minute Munch of Jackie Snackies, that it is, you know, we're just trying to more, it's like, if you are into more of the fake meat flavor, then this might be your bag. Like, if you hate the taste of corn chips but love the chili cheese fritos, well, this might be your thing, even though it doesn't taste like them, but maybe it kind of does. I will also throw it out there that if you, you know, don't want to make cheese. chili at home and you want this, you know, it is weirdly sweet, tomato-y. It's given

ketchup, but like that is for some people, you know? If you have weird taste, you'll love this chili. If you're a piece of shit, you'll love this. We hate it, but maybe you'll like it. I just feel like if... No, Amber's going to eat it for lunch. I know she's going to eat it for lunch. I'm going to have this and half a turkey sandwich. That's all she needs. I just, feel like if after you eat at chip, your first thought is, I need to brush my teeth like right now to get this flavor out of my mouth. That's not what you want out of a culinary experience. It's not what you want. Sometimes there's just too much flavor for the chip. It really is. Sometimes they're trying to get too much. They're trying to evoke too many experiences with the chip. And it is crazy that people do say that like there is like an in the engineering of Pringles that part of what makes them, that you want to eat them over and over again, is that they fit on your tongue. Yes.

And that that is why, and that is also why, unfortunately, even if I don't like the flavor of the Pringles, I will take a full stack and shove them in my mouth and like down like I'm destroying, you know, a building. Like I'm imploding a building. Right, like a dog and his favorite chew toy. Oh, I'll dog at him. Oh, you let me get in there.

Don't you put any peanut butter on the outside. son. Not that I was going to say. I think I got to take a break from chips, you guys. I think I might be, I think that I've tried so many different chips over the last year and a half that I think I might have like chipped too close to the sun.

Whoa, you need a chip break. Dude, you need a chip break. There are so many. That's why, you know, you can go into the world of canned goods, MJ. How dare you should have seen the look on my face because I was trying to find something. I was trying to find something that inspired me

for you, Amber. And I was with Jeff and he was like, do you want to look into Trader Joe's? And I said, um, excuse me,

going to Trader Joe's and Trader Joe's snack fluencers, that's a whole other ball game. Whoa. They have their own snack fluencers. Like, I can't just dip a toe into the world of Trader Joe's

and expect to be welcomed with open arms. I am an independent snack fluencer out here, the way. Like I am on the, you know, the Oregon Trail over here. And yes, maybe the cyclospora, pusspora that's going through me, this is part of my journey of what I bring to everybody. Thank you for listening to my TED talk about snacks. So we didn't go to the Trader Joe's. Yeah, that's like in New Orleans, if you want to do a street performer, you can make a lot of money,

but you can't just go put a hat out there because everybody has their corner. Everybody's got their spot. And if you did that, you would be punched in the face. Yeah. We've not shot. There's a whole ecosystem. You have to respect it. I don't want to be dealing with that.

But I do want to be dealing with thanking you so much, Amber, for being here on this episode of page seven. We had an absolutely delightful. I loved, I knew it was so exciting having you on after we had our Broadway jack-in, as well as we are in the middle of our Liza experience, which for those that are curious, you will be getting the celebrities two parts of Liza next month. And we are very excited to be debuting them. And I, Amber, what have we got going on?

Where are we finding you? I noticed you guys were putting out new content with Spun. Yeah, we have. So we have a new content creator who just takes clips of things we already have and puts them out online. So go follow someplace underneath on Twitter and on YouTube, not Twitter, sorry, on TikTok and Instagram and YouTube and we've already got

some great clips coming your way and many, many more. I am also on Patreon for Amber Smelson. For $1, you can listen to my stand-up open mics and I'm also going to be revamping my cooking show just for that. Oh my gosh, let me know. I'd be a little scared to put it out on Instagram right now

but it's just going to be for that and I'm going to work on it during the break. I love that. That's awesome. Awesome. That's great. Thank you. And every single Friday, if you're in Los Angeles, I run a stand-up comedy show called Slambors Comedy Bash. Yes, dude. Seven o'clock at the clubhouse. Please come by. Oh, awesome. And it's just been an absolute, wonderful dream having you on, Amber. And I think it's great that the network only allows us in one room for small doses because they know that they can't have us close to each other for too long. We're pitching like last five years, like a whole show. We're just like, the whole thing.

Come on. I think that we can do this, you know. I'm sure maybe some people will be against it and maybe, you know. They could go kick bricks. Yeah, kick bricks. What, do you have freckles or something? 7.5. Good Lord.

My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram and jack that worm. And come on down. The water's fine over on LPN Romantasy deep dives. Because we also, we've been working with an amazing person. putting out more content, give LPN Romanticy Deep Dives a follow, and it's just Romanticy Deep Dives on Instagram. But everything for page seven, come on down, y'all.

YouTube.com slash at page seven pod. Get us visually in your face. You know you need it. It don't cost nothing to subscribe. So just give us a little follow, and then you'll know when new episodes are dropping. MJ? You can join our Patreon, patreon.com slash page 7 podcast.

So much stuff over there. We got the book club. We got the desperate housewives watching. We got the Buffy watch a lie. And of course, you can email us page 7 podcast at gmail.com. We love hearing from you. We love you. And Amber, we love you.

Come back soon, please. Thank you, MJ. I love you. Bye, everybody. I love you. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors.

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