Page 7 - Fashion Cryptkeeper w/ Jake Young

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

This week on Page 7, Jackie and MJ are joined by Luisa Madrigal fanboy Jake Young, to goss' 'bout Holden's (valid) Star Wars prequel hatred as well as some upcoming Nerd of Mouth episodes, Jackie reveals her encounter with "The Poodle Man" on the Scrabble app, and there's rumors that Blake Lively had to purchase her Met Gala ticket as Anna Wintour may have NOT invited her this year. Then a deeper dive into this year's Met looks, Jackie and Jake give an update on the DnD campaign they are playing with Amber, and Isa Briones has had to remind "The Pitt" fans once again to not yell during Broadway performances. Then it's time for a list of "Actors Who Called Out the Most Disgusting Scenes They Ever Had to Fiiiiiiiiiiiiilm!" followed by BLINDZ that MJ most certainly did not write, and then it's a choose your own snackventure on this week's Jackie's Snackies @ 1:06:40.176 that also includes a hostile takeover of Jakey's Slakeys, and another swapped MJ's Minute Munchies @ 1:17:40.596 all ending @ 1:23:13.820, PLUS SO MUCH MORE!!!  Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

appreciate and love my partner. But if you are strong enough to physically lift me a 300 plus pound man over your head and spin me around like a pizza, call me. We'll work it out. It's all I've ever wanted. You might be manifesting Louisa from Enkanto? Yeah. Oh, whoa. Listen, if you're one of these Louisa's out there using the Madrigal family magic in order to gain superhuman ox-like strength, that sexually excites me and I'll throw it all away for you. Wow, we have similar tasted women, it seems. This is really good for us to find this out. I have one type, and it's Louisa.

Yeah, scary. Is she scary in it? I haven't seen this. No, she's just strong. I haven't seen in Canto. Do you find strong women scary, Jackie? Yeah. But like in a good way.

Please, I'm in the middle. I'm supposed to make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain. Make you live your crazy life But you'll take away your pain Like a bullet to your brain Come on! Upside inside out! Living La Vida Loca

She'll push and pull you down. Little Lita Loca. Her lips all devil red And her skin's the color of mocha. When she will wear you out. Living a Lita Loka. Come on. Living Lita Lola Loka.

She's coffee in Lovita Loka. Thank you. I just needed, what was I not going to sing? Live in Lovita Loka. Jake is not only the most perfect person to ever join page seven, but before we were starting, I was just like, oh man, I don't really even have a song stuck in my head. Kind of, I've got that Tame Impala song, Dracula, stuck in my head, but that's not a fun one to start with. And it was just great.

Jake was like, what year were you 12 years old? And I said, 1999, pulled it up and me, I was like, bang or bang or bang or bang. And it was like difficult to choose which song I was going to start with. So thank you, Jake. Because you're at a crossroads of two phenomena. One, whatever you enjoyed when you were 12, you will love with the most pureness of your heart, movies, like video games, music. Just like that is your, you have the most capacity to truly love a piece of entertainment at that age. but also just by happenstance,

1999 is like one of the most banging years in music ever conceived of. Oh, it is this beautiful, like, like we're like out of the grunge era, like the girl, like the pop music is having a, like is in its own, hip hop is at its height, like you're getting TLC, you're getting shared belief,

like you're getting auto to. No scrubs. You're getting an angel of mine. You're getting baby one more time. It's just a. a great year. You know,

just, especially for pop music. Yeah. I would argue 1997 through 1999. It really, and maybe that's,

but you're right, it is also situational. 1997 was the year I first made friends. Thrilling. You need that. That'll do it. That'll help.

MJ, can we go one fucking episode without you talking about how you were a unpopular baby? But look at you now, MJ. Look at me now.

And music sounds so much better when you have friends, you know. So that's why I think 1997, but also the same. Music sounds real good when you don't have friends. When you don't have friends.

That was the saddest thing I think you've ever said. Music sounds better when you have friends. How bizarre was 1997? Remember that one? How bizarre? Oh, how bizarre. How bizarre? Sorry. I was so busy thinking of you

as Dobby being held in my arms, just being like, it's better with friends. And yeah, sorry. spoiler alert y'all uh yeah that thing dies sorry didn't know by now that's how it goes what dobbie from dead harry potter over dead never to be alive ever again well that's okay because the franchise is dead as well yep and especially to us but you know don't worry about that jake i wanted to say we didn't even introduce you up top we we know we love them on the network

Introduction. I know that, but also, you know, co-hosts of Nerd of Mouth. It's not Wizard in the Bruiser, even though I always want to say Wizard in the Bruiser, but I do blame the tour that we went on and not the fact that I just keep forgetting. That's fine. I still will slip a little, but it's nerd of mouth. LPN's weekly dive into the world of geekery and nerdery. We just did a retrospective, kind of a look back on the...

Was it the one on the Star Wars films? It was the one on the Star Wars. Because I was saying we may have had a Holden McNeil on the show last week who really was talking to us about some hat choices. Holding had a little meltdown about the prequels. You know what? He had a little meltdown on the episode. So we were kind of hoping. MJ and I were both like maybe he's shaking it out here, you know?

He had a point. He had a point that there is a certain point where like you can see that the, The new generation has reclaimed it with the same innocence and enthusiasm that the previous generation enjoyed the previous Star Wars films. I did a lot of research, and, you know, George Lucas truly did something, like, unique with those movies, and it's a thing that would never exist now in our current corporate system. But there's no amount of, like, academic analysis and generational perspective that can make a grown man watch Jar Jar Jar Binks and say, this is valid, this is good. into this. I can handle this. I am very excited for an upcoming episode where we're doing the research

now for superhero musicals including it's a bird, it's a plane, it's Superman's with Linda Lavin, as well as famously Spider-Man Turned off the Dark. Is it just like Peter Pan, but they turn it into Superman? And they're just like, he can fly, he can fly, he can fly, he can fly.

It's a very bizarre show with like, it's like kind of played as a comedy it was before, it's like from the 70s. like superheroes were not serious at all, you know. But it has this like very like freewheeling kind of like, uh, uh, starlight express about it. Uh, are they all doing blow cane? There's a, especially in the TV special, which is, I think the only real way you can see it now, there's definitely blow cane in the air.

Uh, also, the legendary Jim Steinman Batman musical that never got produced. Uh, it's so fascinating. I'm so excited to learn more about it. Check this out. You said this is the on an upcoming episode? It's going to be an upcoming episode. So I'm, stay tuned for that.

Hell yeah. I just want to spotlight also that after Holden talked so much about Jarjar last week, Jackie had to Venmo request me for something. And she messaged Misa Sari Binks. And I was like, what the fuck is this before I realized? She was talking like Jar Jor.

I was talking like Jar Jar Jor, MJ. I can't believe you didn't get my Venmo. reference to Jar Jar Binks. I did after two seconds and then I was like, oh good. Now we get to talk like Jar Jar for a week because Holden brought that into the Lexicon. Because Holden did this. Man, I will say I was talking to Holden about the poodle man on Friday. And I feel like I need to bring up the poodle man to you guys.

And I don't know if you guys are going to care or this is going to, this might just be a very boring story. But hold on to your asses because I'm going to tell it. Okay. Not too much. I can't fit my tiny hands around it. around what you're adding to your ass? I just, it's uncontainable.

The amount of junk in my truck. The ass is taking over the room. What's you going to do with all that junk? You know that song, whoop, whoop, pull over, that ass is too fat. I have heard that. That happens to me on a daily basis. Wow. The cops around here must hate you.

And they're like, oh, you're not like trafficking anything. No, that's just that fat ass. And then what do they do to you, Jake? What do they do? They see that I'm a. white man and they just go like, my miss, carry on. Oh, carry on criminal

oppressor. Please continue. You know what I was so sorry. You could break a few laws as a treat. Have fun. Please. Just for us pulling you over. No, I'm talking about the poodle man.

Because Jeff and I have been playing Scrabble on an app for like three years together. Uh-huh. And on this app, it's not words with friends. It's called word feud. On this app, you can be asked by anonymous people to play a game with you. And Jeff, really loves Scrabble, and he plays with, he's always playing with multiple people. I've never played with anyone outside of Jeff.

I've also never been asked. Randomly, last week, I get an invitation to a Scrabble game. And the man's name is Andre and the picture that they have next to it. And if Jake, you could describe the picture that's next to Andre's, his name. What are we getting from Andre? Andre is giving big modern Howie Mandel vibes. Oh, okay. An older gentleman with a short beard, short white beard, sunglasses, and a fedora adjacent hat.

Oh, it's fedora adjacent. A tasteful green tartan scarf. But he's more in the background of the photo. What is really taking prominence in the profile picture is a beautiful black poodle that appears to have like its legs like wrapped around his shoulders. and I would call a loving embrace. A loving embrace. I would call it a loving embrace. When you say his legs, do you mean his front arm legs?

Yes, yes. I had a momentary panic where I was like, well, they're not arms, but it's, yes. I'm going to have to, like, I will be, I think I have to post this even though I don't want to put this person in blast. But here's the same. Destroy his life, Jack. He says your army of parisocial weirdos to hunt him down and make him know, no peace. Also, to be fair, his name is Andre, but there are. many, many numbers after the name.

So this is not somebody you're going to go out and find. I don't want anyone harassing the poodle man. You're just getting them more excited to tackle the challenge and please their mistress. I was playing with poodle man and I, I'm going to say it, I was kicking poodle man's ass. And so I was talking about the poodle man. But then I was bringing up the poodle man on jacking talking about kicking this man, random man's ass. And then I get a notification.

He played a word. He played the word ho, H-O-E. And then afterwards, there was a message that says, No, but there was a message, and I didn't even realize there was a messaging system on this, and it said, You're keeping me on my toes, dot, dot, dot, dot. You're keeping me on my toes, dot, dot, dot, dot. And I, and I took this picture at 8.0.8. 7 on Friday night and of course I don't know where poodle man is but I'm on jacking and I these

notifications pop up and I was like the poodle man the poodle man's listening to me the poodle man's here and I'm worried that I said the poodle man into the toilet and like gronky I'm worried that Holden's cummies solidified together and what if they are the poodle okay and I'm scared he's gonna find me this is this is not victim blaming this is not I have to repeat you You should never harass anybody on the internet. You should like, it's genuinely one of the most destructive and toxic things you can do to just take advantage of communication channels to, like, fulfill your bizarre. Like, I genuinely am saying none of this is your fault. That said.

Are you attractive in your profile? I have no picture. You have no profile picture. What is your screen name? Because I'm too slutty. Yeah. Oh, you thought. I was just being like holding my tips together.

I'm like, oh, play some words with me, boys. I mean, that was your Farmville avatar, so yes. Yeah, you know, I'm always showing him out. No, I have no profile picture. There's not. There's none. Oh, this is fun. So that's why, of course, the Jack and Chad is like,

what if he's just an old man that was just like, oh, you're keeping me on my toes? He is. I just, I know that he is, but all I heard was, you are keeping me. Oh, my. Oh, that's. Can you text me the picture, Jackie?

Can you text me a screenshot of it? Yes, I will send it to you right now. In our internet poison society, toes are now innately sexual and I don't approve of this. I think that playing ho is a bit of a, could be a bit of a signal, you know, like, are you? I mean, playing a three-letter word is a sign of, like, desperation. I think he is flailing in this game. Oh, yeah, he's not doing a great job. But I also, I asked Jeff, who plays with many other people, I was like, do people message you on this?

And he's like, yeah, you know, they'll say like, good game or like, oh, great word or, you know, something like that. And I was like, did they ever say, you're keeping me on your toes? Dot, dot, dot, dot. And Jeff was like, I don't think he's saying it like this. I think that. And I was just like, I am being menaced on Scrabble. What are we going to do about this? I really, I got very, I sent you the picture, MJ.

Okay, I'm looking. I'm looking now. Poodle man, poodle man. What's a poodle man? Why is the poodle so prominent in the Scrabble photo? MJ, is it the poodle that's playing the Scrabble? And yeah, don't worry, everyone. I am going to post the picture.

I'm going to, right? Should I post the picture of a poodle man? I feel like everyone's got to see. You know what, I'll black out the poodle man's face. You have to see the embrace of the poodle. You have to see it. It looks like they took a J.C. Penny photo together. face to face like embrace poodle together.

Like it is, I, that's why I'm scared. It's not that it's just man be. It's just that. Surely a man who enjoys French dogs has a nefarious agenda. I think what's very good about this experience for me is hearing Jake describe the photo and then later getting to see the photo because I don't use chat GPT, but I imagine you can kind of just like be like, make a picture of a man being embraced by a poodle.

He's a little like Howie Mandel. I'm like, that's exactly what this is. I'm a painter with words. Thank you for describing him because I'm worried he's going to start haunting my dreams. And I needed to share it because Jeff really was like, I don't think that he's menacing you. He really didn't think.

And neither did Chad. Chad didn't think so either, but I've been thinking about it ever since. So Jeff's not jealous that poodle banish. I'm sorry, some people want me regardless of whether I have a picture on my profile or not. Thank you. I've still got it. Honestly, that's like the most pure form of romance.

If like I only know her through her Scrabble word choices. Yeah. And I am infatuated with this person. It's like love is blind, but just through words via Scrabble. Via Scrabble. The thing is that Jeff has taught me how to be a formidable Scrabble player. We completely like, it turns out we look at the game. Amen, all of your words are like, temptation.

Sensual. That's why I was worried about how. Attractive, older gentleman. Silver fucks. Pensioned for poodles. I didn't know how you've cried all of that. There weren't enough words for pension for poodles. I really thank you for hearing my tragedy, my trauma that I experienced.

This is so good because last night when all the MetGala pictures were coming in, I was like, I don't want to talk about the Bezos Met Gallagalli. I just. It's so stupid. I did so much MetGala homework. Oh, my God. We're going to talk about it because we got, I mean, we at least are going to talk about Blake lively. Did you look into this?

I know she showed up a little late after like signing the, the ink was still fresh on the, what's in Santino, Santino? Baldoni. Baldoni. Santerino's clothes. Santerino's clothes. Santerino. But it was a fine dress.

Like it was, what was it? Chanel. Although there's more word on the street and it ain't about the dress. The word is she wasn't invited to the Met Gala. And she had to, like, scrounge to get a ticket so that she could pay. Because usually it's the designers that pay for the celebrities to go. It's part of, like, or, like, sponsors or stuff like that. But she spent 100K of her own money that she had to go out and find a ticket and, like, pull punches to be able to even show up.

And that's why she was late was because she was trying to get a ticket. And that's the world. I thought Anna Wintor, like, just personally approves everybody. I didn't even know you could, like, actually still just buy a ticket off the street. I mean, you know, it's not off the street. You got to, like, know somebody. Like, she had to, like, really, she had to pull some strings to be able to get this because she's still a huge name. So.

And she's, like, part of that wave of celebrities that kind of elevated the MetGala to this modern internet. And now she's not even invited anymore. Wow, that's interesting. devastating. Like, part of me wants to just be snarky and be like, wow, it's giving pick me. But also, like, that's very sad. It sucks. But also, like, was it because of, you know, we're never going to know.

But, like, why did? Why was Anna Wintour all of a sudden, like, no, not this year? And I know that's not what she sounds like, but I don't think I've ever heard that, that particular fashion cryptickeek-per speak before. So I didn't, I don't really know what she sounds like. I imagine. It's just Meryl Streep's voice in my head. Yeah.

And I was excited because I really tried to watch The Devil Wears Prada this week because I want I want to be a part of it. I want to be a part of the moment. And I've never seen The Devil Wears Prada. And you didn't get to it yet, Jackie? No, I put it on and Jeff was like, do we have to watch this?

And I was like, it's a good movie. He's like, I have the hurt. It's a good movie. But you know, he was throwing the, it's my birthday week. And you gotta give a birthday boy a birthday week card. You know what I mean? I was like, all right. If you don't want to watch it right now,

we don't have to watch it. What does he want to watch instead? Yeah, that's a good one. Oh, God, what did we watch? It wasn't hobo with a shotgun, but it was something similar. You know, and doesn't that make sense? In fact, I'm so excited because we did find out last night. I've been wanting, you know, I love a shark movie.

I love a shark movie. I love a shark movie. I love a shark movie. Great. And then I found out it's the same guy that did Deep Blue Sea. Oh, my God. And if we're talking shark movies, we're talking deep blue sea. And I'm just like, it's his, it's his opus.

It's his wheelhouse. Yes, I have to go see this other shark movie. And it is funny because everyone, like, in all the letterbox reviews, it's just like, this man knows how to make a shark movie. And that's pretty much what the review. views are. How do you feel about shark movies? Is there a sci-fi angle to this one as well where it's like, well, we had to grow them

meaner with more teeth in order to do research? Terror strikes when a flight from Los Angeles to Shanghai goes down in the Pacific Ocean. Stuck on a sinking plane survivors soon find themselves in a fight for their lives as man-eating sharks start to circle the wreckage. Okay, well then if so who knows maybe there's still being, maybe it's a trap and release genetics program. We don't know. It's one of my favorite things in Deep Blue Sea is that they really let you know, like, no, no, no.

There's a reason there's a giant shark, and it's because we needed more shark brain juice to cure Alzheimer's. Yeah, Jake. What is your problem with that? And nobody's like, couldn't we just get the brain juice from a couple of little sharks? No, get back into the oven. Hello, Cool J. Deepest, bluest, my head is like a shark fin. My head is like a shark fin. Oh, man, that's what I should have started with.

Big Blue is like a shot fan. If you haven't watched Deep Blue See in a minute, do yourself a flavor. Yeah? Slap that movie. Oh, yeah. So, Jackie, you did not engage with the Met Gala at all. Oh, I've been looking at it. So the concept is like fashion is art.

Costume art. Costume art. The theme. And immediately, my beautiful partner, Marie, was like, we're going to get structural bodices. Here we go. Oh, there were. some structural bodices. The entire Kardashian clan showed up and were like, what was it?

Like, Kim did like this orange, like, plastic superhero, like one piece thing. Kylie did like this, like, weird stripped thing. There was a lot of nipples, a lot of nipples happening. It's like in case humanity was still curious if the Kardashians still had nipples, they came out to confirm, yes. Yes, we do. Kim, there's no structure to this. Like, how is, I guess.

It's a, it's fiberglass. Yeah. I like Rachel Sennett. Did you see Rachel Sennett's dress? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's the circle motif. That like elevated it like so much in a way that I was like, goddamn, yeah.

This is cool. Yeah. I, you know, I do usually enjoy looking at the looks, even though I know the whole thing is, you know, whatever. Oh, the Rachel's Senate dress. It's kind of disappointing when a dude shows up in just a plain black suit or like a celebrity shows up and just like a nice dress with maybe a pop of color because you're like, if you're going to do Hunger Games Capital, give me Hunger Games capital. Yes, exactly. All of it.

Give me like Rihanna's dress. Yes, or Cardi Bini's dress. Yes. We were refreshing live because, you know, on the West Coast, it's still the evening. But being like, is it Beyonce or Rihanna? Beyonce or Rihanna, who's showing up last? You're showing up last. Rihanna.

Rihanna. It was Rihanna. And I, because also, Beyonce showed up with the fam with Blue Ivy too. And Blue Ivy, it really is, I feel like every time I look at Blue Ivy, it is, I shouldn't compare children. But it's just like, you're just like,

do it. It's just, I know Northwest just dropped her first, like, EP and I'm just watching just, I'm just so worried for this 12-year-old. And then you watch Blue Ivy and you're just, like, wow, wow, they are constructing this young woman. They are really like trying to make, they are turning her into, from a princess into a queen.

It really is fascinating to watch. I think you can't compare children, but you can compare parenting styles. And I think that that's what's on display here. And I, thank you. I also feel a little bit complicated about Blue Ivy because that kid has totally grown up in the public spotlight. And like you said, like, they are literally like constructing her. Yeah, she was allowed to be a kid, I'm sure.

They're constructing her to be a star, but they also are clearly being like somewhat intentional about how and what they protect her from and everything. But yeah, I think it's just very, very, there's two paths and there's the northwest, the way she's being parented and there's the blue ivy way. But also the bad bunny, I looked at the image of bad bunny probably 20 times before realizing that it was bad bunny up in that got, I was like, why is there? Everybody's showing me this Benito guy. Why is he so old?

Old guy in the med gala. And I was like, oh, that's fine. Oh, that's fun. That's part of the prompt. Aging is fashion. Aging is beautiful. Oh, do celebrities show that? Oh, do they all show how aging gracefully is the way to do it?

I'm saying that as someone that also, I will never age gracefully. Screaming. Oh, yeah. I'm being. dragged into it. You're going to have one of those weird cat faces by the age of 43. Oh, would that I could. Oh, I mean, I really did. It's why I love Greta Gremlin so much. I did always kind of dream to someday look like Greta Gremlin. That is, I'm still kind of low-key goals. Speaking of aging gracefully, did you see Madonna's outfit? Yes. Oh my God, Jack, you're going to,

did you think it look cool? The boathead, the attendance, all of that was like freaking me out. Boathead. I think she's got a boat head. Boathead. Is she the iceberg? Is this like a Titanic thing? It's a smaller boat. This is one of the most frustrating things is...

Why does you have a boat on her head? No one knows. No, I know. That's the thing. I know. Oh, why does she have a boat on her head? It is as part of the fashion is art. A lot of people kind of just straight up

just like put a famous painting. or a famous, like, illustration or referenced famous art in their outfits. Sam Smith, you know, was in this glorious, gilded age kind of costume, and that was a direct reference to, like, maim. Like, a couple of people just had, like, just paintings, like, on their costumes. Oh, wow. Sam Smith. Wow.

Incredible. Wow. Understood the assignment 100%. But Madonna's outfit is a reference to a specific. painting. I have it. It's the temptation of St. Anthony Fragment 2 by Leonora Carrington. It's called Boathead. And I can't believe

they call it that. But it's literally a lady with a boat on her head being surrounded by attendance. If you thought that bitch didn't have a boat on her head, you would be wrong. She's got a boat on her head. I was so ready to clown on so many of these outfits and then this morning Marie kept sending frantic tests being like, no, abort, abort. Abort, abort. It's a reference to a reference to a incredibly talented female painter.

Stop. Oh my God. Thank you, Marie. Thank you for doing the research, Marie, because I definitely would have looked at it and just been like, Baud on us. Silly lady, Bowdoin. That was my only bit is Bote on Ed.

I mean, I think the problem is all of the Recaps of the Met Gala looks don't include any of this very helpful context. They're just like, look at this bitch, you know, and I would love a little, I'm looking through the best, the most striking looks. And I would love a little, like at the museum, you know, when you can have like a little audio tutorial.

Yeah, a little plaque or a little audio tutorial. But yeah, again, I'm like, I know that we have to hate it because it's just like you said, Hunger Games celebration of wealth. But I all, it's like it always happens like this, you know, the, when May hits in its spring and there's a part of me that likes the weird, like I think weird experimental fashion is fine and fun and cool. And I feel like when I first discovered the Met Gala as like a cultural phenomenon. When I was much younger, I was like, oh, this is neat. And then it's just gotten, I think, with the polarizing wealth inequality and stuff, it's just gotten to be like kind of increasingly poor taste.

But I still like the idea of being like, let's get weird with our dresses, you know? Yeah. Speaking of weird, Cardi B with her insane flesh tumor outfit. Yeah. Her is cool. It is crazy. Put a burn on it. Odessa Zion could judge.

She could destroy me. She looks like every pretty mean girl from my. Jewish Day School and I, that's all I'm going to say. And then everybody said, like Rachel Senate was saying, which is something that I can't unhear, I love Rachel Senate very much. And I, because they did, I love L.A. together. She was talking about, she was asked who smells the best of anyone she's ever met. And she immediately said, O'Dessa Zion.

Like crazy. And like, just like you know she also smells real hot. She's apparently selling her, like her own scent. Oh, did that? Oh, did that? Oh, yes. Oh, DeDessa! Yeah.

You can see it. Get them, Jake! And like that's, I feel like that is one of the things that I get. I hate to keep dumping on Blake lively. But I think that one of the weird things about her coming is that her dress is just like a normal dress. And that's the thing about the Met Gala. No, they added a fancy train.

She got a big train. You can really see who's willing to take risks and who's not. And the risks aren't always good. Sometimes the risks are bad. But the people who show up and that Met Gala clearly just trying to, like, look hot, I would put the Kardashians in this category as well. I, I, I, I, I, I, it's like, you can gain respect to the Met Gallobite doing something real weird.

I think Madonna's is cool because of the boat on her head. And then when the people are just like, oh, I'll, I'll, I'll do the theme, but I'll make it, really, it's just going to make me look really sexy. Well, they, they invited that because another one of the prompts was like, body is art. So, like, there was a lot of encouraging for, like, nude illusions and, like, bears skin. Uh-huh. Vera Wang just has all of her shit out this year. It was, I was like, God damn.

You go, Vera. I don't know if I love this or if I hate this. I was looking at Blake Lively's outfit, because you're right, it is a dress and it has a big train on it. And that's kind of the vibe of it. But she had a purse with it. And I was like, oh, what is this purse? It was like, oh, is this like a fancy purse? And she'd wanted a bespoke purse made that she was going to get like a piece of artwork on the purse made on the purse.

But instead, she used her kids' artwork. Oh, well, that's fine. I think it's stupid. I don't like it. It's just not the theme. You know, hot take. It's just, I don't, I don't care. Yeah, that's just not the theme.

Also, Dochi, have you guys seen Dochi's outfit? Dochi is just out and about. Dude. Yeah, it's just fucking understand the assignment, Blake, LaGong. Get weird. I love Dochy so much. Hudson Williams looks good. Hudson Williams looks great.

Hudson Williams understood. the assignment. Connor's story, like he had a shirt with a train and we were invited to the gun show. We were invited to the front seat it is funny because I feel like

I haven't even seen a whole picture of his outfit. I've just seen inserts of like his arms. People are like, but did you see his arms? Like, yeah, guys, we know. We know he has arms.

My favorite of the night is Sarah Paulson. I really just, she like fulfilled the assignment and still got like a good message in there. Like, you know, as much as I would love a AOC reboot of just like tax the rich, just written in bloody letters all over the dress. Yeah, that was nice. I think Sarah Paulson got a zing in and it looks really cool. Yeah, it does look really cool.

And I really like Sarah Paulson too. Yeah. And I love her love and I love the two of them together. And, um, but also where is her love? But she doesn't eat her. She's stunts on her own. Remind me who Sarah Paulson's love is? I don't know either.

I'm looking. Oh, it's a May December romance. Oh, uh-oh. I can't think of her name right now. Holland Taylor. Thank you, Holland, Taylor. Okay, yeah, this is fun. It is a May December romance.

Yeah, that's fun. I'm, I support it. But they got together where, when it was completely fine and it's not any of those. It's not one of those. It's not a Celine Dion. Yeah, no, it's not an Aaron Taylor fucking whatever. That's not in that. You know, Monnet's outfit was crazy.

you know, like having nature reclaim technology. She's literally, like, surrounded by, like, Ethernet cables and circuit boards and, like, costume moss. It's, like, breathtaking in photos, but there's video, and she cannot move in that thing. She's just, like, penguin waddling from a photographer. It's worth it, though, because it's such a cool outfit. I feel like that is kind of worth it.

And I love Janelle Monet. And if you ever get the opportunity to see her perform live, definitely do it. It is. She puts on a great show. Also, Sabrina Carpenter. I hate to admit it, but like, gosh. Are you not a Sabrina fan?

I am not. She's, her particular, uh, aesthetic and music has not resonated with me. Okay. But, uh, also I don't think she did good on that Muppet show revamp and that might get me some angry comments. Wow. But all that being said, the, the shape, the form, the medium, like, it all works so good. It is, even her hair kind of like mirrors a movie reel. It's all film of like the entire, like dress is actually made up of film.

It's, it's, Audrey Hepburn in Sabrina. Like, it's, it works. It works. It works. It works. It got to hand it to her. See, so some people did understand the assignment.

Of course, lots and lots of conversation about the fact that the Bezos's were there. And I think that a lot of people, there were certainly people that, like, refused to show up because of it. There's also people that, like, a Merrill Streep who was. asked again and still has never been to a Met Gala and does not want to go. So she doesn't. And it is, because like, I feel

like with the Met Gala, because like we were saying up top where people have to be invited to it. So some people really want to be invited to it while others, it seems like there is some backlash, which I think, I guess, it's different than like an awards show

because it is still, you know, a fundraiser for, you you know, for the Met. And so I understand that it's different, but a lot of people were, like, calling out anybody that was on, that went to the Met Gallup because of the Bezos involvement, because of, like, because of where our world is right now. People set up stations with empty water bottles and said, like,

here's your bathroom. Like, it's just as good as what Jeff Bezos gives his employees. Oh, okay. I mean, and it, which, it's like, And I think I love it. I mean, any way that you can stick it to any of them, I say that we do it. Yeah. But then just just see it where it's just, ugh, just his stupid face.

I'm so sick of looking at Lauren Sanchez's husband. And I am, thank you, Jake. I am going to only refer to him as such from now on. Yeah, there's something, it's like, right, it's always been a celebration of extreme wealth. But there's just something about being like, now Amazon owns it. That just makes it just so much shittier. Because it was sponsored by him, right? Yeah, they did a $10 million donation and they were the main sponsors of the event.

And so it's just like, and I don't know, I feel like being mad at the individual celebrities who go, I go back and forth on that. Sometimes I'm like, celebrities should make responsible choices. And then other times I'm like, I don't expect celebrities to make responsible choices because they're not. Right. they're not that's like they're it's like I don't know it's expecting something from somebody who's not going to do that and I just lower my expectations I can't believe the attention monster is acting right exactly an attention monster would exactly I do feel like it is one of those things where it's like well then there's lots of things that we can be upset about

every second of every day but at the same time like you know if you're invited by a designer and you feel like in in your head that you are showcasing designer for, you know, I feel that I'm sure that celebrities, obviously, they found a way to convince themselves to do it. But I guess I understand both sides, though. I genuinely, I do get, of course, I mean, I think that any, you know, I think that screaming of eat the rich over and over again, I agree with and I understand. Yeah.

I'm maddest at the Bezos is and not like any particular celebrity for going. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm trying to find a few more out. Naomi Osaka had this amazing kind of like white kind of structural coat hat thing with like these pops of like bloody red and like floating feather elements. Hell yeah.

Hell yeah. Oh, is it Luke Evans? He showed up in like a brown, full leather Tom of Finland get up that was like really, I feel like on target and choosing Tom of Finland. Yeah, Luke Evans in a full chocolate brown leather, Tom of Finland get up with the hat and sunglasses and mustache. Really fantastic. But also, we didn't even bring up Beyonce's diamond skeleton outfit that she was, like, that is so cool.

I want that dress. Like, I very rarely look at a MetGala dress, and I'm like, I want this dress. I want it so bad. Like that is so cool. Not that I ever, I mean, I can't imagine showing off my lower stomach. It's basically the Skeleton Dan costume just elevated. Exactly. But make it fashion.

Make Skeleton Dan a little bit more fashionable. In fact, I mean, I guess if we're talking about Skeleton Dan, I'm sorry, MJ. I did want to just bring this up real fast because Jake is here. And Jake was. I deny everything. Jake and I are you going to deny that we're on a home game together? We're playing D&D together. No.

I'm shouting that from the rafters. MJ, Jake and I are now playing D&D together. And it's been a lot of fun. But I really wanted to bring up the fact that we were there for Amber's first time ever playing D&D. She liked it so much. She is now, like, playing with us. She wants to, like, come and play. And it's so funny because Amber's character's name is Little Man.

And Little Man. And little man is, he's always asking about beautiful women. And at one point, he does, like, he does enjoy an evening with a sex worker in a brothel that we go into. But when Amber goes upstairs, she rolled a one for the experience, which is a critical failure. and then Jeff and Amber had to act out what a critical failure would be in an experience of where little man is just like crying and it with his head and her lap and she's like, it's okay, but then Amber. Jeff was amazingly empathetic and beautiful as Olga. Olga. Olga, who was the one that a little man falls in love with. And then throughout the rest of the game, he just kept trying to like, I got to. find Olga. I'm in love with her. I'm in love with her. I'm going to find her. I'm in love with her. I'm in love with her. I guess I just wanted to bring it up just because it's been, Jake, it's been so fun playing D&D with you. But how is, isn't it crazy to throw Amber in? Because in the world of D&D, it is really, you got to make bold choices. Yeah. Yeah. And if there's one thing. That's what the Amber does. Amber does. It is make bold choices.

It's seeing the game, because she never played any like tabletop RPG. So like not only is she getting used to the rules of the game, like, you know, roll dice for this, roll damage for that, check a skill for that. Just the idea of like having the freedom to do anything you can in this world. The first time we played, she just realized that like she can just roll a dice and determine whether or not she can do a backflip. So she just like, with the joy of a child was just like, I do a backflip. And then he's like, all right, roll for backflip. And she backflips all the time. I was like, we're going to have to learn new gymnastics terms so that you can broaden your horizons from just backflipping out of a room.

But like in the world of the mind, if you could do a backflip whenever you wanted, why wouldn't you? It's such a fun time. And I can't wait. I just, you know, I'm like not a tabletop person and I'm not a games person and I don't like fun. But I'm like, I do like fun. Yay! I don't like board games. And it's been a big, my husband likes board games.

I'm trying to like introduce board games to my family and everything. And I'm just like, I've been dragging my feet. But the other day at middle school, I got charged with supervising the club of middle schoolers who play diplomacy. And it was so sweet that I was like, I think I have to become a tabletop game person. Just because like seeing these middle schoolers play diplomacy together, I was literally crying. I was like, this is so wholesome and sweet. And when I hear you guys talk about your tabletop game, I'm like, it's just, it just feels like such a nice way to be human beings together that even though to me, I don't know why my brain is like, that doesn't sound fun. But it just like, it just feels like a really lovely way to connect with other people.

It really, especially in a time and place where all we do is doom scroll and stare at our phones, it really is awesome because you have to pay attention. Right. And it's just, I feel like any way in which, no matter how you get it, if there is a way in which you can set up any part of your life where you can't look at your phone or you can't look at a computer screen, you take it. Oh, do you take it? So this might be a good jumping off point for the stories you sent because I feel like we had a real life example of when people that spend too much time on screens is thrust into the world with other people. Are you talking about Issa Brioz? I am talking about it. Oh my God.

Good God. Good Lord. Yelling memes at a fucking Broadway actor? These people, that, this is wild. People, Issa Brioas on Broadway right now, also famously, Dr. Sanchez on the pit. Santos. Santos. And so she's Dr. Santos on the pit, and she's famously having a hard time charting in season two.

And she posted to Instagram, all. audience member, this is the post. Hey, hey, hey, once again, Broadway is not a circus. Do not yell whatever you want at the performers, yelling, when are you going to finish your charts before I sing who sorry now is so fucking disrespectful to the performers on stage and your fellow audience members, y'all are pissing me off. Can you imagine going to a Broadway show and yelling a joke about an actor's television show? And that people think that that's an okay thing to do? Wow. I've been thinking so much about this because it intersects so many, like, societal, uh, spasms as, like, uh, the old world dies and the new one struggles to be born right now. Because there's, uh, there's like so many things happening where on the, okay, like from a, uh, if we want to go materialist with it, going out to see a show is prohibit, more prohibitively expensive than it has ever been.

And, uh, times are tough, resources are thin. And so, like, you're paying hundreds of dollars. And so it's no longer, like, a thing where, like, I'm going to respectfully sit still and be a good little audience member. The power is now like, no, I just, like, shelled out, like, 10% of my total entertainment budget for the year. I'm like, this is about me now. Do you think it's that? Or do you think it's that people, the Internet makes it so that we comment on things?

And now they're just sitting in the audience and they're like, I comment on this. That's the other angle is the pit is. the pit especially is kind of becoming one of these shows with a really online involved fan base. Yeah. And if you grow up with like YouTube premieres and live streams and Tumblr forums, I know Tumblr isn't a forum. It's a blogging platform. Don't yell at me. It's yeah, the way you express your joy is interactive.

The way you engage with something is a wholly interactive endeavor. There's also the post-COVID thing where like the, uh, a good. agreed upon like a socialization of understanding that live theater, that concerts, that just any public, like you are in public, but it is private, but you are like, like, that there's agreed upon rules have just like, that socialization has just been skipped by millions of people. And so they genuinely don't know that like, this is what you're, you're not supposed to be. It's so many different factors all creating this breakdown. and what was previously a undebatable just expectation of behavior.

Of society. You know, of just society's rules of just, yeah, you don't do that. Yeah, it's just like, and it's, this is not like gatekeeping hierarchies. It's like, no, when a performer is performing in a Broadway show, you're not part of that show. You don't speak during the show. And yeah, I was also trying to puzzle this out because we, yeah, the pit has a uniquely rabid fan base. And we touched on this a little bit a few weeks ago, talking about how people are like so parasocially obsessed with the characters

that they're like mad that Dr. Robbie is becoming a flawed character, you know, and all this stuff. Like, but, but yeah, I think there's there is something, there's something that has broken down where now everything is participatory, which, you know, in theory, the cool thing about the internet was that the democratization of people's voices. And this is one of those times where it's like, no, no, no, you got to shut up. Mm-hmm. No, you're right.

I think, I honestly think the answer is there needs to be more affordable, more available, and more just bountiful public arts experiences so people can, like, not show up their first time in this scenario, having paid 300, you know, Broadway dollar prices, a ticket, and just having a completely warped expectation of what it even is. Yeah. And, like, yeah, go see some local theater. Go see a concert. go see a show, go see a festival. And like, make it...

Keep your hands and your thoughts to yourself unless you think that it's an appropriate time to do it. Good Lord. Have some common sense. All that being said, the show is a Bobby Darren jukebox musical. Like, how respectful do I got to be? At least scream something about Connie Francis and you're going to do...

You know, at least do it something about what you're actually watching. My God. Because then if you're out there doing your own, like, pop-up video research, then it's kind of fun. Then you're just shouting out fun facts, which we shouldn't do that at Broadway shows either, but I at least would rather fun facts. Apparently, this is another big issue in modern Broadway shows right now is audiences singing along.

Oh. And that's like a huge taboo that like just people coming in fresh don't realize. In a movie, okay, these are my hot take rules. In a movie, sing all you want. If you're going to see a musical, you can sing as much as you want if you're going to movie. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm showing up to K. Pop Demon Hunters. I'm here to hear E.J. and friends.

And it's not the sing-along group. And friends. Yeah, the version of everyone is a friend in the audience. Every time K.P. Demon Hunters has been in the theater. It has been explicitly a sing-along, Jake. So don't even get ahead of your skis here. Okay. We are invited to sing along in the movie theater with K.P.

Demon Hunters. Yes. And now you're invited to sing along with the list. Oh. Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Actors who called out the most disgusting scenes they ever had to film. Now we know about in Will, we know Will Ferrell and Elf.

He did have to eat all the spaghetti covered in candy and syrup. We know that it hurt his belly. And also it did hurt Katness's belly in the Hunger Games catching fire because Jennifer Lawrence had to eat a raw fish and not like a sushi, sushi raw fish. She had to eat the rest of the fish. fish and she doesn't like fish and that was hard for her to get through. I don't want to do that. I feel for her. No, I wouldn't want to do that either. I also wouldn't want to do that. And I wouldn't want to

be in Anne Hathaway, where she, who is a vegan and Anne Hathaway in Le Miz when she was singing for all the doc scenes, director Tom Hooper, wanted us to have dead fish for days and days and days on end. And she said, there I am in period-looking pleather shoes stepping on dead fish and I was having a real crisis of conscience. I don't feel like the dead fish are necessary to the plot of lay miss. No. No. Unless they were singing out of their gills, you know, like unless like that's what the backup

singers were. And that's added to it. I'm so torn whenever it comes to stuff like this because like there are times in a movie theater where you're like, oh my God, that's like they're really doing some extreme act. And like the director wanted that level of discomfort and like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uncanny spectacle and like I'm locked in. This is like, this is insane.

And then other times I'm like, it's a movie. They're actors. They can pretend that it's not dead fish is a fish. It's okay. Or an alive cockroach. You know, we don't have to do that either. In Vampires Kiss, Nicholas Cage had to eat real live cockroaches in part because he said, the thing I hate most in the world are cockroaches.

And he said, while he was keen to create an unforgettable cinematable. moment. He later revealed, I'll never do that again. I'm sorry I did it all. I'm going to say this. I've seen vampires kiss multiple times. I forgot about the cockroach eating scene. Nick Cage, think about that. I forgot about it. And I mean, I guess now we never will because we know he was eating real cockroaches, but was that worth it? I think that's more about Nicholas Cage's acting being so erratic and freaky that it's not the weirdest thing you saw in that movie. See, I was thinking that, but then in the next one, even though this doesn't have to do with Nick Cage, For the movie Spawn, John Leguizamo had to film a scene in which his character clown eats a maggot-covered pizza. John insisted they use real maggots because otherwise it wouldn't have the, quote, same effect.

He said it was disgusting, and I only did one take, for Spawn? For Spawn? And I'm saying I like Spawn. I'm not shit. Spawn is fun. There's a place for Spawn. but you had to eat maggots for spawn? This is like Robert Pattinson being like,

I needed to come real jizz in order for it to be authentic. And it's like, I don't think you did. I really don't think that you did. But then there are certain ones where I'm like, but that, now that works because this couldn't be, like now we could do it in other ways. But while playing Catwoman and Batman returns, Michelle Pfeiffer did a scene in which she held a real live bird in her mouth.

She says, I look back and say, what was I thinking? I could have gotten a disease or something from having a live bird in my mouth. Several. But that scene, though, like that moment, like is such a creep. And, like, as someone that, I mean, I know I'm not like the other girls. I wanted to kiss Catwoman. I remember watching that. Wait, well, well, wanting to smooch Michelle Pfeiffer in the 90s does not make you a weirdo.

I'm different and nobody gets me. so everybody was against me wanting to kiss her and Winona Ryder and, you know. Just an English or a homeroom teacher being like, Jackie Zabowski, you'll never kiss Michelle. But let me dream. Let me dream. Heather Locklear, maybe. Oh, really?

From back then? That's what I'm saying. All right, I'll take it. Man, I didn't know I was giving that kind of aura. All right, I'll take it. but I will say that Michelle Fyfer is killing it and Margo's got money troubles and I don't know if you've had a chance to check out

it is I'm really liking this show and it is not for everybody but I'm enjoying it and Michelle Fyfer if you thought she was gone she's back she's fucking so back Jackie she was back with worst Christmas ever MJ was she back with worst Christmas ever Is that even what it was called? I forget now.

Was it called Christmas ever? I think so. Yes, it was. It was Christmas. And what did this mother do for Christmas? Abandoned her family. Yes. And that's why we never forget.

That worst Christmas ever walked so that Margot's got money troubles could run. Okay. In terms of Michelle Fiper's comeback. That's all I'm saying. I guess. I mean, it does seem like they share bad. mom qualities across the board. I would throw that out there.

Not that just because you abandon your family. That means you're a bad parent. I guess it does. I think it does. Like legitimately, I guess it definitely does. You have one job and it's to stay with your family. If possible. You have one. Are you going to go say that to mothers, MJ?

You have one job and it's to stay with your family. I think that that's a fair statement. I mean, again, I try to be very non-judgmental on the show, but in general, it is best. when the caretakers stay with the people they're taking around. Podcaster, MJ Neffel, sparks controversy with their mom should give a shit about their kids a little. All right, I guess. Just a little, though.

But, all right, that's my list for you. Oh, good, because I am struggling to see what is in front of me. I think I'm going. Wide. Items. Ah, we can't see them. I am raring to go. There finally was a list that had things on it besides Britney Spears and just.

and Bieber being sad. You guys, please clap. I'm so excited. Wet and reckless. All right. We're not talking about wet and reckless. Oh, yeah, wet and reckless. We'll have to save that for second helpings.

I have takes. I know. You should, you get, we have, Jake always has good takes. I'm just going to sit behind Jack. I don't get my own microphone. I just like shout interruption. I'll take it. All right.

All right. Blind number one. The country singer turned rap singer, turned country singer with the Asian fetish, thought he and the donut singer could go out and sell tickets for $500 or more, and people would jump at it. They were wrong, and now they are having to cancel shows everywhere. Popularity is flea as a fleeting thing when you're trying to screw over your fans. Ooh, post.

Has to be post. Oh, see? And then who else? Oh, who else? Blake Shelton. Donut singer. Jackie, this is free-go. Donut singer.

Oh, jelly roll. No. Oh. What? Nope. Nope. Who else is a singer who did a thing with donuts? Nickelback?

No. No, that was her Cheetos. Those were Cheetos. Those were chitos. Jackie and Jake, you were both at the show where we talked about this. No, not donkey. He doesn't get donuts. He gets coffee.

He gets coffee. He only gets coffee. What singer famously did a big gaffe with donuts that we talked about at the LPN. beach blanket bingo, San Diego, MJ, you remember what we talked about three years ago?

Yes, because I remember that... You're speaking about this as if we just recently were talking about it. Jackie, I just learned this... We had a conversation three years ago. No, no, Jackie, I just learned this the other day. Apparently people without chronic depression remember things in their past.

I know, it's fucking weird. Well, I remember we had a long discussion about whether or not to include the joke about Justin Bieber saying that if Anne Frank was still alive today, she would have been a believer. And I don't remember if we included it or not. I don't think we did. I think he's right, A. But B, this singer, this singer, we talk about her a lot. She.

Oh, she. Okay, I was thinking. All right. I have to completely change. Post Malone. And she did a inappropriate thing with donuts. And it was caught on camera. Oh, Ariana Groves.

There we go. Thank you, Ariana Grande. I forget about the donut. I mean, there's so many things that she's also done, MJ, but I like that. The donut is what really shines. I didn't write the blind. He referred to her as the donut singer. They could have, yes.

That's so funny. Of all the things. All the things. The donut singer. It's like that old joke. You fuck one goat and all of a sudden. Right. You lick one case of donuts.

Come on. All right. Blind number two. This former A-A-a-minus list singer thought he was being a baller showing off his indoor aquarium to the streamer. But now the singer is being investigated by authorities for animal abuse. Whoa. I'm so sad because I know that it's not Tracy Morgan, but I know that Tracy Morgan has a lot of aquariums. But I know it's not that.

Okay. So I Former A minus His issues You are never going to guess this If you haven't heard about it already But this is an actor That you both know

He is in a movie That the three of us And I will add Withholding the four of us Talk about a lot Oh Singer Oh

Jason Derulo Yes Wow Big Cock Big Cock Milk Milk That should have been my hint

When you open the door I don't want to go out the door. When you give me milk? I'm like, I would like something other than milk. Rum to him, to her is a fuckety guy. He's the one who they had to Photoshop out his big cock from the cat costume, right, Jackie? Oh, yeah. Too big for the costume.

Him and Sir Ian McKellen, ironically enough. Well, no, he had the duster on. He's the duster, you know, hid at his erection. Well, apparently he asked for more. He was the team wanted to enhancements. Apparently, Jason Derrillo keeps sharks in his living room. And now, according to the authorities, that's abuse. Whoa, shark abuse.

Honestly, it makes me think of someone sent me this story of someone got charged for abusing, I think pigeons, because they were given pigeons buzz balls. Oh, that is abuse. It's abused to give humans buzz balls. Yes, fun. We drink buzz balls. over on who is the bitch and so everyone's like, can you say what happened?

I was like, we're not trying to support, we support them that they're woman owned. Not that you should give it to birds. Woman owned pigeon abusing. Buzz balls. Okay. Blind number three. They say a beautiful woman dies twice.

And our gal is a, I don't really weird. Who says that? Why? Why? Are you thrilled? Me? Yeah. You're out of beautiful.

a woman they die twice. I think this means they die twice because the first death is not being hot anymore as they get older. Oh my God. Once again, I did not. I mean, I believe it with twinks, but beautiful women.

Wow. They say a beautiful woman dies twice, and our gal isn't about to let that happen to her again. In her heyday, she was considered one of the prettiest women of her generation, but the years took a toll on her all-American good looks. She gained some weight, and then sort of disappeared from the public eye.

But now she's back and looking like her old self. The secret? Sure, she's had some cosmetic work done, but that's not how she lost those pesky extra pounds. She now pops. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know.

I know. I know. I know it's not you. I know you didn't write it. I can't believe page six blind items would be so dismissive towards the innate dignity of women. I know. But wait for it.

She now pops the ADHD medication Adderall like their breath. mints to squash her appetite. Friends are concerned that she's abusing the prescription drug, but she loves the way she looks now and has no intention of stopping. Honestly, for me, this is just refreshing to have it not

be a Ozempic blind. It's an ADHD admiral blind. She's just abusing the old-fashioned medication. That's great. Yeah, we've all been there. If you ask anybody on Adderall how they feel about being on Adderall, the answer is going to be overwhelmingly positive.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Unless they're not supposed to be on the Adderall. And then it doesn't. I guess, no. Then it gets you all bumped up rather than chilling you out. It's when the Adderall stops that the experience people have negative opinions. That's the thing. Adderall, good when you have ADHD and you need it.

Good when you abuse it. It's not good, but it's fun. But don't do it. It's not good, but it's fun. We hear at page seven, I urge you if you are listening, don't try really fun drugs. It's like log. It's log.

And I don't know that from experience. I just know people talking about it. Okay. All we have to go on is used to be a top tier hottie boombadi is on Adderall. Okay, yes. But here's why I'm so excited to get to this blind because at first I was like, okay, this person is not top of mind, not somebody who we talk about a lot on page seven. And then incredibly, you, Jake Young, said this person's name earlier this episode, perhaps for the first time in page. seven history that this person has been talked about on page seven. You said her name earlier.

Hot person from the past. Madonna? No, who's popping. We've talked about Madonna on the show before, Jake. But you're right. You invoked the image of a hot woman of the past. And I thought, I can't believe he just did that because I have a blind about her. Oh, Heather Locklear? Yeah, bro. Oh, my goodness. Heather Locklear in the blinds. The same day that Jake mentions that Jackie, what did you say? She has the essence of Heather Lachlir from the past. Oh, that Jackie, that the, in the fictional act out that Jackie's homeroom teacher claims that she could not pull Michelle Pfeiffer, but perhaps could land Heather Lachlir.

Maybe. As a small child, which now that I'm saying this out loud, we can cut that whole bit out in pose, right? No, I think it's great. I think it's good. I think I want to, I want everyone to know that young me could get it. Because honestly, genuinely. If you saw pictures of young me, well, I could not get it.

It took me a long time to look okay. I will throw that out there. It wasn't one of those, you know? We get it. But Heather Locklear, on the other hand, she's apparently look at okay because she's popping pills. And obviously this entire line is terrible. Everywhere's Melrose place when you're on Adderall.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, honestly, I say at that point, it's like how, at 64, and you're popping the Addies every day, I guess it does come full circle. It's kind of nice to think about it. You can always be young again via Adderall, you know, abusing the pills that you're prescribed like we did when we were in our 20s. So it's good. You know, you look back and you think, I'm never going to be young, dumb and full of cum ever again, but you can be old dumb and full of gum.

And that is always something to look forward to. I want that on a trucker hat. Do I have to go to lids? Where do I get that embroidery done? Old dumb and full dumb. Yeah. Well, those are my blinds. And now I can see again. And I can see that Heather Lackler, you're going to look beautiful no matter what you do. She is. I'm so glad you can see how hot 64-year-old Heather Locklear is now with your functioning. You know, and if you're prescribed the ADHD medication, you should take it as prescribed, Heather. Yeah. Yeah. Probably should. Because I will say it reduces your appetite regardless. So I don't think you need to even abuse it too hard. But I guess, you know, I've never looked like Heather Locklear,

so I can't imagine the death she has to experience. Twice. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to mourn the passing of a lady's bangability. Oh, thank God. Every beautiful woman. Fasses to asses bust to bust. What is that, like, horrific? Like, oh, I'm saying this as, like, I feel like this was like a sitcom line in the 90s where it's like,

Every time you see a beautiful woman know somewhere someone's sick of that beautiful woman's shit. And I feel like that is, you know, not something that you bring around very often anymore. But I feel like that was really like knocked over our heads when we were young. Yeah, you got to take women down a peg whenever you can. Especially the pretty ones. Right, Jake? Well, they have so much power over us that I find it threatening. So yes, as a man.

Yeah. It's that weird? Is I just a common. Yeah, that's, I mean, I think that's... They make you feel so small and inadequate. I feel you gotta lash out against them. Like miniature wife. That's why you make them little,

because sometimes a woman feels small. I am very angry towards the show that is called miniature wife. Yes, I've seen the bus ads and cannot believe it is real. It looks like something out of a 30 rocket. Exactly. Jake, did you know sometimes a woman feels small?

Yeah, when I carry them in my big, beefy arms. Exactly. And this is, I'd rather that than watch miniature wife, but I'd also rather get a couple of things. snackies while we're at it. I've been a snackie girl. Snacky. I've been a snackie girl. Snacky. I've been a snackie girl.

Snacky. I've been a snackie. Snacky. Snacky. Is somebody going to eat those chips? Is somebody going to dip those dips? Is somebody going to try those candies? I got seminar. They say I'm a snack lead. Now, Jake. Sweet or savory?

Whoa. Choose your own adventure. You have an option. It is a choose your own adventure because I didn't know, you know. I also didn't know if you have Jakey Slakies because if you don't, I have a Slakey if you need. You know what? I will, I know your access to grand and exotic. I will yield the slaky floor just this once. Whoa.

I would love to, what do we call, Jackie Bev Browski? No, that doesn't work. Anyway. I'll take Jackie Beth Rowski. I want to see the most exotic delights. I do not care, sweet or savory. Just what comes from the farthest flung corner of the world, what flavors unknown. The weirdest.

I want the weirdness. I want the newness. If you're just giving me like, it's a potato chip with some cheese on it, I'm like, I've been there. I did that. Right. So this is, you know, wild not as far flung. But it is definitely an international flavor. Now, do you want to start with the slikies?

Yeah, why not? So, Jakey's, you know, I didn't, I wasn't trying to step on your toes, but I couldn't remember if we had done this world. And I apologize if we did again, you know, I'm not made to remember things. All right. I'm here for my looks. And that's why people listen to me on an audio podcast. But. Oh, she's rifling.

There's crinkling. Crinkle, crinkle. I'm very excited for this. I know that Jackie doesn't have a great memory because she asked if I like the song Roar. And I've talked repeatedly about how I hate the song, not Roar, the other one, the DNC. Firework? Brave. Not brave.

The other one. Fight song. This is by Fight Song. Oh, is it because I called you out on Jackie's book club? Sometimes. So just so you know, over on our Patreon, I do Jackie's book club, but MJ posts Jackie's book club because they get up earlier because of time difference. And so MJ posted so that it gets out earliest as it can.

But I was, I remembered that MJ loves the song Brave. Yes, because it's a great song. And so then I had this song Fight Song, stuck in my head. And then I was like, I wonder if MJ likes the song Fight Song because they like the song Brave. But then in the, in Jackie's book club, I went down quite a spiral of listening to all the different songs and being like all of the, like the Brave is really the only fine one of Roar, fight song and Brave. Now, is this a, you know what, we can, you know, we don't have to have this part on the, is it because of the song's role in the 2016 Democratic National Convention? Yes. Because I feel the same way about high, high hopes.

Yes, it is because of its prominent role at the 2016 Democratic National Convention. And also it's just, it's just not a good song. But yes, it, I associate it with the Clinton campaign. And also, everybody thinks it's Katie Perry because it sounds like Katie Perry. And so if you sound like Katie Perry, but you're not Katie Perry, come on now. Let's evaluate our choices. These are all, they're all just pale imitations of unwritten, the single greatest anthem. But I will at. Exotic water. I see an exotic water.

But is it Banagua? We've got Banagua, a couple of bonagua. Here we got a banagua for you. I'm so excited. It's Banagua. So would you rather your banana water have strawberry or blueberry in it, Jake? Ooh, that's tough because strawberry banana, a classic combination. Certainly is.

Blueberry banana, you know, it's giving smoothie. It's giving healthy breakfast. I'm going to say strawberry. Blueberry banana is the smoothie that brings together the guy from the coffee shop and heated rivalry. Oh, my God. You're right. But go ahead.

I do love that on the outside of it, it says no added sugar, no preservatives. no funny stuff, which does that mean it's going to be great or is it going to be horrible? And then underneath, it does say not a reduced calorie food. So if you were thinking that you were going to be cutting some nanocorders around here, I don't fucking think so. Every calorie they leave in this bonagua so that you get every second of essence of this banana in your water. We're getting 12 grams of carbohydrates, 50. percent of your daily dose of vitamin A, 15% of niacin, 35% magnesium.

That's an important electrolyte. A lot of people don't get enough magnesium. Managua. Oh, that's a cute pick, Jake. I'm living my banana dreams. Wow, you even brought cups for us. Oh, my God, he's so Jakey Slaky's. I was ready to liquid the fuck.

Oh, that is cloudy. No, it's okay, Jack. I stole this from you. It is cloudy. I also brought a weirdly opaque beverage, but that'll have to wait till next time. I love that for us because I just, I saw Banagua yesterday. There is particulate matter. There is floating things in this.

This is not the goods on bananas. All right. Let's, cheers. This is a Benagua. Not regular aqua. This is Bonagua. Delicious. Absolutely delicious.

This is a wonderful treat. I would keep this in my fridge. for a delightful little sweet taste of fruity wonderfulness. Banagua. I'm pro bonagua. Banagua. Oh, and some say, yeah,

some internationals do say Banagua. So it really just depends on where you're coming in from. This, it's weird because at first. You know, let me some of that blueberry. Yeah, try this. I think that this is actually weirdly delicious. I thought it was just going to be viscous,

not delicious. But it is, it kind of honestly is kind of just given a smoothie that sat out a little long. Try the strawberry. I didn't put my lips on it. You can just try it. The strawberry really hit. I wish you had, Jake.

Oh, no. I got mouth diseases. How is it different than the banana water you had last time Jake was here? Strawberry is way stronger. Strawberry is way, I think strawberries much is better. It is very reminiscent of the previous banana water brought into the studio. the berry flavors are much stronger. You don't get as much of that pure banana hit as I would like,

but it is still there and it is still comforting and refreshing. I am pro bonagua. This is a, I would get this. I would root for this. I think it's because it's banana water, but I feel like it's not trying to be, I feel like the last time that was trying to be too much water. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And this is more like trying to be a banana. A lighter juice beverage. Yeah. It's a lighter juice beverage is what it is. It's a lighter juice beverage. And so I thought, because I thought I had reminiscent of banana in my memory from you, Jake. There was Banagua.

There was the Tokyo banana the last time I was on. And weirdly enough, last week I had another banana flavor experience because I went to Universal and tried the felonious float. Oh, it's delicious. At Fan Fest? No, no. I didn't go to Fan Fest. I just went to, for the sake, you go early, you can ride, you can go on right of the hippogrith as much as you want.

Whoa. Anyway. See, I'm going to fan, I'm going to fan fest with Jeff, and I, uh, looked at a lot of it, and I feel bad because I feel like I'm not, uh, I'm not enough of a fan of all of it. Of D&D, one piece, Sailor Moon and what's the other one? Scooby-Doo. But then there's, but then there's the Universal Monsters. I'm there for the D&D and the Universal Monsters section of it.

But we've got on the docket spicy kimchi. You want an international? You're getting international. And that is via chip. Oh, kimchi chips. What a good idea. Kimchi chips. That is a good idea.

If they're going to pull it off, because kimchi is a very hard flavor to nail down. There's a lot happening. It's a little bit. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm posing. Give me a pose. He's silly. Look at him.

Me too. Thank you. I was excited because I really like these the kettle cooked brand chips and honestly they usually get good flavor but this is a new flavor that I hadn't seen. So is it smell and give us a smell profile? Smell profile, you are getting,

it's like a little bit of that generic like spicy barbecue chip like flavor hit but there is a pickly, a slightly seeph, like you're getting that hint of shrimp. Like I'm, getting kimchi from this. Getting kimchi. All right.

And I wonder if it is like what they have in the back and if it like explains where they're getting their nah, it's just fake. Yeah. It's just fake stuff.

Artificial cabbage flavoring. Yeah, they're putting cabbage on it. They are also, they're like the nice, if you want to treat yourself at the bodega, they're like the nice bodega chips. Whoa.

They nailed it. They got it. Yeah? They got it. This is a kimchi potato chip and it's great. What do you think, Jackie? Wow.

The flavor on it. It is so good. These are delicious. If you like kimchi, you will like this. And it's got a good spice on it. And it's got a great flavor profile. You're getting the saltiness, the sweetness, the uctiousness, the tang of the pickle. It is all there.

Without any of the health benefits. Yeah, not a moment of any of the health benefit. Oh, my gut biome is actively dynes. It's horrific. Yeah, no, it's screaming. I can feel it, but I like it because then we can put it in some dip. Yeah, I'll put it screeches in some dip. Oh, that is fantastic. These are genuinely very good. I cannot believe they nailed it. I honestly, so many times a potato chip flavor will fall short of its inspiration. I am, like I said, I knew kettle brand, they make good flavored chips, but I just, I'm shocked.

Wow. Well, don't worry. I also have chips. It's a chip off. Jackie's taking her pictures. Okay. I will get my... Wait, what'd you get? I have a chip off.

Are we ready for MJ's Minute Munchies? No, I see in a while to take us where I'm in. But I'm fine. Try something new. It might blow my mind. Hello, spicy. Hello, crunch. It's MJ's, Mammah, Mama Minut Munch.

Hello, Dill. You're my wild thrill. It's a damn dance. Mama, mama. Minut munch. Minut munch. Minut munch. Oh, it's a chip off.

It's a chip off. Hello, spicy. Hello, crunch. It's a mama, mum, ma, ma, ma, mamma, minute, mun. This is... Oh, wow, that's great.

It's better than Jackie Zb. Brewski. Ruffles Flavor Swap with Doritos Cool Ranch. I know, Jackie, you brought in flavor swaps. The flavor swap. This is...

Flavorsw swap. Flavor swap. For some reason, there's a bunch of men on top and it says, dude, perfect. I don't know what that is. But, uh,

wait, they're a group of YouTubers that are very popular and they kind of perfected the, uh, trick shot genre. Wait, boys. Show me those boys.

Look at the men. What, who are those men? They're YouTubers you say, Jake? They're YouTubers that like, uh, they're the Mr. Beast of trick shots. Oh, God. Okay.

Oh. This is gonna be a ruffle that tastes like a Dorito. And I'm fucking so excited. I can't even tell you. Tell me everything. Tell me more. Perfect.

Tell me more. Does it eat like a Dorino? Perfect. First word was perfect. See, because, all right, I am about to say something that some people are going to think I'm genuinely crazy. Okay, Jake, remember we were eating the naked nacho cheese Doritos? Yes. And then at another D&D session, I got the naked, cool ranch Doritos.

I felt that the naked cool ranch Doritos. I felt that the naked cool ranch Doritos. Doritos lost something in the translation of taking out all of the evil from the chip. I, the nach ones I thought were passable. We're fine. I didn't get a chance to try the cool. Oh, you didn't try. All right.

Well, I mean, I'm not going to say I'm going to have to get him again because no, it wasn't that they were bad. It was just like, honestly, it kind of felt like, which it was, I guess. I kind of felt, I was like, this tastes like a reduced fat Dorito. And you know exactly what I mean of that, like, flavor of that, like, kind of chemical flavor, even though it was the opposite of that. Technically, they, yes, yeah, but they like took that out of it. When they replaced the MSG with like yeast or something, it's always, it's never,

something, something just didn't hit right. MJ, please, please tell me more about the, so ranch on a potato, that should work. It should absolutely work. Is it like the exact spice profile? Is it like literally the same? I think it's just, I mean, ruffles are a perfect chip and Doritos, cool ranch are a perfect chip. and so it's a little weird to have the dust from a corn chip on a potato chip. But yeah, it just works perfectly.

It's like it's because, yeah, like it reminds me honestly of the ruffles, like the orange ruffles. What are they? Like the sour cream and cheddar. Yeah. It's like that. But it's more like a Dorito. It's fucking perfect. I really hope that they continue to make these.

I would rather eat these than a Dorito or a ruffle. Wow. And now we're two out of two of these flavor swap. Because also on the show, we had gotten the Cheetos that were Southern Barbecue Heat flavored. And at first I was like, oh, but without the cheese in it, is it going to give me the spirit of a Cheeto? It didn't, and I loved it. Because I love Cheetos. And I was just like, oh, it's, but it's barbecue.

And it just, yeah. Yeah. It's like, something happens. I like the flavor swaps. Something happens with the flavor swaps where it's like the end result is greater than the sum of its. parts and that's what you want in a flavor swap, you know? It's such a brilliant maneuver because you're like, you know, we thrive on novelty. We thrive on, you know, of delight and excitement. And, you know, we're literally like just trying to excite our, like, we want an exciting

and delicious new culinary experience, but we are suffering from late stage capitalism and a mental health crisis. So all we can do is open a bag of chips. but that's expensive to keep formulating and releasing new products. So just take the powder you already bought $10 million. Put it on another shit. Put it on different shit. And it's that same hit of novelty.

It's a brilliant marketing move. Well done, PepsiCo and Frito Lay and the Nestle Corporation or whatever horrifying assemblage of corporations make this possible. You're evil, but we're going to keep eating that evil. I will say, it's good chips. It's good chips. I like the way it tastes what goes down. So thank you. Sorry that you're evil and capitalism was evil, but all I've got are the snacks. Right? It's kind of all we've got right the second. So let me enjoy.

I want to eat more right now so bad. Oh, yeah. I'm trying not to eat more because I don't want to crunch, but they're that good. Wow, they're that good. This is a, yeah, it's a rare nonstop home run snack break. Yeah, it very rarely happens. And in fact, I will say even if you chose the sweet choice, it all. also would have been a home run because I am intrigued by these, but I'm not going to tell you what it is. I'll get it next time. I'm not going to tell you what it is, but I am going to tell you. Thank you so much, Jake, for joining us on this week's episode of P. I really had an absolute delight, and we always love talking to you.

I'm sorry that you got so many other articles prepared that we are not talking to you about. But honestly, we might have you back for second helpings, just so I could at least hear your screen. about Billy Eilish because I loved it. We were talking, not in, not in anger, like in support. And it was, uh, it was fun, but you're not going to text me when you're talking about Duffy's dough and I'll just kick down the door of the studio. Oh, oh, we're talking about the Duffster. I, all right, we're not talking about it right now.

We are going to talk about Patrick Duffy's love on second helpings tomorrow. And if that doesn't get you excited, I don't know what will, all right? But Jake, where can we find you, babe? Please check out Nerd of Mouth over on the last podcast network wherever you listen to your podcast. We have a Patreon, patreon.com slash Nerd of Mouth, where there's weekly bonus episodes where we cover the week of nerd news, movies, games, TV shows, and life updates. It's a grand time. We call that the Nerd of Mouth Scream and Shout. And that's just an extra $5 a month.

And it helps support some wonderful men and Holden. Thank you for separating. him out. You can find me at Twitch.tv slash puppet Jared. That is the name of my little cartoon puppet avatar. Oh my God, it's so great. We do a weekly stream called the Cartoon Dumpster. We watch Weird Bad or Bizarre cartoons from the 80s, 90s, and 2000s. Recently, my beautiful partner, Marie sat in with us and we watched Star Fairies, which is this insane 80s like a girl toy brand that like never got off the ground. Ooh.

It was a, it was a waking nightmare. We watched Beverly Hills teens that week and Gem and the Holograms. And it was a fantastic time. Wow. All across the board. That sounds so great. I really love checking out puppet Jared. You really, you absolutely kill it.

And thank you all for hanging out with our page seven episode. And you can definitely, and you should, get your little buns on over to patreon.com slash page seven podcast because we've got the goods for you. MJ and I went on quite a tear on Wisteria Laniacs earlier today. And we had a lot of fun. And also, I just want to give everybody a heads up next week. We do have a, we're doing murder. She Baked, the watch along.

And you don't have to worry about signing up for Hallmark if you don't want to because that is a nightmare. so we recorded it for you. You can just come on over to the Patreon, but also you can check it out as well as an audio-only podcast if you're feeling freaky. And you can do that too.

So that's going to be next week's episode because the network, we will not be in studio, but don't worry, we will get all of the content to you guys. So thank you so much. And we are really ripping with Jackie's book club right now.

And I'm about to finish, I'm about to finish book four of Sooky Stackhouse and I'm going to keep going. I can't stop myself. There's too many mysteries and I got to keep going. I just, I need, I need true blood in my system. But also, oh my God, Buffy has been amazing as well. And we are in season seven of Buffy over on the Buffy watch along. That comes out every Tuesday. Come hang out. Patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. Also, I'm going to be putting more information because I've been hit up by some people looking for Monster Match, which is the official name of our cryptid fuck video game. So if you want more information on Monster Match, I'm also going to be popping

that up on the Patreon as well. So you can find the Discord if you want to pop over there because we're going to have polls up about the different versions of our all, our thick, big cryptids. And I want to know your feedback. So I'm going to pop all that stuff up on the Patreon because some people or having some issues finding it. So I'm going to pop it up there and you can check it out there. MJ. We love you guys so much.

Thank you for your emails. Page 7 Podcast.com. We're getting emails about Rhode Island. We are getting emails about Emily Blunt and Hathaway. We really, really, really love it. We are so grateful for all of you guys. And Jake, we are so grateful for you. We have so much fun when you're here.

Please come back soon. And we will see everybody tomorrow for Second Helpings. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.