Page 7 - Hand Spankys

Episode Date: January 11, 2018

Reunited and it feels so good! Jackie's back in studio with Molly & Marcus and they talk hot Golden Globes goss, Molly's celebrity look alike and The Gong Show. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Man, it was a disgusting time backstage. Hell yeah, that's great. We're going to be getting into that, but, oh, the coming clubs backstage are... I love it. Welcome to page seven, everybody. Yay! Guess who's here? Since I've been gone.

I can't be for the first time. I'm... Don't please don't move on. Yeah, yeah. Speaking of which, Kelly Clarkson, I love her. her so much. And she looks fantastic. Love her. Love her. I love her. I love you more, Jackie. Thank you very much.

And I love sitting next to you more than anything. I'm so happy to be here. Jackie's came to New York for a little bit of a visit during the coldest time. Probably the coldest winter I think we've ever had. Yes, yeah, yeah. Although this week it looks pretty great,

I think I brought the nice weather with me. So you're welcome. You brought everyone. Yes, thank you. All of us across the Northeast, thank you. Thank you. You are welcome. I'm just so happy to fucking be here.

Dude, Kelly Clarkson, I think she looks great. I love everything about her. I mean, I know we talked about her on the New Year's Eve special, but, or the New Year's Eve night or whatever the fuck it's called. But did you also see what just came out about her? No. She came out talking about how she spanks her three-year-old. Really? And she is pro, you know, spanking kids.

I did not think that you were going to say her three-year-old. Oh, yeah, man. Just like little spanked. But that's the whole thing. She's like, I grew up being spanked, and I never did anything wrong. And then it's just a few spanks. And then she doesn't do it because I threatened. And then it stops.

And so she's getting all this insane backlash because of it. But you know what? Yeah. I'm pro spanking, too. Have you ever been around a child before? And of course, yeah, her daughter's name, River. River. What do you think?

Hey, River. As far as all natural names go, I think that River is up there in a good way. It's fine. Yeah. I mean, it's better than wind or feather. I grew up with a fiddle player named River, a boy, and I thought it was a great name. I've never heard it on a girl, but it definitely worked for this boy very well. River Phoenix.

Yeah, yeah. And there's plenty of, like, Rock Hudson. Yeah. There's a few. You know, I dig it. I just think that once you get it. get into like real straight up Pocahontas territory, then it's rough. It's like if I started making my kid Miko after a raccoon, then that's rough to

gurgle because of the fucking Brooks. I think it's more verbal. Is it a verbal? A burble. A burble cut. Remember? Brubble cut. No.

Don't remember verbal cut. Yeah, from Willow. Burble cut. I've never seen Willow. You've never seen it. God damn it. Again. Every time you always get upset.

I've never seen Willow. There's just every reason for you to watch Willow. I just... Yeah, you'll love it. You'll love it. Will I? You will. Yeah, I liked it.

I haven't seen it since I was like eight years old, but I loved it at the time. You're going to love Willie. You know what? One, you're going to love Hot Val Kilmer. He's got long hair. He's got Legends of the Fall Hair. Wait, why did you just tell me this first? Done and done.

Yeah, he's a rap scalion, a scalaug. Oh, yeah. Then there's a super hot redhead. Is there sex? Uh, yeah. intimations of sex? Intimations, yeah, there are intimations of sex, yeah, because there's Val Kilmer,

then there's the super hot redhead. And then there's the small one. Yeah, there's that. He's there as well, yes. But it's like a kid's movie, right? It's a kid's movie, yeah, yeah. It's like, but George Lucas, like they wouldn't let him make Lord of the Ring,

so he made Willow instead. Kind of like how the guys who made Stranger Things wanted to make it first, but since they wouldn't let him, it's like, okay, well, we'll make kind of it. That explains so much about both, both Willow. stranger things.

Man, the woman next to me on the fucking plane, she's sitting in the middle. She already had the worst perfume I've ever smelled, and there was so much of it that it was making me nauseous. I'd rather have body odor than perfume. Me too. It was one of those things where I kept saying, oh, I'll get used to it, oh, I'll get used to it. I never did. It felt like it was in my mouth the entire time, but she watched it on the plane.

And I guess she was very scared the entire time, but she kept jumping. She also wouldn't put the armrest down in between us. kept putting it back up every time I would put it back down. So she kept like going, ah, ah, audible shrieks during it, which also,

I'm sorry, it wasn't that scary. It's fine. And she just kept, like, rubbing up on me as if she was going to hide her face in my shoulder for two and a half hours. What a strange behavior.

Maybe she thought that she would be less scared on a plane because she knew that, like, no one was going to sneak up into her house because she's on a plane. It's also 6 o'clock in the fucking morning. Why do you got to watch it right now? God, it was 6 a.m.

Yeah, man. It was so upsetting. Yeah, I would not want to watch a horror movie on it. I'm not even afraid of flying, but I just feel like conjuring fear on a flight is not the emotion that you want, you know? Even if you're not afraid, like you don't want to watch a movie about a plane crash on a flight,

but I don't even really want to watch a movie about a scary clown on a flight because I don't want to be afraid. See, that's the thing. I think that watching the scary clown would distract. me from the fear. Yeah. Right? And then you're scared

of the clown, not the plane. Yeah, exactly. And so I watched a mountain between them and fucking was just horny. Horny, horny on the plane.

What's a mountain between us? The Idris Elba fucking Kate Winslet. Which is about a plane crash. Dude, I mean, yeah, the plane crash part was probably, as I'm watching, it was like, oh, maybe this isn't the best time to watch us? But I was like, but maybe then I started

looking around on the plane, I'm like, who would be my Idris Elba? Like, who would I just fuck the shit out of it? I found at least six people. And flying from L.A. to New York, you wouldn't, you would, worst case scenario, you would be like, you know, I don't know, in Arizona and have to fuck somebody. In the desert. Desert fucking. How was it?

It didn't do well. Critically, it did not do well. It was. People did not like it. Nor audience-wise did it do well. It was, it was a simple story. And also, it was so, it was very over-dramatic. And the whole thing is that he is, he's a brain.

surgeon from London, who's just jacked. And he has a wedding ring on, but he won't talk about his wife. And then Kate Winslet is the free spirit. She's a photographer, but she has to get home for her wedding day. And they're on like a chartered plane. Yes, because they couldn't get back. She's like, but I have to get there for my wedding day. He had to get into surgery.

And so the whole thing is just these, like, most of the movie is just long glances of just cold lust at each other. And so nothing really happens. Richard Roper says at one point you almost start rooting for the elements to win out just so these two characters would shut up. Well, yeah, because the entire time he's like, we have to be rational. And she's like, but sometimes we have to follow our heart. And it's like, he was the brain and she was the heart. It was so overdraft.

Is she British in the movie too? No, she's not. Interesting. Yeah. Why? Oh, man. See, I just want to watch a movie of them being British together and dating. I don't need the mountain.

It was, I mean, it was ever, it was what I wanted from the movie. I wanted more fucking in the movie. Was there, did they fuck in the snow? I have two spoiler questions. Can I ask? Do people care enough about this movie that I shouldn't ask a spoiler? We'll say right now, spoiler alert. Spoiler alert.

A mediocre movie spoiler alert. Does the pilot die in the crash? Is that why they're alone? Yes. Okay. It's question number two. Do they fuck in the snow? They do not fuck in the snow.

Do they fuck anywhere? They do fuck. Okay. In a cave? No, he happens upon this, like, abandoned cabin. But the thing is that she was, like, she fell through the ice, and she was, like, going to die of hypothermia. So he, like, he's like, what would I do?

And he's like, I guess I just have to use what I've got and made, like, a saline slush with stuff that he found. And he's like, I wouldn't normally do this, but I've got to get you back. And so he nursed her back to help. He fucks her back to work. You know, like, so she comes back to, no, she's in, like, a coma. She comes back to, and then, of course, they fuck.

Because she's like, oh, well, we're going to die out here. So I guess we may as well just fuck a bunch. The day before her wedding day? Well, at this point, it's a month in. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it was a long time. Her fiancee's probably already moved on.

He's getting married again. I don't know, man. I forget his name. He's from my best friend's wedding. The groom in my best friend's wedding. Oh, that guy. I always forget how to, not Dermott Mulroney. Yes.

So also, when she, spoiler alert, when they get back and then you see her husband, and he's just like, the best guy of all. all time. And the way that they look at each other, it's like obviously fucking something happened. Because look at this man who took care of her for a month and a fucking half. I see. I thought it was just like they were cold for like a day and she was like, you know what? I'm going to be late to the wedding. No, and she had broken her leg so he just like carried her. He knew, got her through it. I mean, it's exactly what you expect from a romance. Yeah, that is a romance novel, Movified. Yeah, I think if I saw my future wife walking off a plane with Edress El

I'd be like, ah, fuck. Yeah, that's over, huh? Okay, well, great, great. But he just loved her so much. And he's, ooh, talk about silver fucking fucks. What happens? He's silver? He's always been hot, but now he is, like, he's salt and pepper, but he's mostly salt.

But just on the side, oh, good, Lord. I was just like, oh, no wonder it took you that long to fuck Idraselba, because you had good fucking, ooh, he had that rotissory chicken at home. But Idiaselba is a steak. I mean. Idraselba, I think that he's my permanent, like, I don't know if it's exactly a get-out-of-jail-free, but it's like if you'll give me anybody, give me Idraselba.

You know, I don't want to be frozen on a mountain, but it would be, really in any circumstances, ideally not life or death, still allowed to fuck Idraselba. He's your pocket man. Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and just admit this, guys. Speaking of pocketmen. I had to do a fuck-marry kill.

on the Twitch stream with Holden. All right. It was Jason Mamoa. It was Jughead, and it was Riggins. Wow. And it was the hardest thing I've ever had to choose. Say to know you well. In my life.

So, Molly, fuck Mary Kill. Riggins, Jughead, Jason Mamoa. Well, you don't feel the same way. See, I don't think this is going to be a very hard decision for Molly. Yeah, it's not the same. Damn it. Well, I always have a hard time with fuck or Mary, though, whenever I play this game,

because I never know whether I should choose the one I like the most, for what? But I think that I would, I think, oh, it's Riggins the character, right? Oh, I made a clear distinction, not Taylor Kitch. Not Taylor Kitch. Because I was going to say Mary Riggins, who's more inseparable to live with, Jughead or Riggins?

I think Riggins would be a real bad choice to live with. Yeah, he's very unreliable. Yeah, Jughead's got a future. He's just going through a rough patch right now. That's true. All right, he's going through a rough patch. Southside servants. He's being torn between two worlds.

And, you know, as we see from, you know, the previews from the second half of the second season. I mean, those two worlds are only going to be in more a conflict as it comes up. But, you know, you're also marrying a 16-year-old boy. True. Well, he's 25 in real life, Marcus. Yeah, but we're not talking about him. We're not talking about 25 in real life. We're talking about 16-year-old jug had.

or like 17-year-old Riggins. So you're dealing with high school kids here. But I don't have to fuck either of them because I'm going to be fucking Jason Mamoa. Which I just feel like is a no-brainer. Even though I'm not even super attracted to him, but I'd be like... And I really actually, in real life,

I tend to go for like scrawny artie boys, but I just feel like if given the choice to fuck this like Hercules versus... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those two, I'm like that. He's gonna call Droggo the shit out of you. So fuck Jason Mamoa. That means that leaves me Marion Jughead?

I guess I'm Mary and Jughead and killing Riggins But I don't feel good about it Okay yeah I don't think I mean you can't feel good about Any Marcus I mean I would actually probably go the same route No well I don't know

I don't know Maybe Riggins because Riggins is like What Mary Riggins No fuck Riggins Because Riggins is the most feminine of the three So I think you know with the hair and everything Yeah yeah yeah I mean but they're all

But on the other hand he's pretty musly Jughead is not. Yeah. I'm going to kill Mamoa. I'm going to fuck Riggins. I'm a married Jughead. Wow. All three of us had different answers.

What's yours? It's scary, guys. It hurts me to say it. I said that I would marry Jason Mamoa, but we would also have the same kind of deal where he's going to go fuck and I'm going to go fuck, and that's how it's going to be, but we're just going to, I'm going to be his calisi.

I'm going to fuck Riggins. Oh, my God. I'm going to kill Jughead. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. But then if you think, who would I rather fuck? I'd way rather fuck Riggin's than Jughead. I mean, I'd way rather just, like, have animalistic sex with Riggins. Because, like, Jughead would be a great life part.

Like, he's the one that I swoon to, the one that, like, we're going to stare in each other's eyes and talk about, I don't know. Probably not a whole lot because I don't think you'd be jingle jangle. He was just talk about jingle jangle jangle. We would get to the bottom of things together. We would have a great talking relationship. I don't know how great the fucking would be. Yeah. So, yeah, so I said, I'd kill Jughead.

I think that you did the right thing, honestly. I'm already regretting my life with Jughead. Thinking about the life I could have had with Riggin. It's the hard. To me, that was my personal hardest fuck Mary Kill. When you guys play Fuck Marry Kill, do you play by the rules that when you marry the person, is it like, I feel like some people, like,

view it as a sexless marriage, like a tepid. Oh, me and Jughead aren't fucking. Okay. Well, maybe every once in a while. Just, you know, just for, I mean, when you're close and you're there, things happen. Yeah, some people, but, like, I think about a marriage, like, no, people who are married still fuck. And so if you want to really fuck, Riggins more than you fuck Jughead, then you marry him. Yeah.

I think he did the right thing. Thanks, guys. It was, I think it was the hardest decision I've ever made in my life. I support it. Thank you guys. You're welcome. I almost cried. And I feel like I need to admit it

because I was so heartbroken to say it that I felt like, well, I have to say it. I have to just own up to my choices, my life choices sometimes, guys. I got a lot of demons. I just cry for the rest of the podcast. But anyway, yeah, Kelly Clarkson hits her kids. As said on 98.9, The Buzz. Rochester, New York.

Oh, wait, that's where she said it? Yeah, that was the, she was on the morning show. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. I'm actually surprised she's catching any controversy, because I feel like from, I feel like for the majority of my life, that was the, it was like the, not at all unacceptable to be like, yeah, spank kids.

So it's a sign of the time. And she's not talking about slapping the kid across the vase. It's just little spank. Yeah, it's a little pet. Yeah. I don't, I don't like it, but I do like Kelly Clarkson. I just like you said,

I'm from the South, y'all. So we get spank. My mom would call the principal if I ever ended up in the principal's office and give permission for her to spank me. I'm a well-rounded individual with a lot of character, so I think it's fine. I did get the shit beat out of me by a fair amount of teachers and principals and superintendents and such. Really? Oh, yeah, with big wooden paddles. Really?

Yeah. That's not allowed. You call them licks. So you get three licks. Were you in public school? Hmm? I didn't know that happened in our lifetime. I thought that was something that ended.

Yeah, up until the 2000s. Like my senior year in high school, yeah, 2001. I guess that wasn't happening in New York, really. Yeah. There are different laws about what constitutes child abuse in different states. Yeah. Yeah. And then after you got licked, then you signed it.

You sign the paddle. Oh, that's kind of fun. That's a cute thing. I don't like getting, I don't like the term getting licked. It bothered me from a young age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not really sure why they chose the term lick for a grown man beating a small boy. That's what they say in like the, like the, like the,

the little rascals in the 1920s, they'll be like, oh, he licked him. It's like a very old-fashioned phrase for getting beat up. Yeah, but lick has always met the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, lick's always been lick. Yeah, there's no, yeah, lick didn't change after that. Yeah.

It's like, come down to the principal's office, you're going to get a slurping. Is that worse than a lickin? I don't understand. No, you don't get a lickin, you get licks. Oh, okay, so you don't get a lick and keep on ticking? No, you don't, well, I guess that in a different sense, but not in this sense.

You don't say like I'm going down for some licking. For some licking. Like I'm going down, yeah, I'm not going down to Mr. York's office for a licking. Like I'm going to, yeah, York gave me three licks. Paddling. That's a paddling. That's a pad. Was it, did they have men beat the boys and women beat the girls?

Good question. You know what? I don't know. I don't think the girls really got many lichens. Yeah, I think it was just the boys that got the lichens. I still think that you got a lawsuit on your hand. here, I don't know. No, no, not, not at all.

No, no. I could not. Yeah, there'd be a lot of lawsuits. Yeah. I got a lot of licks throughout the years. Wow. All for my mouth, my big mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mouthing off, yeah, mouth off, go to the principal's office as far. I guess, Mr. Sloan's going to give you three licks. Oh, wait, were there holes in the paddle? No, that was outlawed. Oh, that was too far. Yeah, that was too far. But the ones that we made had holes in them. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, so you'll, y'all licked each other as well. Also licked each other. Wow. This is one of the arguments against physical punishment of children is that they then recreate the physical punishment on each other. They're going to beat their shit out of each other anyway. We were violent to each other long before we got the paddles. Long before the licking. Oh yeah, long before.

Well, the licking was also happened at the same time. But even if you don't get licks, kids are still going to be violent. The jungles in them. I forgot they do say that about kids. Can't trust them. Jongles. Adam. Well.

Did you see, though, when Kelly Clarkson saw Merrill Street on the red carpet, I guess she'd never met Merrill Street before, and she lost her shit. She was like, oh, my God, it's Merrill! And just, like, push people out of the way to go talk to her, and it was the cutest thing I've ever seen. Who did this? Kelly Clarkson. I'm going to Kelly Clarkson kick right now.

I've seen a lot of Kelly Clarkson. Really been into it. Well, yeah, I find that I do disagree with her on this one particular point, but every other Everything else she does is charming as hell. No spankies? I don't like them. No. I don't judge, I don't say that to judge.

I don't judge other parents who do it, but I don't like it. You will not keep it upon your house. Yes. Marcus, spankies? Yeah. Yeah. Spankies. Tiny spankies.

Little spankies. Yeah. No, no lickens. No, no lickens. No, I'm not going to bring out the leather belt with the metal studs that my dad had. Not going to do that. No, no. No, we're keeping it.

Hand spankies. Yeah. Pee-Pit. Hand spankies. Yeah. And emphasizing, you know, no judgment because it's something that people, I feel like it's, as Kelly Clarkson is finding out,

it's something that people hold very personally. But then there's a lot of people that are supporting or they're like, yeah, I also spend, it's like something that you can't talk about anymore, but she's probably shouldn't know I'm talking about. But, you know, it wasn't something to come out. I guess I also should be in support of everyone, spank your children.

I mean, like everyone's, you know, I'm saying every once in. Yeah, make a decision. Yeah. Honestly, the getting chased part is the scariest part. My mom would chase you around, but she never would hit me. Because if I got caught, then it was just the fear of getting spanked. Oh, yeah, and then the things, like where the old people would make you go out and choose a switch. Go out to the tree, choose a switch, choose wisely.

That's hard. Yeah, because if you got one that was too small, they'd go out, you don't want me to get one for you. See, this is, like, there's, in New York, I'm a mandated reporter, so I know, there's, like, there's, you know, thresholds for what. is kind of determined to be like, as long as you don't leave a mark, and as long as it doesn't seem, there's like, I don't remember the exact definition, but there's different, like, in I think Tennessee or some southern state, you can, like, leave handmarks on a kid, and it's totally legal.

In New York, you're not allowed to leave any marks or so. Anything with a switch is crossing over the line and, like, no. Yeah, I guess the switch is too much. If you're on a bare butt, you can draw some blood with a switch. Yeah. Yeah, I never got the bare butt ones, though. That's, that's too far. Yeah, that's, for exactly.

I feel like that's humiliating. I don't think the humiliating children is a good idea. No, that's too far. Like pulling down their... That's gross. I feel like then in the future, like when I was trying to lose my virginity, I'd be taken off my pants.

Like, am I going to get hit? I'm going to get hit on my bottom? And then now it's like, I hope I do. That's a whole other story. But Molly, you watched all the Golden Globes, right? I did. I watched the whole thing, with the exception of Marco Poloing with you a couple of times.

That was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. Yeah, you know, I mean, not even going to rel... It's hard to even talk about without going right straight into Toilfleshland, and I don't even want to. I have, like, very little commentary. I mean, the black dresses looked nice. People looked great.

Why didn't they choose a fun or color? Because it's not fun, Jay. But, like, shouldn't it be, like, red because we all bleed? Oh, I know what I wanted to talk about. Franco Brother. What about Franco Brother? Yay or nay? I saw the disaster artist a couple weeks ago.

Yay, he's fine. I thought he did a really good job in the movie. The problem is he is a horrible piece of shit. That's my question. All this stuff is coming out? Is Franko brother any better or worse than James Franco? Because, damn, if James Franco wasn't my long time crush for the longest time. Oh, yeah.

Just every piece of information you find out about him is worse than the last. Yeah. And so I saw a Franco brother and I was like, okay, he's got some potential. He's got similar eyes and a similar smile. And I thought maybe this can be a hot Franco who's not an asshole, but not the case. Well, I don't know. I don't know about the brother. I was just talking about James Franklin.

Oh, yeah. Original Franco is a bad man. Yeah, very, very, very bad. Bad, like bad in multiple ways, like annoying bad, predatory bad, just a range of bad. Yeah, just ecological asshole. It's just all, it's all bad. But he still got that face. I still am very attracted to him.

I have to like smother it down inside of me. Yeah. But he was really good in the disaster artist. He was. We watched the room right afterwards too. I mean, it's like, he did a really good fucking job. I am ashamed to him for like, not that long, but like a week and a half. I thought everyone was talking about the movie Room with Jacob Tremblay.

They're redoing room. Slap him back in. How bad was it for that kid? With James Franco, like, this does not sound like a good idea. And then I, and then I woke up and got with it. I would say one of the moments from the Golden Globes that I definitely didn't like. And it was a James Franco moments when James Franco won. And Tommy Wissot, the guy, you know, the guy that he played in the movie went on stage with him.

And James Franco was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then Tommy Wissau leaned over to the mic to say something. And James Francoe went, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, and just pushed him away. Yeah, that was rude. That was so rude. was so amazingly rude. Just let the weirdos speak. That's what everyone got. That's what he's there for.

Yeah. And that's why you're there. Like, you're there because of him, basically, right? Let the weirdos say weird things. And also, that would have been probably the most interesting part of the night. Easily. Yeah. Because he would have said something so fucking weird.

I would have loved to hear what he wanted to say. Yeah. I don't even remember what James Franco said. No, because it was nothing. It was stupid. Tommy was so he would have, like, went up there and started talking about, like, his underwear line or something. Yeah.

Yeah. That would have been much, but the whole, that was the thing, the whole, I think that everybody, it was like, it was like, you know, and I thought the women, like, a lot of women brought activists with them, which was made the red carpet really cool and interesting to me. And that was like, I was like very earnestly and sincerely, like very pro the times up thing for that reason. I feel like a lot of men, like no men said anything about it in any speeches. And men, I think that were, they didn't know what to do. I feel, the whole night, it was like everyone was just nervous. Like, like, Ryan Seacrest was just like, he's like talking. to these brilliant women of color activists and he's like, have a good time! Like, he was like, so stressed out, you know? But like, and then like a lot of people in their speeches, they felt, I feel like they tried to talk, like, like, I told you,

Nicole Kimman was just like, we need to start the conversation. But she didn't say what the conversation was about or what the conversation is. I think that was a given what the conversation was. Sure, but I just, the phrase start the conversation. It's just like so, you so often, it like, is so meaningless. I think they did that about a year ago. Yeah, right.

conversation been started. Right. This conversation's been started. Like, what, like, let's have the conversation. And also, more specifically about Nicole Kidman and more into the realm of fun territory, her kisses with Keith Urban were disgusting. I do not like them. I do not appreciate it.

Did you see her, like, mouthy standing up? But I'm sure there's gifts of them. Like, like, mobile moving across the room, mouths on each other, open-mouthed kisses. Blind items saying Nicole Kidman was three sheets of the wind the whole time. Hell, yeah. Go faw. I say go for ha. I just love Nicole Kidman so much.

I love her too, and I'm glad she won. I thought she'd absolutely deserve to win for Big Little Eyes. Well, her conversation starting was all about domestic violence. Yes, but I don't think she even really said domestic. That's why I mean the start the conversation about what, because Big Little Lies is about domestic violence, which is, of course, like, domestic violence and all violence against women is, like, connected, but, like, it is, like, are you talking about the conversation started by Big Little Lies? Are you talking about the conversation started by Harvey Weinstein?

I just feel like it behooves us to talk about the things that we say we were talking about. You know, and if we're not going to talk about them, that's like Alexander Scarsgaard was just like, thank you to my family. Goodbye. Goodbye. He had nothing else to say. I think it was the director that had that really awkward moment with Big Little Eyes. Like, I want to thank everybody who worked with me, especially Nicole Kidman.

Not to say that the rest of you aren't fan. It's just that I had more scenes with her. I forgot about that. All of you are also great too, but you know, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Goodbye. I forgot about that.

That was him. That was Scars Guard. He did the, and he was like, and this is like just a little thing, but he was like, he was like, yeah, especially Nicole Kidman. Not that she's more talented than any of the girls. Girls, no. And it was like, I could see him and said me like, I should have said girls!

Whipa! And then he just like panicked his way through it. And he's so beautiful that he looked fine and not panicking. And no one is, I'm sorry. No one's upset. Oh, look at him. Oh, he doesn't know what to say. But if it was Tommy Wissau who would have done.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I would love to hear what he had to say about time. James Franco likes to sleep with little girls. Yeah, right. Watch none of the men have said anything about Times Up except that Tommy Wissau would have said something. That would have been fantastic.

It would have been great. It really would have been. I would have loved to have fucking seen that. I also wonder if James Franco and Tommy Wissau had like a long conversation about Tommy was so wanting to say something and him telling James Franco what he wanted to say. say in James Freeman, we were like, you can't say that. Yeah.

Like you just, you're not gonna, you can't say that at all. Ah, God, but I would have fucking loved it. Yeah, yeah, that, yeah, and I agree. Because there wasn't, it was just like there wasn't, you know, usually the Golden Globes, everyone gets all drunk and sloppy. And I just feel like, you know, there was a couple, like Oprah's speech was great. Of course. Of course.

She looks. God damn fantastic. She looked great. And that whole, like power table there, like Viola Davis. and Oprah and Stedman. They were front and center. So it was definitely like there was cool moments, but it was just, you know,

I feel like it certainly wasn't to romp. Not that it should have been if everyone was talking about violence against women, but I just feel like it was, everyone didn't know quite how to do it. And then it was like we were having this conversation, but then of course, you know, kind of in terms of the actual structure it remained a very male-dominated

and very white-dominated thing. And then when Natalie Portman did her thing about here are the all-male nominees, that was all of the men, like, the cutting to the men's faces who were nominated after she did that was those faces were great because they were all just like, what did I do?

Yeah, but also, it's not their fault. It's not their fucking fault. It's not. It's kind of what I feel like. They're just like, I didn't, I made a movie. I didn't ask for this. I don't think that it has to be their fault, but it is true that it was like this whole nightest about saying women are being

treated unequally and only five men were nominated, but it was just their faces. It wasn't that they were angry or defensive, but they were all, like, their faces were all conveying, like, I guess it's true. Like, it was like, uh, like, Yerimo del Toro was just like, he like kind of shrugged into like, eh? Yeah. Like, they were trying their best.

It was, uh, I mean, he did make a fuck a fish movie, which I refuse to call it anything besides the fuck of fish movie. Well, don't fucking spoil it for me. It's, you watch a trailer? No. I haven't seen the movie. I have seen it. Have you seen the fucking trailer?

I won't watch it. I highly recommend it. She falls in love with a fucking fish. It's very good. Well, I plan on watching it this weekend. I was going into it blind. Oh, you should watch the trailer. I want to watch the trailer.

I want to go into, I like going into movies like that totally blind, not knowing where I'm going. I don't know. It's too whimsical. I don't think I like whimsy. I think that's why I hate Winnie to Pooh. Oh, I hate whimsy. Yeah. But Dale Moore del Toro is not whimsical.

Yeah, it's dark. Yeah, it's super dark. He's sad and dark. Yeah, there's like there is an element to it of whimsy to it. but it's a dark whimsy. Dark magic. It's a whimsy I'm comfortable with. Agreed.

Yeah. And I didn't see Lady Bird, so I don't know whether that was interesting or not. That's so good. Have you guys seen It It's It's so good. I want to go watch that. It is so good. It is so good. My only issue is that the guy that played Galilee, he did a fantastic job, and this is not his fault.

He didn't look creepy enough. I know what the real Galuli looks like. It's like he just is. It's like porn stash from Orange as the New Black should have been him. It's like he needed to just, like, it looked like he couldn't be that guy. You know what I mean? Like he just didn't have the air on his face. He looked like an actor.

Yes, he looked like a hot dude. And I just couldn't, that was the only thing I couldn't get past. Yeah. But Allison, fucking Janney. She is great. Did you see her outfit? She had a big parrot on her shoulder? Yeah.

She looked great. She's fantastic. And I love her public persona. I like Francis McDormann's public persona. She doesn't give. I like older women who clearly don't give any fucks at all left, you know? Oh, yeah. I really like that.

No fuck's given, hashtag. And what's your name? Margot Robbie from Itania, hot as the day is long. I had no idea. Margo Robbie. Good Lord. She's a creature. I had no idea.

I had no idea. Henry hung out with her a lot because of Wall Street. And I remember when they were shooting against and he's like, there's this girl, he's like, Margo was like, he's like, she is fantastic, she's Australian, and like she is a down to earth, like, beer

drinking, awesome fucking time. Because her whole thing is that, like, she was just walking on a beach in Australia and she did like modeling stuff like that and someone saw her and was like, that one and like brought her to LA. And like the fact that she can also act amazingly but apparently it like, Henry

kept saying that like, she's just a great person. Oh, that's great. I knew that I had seen her and other things, but like my most recent image of her was her and I, Tanya, and they do a great job of just kind of making her look like a regular person and like not like with like flawless glowing, gorgeous makeup and all of that. And so when I saw her at the Golden Globes, I was like, hubba, hubba. Yeah, she was in Suicide Squad.

That's right. Yeah, that was the Harley Klan. Yeah. Yeah, well, Wall Street. She, but she she's so good in I, Tanya. For some reason, I went through a weird Tanya Harding phase, like a year ago. I think we talked about it. I remember that. Yeah, I watched, like, I watched a surprise me at all. And I just, like, got really into it.

So I feel like I know, I know, like, her cadence and everything. She fucking nailed it. I can't wait to watch the 2020 two-hour special that's coming out. I know. I'm going to fucking watch it. The 30-for-30 is very good. Hell, yeah. For 30-for-30 on the Tanya Harding.

Because it seemed, it kind of seems like now that Tanya Harding's finally being like, all right, yeah, I heard him talking about it. I didn't tell them to stop it, but I didn't tell them to do it. Because back when the 30 for 30 happened, she was like, I had nothing to do with it. I heard nothing at all. I never knew. Denied, deny, deny, deny it. But it sounds like these days she might be coming a little closer towards, yeah, I kind of do it a little bit.

Interesting. Which would make me respect her more. Yeah, I'm totally here for her redemption. And I'm kind of interested to see what Nancy Kerrigan thinks about. it. And Allison Janie, God damn it. But she's so fucking good. Wait, I have a page seven specific inquiry I wanted to make.

Somebody at a party like two years ago told me that I looked like Shersha Ronan and I did not know who that was at the time. What an amazing compliment, but you do. You definitely do. And then I saw her at the Golden Globes and Giddy was like, that's the person who that person at the party said you look like. And I was like, no. And then throughout the rest of the night, I was like,

I do look like her. You do. Such as by the end of the night, I was kind of weirded out by it. She's the one that. She was in Brooklyn. last year and she's in Lady Bird this year. And she's Irish. God, I mean, Brooklyn is still like. Oh, you don't say. Cherisha.

Did you have to look up how to say her name? Oh, Maher, you're telling me the Chersa's Irish. And that you two look alike. I did not know how to say your name, but for some strange reason, my husband did. Interesting. Yeah. So now I know. You're going to love Lady Bird, especially as like we were all, like we were both in high

school at that time because I think it's set in like 2004 or something. Oh, okay. And it's set like them in high school and just watching it just like, damn, right on, baby. A kind of like mildly embarrassing random thought that I had whilst watching the Golden Globes, I was like, when I was a kid, there was the only woman with short hair

was that I remember that was famous was Ellen. Such that I remember being in sixth grade and asking my parents like, why do if you have short hair and you're a woman does it necessarily mean you're gay? And they, like, very nervously stumbled through that question.

That's a fun question to get through. Because I, like, I had liked boys already for a long time, but I was like, I think I must be gay because the only other woman who looks anything like me has short hair. And I had just never seen another woman with short hair except for, like, somebody was, like, Reba McIntyre, but she had, like, her country.

It was, like, not just, like, it was judged. Yeah, yeah, it was jubed. Yeah, it was jubes. And at the Golden Globes, there was, like, many, beautiful short-haired women including Michelle Williams. Michelle Williams. Cherosharonin. And a couple of other people

who I can't think of right now, but I felt blessed to have some more beautiful short-haired women out there. Role models. Do I have to cut off my hair again, Molly? Do I have to do it? I'll do it for you. I won't do it for anyone else. I'll do it for you. Well, I don't need it now, but there might be some other child out there

who's wondering whether she can be straight if she has short hair. I can't do that, though. I can't do it with some random child. You don't have to because Michelle Williams is doing it for him. Well, we've been talking about the outfronts at the Golden Globes. Let's take a look at backstage. It's time for Blind Adam!

Yeah, we can't see them! These are gross. I can't wait to hear them. How drunk were they? I want to drink with Alice in fucking Jay. Yes. Can you imagine how much fun she is to be drunk with? She is my number one from all the people who are there.

I think who I would want to get drunk with. Oh, fuck yeah. Well, let's start with, like, just the pre-show. people had to deal with before the show even started. Let's do it. This A-plus list, mostly movie actress slash sometime director, has a 14-page list of demands for the producers of the Golden Globes. And a lot of those demands had to do with one of her romantic rivals also being present.

And these two do not appear in the same place at the same time very often at all. Whoa. They had one man in common. They have one man in common? One man in common. Oh, yeah. Two women who didn't want to be there because they have a man in common. Yeah, two women who don't like being in the same room together.

Angelina Jolie. And? Jennifer Aniston. Woo! Hey! Nice! Yeah! It's apparently Angelina Jolie that had like a 14-page list of demands.

Damn. To like make sure that Jennifer Aniston does not come anywhere near her. Well, there were other things involved too, but that was a big part of it. But even though they both hate them. Brad now. So should they be united by that? Is that there's tepid, tepid word on the street that Jennifer Anderson and Brad Pitt have been seen together lately. Oh.

Yeah. It's out there. Oh, it's out there. And also Angelina Jolie showed up with her oldest son, Pax. I saw. Who has grown the fuck up. We're old now. I was like, I thought he was a kid still.

I think, I mean, I think he's just in the weird puberty. I think he's a teen. Yeah, yeah. But it's like, so she ain't got no bad. Wait, so his name is Pax Pitt? Pax Pitt. I think it's Pax Jolie-Hyfin Pitt. Oh, okay, that's better, I guess.

Paxe Jolie Pitt? Yeah, it ain't no Gunt Gaines, but I'll take it. He's like a little man now. Yeah, he's cute. She did have a weird feather duster on, but, you know, I'll give it to her. I just want to go ahead and throw out a shout out to the fucking Facebook thread of everybody on, walking the red carpet. It was fantastic, you guys.

I completely followed it, and it made me very much smile. Yeah, I followed it too. That was a lot of fun. And it was great because, yeah, it was like, that was what I needed, like a fun, smart, you know. Conversation, yeah. But hilarious commentary throughout. It was great. Well, let's stay for immediately before the show, and things were already getting weird.

Okay. According to a security honcho at the Beverly Hilton, this foreign-born A-minus list actress who was having a nice award season was involved in some very hot and heavy sex inside a stairwell before the ceremony even began. Her partner was not her partner. And according to the security guy, it was a very odd position. She was behind him in some contorted way with both her ear and his both exposed. What? How?

Wait a second. I'm trying to imagine this. exposition that I could do like that. I don't know if I can. So they're at, they're cheek to cheek. We'll keep it classy here.

It kind of sounds like they're just rubbing butts. Which, I mean, you know what? If that gets you off and that's your kinkgo for you. Please tell me that it's Nicole Kidman and Alexander Scarsgarz. No, no. I mean, we're not even done yet. A guard interrupted their adventure

and escorted them back out into the flowing crowds streaming to the ballroom. Apparently the guard also got a few seconds of video of it too. What bad security. Bad security. Rubbing butts. I don't know. Actually, I don't know quite how to give you the hint on this one, but they're both playing in a Netflix series. They're both who, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. I imagine it's a Netflix show that I do not watch. I'm going to guess the crown. Yes. Okay.

Foreign, do know, I haven't watched the crown, although I do want to watch the crown. So two foreign-born and one is an A-min, you said A-minus? A-minus. That was why I thought Nicole Kidman, although I guess she's great. I really don't think this woman is A-minus. Claire Foy? Do you know Claire Foy? I don't.

She's in it. She's in the crown. Then the guy is Matt Smith. Well, I mean, I know everyone's obsessed. Oh, the Doctor Who. Yeah, the Doctor Who guy. He plays Prince Philip in the crown, or King Philip in the crown. Oh, I don't find.

He's very good at it. I don't find him attractive in the least, though. Yeah. Really? No. Have you, you haven't seen any of the crown yet, right? I've not seen any of the crown. I feel like we'd get a better idea of the monarchy if we watched it.

I think like that's a thing. I think it's part of it. Our hobby of pretending to know things about the monarchy could be enriched by watching the crown. I mean, I do kind of like to just make it up. But there is a picture of the two of them post-butt rubbins. But that's not her husband? No, no, that is not her husband.

They're on the red carpet together. This is after they were rubbing butts in a stairwell. He's so bony. Oh, and she was wearing one of those jacket. What are they? Suit jackets, dresses. I like it. She looks good.

Damn, they're rubbing ass. She's pretty. Matt Smith is, is, he's a weird looker. He's a weird looker. Yeah, he's fine. I mean, if he was like a prince or a king, you know. He looks, he's definitely more handsome in the crown that he is in Doctor Who. I don't think I'd rub my ass against his ass.

He's got a regal thing. Oh, got him. Gotcha. I don't have any strong feelings about Doctor Who, but I will say there are two Doctor Who's I want to fuck, and none of them is Matt Smith. One of them is David Tennant. David Tennant. I figured you'd say that, yeah. Whoa. Oh, my God.

Have you seen Broad Church? No, I haven't. It is. You know, it's hard for me. I shy away from it. I know I can just put subtitles on. It's devastating. But watch it for just, watch it just for the amount that you want to fuck David.

It's like this horrible tragedy of a show when I spend the entire time thinking about fucking. fucking David Tenet. So watch that for him, David Tenant. And then also Peter Capaldi, man, for a Silver Fox, he is my number one Silver Fox, who's also in, what's that movie, In the Loop? Are you talking about like the latest doctor? Jesus Christ, Mom. Let's see it.

I got to see this. You probably have a picture of him looking weird like the doctor. No, I've got to pick. It's a picture of him at Comic-Con. He's just being a regular dude. He is a Silver Fox. Jackie. You're not going to like it.

Let me get your. your opinion on this quote unquote silver fox. Okay. I shouldn't have even said anything. That's a bad picture of him. That's a bad picture of him. Click on the one next to it. Molly.

Molly. I'm not the only one. Do not act like I'm an abnormal person. I know you're not abnormal. I have, I got a lot of my weird ones too. I understand, but I'm aghast. He is silver-foxey. Hottest when he was a little bit younger, like in In the Loop.

Okay, all right. Let's check out some more pictures. I see maybe. Okay. Okay. You see? He's got the wayward eyes. I mean, he definitely looks like a weird British man.

He looks, it's definitely a British face. And I think he's actually Scottish, so it's even weirder. Oh, well, I mean, exactly, the Brogue helps. Yeah. Yeah. The Scottish are definitely the oddest-looking people I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. He's an odd looker, definitely.

Like, I'd probably fuck David Ten at first, but for Silver Foxes in general, Peter Capaldi, man, there's got to be other people out there who are with me on them. I'm sure. I'm sure that there are. I am not, you know, Silver Fox shaming you. I just, it just took my breath away from him. Marcus found an especially unflattering picture of him. That was the first picture that showed up on Google. I didn't search for that.

Unflattering Peter Capaldi. I love it. Oh, my God. Yeah, no, he's a weird, he's a weird, but a handsome one. All right, now let's get into what went on in the middle of the ceremony. Yes, please. According to an actor who is hanging out there, this actress, permanent A-list actress, who is more famous for television, was busy snorting a lot of something,

while bent over in the famous storage room off the side of the kitchen at the Hilton, where most people go to smoke or have a quickie. Maybe the cans of tomato sauce and rows of glasses in there, excite people. Wait, tomato sauce? Just go with it, it's fine. It's just a color. I think it's the

blind item writer is trying to paint a scene and fail miserable. Okay, gotcha. We don't need a scene, blind writer. No. No, they said this was just after the midpoint in the ceremony. Apparently, when this actor, different from the person I mentioned before, A minus list, mostly

television actor from a hit cable show who loves his booze, asked this actress to share what she was Norton, she told him, quote, you'd have a better shot of fucking me in the ass while I'm been overdoing this than me actually sharing this with you. Whoa. Wow. Feisty girl.

Oh, yeah, feisty girl. And think about a feisty woman, 90s sitcom, iconic role, and mostly just not, she's been in a couple of movies here and there, but she's mostly just known for this one role. Roseanne. Roseanne. Whoa. And I mean, that sounds like the brash response. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I thought she was all natural now. She's a fucking almond farmer in Hawaii. I think she's still a bitch, though. No, I've seen many blocks. Roseanne Barr is way off the wagon right now. I've seen quite a few blind items this month. I wonder if it has to do with the upcoming Roseanne coming back, which we do need to talk about and how we feel about it.

Okay, okay, okay. That's sidebar. And the guy was Norman Redis, that dude from Walking Dead. That dude, is it that handsome dude? Yeah, the one that plays the bow and arrow guy. Yeah, that dude. I saw him on stage. He was, like, presenting an award or something.

I don't know why he was even there, but I was like, who is that man? And I cannot figure it out because I don't watch Walking Dead. And then, thankfully, Ginihan told me, and he is fine. Mm-hmm. I don't want to watch Walking Dead for some reason. I'm just not interested. It's fine. I can't do it.

I can't. We've talked about this. I'm not a big zombie person. Yeah, it's just like six seasons of zombies. I understand that people, I understand why people like it completely. It's like my whole family's obsessed with it. So I've watched multiple episodes. I'm like, I get it.

It's just not my thing. But is there, are there bangathons, like in the post-apocalyptic zombie world? I don't think they've done a bangathon yet. No, there hasn't, they haven't run across. As far as I know, haven't really run across like a sex cult. It's like, all right, we're just going to bang from now on. And then we'll figure it up. Because I think if you have bangathons, that's how you die.

Oh, you got to keep moving. You got to keep moving. They're all just running. Yeah. I feel like they're on the move all the time. There's not much room for writhing. I think that's what my problem is at this point, out. I'm out.

I just killed myself. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired. I want a bath. I want a bang-a-thon. You'll get those things in heaven? Is that the theory? But I'm glad, man, Roseanne is, uh, is, uh, she's a species spicy meat, ball.

She is. Oh, yeah, she is. Now, this last blind item, this is one from one of the after parties. And this one isn't as gross as it is, well, it's kind of gross, but it's not, like, sexy, sexy. It's a conversation. Okay. And I think it might be better if I just went ahead and told you who, who. is having this conversation before I read the blind item.

Okay. It's Polly Shore cornering Laura Dern. Oh, wow. Speaking of sexy, I did not think I had any feelings for her, and then I heard her voice, and I was just like, I love your voice. Follow her on Insta. Really? She is great.

I love Laura Dern. She's the fucking best. I did not love her in Star Wars, but I liked her. her in Big Little Lies. Laura Dern is fantastic. And Jurassic Park. I mean, yeah. Blue Velvet, right?

Yeah. She's in Blue Velvet? Yeah. She's the girl. Oh. Yeah, and blue velvet. Yeah, and of course, yeah. Well, I'm not going to give you a spoiler for those of you haven't seen a certain

thing that she's in the new season of. I see. Oh, I know what you're talking about. You know what I'm talking about. Oh. Oh. Oh, yeah. All right.

Well, let's just imagine this conversation between these two people. Great. This back in the day, A-list, mostly movie actor who still has fame from that brief comic run was at an after-party last night. A-list. He says, you say Polly Shore, everyone's going to know who you're talking about. You know Polly Shore. He says that the recent movement has really cut into the number of women he feels comfortable hitting on at parties. Oh, no.

Oh, no. He's talking to, like, the most dignified woman. In Hollywood. In Hollywood. He told a Golden Globe winner from last night that he now focuses entirely on strippers, hookers, and groupies. Jesus, good. Just picture Laura Dern's face while he's talking to her.

I just imagine he's dressed like the Stephen Tyler PJs, Stephen Tyler PJs with the fucking pilgrim hat on from the son-in-law. And the actress winner from last night just raised her eyebrows and took a ship of her champagne before looking for a way out. Oh, man. Yeah, because what do you say to that? Cool. Good for you.

Those women are women, too. Treat them well. Goodbye. Good Lord, man. If you don't say that's a Laura Dern. Yeah. You'll find fucking Andy Dick, and y'all can have that conversation. She's doing the same goddamn thing.

Wow, that is, that's wonderful. That's thinking about the amount of conversations at parties that happened where it was just women being like, um, I need a way out. Especially as shitty dudes got drunker. You imagine the conversation. God, do you imagine all the conversations at those parties? So am I like allowed to flirt? No, what?

I, excuse me. Oh, what, I can't kiss you? Oh, I can't kiss you now. Excuse me. I need to get another drink. There were some, quite a few blind items about, like, conversations that people were having, and they were fucking foul. Yeah.

Like, just really, like, not even worth, but it's good because, you know, they talked about these conversations, like, and this guy doesn't have a job today. Yeah, yeah. Where I think in past years, you know, someone would have a conversation where it was like a Netflix guy. It was like, you know what? I totally fuck her. I bet her push it tastes like cotton candy. But not that old bitch over there.

I bet her pussy tastes like moldy cheese. And it was this guy was like a net. When men could be mad. Yeah. I mean, what can they even say anymore if they can't say that? And he kept saying like, bro. Yeah, bro. I bet it tastes like cotton candy, bro.

And he was saying it like to like an A list direct. and like another like top like agent and he's fucking being loud and they're like and he does not have a job today. They're like writing his name down and passing it around. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, like fire Joe Brombe gang gang, you know, he's fucking awful. I feel like there was probably some security guard that was told that they have to write down the names of every, it's like as they got more sauce of like the people that were going to

be fired the next day. Right? There had to be, there's got to be a list somewhere. Yeah, there's got to be. Oh, Laura Dern, that's the best person to talk to about this. Oh, my God. It's Polly Shore, cornering Laura Dern to tell me that. You know, now I just sit on strippers, you know?

That's just the way it goes. Just, hmm. Interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Laura Dern, who on Christmas Day, there's all these pictures because she went to all these different hospitals and did a bunch of volunteering, like, through Christmas, because that's what she does every Christmas.

Really? Because she's the best. See, I had a big Laura Dern gap. Hadn really thought about her since apparently. the mid-90s and then now again with big I know she's been working the whole time but like I feel like there's a durnaceance going on oh there's a durnasance happening I like it I enjoy I like hashtag durnasance I think we got to make you're making it big hashtag durnas I don't think I didn't invent that but I will amplify it oh I like it I'm still proud of you I'm giving you my pride

all right time for the list who's on the list my guess got to have that list we didn't have to sink it up this time. I know, and that's so good. You know, that's just why I call it for because we're actually not going to do a list this week. I just wanted to give you guys, like, a chance to, like, sing it together because I know you'd really like that. But I figure it's a good list.

It's a long list. So I figured we'd wait until next week to cover this list. Okay. Sounds good. It's a good list. It's a list you're all going to like. But, yeah, so we're going to wait. And, you know, we've reached the end of the show.

Oh, no. I was too excited all time. I don't want it to be over. Why are you looking at a picture of Mike Myers on your computer? Oh, I found this. The headline is Mike Myers hosts game show for six months in disguise, and no one notices. And it's so weird. They, like, rebooted the gong show.

And I don't know if it's, like, I've heard of this show before. I think it's like a British show. Actually, the gong show is not a British show. It was his 70s show. Ah, well, you know. Yeah, samesies, samesies. So being from the set, like, seriously, that modern day England is the same as 70s America?

Yes. British people? Yeah, I mean, it's got to be. It's got to be. I mean, it's the same, you know, everyone's got ponchos on. So obviously, you're going bad. Everyone's got ponchos on. I have a friend that is in England.

And I feel like she's got a lot of potchos on. Panchos. I know which friend you're talking about. I think she wore ponchos before she went to England. Yes. Maybe she just likes ponchos. Oh, but she just likes Pantros. She's just a poncho girl.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wish I could wear a poncho, but I can't. Anyway. But is Mike Myers is his persona British? Yeah, yeah, that's the whole thing. I guess he's playing like another, he's playing a comedian that ran the gong show or is it? I think what it is, like I was looking it up a little bit,

and I think he's just a guy that it was a brink. British host. Like he was a British talk show host or a game show host that is making his American debut. Ah, the trick. Let's watch a, uh, let's watch a trailer for this new gone show. Hell yeah, he's got such a dumb hat on. He's got such a dumb fucking hat on. Here we go. This summer, a legend returns and a legend arrives. Thursday, June 22nd, the gone show is back. Who's this cheeky monkey? Yay! That's his cats, I'll point at him.

Who's a cheek g-moket? Huge. Gong. You put this together last night. Legendary host Tommy Maitland makes his American debut. We're just here for funzies. The Gong show.

Did the guy in the 70s wear that hat? No, I think there was Monty Hall in the 70s. It was an American show, I think. Interesting. I know it was an American show, but I don't think there was a British version. Maybe there was.

I don't know the fucking history of the Gong show. I don't know, maybe. I don't know. I feel like it's something my parents talked about a lot. Yeah, I definitely, yeah. It's a, yeah. I'm familiar with it in the way that I know that it was an American thing. I just can't believe that no one knew it was him. I mean, he definitely, it sounds almost Shrek-like.

And the fact that the catchphrases, who's a cheeky monkey? And everybody points at him is gold. Once I looked at, in the pictures it doesn't look like him, but in the videos it does look like him. And it also sounds like it. I just feel like the way he carries him. But at the same time, I don't think anyone has heard of this show. I haven't heard anyone talking about the new gong show.

Yeah, not me. But I don't think we talk to people who talk about things like the new gong show. Yeah, I guess that's true. But, I mean, I still want to watch it. I don't really care about that kind of, I mean, I think it's going to be dumb. It's like Vegas-style acts, it seems like. Yeah, it's like America's got talent, but there's a gong instead of a... Well, it's people doing weird stuff.

That's the whole thing with the gong shows. You do weird shit that's kind of like out the beaten path. I see. So it's not just a talent show, it's like a weird talent show. Rip Taylor was a judge in the early days of the show, way back right. Now that's a fucking cheeky monkey. It's the cheekiest of monkeys. He is the cheekiest of monkeys.

Oh, man. So it's like, so that was over the summer, and they just got renewed for a second season, and I'm going to watch the fuck out of it. Yeah. I think they played it right. Just let the gong show go on the lowdown for a while, and then once the second season comes like, hey, guys, it was Mike Myers the whole time.

Well, and that was the old thing. I guess people kept asking him if it was him, and he kept just not answering the question, and he finally said, like, yeah. It sounds just like him. That's fun. Good for him. Yeah, that's really fun.

You imagine how much fun he is having doing that and just being undercover like that? Yeah. I don't know. I would love to do something like that where it's like, oh, no, I just got a bunch of shit on my face. I'm a cheeky monkey. Wow, there was a lot of different, like, recurring characters.

There was a Gene Jean-Gine, the dancing machine way back in the 70s. Interesting name. Yeah, Scarlet and Red. Larry, the evil villain. Chuckles Fables. No, he's Fables. The Worm, that started there.

Like the dance move? Well, not started there. They just did it a lot. Oh, okay. There's a worm fans. Bork. There was a guy named Bork, who was a performance artist. The holidays, Albert and Mitzie.

Oh, old Albert and Mitzie, eh? You know what would be fun is to get Blaze and watch the original gong show. Hell yeah. You'd go back to back and be like, this is really fucking weird, especially in the 70s. Yeah, because...

Lawless! I'll bet their tastes were not as good. Oh, I bet it was a fucking cheeky monkey. I don't know with that. Cheeky monkey. I wonder why that's his catchphrase. Because it's perfect for it. Mike Myers is an odd genius in certain ways.

He is. He really is. He knows. He guarantees. you everyone at home, every time he goes, who's the Jakey monkey? They all go. It's true. He knows what the people want.

Yeah, he does. And he got to give it to him, guys. Well, thank you very much for coming in. Oh, my God, I'm so happy. As I was walking here, I had big playlist on Truffle and walking on, walking on broken glass. That came on, and I was so happy. He was like, it's a sign.

It's a sign that I'm immensely happy. Yeah. Love you guys. Love you, Jackie. We'll talk to you next week. Bye.