Page 7 - Hot Frosty WATCHALONG

Episode Date: November 28, 2024

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! The Empress of Thanksgiving has decreed it's time to get sloppy with Hot Frosty! HAPPY TURKEY DAY Y'ALL! GOBBLEGOBBLE! Don't forget to grab your RumChunka and check out the annual Thanksgiving Day Parade Stream over on TWITCH! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's time for it. All I know is that I am pouring up a thick jug of fireball that I am going to be mixing with. You guessed it, rum chata. And I feel sad for both of you guys that you don't get this holiday, man, look at how much. Don't feel bad for me. Fireball I just poured. I was inspired by the rumchata. I went to look at it at the liquor store before I came here.

And guess what I saw next to it? Oh, just a little looky-loo. I went to look at it and next to it was Coquito, another dairy-based alcohol Christmas drink. I love a Coquette. And so I'm drinking a Coquito. Fuck yeah. And it's going to be awesome. Have you thought about putting any fireball inside your Cotito?

I have not. But Holden's holding up two different bottles. You double fisting all them? Yeah. Well, one's just, you know, my pariet. I'm having a spritzer. I'm doing a. It is called C-glass Savignon Blanc, 2020.

Are you taking like an eggnog shooter or anything or? No no gnaug, no cream-based alcohol. Where is your dairy? Not just a really soft. What? Why? No dairy. A soft light spritzer for this guy because it is 5 p.m. for Jackie and I.

Let's really establish that. Okay. It's reasonable. Everybody look at how thick. Yeah. And I wish you could see how it is. Well, you can see. It looks like a donkey's coffee.

We should explain. Yeah, Al Pacino would love it. We should explain. to everybody. If you want to see a full video of us watching with the actual movie playing, you can go to our Patreon, patreon.com forward slash page 7 of a podcast

and see the rum chunk of glass the check you just held up and see the movie. So you don't even have to time anything to it. Just sign up to our Patreon at the $5 layer. And for all of you patrons already, this is just a nice little,

I like to be able to do this for you guys. So you have this option as well as having it on the RSS feed. If you'd rather listen to it that way. We will do a count in for our listeners. Have we even told people that we're watching Hot Frosty? I think we're Barry in the lead here. We're watching Hot Frosty. We're watching Hot Frosty.

What's the deal? Give me the intel. I'm assuming that is the name of this episode. So I'm assuming people do. People. It's called Hot Frosty Watch Along. Hot Frosty Watch Along. Yes, when a young...

I will say I want to highlight the word widow in this. Oh, God. What is the golden bachelorette? Oh, yeah. Oh, I know. Yeah, is it going to open with weeping again? I can't wait. I can't wait to see how sad Lacey Chabair is in this movie.

Do you think, all right, we haven't seen this movie, but I feel like we could call out some things that we can drink to. Good, I know. Sure. Let's just read the description to start. When a young widow's magic scarf brings a dashing snowman to life, can he help her rediscover romance, laughter, and holiday. cheer before he melts away. I'm sad because this is intimating that she's not going to fuck the snowman and that he is only going to help her fuck other people.

It is TV PG2 though, which... Sad. Yeah, yeah. It makes me, it is very different than what we read over on Jackie's book club. I thought, I'm thinking, like, carrot nose is going inside of a hole. Like, I want all of it. You're going to have to adjust your expectations pretty significantly. Real sad.

We're talking about a magic scarf. This is going to be, my friend watched this with a group of 10-year-olds recently, and they had a great time. I'm sure they did. So maybe we drink then every time something magic happens. Okay. I would say we drink then. I think that we drink every time Frosty is way too hot of a human being, which I'm going to think there's going to be a couple of times. Now, here's the thing we don't know what she does for a little.

living. So if she's up type business woman, drain your drink. Is she a business woman? Is she a sweets owner? You know? Uh-huh.

What are we working with? So I think that go with us on this. Yeah. We'll figure it out as we come up with more rules as we watch it. Right. Good. Good call. You know,

maybe like someone's kids name is like dip it. And maybe every time they say dip it, we got to drink. Every time there's a Christmas themed name. Like Emmanuel. Noel. Like Chris. Yeah. I will say if there's a weird, crazy, tragic swing, like with the other Christmas movie we watched,

Oh, God, I forgot about that until this moment. The beverage. Yeah, there has to be, or if Jackie predicts something very dark, you have to, if it comes true, you have to finish your drink as well. I just hope that we get like a day new maw of like, you know, of her sad again. Right. After all this happens. because guess what?

I'm going to say it, guys, partner's still dead. So no matter what, her first love or second or third. Maybe she'll get visited by the child that she was supposed to have, but then like lost in a car accident. Oh, like a combination of Crossroads and the Brandy Holiday movie. Yes. Yes. If I cry at this, everybody finishes their time.

Everybody finishes the drink. Okay. All right, we might be finishing some drinks at the end here. It sounds like this is several drinks. finished. In every conflict, there's at least one bitch. A huge bitch, a silly bitch. A little baby bitch, a raggedy bitch.

But sometimes it's unclear who the bitch is. I'm Kara Klank. And I'm Jackie Zabrowski. And on our new Colin Advice podcast, we're going to help you figure out who's the bitch. We want to hear your problems, dilemmas, and quandaries. No topic is off limits. Does your coworker flirt with the boss to get ahead? Is your bestie having her destiny?

wedding on a holiday weekend. Is your therapist being clingy? Does your friend keep bringing her toddler to adult parties? Come on, there's definitely a bitch in your life, and we want to hear about it. You can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail, and even call in live to talk to us in person about the alleged bitch in your life. Just go to who's the bitch.com for all the ways you can contact us. New episodes drop every Wednesday starting in October on the last podcast network,

so subscribe now on Apple Spot. or wherever you listen. And tune in to our live stream kickoff on September 30th on the last podcast network Twitch channel where we'll be taking your calls live on air. Help us help you figure out who's the bitch. All right. It is on Netflix. If you're not watching it with us on Patreon.

Yep. It's on Netflix. I'm going to count it now. I'm going to start to start it. And we'll get it going. Here we go. Are you ready, everybody? Get your hands on the thing.

And you're going to also hit it. at the start of the beginning of the word start. At the beginning of the word start, I also skipped the like Netflix logo thing because that's not the technical beginning of the movie. Oh no, you might, is that not the technical beginning of the movie? No, like you run it back to zero. Watch the logo pop and then run it back to zero

because that's not like actually the start. Which is st. Three, two, one, start. Okay, never mind. It maybe it is. Okay, it popped up. All right, never mind. It popped up.

Bubble. Yeah, so just so you guys know there was the baboon. On Netflix. Yeah, bab boom. Okay. Whims of the holiday music. This is a thick drink. It looks thick.

Yep. I'm not my stomach. You're like, oh, I can't believe I've started drinking now. And I'm fine with that, but I'm not fine with putting thick milk drink into my belly. Why? I haven't even eaten today. This is really the first thing I'm consuming past coffee. Wow.

All right. This is not your. Mama's Christmas movie. They're already establishing it. Is it like a Megan Trainer version of a Christmas movie? Yeah, dude.

All about that, Santa. Uh-oh, somebody hates Christmas. Yeah, there was a Christmas festive house, but we're not there. We're at a boring house. She's sad. And normal. Oh, because she's a widow.

She does need to glow up. It's pathetic. Oh, I'll never forget. Why are you? She cold. Maybe because, like, the only thing that kept her warm was the love she had for her husband. Do you have a wish that this will be good or are you excited to see something bad? Good question.

It could be either one. Yeah. I love a bad Christmas movie. I mean, I don't think it will be good. I'm under no delusions. It will be good. No. It's not going to be good.

It's going to be bad. The question is, how bad? Dead kid at the end? or no dead kid at the end bad. Those are really the only two choices. So she needs to call the repair man. Do we think that maybe she doesn't have a job? Was the husband?

The bread. What is she have like a learning disability that keeps her from taking care of her own house and her husband was one. She's dyslexic. She can't use the phone. There he is. Dead.

Dead. And a Crossley record player. By the way, no one get those briefcase record players. They will ruin your records. they seem too good to be true. They are the spin. And I don't even know why you would. The speaker quality is terrible.

Wow. Look at that fake ass. No. Give it. Give it. Give it. We are once again in a town that has a lot of festivals. She's out and about.

I would leave that town for Christmas if my husband had just passed. I think that's good point. Yeah. She should go to a place that doesn't have so many festivals. She's a waitress. She's a waitress, everybody. A waitress.

She's got a job. Oh my god, is she going to fall in love with one of her customers? She's... Is it a customer that she talks to all the time? Okay, her heat is broken. She's not squatting in the house. No. Oh, she's the owner.

The owner, yeah, yeah. Okay, so she doesn't own a bakery. She just owns a diner. You were pretty close to you. Do we know this actress? Very Jennifer Love Hewitt. Lazy Shabair. Lazy Shabair is the Jennifer Love Hewitt of Hallmark Christmas movies. Except she's not the Jennifer Love Hewitt of,

Party of Five because they were both in it. She has a lot of jaw tension, huh? Bro, you should have seen her as a child actress. Yeah, it's just... She's not the gentleman with a random girl. Party of Five. I got you, Emma. You got me.

That is it. So wait, this is an ice sculpture? It's a sculpture contest. It's an ice. Ice sculpture town of mini sculptors? All towns in Christmas movies have a number of festivals. There's a festival every day. Snow sculpture competition.

And it's like festivals that everyone in town participates in all of them. Reclamed bags. Is an incredible ice sculpture artist. Yes, correct. Which is an extremely specific skill. I'll bet you they're all great like cinnamon bun bakers too. Who's the older lady there?

I know her too, right? I don't know. We'll see. You don't know? Oh, yeah, we know her. She's an old slice, bro. I would totally, I would totally. And nah, nah, nah.

Stop there. I bet you would. She's wise. She's too wise for you, Holden. True. Scarf. Scarf. That's a drinking.

Now is. Well, okay, yeah. Oh, because of her magical scarf. Yeah, it's going to be a magic scarf. Is this her mom? No. No. Just some old bitch.

No, she's lonelier than that. I think that they have the shop next door. Theo. Oh, is it? Is Theo the snowman? Or is he dead? No, I'm assuming dead. Dead. I'm assuming dead man, Theo.

I don't think she's talking about a snowman. who's going to turn into a normal man yet. Yeah, the ice man's going to melt and you're going to cry because it's like she's losing another man in her life. Depends on how much rumchata I get it. The bad part of Rusty already makes me cry. I find Frosty to be a devastating song.

Drink. Yeah, a tragic song. Don't you cry, I'll be back again someday. You know, I just need so. Yeah, yeah. How much I am sticking out my neck. for everybody watching this fucking Christmas movie. Why? What's wrong with you?

Oh, before Thanksgiving. I know. This is a Christmas ass movie, bitch. I know, but what are you doing right now? I feel like you're melting. No wonder you're melting. No one can see this who's not on the video, but Jackie's like melting because she's being cursed by the Christmas movie. I know. Yeah, look. The people are listening to it on Thanksgiving.

So I think you need to let yourself embrace it, you know? MJ, any way you could turn your mic up that's being used for Zoom? Also, if you're watching this, you get to see MJ's arcane microphone set up. Whatever the one that goes to Zoom. I mean, that's the one you're going to

bring to life. Go back to that other one. Which one? That one. Oh, that one. Oh, yeah. For sure, that's the one. Magic, it's a magic scarf. They waste no time. Man, they get in. They've barely established anything about any of the characters. They've barely introduced any of the characters.

What other character do you need to know besides hot frosty and Lacey Chabair? I just thought she was going to have one, like, bad day in the life of this lady that it's like, oh. She woke up sad. That's all you need to know, Holden. She's sad. Oh, my God. Is this better with my levels? Thank you.

You're welcome. Good job. Who makes a snow sculpture? Like a fuckable dude. Yeah, look how out of place he's, but all the other ones are just normal. regular snowmen, but I guess if you're going to make a snow sculpture, would you want to make just a regular snowman? That ass. Stough!

Frosty. Gat. Sop up them pussays, okay? Because this is starting to become a little slushy. A hot frosty. Yeah, I didn't ask for a swash man. Come on. More like slut man.

Because it's wet. All right, let's see how hot he is. Whoa. Whoa. Wow. Get closer to his face. Yeah, it is scary. It's creepy.

Ooh. Creepy. I don't like it. Not for me. Not my type. Can we take a drink now? Yeah, this is very much. Yeah, I think we need the drink.

In a bad way. Yeah, we'll take a drink. Also, why does he look 22 years old? Because he's a babe. It's a big face. He's got a very, he's got a very, he's He's got a pronounce, he's got a mask of a face. Yeah, I agree.

Do you think he's hard? Yeah. Or does he have a penis even? I don't think he would, wouldn't he? Did they sculpt him a penis? They didn't sculpt a dick on him? No, it didn't seem like that there was any bottom half. But they probably didn't sculpt him any organs either.

It was a good one. You're killing that old man. Madra! An old man is now shocked. Oh, and that horny lady wants him. reclaimed bags is what it says. Oh my God, he's making it. He just smelled through a pane of glass.

Is he like an infant, you know, mentally? We are 10 minutes in, and this is getting insane. Yeah, he's like a boy man. Yeah, I don't think this man. It says Jack on it. It's a Christmas name. It's a Christmas name. Am I already getting drunk?

Is Jack a Christmas name? Jack Frost. Thank you. MJ I'm sorry I'm a Jackie you think I don't know these things Jackie Frost

Jackie Frost He's gonna fix up her place So would this happen to you Jackie Would your whole place get just destitute MJ too would your whole place get destitute If Gideon or Jeff If I was a widow yeah Got hit by a bus or something

He's already threatened you both I'm going to move in with one of you You think I'm just threatening No I don't I mean I don't know how people Put one foot in front of the other She's doing a great job. Yeah. Also, he's immediately a criminal that it broke and entered and stole.

I just can't believe this is the man they cast to be the hot snowman. Why is that? I feel like usually. What is he serving right now? He's serving like Riverdale, honestly. Like, I feel like a Hallmark Christmas man is supposed to be more lumberjack. Yeah. If you get on it, maybe because he is a snowman, he really.

can't be more lumberjack. He's got to look different than the other ones. I guess. Or like, what's the host of the Golden Bachelor Ritter? He's hosts all of it, right? Oh yeah, that guy. Yeah, that's exactly. The guy that I could never pick out of a lineup. Yeah, that one. That one, that's the guy

who looks like the guys in Hallmark Christmas movies, yes. This guy looks like the guy from, you know, made the Holocaust Children's movie or whatever. Adrian Brody. No. The other Holocaust, the one with, he did Pinocchio. Roberto Benini. He looks a little like Roberto Benini a little bit in a way that makes you go.

Were you really referencing Roberto Benini? Wow. And not Adrian Burney. A little bit. I don't think Mike this beautiful is a children's movie. Right, right. I don't know why you called it a children's movie about the whole best. Well, you know what I mean?

It had a child. Uh-huh. Silly and it. Yeah, definitely not a children's movie. All right, kids, gather around. Just have to watch life is beautiful. Life is beautiful. I think it's the saddest movie I've ever seen.

Oh, so good. So good. Is that Chris Robinson? I think so. He's great. I love him. I guess he's struggling to find work. I hope things get better for him.

No, these movies are weird because now that they're on Netflix, they're this hybrid. They're not as like low status as a Hallmark movie, but they're not a normal movie. Right. I mean, I'm finding the acting to be palatable. Yeah. Except for the snowman guy. Yeah, I don't like him. He's making choices.

Whoa. I love this cop. Oh, ACA, maybe A, not all C's A B's. Jackie, is that interesting. My father is a police officer, so yeah, I do feel that not all Cs are B's. With hot take from Jackie. I think that you do know that. At least one C, not a B.

At least one C, not a B. Wait a second. Is this the guy from Schitts Creek? I was just thinking, we know him. Wait, what, which one? The, like, really cute, the boy toy that was, like, one of her boyfriends. That was really, really nice. Now I've got to look it up.

I'm literally looking up the cast. I'm looking up the cast. Look it up. Okay. We definitely know him. And everybody take a drink. And I do you believe that is. Is me calling something, at least.

Not predicting something very tragic and dark. So you need to say she gets essayed or something. You need to come up with something like that. We can hope in one hand and wish me up. Either one is going to fill up. Either way. I love this version of this edition of these boys. Yeah, and it's the guy from the state, right?

Isn't he from the state? Oh, no. Are we going to love this movie? I know. What movie did we watch that I ended up really loving? It wasn't. The Lindsay Lowen movie last year. The fact we were in this exact situation

doing the movie for Thanksgiving. Yeah. I'm already liking this one better than the Lindsay Lohan movie, which was I still, they faked the kiss and I think if you fake the funk, then you don't have the spunk.

You know what I mean? And you're definitely not gonna sploge all over that. B.H. What are you talking about? Whatever. Shake your head and discuss. despair and disgust all you what, MJ, but I'm doing it as well.

I get it. If you're watching too, if you're listening. People, the listeners don't always get to see us shake our heads at you, but if you're on Patreon, you do. So you get to see the true looks of disappointment. They give me when I make these nut related jokes. So if you've been waiting to sign up for Patreon, then you want to see our looks of pure distaste for a moment.

I just love. I love this side plot. This is very, very funny. What's happening? That he's about to have his reappeux. for sheriff, so he's got to make sure that he solves this case. Oh, yeah. Where are they both sheriffs?

No, just Craig Robinson. Okay. Craig Robinson. I said Chris Robinson. I knew I was wrong. Thank you. Craig Robinson. I don't know.

If something very dark doesn't happen at the end. It's almost... It might just be fun. It's almost nerve-wracking for it to be good. It's like this genre of movie... It's uncanny. You know, this genre of movie isn't supposed to be good. I know her too

It's Katie Mixin I was talking about her on the episode I love Katie Mixen I love he spounding down That's got to be Katie God I was so hot it out by her And Eustbounden Down man Dude I will do anything for her

She's so awesome Yeah what was the one with the weird Other tragic ending the Jackie predicted What was that one? The brandy one with Brandy Brandy Brandy one. You couldn't pay me $5 million to tell you the name of that.

I don't remember what else happens. I remember Brandy is there and her son is dead. I remember a sleigh in the sky and a dead kid. Yeah. Something about hot air balloons. Some bitch who was staying at her house. She's frozen. This man's a snowman.

We'll have to suck his penis in order to keep the water inside. of him. I'm going to have blue balls if they don't sing Frosty the Snowman at some point. Okay. Maybe we can sing it. I don't know. I just feel like I need to hear it. I currently have yellowish green balls. I need to get it checked out. What are you? Alphaba? Is your pussy green? What if that's what she was saying with her eyes when she was staring down the barrel of the camera?

I'm not even listening to you. I'm just staring at Katie Nixon, just being like, love me, love me. that she loved me. I love her. He stole the scarf. They have the same voice, by the way, these two actions. Yeah, they do. I can't tell who's talking.

Who stole? She stole the scarf? I thought that old lady gave it to her. No, she's saying he stole the scarf. He stole the scarf. Oh, maybe he can stay in my cold house. She's really going above and beyond as just the owner of this diner.

Right. Where we've seen her work at, for exactly five minutes. He's the owner. She doesn't need to work. Everybody knows that about owners of restaurants. Yeah, then why did she go in?

They're not always working. Damn. She can be able to take care. I love this, like, the bitchy, honest friend, your husband's dead. You've been in a deep depression ever since. Yeah, girl.

She's just realizing. No, you gotta fuck is, you gotta let him. betray your vagina. There's going to be zero fucking in this. Yeah, I don't want him to fuck. I don't even want them to fall. I don't even want them to fall in love if I'm being honest,

but I think they're going to. See, he's a band. I thought he's going to help her find love again, and I'm hoping that means with a real person and not with a snowman turned into him. You know what? But why is it called hot frosty? You should be called helper frosty.

I guess some people think that this person is a hot frosty. Got it. I'm thinking this right now, I think the inspiration for this was Chimp Crazy. So if we study what happened in Chimp Crazy, we would actually know. Frosty is, what's the Tanka's name? Tanka. Tonda. I went to high school with.

She just said it looks like a girl I went to high school with. It's a mean girl joke. Wow. That's cool. Was she in mean girls? She was in mean girls? Holden. Not Lindsay Lowen.

Lacey Shabare was in mean girl. Shebert was in mean girls. I forget which one she was in Mean Girls. One of the main bitches. Yeah. One of the main bitches. I don't know. I don't know this.

I mean, I've recently watched Mean Girls, by the way. And I don't, I'm just not very familiar with this actors. Not the new Mean Girls, the original Mean Girls. Yeah. I watched both recently. I watched the original so that I could watch the musical. Because I felt weird about watching the musical.

I think you have what I have, which sometimes is just young, white person, blah. Yeah, I think she is a... She just looks like. She'll... Lisa Shabar is a basic... She's a basic-looking actress. And even this guy has a more unique look, but you... I could not remember him at all.

Like, I believe you that he was in Schitt's Creek, which I loved and my wife and I were obsessed with and, you know, but I... I sort of remember him, but it's... Girl, you've got an issue. Yeah. Oh, you mean in the movie. No, the girls got an issue when she's like, You can't just tell everybody you love them.

You can't tell them you love them. Yeah, that's not emotionally available. You're going to leave this dude that you found naked just in your house. He's a magic snowman, Jackie, first of all. Second of all, Lingy's still on the menu, boys and girls. This is very possible we could get some kind of a link, like a, more like a vaguely acknowledged lingus section. No one wants Lingy from a snowman, Holden. I like a little cold on my nethers.

Well, good, because that's what Cosmo Magazine tells every girl to do. Yeah, put an altoid in your mouth. I don't know about altoid. I like a little cold, like... No, I'm going to tell Lexi, don't tell Holden. Just put a bunch of altoids in the mouth. But I know how to suck his dick, and this is how to do it? I mean, how do you even get away with that, Jagging?

It's disgusting. Do you know what your wife does as she gears up? to give you a blowjob? She, what, listens to a tape of your sex tips? No, she pops a bunch of alt-oids. Oh, all right. I love this. Bus me new in town.

I mean, he did commit a crime. So the cops, you're listening to the policemen are getting mean to the ladies. Jolla, Julio, you're a card. I'm with you, son. Is he just eating ice? Yeah, he's eating ice. Okay, he enjoys TV. Yes, he's eating ice, but he's still eating.

Does Frosty have sex in him? No. You know? You don't think so. Jackie is predicting that he's a matchmaker, not the sex man himself. I hope so. I'm hoping. I don't want her to fall in love with this.

He's born yesterday. He's literally a child man. I don't want anyone fucking this child man. He's going to kind of pound at you, yeah, like you're just sort of of like a rag doll, but he won't stop. And at some point, you will have a no. Yeah, I've banged a 21-year-old before, but the, oh, never came.

I'll tell you what. Yeah, never came. But at least you'll do it till it hurts. Oh. You know? It's Christmas. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. It's Christmas.

It's a sexy... Does this help you feel? It's a sexy snowman movie. I think you guys are being sexless in a weird way. I'm trying to be Christmas horny. I'm trying to add in Christmas. Right. It needs to be a sweet surgery.

Oh, God. Oh, no. It's on the notes about how he died. I'm sorry. Oh, God. Oh, God. He's dead. It was a slow death.

Oh, God. Those cancer notes looked like they were written by a third grader, by the way, that I don't think that's exactly how. They were taught. They were typed. They were typed in like a fun font. Too fun for the content. read. He can just read and like do all these things like. Yeah, he's not a literal baby. You say as he acts, reacts like a literal baby when he walks to the roof just now. Don't get me

wrong. He's got nice arms. Yeah. No, he's a pretty young man. He's really worked on his body. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, um, you know, even more distorted Adam Driver. Uh-oh. And he guys, we got some gutters. And we got a gutter in there, by the way. I brought up the phrase come gutters to one miss Natalie Jean on an episode of Crescent City the other day. But she never heard of it? She had never heard of come. Really? Unbelievable.

What you call them? She's like, it's like the V-Bone. I was like, come gutters. Well, I think with Henry, she doesn't really need to know what they're got. Don't you talk about my brother like that. We don't know what kind of gutters he's got. Maybe they're full-up, okay? Maybe they're clogged, but he's got gutters.

Maybe they're clogged gutters yet. You got to get a roofer out there. He's got gutters. I am hot to the touch right now. What they don't tell you about rum chata and Fireball. It heats you up. Man, wow. Fireball makes me so hot.

Makes me so hot. And I officially started my second glass of Savignon Blanc. She was a charming child in Party of Five. What an interesting career. Party of Five, mean girls, a million Christmas movies. She has been successful from the beginning. Yeah. Like, this bitch ain't never stopped working.

She gets to just work. And these movies must be so comfortable to make. Yeah, man, in and out, a month and a half. Yeah. And you're always in these cozy little nook. Yeah, you're in like a sweet little Canadian Christmas town. Yeah. He's a fast learner.

See, potential. And he'll learn that linge. Potentile for a mate. So he'll learn how to, he could learn how to put some finesse into the, into the hammer town. It's crazy with the knock.

Jackie, she's gonna fuck this man. He gonna fuck this snowmate. She's not gonna be another man. Honestly, you know what? I'm gonna say this MJ. This scene is changing my feelings on fucking the child man. Because he's growing rapidly.

Because he's growing into a man. Honestly, this is poor things. I think they watched poor things and they just like made it. for Christmas. Oh, God. No. Start drinking everybody.

I think it's a funny joke. You see us shaking our heads. You absolutely drink when the new baby man asks what's cancer. What is cancer? MJ, what is cancer? Talk about your pussy? Wait, where is he going? Holden or the snowman?

Yeah. We're in the... middle of a movie. He's got a piss. He always took care of the house. Husband always took care of the house. Yeah. Yeah, no question about that. I will say if anything ever happens to Jeff, nothing is ever getting repaired in my home and like no picture is ever going to be hung.

Yeah, no, I mean, I really I just, you know, the fact that they just used this is like a fun little Christmas plot. I'm like, this is devastating. Devastating. Absolutely devastating. We shouldn't expect her to just bounce back. with the snowman. She needs time to greet.

So tomorrow is he going to have like a PhD, you know, he's like rapidly. Ew, she's going to fuck the snowman. Yeah. She's so going to fuck the snowman. This ain't no matchmaker, snowman, Jackie. She's going to fuck this.

I feel better now that he's not a child man. At first, I was not attracted to the child man. He's still a child man. He didn't even know what cancer was and he's like, he can't believe there's dolphins on the magic screen. Yeah, but he learned how to make a pizza. Yeah.

Yes, they touched hands. But I don't even know if he has a a cock. Are they going to get into that? He has a cock. I think we're going to find out. I don't think he's where, where was it? When? So that presupposes that a child or some young person sculpted a bulge

on this sexy man's snowman? I think she built the snowman. She didn't, she was too busy working at the diner. Yeah, she's too busy being sad and cold. Then who built the snowman? That piece looks great. I think whoever built it should fuck him.

An adult. Let's stop mentioning children Would a cold penis be enjoyable on any level? Would a colder erection do something fun? It would be fun at first, but I think I'd like it to warm up at some point. Yeah, I don't, I'm not interested in that. And wouldn't you kill him or at least kill his penis? He's not made of snow.

Okay, the scar melting. He's cold and he's melting. Does someone want to bring up the lyrics of Frosty, the Snowman? The idea is that the magic scarf or hat brings him to life. Or Pipe M.J. Yes. We know the song. And two eyes made out of coal.

Which is what you're getting for Christmas. Whoa. Was that happy feat? Why are we watching more television? I feel like I'm just... Oh my God. He's going to learn how to fix the house. Of course he is. And he's going to fix the house.

You didn't see that coming. Why does he rapidly learn? I guess he's just eager to learn. He's eager. Who's this lady? a lot of cute old ladies in this show

is that the same one Holden's like wow gilfs as far as the I guess kind of feeling gilfy over here definitely a different gilf

yeah it's a different gilth yeah she's got some DSLs bro this isn't the gilth from the thrift store yeah is she not I don't know

she literally got filler between scenes no it's not the thrift store no it's not the trip for woman so our face by this isn't only young white people, it's old white people as well.

Yeah. Oh yeah, but I will say that I do feel like this is definitely like a Jeff move, not the abs, but being up on a house and then stopping to help someone. And that does make me sexually charged towards the snowman. Wow, you're going to love the snowman by the end of the movie, Jackie. That's my prediction. The more wrong shota, I get into my bottom. That's my prediction.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Ready to go. He's good, because he's just going to be like such an innocent, pure helper. He's fucking the car. He's like a fuck at the car. This is crazy. I can live this is a PG movie.

Like, why don't just go for it? I know. Fuck the call. Fuck the call. She's orgasming. It's very Edward Scissorhands. That was also my thing in Edward Scissorhands. I never really wanted to fuck Edward Scissorhands.

Right. I always wanted to fuck Winona Ryder. But the ladies in the town wanted to fuck Edward Cisorhands. Lucky, Kathy. It is Edward Cisorhands. Yes. Oh my. My God, hot frosty.

Yes. Yes. So vainy. The veins on his arms. I don't mind the veins. And who is this lady? I want to see her maybe like fillet or something.

You know what I mean? Oh, I think she wants to fully. I love to now. Finally, I got you guys on my level. I'm like, yeah, guys, this is a sex movie. You're like, no. He's just going to teach the magic of critics. Like, no, bro.

I didn't like the idea of child. brain, I know surprise, that doesn't turn me on. Poor things? But yeah, I didn't want to fuck Emma Stone and poor things either. But there's something about naivete that can be a little hot. You know what I mean? That's the old lady from the reclaimed bag store. Okay. Yes. Yeah, and who's the other one? I feel like she did pornography or something. You love the old gilfs in this movie, hold it. Yeah, I gotta do some IMD Bing over here.

Wait, so are they just gonna fuck and he's gonna melt and that's gonna be the end of the movie? Because that I cannot handle. Don't you cry, I'll be back again someday. You know? MJ, I can't handle it. Lauren Holly, who is hot. How old is she?

Yeah. Lauren Holly. But she was dumb and dumber. She was, she's... That's Lauren Holly. Yeah, she's a smoke show. He's got to stay cold, MJ. Uh-huh.

He's got to stay cold. That's y'all a truly old. You guard. Now, I'm just thinking about Lauren Holly. Man, she was a sex awakening for me, for sure. And I believe she's in, um... She has kind of a hot role in Crank 2. I love crank

Everybody loves crank Nicole has crazy eyes But what They're on to him That he's a snowman? Sheriff thinks he's on to him I think that he just doesn't Trust anybody new in the town

Ah But is this like a Kind of a metaphor for bigotry? I don't think so I think it's a metaphor for Zach You guys keep saying I'm wrong Small town But I keep getting proved right over and over again.

You were right once. That the white man in the small town is not being treated with respect. Is that what you're saying? I'm just saying A-A-B, almost all, almost all. It's just a few. A-C-A-B-E-H-T-E-T-E. Why didn't she say, like, this is my best friend from a long time ago? Like, she could have said anything.

Yeah, because he's just a man. He's a stranger. You don't have to be like he's a snowman. Yeah, they could have just said, he said, this is my friend, leave him alone. Yeah, I think he should go to jail. But then she's not going to get her slog in. And she wants that squishy slog.

Dude, could you imagine just how internally this character's horniness is brimming right now? And she's playing it off so cool because of her jaw tension and everything. But all she wants is the hot caress of the F word from this guy. Yeah, go home, get into the dark. Yeah, you guys have to hide. You have to hide in a dark room together. Whoa. Why does he go into the school?

Because he's doing maintenance at the school because one of the old women said, my son is the principal of the middle school. They need a maintenance person. Got you. What's this guy's game at this point? He's just a good guy. Yeah, there's not really a lot of stakes or conflict,

but the stakes are, I guess, that the bumbling sheriff must catch the man who accidentally broke a window and took one out. Are there a lot of stakes? And are they that high for most Christmas movies? Right. No, I'm not complaining. I'm just... He decorated a house. Oh.

Oh, God, he decorated a house. Yeah. Hasn't been done since that man died. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. What?

Is cancer? MJ, I just want to start calling you at like 7 o'clock in the morning your time just to ask you what is cancer? Yeah. What? But, oh God, the one that's not painted right. Oh, this is a great, it's a wonderful life bit. But it's with what's her name? Jennifer Coolidge.

Yeah. This is the staircase is in its wonderful life thing. That's Glinda the Good Witch, right? Yes, but played by Jennifer Koolish for some reason. I know. Yeah? He's just a good man with a good heart and a hard. Slok.

You're mean to him. All he wants to do is... But he put his boots on the pillows? All he wants to do is not turn himself into the police. And all she wants is for him to turn himself into the police or not. She doesn't want that. She wants him to avoid the police? What's her plan?

Is this Faith Buffy all of a sudden? Right. They're pulling from everything we've been watching. lately. Poor things. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Edward Cisorhands. Let me show you how to fuck.

Kiss the good. Show him how to fuck. Oh, this isn't them sucking and fucking, this is her taking him to a school. Yeah, it's the opposite to go be around children. But is it attractive

how helpful he is? And maybe I'm just saying that as a person that has a very helpful. Helpful. I don't know. Right. No, I don't think it's attractive. I think it's better when they just,

he just wanted to play video games and not help. I think that's hot. I think it's very hot when the husbands help. I think it's hot to complain about having to go to a birthday party with your wife. Very hot. And she truly is like a neutral avatar in a video game, by the way. Yeah. She just really is.

I guess I just wish he was like. bigger. Like, I want him to be, like, a big, imposing snowman. I think they're going for a different kind of type, you know. They're going for that Adam Driver contingent. It's nice. It's nice for the other people that want to fuck those people, and I think that's good. He's closer to my type, but he's just so young.

Like I... Right. He just acts so... And Lacey Chabar is not so... Lacey Chabar is our age. Yeah. I'm pretty sure he is our age. This man is our age?

All right, looking it up. Look it up. Figure it out. I don't think he's our age. I maybe go 30. Lacey Shabar has got to be our age, right? Oh, Lacey Shabar, sure. She's an old ass, yeah.

He is 39. She is 42. He's 39. He's 39? Get the fuck out of here. It's his performance. The performance is selling way younger. He's 30.

I feel like I'm going to. But still, I know, that is, it's the skin and the physique and the hair. I literally would have guessed 23. Yeah. I was going to go like, maybe Jackie's right. Maybe more like 30 though, not like 40. Wow. And I was thinking, I bet it's more like 28.

Yeah, 28 is more. Yeah, he's not 23. 28. By the way, we didn't talk about this on page 7, but Leo broke the curse. This current girlfriend just turned 27. Wow. Breaking the curse of the 25-year-olds. That's right.

She made it to 26. That would be a great Christmas movie. Leonard DiCaprio, like, finally meeting a 22-year-old that ends up aging to 26, and they're still together. Because her husband died of cancer, Frosty. He doesn't understand. And it fucking sucks.

I'm just a snowman. It's like that said now I'm just a caveman sketch. It is caveman lawyer. You're out there. I'm just a snowman. It's too. is the driving cat. When I started dating Gideon,

I just was constantly calling him on Frozen Caveman lawyer. Your Honor, I'm just a caveman. I don't know. These fax machines are tiny little men inside of them. She's so... Joan, is that you? This is Joan. Yeah, this is Golden Bachelorette.

Jackie tricked us into rewatching... I did it. I told you. I didn't know she was a widow. Of cheese, Louise, Jackie. Can we be released from... sad, grieving, you know, widower, when widowers, I feel like it's going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy if you keep this up. I don't say that. I didn't.

Yeah, a bat's going to fly in and like, eat. Now if something happens, Holden, and I blame you, I'm never going to talk to you ever again. I thought you were moving in with me, which was. No, I'm moving in with MJ. All right. Moving with MJ. We got a little fold-out couch. You can sleep on.

Yeah, we also have a little fold-out couch. All right. We all know I'm moving back in with Henry if anything happens to Jeff. Sure, of course. Of course. I want you and Linda in a little creepy house together, you know, with a bunch of like doll heads

on the front porch and stuff. I'm not getting a, you know what, though, I will say, I'm not catching a lot of chemistry between these two. Zero. You know what I mean? Absolutely zero. Like, I'm not seeing the,

I see how he could receive sex and she could enjoy sex separately, and they're primed for it. that's hot. But yeah, I'm not catching this like, oh, they just won it so bad and they can't get it. I agree. I don't think there's chemistry, but Twix, the two. No. Or at least he could be like a little more sexually figured out Amazon. He's talking about Amazon. He's talking about the dark web and drugs and child pornography. It's called the dark web. He doesn't know what a credit card is, Lacey Shabere. but somehow he knows how to read, you know, cancer reports.

And he, like, understands debt. Yeah. I would be extremely concerned if someone said they didn't understand. It's fine if you want to fuck out, Fred and DeCathe. I just feel like, then it's going to be fine. That is not true. That is so untrue. That is certainly not correct.

How many beatings happen on, you know. Very, very upset during the Christmas season. Yes. I've been upset. It's like the line that Fred Cratchett says in Mother Christmas Carol and he says, that is certainly not true. It just looks like the car is about to start slipping and that makes me very upset. I don't want bad things to happen to Lacey Chabair, all right?

I wish her happiness. I need to know there is love outside of grieving, okay? Sure. Yeah. Just like for Joan and Chaw. until chalk finally takes the mask off and kills her in her sleep, Jackie. I wish they didn't use devices like this

to create stakes because I'd rather her just be a lonely bitch, you know? Right, and just need slucking and... Yeah, why can't she just... Oh, they're like, oh, the people don't want them to be career women anymore, so we have to make them widows, you know? Right. And nothing sadder in America than a old, lonely widow. Except a career woman.

know I say. Career women are sad. I don't agree. Fled out couches, I think my photo couch might be a little nicer than MJ's. Just throw it out there. Almost certainly. Mine will have toys on it.

Oh, you don't think mine's like I have toys on it? I don't have piss on it still. When he's gonna, uh, what's her name on it? What's her name? Who do we talk about who pissed the bed on purpose? Chelsea Hanlon.

When he's going to Chelsea Handler on Jackie's fold-out bed. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Well, it's fun. The sheriff's stuff is fun. Get him, stop serving boy with this character. Get us away from boy.

Because I want to see this go down too, but it's hard. I have to push through this heavy boyness that he's giving us. Please, they call them husky boys, Holden. Oh, yeah? Heavy boys? No, but you're too chubby to ask me. No, you didn't have that same situation growing up? Whatever.

I had a hard time in high school, so I don't have sympathy for this nerd kid. What are you talking about? I've had multiple people that pretended not to date me because I was too fat. What are you talking about, Holden? They would fuck me, but they would certainly pretend to not fuck me. MJ, who had the sadder childhood, me or Jack? Seriously now. Yeah, no, you have to say one.

Don't be political at all over politics right now. You have to choose one. Just pick. And don't pick Jackie to pick favorites. If you big Jackie, I'm going to be mad. Come on, man. That's such a bullse. Of course you're going to pick Jackie.

So dumb. Everyone knows that I had a sadder childhood. I know. So what was really hard being raised, rich. I know it's so hard for you. I know it was so hard for you. to go to private schools. I know it was really, really hard for you.

It's not raised rich. Sure, I got everything I asked for for Christmas. Fine. The rum chana is tearing us apart, guys. For me, it's the white wine. Focusing on what really matters, which is, as late as she should bear going to fuck this snowman before he melts. This snowman child.

I know. I wish he would just give less boy. I cannot believe he's 39. Knock me over with a fucking feather. I really agree with you, MJ. That really blows me away. I really don't see, get it. What is his, is he had actual snowman?

Did they cast a real snowman? He's kind of rat boy a little bit. He's serving a little bit of rat boy, right? For sure. He's definitely got, yes, that's what they're tapping into. I think they're tapping into that rat boy thing. That's why he doesn't look so lumber, Jackie.

They're trying to turn away from that a little bit. It's for the best. I was trying to figure out, I'm like, why did they go with this guy? And it's like, that makes sense. This is like the look right now With your bone face That's cute

That's nice You just say yeah I rank him 10 out 10 If you guys are in your 20s Would you entertain this gentleman? Big time Pretty sure the snowman Wouldn't want to fuck me

But he's a boy So he doesn't know any better So he might be like Oh this lady maybe isn't broken psychologically Honestly if I'm gonna make a choice Between him or Joel Otrulio You know my answer is Joe LaTrulyo Yeah

Okay Love him. Maybe I need to rewatch Wet Hot American Summer or whatever. That or watch Brooklyn 9-9. Brooklyn 9-9 I really, really enjoyed. I didn't think I was going to. I don't either.

It's not about him. Everybody else is great. Yeah. This is cute, this little bro-down scene between the cop and the snowman. Yeah, they're already just buddies. I thought the police were going to be like on his ass the whole movie.

Well, he was never in. I never. This is the nice good, good cop. Oh, right. I don't know if you've heard of a little dynamic, we call good cop, bad cop, hold it. But I guess. Not all C's are A, B's, you know.

True. Some C's are G's. Good. Goods. Goods. They're getting our acronyves a little confused here. Some C's are G's. Come on, guys.

Only good movies. More like, as these ends. Suck these nuts. Let's do it. So disappointed. See, you got to get the video guys on patreon.com. On page 7 podcast that the look of disappointment I just received was next level. Get it.

Suck it. Can I see your down lips? He's going to ask her out. Shut up. He says. He's not saying that. What? He wants that.

That's the subtext of all this. See, I know subtext. I'm a bit of a screenplay writer. Oh, my God. You're dead. No, her husband died like a month ago. I like that he asked her to the school. It's cute.

He doesn't work at the school. So I don't know if she can go to the school. But again, I want to avoid such boyness. But I guess we're just leaning hard into it. I'm still uncomfortable about the no's nothing thing. Woman fucks boy inside man's body could be the name of this, you know. But they're going to kiss. We're going to like it.

No boy inside a man's body. And I'm going to see her maybe Maybe she'll rub his like Front not his penis But like even just I'm sorry you're not allowed to go to a middle school Dance Lacey Shabere I know I talk a lot about Giles Chaperone she's allowed to go with him

Okay Yeah MJ please I love when you remind us Of school like etiquette You can't And yeah liability at Buffy we get a lot of information But this bitch doesn't even You don't even involved in school She owns a restaurant

Why is she going to a middle school dance? Because he's a chaperon. I don't know if you get a plus one when you're a chaperone. Oh my God. Is this the glow-up scene? What's going on? Yeah, it's a pretty woman scene. They're going to dress him up.

I want to, I need to watch Pretty Woman. This is 20 movies folded into one and I am here for every moment. It 100% is. What happened to like the old lady council and what's her name? The old woman I got a little aroused by. They got him working and that's why. he was working at the middle school. It's why he's going to the middle school dance.

I unfortunately do think he's handsome. I'm finding it more and more. I can feel like brimming with MJ. MJ's like, well, he used to be maybe my type. I'm like MJ, come on. No, he's my type. It's just again, I don't like the innocence. I want a knowledgeable person.

But then you can turn him into a dirty man. That's the fun of it. You're like, all right, toy. Time to stop being a boy. Time to be a man toy. Man, you know MJ and I so well of how we love to say, okay boy, now it's time to be a man and that gets us juicing. Oh my guy.

No. You guys are disgusting. Yeah. Absolutely disgusting. He's not sad enough for me, you know, but I do think he's hot. This is getting me a little hype for Christmas, I have to say. I'm like ready for Christmas this year, I think. Yeah.

Or I'm getting ready for the holidays, I think. Getting there. I'm going into like holiday mid. Okay. I. Look at that, yeah? He's looking at the feet a lot. He wants it.

He wants it. He's a bit of a foot guy, I can tell. He's stared down at the bottom for a while. But don't get too close because I have something popping out of my pants. Do you think they'll be grinding to like Arkelly? What would it be? It would be. Cockering.

A vibrate, I wish it would be, but it's not going to be like a necklace. Earrings? A broach. A broach. How does he know he's going to... He's going to fucking melt, bitch! Don't fucking fall in love with it, bitch! He's going to fucking melt!

He'll be back again someday. He's going to die just like her husband. Just like her fucking husband and how is she ever going to trust again? Joan. Okay, without the innocence. Okay, I'm falling. Okay. Fine.

I'm falling. You fucking hear me. I'm falling. It's a necklace. I was right, by the, it was a necklace. I know you're falling. You're both so easily manipulated, okay?

You're like, you know what I mean? It's like the election all over again. There is no chemistry between them. I've never seen the movie with less chemistry between the two. No, it still feels like she's his mom. Yeah. She just looks at it with like at zero in her heart. She's just like...

She's still watch them kiss and I will enjoy it. Yeah. They're earning the thing. You can't take it from me. And I mean, honestly, a school dance sends me a little bit. There was something so magical about... There was the promise of the school dance was still some... As cynical as I was about everything with this stuff by seventh grade,

there was still a possibility to a school dance that was exciting. Like the saving Christmas movie, remember? I hope it's like that. There's going to be a choreograph dance. I love choreograph dance. Jackie, I hope it's hip-hop inspired. What? Okay, let's all take guesses as to what classic.

I'm upset about it already. They don't have the rights to anything. They don't have the money to pay for anything good. It's going to be. It's Netflix, though. I'm going to go. Was there a boy band holiday song? Merry Christmas.

and happy I'm guessing that one. I don't think they have the money. I'm going to say they don't have the money. They don't have the money. They don't have the money. It's going to take a swing. It's going to be some kind of a knownish song.

I think they use the money on the guy from Schitt's Creek and Craig Robinson and Lynch and Trebair and Joe would truly. They're out of money. It's different than this. You know what? It better be. It better be fucking frosty the snowman or I'm going to have blue balls. It could very easily be Frosty Stimmat.

Do you want to take a guess, Jackie, before this happens? Because it's definitely going to be something. I'm puking. That's what I'm guessing that I'm going to puke all over myself. All right, puk Christmas. I love that one. Oh, my God. They're finally touching.

I wish we weren't dancing next to the middle school couple. Not interested. I wish this was an adult dance. Why does all the sound of this movie sound like they are in and empty? It was literally. just noticing how poor the sound design. I noticed it earlier. It's,

the sound is bad. Yeah. And they're so, like, kind of dry with their vocals, too, so it just sounds so, like, underdone. Yeah. It sounds like they just could afford

one mic for the whole gym. Are they gonna fuck in front of everybody? Is that gonna be, like, the coup de grap? Is it gonna happen? They're gonna get interrupted. They might get interrupted. Interrupted.

Okay. This is so weird for a school dance. Yeah. It's like sometimes the movie feels good. And sometimes the movie feels bad. You're right. They didn't have the money for an actual. I don't want to watch the middle school dance.

I'm not. Synchronized dancing. It really sucks. This scene could have been much better. I thought it was going to be like a real song and a real choreographed dance. And instead it's just like she's just kind of chuckling at him. Yeah. Yeah.

I was going to heat up. I genuinely feel like if my partner was in this situation, I'd be like, how much time did you spend with these children to make this song happen? Yeah. How much work did you do? Because you could have put that somewhere else. That's it. To be fair. That's the end of it.

That was a dog shit choreograph dance. That was terrible. I can't believe I got excited for that. It was more to just to sell us that it got overheated. I will say I resonate with his character because he's always like profusely sweating even if just the lightest amount of activity. Oh my God, Holden, maybe you are a snowman.

Yeah. Does he drink IPA beer? Yeah, maybe that's why he's sweating so much. Yeah, beer makes me sweat. Does he have a stinky cyst on his back maybe? You gotta hear the farts I blast in the morning after like an IPA night. It is so bad.

I heard about it for 10 months while we were on tour actually. You don't need to say more. That was brutal. I mean, it is brutal. It's like I've stopped. Oh. Almost kiss.

Almost kiss. Almost kiss. Should we drink for it? We forgot to make a drink. I love you still remember that. Cheers. Yeah, we drink more for an almost kiss. I think we've been too busy trying to

understand to make drinking rules. You know, we would just been struggling, really struggling. We have to guess what movie they're just completely ripping off at every single seed. Bitch, you got to fall in love with a snowman. That's dumb. Yeah, you've been alive for three days. How does anybody know, though? How does anyone know at what time he has left?

You're not actively melting. I thought you were talking about like existential. How does anyone know how much time they have left? No, like for them. Like, how do they know the rules? That's my question too. How does he know he's not here to stay? I mean, I know he knows he's a snowman.

Because he keeps melting. Yeah. Yeah. Death. All right, Jack Frost. Jackie. He doesn't want her hurt her. How are you feeling, Jackie?

Are you thirsting? I saw you roll your eyes. He's got a eulog and his pantaloonies. He wants to give a little lingy till her bean goes dingy, dingy. Hot eulog. So it's just. it is just going to be a friendship. No, there's like 20 minutes left.

No. They're going to kiss. Yeah, they're going to, there's 25 minutes left. He's going to die. He's not. Guys, he's going to die. He's not going to die. You don't think there's going to be...

Bro, he's going to fucking melt, bro. You don't think they're going to figure out a way to fucking change him. He's going to magically not fucking meld? I don't think that he is. I don't know. It's just going to be a sad, holy sad, no happy. this at all? But isn't it nice that she like, hey, I found this book in the library in the basement. And it says if I, if you give me Lingy for like 24 hours, you know, straight.

Holden just likes the word lingy, but they have shown this ATM multiple times. And I do feel maybe there is something happening right now. There's a gun on the wall. Check on his ATM machine. Oh, there she is. Drunk bitch you are. This is my love. lost. Yeah. There's my old lady. That's the thing he, you guys get boy. I get sexy old lady. 39 year old boy.

What's worse? I almost feel like a 39 year old that acts like a boy is almost worse than a boy. I guess I can't ever. I don't want to fuck either one. How about that? How about I definitely don't want to fuck either one of a one of them? If I had to do none of them, I will die. If we redid this movie and there was no middle school and there was no

man who knew nothing. Jeff will get shot in that penis and in the head unless you do it to one of them. You're going to do it to one of them. I guess I'm going to do it to the boy living inside of an old man's body. That makes sense. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

MJ, what about you? I'm not answering. His penis bitten off by a dog. You don't have any power over me. And I'm not answering the question. I did. I had to answer. I love this breakdown. It's great.

Get good comics to be in these movies because you're going to get like a little moment like this. You know, it seems like there wasn't a lot in this glass, but there was. And I am, who, warm. This is my third. Dang. Naky and the street.

Oh, they looking. I'm looking. All right. Holden, if I finish this rumchata tonight, I'll get your pumpkin spice rumchata. Thank you, please. So much better. Am I pouring another one? Yeah. I am.

Yeah, we judge you. Go ahead, judge. No, you definitely going to get used in jail. But maybe not in this tiny town. I'm going to make you melt. Boy. The peppermint bark is the best of the rumchata. You think so?

I think the pumpkin. is superior, but I'm a pumpkin-ass bad. Tell him Katie Mixon. What a great, what a good cast. It's a great cast. It's a bad movie with a great cast. I mean, I'm fine with this. I like this better in the Lindsay Loehan movie.

There's more fun to be had in this movie. No, I don't hate it. I think it's fair to say that it's not a good movie, but maybe it's not a bad movie. Love a boy. Yeah, for sure. Magic. everybody drink. I gotta pour more.

Maybe the ghost of your husband lives within him. He doesn't. But what if it does? That would be nice. He's going to melt. What are we going to do? He's got no fingertips because he's a snowman. He's a snowman.

You're a snowman. I was going to say you're like from Kevin Spacey and seven. You know what, guys? I just poured a little bit of my cranberry seltzer into my drink, just thinking, like, maybe it would make it better.

So gross. It's amazing. Really? I know you're saying that, but you're inebriated and your judgments clouded, especially because also your, I think Hallmark movies

have a detrimental effect on you, I want to say, and I know this is Netflix, but it's the same thing. It's interesting that you're creating this conspiracy theory right now. Yeah, is it interesting? Yeah.

It's tough because I don't want to agree with Holden, but I do agree that something's happening to Jackie. M.J. A, I don't know if your guy is going to rip Gideon's eyeballs out Unless you fuck the boy or the boy man I've obviously going to use only the man

That's the answer I answered your question lives within the man That's an acceptable answer to me And I appreciate you answer again There's too much youth in this movie I want there to be less youth Less innocence And by the way I'm also fucking the boy man

I'm not fucking a boy that's insane but also, you know, a goat's fucking eating my toes awful. I'm doing it. Ooh, that's us. Wow. If he fucking dies and they don't even kiss, I do not.

17 minutes, credits start, though, you know, well at the credit starts so far. No. This is really We're almost done here. I wish that I didn't have to think about how this poor woman had to already lose her husband. You know what I mean?

I know. I mean, just wish that that wasn't the narrative. That's why I was hoping that the, okay, can I just, can I send a message to the screenplay writers of this movie? It is so fucking dumb that he did not have. help her learn how to love real human beings, which is what I wanted from this movie. Jackie should have been right,

even though she was so wrong. Or also like, I know we've had like 50 shades of gray, but I'm starting to feel like smud has made such a huge return to popularity. I feel like we need to, you know, start looking at not just these kinds of happy Christmas movies, but we do need a version of this movie that's a little more sexually charged.

Yes. Especially now that it's on Netflix. We don't need to go by Hallmark's rules anymore, guys. I know. I know I'm Mr. Nut over here, but still. We broke the Hallmark fucking monopoly. Yeah, whatever, MJ. You'd fuck a boy man and you set it into a microphone.

It's disgusting. I don't know if MJ did. I think I was the only one that did. No, MJ did. I think you were paying attention to the plot of the film. I just, MJ finally answered. I said the boy man. I said, I'll fuck a man.

The man with the boy. inside. See, this is where I get dumb. When the crowd, when like the county. When the town comes to

support. I don't have everybody. It's a house. Stop. Yes. I die. Yeah. Let him up in the balloon. The child is dead. Oh, wait. That's last year. How much is bail? Everyone, oh, it's just also like it's a wonderful life.

They're going to bail him out. Everyone's raising money just like they did for George Bailey. Because he's helped so many people. You know what it's going to be too late. Everybody comes together to help. What if they go in there? There's just a fucking scarf and a puddle of water. Are we going to survive?

Oh, yeah. Why do you think I do the shoutouts every week, guys, just in case my new boyfriend starts to melt when he gets arrested for doing a crime that everyone that listens to page seven will come together and give me money to bail him out of jail. Craig's going to put the $10 in. Craig's, you're right. No, it's not.

It's going to be the middle schooler. The middle schooler. That's nice. Oh, that's his son. Oh, it's a son. It's probably like crypto or something annoying, though. You know what I mean? No, it's just a nice son.

No, everything's secretly evil now, MJ. No. He's been working to make our lives better. And lady, I will have sex with you. Wow, Lucy. Wow, you said that line like you were giving a report in school. I'm honestly pretty blown away by Lacey Chabaris. She's not a mediocre performance.

Great actor. Why are you saying this as if you ever expected anything else? She has had a tremendous career. She has had a tremendous career. Okay, okay. But MJ. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, elementary school.

As someone that has spent many, many hours watching party of five, I wasn't watching it for Lacey Chabera's acting job. Right, but she was a child then. Yeah, and I've also watched a million Hallmark movies with her in it. And guess what? She acts exactly. Honestly, she acted better as a child. He's dying.

He's dead. I don't know if he's dead. Well, I want to still see a kid. I feel like I need a kiss. I don't think, I don't know if we're going to get it. Ain't no kiss. I think she loved, yeah. It's PG.

Or even if it's the tiniest kiss, I don't want that. I want the roadie. I want it deep. Right. Craig Robinson somehow found it figured out of deliver that in a funny way. Yeah, that was really. He's, he's at shining star of the movie for sure. Oh, yeah.

Him and, uh, what's his name for the state? Chip Jaffrey. Joel Trulio. He's going to become a human man somehow, don't you think? Yeah. They're not going to let Lacey Chabar die alone. Or they're just going to have it so that they just work around his condition. Or at least that's how the woke mob would have it.

Oh. Oh, my God, Jackie, please. It's the rumchata, okay? Of course it's the rumchata. He's already gone. Don't you cry. I'll be back again someday. You're never going to be back!

Save him with a kiss. This kiss is going to be like a frog prince situation where he becomes a real man. Yeah, do you just kiss a corpse? Dude, I'd love to kiss the dead. I'd be so fine with kissing corpses, but that's not my thing. I would so kiss the dead.

Give him back the fucking scarf. Yeah, give him back the scarf. He needs the scarf. He can't see without his glasses. Give him the scarf. He can't see without his glasses. He can't be a live snowman without his scarf. Maybe she fucks that old hot bitch.

No, he's about to come to life. Listen to the music. I know, he's coming to life. But why would removing the scarf? I mean, I know she kissed him, but still, why would removing the scarf? Maybe it's the love. Maybe it's the love.

Oh, he became real. How's he going to get a. birth certificate, you know. Fucking don't worry about an M.J. He doesn't need a job. Yeah, seriously, MJ. He's a handy man, MJ. He doesn't need a fucking, he doesn't need a

He doesn't need a permit for two seconds. He doesn't need to create his own corporation. He's fine. Yeah, he doesn't need to incorporate MJ. He's cold. He's a real boy. Man. She made him real.

I just wish he had fucked him real. Like, if you're going to do this, go all the way Mr. Chabare. Fuck that corpse. until he is undead. That is what I really want from a horny snowman movie.

What made him real? The love. Her lust, MJ. I know it's something that's foreign to you. It's not lost. It's a magical love. It is love. For to me, you're the sexually frozen one. You're right, MJ.

You're right. I know. This movie's about me a little bit, I think. Ew, is this a cold-played Christmas song? And now I will do that with my wife for once. This was what they could afford, Jackie. They couldn't afford a song for the dance number, so... Ew! Is this cold-bl-year?

That's what I want. Katie Mixing, I want you to get late, bitch. I know, man, makes someone to watch She's Spouted Down again and lust for her. Lust and lust and lust. Look at this. They're side-hugging. They're not even kissing right now. I know.

I've never seen such a lack of, I feel like the intimacy coordinator at a field day on this one. Like, no one's doing anything. I talked to both of them separately. Neither was to do anything. Directors like, they can't even snuggle.

They don't want to snuggle. Side hugs all you get. And he has to pretend to be dead when she kisses it, but that's all we're doing. She doesn't need a man. She needs a fake man. Let their love be whatever.

I like that he's, teaching her. It's not like the man came in and now fixed everything. I like it. She's learning to take care of her. You are really finding the positives, Jackie. I'm trying desperately MJ. There it is. Look how lusty. Look at that. A kiss between two living people.

Wow, what a hen pack that was. It was a henback guys. It was a handbag guys. God damn. I do not buy this at all. They are best friends. I feel like they're like, this has been amazing, but I just feel like we are friends. We're like, this is been really good friends. We are really good roommates. I really thought, I'm going to tell you guys, I thought I was going to be arrested by this film. I thought I was going to be dead at the end of this film.

Right. I'm not. I'm not. Are you ready for some bloopers? Give me them bloopers. Love them. Do they always do? I feel like they always do bloopers for these types of movies, don't they?

Well, when they have comedic, I mean, obviously they let them go every couple of takes. But also, it's just the kind of movie. I feel like joyous movies like these have that blooper reel at the end, you know. I love this song. Yeah, they're fun. They're the highlight. Yeah. I love Joel Truelio.

He is perfect. That's the person I want to fuck. I want to fuck him and I want to fuck Craig Robinson. Yeah, Craig Robinson. And I'd like to be in the middle of both of them. And didn't he have Craig Rulow. Robinson had some health stuff, too. It's good to see he's, like, getting back into the shit.

I want them to put in a blooper where one of them says, like, this movie is fucking awful, you know? Like, that's what I want. No, but this, I, okay, you know what? I liked this better than the low hand experience. No, okay, all right, it's not fucking awful. But don't you think it'd be fun if they just reveal that they also think it's kind of, you know, it's a silly. Right. They know.

But they do know what they're doing. They know. Look at this. Oh, you're right. You're right. Joel O'Drullio and Greg Robinson with the snow, like, no, you're right. It's fine.

The movie is fine. It's not awful. It was fun. I enjoyed watching it. It looks like the crew's having fun. That's always nice. I love their little friendship that they probably created on this set. And that makes me happy.

I might thirst for the snowman, actually. Wow. After the bloopers. In the bloopers is when I first feel the stirring for him. him because he's funny. Yeah. Boy, man, boy man. I didn't like his character, but I like the man.

You would fuck a boy man. Dirty, dirty boy man. And now we do all know this, MJ, but. But he does seem to be more damaged. He used to be more like, I went to the creek and I saw my. Oh, do you hear what he just said? That was a giggle. That was a giggle.

That's what he was going for. And that makes me thirst for him, MJ. I love their little friendship that, Joe La Trulio and Greg Robinson had at the end of this film. I want to watch them in a buddy cop movie now. Yes, I love this. I want them. I'm sure they've done stuff together before.

Holden, watch, Brooklyn, 9, 9. I know you don't give a shit about Andy Sandberg. I didn't either. And now I love the goddamn show. Aaron Hobbs free. That was cute. Cuty, cut, cute, cute. That was fun.

I enjoyed that. I liked that. Yeah, it was fun. It was good. It was nice. It's one of those movies where, like, I wish there was more lust involved. And it just can't be because it's a cute holiday movie. My main problem is I'm currently reading a book for Jackie's Book Club called Santa Claus is going to town parentheses on me.

And so it's really difficult for me to watch this and be like, oh, we're not going to have the fucking carrot nose spinning through our pussy. And we're like, oh, it's going to snow. I've been reading this book called The Trouble of the Lust and it is about an extremely old woman and a boy man having... I think it's called a pornography holding It's titled The Trouble of the Lust

and it's there locked in a cabin and there is arousal in page one and that's all I'll say and you know checking up for yourself. MJ any final words about how you'd fuck a boy man to say Gideon's life or anything like that? You know I don't know. I'm thinking about the brandy one where the child was dead.

And I'm thinking about Lindsay Lohan, which was pretty honestly unmemorable. I don't remember anything that happened except that we liked it. And so I guess

this is fine. I guess this was a generally positive experience. And will I recommend it to people? I'm going to have to think about that. You think, yes? No, I'm definitely going to recommend it. I'm going to say it's fine

and you'll feel fine about it. No, you're right. I'll be like, do you like Hallmark movies? Watch it. That's a thing. If you like Hallmark movies, yes. If you like Hallmark movies, you're going to like this movie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're right. But if you hate Hallmark movies, you're going to hate this movie too. So that's just how it goes. Yeah, yeah, there is. But also, if you've gotten this far in the recording, you know whether or not you feel that way. You feel it. Thank you so much for joining us.

Thank you, everybody. You guys are great. I hope you have fun. It's not even 7 p.m. and I am blast. Yeah, wasted. So we're going to go try to eat or something to make us. Literally. My cup was not even that full.

You forget rum chata mixed with fireball. It's just a lot of liquor. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, have a great happy. I hope everybody has a happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. And we are, you know, and then after that,

we're officially in that Christmas run, a holiday run, sorry, for all you different people out there. And it'll be amazing. Oh, you different people out there. Don't you cry, we'll be back again someday. Someday. And I do know we will make it through this holiday season and we will make it through together. Thank you guys so much for joining us on this day.

Maybe you're joining us on Thanksgiving. Maybe you're joining us over the weekend of Thanksgiving. And we wish you a merry, happy holiday. Hopefully you've seen Wicked at this point. And if you haven't, you best get on that shit. Hell yeah. But we love you guys. Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy holidays. Bye, everyone. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.