Page 7 - Monkeys That Kill w/ Kara Klenk

Episode Date: January 15, 2026

This week on Page 7, MJ and Jackie are joined by Kara Klenk to discuss the childhood trauma that was "Little Monsters", Daniel Stern got busted for soliciting so his bandit won't be wet anytime soon, as well as Kara's experience going to school with Katherine Heigl during the release of the creepy Gérard Depardieww led "My Father, the Hero." The Pitt has everyone screeeeaaaammmmiinnnggg after that last cliffhanger, Jackie gives us an update on the reaction to her "all nerd clusters taste the same" statement, and Kara comes in with some candy insider news! Then it's time to dive into all that Golden Globes Goss', including Leonardo DiCaprio acted like a human, which was big news after that awkward "Actors on Actors" with Jennifer Lawrence, the film industry finally recognized the greatest actor of our time, Indy. Then we got a LIST full of SURPRISING early jobs of NOW famous celebrities that Jackie may or may not have read before, BUT OH WELL!!! Followed by Blind Items: 100% GOLDEN GLOBES EDITION, and a Valentine's inspired Jackie's Snackie's from 1:08:03.270 til 1:16:54.015, with a savory-sweet MJ's Minute Munchies at 1:14:29.484!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Maybe this isn't talking about our state of things, but maybe it's more just reminiscent of the end of the movie, Little Monsters. Where we know where we're going, but we don't know where we've been. And we know what we're knowing, but we can't say what we've seen, and we're not little children. And we know what we want. And the future is certain. Give us time to work it out. This laughter of me is like little monsters and seeing the cover the VHS and remembering it. Is Little Monsters the book with Howie Mandel and Ben Savage?

Fred Savage is there. Ben Savage is there. Howie Mandel is there. Oh my God. We watch that movie so much. that ride. And remember in the end that they are journeying all night and then they get to California as the sun is rising and then that song starts playing. It's why it's my favorite talking head song. And it always makes me think of how terrified I was of the movie Little Monsters growing up.

It made me feel weird. I watched it all the time and I showed the trip. So Jeff has never seen it. And I was like, do you want to sit and watch it? And he's like, does it hold up? I feel like it does. There's something weird about the way those horns come out of Howie Mandel's head. Oh, yeah. That really made me unsettled. Oh, yeah.

Imagine how he felt with it. You know, he just doesn't like to be dirty. So I imagine he doesn't like the feeling of liquid latex on his face. I remember the-Bobby's world and little monsters. Howie Mandel really had me in a chokehold. Oh, did he. World was good. I don't remember little, I remember the VHS cover.

That, you know, I really, that visceral way that Blackbuster just ingrained the images of VHS covers into, like, how do I have like literacy with this movie despite having not seen it because of Blockbuster browsing, you know? Oh yeah. And you would look at it and be like, I don't

know because there is this like no necked big beast man that has these very scary teeth. And I just remember, I was so, we watched it. All the time. They really knew how to scare kids and little kid movies. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

I was so scared to a point that I thought that we were going to have to. Henry and I had had bunk beds at this point in time. And I wanted to cut the legs off of the bunk bed so that it would sit flush to the floor just so that the monsters wouldn't come out. Oh, yeah. From the world universe that they live in. I really feel like I watched it 12 times and I'm not even remembering these details that you're, like, I'm not even remembering the mechanics. of how the monsters get there or anything. It's all under the bed.

We watched it all the time. Yes, and they have to go back in before the sun comes up. It's, oh my God, is this why I'm a monster fucker? Wow. Oh, this is all coming to a head? Is this why I'm obsessed with vampires? Is it because of the movie Little Monsters? Probably.

I'm so surprised I didn't watch it. I didn't rent it because I was a huge Wonder Years fan. Absolutely obsessed with the Wonder Years. Oh, I forgot. He does play his father in it. Daniel Stern shout out that nobody wants. Henry, I saw this headline yesterday. Daniel Stern just got arrested.

It was some misdemeanor for soliciting sex. And I feel like in this day and age, what are we doing here? You should be allowed to do that. I have not looked far into the story. I will say, I just saw the headline because they used a horrible picture of Daniel Stern in the specific headline that I took a screenshot of and sent to Henry. And of course, we were making jokes about it that I was like, even the wet bandits's got to pay.

Yeah. I think that, I feel like in this day and age, what are we doing here? You know? Unless it was bad. Come on. Let's, let's, yeah.

Daniel Stern's got to get it. You know, he's, nobody's thinking about Daniel Stern anymore, but he does play the father in the movie Little Monsters, so I had to bring it up. Yeah. Yeah.

I think about him every, I think about him once a year. And I think, oh, that guy who's not Joe Pesci, who's also at home alone. I wonder how he's doing. Oh, Daniel Stern would. like big because he wasn't he in city slickers?

Oh yeah. He was in city slickers. He was the voice in that. He was home alone. And then recently he was in, um, what's that, 80 Bryant show Shrill. He played her dad on Shrill. Oh. And I was like, oh, he's still out there working. Like he still does some stuff. Give me a break. He was out in Camerio.

It's like he was out in the desert. Let him get a motel in the desert. Let him slip. Let him cook. Yes. Let the weather. Bandits, get wet, come on. Let him get a sex worker.

Wow. And yeah, voice of Kevin's dad in Wonder Years. So a real collaboration between Daniel Stern and Fred Savage. And Fred Savage. Wow. Do you need to tell people who I even am, consider we've been talking about real monsters for 15 minutes? Hey, Kara. It's Kara.

I didn't even introduce you. I just want to make sure that the page seven heads are like, who was this third voice? Oh my God, MJ. The amount of conversation Kara and I had about the. movie My Father the Hero on last week's episode of Who's the Bitch which is a movie

you're looking it up which means maybe you haven't seen it it is a creepy movie with Gerard de Bardu and Gerard de Bardu you're gonna be very horrified by this movie Don't watch it. Do not watch it.

I don't remember this VHS cover Catherine Hegel Yeah And Gerard de Bardu That was a casting I wasn't expecting Well here's the premise really quick He's her estranged father. They're divorced.

He's her a strange father. He takes her on like a Bahama vacation to impress her. And when she's there, she meets a hot guy, but she doesn't want to everyone to know she's on like a daddy daughter vacation. No, of course. So she tells him and everybody basically in the resort finds out that she is, that's her boyfriend. Yeah. Because she reads a little bit older, even though she's 16. She's 14, according to the Wikipedia.

Oh, 14. Sorry. Yeah. And everybody. at the resort is giving him looks and treating him weird and it's tough because he also then just got cancelled into oblivion years later during the two.

It's what Gerard Depart don't, I guess. But there is a scene where he sits down at the lobby piano and starts playing thank heaven for little girls and that's, you know, he doesn't do himself any favors. No, he certainly doesn't. But Kara and I watch that movie

100,000 times. I've watched it because I went to high school with Catherine Heigel, so we were all You went to high school or Catherine Heigel? And middle. So she left school to go make that. And it was all the rage. It was all like, oh my God, she's back. Do you think she used a butt double in the movie?

Oh, my God. Which I hope because she did use a butt double. She was, I think, closer to 15 or 16 when she made the, I don't know. Oh, that's prime. But she was wearing a thong bathing suit, which was not very, like, that wasn't common. No. I would say. But she gets out of the pool wearing this.

this crazy thong bathing suit that her dad can't really tell her she can't wear it because he's barely in her life, you know? Yeah. So she's supposed to be her boyfriend. Because she was, she was practicing Mormonism at the time. Oh.

You know, we used to be a proper country where you could make a movie fantasizing about an old French man dating a 14 year old and nobody would get upset and now everybody gets upset about these things. And now everyone's like so... I know. Crazy.

It's like the guys on TikTok that are like Look, hooking up with a 13 year old today, ew, a hundred years ago, totally normal. So I'm just saying it's not, it's like, my father of the hero, not that long ago, you guys. Not that long ago. It's like 30 years ago. It's not that long ago. Oh my God. And Kara, thank you so much for joining us.

Thank you for having me. I love being on page seven. I love it when you're here because then it gives us, honestly, I think that we're always trying to shove as much pop culture conversation into who's the bitch. And here we get to just frolic wherever we want. Yeah. Now, do you think that there is some sort of like sublimated psycho, uh, psychoanalytic urge of Catherine Hegel to then only go on to play like boss bitches

because she was, she was cast in this horrific role as a teenager? I think I just know that she has been acting since she was really young. Like she, I think we all kind of met her on. knocked up in grays, but when she was an adult. And she had been working. And don't forget the ugly truth. The ugly truth. Anyone?

Oh, I don't. Oh, no. Oh, I don't know that. But she was in like the TV show, Roswell, I think, back in the, or maybe, maybe I'm making that up. She was in a bunch of stuff much younger. And like, I remember, because she went to our school. So like, she'd be in 17 magazine tiny and we'd be like, oh my God, there she is.

You know, we were like upset. You're right. She was a celebrity among us. She was in Roswell. Yeah, she had a big, big catalog. Yeah. Yeah. She, she, she, she, because of Knocked Up and the Ugly Truth, which apparently everyone else is forgotten, but I remember it well.

But it was like, she was kind of the original prototype of like, like, what, what, what, what we went on to identify as a character type in Hallmark movies where it's like, this bitch wants a career, you know, like she. Yeah. Yeah. And so she is not entitled to love. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. This bitch doesn't deserve love because she wants a career. Yeah.

Or, and you're such a ball buster. You're never going to get a man. Yes. Yes. When I picture ball busting character prototypes, I do picture, Catherine. Hygel and that's not fair. A little Hegel on it. Yeah. But I also was going to say, like, I feel like I don't think her reputation for being a bitch is like fair necessarily. Like, she might be a bitch, but no worse than like the dozens of men that are horrible all the time and continue to work. I'm sure. I mean, if you went to middle school and high school with her and you don't want to call her a bitch, then she must be lovely. Oh, well, I didn't know her at all. She walked into the bathroom when I was in there once and I was like, all the blood left my body and I scurried out of there. Do you respect Timothy Shamelama Ding Dong more because he didn't use a butt double for Marty Supreme, even though he has such a little butt. We're watching Marty Supreme literally tonight.

Oh my God. You don't even know about the butt. I don't even know about the butt. It is the only factoid that I am completely hung up on. I can't stop thinking about it. I thought about it the entire movie. I was... Wait, it is his real butt?

It is his real butt because he said he's like, I, because he's an actor. He's an actor. He's an actor. And so if his character was... going to receive it. He is also going to receive it. It's just, man, that little butt, you'd think that he would have all the heat and have really little butts.

I know, but just do a couple squats in there. You're doing all the ping pong. I feel like you just do a little ups and downs as you're doing the ping pong. Get that bottle over there. A trainer. Get a little juicy booty. Yes. I don't know the context of the scene, but okay, I won't tell you. My husband just started wearing suspenders

because belts don't work for him. So now he's a suspender man. His pants are falling over his little butt. Yeah, yeah. So now he's a... I'm telling you, my husband has no butt. There's little butts are normal. He has no butt.

When my son was born, it was like his back just went down and there was a little slit. He's got a little... Negative ass. Something's popped a little bit more now that he's, you know, nourished and out of the womb. But like, you know, it was like, yeah, well, men got little booties. Tell Jared about suspenders, you know, you really, you feel like you've... I feel like I've entered into a new age category just by having a husband who wears suspenders. but I'm ready for it.

Like, this is... With bow ties as well, or is it just suspenders? Not with bow ties, not yet. I think that he's... But this is also work attire, right? This is work attire. Yeah, he's not doing it. Jared doesn't really have occasion

to throw a suspender on. Yeah, it's not... Yeah, maybe he just starts doing it just to play D&D. Like, maybe he just, you know, puts... Yeah, I'm gonna make sure... That's gonna age him crazy. You know, what's really crazy, though?

Literally, we were, we were standing out in front of the... We were walking up to go see a movie. We were going to see a movie. We were going to see the movie. monkey movie. And we were going to go see the monkey movie over the weekend. And we saw... What monkey movie? There is this... Oh, I'll tell you about the monkey movie. Robbie Williams? That was... No, never.

Never, MJ. I'll never watch that monkey movie. No, I only watch the monkeys that kill. Oh, okay. And we're walking behind someone. This gentleman, he was probably in his, I want to say, early 40s. Just three and a half inches of his crack were showing. as he was walking because his pants and his underpants had come down and he wasn't because he had a big old juicy. It was just that, and it was cold outside. Like the wind was whipping. And all I could think was how does he not feel that on your coin slot?

His ass all the way out. And he was like on a date. And I don't mean to be like this, but you're just walking and you don't realize. And it has nothing you do with your crack showing. I don't give a show, you know, everybody's got a crack. We have lots of us got them. But you don't feel the wind whipping on that coincide? I hate to be a gender essentialist here, but I do feel like, and I'm not saying that all boys and men are raised to not constantly scrutinize their own bodies the way that girls are.

But I do think that there's a scrutiny gap in terms of how early girls learn to scrutinize their own bodies and how they are presenting in the world. And then how boys. And so I feel like that is my only explanation for why so many men have their ass hanging out in. don't notice. They don't have the situational awareness. It's a skill. It's a muscle. And we're all paranoid because... Yeah, like, I, I the other day was wearing like four layers, but I could even feel my t-shirt riding up under the sweater. And I was like, if this sweater goes up, that's it. They're seeing skin. They're going to see skin, the skin of my midsection. Or help us. And let alone a wind whipped crack, you know. But also, and thank you for bringing this up,

MJ, because honestly, every day when Adam comes into work, he turns around and goes, no, crack and I go that's great Adam. We'd see no crack today. That's how you know he's a good man. Yeah. That's how you know he's a good man. Yeah.

But he shows it off. You got to make sure that they feel supported in what they're doing, you know? Yeah. Crack is whack, guys. We can't. I'm saying this as somebody, you know, if you've listened to page seven for a long enough,

I got a high ass crack. You got a long crack. I have a long, I got a high. It's high up top. Your crack sits high? I didn't even heard of that. It goes up. It's like it may as well be like up.

to my shoulder blades. You know, it's like I'm all ass. I just won't quit. Whoa, ever quit. And I tell you, so many people would I. It's like, my pants used to fall down all the time. I couldn't go into the world of suspenders.

Henry and I, pants, have we both have, the difference, talk about the, like, and how we were raised. Henry, though, like, when his hands are full, as he's walking, he always has a belt on. As he's walking, if his hands are full, he'll all of a sudden go, as he tries to widen his legs, as you will inevitably watch the pants, definitely fall all the way. But then he just lets him go.

And then he's just walking into the house with his pants around his ankles, holding the stuff at his arms, you know? What kind of loose-ass pants are we all wear it around here? I've got to wear him high up. I got to wear him all the way high up in the sky up to my shoulder blades. That's another thing. That's another thing.

They're going to keep telling me to get rid of my skinny jeans, my highways to jeans. They're like, no, no, no, no. low rise is back, bootleg is back. Fuck off. I'm wearing skinny high rise till I die. I'll do other variations too. But I love how in a skinny high rise I could do a cartwheel and you're not going to see my crack.

There's no way. You'd have to cut it open. Cut the denim open to see crack. Oh my God. Maybe Noah Wiley would. Oh. Cut that denim off your body. And we are not, I need everyone to know.

We are not spoiling anything. We're not saying anything. The only thing I will say is that goddamn this. show. And man, you're out and then you're right back in. The pit? Yes. It's so fucking good. And I feel like I watched the episode last Thursday when it dropped. It ends on a cliffhanger of, that's not a surprise. It's the pit. It's just like I felt like I could hear the collective screaming through the country. Yeah. I'm just like, what's wrong? I'm only on episode I just finished episode five of the first season. Oh, okay. So I'm catching up on the pit because we

watched it once a while ago and I was like, oh, that was a lot. And then now I'm super into it and Jared is like, it is taking all the emotion out of my body to watch one episode of the show. So I can get him to watch two in a row, but we're not like, we're not like, you know, binging through it. I haven't even tried with my husband because it's really, really intense. It's so upsetting. Like, I just know that that's not what he wants. So that is my alone show. But yeah, nothing like just getting alone and so sad in the middle of the day. And every doctor says it's so realistic. And what I like, too, is maybe this changes as the season goes on, because again, I'm only one third of the way through the first season.

And we'll say nothing. I kind of like that it's a little bit like ER, but without all the drama between the doctors, romantically. I like there to be interpersonal drama, like, when they tell each other, hey, you shouldn't act like this or whatever. Right. But not when it's like, we're going to go fuck in a closet or whatever. I heard somebody else say recently that, like, oh, because it's like 24 meets ER,

there's no character development because you're only in real time. And I was like, that's, that's, I'm. But there is character development. There is character development, but there's not like, there can't be a relationship cannot form. Yes. You cannot leave one woman and go to another woman and start a love triangle. Right.

In a one hour, you know, that just like does it. Yeah. No, it's a 15-hour shift. I think from like a screenwriting perspective, it's like heroic Herculian character development because you're just learning about who this person is right now. Yeah. Yeah, I love it. I also continue to think, I'm so glad that Noah Wiley just keeps winning all the awards.

And I also think it's lovely that he, is so, such an advocate, has become such an advocate for health care workers. And I also just think it's very funny that he has now played a doctor so much and won so many awards for playing a doctor. And every time he speaks, he thanks health care workers that it's just like, it's like, how when Taylor Swift was like, your English teacher, just got engaged to your gym teacher. And everyone was like, you know, you're not an English teacher, right? Like, I just feel like, Noah Wiley has this like a slight, like, he's such a doctor that like now I'm like, are you a doctor? Well, yeah, it's kind of like Mariska Hargitay, where people are like, you are a detective at this point.

Like you've done 27 seasons of blaying. And she has like stepped into that. She's like, yes, I actually am a victim's advocate now. Yes, yes. That's what's happening to him. I am actually actively ending rape kit backlogs in many states. Yeah, exactly. Like when your character becomes you and you become your character, totally, it is Mariska Haggertay and it is Noah Wiley.

Because he's just like, he's just like, I can't give a speech without talking about the broken health care system. And I'm like, good for you, buddy. Can you imagine his poor wife, though? I feel like he probably comes home. And how many times a day does she have to be like, you know, you're not a doctor big. But you know, like, I got to go to a doctor. Did you know, Wiley like disappear between his big ER fame and the pit? We looked this up. He did some stuff, but even in his speech at the Golden Globes, he was like, he was like, I felt a home 30 years ago at ER and I hadn't felt it since until now. So like he has, I think by his, own admission. It's like these are his passion projects. Are these the librarian movies? Adam,

have you heard about these movies? I think it's like grocery store novel type. Oh, okay. When USA used to be like a bigger thing. Oh, it's their USA show. Because he's in multiple movies about it called like it's a series called the librarian, which I am asleep even though it is a fantasy. it seems to be a fantasy action. Yeah, like a shitty idiot Indiana Jones. Oh, it's shitty Jones. Shitty and a shitty and Jones. That doesn't even make any sense, Jackie.

What you're saying and you said it twice. There's multiple of them, though, of these librarian movies. And he's just like a little, he's just a little action hero, I guess, is that's what he got to do in between. Now, I will also say, because I didn't end up going with any of these blinds, but I will say that there are a number of blinds. I didn't choose them because there probably lies and they're really bitchy, but there are a number of blinds claiming that his wife sucks and that he sucks. Noah, Wiley, and his wife? Well, the blinds claim that he's a drunk and that she is very controlling. And I like that they seem so demonstrably.

They seem so much She seems lovely I'm controlling It's bad at everything What do you want? You're controlling And I love to drink Yeah

Well, here's a problem I am Noah and the wife Yeah You've been dated Yeah Let he who is not a drunk Or controlling Cast the first stone

Wait you not drink it? I haven't had a drink in a week And for me that's a lot Whoa, you're doing a dry jan No Dry gin No I just am trying to cut back a little bit Not have like a glass of wine

When I'm cooking You know You're you. That's all. And I think about it all the time. So maybe I didn't have a problem. No. I'm proud of you.

It's just like muscle memory. You know, when you're like, oh, God, I hate cooking. So having a little glass of wine with it makes it feel more fun. Yeah. And now I don't do that. You got to do what you got to do to get through the day. Now I'm just focusing on my culinary masterpieces. Is that what you're doing instead?

Do you think that it's helping you with your cooking? Not at all. No. No. No, you know I'm a meal box person. Oh, yeah. So I just read instructions and add and saute and have a glass of wine. You gotta have, not I'm making a little fun.

I know, I don't need a little treat. Listen, I have my show tomorrow and I'm definitely having another drink. So it's not, this is not forever. Yeah, I think if I'm not having a little treat that is a drink, I'm having a little treat that is several handfuls of nerd clusters. So pick your poison, you know. Yeah. Oh my God.

I need to sit and do like a full evaluation of all the nerd clusters because I made such a mistake and I said like a month ago, I think all the nerd clusters taste the same. And then I have found out that they don't taste the same. And I said it in front of Jeff. And Jeff looked like I slapped him in the face. He was just like, of course they don't all taste the same. But I, you know what? Honestly, I usually eat them by the double handful.

So I'm not usually thinking about the flavor. I think I'm more in it for the texture. I remember as a nerd eater when I was younger, like the grape has like a little bit more of a mellow flavor, whereas the pink ones are like very tart. Right? Yes. Yeah. So I would imagine the same is true with the clusters.

But I don't even know. Man, the world of Chewy Fruitie is really getting nuts out there. And I was going to say nerds, but then it sounds like nerds and it already is nerds. Did I already tell you guys this story about how I was talking to this guy at a party and he was not even a party, like a gathering. And he is like an actor. He's an actor. And he was like, oh, I'm starting. a candy line. And I was like, oh, that's cool. And he brought some of the chocolate of this, like,

but it was supposed to be like really upscale nice candy or whatever. And I was like, oh, nice. And then he goes, yeah, we got the woman who designed gummy clusters on board. And I was like, I thought it was a joke. So I was like, wow. Oh, wow. And he goes, yeah, we're really lucky to have her. And then I realized it was absolutely 100% true. Because I was like, oh, the woman who decided to throw a bunch of nerds onto something to twillers, basically. She was right, though. She was right. that bitch is a genius. I guess ever since I had that conversation, I realize how dedicated people are to gummy rope

and gummy clustered. It has changed the game. It changed the game. And now that they're, man, the amount of, at some point I'm going to be bringing in multiple, there's a weird new world of chewy fruity where it's like they're playing with the textures of chewy fruity

by putting stuff in other stuff. Like one of them is, it's like, oh, this one has two different kinds of texture, and it's a gummy, and then on the inside, it's a different gummy that's shaped like something else.

So then when you go to eat it, it kind of eat, like you want to rip it apart with your teeth, but then it's like, I'm too confused as to what to do. Do I consume it all in one go? Do I, do you have it as set? Do you do that,

and just try to rip it out of it? This is too much for the clearly very high audience that this is targeted at. Me, yeah. Yeah, that I'm thinking about these things. I don't think you can introduce so many textures to people when they're blazed out of their minds. Or is that exactly what you do? Who you introduce.

Yes, and we need more textures. But I guess, you know, we also need to talk about the Golden Globes. We've got to. We've got to talk about the Golden Globes. Mickey Glazer did great, first of all. Let's start there. Give it up for Mike Lawrence. So we're also one of the writers for the Golden Globes, killing it out there.

An LPN guy. Oh, yeah, baby. Now, I didn't watch it. Like, I don't watch a lot of these things. Now, Kara, you didn't get to watch it. Is that what happened? I have been using cable. I have been paying for cable until a month ago.

I just gave up cable like one month ago, which I know. Everybody's like, what the hell? And I'm like, yeah, I just like it for Super Bowl, for Oscars, for Golden Globes, for, I don't know, there's a hurricane. I can put on a, put on the local channel right away and like, fine. You know, I got an antenna, so technically I should be able to get those channels, but I can't really sit and watch the Golden Globes at 5 o'clock. I have two kids. So I miss the Golden Globes completely.

And I kept asking everybody, where do I watch it? And everybody was texting me going, oh, I don't know, it's somewhere, right? Like, I don't pay for Hulu Live. I get everything off of my different apps. Yeah. So I'm like, where do I? It's the same. I'm at a crossroads with Drag Race.

If anyone knows where I can watch Drag Race and not pay a billion dollars, I can't figure out how to watch it. These are the two things. Drag race and just like, you know, super timely award show type crap is the only reason why I was holding on to cable for so long, but it wasn't worth what I was paying. I feel like this is like especially for January and February. It's like the holidays are over. Everyone is like kind of aimless and bored and, you know, you're inside. And it's like you have the Golden Globes, the Oscars and the Super Bowl.

And like, I don't want to pay 70 bucks for one month of Hulu Live so I can watch those three things, especially. because they're spread across the two months. But then, yeah, I'm like, do I want to spend hours on, like, a Tuesday going over the Golden Globes? Not really. I'd rather just watch it, you know? Yeah. And now I feel like I just get all of the big moments in the clips. Yeah.

You're going to get them all anyway. I mean, Lord help us. If we had been watching it live, we could have seen Leonardo DiCaprio being a human being. This is the craziest news cycle about Leonardo DiCaprio. I think I've ever seen. Because he smiled by Nicky Glazer's joke. Because he smiled. Because he smiled and because he was talking to people.

And everyone's like, did you see the bizarre behavior that leader DeCaprio? It's like, okay, I know that we've been talking about him a lot where it's like, yeah, he's very out of touch. Yes, he is a lot of things. He is still a human being. Yeah. You know, like he does still exist in the realm of mortals. So I feel like when they're like, did you see? He said the word K-pop.

Yeah. What? Yeah. And I watched that clip multiple times. It was like, there's got to be more to this clip because everybody keeps talking about this clip. And I watched it a couple of times. It was like, it seemed like he was talking to someone across the room.

Yeah. I do think that there is a, I will say, in terms of watching the clips, because I used to always watch the whole show and I too now have gone the way of the clip because of the same thing, cable problem. And I do feel like there's a general, like, vibe that you lose if you're not watching the whole party. And I feel like it's hard. like, and I watched all the clips, but I feel like sometimes, at least in the past, maybe this was what I was kind of more idealistic, but sometimes I would, there would be kind of like a feeling of the night, you know, and or especially I remember like after 2016, I know Holden was annoyed by like how political things, award shows got. And a lot of times it was like kind of hollow, you know, whatever, like hollow shoutouts that didn't really mean much. But it was like, oh, this like feels different or like, you know, the Oscars with the slap. It's like, you know, the Oscars with the slap. It's like, you know,

If you had just seen that as a clip and not seen it when you were watching the show, I do feel like so much is lost by just consuming things on Instagram. And this is the same thing with Leo. Like I watched the entire Nikki Glazer monologue because I like her and I didn't want to just like see 10 seconds at a time. And then you're like, oh yeah. Like it is kind of fun to see Leonardo Caprio like uncomfortable and responding to her and laughing. Yeah. And so that's why I miss the cable thing most of all.

I don't know this K-pop reference, but I liked the, thing where she was like, we just don't know anything about you. And he was like laughing because it's true. Like all I know about Leonardo DiCaprio is that he dates young women. That's all I know. That's what her joke was. And then he went to Bezos's wedding. Yes.

You know, like. Right. He is a bit of an enigma. And I think it's because he doesn't have much to offer. But then maybe he does. Like, it was a great joke because it was like, yeah, we talked last week care about how he was like, he was like, I don't really see one battle after another as a, as a movie about political ideology.

And I was like, Leo, stop talking. But, you know, I just, I feel like I feel no emotional connection to any of these people, you know, period. But if you're watching them all at a party and you're watching the whole, then you can kind of suspend disbelief for a night and be like, yeah, this is all dumb, but fun. And then just watching the clips, you know, I was moved by Diana Taylor's speech. I thought she did great.

I was very moved by E.J.'s speech. Shout out to K-pop Demon Hunters. Winning Best Song. Oh, yay. Yeah, she was, her speech was wonderful. Like she, because, you know, she was, like, rejected as a, as a K-pop star. And then she has this wonderful resurgence. And so, you know, I thought there was actually a lot of, like, fun moments from the Golden Globes.

But the whole thing about the Golden Globes is that everybody gets drunk and sloppy. And the whole thing is kind of a big mess. Yeah. And I do feel like that's kind of lost when it just becomes these YouTube clips. Yeah. That's been lost. That's true. That's true.

Yeah. I mean, also I feel like now everybody thought Nikki knocked it out of the park last year. And so I think that there's a little bit more like goodwill towards her in the second year. Yes, I think so too. And then in the second year, I think she was a little bit more like relaxed to, although I know for a fact that she ran it like hundreds of times. Oh, yeah. It's tight as hell, even if she's acting chill. Oh, yeah.

So, like, I don't know. got to be terrifying. Yeah, I don't know. I also loved Wanda Sykes. Wanda Sykes, taking a jab at Ricky Jervase was great. You know, so yeah. I didn't know that Ricky,

had Ricky Jervase said a bunch of stuff about trans people? Oh, yeah. Is he on, are him and J.K. Rowling having a spot of tea somewhere together? He's just a reaction, for years and years now, for like a decade now, he's been like a real reactionary anti-woke type of guy, unfortunately, which I say with.

Oh, I didn't know that. My exposure to him was always on Twitter, and I've basically been off of that for a long time. You know, he was, I loved, I loved him for so long. I loved the British office. I thought he was so smart and funny. But then, yeah, he went, he went the way of over-correcting to be like, what if woke is bad?

And he is, yeah, he had a whole special that just targeted trans women for like a large part of it. Yeah, I don't know. I haven't been falling with specials. I, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's no good. But what's all good is. Wanda Sykes cannot do anything wrong. Oh, you're so right.

She really can't. And also, I guess, Burrows burn because man, I Oh, yeah. I saw if I had legs, I'd kick you, and I was talking about how good. I'm going to watch that too. That's on my little portal thing that I have. It is good, but it is, I worry for the parents

to watch it, for parents to watch. It's about a mother at her breaking point. Oh, please. You can't scare me now. People were like, don't watch euphoria. Don't watch euphoria if you have kids. I'm like, my kids could stand to do a little bit of heroin. You know, they need to mellow out.

You just chill out a little bit. Roseburn, as long as they have friends. Roseburn's very good in it, and I completely understand why she won Best Actress. But she did go up, and during her acceptance speech, explained which I didn't realize she was with Bobby Cannibal. Oh, yeah. Mama Mia. So cute. That Bobby Catavall is like one of those old crushes for me because he was on, he was on some, like, fire.

fighter show. Oh, yes. It was rescue me, right? Rescue me. Yes. It was rescue me. I was a stand-in for one day on rescue me. Oh, tell me everything about rescue me. I love that show. It was crazy. It was like enough for me to like never want to ever do background work ever again. Yeah, I can imagine. The watcher. That was, I was like, what have I seen him in recently? It was the watcher. Oh, yeah, the watcher. But he's also, well, he's on an SVU, so obviously I know him from there, but he's also the funky tasting spunk guy on Sv, on Sex and the City. Of course. Which is, yes. Yes. Yes. And Annie. In 2014. For the SATC heads out there. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That's, no, that's appreciated. But yes, no, Jackie, let's talk about this. What him being, she said he couldn't be here because we're getting a bearded dragon and he went to a reptile expo in New Jersey. Which I was like, at first was like, I mean, it's, A, it has to be true because it's such a ridiculous thing. And she was like, so, so.

surprised to win that she like didn't even mean to say that but she had like made this joke on another late night show because he genuinely was taking I think one of their kids was very excited about the expo and that they were planning on going for a very long time and she afterwards was like yeah like he was being a good parent and everyone that was like I can't believe he chose a reptile over it's like no he took our kids yeah also he seems like he doesn't really care about that kind of stuff and good for you. If I was like an actor, my husband was like, I really don't want to go to the Golden Globes. I'd be like, okay, you don't have to come. Yeah, totally. You know, but also Third Watch, that's what it was. Oh, it was third watch. That was the dentistry one.

Third Watch was, I'm sorry, in my brain, it was like, it doesn't compute. I don't think it was that one. You can finish screaming at your car radios now. Everybody's, oh, you mean, Jackie, it's third watch. The three other people that still think about Third Watch out there, you guys, we're all in this together, all right? Hey, it was on for a while, right? It was on for a while. People must have watched it. Six seasons. Yeah. I watched the hell out of that show. But he's in a show on Broadway right now. He probably has to do shows. Like, he probably was like, I don't really need to fly out to California. He's in this show called art, this play called

art. Nice. With James Corden and Neil Patrick Harris. Wow. Wow. What a, wow. Roller coaster of emotions I just went through. My friend saw it and she said it was awesome. Really? Good for him. Bobby Cannibal. Yeah, this was my first moment. would of being like celebrities, they're just like us. My husband would love to be at a reptile expo instead of at an award ceremony. Yes, exactly. With his suspenders. Yes, with his suspenders.

Aw, but they're holding up little lizards instead because I have to dance on. He loves it. Gideon that they're not for the lizards. He's going to get, you know, he's going to get like reptile themed suspenders. And he already got a bunch of pink suspenders for our kids. He's, he's Mr. Suspender Man now and that's fine. Love it. Love that for.

Are you feeling this? Is this like, because you love a dandy. So is this like, is this kid doing it for you? I do. I love a dandy. And, you know, when I met Gideon, he was kind of like, he, over the course of our time together, we're going to be married 10 years this April. And it's like he has transitioned from young lawyer to elder lawyer.

And I say that with love and attraction. But it does, it's a different aesthetic, you know. That's cute. And I'm grungy younger guy wearing his grandpa's old suits when I met him to now. Matlock. Man in suspenders. Yes. It's fine.

I got no criticisms, but it has been a, you know, you meet someone and if you're lucky, you get to age together. And that's what's happening here. That's cute. Almost as cute as a dog winning,

a golden glow. Wait, you put that in the email. And what is that? So, that's a clip I didn't catch. Good boy is this movie, which I've been meaning to see.

This dog was in this studio. Global Golden Globe winner dog has been in our studio before. What? Because he was the lead of a horror movie. Like, it's all him. And it is funny because it's called Good Boy. That's what he won for. And so the people that were up against him are upset.

But apparently that, like, Sorry, what was the category? For being a dog. Best, best dog. Was it best little guy? No, I'm sorry, it wasn't Golden Globe. It was the Astrophilm Awards. Astrofilm Awards.

Oh, okay. He really had me confused when it was the Golden Globes was giving an award. But why don't they give it to the dog instead? I think that all awards, they should have more dog award shows. They should be given more awards. And I think the opposite of anyone that thinks, oh, a dog shouldn't win that award, he was trained to. All right.

It was hard for him to do. Yeah, I had to think about this one because I also, I was hoping you had seen it and could weigh in on if he was really that good an actor. But I thought about it. Everybody says it's great, like genuinely very good. And I like that they were like very, like specifically. They were like, no, this is the dog acting. There is no CGI.

There is no AI. It is the dog acting. And so I think, I'm sorry, how does a dog act? I don't understand. Very gracefully. I think we have to be in this age of. I think we have to give the dog an award. We have to.

We have to reward practical. He's not AI. Practical acting. Yes. Yeah, I think we have to give it up for the dog. I think that Timothy Shalameh could give his award to the dog, but I didn't see Marty Supreme yet, so maybe he deserved that award. I will also throw it out there.

He was up against Sally Hawkins and bring her back, and I did rewatch bring her back, and Sally Hawkins is so good to bring her back. So I would imagine. You think better than I think I would be. I'd probably be a little upset, you know. But also, he was also up against Allison Brie and together Ethan Hawk for Blackphone, too, which one. Oh, so it's like a horror award. Yes, yeah. It's the Astra. So it is. I, but you know what? Lots of people were saying a lot of good things. Has Jared seen this movie? I don't think so. Oh my God. I think he would have told me about a movie headlined by a dog. Yeah. And it's like the dog is, is it like from the dog? P-OV or is the dog like against a serial killer?

No, he's the lead. Is the dog the killer? No, I haven't seen it. Oh, we don't even know the premise. No, I get it. A new home that is supernatural force is lurking in the shadows. As dark entities start to threaten him, his brave dog comes to the rescue.

That's the couple lines. So it's Lassie meets a horror movie. And it's only an hour and 13 minutes and I think everybody that's seen it. Yeah, that's all they could get the dog to do. Because there's no way I. This is a practical acting that we're all asking for. Oh my God, the AI. But apparently it's a great movie, and I am going to see. It's got 90% of Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, people love dogs. Yeah. Did you see the guy from Heated

Rivalry, who's not Conner Story, the other guy. Hudson Williams. Hudson Williams, when asked on the red carpet about AI, his response, he was a lot of fun at the Golden Globes. Every clip both of them. Both of them. Oh, man. Yeah. And I agree with Jake that it's fun, because in the show, he's like the more reserved one, but he's real fun in real life. But he was asked about AI and he just said, AI, fuck AI, fuck it in the, fuck it to death. That is, that's the quote.

I love it because everyone is really losing their minds for the heated rivalry boys because they're not, well, I guess Connor's stories is a little bit more media trained, but both of them are definitely shooting from the hip. My friend, we hung out with them at the Golden Globes and said that they were really down to earth and don't have big egos yet.

Of course. So that's good. Of course and I love them so much and they're already, we've got season two already lined up. It's going to be following, I believe it's the sixth book which follows Elia and Shane's story.

Okay, because I am, I just finished episode three. So that's that first episode where we go off to a different story, right? We go off to the other couple. No, that's episode four. No, no, I'm not there yet. Scott Hunter's story.

Yeah, I'm on the Scott Hunter. I just finished the Scott Hunter story last night. Okay, yeah, yeah, That was pretty, like that was, I liked that. And then my friend just texted me today and was like, seasons four, episodes four through six are like prestige television. That's when you're going to really like it.

And I'm like, I already really like it. So I'm excited to get to the back half of it. Go to the cottage. Oh my God. That last episode. It's very, very horny. It's very, very horny. Are you watching it in your home?

Because this is a thing, you know, I know obviously where else would you watch it? But it's got to be difficult with two little kids because it is such graphic. I mean, it's not graphic, but it's romantic. Fine, do you watch it? I mean, you can't have your kids walking in. No.

Yeah. But then, so where do you, like, do you watch it with Jared or is this something you watch in secret? It's not in secret, but I started watching it without him. And then he came in and was like, what is this? And then he'll sit with me for a minute while it's on, but he's not like watching. And then he started looking at the butts and was like, how did they get their butts so big? Did he ask about how they get their butts so big? He was probably like, is that a man's butt?

Oh, wow, their butts. They got butts. I mean, their bodies in general. I mean, I think we're supposed to be allowed to objectify male bodies now because it's our turn. But they're just, they're very great shape. But also, they like, honestly, it's more even just the respect because it's like we all, and there was a picture of Hudson on like the beginning of shooting or like when they first started working on everything. And he had asked Connor's stories like, how did you get your ass so big?

How'd you get so big? And so Connor, like, helped him get... So they, like, also together got, like, big as... Oh. As time went on. And I just love their relationship. Sorry, we will stop talking about it. I bet over on who's the bitch next week.

You know we're going to be talking about who's the bitch next week. But for right now, oh, my gosh, we're already... We're running out of time. It's time for the list. Oh, who's on the list? Me. Get a got to have that list. And, oh gosh, did I send the wrong list?

There was this list that was like talking about everything has really been so much information about how crazy the food at these award shows has been that there was an actual list of people, except the problem is that it was all photos of celebrities taking photos at the different awards shows complaining about how bad the food is. but no, we are talking about the surprising early jobs of now famous celebrities. Now, you think, we've done this a lot, right? There's actually some on here that, you know, I don't remember. And people say, well, there's lots of things on these lists that you don't remember, Jackie. You read them every week. And yet you still read the same things over and over again. Isn't that, isn't it beautiful when you don't remember things?

Every day is a gift. You know, you're always learning new things. You're always finding out new stuff. Why remember stuff? Yeah. But did you know that Matthew McConae was hired by a country club in Texas to set up sand traps in a golf course? He was later giving a gun to shoot armored Dillos when the craters began eating the grass at the golf course. That's why his vibe seems so authentic.

Because he's shooting Dillos. Yeah, that's a real, that's a real Texas job, seems like. He's got all kind of Dillow. He's down at the golf course. He's got a real high-low there. Like he's at the golf course, but he's shooting Armadillos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, now, I don't know how Hugh Jackman feels about being a birthday clown now, but back then, he was a children's birthday clown.

And apparently he got fired when an eight-year-old thought he was crap. And I feel that if my child, if I brought in a clown and the child came up to me and went, ma'am, that clown is crap. I feel like I'd hire that clown every year. Then I'd be like, well, now you don't get a birthday party any year. that's not this clown because you should think about how hard the clown's got to work, okay?

It's difficult to entertain a bunch of eight-year-olds, all right? This is what, they say, that you either parent against the way you were parent or the way you were parent that just comes out of you. And I do feel like you punishing your hypothetical child with non-stop clown. Is Linda coming out somehow?

You don't like it? You don't like it? You're going to eat three boxes. Exactly, exactly. Smoke the whole pack. You want the cigarette. Smoke the whole pack right in front of me. You know, sometimes this is, and maybe it's, there's a reason why I don't have a child, but this is, it's okay. We figure these things out over time. But I have been, I'm really trying to, I think it's called friends and something. John Hamm is in a new show that everybody's loving, friends and lovers. And I'm also currently watching Mad Men for the first time. And I can't watch both. I just really, Did you just started Mad Men? Well, I mean, just started now. And I want to say shoutouts to Tinderella, who's also going through the Mad Men journey with me out there and chat. We are in the fourth, end of the fourth season already.

We are ripping through this show. And Jeff had seen it before. This is my first time. I think I'm finally... Sorry, it's your friends and neighbors. I brought lover into it. Friends and neighbors is the dance party in Brooklyn, isn't it? I was going to say, I just looked it up, but it's like a bar in Brooklyn.

Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no. Friends and Neighbors. It's called Your Friends and Neighbors. Your Friends and Neighbors. Even just reading the, after being fired in disgrace, a hedge fund manager resorts to stealing from his neighbor's homes. I just didn't want to watch John Hamm be another rich. Like, I just was like, I will.

Are you watching your friends and neighbors? No, but I love John Hamm. I just absolutely. I'm so, like, every time I think about you watching Mad Men for the first time, it's like, I'm sure that you felt this way. when I started watching the Sopranos, or did, I can't remember which one of us watched the Sopranos first. I think you.

But anyway, it's like, oh, yeah, no, I've seen it many times. Yeah, you re-watched it, that's right. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. When you're like, you get to experience, you get to fall in love with John Hamm for the first time. I think you should just let Mad Men live on its own in your John Ham universe because you really have to just fully buy into him in that time period as who he is. Like, I'm even mad you've seen bridesmaids before you've seen, you know what I mean?

Like before, like, I knew nothing of John Ham really when I watched Madman. I don't think I'd seen him in anything else ever. And it was so great. I'm going to be real with you. I've only seen really bridesmaids like ones. Oh, God. I've seen it like 4,000 times. I missed out on the bridesmaids thing.

And so I really, honestly, don't know much about John Hamm. And so I'm, it is, and I know that it's such an annoying thing. I'm like, oh, no wonder won so many awards. That's a really good job. You know what? John Ham's really good in their show. You know, it's like, I just keep saying the same thing. We welcome that here. This is me and Gideon last year when we watched the Godfather together for the first time.

And we're like, does anyone want to talk about the Godfather? I've never seen it either. Oh, man. Big blind love for me. I have all three, I have all three Godfathers on DVD at my house and I have never seen it. Whoa. We're going to have to sit. You know, Jared and Jeff have, they sit, they get together and they watch crazy, ridiculous, very, very bloody movies.

together. So maybe while they're watching that. Un settling movies, Jared told me is what they watch together. Unsettling movies. It's most of what their friendship is based on. I love that for them. But maybe we'll just sit in the other room and we'll watch the Godfather. And then they could, because, you know, I don't know if Jared or Jeff really need to see the Godfather.

Or maybe they do. Who knows? Maybe that's our next double day. Okay. We're all, we're sitting and we're watching the Godfather and everybody's going to like it. I'll bring over some sauce. I'll feed the kids. We'll put the kids to sleep.

We're doing a mafia night. We're doing the godfather. Please. All right. All right. But the reason why I brought up John Hamm, before getting his big break, John Hamm worked as a set dresser for Cinemax softcore porn movies. Oh, some of my favorite films.

Me too. That's like how I learned anything about sex is my parents would go out. We'd be like, bye, just going to watch a TGIF. And then we would just immediately turn on Cinemax. Yeah, you'd put on Emmanuel or Red Shoe Diaries. Oh my God. So much Red Shoe Dishie. How much real sex.

Real sex. And then real sex is where you got your real information because that was like a documentary. Yeah. So that's where. It's where I found out that you could get a vibrator that with a suction cup. And I remember it blew my mind because then you could fuck anything. You could put it on anything and you could fuck it. Oh, you don't mean this.

Okay. I thought you meant a different kind of suction cup. Different guy to suction cup. Different kind of suction cup. No, no, no. You mean like a dill, like something that stabilizes a dildo. Yeah, yeah, no, you fuck the fridge. Yeah, you can put it anywhere.

And then this was before you even discovered that video game date everything where you really can fuck everything around that. Oh, my God, when all of my dreams came true. Oh, my God. Speaking of dreams coming true, yes, I am going to bring it up every week. Check out soon the sequel to Slash Fick. And if you want to play in the meantime before my voice appears and you're going to be very scared of,

me or you're going to have a lot of sex with me. It really just depends. But this is a sequel to the game Slash Fick. Look it up. It is about having sex with or being killed by slasher's, big honky slashes. And you can find it over on the Dorian app, but soon I'll be there in the sequel of Slash Fick. As a voice. As a voice, Carol.

Oh, are you going to want to have sex with me? So people want to have sex with these killers, like, after they've killed, or then they want to get killed by them after they have sex or what? Well, they are all based on, so the original, like the Fab Four are all based on Ghostface, Michael Myers, you know, Freddie Krueger. You know, it's like, so they are, but there's, that's all IP. So these are hunky versions of them. And right now, I'm going after Leatherface, who I never expected to go after. I never thought leather face would be my thing Because a lot of people

He needs sunscreen, I don't respect that It's, oh man, you should see how big he is in the game though But then there's also the Mike Myers The Michael Myers character that's very much like mine Like he just wants to like own you But then he was saying mine as he like finger blasted you in the forest Yeah, it was really And he has mom's shoes right Michael Myers

Or sister's shoes? What is it? At least they're not being brought up into the game And this is more about like the two of us. Is this a game you play on a console or a game you play on the computer? On your phone. On your phone. It's a casual game. It's a casual game.

I've never played these games. Yes, you can't really want to kill a Slash shirt. Honestly, if you're standing in line at the CVS, I've been playing this game because I usually don't play phone games, but I've been trying to get into the world to learn more about specifically the phone dating simulator games. And I feel insane standing in line at the CVS just being like, and then I'm down on my mind. knees taking it and I'm just like I'm just sitting but I guess I feel that way I listen to erotica all the time and I don't feel that

I think it's just the fact that someone could look over you can't see any of the sex on your phone like it's just still images it's not it's like click through it's like a choose your own adventure graphic novel okay and this little carousel yes naughty time yes and then there's special like scenes that you can choose to get naughtier

damn yeah it's crazy But also, yeah, date everything, which where you couldn't have sex with absolutely whatever you want. You can fuck everything. Our lives are beautiful, you know? Maybe there's a lot out there that's covered in tar and everything is horrible. But then you look inward and you look at your phone and you're like, but at least I can fuck leather face. Yeah.

Yeah. You know what? There's a ray of light, a leathery ray of light coming through every cloud. Didn't know. It's what I needed in 26. but did you know that a 25-year-old Quentin Tarantino appeared as an Elvis Presley impersonator in an episode of the Golden Girls

and I wish he had stayed there. Oh, but he did a terrible job too. In this version of it, I don't want to hear about him. I hate Quentin Tarantino, but in this version, he is definitely the Elvis Presley from the Sooky Stackhouse novels, which he got brought back as a vampire in the Sooky Stackhouse novels,

but he goes as Bubba because he's not quite all there in the head and he only eats cats. So I imagine Quentin Tarantino is that version of Elvis Press theme. Yeah, that's fine. I have been thinking about the Golden Girls a little bit because I'm watching Pluribus and, you know, she's, I think she has a box set of the Golden Girls. And I'm like, in an apocalyptic event, what box set do I still own?

Like, what DVDs do I still still own? We have two seasons of Star Trek. And the All Three Godfathers. So you're going to be fun. And all the Godfathers. You're fun. We do have still have quite a few. DVDs. All right. Last but not least, this kind of just, I'm surprised. Chris Hemsworth used to clean

breast pumps. I'm more surprised that the job exists. Before making it as an actor, Hemsworth used to clean rented breast pumps for a pharmacy. He has described the job as the worst one he has ever had. Oh, get over it, Chris. To keep the machines clean, he had to wash them by hand. You know, who else has to wash breast pumps by hand? Every woman at breastfeed. Everybody who breastfeeds eight times a day. I think that we should be thinking about Hemsworth during this difficult time. He had to wash him by hand. I had to wash it by hand.

Also, that job doesn't exist. He was like a stock boy at a pharmacy. He had to do a bunch of shit. And then twice they asked him to clean a breast pump. And he never forgot it. And he's like, oh, it's so disgusting. I need to touch breast milk. I think it's so funny.

He never forgot that he had to interact with a breast pump once. You fucking dick. I had a pre-me. I had to pump eight to 12 times a day. And yes, it still sends me into a fit of rage. But yes, you're so right, Kara.

That's not a job. He just had to interact with one. And now he brings it up to get some sort of fucking points because he touched a breast pump. Good job, buddy. And he had to wash it by hand. I feel like you're really, you guys aren't, you know, it's like he was with his hands. It's like if you're renting a pump from a pharmacy, you're returning the pump

but the parts would be thrown away they would be like so you're not washing the parts you don't use reuse the parts if the parts have been on your boobs and had your breast milk in them they don't go to other people really

no no you just get the machine it's just an engine basically that you plug into so insane oh I don't like it I just last but at least if I ever meet Chris Hemsworth this is the first top of conversation

show me your hands show me where you had to wash them Yeah, what did it look like when you wash it, Chris Hemsworth? Describe the machine to me. It's like, oh, God. No, job on Jovi. I'm more just bringing this up because, so he was sweeping the floors at his cousin's recording studio. But this led to his first recording job, which was singing a song on 1980s Christmas in the Stars, a Star Wars themed Christmas album.

And the song that he made was, I'm angry at the name of the song. It's called R2D2. We wish you a Merry Christmas. Why? Shouldn't it be like we are to you? It's like, can't it be better? R2D2, we wish you a Merry Christmas? You can't come out.

You're going to write a whole Christmas Star Wars themed album and that's the best you could come up with with her name of a song? Yeah, I'm needlessly forgiving of John Bon Jovi for some reason. I can't explain it. I love him. And it's not just pay it forward, but that did help. But I like him and I like his son.

And I don't know anything about him. So don't come from me. Okay. Do you like Millie Bobby Brown-Bon-Jovee? Yes, I do. I like the whole family. I like their love. Yeah.

I think that she was forced to grow up too fast. And everyone's like, now they're like, you're too young. You're too young. It's like, no, society, you all did this to her. So, no, she is technically. better off and better probably mentally than me raising a kid. Let that 21-year-old do it. She's got so much money.

It's fine. She's going to be fine. 21-year-olds have been having babies since the beginning of time. It's going to be fine. Yeah. She changed her name to Millie. Millie Bonnie Bon Jovi. Bonnie Bon Jovi.

Yeah. Millie Bonnie Bon Jovi. Yeah. Melly Bon Jovi. Yeah, I got no problem with that. I'm here for it. And I got no problem with John Bon Jovi. Again, I don't.

I just, anytime a Bon Jovi song comes on, if I'm at a bowling alley, if I'm in a bar, I'm happy. You know? You know, you're just, I guess you're always living on a prayer. Yeah, you're living on a prayer. I'm halfway there. All right, is that your list, Jackie? You're halfway to going blind, it sounds like, yeah, because that is my list. All the way to go.

I think I'm going. Bye! Items. Oh, we can't see them. A hundred percent Golden Globe edition. Oh, okay. Oh, la, man. I had, it was hard to.

pick. There were so many good ones this week. I'm very excited. Were they all drunk? You know, there's there's a lot of drinking, but but even more kissing. So item number one. I think the only reason this foreign born A plus slash A list actress hasn't split from her actor husband is because she doesn't want to have to answer a bunch of questions about it during her next press run, which will be huge. Last night, she looked miserable. Two nights ago out of, out on her own, she looked like she was having a great time. A plus. She's foreign born. She's foreign born. Um, okay, let's see. I will say I saw clips of her at this at the Golden Globes and she did not seem to look miserable. Um, but sure, whatever, Blind Adam, we'll take it. And her husband's an actor. Her husband is an actor. I think who we would also call him A-list. Um, he's a bit borough. It sounds like she's borrowed of him. Um, she, she, oh, we think she's so hot. She is just, she's so hot.

Borough snoro. Just boring. Yeah, Borough snorro. Yeah, it's Borough. Yeah. Is it Emily Blunt and John Cresensky? Wow. How did you know?

How did you possibly do that, Gera? Where did you get that from? I don't know. I think I... Wow. Hot wife, boring husband. It's obviously Emily Blunt. And she seems cool.

I like her in interviews and stuff. I really like Emily Blunt. I also really like Emily Blunt. I love her. My problem is that at first, I was like, MJ best not be talking about Rose Byrne and Bobby Caneval because it's like, we're about to throw down if that's how you're describing them. But, and so I couldn't get that out of my brain.

But yeah, oh my God, Krizzyk, Heboros, Snoro, I'm asleep. I'm asleep. And Emily Blunt, I think she's cool. Yeah. She looks cool. She looks fun. Yeah, yeah, I agree. All right, blind number two.

So is the offspring still with the foreign-born, former boy bander, or was she just making out with a three named actor to be friendly? All right, that is a mouth fill. Yeah, wait. We're talking about, we're talking about, no. No. So, and the star number one is a star in her own right, and she is an NEPO, she has a famous parent. She is with star number two.

star number two is the foreign born former boybander that is really like a red leather yellow leather situation born born former boy bander yes born born former boy bander and star number three is the three named actor that star number one was allegedly kissing on all right how do i okay start with the foreign born former boy bander and see if you can figure out who that is Born, former born. Harry Stiles. Yes. Oh, okay.

Who is apparently coming back with new music and I'm very excited about it. Okay. Harry Seals. Who is he with right now? Oh, dude, I don't even know. Wait, Grace. No, not Gracie.

No, she's with Paul Benskel. Oh, she is. Different Nepo. She's also hot. A Nepo is with Harry Styles? Yeah. Yeah, she's very hot. There was a day where I would know all of this.

I shouldn't even call her a nepo because she's such a famous person in her own right. Like Maya Hawk or somebody? No. older, much more established. Nepo is misleading. She is a very famous, well, but they call her the offspring because she is also a famous offspring.

Harry Styles is seeing her, how can I give this away? She was in my favorite show about mothers being bitches together. Zoe Kravitz. Yes. Thank you. Wow.

I forgot Zoe Kravitz. I didn't realize it together. With Harry Stiles. Well, according to the lines, with me making out with. She was also very funny in the studio If you guys haven't watched the studio yet I need to see

The studio is so funny We both started it and then fell off But it was very, very good There's a whole thing I mean she plays herself But not herself You know like she's and Okay so she was making out

She was making out with a three named actor Paul Thomas Anderson Wow Actor An actor A three named actor He was there Jeremy Allen White

Yes Wow I was just going to start going through a list and all every three names after I do. Does Harry Styles fall into that rat boy category that we've talked about before? Because we talked about Jeremy Allen White last time I was here because the, the Springsteen's trailer had just come out. Oh, gosh. And you guys were all, you were sliding off your chair over that thing. Slip it and sled.

I love Harry Styles. I'm very into Harry Styles, but I also understand if he does fall into a bit of a rat or a weasel face category. Yeah, I would say. Yeah. He's got it. And there's, sorry. There's two, I'm going to do two more. I'm sorry.

There's just, they're all so good. I can't. Hey, Ellen's do it. Rip it. Okay. Speaking of former co-stars, the wife of this A-list actor didn't let him get anywhere near his former hookup and co-star last night. Okay.

This is a person that Jackie, you especially love, very popular TV show, their relationship on the TV show. Everybody shipped them and it turned into a whole thing. Wait, wait, wait. Can you say the whole thing? thing, the original thing. Speaking of former co-stars, the wife of this A-list actor didn't let him get anywhere near his former hookup slash co-star.

So the wife isn't famous, but the actor was in a very famous, very popular, very beloved show that was just pretty recent. Where the two people were together. He was with this other actress and everybody thought they were together, together. And his wife is allegedly very jealous, although we very much disagreed with. this narrative at the time. We are, you got a shirt about him, Jackie.

I got a shirt about him. We're talking about Spike? I know. Did I tell you about my new Spike shirt? Because I'm very excited about my new Spike shirt. I'm sorry, that's Buffy. That's all Buffy conversation. He was the Grinch in his own commercial recently.

We discussed it last week. Oh. Oh. Ah. Ah! He's so hot. He is rugged. The show had Patrick Swartz to digger at it.

There you go, thank you. Oh, that Goggins! And his wife wouldn't let him get near Amy Lou Wood. Amy Lou Wood. Yes, because it's too electric. Allegedly. Again, we disagreed with this entire narrative at the beginning. Yeah.

Yeah, because it was, they were just co-stars working together very professionally, but, you know, the blinds and the blinds. And then last but not least, just because this one's fun, no one wanted to be caught in a picture. with the former A-list actor and his actress wife. That is a no-win photo. Who was a couple, very famous, both of them. Nobody wants to be anywhere near them because of a video they made. Ashton Kucher, Emilio Koonis. There you go.

I saw the video as the letters. I saw people writing, wow, you're letting her present Golden Globes. Yeah. I guess we're forgetting about that letter of support. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, and she wasn't even good in the Knives Out movie. Like, she's whatever, you know, like, couldn't you have cast anyone else who didn't defend Danny Masters?

She was fine. I fell asleep watching the new night's home. Yeah. Yeah. I started. I stayed asleep three times. I had to start doing a thing where if I lie down when I'm watching something and I start to fall asleep, I have to sit up.

Yes. Like, because I will just pass right out. Like we were watching the pit the other day and I was like, mm. And then I was like, what? And I just shot straight up. I was like, I want to finish watching this. Especially with the pit. You don't want to miss a second of it.

Wait, it wasn't the pit. We were watching Bogonia. Oh, that's another one you don't want to miss a second of. Oh, my God. It is, it's good. Did you end up finishing it? Oh, yeah. Oh, it's good.

Well. Or not into it. I thought it was good. I didn't like the ending. Yeah. I, okay. I get it. I get it.

You know? And we will finish that conversation later because we don't want to spoil it for anyone. I can see again. Welcome back. Welcome back, MJ. And I hope that you enjoy that the first thing that you're going to see, Back to the land of the living is Jackie's Snacky's. Yes.

I've been a snacky girl. Snacky. I've been a snacky girl. Snacky. I've been a snacky girl. Snacky. I've been a snacky, snacky, snacky. Is somebody going to eat those chips?

Is somebody going to dip those dips? Is somebody going to try those candies? I got seminar. They say I'm a snack lead. And I got very excited, Kara, because I know the eating. you enjoy more of a chaco and I went to the store because I know that they're dropping all of the Valentine's Day stuff. And when it comes to Valentine's Day, I'm a chaco in terms of C-H-A-L-K.

I like Conversation Hearts. Oh. I like any of that chocolate shit. Chucky, really? Now that's very good to know. I love Conversation Hearts. I really love them. The crunchy ones.

When they're crunchy. Oh, my gosh. God, I'll save you. I'll save them for you. So if I get any, I'll make sure that I give them to you. Now, I hope that you love, now these are the linder truffles, right? The lint truffles that we see in the bags. And they're always coming out limited edition ones.

But for Valentine's Day, they came out with three limited edition ones. Oh. One is a raspberry cheesecake. One is a strawberries and cream. One is a dark strawberry. I question to you guys Do they taste any different From each other?

Yeah. Well, but is the dark strawberry dark chocolate? I imagine it's dark chocolate. What is dark strawberry? Sounds like a super fillet of some kind. And these two are white chocolate truffles, which to me as someone that's not a huge white chocolate person, I'm like, why would you even bother making them both white chocolate?

I'm not a huge white chocolate person either, but the one I am the most interested in is the right. raspberry cheesecake. Raspberry cheesecake. I don't, I mean, I was going to make you eat all three. Oh, well, I will. Yeah. Is it too early in the morning to eat three?

Three bonnet? What about, Peggy Bundy? I mean, you know, I say it all the time. Al Bundy would have fucking wished to have Peg Bundy. Oh my God. Are you kidding me? Ow. Hal.

She's so hot. Okay, this is the raspberry cheesecake. I just wanted to check out and see which of these limited aflady of flavors. If you like these kind of truffles, which one you should get? If you like a, a chocolatey, fruity kind of truffle. Now, I'm upset because on the picture of, on the page of the raspberry cheesecake, it seemed like there would be more stuff in the white chocolate. Like, there would be more chuncles in it. What are we? Oh, Kara's really getting into it. I love raspberry cheesecake. Makes me want to go to juniors right now. I love this.

The raspberry cheesecake, I love it. I would eat it. And I'm not even a huge white chocolate fam. I would eat this. I would eat like a whole bag of these. Wow. Ooh. Oh my God, you know what it is?

It's nice and cheesecakey. Because the raspberry on the outside, the raspberry is in the white chocolate. So it's not a lot of raspberry. Yeah. But the inside is like a cream cheese frosting, it feels like. Yeah. So if you like a cream cheese,

it's forward on the cream cheese in the term. of raspberry cheese. It is, it is a great cheese forward. Cream cheese forward. Sounds so gross. All right. Should I try a dark strawberry? Yeah, you get it.

You get the dark strawberry. You get the dark strawberry and open the strawberries and cream. I will say I don't love dark chocolate, but when it's mixed with another flavor, like for example, the Trader Joe's Jo's that are peppermint for the holidays that are covered. It's like a covered chocolate. That's covered in dark chocolate, but the Oreo's doing work, the peppermin's doing work. The dark chocolate doesn't really affect me, but I have a little, like a little trash palette or I don't like dark chocolate.

Same. I feel like I'm not an adult because I don't like dark chocolate. Too bitter. Like when Jared and I, when Jared was trying to like lose weight for our wedding, he would just buy a bar of dark chocolate and just eat like a little square of it for dessert. And I'd be like, no worries here. I'm not going to go after that. You can get 10 bars of that.

I'm never going to touch it. Also, I'm going to throw it out there, this dark strawberry, the dark chocolate, it's not very, better. It really is. It really does taste more. This is quite good, but it's not touching the. It's not as good as the raspberry cheesecake because honestly, strawberry's not forward enough.

Now, Kara, do you want a round three? Am I doing this? Strawberry's and cream? Yeah. Strawberries and cream. Yeah. That's interesting. Three of this, I just feel like if you're going to do three limited edition

flavors, they should all be very different. Let the record show. Jackie's taking bites of hers and I'm eating the entire thing. Yes, and I'm very proud of you. I got a whole day ahead of you Three balls of chocolate inside you What do we think? I think it's too much

I think it's strawberries and cream I would say First up Raspberry cheesecake The second dark strawberry I guess Like faded second And then the strawberries and cream I don't like it

If you like strawberries This is a good box And I like strawberry flavor But not this much. Not this much with the white chocolate. I feel like the white chocolate makes it too. The dark chocolate like cuts it. It does cut it and I feel that

it's, you're right, if you like strawberry and you like that, it is given strawberries and cream. I'll throw that out there. Yeah. But I think this raspberry cheesecake, I think that takes the cheesecake. If you guys are looking for something to give your loved one for

a V-day, a holiday I barely believe in. Yeah, and tell them, this is it. This is you doing the research right now. You're listening to the research to give to your partner. So if you think that they would like one of these things, you just got simple. Lindor

Raspberry Cheesecake, Limited Edition. It's limited edition. You're going to get laid if you give them. Raspberry cheesecake. I need the lit. Somebody give me the lit. But also, MJ who.

MJ's Minute Munchies. Ooh. Everything. they snack. If you're like me and you forget to buy anything for your partner and you get it from the bodega, today I've got taki churros. Oh my gosh. You're always eating some bodega treasure. It's just yes. It's what the bodega has. And so this is tachis, but there is zero heat. It's just tachis venturing into churos. And I've seen them around and I have been very curious. It's shaped like a taki. It appears to be a tachie, but instead of red or

or blue or some other god forsaken color. Oh, yeah. It's going to be crunchy. It's going to be cinnamon. It's going to be good. It seems like it's like a cinnamon twist of sorts. Yeah, it's good. It's weird.

It's like a corn chip. Yeah, does it give corn chip, though. It does. Yeah, it's like a corn chip, but with churro flavor on the outside. So it's cinnamon dusted corn chips. Yeah. I mean, it's not as good as a churro. I will say that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you like churros and you like corn chips, I think you'll like to- If you've ever had a couple Doritos in your mouth and then taken a bite of, I mean a couple Fritos. And then take a bite of a churro, this is for you. This is for you. Yes, that is exactly what if you've ever, yes, if you've ever gotten one of those like Subway churros while also eating a bag of fritos.

Wow. That's this. You know, everybody is trying to kind of combine salty and sweet these days, right? Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I got no problem with that. I'll probably, I feel like for me, because I know, Jackie, you always take the snacks and give them out at the studio.

And I'm just in my home and I'm always eating spicy things so my kids won't eat it. So for me, the test of whether the snack is good is, will I finish the bag or do I put it directly into the trash? Oh, yeah. I'll finish this bag. You think you'll keep back. Wow, you're going to finish the bag. Going to finish the bag. That's a finisher.

Okay. Wow. A review I didn't expect. I love that. you so much for Mj's Minute Munchies. And thank you everybody for sticking around for Jackie Snackies. Maybe you were, you know, I'm going to find more, I imagine. But I am going to be tucking into these weirdly textured chewy fruities coming up here. Pretty sure.

Yeah. Chewy fruity. I think I need it. I think we as a community need it. And thank you so much, Kara, for joining us on this week's episode of page seven. You got anything you want to throw out there? We know we've got your wine show every Wednesday. Every Wednesday I'm at Barbandini here in L.A.

hosting a stand-up show with my husband, Jared Logan, who has an amazing show on LPN called Bloodbath starring Jackie Zabroski and Henry Zabrosky and Ross Bryant that you should all check out. And then Jackie and I have Who's the Bitch every new episodes every Wednesday. Every Wednesday coming out with us. That's messed up episodes on Tuesday. And yeah, that's all. We can get Kara almost every day.

of the week. Yeah. Oh, just a little sprinkle of care. It's all you need, babe. And everybody, thank you so much for joining us on this week's episode of Page 7. My name is Jackie Zabrowski.

You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Warm. And you can come hang out with us over on our Patreon. Patreon. Patreon.com slash page seven podcast. We are next week, Buffy Musical episode.

And we are finishing up the third Sookie Stackhouse novel and going right into the fourth one. So come along for the ride. because I have to know what happens. And MJ? You can email us, page 7 podcast at gmail.com. We love hearing from you.

We are so thankful for your listening. And Kara, we are so thankful for you. We love having you. Thank you for me. I love coming on the globes. Thank you so much. And thank you, MJ. And everybody, have a hell of a week.

We'll be back soon. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.