Page 7 - Party Barfer w/ Kara Klenk

Episode Date: April 23, 2026

This week on Page 7, Jackie and MJ are joined by Kara Klenk, to discuss the uniting powers of "Mr. Brightside" and "Uptown Funk", as well as dig deep into the gastronomic terror "Gupperz", and Purdue makin' 6-7 chicken nuggets just in time for the trend to be over! Jackie reveals she feels a deep connection with Madison from "Love on the Spectrum" and her Dollar Tree sprees, Jill Biden lost the bidding for a "Heated Rivalry" cameo, then more Coachella talk, and Jackie maaaaaybe becomes a Belieber! Jackie hasn't seen "The Miniature Wife", but the billboard and preview she saw was enough to make her hate it, Madonna and Sabrina Carptener's photos together during Coachella went viral, and Jackie's excited for new Dan Levy show "Big Mistakes!" Then it's on to the list, blindz, plus Jackies Snackies @ 1:15:09.776 and MJ's Minute Munchies @ 1:26:45.301 til 1:31:56.975, plus even more! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Boutique flu season, page seveners. Oh, yeah, everyone's heard about, everyone heard because last week I had the boutique flu. So where'd you get yours? How much did you pay? Oh, it was vintage. And don't even ask me how much I paid for it. I paid too much. Although I really got my bang for my book because the flu really, it was sticking around for quite some time.

Were you barfing? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was all across the board, baby. Your house has seen a lot of barf lately, and I hate to say that I was one of the contributors to that. Yeah, but you were like a part of it. barfer. You know,

everything I barfed at your house was clear. See, and that's how you know you're doing the party. Clear liquid in her house.

April, I say we keep all of this in. No, I want to keep all of this in. I'm sure all of our list, all of our mutual listeners are like sick

of hearing about me. No, they're not. I think they love it. Fucked up that night. They like it because it shows that you're mortal. I'm a human.

Yes, you are. And you're just a human. Coming out of your cage and you've been doing just fine. I gotta be down because I'm What it all started out with a kiss. I needed it in a black miss.

It was only a kiss. It was only a kiss. Now fall in a sleep. I'm still going and she's calling a cab while he's having a smoke. And she's taking a drink. Never going to bed. And my stomach is sick. And it's all in my head.

But she's touching it just now. He takes over just now. Let me go. I'm not going to sing all of Mr. Brightside. You can't go that far and stop. I've got Brightside blue balls now. I just can't look. It's killing me.

Thank you. And taking control. Jealousy. It takes a long time to get to the bright side. It takes a long time. Yeah, it's a long intro. It's all good. I've had Mr. Brightside randomly in my head.

And that's, man, how do you know you're a millennial if you randomly get Mr. Brightside stuck in your head? because that song was really, I think that we were all getting paid to hear that killer's song back in the day, right? I mean, nothing really makes, like I was at a wedding two summers ago with somebody who is like a good,

I'm 40, this person is probably 45, 46, but they save Mr. Bronside for the end. And I don't think I've ever seen a room full of millennials to Gen Xers so happy. Popping off. We united. It was like, you know, when Steve's like, Like Uptown Funk comes on.

You know, it's another one of those. Much better. It's like when you, it's like the Steve Martin sketch. Well, better than what? Uptown. Yeah, I said Uptown Funk. That's what I said. I cannot imagine why you chose that.

You know why? Because I specifically think about Sina and I ripping up the dance floor in some Canadian dance club in the early 2000s when Uptown Funk came on and Sina and I made a bunch of sexy friends. Wow.

I did that do I not know. I did not know. Uptown Funk had that kind of power. I don't think it does. It was like right when it first came out. Also, it was crazy because the Canadian clubs, and forgive me, this was about eight years ago when I was hit in the Canadian clubs, they were all playing music that was playing like six years ago. Like it was great because it wasn't current music.

But it was exactly what I wanted. So we really lost our minds. Yeah, yeah. Because I was going to say uptown folk was 2014. It was also, I was working in middle schools at the time. So I remember what was hot. And it was also Hotline Bling season, which was a great time. I would go back to that time in a heartbeat.

Remember that one? God, I know. You think I don't remember Hotline Bling? How dare you just say it in front of me? Because now it's going to get stuck in my head to MJ. But also, Kara Clank, welcome to the show. Thank you guys for having me back. So I feel like I was just here.

And I'm sorry if the listeners feel that way as well. I think everyone's excited that you're here. Shubbing me in a few more times before I have to go away for the summer. Because Kara leaves for the summer and she leaves us, so we have to get as much Kara time in as we can. I love to be here. I'm so excited already for the blinds. Oh, yeah. I know. Just get me to the blinds. I tried to pick good ones for you since I know that you did say.

It's my favorite. That's your favorite part, not to brag, Jackie. But I do Kara's favorite part. It's good. It's good. It's good. Putting a horrific fruity chewy in my mouth and letting my face do whatever it's going to do. Well, unfortunately, we're not even doing it.

I know. I know. you told me you're expanding. I pre-talked to Kara because I wanted to make sure because I was like, I know that I bring in fruity chewis when you come down the pipeline, but I got something else, but don't worry, we'll get to that later. I'm happy to do some chocolate. Yes, it'll be something that's actually a positive one, not like what we did to pour Sina last week. What happened? Oh, those wax candies are still upstairs and you should try one.

They were nasty. I think we got an email about them. We definitely, like, it's amazing. We got an amazing email about them because so Kara sometimes we were written into by like some people that worked at Amos like the make the peelers. You're more of like the Harabo bitch. I also am usually like a Harrow-ass bitch. But we brought in these things, these horrific items called guppers, G-U-P-P-E-R-Z. And someone, so someone I want to say thank you so much to Sonnet who wrote in that was talking about that.

they work at a non-candy related nonprofit, but their co-worker's father works for a candy distributor. They received, around Christmas time, seven or eight cases of guppers in every quote, Sonnet said, horrible flavor that exists. And I just wanted everyone to know because Sonnet went out and did the work for us

that the worst flavors were strawberry milk splash, because also these had like, exploding things on the inside. and popping pickle. I was curious about the pickle ones. Yeah, so imagine a workplace, a nonprofit workplace. You're trying to do something good for the world.

You're doing good. You're burdened with eight cases. This is like nihilistic. This is like, let's watch the world burn candy, right? Oh, yeah. First of all, they're called guppers. Are they American?

I don't know. I don't want to know. And then they, first of all, their tagline is gummy liquid-filled poppers. Oh, yeah. But poppers is spelt with a zes Z.

Oh, yeah. And Poppers is also a gay club drug. You're right. And I feel like when we're talking like that, we usually also put a Z on there then, too. But I don't know if Guppers knows that. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, I agree. It is like a, it's like a, I don't know if it's like a sign of like the end times or if it's just like an ironic, like let's just make shit. Strawberry milk splash. I mean, these flavors look nasty. Yeah, dude. I don't know why it happens, you know. It's just like, it's, it's, it's, it feels like an insult that this

company exists. Yeah. And is doing this to all of us, but here's the thing. I imagine there's some guppers enthusiasts out there. They have to exist. They have this many flavors. Somebody's sucking them back. I don't know. I don't know. Everything is either an ad or a troll now, you know, or a bit. But yeah, I mean, if they're sending them to a nonprofit, then they've got to be trying to make a living. I'm just glad that we didn't hear from anybody who works at guppers because, you know, that I would feel bad. in their terms of service trying to find out where they're from. Right.

They're keeping it in their contact. It is close to the hip over there. They operate on Shopify. But I will throw it out there that, you know, not everybody is as on top of their finger on the pulse of the candy game like Purdue Chicken is. I saw this and I laughed and I laughed and I laughed. And I saw, you know, I follow a lot of snack fluencers out there. And they just started releasing Purdue Chicken Nuggets.

that are six, seven shaped. A freaking year later. It's already over. It's so over. This was happening like in the early fall. I'm thinking in the course of the school year. It was early school year. But like kids that don't really understand trends,

like my kids, if they see the number 67, we'll still be like six seven. Of course because they're made. They're not doing it. They're not chanting it as much. It's because first and second graders are like the last stop on the trend train. Yeah.

Like the same with Labuboos and K-pop Demon Hunters. It starts with actual, you know, tweens, teens, like actual teenagers like it. And then it works its way down. And then by the time, I think everyone thinks that adults killed six, seven, which is, I think definitely true. Evidence by Purdue making six seven chicken nuggets. But I think, but then what I've also seen, especially like being in middle school, like working in middle school this year, is that as soon as like their little siblings are doing

it because they think it's cool that older kids. do it, that gives the older kids, like, I can never touch this anymore. Well, the principal at our school started doing it. And that was where the kids were like, I think we got to call it. Yeah. Yeah. Even in elementary school, they know once the principal is hidden it. No, no, no, no.

We're not doing this anymore collectively as a society of children. You know, and that's when they start to go all Lord of the Flies. I feel like once they start realizing that we could rise up against them. And I think that's why I'm absolutely terrified of anyone that works in a school just because I know, like MJ, I imagine part of your grad school is learning what to do in case the children like the robots all decide to have an uprising. Revolution. Revolution preparedness. Yeah. Revolution prepared. No surprise. So it only it's not on our radar. Really? It's not at all. Not on our radar. No, it should be. Yeah, I thought we were trying to teach the kids to enact change. And I mean, again, if lay miss taught us anything, that is we want to hear the people sing.

And maybe they're singing six, seven. I don't know. Can you hear the kindergartner sing singing the songs? I just want to know, you know, everyone who works at a school has let their guard down about the number 69 now, of course, because you can you can, you can, you believe? There was like, they were doing like attendance rates. and there was like a class that had 69% attendance and they were like, we can't put this up on a bulletin.

No. Like we weren't born yesterday. Round it up. Yeah, round it up. Round it up. But they did. And there was another class that had 67% attendance.

And that was the one that all the kids freaked out about. And so all the adults were like, we did it. Whoa. We never have to worry about this again. But I'll better. It'll come back when they learn about sucking dicks. Yeah. Of course they are.

Guys, by the way, guppers, I found. it deep in the terms of service are governed in accordance with the laws of Canada. Aha. How dare you, Canada. You act so better than us. I was just praising your clubs. I thought you guys were the nice ones. Yeah.

And then you made guppers. You're given guppers clubs. You got health care. Wait, so the guppers were what Sina had to eat. Yes. Yeah. So I'm giving you the nice. Sometimes, you know, with Jackie Snackies, it's a naughty or nice situation.

You never quite know if it's going to be a good. day or if it's going to be a bad day. I mean, if it's Holden, he usually knows it's probably going to be a bad day. But I usually try to save it from him. I thought maybe the guppers were going to be good because everyone was telling me that I got to go to five below, which again, they've got great. Chewy Fruities at five below. Just saying that. Yeah, there's a five below right. Wait, what's five below? Oh, oh, Kara, I think there's one right by my house. I think there's one right by my house. I'm to go. Dude.

Oh, be careful. You will, like, I have a compulsion. Now, we used to, when I, when we used to buy, like, holiday gifts for, like, 250 kids at my old school, we would go to five below because you can get a lot of stuff there. I think we get, like, Halloween costume prizes there for a school. Yes. Yes. It's a good, it's good for that.

But it is, like, now I have a compulsion that every time I pass five below, I'm, like, got to go to five below, got to find something. Yeah. Yeah. And don't, don't let your kids know about it, you know, because if you're, at least here in New York, you know, you pass the dollar store and the kids know that it's full of terrible treasures. Yeah.

Tiny cheap treasures that will immediately disappoint. And five below is kind of like the ultimate place to be excited and immediately disappointed. Yeah, they can never know.

Which is what happened with the guppers. Yeah, don't let them know. Oh my God. It just makes me think of I finish out, which really love on the spectrum. I love this show so much.

I'm like, I could watch it. Forever! Give me more! And one of the people on the show, they were talking about learning money management. And she was talking about that she had

a different time when she first went to college because she had money for and no one was watching and her parents at the end of the year went to her dorm room and it was filled with stuff from Dollar General because there was one where she could walk to and she was just filling her room with it and but it was great because she's like this is how I learned my financial management over time was I got and it was because of her addiction to like go into the Dollar General because she would get such good shit because I love me a Dollar General. General. Don't let me loose

and like to this day and I don't know if it is just the like I don't know the Tallahassee and me where I feel like that's what was like oh it's a wet Southern Summer Day I guess we may as well smoke a joint walk on down to the Dollar General. It's like we were genuinely doing that so yeah

I understand is all I'm saying but they got good toys. Do we understand where Jill Biden is coming from because we speaking of dollars she tried to spend 35 thousand of them. 35,000 of them, dude. I can't decide how I feel about this.

I think it's fine and cute that she, they were at a fundraiser and there was like a, they were bidding to get a cameo on heated rivalry. And Jill Biden bid $35,000. And I guess that's fine. There's just something about me that's like, what if you spent that money on something else, Jill Biden? I know you that she knew she wasn't going to win.

I'm sure. I bet you she was trying to like play along and up the bids. I imagine because also all of the donations for a New York City LGBT Center's annual center dinner. So it was it was going towards something. But what was the winning bid? I believe it was $120,000. Yeah, she wasn't even in the ballpark. $125,000.

Oh, I'm sorry, $125,000 each. So it was a total of $250 for, I guess it was two people. Yeah, so they're doing two walk-ons. and it's two, they raise $250, which also, okay, that's fun. Great idea to raise the money for a foundation. Like, I did love that. And I like that season two of Heated Rivalry is working in that capacity of ways of like,

yes, use what you had. You know, I feel like I do talk to a lot of queer people that are like, that is, it was a show that, like, that are upset because it's like, it's a show that was made for straight women and that it's not made for queer people. And I was just like, but at least we're getting it. Can we just say, but we're all getting it? And maybe it's because we're currently watching Desperate Housewives and we know how gay characters were treated not that long ago through media

that I'm like, at least we're getting great romances. Okay, come on. Give us that. Yeah. Yeah. I think that the, I don't know, I think the heated rivalry discourse is interesting, especially because, as you know, my terrible Instagram algorithm is, unfortunately just like only people telling me how to parent. And I need to stop listening to them

because nobody knows. I think it's like specific to each kid and parent relationship, I think. But there's like all of these like mom influencers who are like, you know, real corny mom influencers who just want to talk about heated rivalry. And they also all love Akitar. And I'm like, I'm happy for you guys. You're discovering smut and you're discovering, you know, you're getting horny for probably the first time in years. Yeah, but also there's so much smut out there. There's so much that you can read, you know. And see, this is also forever. My problem is I loved, you know I loved heated rivalry, but my forever issue is it's still human beings.

And that's really what my problem is with my porn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I want my eroticism. You want monster creatures. I need, I need something more than just human beings. I need something a little bit more. Yeah. And that's okay to admit.

And that's why I'm writing a crypted fuck game so that I can do these things, guys. But also definitely check out. I can't remember if I said this on Second Helpings last week. Go over to my Instagram, Jack That Worm, and follow the link in my bio. That's the Discord channel where I'm going to start popping up the different versions of Chupacabra. I'm trying to like finalize. We want everyone's input, like genuinely want their input. And so we're all going to be putting it on the Dorian Discord.

So if you follow the link in my profile on Instagram, you can go and that's where I'm going to start posting everything. So you can vote on like if you want Chupacabra thick and juicy or if you don't. Chupacabra's got a dad bought. I like to see him look a little bit more ab out. Right. Okay. That's what we're looking for.

Everybody's screaming because I don't know if you genuinely know this, but the Mothman statue that is put up in Point Pleasant, like where Mothman is. quote unquote from and where he had his visions from. The actual statue has a huge dumper on it. He's got this big old juicy ass. And everybody keeps asking me if his dumper is going to be involved, then you think it's not? We've got an ass that big.

I mean, it's on the statue. The moth man's got an ass that won't quit. Yeah, baby. And I'm worried that he's going to go ass first toward a light, and we got to make sure he comes towards us. Is that related to the Mothman prophecies? Yes. A movie which I have seen.

Oh yeah. Remember? Chapsdick. No, I don't remember that. It was like that was like that was like the big that was the like that was the I'll never tell like any of you. Oh yes. Basically the Mothman keeps prank calling like whoever's in the movie and then they're like what am I holding in my hand and they open their hand and the Mothman and the phone goes Japsstick. Why?

Well now I feel like I have to watch the Mothman prophecies again. I don't know if it's good. I'm saying, yes. All right, all right. I'm watching the Mothman prophecies again. Yes. I haven't watched it. It's just kind of rare

that I've seen like a horrory movie that you haven't seen. Or not horror. I don't even what you call that. I think it's a thriller. I think it's called a supernatural thriller. Yes. I believe it's a thriller.

Still that I would have even seen that. But also Mothman like in my brain is hot as hell and he's got, because he has all these visions and I think he's misunderstood. I'm making him more of like an Edward Cisorhands type. Oh, where he's just has, He's plagued by visions and he doesn't know what to do with all of his intending.

Yes. Just like it. Oh, my. Yes. So I'm going to have to start watching all these movies so I can get all these crossover. Yeah. And include all of it. But definitely check out my Instagram, Jack That Worm, and start hanging out in the Dorian chat, y'all.

Yeah. Now, to talk about two people who I don't want to have sex with, but who I did very much enjoy watching at Coachella Weekend 2. Yes, I hear your cry. that I was a big capitalist when I came to supporting Justin Bieber's Coachella performance last weekend. I loved it. I thought it was great.

And I loved it again. I hear all of your cries of how awful I am because I didn't give Justin Bieber enough of a shot and that he's been through the ringer in the system and part of me in my head. But I just found out something and I'm probably going to absolutely mangle it. Sina came in right before we started recording

and he's like, I found out something else about the, that I believe elevates all of the performances that he's currently doing and has to do. And now I'm like, actually, I think this might be brilliant. And I think that I've completely changed because he just sold his catalog. Right. So he can't play a lot of this music. And that's why he's playing the YouTube versions and karaokeing over it. Because he's allowed to do that.

Why did he sell his catalog? For that cash. I mean that money, money, money. Because he wasn't able to tour for a long time because he had the Bell's Palsy. And all the other issues that he was having. So he sold the catalog. But that I didn't even realize. And that makes a lot of sense.

Wait, so he sold his catalog and that means he cannot perform his songs anymore? Or at least the way that they were. I mean, again, I know. He has to do like Bieber's version. And like re-record all of them? No, I don't under, that was the thing. Like, last week when we were talking about this, I don't totally understand, like, all of the, like,

legalities of what it means to sell a catalog. But there was, to sell your catalog of music, but there was a blind last week saying that Bieber, like, that he has a lot of trauma around those songs. And that, like, that informed him selling them because he doesn't like to sing them because it brings back bad memories. But then also, to me, that, I think, makes him carry duetting with his younger self even better.

More meaningful. Yeah, as an artistic statement because he is, he is reached. I see the performance, yes, and I don't, obviously $10 million is bad. I don't think, I still think capital is bad, guys. But like, I think that looking back at your younger self and duetting with him and reaching, making this song that is reminding you of a very traumatic time in your life, but being like, that you were just a kid. And he said, I mean, this weekend, he said I was, I was just a kid singing songs.

I was just a kid that likes music. and all of this happened. And he said it was kind of like, I think it was kind of like a, and look at me now, but it's also just like actually kind of devastating. Like he was just a kid who liked to play music and sing songs and then he got all of this.

But I did, so I continued to like him. I liked his, his Coachella weekend too. I thought it was really sweet. But I, I fucking died at the Billy Elish thing. I thought it was so cute because she's like a lifelong fan.

All that stuff has been coming up in my feed of like Billy Elish when she's 10. Adorable. Making like videos about like. And like her doing interviews. For those that don't know, she was a huge, huge, huge, huge, Justin Bieber fan. Like the biggest believer to exist. And he brought her up on stage and he was singing to her.

And Haley Baldwin pushed her up, which I think is really sweet. And she was just like kept covering her face. It was just like, oh my God. Stop. Oh my God. And she did an interview a few years ago or something where they were like, what would you tell your younger self? And she'd be like that I can call Justin Bieber anytime I want and that he picks up.

Oh my God, that's crazy. So, yeah, Haley Bieber pushed her up because she knew that Billy was such a huge fan. And so, yeah, Billy Elish is totally fan-girling out. And Justin, you can see, I just watched it again before we recorded. You can hear him on the mic say, I didn't realize it was you. And so then that's when he gives her like a big hug. Like, he thought at first that he didn't see who it was. And then he sees it's her.

And then they like have this really sweet embrace, you know. Oh, so wholesome. Yeah, I just, I thought it was really nice. Adam, did you have something to add to the legality aspect of it? I was trying to figure that out. I was looking it up. But I had heard that he couldn't perform them because, God, I'm sorry. Scooter Braun.

Yeah, I had heard that he just couldn't perform his older songs. But I guess that's apparently just misinformation and people don't know what the hell they're talking about him. Gotcha, gotcha. All right. So, okay, that makes that art. Yeah, well, there was also the article about Usher, you know, how, right, Usher and how he, how he didn't, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's talking about, this is this whole Beber weekend and they're, he's talking about all the people who brought him up and everything. And Usher is, like, very clearly, like a shithead in the room not being mentioned as, like, the guy who, like, decided to bring Justin Bieber to all these adult parties when he was 13, you know, was he the gateway to the Sean Colmes parties was Usher. At least that's part of the theory. And Scuder Ron was also his manager. And yeah, I just like these, both, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, Right. Scooter Braun's established shithead for different reasons.

Oh, and don't worry. I'm so glad that he and Sydney, Sweden, are so publicly together. It makes the most sense. Of course, the, like, yucco number one and yucco number, I'm sorry, and Surn number two, together found each other. And I hope, oh, I just hope they're happy. Oh, yeah. Oh, you yuckos. Oh, get out of here. I mean, it... Especially right now, Usher is touring with Chris Brown on top of everything, which is just, again, every time I see Chris Brown, I'm like, how is Chris Brown still, like, how is he still performing? All right? He continues to be incredibly popular.

And I really feel like there hasn't been, like, there was a really interesting article a few years ago about Michael Vick and, you know, the dog fighting thing and Chris Brown. and that Michael Vick has actually done like a lot of repair, like, and has like apologized and like I think like did a bunch of like contributing to like charities for animals and like did all these things and that there's still, the article that I read was like there's still all this like that Michael Vicks's career never really recovered from like the cruelty to animals. And that with Chris Brown is just like it just hasn't had an impact on his career in any meaningful way. He's an incredibly successful artist.

It's almost as if cancellation is a myth. Oh, it just depends. on the person. Yeah. Just depends on who knows. Chris Brown and Usher thing. Like I know, I think, yeah, it's not, I don't think that there's like any specifications with Usher like the way that there is with like Diddy and everything.

But like I was thinking back on this just because I remember that the time, the meteoric rise of Justin Bieber and it was just like, oh, isn't this cute? Usher brings this child's everywhere, like to everywhere, to all of the parties. And I hope that we have now come to a place in society where it's like, you shouldn't just bring a kid everywhere to adult parties all the time. That's weird. Well, it's like a sexism thing too because if it was a 14 year old girl, people would be like, what?

But because it's a boy, they're like, he's so lucky. It's like when little boys will be like, I lost my virginity when I was 12. You're like, no, you didn't. Like that's not what happened. Like, you know, like people are like, the boys are just happy to be there. Like with like teachers that have sex with their, or rape their students, excuse me. Yes. And it's part of what we talk about

with Desperate Housewives with the whole like Gabrielle like in the beginning. Oh yeah. How old is Jesse? He's 17. John. John.

Yeah. He's 17. My name. My favorite. His real name is Jesse. Yeah. So he was seven. Because he's in high school.

And like at one point she goes over to his house where he lives with his mom and like he's showing her all of his like high school trophies in his dirty high school bedroom. And I was just like, oh my God. And that show's not that old. It's not that. that old. And Riverdale is even more recent.

And Riverdale also, first season of Riverdale, which started, I think, I want to say, what, 2016? Yeah. Was, you know, Archie in a quote-unquote relationship with his teacher. And, yeah, they just went for it, you know? Yeah, 2017. So it wasn't that long ago that we were still like, yeah, but it's like he's a guy. So it's fine.

Just spoiler alert, it's not. I know that's a crazy hot take from Jackie. But you know what? It's not the only hot take I'm going to have in this episode. Oh, yeah? Because I tell you what, y'all. I had a little bit of a mini, mentee B a couple of days ago because I was tired. Y'all know I had a boutique flu last week.

I was just not feeling good. Such an exclusive flu. Oh, God. You know, it's the L.A. About me. Yes. Not everybody got it. But don't worry, I definitely spread it to a bunch of people.

But I saw a billboard for a show. And part of the reason why I am also, I went back and watched fully the Bieber performances. Because Kara, last week, I was shitting on it a little bit. I mean, not even a little bit. I was like, he got paid $10 million and he's up there on YouTube, you know? And I was coming at it from an old person's perspective. So, sorry, I am so out of the loop on the car. Coachella of it because, like, I saw the video of Billy, but like, what do you mean? He was just

on stage and the YouTube was playing, like, behind him. Literally. Yeah, like he was like pulling up. Like his, like the videos that made him famous, um, he was pulling up though. There was also there was other YouTube videos. And singing with them. Correct. What I thought, what I appreciated about to me, the what was the artistry of it was like his, yeah, like his, his very early, like before he was like famous, the videos that made him famous on YouTube singing with them. And then he also went through, like last weekend and this weekend, he went through some of his, like, very early hits, like, baby and one less woman girl. And he was, like, taken even, like, shoutouts from, like, Coachella chat of, like, what to play next and things like that. So, and then-

So you thought it was kind of, like, lazy. I thought it was lazy. And, like, you're getting $10 million and you're singing over a track and, like, okay. And then I'm finding out more information. And, you know, we also know that there's going to be a Bieber show. Like, it's like all of this, like, all the behind the scenes is going to be shot for this, I believe, like a docu-series that's coming out. I can't remember if it's a documentary over a docu-series. But the reason why I'm definitely changing at least my stance on it is because I saw a billboard for the show, miniature wife. Oh, no. And it is starring.

What the fuck is that? It is starring Elizabeth Banks and Matthew McFadden. And it is just a, Matthew McFadden from Succession, from, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, I don't know him by name. I know exactly what you're talking about. Yes. And I saw little wife up there, right? And I, at first I was just like, I mean, this is it like, honey, I shrunk the life, right?

It's like, there's no way that that's what this show is. And then I did because I was stoned and I was just with my husband. I was yelling about the fact that I was like, there's no way it's just that the wife is little, that they gave a whole show of just these two celebrities. And it's, honey, I shrunk my wife. And then I go home and I watch the trailer for it. And it is just, he's a scientist and he accidentally shrinks his wife. And the whole, like, aspect of it of like, sometimes women feel small.

Oh, that's symbolic. It's a simple. It's a simple. me want to burn the world to the ground. And again, I think it's because, like, we're in the middle of writing this cryptid fuck game. It's like, you know, we look at what we do here at LPN, and don't get me wrong, what we do is not for everybody.

You know, we try to hit all different sides and try to, like, you know, have all different kinds of content. But we really, I think that if there's one thing you notice from this entire network, is we're not necessarily shooting to be accessible all the time. And to everyone. To everybody. It's a fine. It's a fine.

And I just looked at it and from the artistry aspect of like I went on a really meant d. Be about like someone walks in and like and I know I'm pretty sure Elizabeth Banks is like one of the producers. So it's like so a celebrity comes in. It's just like, okay, get this. Not only is she a wife, but she's little. And I just imagine.

I just don't get how that's a television show and not a movie. movie. If it's a movie, if it's a movie, how does that sustain season over season? I'm shocked. I'm shocked to realize it's a television show. Also shocked to see it as a 74% on Rotten Tomatoes, Jackie. I know. And I have, and like, that's the thing is that I was talking with someone. They're like, well, have you watched it? And I was like, no, I haven't. And I, because I was hoping that maybe when I watched the trailer, it was going to be like a Kevin can F himself or like something where it's like, oh, that was such a good show. Right. It's like, it's a, it's a, it's a, a dynamic. make that like you're used to, but they're doing it in a different way.

It's a gimmick, but it's a gimmick in service of a cool idea. Of something different and new. And so that's why the only reason why I come back full circle to Justin Bieber, because I was yelling about all of this on Jack and on Friday. And then people were like, but then you're ripping apart Justin Bieber for trying something different. And I was like, you know what? You're right.

And what's saying you, Jackie? And I did. And I was like, you are right. because at least, I've always said this, especially about like horror movies and stuff like that, if you're making a different choice, I mean, I'm probably going to at least watch it and or enjoy it in some capacity because like, well, you're making, certainly, we've never seen someone like Justin Bieber do something like that before, you know, like there is that aspect of it. And I just really spiraled about miniature fucking wife. And I even included so angrily

in our document because one of like it's just like the miniature wife has a setup that begs you to pay attention I did that decision is dubious

come with me and decide for yourself that also made me want to burn the world to the ground I was just it doesn't beg me to pay attention doesn't beg me to pay attention

when it was 1990 and honey I shrunk the kids came out like don't get me wrong I love the honey I shrunk the kids the reviews are mixed on threads

I came to threads because I'm not on X anymore. Oh, yes. No. So I can't, just to see what people are saying, it's not what you think, but that they're not saying that. It is what you think. Yeah. I mean, Matthew McFadden is like, I love him so much. I would do anything for him.

I love Matt. And I also really like Elizabeth Banks, too, which is why I was like, there's got to be something. But then even the most boring headline of this review is Peacock's, the miniature wife, is big on feelings. and that's not nothing. That's your headline? This really feels like an arrested development cutaway joke. Or a three rock joke.

Or a 30 rock joke. It makes me, I'm like, we had Milf Manor. That's why I was like, which was a 30 rock joke that I was like, maybe they are doing this. And it's like, but she lives in a dollhouse. Yeah, it feels like Jenna being like, well, I can't do that because I have season 12 of the miniature wife.

Exactly. And then they got his quick contact to Jenna. And she's like, can you even hear me up there? You know? Yes, 100%. It's so stupid. This seems like a bit. And you're right.

Kevin can F himself is a great example where at first I was like, I don't know. Like that is really gimmicky. And then I was like, this is so good. This is so interesting. And so it is weird and gimmicky, but also it's like incredibly well done. And maybe that's happening with the miniature wife. But also, you miniature. miniature wife heads out there.

If you exist. Get on my mini whites up. Obviously, I have changed my opinion on the Justin Bieber before. Like, I'm not above being wrong, all right? I definitely am wrong. I stand corrected all the time. I'm like, look, I originally thought this.

I'm on the opposite. And I have now changed, you know? A lot of people agreed with you, Jackie, because they're like, $10 million is too much to get paid for this. And, you know, I, again, to go back to my algorithm, in addition to a bunch of people telling me how to parent, There is a lot of child mental health specialists on there, okay?

And not the one from Love Overboard, who loves big honkers, everyone else who's a child mental health specialist. Flacios and shit. Yes. And a lot of the child mental health specialists are looking at the Bieber thing as this like, you know, speaking to your inner child thing, which I think I, you know, so that. So that was the framework that we're out of coming from. Also, like the amount of money people spend on Coachella, it's so corporate, all this money's going into it. Why not give Justin Bieber $10 million? He's the reason a lot of people are fucking going.

Right. He never performs. I'm like, oh yeah, $10 million is, that's too much money, but it's Coachella. He didn't structure the payments system. It's not like it was $10 million for him to go do some little show in a small town. You're right. It's a massive festival that has so much money flooding into it at all times. They've got the money, so I guess they may as well give it to Beaver, you know.

And he's, yeah. And I agree with you, Jackie also that like what Sabrina is doing is also, you know, is incredibly interesting and amazing. and amazing. And she had a much bigger show. I loved her with the Madonna. Yeah. The Madonna. Really fun.

It is very funny. I've seen so many memes. There's a picture of Madonna like posing with Sabrina Carpenter. And it's just so many memes of just like my like my almond mom who woke up and ran four miles before 5 a.m. And me barely able to huff it up the stairs. Like not in a way of making fun of Sabrina Carpenter. I'm just making fun of the different generations of like of Madonna who's still just like, so tight and just has to be young.

And then the young people are just so like, yeah, we just vibe in. Yeah, yeah. Why don't you just chill out? We just vibe in. The world's over. How about we vibe, you know? Yeah. And I love, it is, I'm surprised that Madonna got out of the crypt.

I was kind of, I, I was kind of, I, I swear. And when she was first coming down instead of stairs, she was really holding on tight to this one man's arm. And I was like, I mean, that would be me. And I'm like 20 years younger than Madonna. Like, but I would be like. like terrified that I'm going to fall and break a hip in front of all these people. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

And Madonna's real weird. But then once she got onto the flat, like the flat ground, like the runway or whatever with Sabrina, she seemed like she was doing great. I mean, she's kicking. Looks great. Yeah. Doing great. I mean, I mean, she does.

I don't know if she's mentally doing great. I feel like physically. Physically. Physically, she's killing it. I can't get inside the inner mind of Madonna. No. I don't know what's going on. You could have you hang out here long enough

because we read a lot about what's going on in her head. And it's weird. It is weird. But, you know, I live with a Gen Xer, and I think that I have like, it is contagious to love Madonna. He was, he's, you know, I just think you can't be of that generation

without being like, there's one pop star and it's Madonna. And now that has rubbed off on me. And so I was very excited to see her with Sabrina because I was like, oh, the mother of pop. I freaking love Madonna. I love Madonna, though. I thought the Madonna

a movie was a bust. And now I saw recently she posted a photo with Julia Garner. Is it happening? Really? I don't know. I saw a photo posted of them in Venice and there was like the click clack of the, um, is it happening again?

Yes, it is happening. It's happening. Because everybody was like, it got like, I knew she had been cast, right? And then it got like, oh, it's broken down in production because of, you know, whatever Hollywood shit schedules. Probably Madonna being crazy and saying that certain things need to be

by the way. That's where... Oh, it was a gemwaugh? Okay. Is it happening again? Or is it a storyline in the studio is what I heard. I think it's even weirder than that. Why, Seth Rogen?

It's that meta. It's that matter. The movie, actually, I think, totally did fall apart now. Oh. Unless I'm crazy, sorry. No, all of this, though, everything that you're saying does make sense because literally it says we're finally getting the Julia Garner-led Madonna biopic in the studio. Sort of.

And then says Seth Rogen finally doing it the right. Yes, that's a lot. exactly. Thank you, Adam. I'm obsessed because I love the studio. And I need to go back and fit it because the studio was, I watched the first like four episodes that I was like, this is amazing television. And then I think

just, you know, life gets in the way. And it's one of those that I got to circle back to. But I need it. That show makes me laugh really hard because it's so, it's such like accurate scuring of Hollywood. But then what annoys me is then Hollywood gives itself. It literally is a show going, this is what's fucked up about

Hollywood. And then Hollywood turns around and goes, So true. Here's a bunch of awards. But they don't change anything. No. Like everything's still going to be, everything's still like, shit gets stuck in development hell. And there's all these like crazy people you have to work. I mean, I had dinner with my friend last night who got a movie made and it took her seven years. And her just telling me all the ends and outs of it.

I was like, this is a fucking crazy person's business. Oh, yeah. And the studio kind of highlights that. And then the Hollywood goes, that's so true, man. We're the worst. We're the worst. I feel like I was actually skeptical to watch. the studio at first because my thing is always that like I feel a little bit exhausted by by art that's

just about the industry yeah like industry creations that are about the industry but but many of them are good and also yeah I feel like in just the industry loves art about the industry like and so I was I you know and also it just is that the studio is incredibly well done and now I feel like I have to go back and finish season one just for Catherine O'Hara yeah oh god don't even say your name but don't even I mean I am although I am excited to see the new show that Dan Levy just put out that it's like his first show since Schitt's Creek that it's supposed to be good very different vibe but I want to check it out I forget but I know that I was seeing it everywhere and I wanted to check it yeah he's been doing a bunch of

big mistakes it's called big mistakes is what it's called but talk about big mistakes hopefully there's not one on the list because it's high for the list oh who's I the list. Me. Gotta have that list. There you go, Kara. Just talking about Madonna. Well, once the filming ended, I was put on a plane to rehab 50 Gen X celebrity facts that made me pause mid-scroll.

Obviously, we're not going to get through all of them. But we honestly might go through. There are so many, I was seeing so many weird things on this list. So I might come back to this one. But Hugh Jackman peed himself on stage while playing Gaston and Beauty and the Beast. He told Howard Stern, I was getting a lot of headaches and I went to a natural path. And the guy said, you're dehydrated. You got to drink like two liters of water before five o'clock.

So the first day, I drank two gallons. And the first time I sing, as I picked Bell up, a little bit of piss came out. And I'm wearing red tights. And then I thought, uh-oh. And I remember Bell over my shoulder whispering, what's going on? Because I'd stopped singing. And then at the end of the song, I had a choice. Sing that F sharp and piss my pants.

Or don't sing it and humiliate my pants. So I sang it and I just It was just going. It was just going. Wow. A real Liam Payson moment for Hugh Jackman. Oh, yes. At least though it wasn't just because he's sad and drunk

because his wife died. But it's just weird because like I don't know. You guys are you are both performers or have been at one point in your lives. Like I whenever I've had to get on stage having to peece so bad and it's like there's no time you're next. It goes away when you're up there. So I'm just surprised he couldn't like hold it. My biggest fear is, not my biggest, but every time before I go on stage, I'm like, I'm going to piss. Like, I have to piss.

I didn't piss. What if I piss on stage? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never happened in all these years, yeah. Damn, wow. Yeah, it's always, but then that's the thing. I always, yeah, I do a pre-piss, but you're not supposed to pre-piss. Everybody says, you can't do a pre-piss.

You got to wait. I have been to, and you guys know who this comedian is, but I'm not going to name him here. Ooh. I went to see him tape two albums because I think he's so funny. his first album taping, he has to leave in the middle of it because he's going to shit his pants. And it's fine. They're obviously going to edit that out.

But we're all like, this is hilarious. Like the opener had to come back out and like vamp while he went to take shit. Then I go see him record a second album years later. It happens again. I was like, this is, you got to go to a doctor. You men need to be eating vegetables. Yes. Yeah, you can't just wait until you're on stage.

My God. Remember Little Vaz-X had to leave to take a shit one time and everybody loved it. Everybody thought it was wonderful. When you got to go, you got to go. I feel like as long as you come back out, you know, let's just, you got to get it out of there. This reminds me of we just read a call on who's the bitch recently of someone telling us about their friend who goes in mid-conversation. I'll be right back. I'm just going to have sex real quick.

And then came back. And it came back. It's like you're in the middle of having a conversation. Yeah. People just got to go quickly do something and come back. And just come right on back. Man, speaking of sex, Guns and Rose's singer Axel Rose can be heard. having sex with Adriana Smith, the girlfriend of the band's drummer, Stephen Adler, on 1987's

Appetite for Destruction. Adler had just told Smith he didn't consider her his girlfriend, so she went to the studio to hang with the band's other members in hopes of making him jealous. That's when Axel Rose approached her with his idea to record them having sex for the track Rocket Queen, and Axel said, Adrian, I want to talk to you. Is he some British? I don't know. Now he is.

I want to talk me about something that's very serious and very special and important to me, and nobody else would do this. Smith said, and she replied, for the band? Sure, no problem. For the band and a bottle of Jack Daniels. Good fun. And so once microphones were laid on the floor of the vocal booth, the lights were dimmed, and Rosen Smith commenced having sex, the sounds of which were recorded and inserted into the track's audio. I like it that it's not just, oh, we banged some girlfriend. I like that it was the drumbers. very rock and roll. He's also from Indiana, so great accent. Yeah.

Oh, that's perfect. You know, that was perfect. You were giving me tingees of Indianapolis. Thank you. But I was getting country, you know,

I never want to be offensive with my accents. I love you face to you. I don't know if Axel has a Midwestern accent, but if he did, it would be like, Adriana.

Yeah, I talked to you about that. It's important. I got this idea, okay. Oh, I'm not going to fuck you in the vocal booth, okay? Not doing it. If he's coming at me like that, no thank you. Yeah, yeah.

I feel like he'd have to put on some kind of accent, but honestly, I'm going to throw it out there over on Jackie's Book Club on our Patreon oftentimes because it's all set, the Sookie Stackhouse books are all set in the South. But there's many, many different accents because they're all supernatural creatures. There's lots of like Cajun accents. And I overtly just try to do the worst accent of anything that I could do. just because I'm like, I'm not trying to offend anyone. I'm bad with access.

I am never trying to ever, I'm not trying to ever, hilarious, anything. Like, I'm just trying to do what the book is telling me to do, you know? But speaking, this goes back to an original topic. Everybody gave Madonna a lot of shit when she kind of started with her British accent. Right? Yes. Why does nobody care that Jillian Anderson just fully talks in a British accent?

Now, is that because she lives there? She is, this is very weird and complicated. and I don't totally understand it, but I've spent a lot of time thinking about it. Okay, okay, okay. She is like an American-British code switcher because she grew up in both places. She was born in Chicago,

but, like, moved to the UK as, like, I think an adolescent, and then just, like, picked it up and then lived there for so long that it became, like, I don't know. Okay. Because it is weird to me, But also it makes sense that if, you know, we all know people who've lived in America for a really long time who like adjust their accent to end up with a more American accent. And I don't think we would call them like fakers. But there is something about me that wants to call Jillian Anderson a faker because she was born on U.S. soil. But I think it just actually became part. And I also think she was trained in acting with both. And so like she goes like there's like a genuine connection to both cultures that she actually has. And I cannot explain why. it seems fine for Julian Anderson to do this. Okay.

Okay, we're allowing it. She's Jillian Anderson. I mean, she's also Jillian Anderson. Oh, I mean, she can do whatever. No, and I watched her in a full UK show. I forgot what it was called, but the one with Jamie Dornan is a serial killer. Oh, yeah, yeah. The fall.

The fall. And her accent's perfect. I mean, it's perfect. Sometimes when I see her in interviews, I'm always like, why are you talking in that accent? Like, but, yeah. She grew up. She was American. It is, she grew up in, it's, oh, it's so, yeah, I look this up every time.

She was born in Chicago. She studied acting in Chicago. Um, but like, in between then, she, like, spent a lot, like, I think she spent some of her youth in the UK. And I, you know, and so, yeah. So she, she, like, truly has, like, like, an identity of relation with them. I have a friend who's British who moved here at 16 and she still has a British accent. Right.

And so I just always think like your accent kind of develops a lot when you're like in your young Adolescence. Yeah. But not even little because little kids will be born in England and then move here and they'll lose it. Right. But like I think your adolescence or something is like when you start, that's when you lock it in. Also how your parents speak too. How your parents speak.

And you know, I've taught a million English language learners over the years. And right, it's like if kids learn another language in kindergarten or even really in my experience kind of like anytime in elementary school, they will end up not having an accent in either because they just pick up, they pick it up so well and can completely take it on without any like self-consciousness about how to try to emulate the accent they're hearing.

And then by middle school, kids who are learning another language are just like there's, it's just becomes harder, you know, as they get over. And so, so yeah, I'm, I'm rapidly rereading the Jillian Anderson biography. Yeah. No, and I didn't mean to derail the list.

We can get that. I know, this is what with the list. It's just think it's funny that sometimes we're like, like, there's also a real housewives of Beverly Hills. Derreet, who speaks in this like really kind of bizarre international accent. And like, she's like, well, I've just spent a lot of time around the world, darling. And it's like, okay, sure. And we gave Madonna shit and we're like, okay, babe, she's fine. You got it is.

She moved, her family moved to Puerto Rico when she was 15 months and then to London after that. And then they moved back to the States when she was 11. So basically consciousness to 11, she was rich. And then back here. I'll give her that. So that is kind of, like, that is the time that you're, like, fully immersed and doing both accents. I mean, obviously, it's English in both places. But you make you feel like there's still time for me to move my kids to, like, the UK and they can have accents.

Oh, what accents do you want the kids to have, though? Cockney. Yeah, I want them to be like, oh, mom, oh, mom. What the hell is this? Yeah, see, that would be a little Dickensian. Chimney sweet accents. Get a more Dickensian. Yeah, you totally got time.

Yeah, all right, that's great. At the rate, things are going. Gas, the way it's costing you. I mean, we got to get out of here, I guess. But, you know, they didn't get any Superman into the air. There was no Superman movie in the 1990s, but there was almost an epic one to be written by Kevin Smith, directed by Tim Burton and starring Nicholas Cage.

Also in the mix to be cast, Christopher Walken as the baddie Brainiac and Chris Rock as Jimmy Olson. So what happened? According to Smith, things got off to a bad start when Warner Brothers insisted on a number of strange requirements, like that Superman couldn't wear his usual suit or fly, and that he had to face off against a giant spider at the end. Eventually, Smith was replaced, the studio didn't love his take on a non-flying Superman, by Dan Gilroy, who evidently couldn't nail it either.

So it all went under. But I would have watched that, that's for damn sure, a Tim Burrower. Superman? Nicholas Cage Superman. That's wild. Dan Gilroy, husband of Renee Rousseau. Oh, really?

Really? Rousseau. His brother is also a screenwriter, director, I think, and I've been to his home one time. Oh, yeah? Because their kids went to my summer camp.

Oh, wow, that's fun. So they had, like, one of those summer camp, like, reunions where they show a slideshow, and I was like, I'll be going to a five-story townhouse on the Upper West Side. Oh, yeah.

Belong you to a rich Hollywood man. I don't know who he was at the time I found out later. Sorry, I just also got lost because I was like, wait, I just remembered that there was this movie, and I'm not going to see it, starring Nick Cage and F.K.A. Twigs that's called The Carpenter's Son, because I remember around the Christmas time, we were like, is Nick Cage playing Jesus Christ in a movie? I don't think he is playing Jesus. He's pleased Joseph in The Carpenter's Son. But it is a Nick Cage. Is it about Jesus? Is he playing Joseph?

Joseph he's playing? Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. The ultimate fuck. Oh, yeah. That Joseph. Oh, yeah, baby. That's the one. But I, you know, surprisingly, I never got around to watch in that one.

I know how it slipped through my fingers. The Jesus movies coming out lately are, we see the previews at all the kids' movies. When you go to the kids movies, there's all these Jesus-y movies. Like, they won't always, like, say it, but it would be like there was like this Hillary Swank movie about this guy who's, like, trying to go on the road. and he's got to bring his diabetic son on the road. You could just tell that there's like God in the movie. Is that what it's called? No, Greenland is a different one about a diabetic son

that they were trying to get. It's a whole other. I'm not getting into, I won't get into Greenland right now. No, but there's all these movies. Like, there was this one with Judy Greer and Pete Holmes that was like the best little Christmas pageant and it was like definitely about church and like,

I mean, it was a little bit more than just Christmas movies. This is what happens every time we talk about Mr. Fantasy and I love Mr. Fantasy so fucking much, but KJ. Appa, who played Archie and Riverdale, who plays Mr. Fantasy. Mr. Fantasy is his alter ego that makes fun music. And he created this weird character that we're kind of low-key obsessed with.

And now he's revisiting all the actors who he was in Riverdale with as Mr. Fantasy, and it's the perfect content. But he keeps pretending like he's not, like KJ. Appa is not Mr. Fantasy. even though he's going to visit all of the cast of Riverdale. And it is very funny. But the problem is what I keep forgetting over and over about Kijie Apa is that he is very religious.

And he does, he's about to star in a Jimmy Stewart biopic. Oh, yeah. Like this. I don't know. But it is made by a good old Christian company is all. I don't really want to check it out, but I feel like I have to. I think I have to. KJ.

Epic Christian Jimmy Stewart Biopic. Christian Jimmy Stewart Biopic. That's not a great career move. No, no, no, no, no. Nothing about it should be happening. But Mr. Fantasy, he had put out a, like, like he as KJ. Appa put out an album like three years ago that flopped. And now him as Mr. Fantasy, he was at the fucking Macy's Thanksgiving Day Day, right.

As Mr. Fantasy. As Mr. Fantasy. Wow. That's how you know. That's how you know you're getting bumped up. I will start, I will end the list with this last one just because. because this is nothing to do with the television show, but soon the next season of Interview

with the Vampire is coming out, and I'm so excited about it. But this information I did not know. Tom Cruise played LaSotte in the 1994 film adaptation of Anne Rice's Interview with a Vampire. Kara, was that too scary for you? Were you an interview with a vampire? No, I saw that one time when I was in eighth grade,

I was in community theater, and I became friends with, like, a cool 16-year-old, and she would, like, drive me around places with her and her boyfriend, and we all watched that together. Oh, my God. You had to pretend like you were fine with it. And I was just like, I'm just going to say, Aaron, chill, because I'm watching this cool movie with these older people, but I was probably pretty scared.

Yeah, I imagine. And MJ, have you seen the original interview with the vampire? I went down, because of your joke about it in our live show, I went down a whole interview with a vampire journey of starting with the movie and then going on to the AMC series. And they're both fantastic. I didn't even know. Oh, the series. I didn't know about the series. Oh, my God.

The series is so good. Very hot. It's, it is because like how everything in the movie was. was intimated. Gay. Like, of gay, gay intimations. The show ain't nothing

intimated, bag. How old is the series? It's still coming out. Oh, it's right now. It's right now. Well, it's not on, it's not coming out right the second, but the next season,

I believe in the third season is dropping soon. We're in the middle of it. And it's good. But originally, Tom Cruise played Lestat, and both Anne Rice and co-star Brad Pitt hated him. And neither wanted Cruz in the

Not Tom Cruise. I know. Surprise. In fact, Pitt only signed on to the project because he thought he'd be acting opposite Daniel Day Lewis as Lestad. Oh, they hated him, director Nell Jordan told the Independent. Anne Rice found it perplexing, as did Brad Pitt, actually. But Jordan stood by the casting of Cruz saying,

I've always thought he's a great actor. He also said Cruz's life as a megastar prepared him to play a vampire. Famous people don't want to go out into the unmediated space. They have to control who they meet and how they meet them. They have to control their image. It's almost like they live in a spectral kind of world. Oh, please. I think that that's a little.

I think that you're putting it on. I think we all know that Tom Cruise is a bit of a nightmare. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. He's certainly not protecting his face when he's like dancing around at a Scientology convention or whatever. Yeah, he's fine. But that's my list for you guys.

Thank you, Jackie. I think Neil Jordan wanted to make a movie with Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. And that's fine. Just say that, you know. Yes. Yeah. And that's okay. But also, man,

Daniel Day Lewis. I mean, that would have been cool. Fucking Azlostat. My God, please. That would be cool. And I would probably want to kiss him even more, to be honest, which is weird because I don't want to kiss Daniel Day Lewis now. But back then.

But I don't want to kiss Tom Cruise at all. I don't know if I've ever had, I never have. Maybe a top gun. Maybe a top gun. But outside of that, he's never been on my kiss list. But we were like, we were all, I feel like growing up as a girl in the 90s, we all, we were told that we should want to kiss him. We had to get, yeah.

Came in Mel Gibson. Yes, but also in my head, I felt like it always was put down to where you were either a Tom Cruz or a Johnny Depp in the 90s and I was always like a Johnny Depp. Oh, I was a Johnny Depp. You know, I want the misunderstood one. The weirder girls went for Jim. Yes. Well, Edward heads.

I also think I always just thought Tom Cruise was short. I mean, and he is. Correct. He is, I mean, not according to probably. Before I even knew all the truth, I was like, he's too short for me. Yeah. He even says he's a tall girl. He says he's 5.7, but we all know he's not 5.7.

No, he's a every blend. And there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe with his little lifts in. No, no, I love a short king. I'm saying when I'm 12 years old. Oh, no, when you're 12. I can't be taller than my boyfriend. Of course.

Because there's a very real possibility that me and Tom Cruise could be going to be together. No. It's like in the Leonardo versus Brad, I was always Brad. And in the Johnny versus Tom, I was definitely Johnny. Wow. What about, what about a? I mean, now I think they're all, I think they're all. bad.

Yeah, they're all great because I don't want to kiss any of them now. Not one of them. I feel like there was also

Edward Norton or Brad Pitt. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Yeah, in that I do like Edward Norton.

And MJ and I are both Edward Norton's. We're Edward Norton. Yeah. All the way. Yes, in the blind items, they always refer to

Tom Cruise as the pint size actor. And speaking of blinds are brutal. I think I'm going Blind. Item. Ah, we can't see them.

All right. Get ready, Kira. I'm ready. The momager knew what kind of facelifts she was getting, and then it would be temporary. It didn't cost $100,000. She needed it to be quick and couldn't be out of public view long enough for the $100,000 kind. Well, Chris Chenner, right? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I was just hearing recently that Chris Jenner, everybody wants to go to Chris Jenner's guy now. Yeah. And she has a password, and she has to give you the password if you want to go to the guy. Whoa. To know that you were sent by her. The post article is that Chris Jenner, mad as hell that $100,000 facelift is slipping. She desperately wants a revision.

So we were all, remember, we were all very impressed. She looked fantastic. It's slipping. It's slipping. Man. And by the way, 100,000, I was hearing that it was like 175 too. I also, that is. Once she came out and everybody was talking about this doctor, he made it 240.

Whoa. So I think it's like an extremely expensive. Oh my God. Do you remember, I don't know, the second you said slipping off her face, do you remember when Angelica Houston got that horrible like that like literally her face started like slipping into her neck because she had gotten such like rough. I didn't know Angelica Houston even ever had work done. Back in, this was like a while ago.

And I'm pretty sure. Like this is back old page seven. Do you remember that, MJ? I know, but I, I, no, I don't. I just need to read this quote. I feel I need to look that up, but also I need to read these quotes from the article. An insider said that Jenner feels that it is not held up the way she expected. The source also claimed that Jenner is, quote,

Matt has held that Denise Richards and Lori Loughlin both look so good. Bring me Lori Loflin's plastic surgeon. That's what it is. So it was in 2013. This is what she was looking like. She had a botched. She just like it. Then it started to.

and then she said because it got botched, it started like seeping down her face, like weighing her face down. Because it was like a botched Botox. I always thought she was like one of the ones that just kind of was aging naturally. She's so beautiful. I mean, it seems that it was just,

at least in 2013 of this article, she said it was botched Botox, which I don't think as someone that has gotten Botox multiple times, I don't think that is just Botox. But again, 2013, no one was going at that shit. No one really knew back then as much, I feel like.

I do remember now. Yeah, that was, it did look like she was melting a little bit. She looked like she was melting and it was scary. It was, but I think she's okay now. No, yeah, no, it's all back. She's all got it all lifted back up into place. Oh, good. It's all back up on there.

I'll shove it back up there. Okay, blind number two. This gym boss who takes the weekly shot singer can say what she wants, but she canceled her tour because no one was buying any tickets. Megan Trainor? Oh, yeah. Correct. Man.

Yeah, I just heard that she canceled her tour because it wasn't selling. And then now she has to sell one of her houses, her house. She has to sell one of her houses. She has to sell one of her houses. And she's blaming the tour cancellation on her third child, which, okay, I'm sorry. You know approximately when the baby's going to arrive. You definitely have that timeline in your head as you are booking the tour. So, like, what do you mean?

and this is more than I can take is what she said about touring when she just, and I know she used a surrogate, but still, you have a newborn to take care of. So she's like, oh, I can't do it. Yeah, what did you think was going to happen? Where were you when they were booking it? Also, it's like, there was a time where Gaga wasn't selling enough tickets. You know what I mean? Like, people have ebbs and blows.

There's only a certain amount of people that can actually be a huge pop draw. Like, I know she has, like, Megan Trainor has like five or six mega hits. I totally know that. But like, are people running to the, like, the, like, you know what I'm saying? And who are the trainer heads? What are they, you know? I actually feel like at this point, she almost has like a bigger social media following as like a mom and personality than she does even at. Because honestly, I listen to on because we, I'm going to say, made quite a few jokes about the new single that she released.

It was another, I'm just like, I'm asleep. I'm asleep. by my sleep and all I can ever think my it's not issue but I guess my issue with Megan trainer is the fact that she has to have the and I wonder if she's going to sell the house that has the two toilets facing each other because oh my god I remember that two toilets facing each other so the she and her husband can shit at the same time her husband they can look at each other from spy kids I ever you've you've talked about her husband in the shooting toilets so many times yeah that's so weird that's my never-for-fired

Like, I can't, like, I can't, like, I can't think about Megan Trader. Wasn't that an SNL sketch? Wasn't that an SNL sketch where they were, they were sort of, um, facing each other but next to each other so that you could actually be next to each other, like touching. Yes. And she, and this is, and like, she pitched it as like a, aren't we cute? Ew. No. I don't think you are. Have a little privacy. Yeah. And especially if your husband is the guy from a spy kids. Like, you know, that's my, that's my never forget. But. no one else seems to care about that, which is fine. I mean, Spike-Its is a good movie, though. You know?

I also think that Megan Trader's problem. You're right, Kara, that it's very hard to sell a stadium tour right now. J-Lo had to cancel her. I mean, Jay-Loh had a hard time. And nobody has a money. And, like, you know, to me, it's just like, I never think of Megan Traynor as, like, up there with, like, Gaga and Taylor and Beyonce. And, like, you know, not that you can't tour. but I don't know.

She built her audience on a certain kind of identity as a performer. And this is not to say anything about her using or not using the shot, but we, you know, it is now documented that she has changed the lyrics of her body positive songs to not be about being fat anymore or being, you know, having that bass or whatever. And so like I think that she also in a way like kind of betrayed her. Fan base, if you will. Yeah, because like people like love her because. She's not all about that fan base. She's not all about that face. You did rhyme, but wait, she changed the words?

Yes. I need to find that there was like, she's changed the words to instead of being like, I don't remember what the lines are at all about that base, but it's like about having something to grab onto or whatever. And she's like changed it to be like, you know. It's great when the hands just hit bone. So instead of, yeah, it's pretty clear, I ain't no size two. She changed it to, yeah, it's pretty clear.

I got some new boobs. is what she, that's what the line change was. It's just, it is still, like, it is even, like, I remember even Megan Trader back when all about that base, and as someone that has lived in a plus-sized body for most of my life, I remember being like, this bitch is thinking about being body posit. Like, look, and so even then I, which I know I should not have, but that's how I felt.

I was like, oh, I don't want this from her. Why do you think I loved living? Lizzo so much. I was like an actual person that looks like me that is singing four people like me. It's like, yeah, Megan Trainers like, I mean, I'm a size 12. Yes. Yes. Totally.

Totally. There was, aren't I so brave for being the size? Yes, there was that aspect of it as well. A beautiful person, you know, but it is, I feel bad that she had to cancel the huge, but I'm hoping that maybe some of these artists are taking from this where it's like, nobody has any money right now. World War III is happening. Like, people can't spend,

and then all of these monopolies are making all of the tickets cost so much money that maybe we do need to pull back a little bit and do smaller venues so that people can actually go see your shows. But there's no money in that. So, of course, they're not going to do that. Right, right.

Or it's a lot more work. You just got to do a lot more cities and more venues. Right. And, again, three kids. On top of it, I get that. She's busy. Yeah. Like, she's like, I'm sorry to my fans.

Yeah, I'm just. like, did you not, did you think it would be easy to go on tour with a new porn? But, you know, whatever. But also, she has this big social media following. It's like, just do some brand deals, girl. Yeah. Join mom talk. Right?

Join mom talk. You may as well, because, I mean, you know, we watched Jen Affleck go right. What was she three weeks postpartum when she was on dancing with the stars? She was like five or six, but that was real. That's so crazy. That's not what we should expect. Like that I don't want that. You know?

Exactly. Okay. our final blind. This permanent A-list acting legend is old. He barely goes out any longer. He was out on the town this past week and hired multiple escorts multiple times a day, even though all he was able to do was watch. Jack Nicholson. No. Damn. I was hoping that this, because like we haven't heard from Jack Nicholson minute. And I was like, are we, the next time we're going to hear about him, he's either going to be fucking some strange or he's going to be dead. And I, so I, that's like 90, right? Yeah, but he's still, all the blinds are still saying he's out there like with sex workers all the time.

And he's not a good guy. Chasing tail? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, this, this guy is the same generation. But as far as we know, we have no reason to think he's a bad guy, which is why I was happy.

I mean, this blind is a little bit mean. Say it again? Is it Bobby? The permanent alist acting legend, the permanent Aist acting legend is old. He barely goes out any longer. He was out on the town this past week and hired multiple escorts multiple times. today, even though all he was able to do was watch. He also has a baby at home.

It can't be Bobby. It's Robert De Niro. It is Robert De Niro. Oh, he does have a baby at home. He does have a little baby at home. He does. I want to see he have 10 kids now? Oh, yeah.

He, I believe, was that last year he sired another child? I can't remember it was last year the year before. But he and Al Pacino both knocked somebody up in the last year and a half. or at least they were told they did. Yeah, yeah, or third or fourth. I don't really know. Dang.

Yeah, my sister used to teach one of De Niro's kids like a long time ago when that kid's got to be 20. Oh, yeah. Yeah, one of his kids is 29, but I was reminded that I was like, I feel like I remember that Robert De Niro is a good father. And I remember there was a big story about one of his kids came out as trans. And Bobby was like, yeah, of course I still love them. Why wouldn't I?

Yeah, yeah. And it's like, good, Bobby. Good, good. Yeah. Good job. Great. All right. Go ahead. We were bracing ourselves for your response there. You never quite know with the old, with the old guard, you never quite know what they're going to say, you know? Yes, yes, exactly. And okay, just for fun, I know we have to get to Jackie Snackies, but real quick, just listen to this unhinged blind that I saved. It does. Yes. Just like back in 2020, actors from multiple countries were told what to say to get everyone to follow along.

This time, there are two permanent A-list actresses who will be promoting a new movie for the next. month or so, and their message has also been arranged. Get to the masses. Get the masses to submit to what is coming and that it's okay to submit. It isn't. Okay? So back in 2020, actors from multiple countries were told what to say to get everyone to follow along. Parentheses, COVID. This time, there are two permanent A-list actresses, Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman,

who will be promoting a new movie, Practical Magic, for the next month. And their message has been arranged. Get the masses to submit to what is coming. A.I. Yeah. I knew this was Sandra Bullock. And that it's okay to submit because, yes, she did say, like, AI is inevitable and we have to embrace it. Wrong, Sandra Bullock.

But, yes, I just thought the framing of this is, like, remember when we all... It's really creepy. Because Sandra Bullock never had social. And now she suddenly got on Instagram. And it's like, everybody do AI. That's really disappointing. Yes. And that...

It's profoundly disappointing. It makes all the sense. But I will say in the opposite breath. But were they like, we can't make this movie unless you promote this? I imagine. I don't know how. Her hands must be tied in some weird way. Nicole Kidman ain't doing it because Nicole Kidman right now,

everything that everybody's talking about her is that she's working to become a death dula because she was so traumatized and because of the help that she received from her mom passing last year. She's like having a full like. And I love Nicole Kidman. That feels like a practical magic tie-in also. It might be. Maybe it is. I hope it is. Oh, I hope it is.

Because especially I always wanted to be. I was just waiting to be the ants in practical magic. And now I am. I have to say something that's going to make you guys mad at me probably. But I saw practical magic for the first time in the pandemic. Whoa. Like we watched it in my friend's backyard. What did you think?

I did not like it. And I thought it was. Even soccer channing? I should have watched it when I was younger. I just didn't feel like watching it as an adult. I was like, this is the movie everyone's obsessed with. Like for some reason, it like didn't hold up for me or like it didn't. I was obsessed with it because I watched it when I was 12, I bet I would have been like this rock.

Yes, because you wanted to be them. And also for me, like I wanted to kiss them. I didn't understand that. Like I had all, like everything was wrapped up. And then also Dr. Kovach was in it from ER and I was obsessed with him from ER. and even though he's a badman in it. He's the bad man.

I knew he's so hot. Dr. Kovach is so hot. But I love soccer chin. I'm not mad at you though because here's the thing. I talked about this. During COVID, I watched like Star Wars, like the first Star Wars for the first time, like of the OG. And I was just like, I mean, I get the story. Like I'm not over here being like, it sucked.

It's just that I didn't watch it when I was a kid. And so I'm no. It doesn't have that magic over me. Right. I famously watched spaceballs before I watched Star Wars. Hell yes. So when I saw Star Wars, I was like, this is like unfunny space balls. Why are we watching this?

But I, yeah, I will see practical magic too. Yeah, for sure. I just like, I was expecting to love it because everyone fucking loves it. And I was just like the same for me. Not for you. And I will see again because I am no longer blind. Well, come back. But are you back to the world of the eating?

Yes, it's time for. Jackies, Snackies. I've been a snackie girl. Snacky. I've been a snackie girl. Snacky. I've been a snackie girl. Snacky.

I've been a snackie, snackie. Is somebody going to eat those chips? Is somebody going to dip those dips? Is somebody going to try those candies? I got seminar. They say I'm a snack lead. Misophoniacs? We bid you a do.

And our amazing April, always every week, always includes the timestamps for all. all our misophoniacs out there. Misophonics, how do you identify? I don't know. I try to eat away from the mic when I'm doing my Jackie Snacky. I mean, same, but still, people, it still picks up.

Now, this I was excited about because specifically, I was looking for all three of these for a while. And I happened to be able to find all three when I was at the five below getting the horrible candies. Five below unofficial sponsor of page seven today. I mean, they could. they want to, you come at me, bitch.

But what I was able to find were the three different kinds of M&Ms. Are you an M&M person? I like M&Ms a lot. I would say that my go-to at the airport is like the family size peanut butter. Peanut butter. Okay. Peanut butter. Yes, the peanut butter.

And I, in our home, we're big fans of every time we go to the movies, I always bring little packages of M&Ms. and I always mix the peanut and the peanut butter because I like every once in a while I get a crunch and then I get a creamy and then I get a crunch, then I get a creamy, you know what I mean? Do you put them into your popcorn?

I don't put them in the popcorn, but I sometimes put them in, like, in my mouth as I'm eating the popcorn. I just don't want them to fall to the bottom and then I don't have access to all of my M&Ms. Oh, yeah. Like, because, you know, that's a fatty's idea right there. That's how a fatty thinks.

You know Dynasty typewriter here in L.A.? Yes, yeah. Their whole thing is like popcorn and then they put candy inside it. And I love when I'm there because they always have peanut butter and they put them inside. Yes. I like it. One of these you might like more than the other three. Now, one of these I've already tried and I was obsessed with it.

But maybe because you're another Shirley Temple bitch with me, I'm a grenadine-ass bitch. But how do you feel about the cordials, the cherry cordials that are like covered in kind of goo that have chocolate on the outside? I believe they're called like Queen Mary's Cherry Coral. Like I've eaten a hundred million thousand of these because I love like because it's like the fake cherry and it's kind of gooshy on the inside. But this has. Currie Corchel was such an old person candy when I was a kid. I was like, I know. I know.

I know. And also because my dad always loved them and then we would end up eating them and he just wouldn't eat them because he worked all the time and we would just end up eating them. so I think that's why I like them so much. But this cherry chocolate cupcake, because I'm bringing in right now, the M&M's bakery collection. There's three different kinds. There's cherry chocolate cupcake that,

even though it says cherry chocolate cupcake, this is cherry cordial flavored. So if you want to try like a cherry cordial type, but it's without the goosh because it's an M&M. And I feel it has, I think it has a little bit of everything. Cherry chocolate cupcake, here I come. Yeah, why don't you hold that up for me so I can take a great pick for you.

Oh, yes, bitch. Thank you. Oh, okay. So they're all, they're, oh, wait, no, they're not. Just color-wise, color profile. They are black and red. So it's a mixture of, and there are different shades of red. There's dark red and like a lighter red.

That's how you know when you're making your mix inside of your little movie bags. So there's three different kinds. We're starting with the chocolate cherry cupcake. And then next up, we're going to go into. to lemon meringue pie. I also like it when, like, specifically, there is a mint chocolate M&M that is only done over the holidays

that has goosh in the middle. Of an M&M? Of an M&M? Like the tiniest bit of gush, and I love it. Because I'm a gush, baby. But how do you feel? This is good.

It's like a regular M&M with like a hint of cherry. And it's not too much. It's not too much. It's not too much. It's not too much even with like just like the fake cherry either. Yeah. But now next up, we've got lemon meringue pot. How do you feel about lemon goods, Kara?

I like lemon meringue pie a lot. Yes. I like lemon bars. Yes. Who are you Valerie Bertinelli? I don't like lemon desserts, but Valerie Bertonelli does. Oh, wait a minute. Why are these so small?

And these are smaller. This is a weird shape. The other, the cherry chocolate were the same size as like a peanut butter. And because they're a little bit bigger, this is like a weird because this is almost like a perfect sphere, which is more like, they're almost like the size of a regular plain chocolate Eminem, but with the swollenness of a peanut, but without the oval shape. Is it the shape of a lemonhead?

Do you remember the lemon heads candy? Oh, it might be. Oh, like a self-aware lemon, self-aware Eminem. I'm going to try these ones because I haven't tried these ones yet. It has like a crackery thing inside, huh? or like, like, graham cracker. Yeah. Yep, there's a graham cracker in it.

This is fine. It's very lemony. It has, it's very lemony, but I think that it gives a good, where it's not just, oh, that's just a lemon. There's no chocolate either. There's no chocolate. But I like that you can get the, like, gram cracker crust with it. And it does have a good brightness to the lemon because sometimes with lemon stuff, I feel like it's too lemony and then I don't want to eat a whole bag of it, which is probably for the best. That's not what I'm looking for.

I actually really like that now that it's kind of settling it. Right? I like the lemon meringue. That one is really good now. Although I kind of wanted it to have a little bit of chocolate in it. Just a little bit. A little splash. This one will have some chocolate in it.

Lemon and chocolate don't go together, Kara. I do think Jared is like that. He does not like mint and chocolate together. Man, we used to, oh, at the blue stove that I used to work out, we had a black bottom lemon pie. and it was a lemon meringue, it was almost like a lemon cream pie on top with whip on top,

but then on the bottom, it was a sea of dark chocolate so that when you took the bite into, oh my God, that black bottom lemon pie was so fucking good. Anyway, last but at least, this one I have also tried and I really like,

but how do you feel about, are you a cinnamon person? Yeah, big red, baby. Peanut butter, cinnamon, is the final. I never said I was into combining peanut butter and cinnamon. But then that's why I wanted to find out this bakery collection has great taste. Would throw it out there that if you like a cherry cordial, if you like a lemon meringue pie.

And if you like peanut butter M&Ms and you also dig cinnamon. Okay. I will also say I forgot to do the color palette of the lemon marangs are obviously like white. and yellow and, you know, lemony colors. Yes. The color palette of this is various shades of poop color. It's like light brown, a yellowy brown, and a dark brown. You mean cinnamon rolls.

I don't think that they're poop rolls, Tara. All right, here we go. Get into that. What breastfed babies poops looks like versus formula baby poops? Yes, exactly. Are they really different? Yes, breastfed. Oh, yeah.

Regular? Yeah. Different baby poops. Let's see baby poops. Thank you. What are we thinking of these? I see, because I do love a peanut. Have you tried all these already?

I tried the, I got the peanut butter cinnamon roll, and I didn't get the lemon, I had only tried the lemon meringue, or I hadn't tried the lemon meringue. So that's why I was out there. I kept trying to find all three, but I kept eating the cherry cordial ones and the peanut butter cinnamon once before I could recommend. So I had to make sure they were all closed. It was like, keep them away from me. I think my thing is This is giving me peanut butter Eminem With then just like a little aftertaste tinge of cinnamon

That I don't need See because I just love peanut butter M&Ms And I think the reason why I like it Because I like cinnamon But I don't like a lot of cinnamon And I feel like as someone that again Worked at a bakery for a very long time It's very easy to add too much cinnamon

To a dessert that I feel it's overwhelming I like that the cinnamon doesn't overwhelm the peanut butter. I still like that it's peanut butter forward. You are right. It is unnecessary. You don't need it. It's peanut butter forward. Notes of cinnamon, peanut butter forward. This is what we're here to talk about on Jackie Snackies because we're here to find out maybe you hear that and you're like, that's my jams. Then pick up some of these peanut butter cinnamon roll M&Ms. I like, I'm such a bitch for the Oreo flavors. I'm a bitch for M&M flavors. I think honestly the cherry is my favorite. The cherry cupcake.

Really? Yeah. Even though it's given, like, doesn't it kind of give cherry cordial though? Yeah. And like, I love Cherry Coke. Yes. When I go to the movies, I get a Cherry Coke. Yes. Cherry Coke is so good.

Wait, can I see, can I see something? Kara said Big Red. And when I hear the words Big Red, I have to sing the entire theme song. And I want to see if I can do it. Can I do it with you? We can try. I feel like my internet's been bad and run a bit of a delay. But let's try.

I want to hear it. Both of you do it. And a five, six, seven, eight. That big red freshness lasts right through it. Your fresh breath goes on and on. While you chew it, say goodbye a little longer. Make it last a little longer.

Give your breath long lasting freshness. With big red. Thank you. Wow. I love it. I love it. You know, like I feel like there's, I have so many commercials in my brain

and I can't like that was in there forever. As you were singing it, it was all starting. It was all going back. It's all coming back to me, babies. It's the part where they go, well, you chew it. It's like a power band. It's driving. It's like the Mentos theme song. And it would be like, it would just be people making out with big red in their mouths.

I mean, say goodbye a little longer. Especially, man, you just unlocked a memory in my head. the the bitches that chewed cinnamon gum in high school were the cool sluts. Really? Yeah. And like I always wanted to be a cool slut. I was not a slut, but I mean, I literally was not a slut in high school. I was like so prude.

But I chewed that shit. And I would chew cinnamon gum sometimes so long. My tongue would like go numb. I'd be like I got to lay off the cinnamon gum. Whoa. I got into like the cinnamon toothpicks for a while. But I think that was because like that was back when. I was smoking cigarettes and I was just like, yeah, so I'm cool in class because I had the cinnamon

toothpick. Anyway, sorry, I'm so glad that you guys remembered the big red theme song, but MJ's Manchis. Woo. No, I see it and I wanted to ask. Down to the Vegas, what I'm fine. Try something new. It might blow my mind. Hello, spicy.

Hello crunch. It's, MJ's. My mama, Mama. Manny Munch. Hello, Dill. You're my wild thrill. It's just ma-ma-ma-ma-ma. Mitty munch.

Mitty munch. Minut munch. All right. So today. You always have something like this, M.J. At least when I'm here. It's always some spicy version of a chip. It's a weird spicy chip.

And today's edition is the Doritos version of a tachie, which I'm not sure if we're calling it dynamita or dinamita. It's got to be dinamita, right? I think it's dinamita. Dinamita. And it is spicy, cool ranch. So it is a Dorito flavor, but it's spicy and it is made by Doritos and it is in the flavor. Oh, Dorito flavor.

It's a Dorito flavor in the shape of Ataki. And crucially, there is a dinameter at the bottom that chose the spice level. Oh, my God. And the dinameter reads on the high end. Or is it a dynamometer? Is it dynamite? Like, is it a dino mita? Dino mita.

I don't know. A more fun way to say it. Dino, okay, the dino mita Thank you. It's at the high end of medium, so I'm not expecting a lot of spice. The high end of medium. Okay. Doritos,

Doritos know that tachis have the market, the youth market cornered. And they're desperate for it. And they're desperate for it. Yes. So they're trying to join the taki game. They really think, I feel like it's like up there with like a bugle where it's like, bugle, you ain't a talkie. All right, hon, take a seat.

Not my white-ass kids. No, no, they're not into the to tachies at all. They can't handle any spice. Oh my God, remember the time when Oscar actually accidentally ate off my plate off something spicy? And he was like, ha, ha, ha, smile. And I just kept people like, I'm so sorry, Kara, I'm so sorry. And you were like, fine.

He's the one that ate it off your plate. And I just loved that that was your reaction. He is a wacko. He thanked you for that. Because I was like, oh, my God, Kara is never going to hang out with me again. What are we getting? These are so good, you guys. These are so good.

So it's like a little bit spicier than a cool ranch Dorito. It is like a spite. It's like a cool ranch Dorito with like a more like a jalapeno, like kick. And it's crunchy like a taki. This is one of my favorite spicy chips I've had the whole time. Yo, that is so good to know. But it does have, you say it does have the cool ranch in there? It's very cool ranch, but it is spicy.

If this is, if this is medium on the on the dinamita, I'm curious about what is extra hot because medium is the lowest. So, I can't believe that there are going to be, there's multiple packages of Dina Mita and you have to find like your spice level. I have another one in my home right now.

The type that I'm going to eat next week. And it has a different level on the, on the Dina meter? Yeah, well, let me check right now. I think it's a three Russia. I'm like, that's crazy. That feels like, man.

And it is crazy sometimes that like certain things that you find that are so much spicier than it's like, isn't this made for? the every person? I'm wrong. The ones I have are Surrida, they're Doritos, Golden Sri Racha.

I'm going to try them next week, but there's no Dina Mita on them because they're not Dina Mitas. They're not Dina Mitas. Oh, boo. Yeah, no, no, Dina Mita. Maybe we're just going to start adding our own Dina Mita to things.

I just like the idea of MJ hitting all these different bodegas in New York and going, do you don't have any Dina Mitas that are higher on the Dina Mita? I need it to go into the red. Yeah, now I got to be on a quest to find the Dina Mita

that's, in the red because this is spicy but like in a delicious way. It's like not too. It's not going to burn yet. I've been really, I keep losing my mind every once in a while. You know how I feel about Jack in the Box, unfortunately. And Jack in the Box has been having these like, they either

have Nashville hot mozzarella sticks or recently they started doing these sweet Reaper mozzarella sticks. And they have just like a good spice on them and such a good taste to them that I'm just like, get these fucking, I am, oh my God, you say mozzarella stick to me. And I say, how many can I put in my mouth?

I'll eat any fucking mozzarella stick. Anyway, thank you so much, MJ. Welcome back from your minute of munchy that you had. And I love this spice. I'm eating too many of these. No, you are not. You're cutting them away for me. And this is great because honestly,

these are the normal regular, like size M&Ms. And they started saying on the side that their share size, honey, this ain't a share size. what are you talking about? This is a normal regular person's amount of M&Ms. That is not a share size. I don't. It says two servings.

Fuck you. I don't know how many ounces, let's say. No, are you kidding me? 2.47 ounces. Yeah, 3.2. Fuck you, share size. Anyway, thank you so much, Kara, for coming on this episode of page 7. Kara, where can we find, Jim?

You can find me at Kara Klank on all my social media. I mean, Instagram essentially. And all your social media. That is all your social media. That's messed up new episodes every Tuesday. And Who's the Bitch with my darling Jackie? That's me. New episodes every Wednesday.

Yes. And we have been men. And we have a bitcherth on June 11th. Yes, June 11th. Call in live. You have to call in live. We want to be hearing from you. And also you can send in all your submissions.

If you don't want to be live, you can go to who's the bitch.com and get in all the information you want. at us in multiple different ways. Thank you so much, Kara, for hanging out with us today. Always a pleasure. Always a delight. And we know we're going to have you one more time before you leave us for the summer. Yes, bitch. My name is Jackie Zabrowski.

You can follow me on Instagram and Check That Worm. Coming out in our Discord channel, I'm going to start popping stuff over there for people to start polling on because I want to hear from you. I want to hear what you want in your cryptid fuck game. it's all of our cryptid This is a cryptid fuck game for the people. For the people. Not one of those corporate cryptic

cryptic fucking games. No, no, no, no, no. This is, it is for us, the people. So come on by, come hang out with us because we're going to be getting some pictures of what our chute baby looks like soon. And I haven't seen what they're doing with them yet. All I know is that we are definitely,

I'm going to say I'm throwing them more in a spike kind of way and maybe it has something to do with how much I'm just in love with Buffy right now. And if you want more Buffy, go on over to the Patreon, patreon. Patreon.com slash page seven podcast because we've got Buffy's for you. And now we're end in season six and this is huge for us. I, anyone that will get close to me long enough will hear me talking about Buffy's. So if you feel that way too, come hang out with us over on the Patreon. And anyone who hears me long enough will hear me talk.

about Desperate Housewives, which is also over on the Patreon and of course Jackie's Book Club. And of course, we love your emails, Page 7 Podcast at gmail.com. Thank you for all of you who write in. We love hearing from you. And Kara, we love you so much. Thank you for coming back and come back again soon. Thank you. I love you guys.

Bye. Bye. See you tomorrow. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, Go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.