Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Ch. 110: I'm Fugin' Right Now

Episode Date: May 27, 2022

"I don't know anything about any of this stuff" - Jackie Zebrowski Support us on our Patreon page and get weekly bonus Patreon-exclusive content! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Intro song by Green Dreams Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Have you been dying to see us live? Then get psyched about the last podcast network, Country Jamboree, at the Rhyman Auditorium in Nashville, Tennessee on June 18th. Jackie, we're not at the Country Bear Jamboree, but I am grinning like a possum, eating a sweet tater. Because we'll have all your favorite LPN family out and performing live, including last podcasts on the left, page seven,

Wizard and the Bruiser, No Dogs in Space, Brider Side, fraudsters, someplace underneath, the story must be told, and more. Tickets available now. Again, that's the Rhyman Auditorium on June 18th in Nashville, Tennessee. The last podcast network, Country Jamboree! Here's the thing, MJ, he's forged now. So I bet, if you ever forget the fact that Archie is forged now, you just give him a slap and everyone goes, because he's forged now and get ready y'all to-choo here comes a ghost train here to amass some souls

this show I'm sorry hi MJ how are you doing now I'm feeling a little bit of this episode of Riverdale I'm feeling a little panic I'm also having a roller coaster of feelings about this one this poor Gideon has not watched Riverdale in a long time watch this episode

What happened was usually I like do it early but my kids are sick right now and I was like I'm not going to have time to do it early. But I had also, I had like forgotten that. I was like maybe I'll just wake up before the kids and watch it then. And then last night we were like, we like made dinner. We were like sitting down excited to watch Our Flagmeans death. And then I accidentally clicked on the CW app. And I was like, no, not the CW app. And then I was like, wait, if we watch Riverdale now, it will make my whole day tomorrow easier.

Kiddean, can we watch Riverdale now? And he was like, oh, no. And so I had to spend this entire episode catching him up, which if you've ever tried to catch anyone up on Riverdale, it's really fun. It's like telling them about a dream you had five years ago. It really. It's trying to catch someone up. Makes no sense. Like, okay, okay.

So he's building a train, but it's a train not train. And that's where we're at now. it's a train, not a train. Archie's been forged in fire. Whoever this Drake lady is, at least there was some potential hot Lily Reinhart on Drake action. I think that sustained us all through this episode.

Everyone's about to hear on page seven, because we're going to report page seven right after this, about how I just watched Top Gun for the first time. And watching it before this, all, every episode was like, kiss. Yes, that was on yesterday. Make them kiss. Why aren't they kissing? Jessica Drake, I don't trust her for a goddamn second.

I can't tell if she's going to betray Betty or if she's going to kiss her or both. I think it's going to be a little bit of both. Is it Jillian Drake? I don't know. Jessica Drake? I don't know. She's just Drake to me. It is the agent that is underneath Betty.

Oh, I wish literally. Where did she come from? Have we met this bitch before? She has been nameless and almost faceless this entire season. But in the CIA office that Betty has, she has been working with her in this office very randomly in scenes. I was wondering if this very attractive woman off to the side was ever going to be brought in. And so she's like, Agent Drake, because now Agent Drake knows everything. Like, is like, Betty is confessing to her.

everything about the serial killer gene, about the, oh my God, they're doing all this. They really lost me with the science of this episode of Riverdale. I will say that because what Betty's going on, what's going on with Betty in this episode is that, so remember last week, she found out that her father was grooming her. And then she's worried that Alice is grooming, because Alice, who has the serial killer gene, is grooming the twins who are back. The twins came back. We haven't seen them in, I mean, at least since, last time I remember seeing them was the episode with pin cushion.

You know, do you remember the pin cushion game where they had to put all the knives in that guy? They put the knives in that guy. They put the knives in the guy and then they killed them all up. And yes, the children. I forgot they do have the serial killer genes, but they don't. Only the little girl has the, only Juniper has the serial killer gene. and Dagwood doesn't have the serial killer gene, but pray tell, MJ, why did Betty see the mean guy aura

around the young boy and not the young girl because they were trying to figure out? Okay, guys, stick with us. This is like an organic chemistry test. Honestly, I was like last night, I said like very earnestly and sincerely to Gideon, like, I'm having a hard time following the science experiment going on right now. And he was like, it's because it doesn't make any sense. You can't like,

like, what are they controlling for? So she sees the aura around a Dagwood, but she does a genetic test on both of them and only juniper has the gene. And so then they're like, okay, it's time to go find, you have to go look at all these other people. You've seen oras around and genetically test them to see maybe you have a blind spot so that if somebody has a serial killer gene, you don't see their aura. It is getting really complicated. Especially with Betty's threat vision or whatever we call it. Which is, by the way, a stupid superpower.

And I don't think we've said that before. But Gidea was like, what are all their superpowers? And I went through. And I was like, Betty can tell if someone's dangerous. And I was like, yeah, that's just kind of like an intuitive thing that a lot of people have. That's the thing. And I also, which I'm realizing, I'm like, but she saw Uncle Daddy.

So in this episode, she sees the aura around Uncle Daddy. And I was like, why didn't she see the aura around Uncle Daddy the day before when she also saw him? And I guess if we're going to break down the properties of threat vision. And also, I need everyone to know, this is plot C of this episode. This isn't even plot A. I'm mad that we're even talking about it, honestly, but we have to. We have to because Jillian Drake is here now. Yes, because of hot Julian Drake.

So they were trying to determine whether or not, if you have the serial killer gene, if that's what she could tell with her threat vision. But that was easily disproved. But I think that she sees threat vision right as the malintent is already formed in their mind of what they are about to do. Ah, yeah. Okay. So that's interesting, I guess.

Yes, because she took butterscotch, aka caramel 0.2, away from Dagwood and Juniper, because Dagwood had the aura and she was worried that he was going to smash the cat's face in? But then she took the cat and put the cat into a shelter. Mitch, just give the cat to anyone else you know for like a day while you figure out whether that seven-year-old child is actually going to kill him or not. Instead of giving the cat to a shelter, what's wrong with you? I know.

Oh, my God. And all in the service, by the way, you should know that if you're not watching these episodes, when you picture Julian Drake, picture like a kind of like, kind of like, kind of like, like, you know, like a Zoe de Chanel type with like, you know, brat, like the bangs and everything. And then, but, but also she's delivering like a lot of like faux hyper scientific monologues. So like, Betty was like, can I confess something to you about my auras? And she's like, well, people do give out energy in the form of waves. And you must just be hyper astute to those waves.

It's like they are trying so hard. And I'm like, Riverdale, I don't want the scientific explanation. Don't spend time on it. No, it's fake. Like, what are you talking about? And it's just, especially with her, all they heard goes, wah, wah, wah, wah, and I'm like, are you going to kiss her or are you going to turn against her? Exactly.

That's all I can think about. And we get it. It's like a Mulder and Scully situation, except it's not because you're both the Mulders. Yes. And it's, everyone just wants you to kiss. And there's a lot of kissing. One thing I will give to this episode, I don't think I like this episode as much as I like the last week's episode, but I will say that there is,

a satisfying amount of kissing ambiguity because we like, you know, obviously Archie and Veronica kissed last week but it was just like a fun, funsies, not sexy kiss, but was it only or not? Obviously, Jughead's been having a big boner

for Betty lately in his memories but not doing anything about that. And now we have Betty having a lot of sexual tension with Drake. And also in this episode, there was a lot of sexual attention, well, at least there was some sexual tension

which we just. Jughead and Veronica. So we are hoping that we are building towards the foursome we've been waiting for for six years. Please, please. And you know what? If Heather and Cheryl end up in the mix, I am fine with it. Yes, Heather and Cheryl are the hot witch librarians is a satisfying development. I give that plotline an A-plus.

I still, though, don't quite understand what was going on. again, sometimes we watch, I'm including you in this, MJ, sometimes we watch Riverdale because we literally have to, and last night was one of those when I was just like, I have to just put it in my skull so that I can talk about it tomorrow. So I don't, I was kind of, Riverdale, again, you're right, you said this last week. It's one of those when you're looking down at your phone, you look up and you're like, wait, what is happening? And that is what happened to be a couple of times with this episode. Heather, I can't get past the wig. I know. Why? It's very distracting.

I don't know. It's so strange because I get it. She's supposed to be like a hot librarian. Great, great job with the glasses like wardrobe department. But what is going on with the way? It must be a, there must be some reveal being set to be.

I keep being like, is she not Heather? You know, like, or is it just a terrible wig? It has to, there has to be a reason of why it is such a, I can't look away from, like between that and also,

I can't stop staring at her mouth for some reason. There's just something in how deliberately in which she speaks that I can't look away from her mouth in the wig. And so she's another one that I'm like, wah-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-and. I'm like, okay, witchy, witchy, are they going to start kissing? Are they going to be kissing soon? Yes. It's just like, yes, her and Drake both are just like, okay, I get it. You're kind of hot in a, like, non-memorable way.

And I want you to kiss each other. I want you to kiss, you know, great. But, like, you are so. There are, every new character that they bring into Riverdale, you know, last night was the first time I felt even a stirring for Percival. But I just keep being like, if you're going to bring in these new characters, you better make them as hot as, you know, the Hiram Lodge. An F.P. I know I'm a broken record on this. I say it every week.

But like, I just feel like Heather is like kind of hot, but like in a weird way. Drake pretty hot. I think she definitely is hot if they could just like take the wig off. I don't know why they did her dirty like this. There's just something weird going on. And there's something we're going on with Percival is like a, he's not a Monet, but he's like a 10, one in 10 Monet. Like sometimes if you look at him just right, you're like, oh, okay.

Yes. But that's it. I get it. Was it the plaid suit? Because I kind of was feeling it. I was kind of feeling it. I definitely got the bandy outfits. You know, I like a dandy.

I completely. understand in that. And I'm like, because Sames was like, hmm, do I have a genital stirring over here? And it was immediately beaten back into submission. Don't you worry.

Although again, but what was going on with Drag Agen, Veronica, I was weirdly turned on it, but we're not there yet. Because before we even talk about what happens with Cheryl and Heather, number one,

Cheryl, remember the book episode when they decided that they're getting rid of the library. Now, Cheryl wants to turn Thornhill into Riverdale's privately owned library. I love all the private privatization rhetoric in Riverdale. I love it. Riverdale's and she says, she's like Riverdale's very first private library. I'm like, I don't, okay. Like I get that there is no

city infrastructure here, but like, you know, can you just, can't you just make your home a library? Maybe you can. I guess so. Well, they certainly couldn't make Pops a historical landmark because they got denied. And this all does have to do with each other because Heather does finally tell Cheryl, even though we all knew this, that she is a witch from Greendale. And so obviously is a part of the coven that happens in Greendale over on Sabrina. Right. So Cheryl's like, I think I'm also a witch. Can you like sexy teach me how to be a witch? And Heather's like, fuck yeah, I will. And they didn't kiss, but they should have kissed. That scene was satisfying. It was very like, they were doing their whole like, I bind you, Heather, from doing hot.

I haven't seen enough witch movies to not only exclusively think of the craft, but, you know, it was very satisfying and, like, you guys are hot witches. This is what we've always wanted. Thank you, you know. Yes, and I'm here for it. Now, they will be brought in because now this is another plot. So this is the A plot that I actually was truly confused by. So you guys remember how Percival came in and was like, I'm going to bulldoze.

pops because I'm going to make a train and the train's going to bring a bunch of jobs to the town. Yes. But they keep bringing up. Now, Jeff kept yelling about the, what is it? The something location, like the, like that he owns it. Like, I forget what the phrase is that, like, he owns it, but he doesn't own it. Like, he owns the land, but he wants the diner.

Like, it's like some sort of rights. They said it multiple times in there. And now I can feel Jeff being like, this is what it's called. And I can't think of it. But essentially. Eminent domain? Eminent domain. And I don't know what it means.

And Jeff apparently knew a lot about eminent domain and what the rights of eminent. I was like, okay, essentially what they were doing would not make sense, which is take apart. Pops. They're like, okay, you own the land, be don't own Pops. and you can't bulldoze our, like, meeting space. So what, and Archie comes in, he's like, I've got a construction crew that I don't have to pay barely anything to. Although, also, Archie is suddenly really pro-union, which is, which...

Very pro-union. I love a woke Riverdale, yes, union-is. And he is against Percival, who is trying to do non-union jobs, so they really bring this in with us. So they were going to pull apart pops. This is Tabith's idea. Brick by brick and put it away in storage until she could buy a new plot of land and then rebuild the exact pops on a different plot of land. Now, every time Archie and his crew would come through and start breaking it down overnight, magically, everything would be put back into the diner the way that it had been.

This is actually making more sense as I say it aloud because while I watch it. I was like, what are you talking about? And I was like, what is Percival also can like move shit? Like with his mind? Like, can he also do that that we didn't know about? Right, because he kind of claimed credit for it. He was like, oh, it looks like you can't, you know, do your plan. But was it Percival or was it the truly scary ghosts who have apparently been living in

Pops this whole time? It was the ghosts of the people that died in Pops. Never before mentioned That didn't want it to Okay guys Also more people have died in pops than that Like haven't we seen the people we know died in pops? Or maybe they were just shot?

I guess right. Fred Andrews was shot in pops right? He should haunt pops. Oh God, wouldn't that be great? If he were like if he were literally still alive Yeah. We were like actually still alive I bet that they would do something like that.

Yeah. So it's the four ghosts that they just show up in like how does tabitha know that it's the ghost because overnight she sees that it's been put back in and all ghost lights are on inside and she's seeing a dead waitress give coffee to patrons and they all were genuinely scary but it was spooky what the fuck happened to them in there how did they die in there there was no explanation of why this waitress it has like is like half burned like what happened we're gonna you're gonna give us four to five ghosts with no backsts story and I will hand it to him. It was spooky. Like, nothing, nothing more spooky to me than, like, a really quick shot to, like, a lit up. There was, like, a fast, quick shot to, like, a fully lit up diner. And then when she walked in, it was, like, dark and empty. Ooh, yeah, I like, you know, so good job, Riverdale. I like ghosts. Do ghosts in which at the same time, sure. But tell us, give us the backstory of the ghosts so that I care about the ghosts. Yes. And also, I will

say, I was excited that it wasn't like, personal can also do this. Like, I'm glad that there was a different reason that wasn't Percival. I was like, thank God. Because I feel like he's just like, oh, he's like the termites underneath a building, just eating it slowly from the inside out where I'm like, okay, just tent it already. Oh, good termite analogy, Jackie. Thank you, thank you. So it's the, so they talk to the ghosts.

And they're like, hey, ghosts, why won't, like, we have to do this because, Percival is going to bulldoze Pops, and they're like, you can't bulldoze Pops because they have to, as ghosts, to be able to pass on, they have to witness the grand fight between angels and demons that is going to happen at Pops. But I just am surprised a little bit how much the building comes into play because the Pops is also like the tether and the way for Tabitha to move through time. And it's also the place where the great war between good and evil has to take place. But then also, why do the ghosts have to see the war to be able to pass on? that doesn't go along with regular ghost rhetoric. I will tell you that. What about their unfinished business?

I've seen the movie Heart and Souls, and I know that that's not how it's supposed to work. It is tough because you want to root for the ghost plot line, but it makes no, it makes zero sense. They don't have any unfinished business. They died in Pops. Pops is the site of the future war between heaven and earth. and therefore they can't leave pops,

so they have to sabotage the effort to save pops. And then when Tabith is like, no, no, no, I'm trying to save pops. They're like, okay, that's fine as long as you rebuild it as fast as you can. No time frame. No. It should have been like, you've got 24 hours. She's just like, oh, okay, I can't put it into deep storage. I just have to try to rebuild it quickly.

And they're like, yes, at only the. will we not sabotage? And she's like, okay, we'll put it at the El Royale. It makes no sense. Pops is inside of the El Royale, yes, the El Royale that was also a fire department, that was also an orphanage, that was also a boxing ring establishment. It is not anymore. It is now Pob Steiner.

They got all the electricity hooked up. They got it all done within. one day. I don't know why it made me so. I was like, of course they're putting it in the El Royale. Move out all the orphan boys that live under the boxing ring. You got to get out of here because we got to put pops in here. I mean, I honestly was surprised the El Royale was even still functioning because Archie is like both a high school teacher and like a full-time construction crew. Yes, Foreman. Yeah. Stu Foreman. Yes. Thank you. I was like, Stuart, what do we call them? Yes.

So he's got a lot going on. And but, you know, he's like, yeah, sure. Take over my boxing ring. Turn it into like the ghost of pops diner. And the ghosts are like, yeah, sure, we're all good now. Yes. And I don't. And I guess that's fine.

And in all of this, now there was the union fight. I'm sorry, I also just remembered that. So apparently the waitress, the half-burned waitress, her name, she had a name. Gilda. Her name is Gilda, and I did not know that. And I'm looking at Gilda. They did not say the name Gilda. We would have remembered the name Gilda. Hello. I am trying to look up into the, so they said that they have to bear witness, right? And that if they are not there to bear witness, there cannot be a final battle. So if there's no final battle, I guess evil definitely wins. And they're trying to defeat. The Eldritch Evil, which is apparently an actual thing. It's a trope. Okay. Okay.

So we need like some mythology. We need witch experts. We need ghost experts. And we need like mythology experts. We also need Bible experts. Eldritch. Okay. So there's Eldrish locations.

Locations take many forms. They are usually dark and settling places with the law. laws of physics, geography, and others never seem to function properly. So they were referring to Pops as an Eldritch location. If it even exists in the same dimension as the insignificant little blue planet Earth, chances are it is either outside the world entirely and often accessible only by some kind of gateway, like a portal, or located in a strange, unknown corner of the Earth like Riverdale. I am looking at the evil wiki right now, by the way.

Just a wiki about evil things. I feel like I should have probably read into this before him. But if you know more about Eldritch evil, please send it in to page 7 podcast at gmail.com because this is a lot to do with the power that Percival has. Right. And Jeff was squawking at me about it. I wasn't listening.

I just straight wasn't listening to him. It's... Riverdale is under the like sorely mistaken assumption that we want like 18 episodes before we get the payoff. Yes. And we don't. We need to understand what's going on now. We don't want to spend a whole season four only to find out about the Oregon harvesting, you know, at the very, like we need. They're playing too much.

The chess is two, three dimensional. It is. Make it make sense for us, Riverdale. like hold our hands. Tell us, I don't want to find out in the season finale what the fuck was up with Percival this whole time. I want to know now. I still don't know what's up with him.

I still don't know whether he's a fucking ghost or a demon or why. You know, I just don't know. No idea. And like while we're also dealing with Betty and like the real life horrors of, you know, serial killer genes and what's going on over there of like actual murderers. And I think that Percival is like he's got to be some sort of demon that is sparking this off. But again, yeah, we don't know enough about it. Yeah, and that's a good point because we're spending all this time over here with like Hal Cooper again and like the trashbag killer and like real serial killers.

Is there any connection between Betty's plotline, the serial killers and like the ghosts and demons? There has to be. Now, I just remembered, sorry, I'm backtrack. Okay. Backtrack, backtrack. To Jillian Drake. Thank you. Jillian Drake, the agent.

Smoochy, smoochy. because I did want to remember to say this. She brought up the fact that, like, Betty was like, I'm so glad that you came to work on TBK with me. And she was like, yeah. When, like, I, like, and you brought your expertise of TBK to come to help me catch him. I feel like Jillian Drake has something to do with TBK. And I think at some point, Betty's going to see the aura around her and realize that she has something to do with.

TBK, like whether she's like getting in to be able to like know everything about Betty and then like kind of corner her off and get her back into the like with TBK. I know that she can't be TBK because it's like I've of course stared at the body of TBK during the scene where she was cutting up the body to be like, whose body does it remind me of? But Lord knows, I don't think that Riverdale is probably not even the same body of whomever it's going to end up being at the end of this. We remember that with Gargoyle King where I tried to look at how like How big is the person?

It's like no, it didn't matter. No, it didn't matter. Also, there was like two Cargoal Kings. One was fake Gargoyle King. How are they going to get us out of this? I don't know. They're in way over their head. I don't know what they're going to do.

Yeah. It's like last week's episode it was like, okay, maybe they're going to do it. Maybe they're going to do it. And then this week's episode is just like, you are out over your skis, Riverdale. You have no fucking idea what's going This episode had so much happening because while, like, when they're moving the diner, trying to move the diner, there's also the union war between Archie and Percival.

Because what ends up happening is that my brain can barely wrap around it. Percival comes with bad daddy, uncle daddy. and Uncle Daddy is going to be the foreman of the crew that is working for Percival to build the train through the town and they are going to be non-union but they're also paying a lot more money than Archie is paying.

Pay attention, union busters are also the devil. Yes, they are and just like Percival is the devil. So they are taking part of their crew to go work on that But what Gilda, the technically no-named burned waitress, tells Tabitha, is that, oh, he's building the ghost train? Yes, ghost train. So he's not building a real train.

He's building a ghost train, which in my brain, I was like, when does he need a crew for then? Do you actually have to lay down the tracks of a ghost train? or can't you just have a ghost train, like, come through the town? Anywhere, right. Now, parent, right, so Percival, right, it's not, all this time we were like, why does Percival want, again, Riverdale, the setup is too long for the payoff. But all this time we've been like, why does Percival want this railroad?

Is it like a, you know, is it like a kind of Harold Hill situation where he's just coming to swindle everybody? But no, also he's like a white supremacist and he's a devil. And so what is what's happening? And it turns out, right, it's not just any old railroad. The ghosts tell us it's a ghost train. And it's there to amass souls to, so that he can take souls from different towns and bring them in for the battle of good versus evil. So I'm assuming this is his version of like getting the troops together.

And he's going to do it via ghost train. to bring the souls two pops for the fight between good and evil. And is there some references, some literature on ghost trains that we all should be familiar with that I'm just not familiar with in terms of the rules of ghost trains? I am not going to lie to you. I did just type in, what does a ghost train do? What infrastructure is needed for a ghost train to come to my town? But there's also trains referred to as ghost trains that are empty trains that keep the lines free of snow and ice through the night.

So like subway cars, like when you see the like those kind of subway. So I guess they have the same kind of thing that's also can be referred to as a ghost train. But in this instance, it is literally a ghost train. And the Eldridge Evil. There's just, I feel like, there's never in my life as Riverdale made me feel so dumb. I was like, I don't know anything about any of this stuff. Yeah. I don't know what, like, when she said ghost train, like, she was like a mic drop of like, wow.

What is it that mean? That was how I thought. I was like, well, there's a lot of references that are put down that I don't pick up with Riverdale. So this much, like a lot of the Stephen King references and stuff that I just wasn't getting, but we're there. And we're being done well. Like, so I was like, this must just be a thing that is a thing that I don't get. Like, ghost train, everybody knows about a ghost train. And, I mean, I think I know what it is.

I have an idea, but like... I mean, now we figured it now, kind of, I think. But again, like, is it a real train? It's, does it... Or is it a virtual train? Like, you know, is it a metaphor? I guess. It's a metaphor.

So now we're going to have a ghost train coming through. And I don't know why he needs to physically build it. and why it has to be non-union workers that do it so that he can exploit them. But I guess that's why so he can exploit them and their souls, maybe? And what do the ghosts and pops have to do with the ghost train? Nothing, incredibly? Like, they were there to tell us about the ghost train. They're there to tell, they know they've heard on the ghost.

In the ghost pipeline. Yeah, the grapevine. You know, the ghost grape line. Great blind. Jesus Christ, my brain. trying to just wrap my head around what all of this happened guys we still didn't even talk about other plot lines there are two other plot lines that happened in this one has to do with t t t fangs and the other one has to do with veronica and jughead talk about union busting there was so much

happening in this episode just so much yeah so so fangs fucking idiot that he is uh he's like idiot. I'm kind of done with Fangs. I know. Me too. I was, because Gideon hasn't watched it a while and he was like, wow, T.T. and Fangs both got like way finer. And I was like, I think you might be right, but also I'm just so annoyed with Fangs that I don't feel anything for him anymore. Right. Yes. I'm so upset about like the fact, like I'm still upset about the guns. Yeah. Ever since he brought all those guns into his house with a crawling baby, I can't, I can't feel anything for him. Inside of the baby's fucking room that you just had an open bag of guns.

But don't worry, he's also a fucking idiot. And so even though he's in a union, apparently, apparently everybody on Archie's crew is in the union and they're all like, and I was like, I was making foot of Archie for being like, it's a union job. That means there'll be benefits and

you know, whatever amount of hours. And he like describes all the benefits of union. And I was like, why did Archie do that? But it was because they were setting up for the anti-union, the union buster crew, which was Percival and an uncle daddy to come in. And then they're like, you know, signing bonus and, and, you know, better hourly pay. And Fangs is like,

yeah, you got me. Brough, you have a child. Don't you want to stay with the job that gives you benefits and, like, job protections? But no, he's a fucking idiot. And he's like, I'll go with the devil for more money. And then T.T. is like, are you a fucking idiot? We hate that guy. He's literally the devil. And thanks, he's like, ugh. Because all of this, because they met with a social worker. It was too much.

There was too much in this episode. They met with the social worker. And the social worker's like, you guys don't really look that good on paper. You're both gang leaders. And they're like, oh, my God, we are gang leaders. How are we going to get baby Anthony back? How are we going to get back? I don't give a fuck about baby Anthony.

You heard it here first. I don't care about this plotline. They have been doing this, like, kind of like, throw in. Cause City Battle, like, I don't care anymore. No. I don't care. There's no real way to like have an interesting baby plotline in a show because like, I don't think anyone really wants to like hire and employ a real baby. Nobody really wants to like watch a baby be employed on a show. But also if you don't see the baby ever, it's just impossible to care about the baby. So it's just like nobody gives a fuck about this baby. Like nobody cares. And then it's so that's why Faggs is like, oh, oh. Should I get a job? Yeah, you should get a job. And so they decide that they're going to get married so that on paper they look better.

And then they're like, oh, they're a stable loving couple. Oh, look at him, he's got a job. And so what ends up happening is that he goes over to be with Percival to build a ghost train. And Archie's like, okay, all right, you could go do that. But remember, you got to have a tether. They throw, I feel like, again, they throw tether around like it's the fugue state where it's like, I'm fugue and right. now. Oh, I've got my tether. Baby Anthony, baby Anthony's the tether.

How are you going to look at baby Anthony and have him as your tether when you don't even have custody of him? Yeah. You don't have him. You don't have him anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Also, Fing is far too fragile to be able to use that tether. He's, he is a beautiful he not know that he will be taken by Percival's strength immediately. He has no, I mean, people can, even really strong people can barely use their tether to resist personal. And Titi knows all this. And poor Titi, man, because remember Titi and Fangs were really like in love for a while.

And now in today, in this episode, she's just like, I'm going to like pretend that I want to marry you because we have to like look good on paper. But like she's also over him. Yeah. Move on. Go on. Take the baby, run. Yeah, I didn't really realize how over it T.T.

was because even last week we were like, you know what? Her and Cheryl are done, like T T T T's with Fangs now. But obviously, Fangs is far too stupid to be with T T T.T. T.T. deserves much better. And we also deserve much better kissing, which, again, if it was Veronica and Jughead, I would watch it. I would absolutely watch it. I didn't know I would watch it until this episode. I know.

I know. I like it. I like them working together. Yeah, so Jughead is still using his like box of comic books as memories thing. And in this episode. To be able to change people's minds. But then in this episode, he learns he can change their memories as well. Right.

So he is using his mind control to erase Reggie's memory so that Reggie can't like. How is he? Okay. So then we're going to get into the science, right, just for like a second. If he, according to the show, he can't read minds, he can just hear what they're thinking right before they say it because of course, and he can't hear. Right. Still can hear.

Which also, that's the thing. I don't mean to harp on this Rifferdale, but how is he going to be in a show? Like, he's on stage performing when he can't hear anything. And I'm not saying that, like, you can't perform if you can't hear something. But if you're doing a magic show where you are interacting with the audience and you can't hear but for what they say inside of their head. So then Veronica is performing and also has to think out everything she's about to say while performing on stage and being her, like his, what did she say? His Girl Friday, right? Is that what it is?

I don't remember. It was some, some, some, like, old-timey reference like that that she's like, What is he like the fabulous foresight? I'll be a girl Friday. And he is, yes, he's the fabulous foresight because now Jughead is a Chris Angel. But he's not Chris Angel. He's just performing mental tricks on an audience

because Veronica needs more money because Reggie came in and was like, I like, okay, Veronica needs more money for some reason. I don't know why Veronica needs more money. I was like, I thought you were rich. I don't understand. Well, Reggie's asking for a cut of everything. everything. Right. No, but that, you're right. That's before. She's like, you're right. She's just like,

oh, Jughead, you can read minds. Let's use it. And that's fine. Whatever. You should make money. We should make money at Babylonia, which, you know, put on a show. I get it. I've been on a cruise before. I understand these things. So then Reggie comes and watches it, which, I mean, why would you just sit there and go like get drunk in front of your ex? It's not a good look for you, Reg. I think go hang out with your wise guys. But Reggie's there and he gets mad. And he gets mad. And he's, And so he wants a cut, he wants 20%, and he starts blackmailing Veronica because he's like, I'm going to tell Percival that you put a hit out on your father. And she's like, damn it.

So she pays him out. But then she asks Jughead to go into his mind like he did with Betty and with Alice Cooper last episode and take out the memory of him knowing that she put a hit out on her father. So when he comes to collect the money, Jughead goes into the comic book section of his brain and opens up the like the file on him and Veronica and rips out the page of when she told him that she killed her father or had her father killed. And then Reggie doesn't remember it anymore. This is far. He acted the hell out of this. Fis is far past being able to read someone's mind.

Now I'm like, but then doesn't he then have the same kind of mind control that personal has? Like if you could control that, can't you use that for so much more evil than you're currently using it for? Jughead? Yeah. Yeah, but he wouldn't. He's a very moral being. I know, but in the battle between good and evil, you got it. You got to use what you got at least.

That's true. Right. Well, I'm sure he'll wax philosophical about it and figure out what to do. But, yeah, he, like, I love the scene because we get to see Reggie, like, in real time, lose the memory. And he's, like, counting the money. And he has to be focused on something else or something. He has to be distracted. And so he's counting the money, and Junkhead rips out this page, and we get to see Reggie be like,

uh, uh, oh. And then he's like, don't forget Veronica, I'll tell. And she's like, tell what? He's like, oh, something. And then he goes to Percival, and he's like, she took my memory. I had something on her, but now I don't remember what it is. Which, why would you ever admit that to anyone?

I knew it was good. Oh, man. Everybody works for Reggie. Just being a big, dumb idiot anyway. And then being like, oh, I had something, but no, I don't have it anymore. But I love Veronica and drughead as a team, actually. I was thrilled. Yeah.

And I really was like, that last scene that they had together, I was like, are they about? I think they might be. Kiss? I really thought they were about to kiss. But then also we saw like Betty and Archie still seem fine together. Like they're still really into each other. So again, yeah, Betty moved in this episode.

After all these years Betty finally moved. Also in this episode, Betty moves in with Archie because she's like, I think my mom's evil. Can I move in with you? Which took you fucking long enough, girl. Why haven't you been living with him this entire time? Or get your own place. Basically, I thought we were setting it up that Jillian Drake, because Jillian Drake was like, you got to move out of there.

You got to move out of that girl. Like she was just so, there was so much sexual tension between them. I was like about to burst. I was like, yeah, you got to move right into her. Yeah, that's where you should move. You should get in there. Yeah. And I couldn't believe they didn't kiss or that she didn't move in with her, which it could be in the future though.

That's true. Yeah, I mean, also, like, maybe this is, this is, I know we have to end, but like, the, the article that I read today that you sent for regular page seven about Riverdale ending with season seven, it was like, at the sometime in the mid, you know, the mid year, uh, season of 2020 to 2023. I was like, man, when we started Riverdale Roundup, I did not, I don't think I was even pregnant. And when we finish it, we, I will have a child in pre-K. Like, we have, we have. we have devoted our lives to this show. We're here. We watch it so you don't have to. And I don't know what our next we watch it so you don't have to is going to be after this. But I guess that's another story for another day. Don't worry.

We won't have to think about it for another year. Another year. But we're going to blink and it's going to be here. I just can't believe that I have no idea if when the season finale is of Riverdale. Like, I'm like, is there one more episode? I'm just desperately trying to find, like, is there one more episode? You told me last week that there was two more episodes. That there were two more episodes.

This definitely was not the season finale because it sucked shit. No, there's definitely one more. I know there's one more, but I don't know if there's more than, I know there's more. I see. At least one more. But we don't know if there's more than that. I have absolutely, wait, what? According to TV line, the Riverdale season six finale is tentatively scheduled to air on July.

31st? What are you talking about? It can't be that. It can't be July. Is it going to go all the way? Are there really going to be? I don't know if I can handle that anymore of the battle of good and evil. I don't know if I can handle that. I think it'd be eight more episodes in this season. We've got to get to the battle. I have to see, I am so blue-balled about this battle. We've got to have the battle. It has to happen soon. We have to also. We have to also. We have to also. We have to also. so end this episode. And thank you guys so much for joining us. I leave you with this. I'm sorry that I'm leaving you in such a blue ball. I thought I was going to maybe could find an answer. I don't know why I do this almost every episode. We will see you between one and eight more times. More times. Until next year when we join you again for like a 20 episode season and all of our fucking children will be graduating from college when we're done. Oh my God. And I'll be married and I'll be well on way into just marital bliss and never have to think about wedding planning ever again.

Let's dream about that time. You guys have a beautiful week. We love you so much. And I mean, if there's one guarantee, we will be back next week to talk about the next episode. We love you guys so much. Bye. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you.

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