Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Ch. 111: You Had Me At Jingle Jangle

Episode Date: June 4, 2022

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Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Have you been dying to see us live? Then get psyched about the last podcast network, Country Jamboree, at the Rhyman Auditorium in Nashville, Tennessee on June 18th. Jackie, we're not at the Country Bear Jamboree, but I am grinning like a possum, eating a sweet tater. Because we'll have all your favorite LPN family out and performing live, including last podcasts on the left, page seven,

Wizard and the Bruiser, No Dogs in Space, Brider Side, fraudsters, someplace underneath, the story must be told, and more. Tickets available now. Again, that's the Rhyman Auditorium on June 18th in Nashville, Tennessee. The last podcast network, Country Jamboree! Oh my God, did I fall asleep during this episode of Riverdale? Welcome to Riverdale Roundup. There wasn't one kiss. There was no violence in it. And you know what? Again, I'm glad that they're talking about union rights, but I don't give a shit.

The literally most exciting thing about this episode was how Marxist Jughead's narration of the union battle led by Archie is. And it was the first line of the episode, which is there was a war between the workers and those who exploit the labor of the workers. and I was very excited, and then it was a steady downhill from there. There was nothing good that happened in this episode except for exceptionally great labor politics. That aside, nothing. Absolutely nothing. Which is obviously what we go to Riverdale to sea. And I will say one other thing for this episode is that they are pulling in people,

characters that don't usually work together. Now we've got the Veronica and the Jughead. And then also in this episode, we had Archie and Tabitha and Cheryl working together. So that was quite a threesome working together against the union. Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.

They had a little scene at the diner where they're like, how do we stop Percival and his union busting? And they're like, we make them, even though they're ununionized, we make them make a union. and they go on straight. It was like they had a quota for how many times they needed to use the word union

in this episode, which again, I have no problem with. But there was, you're right that there was nothing, there was, even the witches aren't sexy. Like,

there was, there was witchery, which we like. There was almost a fight, which we, you know, we love a fight. There was zero sex and zero kissing.

And like, it was just like a procedural episodes. It was like they needed to get a lot of information out or something. Yes. Well, and I feel like now, I think there are five episodes left. Yes. Jackie's doing some math. Jackie's like, if there's 24 episodes, then that means we have five episodes that they said that we go to mid-July. That means we can estimate that there are five episodes. Five or six more episodes. Can you imagine five more episodes of material left in this season? No. No. No. I just keep expecting them to get into the world. I guess. I guess. I guess. I'm like, okay, jump in it.

Do it. Okay, he's making a ghost train. Jump in it. Do that's either do the war or let the season die early. Like, it is 24 episodes. It was always too many episodes for a network series. But we know now with streaming that you don't need 24. You need probably 10.

And certainly with Riverdale, you certainly with Riverdale now, you don't need 24. I think, you know, with a fresh show season one, give me 24 episodes. 24 episodes at this point is just fucking trying to, you know, resuscitate a dead body on the table. It is just rough. Yes. And especially if you're going to be doing this, let's get more into the ghost train. I want to hear more about his idea of what the ghost train is going to bring. There was zero ghost train.

Yeah. Zero. It's like they have what. writers team that's like let's do witches and ghosts and then they have another writer's team that's just like let's do good union politics and like extremely expositional storylines uh and at with no stakes and they have they take turns and then you have one episode that's really ghosty and sexy and and witchy and then you have one episode where dog shit happens like what happened in this episode okay there was the custody battle continues okay

And we're going to have to talk about that because, like, it's the B plotline for some reason. It's still the B plot line. It's still the B plot line. Like, they're still doing Kevin dirty. Kevin is now, like, my least favorite character on the show, which I don't appreciate. And, like, literally what else happened in this episode? Jughead, Percival got into Jughead's mind. And Betty's serial killer brother came back.

Like, but not even to be a serial killer, just to love. lie in bed. Like, come on. Unfortunate. So here's the thing, guys. I am, you're going to hear a bunch of stuff in the background. I am at home. I had a bit of a family emergency. So you're going to hear some drilling and stuff going on in the background. But part of the reason why I'm explaining this is that I watched this episode with my mother, who has just had a really extensive surgery. And I made her watch Riverdale with me. She's never seen an episode. She has a listen to a couple of episodes of Riverdale Roundup before. Oh, yeah. But that is the extent of what

she knows about Riverdale. And me trying to explain this to a woman that is under twilight of pain medication. She even had questions about what was going on in this episode. Although I will say, I said this to MJ via text last night that my, me trying to explain to my mom, she's like, you had me at Jingle Jangle, which I really appreciated that. Love the love just even the name, because they name drop Jingle Jangle in this episode. Yeah, I was going to say they brought back Jingle Jangle just to mention in this episode that was part of Hiram Lodge's tequila. No, rum ring. Yes, because now Veronica's going to get into the absent making business.

That might have been the stupidest plotline of this whole episode, honestly. the most forgetable and the stupidest. Aren't we in the middle of your I'm Poison plotline, Veronica? Now you need another plotline about how you're going to do absinth. Hyram's not even around to make it interesting. Like, oh, you're going to collaborate with Drake, Betty's sexy assistant slash the molder to her molder. I don't trust her. Yeah.

And she's like, yeah, let's do. I used to be on the, I used to do the FBI investigations into a legal absinth. And I'd love to team up with you to make it. an illegal absinth ring. Riverdale, we've already done like literally four alcohol production plot lines. Yes. In this series, let it die. And Veronica is in the middle of like running the casino, being a girl Friday, being poisonous,

and now she's going to start making absent. They are just throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. Like, they're just like, what if it's absent production? you know, we're about five, sixth through the way of this season, but let's introduce a new plotline that has nothing to do with anything that has happened in this season. Okay, sure. Yeah, because you got two to three episodes out of Veronica being poisoned and now you are done with it, now that she's used her blood to clean Charles's sepsis out of him.

I'm angry at this episode. I am very angry at this episode. And it's just the same thing. And it's like, Percival, you're being bad. And I'm going to stop it. This time, guys, we get to stop it. And they never do. They never do.

What does Scooby-Doo? Percival is not getting sexier. He's getting less sexy. We've both established that there was approximately one moment in this entire season. A moment. Where we each felt like, is he hot? And the answer turns out to be no. And it's still no.

And this fucking guy. that we have devoted this entire season to this actor. Whole season. Sorry, actor, but I don't care about you or your character. Maybe you're fine. We won't even look up your name. I don't want to know if you're sexy and charismatic in another show and if it just has to do with what they're giving you here or if it's you.

I don't care. I don't want to know. Get out of my sight. Get out of my sight. So angry about it. I just, it really is. You're right. It's become, this episode was a garbage pale episode.

where I feel like they're just trying to slap a bunch of shit in there. And you know what? I'm slipping all over the banana peels because they didn't make it into the garbage pail. And I feel like the banana peels on the floor are really what this episode was. I got so mad. And my mom's like, you got to calm down. I was like, I'm mad about how boring it is. What did your mom think?

Was your mom like, obviously, anytime somebody has to jump into Riverdale, you know, you have to first book the two hours it takes to explain everything before they can start watching the episode. And then if they have survived that two hours, then they can watch the episode. And so it's always going to be hard for somebody. But this is a rough first episode of Riverdale because it's 10,000 detailed plots, but no sex and no ghosts and nothing supernatural and just boring. So I'm wondering what your mom's take was. Well, I sold it to her pretty good.

So I think that she's going to now start Riverdale from the beginning. Good. So I got another one on the hook, guys. I got another one on the hook. She's got to recover. She's got time to watch things. So, and I will say it was for the best that it wasn't a sexy episode because I'm at home doing the things. Like, I don't want to deal with that.

So I was okay with that side of it. I was more sad because my mom is very into witchy things. So I was hoping that it was going to be more of a witchy episode. But it was in a way, and I guess we'll get to that. First, we need to talk about these unions. So I tried to explain it. mom half the time. Riverdale's like trying to be woke, but like they are doing a good job with this union stuff. But like this is episode like four or five that they're still talking

about the unions and I just can't care. It's also just a weird way to be woke because there's not like, I feel like earlier their wokeness was like, ooh, we're like a little bit queer. Like woke in ways that like I feel like are more common amongst like TV representation and like unions are awesome. And it's just, unions aren't even a particularly, like, woke thing right now. It's just a weird, it's just a strange thing to devote this many episodes to. Again, I think it's fun. Like, I, you know, the Amazon labor union is very exciting. Following labor politics is incredibly important from a political, but like, like, it's just not that interesting. Like, it's just, the lines are fun if you care about unions, but it's not an interesting plot line. It was nice to hear from an outsider's perspective where mom's like, it's kind of. nice that they teach in young people about the unions. For sure. I was like, you're right. And I was like, but mom, young people don't watch this show.

I was like, this show is made. It was like, MJ and I are like the youngest people that like Riverdale. Yeah. So it's like, I think it's more of our, maybe not youngest, but like in the scope of the people that watch Riverdale. It's like, it's not for young people, really. Yeah. Yeah.

But, I mean, she's right. Like, it is nice to have a positive representation of unions in a mainstream show. It's just a strange choice for a show that's about witches and ghosts and devils and angels to also be like our A plot is about trying to organize a strike against a railroad. Especially when the last episode, was it the last episode or the episode before, was the same thing about like, oh, Percival is taking our workers. But now it's like, but now I'm going to take the look at back. Yeah, same exact plot. And so it's the same thing. So then Archie just then finds the holes in Percival's union, non-union plan.

Because then Percival immediately comes in and starts treating them like shit and using them in ways that the workers should not be used, which is exactly why unions were put in in the first place. Right. So what does Archie do is try to get them agitated. It's a good old-fashioned agitation of the workers to get them to strike. I couldn't care less. He's like, what if we agitate? And then Tabith was like, yeah. They said agitate so many times.

And then Tabith was like, yeah, we'll agitate by bringing free coffee. And it's just like, oh, my God, how are you making something that's like interesting and important somehow also boring? And also, can we just say, I don't think I like fangs anymore. I don't like fangs at all. No, he's dead to me. Fangs is, yeah, you know what, thank you. Thangs is also dead to me. Fangs, you're dead to us.

Because Fangs is one of the, you know, Fangs, of course, is the character representation of the workers so that no one else can get paid to have a line in the episode. So Fangs is explaining how all of the workers feel. Don't worry. All of those out, what is it? Outside. Background workers don't get any more money on these episodes. So they agitate the agitate.

Right? They're agitate, they agitate, they agitate. And how are they agitating? So Tabitha decides to give out free coffee and offering 25 cent burgers at Pops because Pops is the local center of the resistance. Yeah, they also call it the headquarters of the resistance. Which is like, right, it's like, okay, is that like a World War II reference? Yes. Because now we're like mixing different political, like, what are you doing, Riverdale?

Why are you using these buzz? It's like some writer is on Twitter and it's just like, I know a word, resistance. I know a word, agitate. Also, I watch everything with closed caption on it. And they capitalize resistance, which means, yes, they can. capitalized resistance. Oh, Lord. Yeah.

Oh, the resistance. Okay, so this is, it's the center of the resistance. Pops, which is now inside of the orphanage slash fire department slash boxing ring that Archie owns. And then they also talk to Cheryl because Cheryl in the, like the blossoms and the, and Percival Piggins family has a long history together. So this is where they lost me. to get to agitate the workers KJ Appa, yes I said his real name, asks Cheryl to go back through the history of her family

to find some damning evidence on Percival Pickens' historical line, even though remember three episodes ago when like, it's so easy to find that like Percival Pickens in the past or his family members like they were, like Nazis and they were for sundown laws and they were so like we know that he's evil and I think that the people in Riverdale know that he's evil but then they need essentially his like grandfather or great grandfather had a quote that was like we use the workers like slaves and that's what she read to the workers to agitate them yeah and then all the workers were like oh his

grandfather said that, then we strike. And it's like, all right, I'm glad that worked for your agitation, but also it is kind of bizarre to just be like, well, my organizing just relies on finding a quote that somebody else said. But he didn't say it. He didn't say it. And also, isn't, but I guess maybe this is proving the opposite point that I was trying to make. But, like, is Percival Pickens, are we even talking about his ancestors or has it been him the whole time? Is he some sort of undead ghost that won't? I think he's time travel. Yeah.

I think that he must have a tether. Yeah. Tether. That's another hot button word of Riverdale. Talisman. I think that he must. He is a tethelisman. There's a tether.

I think that he is using something. I don't think that it is his relations. I think that it is him. Yeah. But again, we don't know if that's true or not. But don't worry. There's six more hours of the season that maybe we'll get there at some point. I think that I'm bringing my anger about my life situation currently into my anger about Riverdale.

Bring it in. But I just want everyone to know I'm aware of it. Yeah. No, that's fine. I also last week I channeled my, you know, specific political grief about everything that happened last week into like a very specific, like, logistical problem involving something I have to do this summer. And I was like, ooh, I'm channeling. I'm channeling all my feelings. So channel them to Riverdale, you know, like fuck this episode.

Fuck this season. I highly recommend it as well. It is a really great little bank of anger if you ever just slap on an episode and be like, What are you talking about Riverdale? And then just get mad at the Riverdale. And it soaks up your anger like a sponge. And then I say, thank you, Riverdale, as I ring it out into the trash. And it's particularly a good sight to put your anger because there's nothing more angering

than like the disappointment of unmet expectations. And it's like when Riverdale has a good episode, which, to be fair, it has had several of in this season. Definitely. It's really great. And then when it has a shitty episode, boy, do you fall far, you know? And like that's where we are with today. We have the after, so they're like, oh, we'll go on strike because Percival's grandpa said this.

But also I forgot because a worker loses his leg. Yeah. Remember that? Right. Percival's trying to punish Archie for organizing. So he just starts torturing the workers. The workers? By taking one of their feet off in an accident.

But then also, I don't know how he's supervising this fucking work site while also running his curiosity shop into which Cheryl and Heather, who I'm sorry Heather, I want to care about you, but I don't yet. she sneaks Cheryl She's like so boring How would you make a tall Librarian Witch Who's sexy this boring? I don't know

I don't know How? Are you trying to make it boring? You cast this tall sexy librarian witch And every time they're Like on camera together It's like a total snooze fest I could sleep I could sleep

Every time there are And there's no fire between. No. Like every scene with Cheryl and Titi always just like, oh, yeah. Oh, mm-mm-mm-mia. Yeah. I just, I think it's because they haven't been given a lot. I don't even think it's the actresses' fault.

We know it's not the actresses in this case. At least we know it's not Cheryl because Cheryl could read the phone book and turn us on. But like, mama me. And I think Heather's probably fine. But again, they're just like, oh, okay, I'm a witch. I'm going to teach you how to be invisible going to Percival's curiosity shop and take this book so that you can like help Archie edge date. He's like, okay, what?

So that's our, I'm just reading this into this because this is also where I got lost. Because one thing I did like about this episode was that Heather, sexy librarian, witch possible future girlfriend of Cheryl is teaching Cheryl how to be a witch at this point. Now, Heather apparently, because she's a librarian, found a letter referencing the Malleus Maleficarum, which is a powerful arcane text, and that a feud between the blossoms and the pickens broke out because a pickens ancestor stole the text from a blossom ancestor.

So Percival Pickens has said Maleficarum. This is also where I'm glad that this is explained in the article that I'm reading right now because it was like, what the fuck is the Maleficareram? Why do we have to have it? What is happening here?

There's also a puppet in this episode. There's a lot. And yet nothing happened in this episode. A lot and nothing all at once. So they think that it's in Percival's curiosity shop, which I think is very funny because my mom in her day was just like, oh my God, it's like, my mom loves Stephen King. She's like, it's like, Stephen King, what is it?

I got to have things. That was a quote for my mother. I was like, you mean needful things? Yes, but I got to have things is very, very close. And I was like, it is like needful things, except it's not. It's called curious items, I think. Really? Is the name of his, it's the name of his curio shop.

So it's in, so this text is in there. So Heather's like, I mean, you know how to like get invisible, right? And Cheryl's like, no. I mean, I have seen Harry Potter and the Wizards of Waverly plays. So do I need like a cloak or something? But essentially, what Heather teaches Cheryl is how to become invisible. So she can get inside of the shop to steal the maleficarum back. But all you have to do to be invisible is hold your breath.

Yeah, hold your breath and like keep a steady mind or something. That was so, I was like, make it more witchy than that because then it was just Cheryl straight up like, just sitting there in the shop, trying to get the book holding her breath. I was like, this isn't, this isn't like tense at all. This is dumb. Yeah. Yeah. Channeling my energy.

Channeling my energy into Riverdale. Right. And so that, and that was just like, what did they do with that thing that they even snuck in with? that was just to help Archie, right? It was just to be like, oh, yeah? Or was that different? Like, because they also have a different project where they're archiving the blossom,

it's history, it's tough. It's like, I'm so excited they have a librarian character and they're making these little references like, oh, we're doing the archives. Okay, fine, but like, what are you doing? Like, I was also confused as to what they got in the curiosity shop versus what they're doing with the archives.

I don't know. I don't know. No way of knowing, to be honest. I literally just. watched this episode. Like, right? It's like cramming for a test. I watched it right before we started recording.

And I rewound that scene several times. And I was like, I don't understand this. I don't understand it. She held her breath, though. She held her breath. And they have the book now. They got that book. They used it to be like,

somewhere along the line, they found this information about Percival's ancestor. Right. And there's like, we know that there's like centuries of beef between the blossoms and the, the Pickens is. But, but, okay, if there is anything redeeming about this episode, maybe, maybe it's the return of Charles, but is it?

Is it? Is it? Okay. Charles, so then this is where my brain got murky trying to explain who Charles is to my mom. I know. I realized, I don't remember anything about what happened to Charles. Nothing. I was like, it's not brother, not brother.

No. This is brother. Brother. But brother not brother in so much as he pretended not to be her brother, but then ended up being her brother, while he was stupin her actual brother, not brother. He was stupin, brother not brother. He at first was not brother. But then for a while he was like, no, I am a brother. And then he was brother. For a whole season, he was brother. And then he was brother, serial killer, brother. Brother serial killer. And then brother went to prison. But then remember, there was that big. like he was supposed to marry chick but then chick I thought they both escaped from prison

they did I guess they didn't no they did they both showed up at the door but Charles was in prison and was sent home because the prison hospital was full yes and he has sepsis he has sepsis he has he has either sepsis or leukemia yes is what alice but but also this is this is great he has sepsis or leukemia, it's something about what's inside him. So it's like, I love the implication that like people with sepsis or leukemia, it's like because they have an evil inside them. Because they're dirty on the inside. They got dirty people.

It was weirdly shameful for no reason. I felt like I was watching Angels in America. Totally. Totally. It was like, oh, you deserve to be in your deathbed. Yeah. Because you are. But they did both escape from prison.

but then they both, I think they both got sent back. He was like, when we both got sent back to Shanksha, they separated us. Oh, because they got out and then they got back in. We never, I don't think Riverdale ever showed us the mass rounding up of the prisoners who all escaped. I think we saw them all escape and then somewhere along the line, Riverdale was no longer a town overrun with prisoners. I don't think we saw them be returned, but maybe they, maybe, who knows, that must have happened. In my brain, they just like got rid of the prison. And we're like, let's just let them be free.

Yeah, abolish the prison. Let them be out. Let them go do their thing. And, you know, let's be real. Letting somebody out of prison on a compassionate release because they're dying and there's no room in the infirmary is, again, the morally correct choice. However, strange of Riverdale to just be like, oh, yeah. I mean, it's the morally correct choice.

It doesn't mean that it makes any sense. Like, that's not what the prison would do. It would be like, oh, yeah. The informer is full. Go home. You can just go home then. So he's got blood sickness. And he thinks that it is payback for his serial killer.

Yes. And it is very shameful of people with different illnesses to be like it's definitely a payback of some kind. Yes. And then he opens up to Betty because, man, they really, when we saw the car. Carmel scene from seasons ago. Did we know that in the future we were going to be talking about Carmel, the dead cat, this much? I don't even think they knew, the writers knew, because that was used as a tool years ago now to be like, oh, look, your dad was a serial killer. You had a little bit of a serial killer behavior and killing an animal.

You're kind of fucked up. Yeah. But then now they're just like, well, I feel like they're sitting down there like, what do we do with Betty, Betty, Betty. Eddie. Serial killer Jean, Carmel, Kill a Cat. And you know what? Let's bring back Charles. Charles had the serial killer Jean. Bring back that guy. He's probably not doing anything. And... No, and he's sitting there confessing because she did what she did to Carmel, but she sees it as a mercy kill. But Charles needed to confess that he killed a possum in a trap at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy. And he's like, but mine wasn't mercy. kill. I just killed that possum. I was like, what is going on here? Yeah. What is happening right now? Weirdly enough, that also seemed like Riverdale trying to be woke because like it is like there's like a lot of evidence showing that like people who, you know, children who torture animals like. Like there's like a link between that and going on to like kill humans. And it just seemed like a weird. Didn't that seem just like a self aware or self conscious Riverdale of being like we're saying something? Like he's. is a serial killer and he'd torture an animal.

It just seems like, again, sometimes Riverdale feels like Twitter. Like, they're trying to make a point. Like, I don't need you to make a point, Riverdale. Just give me more kissing and witches. I want more supernatural shit. I want more kissing. And that's how you keep us happy over here at the Riverdale Roundup. And technically, we are who you are playing.

We are, like, we've got to be the only people who've seen all these episodes. I do not think that anyone else is as, on earth, is as devoted to Riverdale. as we are and the listeners. No. And even as I was trying to explain Charles to my mom and I was like, and that's coming from me that I can't remember exactly what happens with Charles. And I talk about this show for a living.

I know. And I don't care about Charles anymore. So he kills the possum and now he's being MJ, he's being killed from the inside out from his evil. It's not his blood sickness. It's his evil. It's his evil. And of course, this is really resonating with Betty

because Betty's doing a lot of soul searching about her own evil. And that's really, he's just a vehicle for Betty's self-exploration about her serial killer gene, which again is a plotline we've already done. Don't know why we're doing it again. But like I literally don't even remember who Charles was serial killing. If anyone out there remembers. Can you tell us what he did? Remember when we played the pincushion man?

Yes. The pincushion man was Charles. I remember pincushion man. I remember that he was using his position in the FBI to be. Was he like that season's killer, whatever the guy? Was he making the videotapes of people's doors? Yes, he was making the videotapes. That's what he was doing.

He was making the creepy videotapes. That's what he was doing, yes. And then I guess he killed some people. I remember the pincushion man. I remember that he and Chick were like an evil partnership, but I don't remember anything else about why he was evil. But I remember that he was. And so now he's in Betty's bed.

And Alice tries to smother him. And Betty is like, Hasn't there been enough murder in this house? Which, great point. And she's like, okay, I need to save my mom from wanting to. And Alice only tried to smother him because she feels sad because he's hurt. She only tried to smother him because she feels sad. He's her son.

And she doesn't want him suffering with his sepsis. He's got evil blood sickness. And we got to be scared for Charles all of a sudden, even though nobody cares about him. So what ends up happening is that Agent Drake All of a sudden who is like the one everybody turns to for information Since last week when we met her Now she knows everything Part of me was like in my brain

I was like what if I didn't say any of these hypotheses out loud Because I didn't want to confuse my mom even further But I was like what if she's not real? I feel like no one's seeing her but then Veronica saw her And I was like okay maybe she is real fine she's real Oh, that would have been cool if nobody could see her. That'd be far more interesting than she actually is. I think that sometimes, man, if I could just get in that fucking writer's room,

get me in that writer's room, I will come up with some dumb shit. Yes. Make her be not real. Yeah, like, you've already established her for several episodes, and then you're like, I have an idea, what if she's not real? And they're like, totally. That's fine. No need to like go back and check and see if there would be any continuity, not even remotely.

No, she's not real. Doesn't matter. That makes sense. She's not real. No one can see her. Starting now. I do kind of feel like that is how it's written. Rebecca Carmel.

It's like they bring a brand new team every week. Like a brand new team who's never seen an episode of Riverdale every week. So what is Agent Drake says? They encourage Veronica this again where I got lost. So Veronica, if you guys remember, can now how quickly their powers morph. She went from kissing via the mouth or killing via the mouth, excuse me, because she's poison. And I'm also very sad that she hasn't saying, that girl is poison. And I'm waiting for that.

I hope that it happens because she's poison. but she can also synthesize or break down poison in her body. She's like a self-contained biodialis. I think they call her a biodialysis machine. Dialysis machine, yes. That might be a thing, a biodi-ali-al. Obviously, a dialysis machine is a thing. They, like, added some other scientific prefixes to it that may or may not be real.

And so she's like a one-woman dialysis machine. And they're like, I know Charles's blood is poison. Your blood cures poison. Let's connect your blood to his blood somehow in a way that is not explained. Especially when, like, okay, we've been talking about union rights for three episodes. But then this detoxification of all. of chick's evil blood. They're just like, yeah, so we're just gonna like detoxify it

with Veronica. Cut to the next scene, they're like, well, done, we got him clean and they did the blood and now the blood has gone through. Yeah, there wasn't even like a dramatic, like, will it work scene? They were just like, oh, we're gonna, which again, that's not even how blood transfusions work.

You take blood out of someone into like a bag and then you put it in something. You don't just like connect two people. via a two and be like, circulate your bloods together, but I'm pretty sure that that's what they did here. Right? I don't know. I'm not a medical professional, nor do I know anything about how blood transfusions work, except that I was a lifelong blood donor. And I've never been hooked up to someone, which is what they say about that they're going to do with Veronica to Charles. They're like,

what if we hook her up to you? And he's like, yeah, sure, whatever. I'm afraid of dying. I don't want to go to hell for all of my And then you're right. And the next scene, they're just like, glad that one. And you're just done. What do you mean? Like, what do you possibly mean? And also that happened like 50 minutes into the episode. So like there wasn't even time to build stakes if they had cared to put them in.

And they didn't. No. They were just like, oh yeah. What's going to happen right about before the episode ends? Oh, the evil blood transfusion. And now he's good again. I guess so. In terms of the redemption politics, like there, again, we should.

should have compassionate release for prisoners. People should not be seen as incurably evil if we're going to redeem Charles. I think that's fine. But put some effort into it, people. And they did not. But in the very end of this part of the plot lines, she, like, Betty brings up like, well, now, Charles, you're here. We have to catch TBK, really just nailing it, just trying to bring it back home.

And Charles is like, oh, I know how to trap him. Cut to, this is also another thing that really lost me. And I'm trying to figure out how they jumped to this, but I think that they don't show what Charles's advice was because then Betty meets with Veronica and asks Veronica if she can use the casino to set up a serial killer fan content. Yeah. To catch TVK.

Thank you for that reminder because I somewhere missed the line where Charles was like, oh, I know how to catch him. So I was just like, wait, why are they having a serial killer convention? But it's to catch TV. But also, MJ, why are they having a serial killer convention? You could just stop at that question. Yeah. But, you know, we all know that Betty is a fucking idiot who thinks that she can stop the whole world's serial killing. problem. And you can't, Betty. First of all, there's not that many serial killers as you,

as Riverdale would lead you to believe. I don't think, I don't think there's like thousands of them active in any given small town at any point. No. You know, I think that the reason we know about serial killers by name often is because there's, in the scheme of things, not, it's not, We're not talking about like an everyday nationwide, you know, social moral decay that we cannot escape. But in Betty's world, you throw a con and you'll get just hundreds of them. But does that mean that TBK is going to go to try and like sell some autographs? Like how is like what is, why would TBK go to the serial killer convention? There's many horror cons all over the world.

Does that mean if you want to catch a criminal, you just go to a horror con? Yeah, that is kind of a fucked up suggestion also, isn't it? To be like people who are, because of course there's lots of people who are interested in serial killers, right? Sure. But like, our whole network is based on a lot of people that are interested in listening to information about serial killers. Maybe that's what they should have said. Why don't you go, why don't you mind the, the fan base of last podcast on the left? I actually would have made more sense.

Yeah, go to a last podcast on the left live show and see if you can find TBK, the audience. That would be great. Not that I'm saying that our fan base is criminals. They're not. That's what Riverdale is saying. That's what Riverdale is saying. Because they're like, oh, yeah, a con for serial killers. Surely the serial killer will be there.

I just, I am, I will say. kind of excited to see what kind of serial killer convention they put on at the Babylonium. If that's not a good episode, I will be very upset because that is a great idea, even though we're shooting on it right now. For Riverdale, in terms of being a good episode, it should be a good episode. That should be fun. Yes, I think so too. But I understand they have to throw it at the Babylonian, but they could have just been like, right, I feel like the imp the, they're just really hammering home the serial killer gene thing. for Betty and I just think it's not

it's just not we've already done this plot line it's just not taken it doesn't have any any teak it's just not catching on you know no it's certainly not catching on but I mean I am very curious for more TBK plotline however

definitely like I like the serial killer stuff the things that Riverdale does well even if they do them over and over and over cults serial killers and now the supernatural. Like, just do that. And sometimes puppets, but not in this episode. This whole other plot line wasn't doing it for me, dog. So remember that like now Jughead can go into people's minds, like they are a series of comic books. And remember last episode when Jughead went into

Reggie's series of comic books and ripped out his memory of him knowing that Veronica killed her father. Right. So that happened in the last episode. In this episode, now Percival's like, I want to do that too. Which now he can also

just, they always played it. He went from being able to control your mind to now being able to also be inside of your mind and also see your memories. Like they are also comic books. So he went, so Percival went into Reggie's comic book memories,

saw the page was ripped out, and he went, oh, this is, called Jughead, right, and all that. So he wants to get inside of Jughead's brain now. Percival is doing all this while breaking legs and building a ghost train,

while being a shop owner of a curio store, being a, the mayor, being a cop, he's in everyman, you see. But now, what he did

is that he was trying, trying to, with Reggie's help, get into Jughead's mind when he was focused, when he was being foresight the fantastic, his mentalist act over at the casino while Veronica is his girl Friday, and so he wouldn't be paying attention, and so his walls would be down. So, another thing that lost me in this episode, Percival gives Reggie a puppet that looks just like him as a totem to throw his voice

and he said it was the oldest art of deception with his totem so that Reggie will distract Jughead so that he can get into his mind. Why did he need to throw his voice? Why was there a puppet? I don't. Why couldn't you just go into his brain? Yeah, there was like, right, just some, like, using ventriloquism for the dark arts thrown in.

How did you feel about that, MJ? I, honestly, it didn't, it, I, it, the puppet stuff was such an afterthought. It didn't even. Such an afterthought. It was just like, oh, yeah, there's also a puppet. Reggie's throwing his voice. Like, it was, they spent approximately 10 seconds on it, so I didn't even have time to develop any feelings on it. Yes.

And so that happens, and it doesn't work because. Percival goes inside a drughead's brain and it's all locked up and it says keep out that means you Percival and I was like what is he 13 and trying to learn how to play the drums that means you mom

so he's got that on his closet door to his comic book memories yeah yeah it's the door to his brain is locked to Percival but then Percival figures out how to do it

and then Jughead instead of being able to, remember how we've never understood how Jughead's mind reading works? We find out in this episode that, oh, somehow he can focus and only hear one voice at a time. But now, since Percival fucked up his brain hole, he hears all the voices at a time. And we'll also say, Percival did dress up with Jughead's old bee. Yes, he needed a talism. He put on his talisman. and he also dressed in this outside serpent's jacket and for that one other moment.

Did you like it? I felt a pang of sexuality. That was what confirmed. That was what confirmed for me that I will never feel a pang. I was like if I can't even feel it for you in this, then it's never happening. I think it's just really making me realize

I got, I think I got to get the outfit for Jeff. And that's sad to say. But I did feel a pang when Titi put out of her serpent jacket to go fuck up Kevin, which we don't even have time to talk about this stupid fucking plot line, but basically T.T. and Fangs and the spend the whole episode being like, oh, we need to stop being a gang.

We need to start being a political organization like the Black Panthers. And so that we can get custody of baby Anthony and Kevin's like, oh, he's mine, he's mine, he's mine. And they're like, the whole, they don't know whose father is baby Anthony and they wanted it that way. But they don't explain, they should have, there's a missed opportunity to be like, so we both jerked off into one cup and then we did an IUI. Like, they should have explained it. And instead they're just like, we don't know. And Moose is just there

being like, Ruth is just there being like, Kevin, you're acting like a fucking dick, but I'll still have dinner with you. And then Kevin at Percival's urging steals baby Anthony's pacifier to try to do some Percival shit with it. You have a paternity test, but that also probably use Percival's magic to like get him back or whatever. And then. T.T. Find, this was the only satisfying scene. T.T. finds out. Breda was watching the baby. She finds out and that Kevin came over still the pacifier and she goes and she's like, if you ever come within 10 feet of my baby again, I'll throw you off of this building. And that was fun. And she was wearing her. And then she comes back and she's like, you know what? Fangs? Fuck it. Let's not become not a gang. Let's be even more of a gang. And Fangs is like, yeah, let's get married. But the whole thing is that Tony was like, Fangs. stop being so bad in attacking Kevin because we're never going to get custody over baby Anthony and she goes and she punches the shit out of Kevin. With brass knuckles.

Which I also don't think is going to get you. I don't think that I'm like, yeah, you'll get married. Does that then mean you'll have custody of the child? You just beat the shit out of this dude. You're both gang leaders and they both have insane rap sheets. At least Titi's doing it for baby Anthony. Fangs is honestly only thing about himself. Titi is like, you came close.

to my baby, I will put on brass knuckles and punch you in the face. And I think that's fun. You know, I like that. And I love, oh, Tony, oh, when she gets all serpents. Oh, but then, so what ends up happening? Something's going on with this baby, right? And essentially, they find out Percival already knows that Kevin is not baby Anthony's biological father.

Fang says. So personal knows a lot more about the situation than anything. anybody else does, but I did write down this line. Percival says, baby Anthony is the future, Kevin. Yes. Which is a problem because I doom the future and there can only be one. So this, he says this line, which means I'm assuming he's going to sacrifice baby Anthony at some point. Definitely.

Which is why he wants Kevin to get custody of baby Anthony. Yeah. So I'm assuming he wants to sacrifice him. But also, because there can be only one, it's like a Highlander situation. But then that happens, and it cuts right to the very end with Jughead with all of the voices. Now that his mind is open and he can hear all of the voices of like ghosts of like memories. But what I finally put two and two together is that he goes down to the bunker. He leaves Tabith a note.

And he's like, Tabitha, hey, I'm hearing all these voices and I got to like go away for a while. but he goes down to the sex bunker in the days of from the days of your and he starts hearing things that aren't there and then the Riverdale title pops up but it glitches and it goes from Riverdale to Rivervale to Riverdale to River Vail. It did? Yes. So, oh, so you didn't see that. No. It was like right at the little like thing at the, you know, like the dun dun dun at the end of Law and Order. Uh-huh.

But so I think they are going to start bringing in the hybrid of like that now Jughead is able to bring in what happened in Rivervale. Riverdale. That's a good idea. Why didn't they do that? It's a good idea. Wow, something good did happen in this episode. Unbelievable. Wow.

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. So it is, you know, we've talked about this in the Redel a lot. They do these talky episodes in between big acts. action things to set you up. So I think that the next episode, which I do now see, Riverdale is off next week. And we'll be back on June 12th with the musical episode. So is the musical episode going to be the hybrid of River Vale and Riverdale? I don't know. Wow. And will it be Jesus Christ Superstar, which is what we were hoping for, but I'll bet it won't be because they haven't even brought in the Jesus stuff or the angel stuff lately. But well, wow. Wow. Okay, well, that is, well, it took 49 minutes of this episode, but we found something we liked about it. That's cool. I like it.

Wait a second. Is that, oh, American Psycho is a musical? That's the musical episode that they're doing, by the way. It's American Psycho. Yes, I did not know that American Psycho had a, and oh, it includes the score from the movie, working psycho. So then I guess it's going to be a TBK episode? I don't know. Wow. Yeah, okay. All right. They better bring back fucking Rivervale because Rivervale was good and Riverdale is not good right now. So not good. And I want it to be good again. So we'll be there. We're going to figure out, will it get good, will it not get good, what will they sing? Will Kevin be the director? And we just talked for the same amount of time that Riverdale So, well, even episodes we don't like, we can talk about for a hundred thousand years.

Wow. Isn't that good to know? I guess we won't see you next week. Everyone enjoy your brain opening up or closing off. Whatever you're probably closing. However you picture it. And we will be back two weeks from now with American Psycho, the musical. Let's see.

are they gonna screw it up? I am excited. Thank you guys so much for joining us for Riverdale Roundup. We will be back in two weeks. We love you so much. And hey, have a great day. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you.

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