Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Ch. 112: The Power of Song via Union via Mind Control

Episode Date: June 26, 2022

Betty takes out the trash and we learn some interesting news about the process inside the Riverdale writing room in this totally not almost forgotten volume of Riverdale Roundup! Support us on our Patreon page and get weekly bonus Patreon-exclusive content! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Intro song by Green Dreams Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Have you been dying to see us live? Then get psyched about the last podcast network, Country Jamboree, at the Rhyman Auditorium in Nashville, Tennessee on June 18th. Jackie, we're not at the Country Bear Jamboree, but I am grinning like a possum, eating a sweet tater. Because we'll have all your favorite LPN family out and performing live, including last podcasts on the left, page seven,

Wizard and the Bruiser, No Dogs in Space, Brider Side, fraudsters, someplace underneath, the story must be told, and more. Tickets available now. Again, that's the Rhyman Auditorium on June 18th in Nashville, Tennessee. The last podcast network, Country Jamboree! Whiplash from this episode, between how much I hated it and how much I loved it. I have never yelled so much during an episode of Riverdale of one that I actually technically enjoyed. This was a head scratcher for sure because it had some things that we have been calling for and clamoring for. It had up in the queer, yes, please. Giving us more kisses, okay.

Absolutely queer kisses. Yes. Some resolution to certain storylines. Okay. Great. All right. Yet I was like a normal. most of the episode.

So how do I square the, why? Why were we so annoyed? I was so, my face, I thought it was going to be stuck in a permanent grimace, is the word. I growled a couple of times while I watched it. This episode, yes, remember at the end of last episode, they were like, yeah, we should do like a serial killer con. So that's what this episode was. It was the serial killer convention that the town. of Riverdale is putting on, aka SlaughterCon. SlaughterCon. And in this Den of Geek article that I look at

the person that does recaps to remind my brain, they are also asking, where are our Slaughter Con t-shirts and how do we get one? I wish that they sold them. And if they did, I would certainly purchase one. Yeah, I've never been like a into serial killers person, but I like the idea of becoming a person who's really into fictional serial killers, you know, like, I'm really into TBK, but I don't know anything about BT. You know, and this is what, but we now know so much more, I guess we don't know anymore about the trash bag killer, what we do know is that it was a genuinely creepy end. This was, like, this episode had genuinely creepy parts. Yeah. And one thing that I need everyone to know this was a fake

musical episode, I feel. Yeah. This was slightly more a musical than a regular Riverdale episode. Like, okay, when you have a show that... Slightly. Like, one out of every three episodes has a musical performance in it. So if you're going to call something a musical at that point, you're going to want the whole thing

to feel like a musical. This was just a Riverdale episode that had like, what, four songs in it? Like, not even that many. Yes. And very important note that it was. It was, you know, not brought up by anyone in the episode, which I did not know, that the American Psycho Musical was actually adapted for the stage, like the book was adapted for the stage by Roberto Aguirre Saucasa, who is the showrunner of Riverdale.

What? So that, that dude was hawk in his own bullshit. That's called self-plagiarism. I mean, I guess it's not plagiarism if you're referencing it, but what we call it very self-referential. Wow, that's so, what a bizarre little nugget there that you think. Yes. You know, I've got, I got a couple of nuggets for us today. I have found out a couple of things about Riverdale, which the other nugget, I guess I'll drop later on about the writers of Riverdale that I found out this weekend. So we'll get there. But that's a little nugget dangle I've got for you before we start talking about SlaughterCon. of course, where is Slaughter Khan happening at the casino, where everything happens? Of course, they got to do it at the casino. There's so much, if you think a normal Riverdale episode has a lot.

This one has unions, bachelorette parties, curses, a musical episode, there's murder, there's more joining up of vaginal forces, varying to that. I still do not trust Agent Drake with the life of me. Yeah, more than ever. And another thing that this episode has that I love that Riverdale does sometimes is two characters absolutely hating each other's guts and then doing a musical number together like 10 seconds later. And that is what I really, really enjoyed about this episode. It squeezed me. Please reprimand me if I am wrong, MJ.

But isn't Kevin currently sucking Percival Pickens penis? why is he the lead in the American psycho musical and SlaughterCon? I'm sorry, Kevin has become somehow, forgive me. A show! The worst character on Riverdale. He is a fucking shell of a man. He has no personality. He has nothing grounding him.

He has no consistent plot points. Like, he has zero, like literally, at least, whatever. You know how we feel about Archie here at Riverdale Roundup. But at least Archie, say what you will about him. He's a consistent character. He is working for those unions. I tell you what. He cares about two things.

He cares about his dead father and he cares about union organizing. About the union. Is that consistent from season to season? No. Dead father, yes. Unions are just a, there is some writer in that writer's room that I want to think. Someone brought up to me, a friend of mine brought up to me recently, remember when Archie thought he was being courted by the FBI. It was like, oh shit. Remember when he was like an undercover FBI agent for a season?

Yes, he was. Yes. I forgot about that in high school. Yes. He's done a lot of jobs. And so we can forgive his changing interests. Our interests change with the seasons. That's fine. But Kevin has at least internally within this season, Archie, and really generally speaking, we know Archie's a family man. wants, he's like, you know, oppressively, morally righteous. You know, we know, like, the characters are consistent. Veronica's kind of a sassy bitch. Betty has the darkness. Kevin, what is Kevin's deal?

It's like, okay, you're like this insecure, like, gay musical theater-loving cop who, like, immediately and very easily aligns with, like, Like the most whatever evil force comes to town because you have no values and no principles. Yep. Except for cruising in the woods because he's a husky boy. That's all we really know about Kevin. All we know about Kevin is that he's damaged. Like that's all we know.

He's damned. He's just, he just gets more damage as time goes by. I hate Kevin. I'm sorry. I know. This is, it's sad. It's sad. With a melancholy here.

at Riverdale Roundup, do we say that we hate Kevin? And you know what? It had nothing to do with his performance of American Psycho because, like, he was doing a fine job of it. But still, it wasn't adding into, so essentially how did they jam American Psycho into this? They had it as a performance at SlaughterCon. What else was going on at SlaughterCon? There were many different little classes, I don't know, what you call them, little shows that

they put on. So we've got American Psycho, the Mew. musical. We have at some point Betty is going to be interviewed by her mother about her time at the well. Girl down the well with TBK. With for

some reason, a rotary phone plugged in and hooked up in between the two of them. I guess that's not so unsurprising because the whole thing, right, is to lure TBK. And so they, so yeah, so they have

this phone set up. And of course, TBK does indeed call. But yeah, the scene where Alice is interviewing Betty is just like, I love that they're like, you know what, of course this doesn't make any sense from a journalism point of view, from even like a production point of view. Like, but let's do it anyway. Oh, that's right. There's also the Black Hood cosplay and there's a Griffins and Gargoyles tournament as well

happening at SlaughterCon. Now, the Black Hood cosplay comes into play. because there's one dude that just keeps showing up with real weapons for Betty to sign. Because now Betty in this world of serial killer fans is a goddess because not only did she get away from TBK, but she also is a killer herself. So this whole episode was really, it was Betty struggling with, am I just the dark, like you're not Batman, Betty. Like it gets to a point to where you're like, oh, right, I even love Verizon.

At one point was like, Betty, I've killed more people than do that. I know. I actually enjoyed that scene quite a lot. Like this episode, one good thing in this episode was both Archie and Veronica being like, Betty, just fucking relax, all right? You're not that dark. Like, you're, she keeps you, I have dark thoughts. Well, you have dark thoughts because you were putting a well by a serial killer.

Like, that's okay. Yes. And you were groomed by your father to be a serial killer as well, fine. Yeah. Yeah. You got problems. You got trauma. don't need to call it dark thoughts, Betty.

We can call it trauma. But instead, she's just like, spends the whole episode basically implies, I mean, in the whole season and the whole series, basically implying she's like one small step away from becoming a serial killer herself. But that's never really been that true. She's just been, like, kind of sad and depressed and traumatized and happens to have been the victim of at least two serial killers. Yes.

And also has to deal with a lot, like, you know, remember when her mom really has gone off the rails, like three or four times? Like every time. She's got, has a lot to deal with. And remember when like her boyfriend, she found her boyfriend all like mutilated. Yeah, her sister was killed by like a group of wood dwellers. Is that right? Yeah.

Yes. You are, that is right. Yes. The orphaned, um, incestual clan of blossoms that live in the woods. One of the many populations that live in the woods and River. But they have been dropping a lot. And so if we are to be correct, there's only one more episode of Riverdale left. And so why do you think then?

So we need to talk about Agent Drake. There's so much that we need to talk. Okay. Let's get one thing out of the fucking way. And that is the power of song via unions, via mind control. Can we please talk about? part of this episode because remember

Archie's still fighting Percival about the unions and the construction site to build the ghost train and so Purcell goes and he mind controls all of the workers to go and work for him again but then his nose starts to bleed

so you know that it takes a lot out of him to mind control that many people at once but how do they tether them back MJ? How do they get the construction workers back through the power of song. So Archie shows up, Oh,

Archie shows up with his guitar and starts singing, what is it, Bread and Roses? Bread and Roses, which is like a real, like union, like a,

it's a real political protest song from, whose origins go back to 1911 and is like a real, you know, the phrase, bread and roses is like a real thing, you know,

about like, you know, bread for all roses too, about like, like, right, you know, workers' rights and abundance and dignity. And, like, so they, somebody in that writer's room knows something about unions, which is just a delight, but also so confusing. They left their dignity at the door for this one. And while singing Brett, so he shows up and he's singing his song.

And then Tabitha and Tony are by him. And they all hold hands. And they bring the families of all of the construction workers to try with the power of song to tether them back to reality so they stop working for Percival. This is just three minutes of this episode, by the way. And you haven't seen this season of Stranger Things, right? No, I have not. So I'm not going to, this is, it's very hard because there is some strange parallelism going on

thematically between this season of Stranger Things and this season of Riverdale in terms of the power of, spoil. Can I give like a spoiler for Stranger? I allow it. I'll allow it. Spoiler for the next 10 seconds. Mute it if you don't want to hear a slight spoiler for Stranger Things season four. Like the idea of a song as a tether back to reality is something that exists in both seasons.

It's really strange to have it be done very well in season four of Stranger Things and then have it just be done incredibly poorly. The exact same idea. tether. Oh, man. Are they just like, ah, yeah, no, that's a tether. And then, uh, bring it baby Anthony. Yeah, no, it's a fake baby, Anthony, but yeah, bring him in. It's a tether. We need all these tethers. So many tethers. Yeah, this, this 1911 old protest song is like an emotional tether for all of these people in Riverdale. Okay, sure. You have, whatever. Love it. Yes. Love it slash hated. Oh, I hated it. I was so, I was so angry. I had to pause the show. I had to pause the show, I had to text to MJ, and then I had to yell about how angry. I was like, oh, good.

It should have been a song that needs something to Riverdale. Not that I don't love a protest song, I do, but like it should have been, I don't know. Oh, God, what would it have been? Or could they have figured out, like, if it's a musical episode, why didn't they, couldn't they have figured out something with American Psycho? Like, something? Bring in American Psycho. Right, yeah, because it would have been, I mean, I feel like I associate Riverdale with, like, in season one when they did the like sugar, sugar, like performance of the football game. You know, like, I feel like that's what it should have been,

but that wouldn't make any fucking sense. Yeah, it's just him singing cherry bomb alone. And I would actually have understood that more than bread and roses. Right? Like, wouldn't that have made more sense than bread and roses, even though it is so confusing to have a show that is about, this season is about like a war between heaven and hell. and like serial killer resurgence

and then have the other plotline just be like also unions are really good let's bring a bunch of really specific political You're talking about the writers knowing about the new unions this is my nugget that I found out over the weekend that I can't believe I didn't know this about Riverdale in the writer's room of Riverdale in the Riverdale writers room

they have like 14 people and each person writes the lines for specific characters. What? Rather than cohesively writing the story together. I'm sure at some point they get together to put it together, but they have different writers for different characters. What?

On the show to keep the, like, the character solid throughout. But doesn't it make so much sense of why it's, so unhinged. I was like, how did I not know this? It made so much sense. I don't know if this is the case, I don't know how it goes, maybe it changes by show. I thought that the industry standard for a network show was that one, usually one writer writes an episode. I think one writer is in charge of the episode, so it comes down to the, like, they are the one that provides the cohesion. Yeah. But I think on the whole,

they all write the different characters, or at least this is what I've heard. And it It just makes so much more sense of why, like, I love, you know, we love Cheryl. Cheryl is always solidly Cheryl. This is the thing. Wow. Yes. It makes so much more sense. The only consistent thing in Riverdale is their dialogue.

The stories make no fucking sense. Wow. Oh, my God. I can't believe I didn't know this before. It's like the last five years of our lives have been worth it. Have been explained. It makes sense. Oh, my God.

Okay. Oh my God. Yeah. Because Jughead is always... I'm glad you're just as excited. I'm so excited that you're just as excited as I was to find out about this. I am, because I was excited. Like, I have a friend who writes for, you know, like a network, like, kind of, it's on whatever is ABC or CBS.

And, you know, she gets every... Per season, she'll get, like, one episode that she's the writer on, right? And it's like, she is in charge. She, you know, she's like, yeah. And like you said, they all work together. there's like one main writer for the episode. And that's what I've always assumed that because, especially because it's a network show, I don't know how if it works, if it's different by across, you know, industries or whatever. But like, I just always assumed, okay, this is a network show, 22 episodes, they probably have a writer's room and then they probably rotate who writes each. But like, to have it, oh my God, because their dialogue is truly the only consistent thing in the show. Yes. Wow. Wow. Wow. What a bizarre way to order it has a collective writing experience. It's like a fucking party game, you know?

It's like... Which makes me then weirdly enough, love it even more. Like I'm like, okay, okay, I'm back in the case. Because then watching this episode, it makes so much more sense, too, where you, like, Lily Reinhart, I love the writing for Lily Reinhardt. I think that she is killing it like this whole episode, so it's whether or not she's dark Betty or not. And she's also dealing with the fact that she's not only dangling herself as bait for TBK,

she has to step in for Kevin during a whole performance of American Psycho, which that alone, I was like, that's a theater person's nightmare when you're not even an understudy, but you have to just step in and just sing all of the music for someone else in the lead of a musical. But why does Kevin drop out of the musical? we haven't even talked about it yet is the fact that Cheryl finds out that T.T. and Fangs are getting married because

T.T.C. comes. And of course, Cheryl's like, here's my new girlfriend, though. Heather. And so Titi invites both of them to her bachelorette party. But Cheryl, of course, scorned lover. What does she do? She teams up with Kevin. Again, Kevin,

who is currently having sex with Percival Pickens. And they decide to put a curse on Titi and Fang's relationship to drive a wedge in between Fangs and Titi, and they don't know what's going to happen. So they end up, they put the curse on them. And they're like, we don't know what the wedge is going to be, but what does the wedge end up being?

It is that baby Anthony starts dying. And so then they're like, oh no, oh no, wait, wait, wait. We didn't want to kill the baby. It's like, yes, Kevin. the baby that you are going to trial to obtain, you're just going to put a curse on the family? Yeah, right. Oh, I love this baby so much.

I'm going to put a curse on their family. Doesn't make any sense. Kevin is evil, like, inconsistently evil. You know, but evil nonetheless. Yeah, and so Tony and fangs are like, oh, help us, Cheryl. The baby will stop crying. And she's like, sure, here's this witch you've never met, who claims to be a midwife and a night nurse.

And just let her create a tonic and give it to your baby. And they're like, oh, thank God. He's been quiet ever since you gave him the tonic. And I spent the next 10 minutes being like, oh, my God, is Heather evil? Is the baby dead? Yes. Did she kill the baby? Because remember, when in that scene, Cheryl's like, oh, she went out to the greenhouse

and created a cocktail and then it had a flashback. What would that? Well, can you explain that? flashback to me? Jeff asked me and like Jeff is the steel trap when I was like, ah, if you're asking me. And I was like, I feel like that that was a flashback to Cheryl talking about making a poison from her. Yeah. Greenhouse. Because remember like, oh, it was like, I think it was like evil twin daddy time period when we found out that Cheryl's mother was making poisons with like with the stuff she had in the greenhouse.

So I thought that that was a flashback to that, which is why I also kind of thought that baby Anthony was about to die. Yeah. But they didn't kill off baby Anthony, which would have been, it would have been a weird move of Riverdale to kill off that baby. I will say that. That would have been quite an interesting choice.

Especially since the baby is explicitly the hope of Riverdale, you know, like the hope for the future. I know, because baby Anthony, yes, has to be like the guiding light, has to be the Jesus Christ. I guess for the next episode. I don't know what's going to end up happening with baby Anthony, but yes, he is the hope of Riverdale.

So now they're all saved and they're all fine. And while this Slaughter Khan is going on, which we didn't even get to the fact that Agent Drake, so remember Agent Drake is the sexy FBI agent that Betty's been talking to. We called the fact that, like, obviously they're kind of falling for each other. She's a very attractive FBI agent. She's like Betty feels like she's the only one that she can show Dark Betty to, and she's the only one that she can really talk to about anything.

And what does Agent Drake do at SlaughterCon, but put on a presentation on high bristophilia, which is a sexual interest in an attraction to those who commit crimes, a parapheria in which sexual arousal, facilitation, and attainment of orgasm are responsive to, and contingent upon being without. partner known to have committed a crime, i.e. a serial killer, i.e. Betty Cooper. Ah, yes. Yeah, right. So this was really an agent Drake heavy episode. We got to see her do this little presentation. She was kind of like, oh, I'm like Miss Expert. And a couple of episodes ago, I said that she had a Zoe de Chanel vibe. But what I meant to say was that she has a Dakota Johnson vibe. She's like a, you know, you know. Oh, yes. Like, yes. Yes. Yes. I can totally see that. Right.

And so she's like, oh, I'm like mysterious. And like no one knows who I am or why I'm here. And then the other important thing about Agent Drake in this episode is that she, you know, Lily Reinhart can just act this shit out of anything. And so she, Agent Drake comes on to Betty. And she's like, I'm attracted to you. And Betty's like, ooh, me. And Agent Drake is like, yeah.

And Betty's like, oh, well, I'm so flattered. but I'm with Archie and I'm not interested. And Drake is like, are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure I get like big vibes from you. And Betty's like, I'm me. Me. And then she has like a, like a. I love this reenactable, by the way.

Me vibes. I like, I love Lily Reinhardt's like, I'm flirting with you face. I like find it to be very charming and also sexy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so then she has like a. It's not exactly a sex dream, but it's like a post sex dream about Agent Drake. And then she tells Veronica and she's like, maybe I want to go bang Agent Drake. And maybe it's like not working out with Archie.

And Veronica's like, slow down. Cool out. Who is this lady anyway? Like Veronica, place of reason. Except Veronica oversteps a motherfucking boundary. Yes. Because what ends up happening is that Veronica unasked for goes up to Agent Drake and it's like, stay away from Betty.

Betty doesn't want to fuck you. You need to like slow your role. Yeah. And how fucking dares she? Because don't you speak for somebody else's loins? Thank you very much, Veronica. Yeah. Keep you nose out of it.

But I don't know why she needs Betty to be with Archie so bad. Like she's all of a sudden just like, you can't leave Archie. Like I was like, Veronica, it was like how many episodes ago then you were like, we were end game? Like, where are the end game? And now you don't want Betty leave. archie for any reason, even though Betty obviously is sexually interested in Agent Drake, as well as possibly interested in TBK. Right.

Yeah. Right. Because as Betty sat in for Kevin when she, like, went to go sing. Right. She was singing this song about like being like the girl for you. I don't know. It's some song from American Psycho, the musical. Yeah.

It's like, will you... A girl before is what it's called. Yeah, the theme of the song is like, are you going to be there for me? And who is it who asks, like, are you singing that about Archie? Are you singing that about TBK? That was Agent Drake that asked her about it

because she was obviously thinking about somebody as she sang the song from American Psycho. And through, like a through line of this, obviously with hyperstophilia, as well as like with Agent Drake, not only being attracted to Betty, who is a, quote, serial killer of sorts, or at least of the mind, that Betty is also in love with, and TBK is in love with Betty. Right.

Now, TBK makes no bones about it. He calls and is just constantly like, we could be the best super couple of serial killers if you could just be with me. And you know what I mean? He's got the bod for it, but he's just given off kind of creepy vibes. And maybe she's not into it. but he's really not taking the hint, which is why he also then,

he's not showing up. They're doing all this bait. Kevin keeps singing, and TBK just is not showing up. And we don't know how to get him to show up. But of course, again, because of the Black Hood cosplay, there is the dude that keeps showing up with weapons

that people keep thinking is TBK, but it's not. It's just this dude who's obsessed with the Black Hood trying to get Betty to sign old weapons of the Black Hood. But I will say as someone that has gone, to many cons. They make sure your weapons aren't real before you come into the con.

So maybe they should really hire the security of the con to make sure that people are bringing in fake weapons and not real weapons. Especially what the whole point of the con is to attract an actual serial killer. Yeah, you think they'd be watching out for people more rather than just like have an Archie there every once in a while when he's not singing to tether the construction workers back to reality.

but maybe you should be there more, Archie. But, like, is there any, like, reason to think that Betty is attracted to TBK? Obviously, she's obsessed with him in a way. But, like, I felt like that was kind of one of these things that Riverdale just kind of threw in to see if it'll stick. I think that they might be starting to do the confusion, like, for Betty of obsession and love. Uh-huh. Of like maybe she is so obsessed with him because she does love him, you know, Munchausen or whatever, you know, of like maybe they, he saw in her,

what she's always saw as like seen in herself, which is what her big issue with Archie is. Right. Archie doesn't see the darkness. He doesn't see the darkness. But then they actually had a really good conversation because Veronica, one of the few things that she did say that was right when she was like, why don't you talk to Archie is how you're feeling rather than. just being upset and like all this agent Drake stuff,

why don't you talk to him about it? Yes. And that's essentially what she says, Sam, like, you've never accepted the darkness in me. And I actually thought it was a really good scene because Archie's like, no, you don't understand. I see the light in you. And I want to bring the light of you out.

And I almost like cry because it made, it was like, it was a pretty good scene between the two of them. Yeah. And I thought that that was a great character development for them because you're right. Like, yes, he doesn't cradle your darkness the way Agent Drake and the way TBK does, but Archie does believe that you are a good person at the end of the day. Yeah.

And he knows you really well and he's been there for all the dark shit that happens. So it's not like he's in denial about it. Right. I accept the fact that he's Archie and he's kind of in denial about everything. But like, you know, yeah. Like I agree. And I thought it was nice that Veronica was like, Archie and I didn't have enough conversations about the state of our relationship.

and so you should, like, you can save, you can do what we didn't, you know, and, like, save your relationship, which is nice because I like Archie and Betty together, and I want them to stay. I don't want Betty to be like, I mean, unless we open it up and they stay together and she's like, but I also want to go fuck Agent Drake,

that would be fun, fun. Yes, please. And then Archie will be like, okay, I'll go make out with Jughead and like, that would be fine. Yes, please. Yeah, because we have, Jughead is not in this episode because he's just too busy,

He's just down there in the bunker, listening to all the voices of Riverdale by himself. But we cannot forget, please, to talk about the, see, and the Bachelorette party? Yes. Thank you. Because this is what I said before about. I was so upset. See, all these things. We're talking about all these great things in the episode.

And then you have the bread and roses tether. And then you have this, ooh, this bachelor party made me so mad. I loved it because Veronica had just been a massive bitch to Agent Drake and was like, keep your fucking pussy away from my friend, bitch. And then in the next scene. And on top of it, Cheryl also just put a curse on Titi and her fiance and her child. Yep. But don't worry, they all come to the bachelor party.

They are all, I will say, looking great. They look great. Lily Reinhardt. Lily Reinhardt. Drake looked great. Fucking sparkly blazer. Wow. Yes.

Wow. Yes. It's just something, like it is, I realize what it is, is that I have a crush on Lily Reinhardt and not on Betty. Yeah. So I think that like in my brain, you see her in that kind of outfit and I'm just like, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yeah. Like, I forget. I like older Betty.

I have a crush on older Betty more than younger because younger Betty always dressed. They always dressed her in those annoying girl next door. Yeah. But like, so older Betty, it's like she's got like sassier hair and like better outfits. And she's always wearing like professional clothes and she's dark. And yeah, but so they're all in the champagne suite. And Veronica, as she does, gives her little speech. And she's like, all right, ladies, who I just cursed out and some of whom have just put actual curses on each other. Katie Keen sent us some outfits from Lacey. Lacey. And then all the girls are just like, eh, and it's like the type of girl friendships that I haven't really had much in my life. Partially, I think, because the way that they're depicted here in Riverdale, they don't exist. But the kind of like, you know, the like, we're all having champagne and dressing up. Yes. And they're like dancing on each other. And they're all just like, we're having this great time, which I just, that's just not the kind of parties I do with my friends. That's what you

and I are going to do in Nashville, right? Is that what we're doing in Nashville? should I bring my glitter outfits? And they sang this song from American Cycle that I'm assuming is sung by the victims of American Cycle the Musical. I'm not familiar with American Cycle of the Musical. It's called You Are What You Wear, and it's just them singing about brands

and how they're into nice things. And I was just like, this doesn't make any sense. I hate this Bachelorette party, and I hate this song. I got really mad. I like The Bachelorette party, but I hated the song. But I think I just liked it because it was so stupid. I actually felt like that song had been sung on Riverdale before, but I must be wrong about that. Somewhere, somehow, I have heard that song.

And the song is terrible. There's no words to it aside from just singing the names of brands. And then them being like, I love these brands. Like, it is absolutely baffling that it's a song. And somehow I know the song. And so the Bachelorette party starts with them all in the champagne suite, like having a great girl time together, even though half of them hate each other. And then ending up on stage performing, right?

Like they performed that at the con or was that just part of the fantasy? No, they just burst. I think they burst out of the con and that they were, then they're in the con singing the song and they've got all their sexy clothes on. And I don't know, I was just so upset. Who are all these people? Why are all these people in the casino still? Is the con still happening?

Are they in the middle of the performance of the show? Like, I don't get it. Yeah, I just assumed it was a performance at the con because it made no sense. They were all singing privately in their room. And then the next thing you knew, it was singing for an audience. Why do I still get angry, MJ? Right. Why do I still, like, why do I let it get to me so hard?

It's Riverdale and it's a musical. So it doesn't need to make sense. but on the one hand, but on the other hand, like they went to such meticulous lengths to make the other musical numbers make sense. They're like, it's not like they just burst into song in a Riverdale musical. They always are like, we're about to sing

because we're going to do a tether for the workers. We're about to sing because Kevin's putting on this musical. Right. And here it was just like, we're just singing. We're just singing in our Bachelorette party privately. But also it's a performance. There's just, you know, you can't, You can't hope for, you can't be mad when there's no consistency in Riverdale because you can't hope for consistency in Riverdale.

You're right. It's my hope that's the problem. Yeah. I need to just stamp out that light of positivity when it comes to Riverdale and just let it wash over me. Yeah. And I will say that I wish that I had taken my own advice when the scene ended up happening. So this is after Betty does her performance at SlaughterCon, right? and then it's all of the girls.

And that's when Agent Drake was like, who are you singing that song to? Were you singing it to Archie or are you singing it to TBK? And I was mad because they showed none of Lily Reinhardt's performance of American Psycho. And I was like, oh, you're just going to go right past it? That doesn't make any sense. And Betty gets this like far away look in her eyes and it backtracks to her. tracks to her singing the song,

TBK showing up, and actually the end of this episode was gripping. I truly enjoyed what ended up happening with TBK because her singing a girl before, the bait was too much for him, so he shows up, and then he goes to Betty's house. This is after she has a dream

that she's Stupin' Agent Drake, which, man, I wish they gave us more Stup in the dream. And not just it be the morning after. I was like, please, I just need to see it. I'm a little horn dog. Show me the Stup. I got a feeling that hopefully we'll be seeing Stip between them and the future.

So it was all a dream and she wakes up and she looks out the window and she sees TBK at her house because remember she lives at Archie's house now. So she runs over to her old house. She sees Charles and Alice Cooper tied up with bags over their head, duct taped around their head because they were about to die at the dinner table. Very creepy. Yeah.

Betty rips open the bags and Alice Cooper's like, he's waiting for you. He's waiting for you in the garage. So she goes out to the garage, which is where the grooming of being a serial killer began. Right. By Hal Cooper from the very beginning. Right. And a whole dinner is set up, which all. Also, I had the question of like, did TBK make all this time?

Did she get takeout? And set up this food because, Mazel. Or unless he made the whole meal while she was there performing. And I'm impressed. He's got roses out. He's got the whole thing because he's courting Betty. Right, right. He wants to have, he wants them to join forces.

Right. And then next to her meal, he sets up a, which you know what? Well made. Pepea machet TBK mask for her to wear as well Kind of sweet present on a first date

which is really sweet And I don't But how do you feel So this is all going on While she's singing the song From like her performance So it was

And she ends up using She took the gun That the person had brought To be the Black Hood cosplay That tried to get her to sign it She'd taken that gun from that dude. So she has a gun on her. And it's the real gun that Hal had used.

Yes, the actual gun. And she has it loaded on her. And she ends up shooting TBK only once. And I was way, I'm like, when does he get to pop back up? I know, I know. When does he go pop back up? She only shot him once. When does he go pop back up?

He doesn't pop back up. Right. And he dies in the garage. Right. I am shocked that Agent Drake has nothing to do with this or does she. That we know of, right. I am shocked that he's dead or is he. Right.

And we don't know who he is still. And we don't know who he is. How did she not immediately go over there and rip off that mask? I know. Even if they didn't show us, at least show her ripping off the mask and being like, and then have that be the cliffhanger. Yes. That was like a bizarre choice not to do that.

Yes. Like why didn't they do that? And right. So that was kind of, kind of, yeah, I support that in terms of stakes and plot and whatever because it made it be that like he basically made her be a killer again, right? But because like, okay, are you going to like join me and be a killer with me or are you going to be a killer by killing me? Right.

You know, so that's like a nice little device. But Betty is a killer. Yeah, she's already been a killer. But she's usually been a killer for good anyway. This is her thing. Like she's not a serial killer. She's a superhero. You know, she's like, I kill.

She's a killer of good. Yeah, I kill her for good. You know, it's like we don't condone it necessarily, but we can get behind it. Like, I mean, who all has Betty killed? I was thinking about this when Veronica's like, I've killed my father, my husband, and, you know. Heraldo accidentally. Heraldro accidentally. Like, I know, well, she's killed her father.

She killed her father. Right, but again, that was for good. Yes. Now she's killed TBK for good. Yes. She killed, did they kill that guy who they thought was TBK, you know, the lonely highway guy? I don't remember.

Oh, wait, no, she tortured him. Remember? Yeah, yeah. The guy who was part of the crew that killed her sister. Yes. Yeah. Did they kill? Killed him.

Killed him. Yes. Yeah. I'm going through, there is a list of who has died on Riverdale and who has killed. Oh, thank God. The person on Riverdale. So that's what I'm looking. Oh, I forgot Titi's a killer.

And Penelby Blossom killing a lot of people. Hiram killing a lot of people. Veronica. Who Titi killed? Titi killed Uncle Bedford. Ah. Hit him with a candle stick. He killed him then.

This is so, oh, God. Oh, yeah. So, and then, no, I guess that's it with Betty. Betty has just killed that guy. Oh, my God. Do you remember La Jorona? Remember those episodes? Vagely.

Not really to be up. No. No, Betty kills Archie Andrews in a headshot. Oh, that's in some, in a jughead, the jughead paradox. That was a lie kill. All right. I think that's it. All right. Yeah, so whatever, you killed a serial killer.

You're a fucking cop. Of course you killed the serial killer. Like, that's your job. You've been hunting this guy. But it's presented as a. world dilemma and it's pretty compelling like okay you have to become a killer now and then what happens she goes in and she just like tells her mom and it's like I kill that guy and then they're like oh good then this is why so this is where Jeff like I love it when he yells about

Riverdok because usually he remains mostly quiet and then afterwards when she's talking with Archie when Archie's like I see the light in you I know that you're a killer and Jeff is just like she should be at the police station oh they're not going to going to bring her in for questioning. There's not going to be a conversation over who this is. Why is she just sitting there talking about this with Archie? There's never any follow-up when someone has killed on Riverdale. Like Geraldo? Zero follow-up after Herald. Oh, man, I also forgot that Dr. Curdle Jr. put on a part of the SlaughterCon as well where he was showing people how to do an autopsy. Autopsies. Yeah, that was cute. Yes, I forgot about that. And I love,

I love Dr. Curdle Jr. I was hoping that Dr. Curdle Jr. would find love, not in a hopeless place, but find it at SlaughterCon. I was like, if there is a woman or a man for Dr. Curtle Jr., it would be at SlaughterCon. Yeah. And I was waiting for him to find love. Yeah, I was hoping for that, too. I really wish nothing with the best for Dr. Curtle. Remember that when we learned he's like a fan.

He's a stand for, oh, what was? there was like some performance, like a pop group. Oh, yes, that he really loved. And he was like, I love them. I was like, yeah, some little character development for Donald. I love Dr. Curdle Jr. I love that we, I don't give a fuck about his first name. I love how creepy he is.

I love that he was a part of the performance at SlaughterCon. And that's why like really wrestling with the fact of do I love this episode or do I hate this episode. Yeah. I loved it, but I hated parts of it. It sounds like you loved it, but you hated the bread and roses. Don't even get me started. Oh, don't even get me started. And the Bachelorette party really did also fill me with Fury.

Both of which are fair to hate. I did not hate either of those scenes as much as you did, but I think I hated the whole episode slightly more than you did. Just because, you know, I just want it to be less confusing. But that's perhaps just too big of an ask. Yes. Yeah, I think it is. I want to understand what's going on. I was glad how little Percival there was in this episode.

I want that guy. So happy about it. I can't wait for him to be gone. Get rid of him. Yes. Edgar Ever and Everham. Just like, or at least pretend like he's going to space.

Literally. Let us shoot him. Just get him out of here. Yeah. Done with Percival. Yeah. But I, well, we don't have an episode next week. We do have an episode the following week.

I don't know if that's the last one. Okay. All right. So we have another week off. Interesting. We got another week off. Very interesting move, Riverdale. you parcel it out and make us wait for our nuggies, our little nuggies of the fight between heaven and hell.

Thank you guys so much for joining us on this, man, all over the place emotionally, episode of Riverdale Roundup. And we didn't even say that, like, we did get the kiss finally between Heather and Cheryl. Heather's still on the fence about her. Yeah. I'm not liking Heather. Talk about not trusting someone. That bitch has something up her sleeve. I'm still not convinced that she didn't poison that baby.

She's hiding something. If she's not hiding something, the actor is just playing her as if she's hiding something. There was in that kiss, I think that's why I wasn't as excited about the, like, the fun extra queerness of this episode. Because there was not a sizzle, not a lick of passion in that kiss. I was just like, it looked like two pieces of cardboard and you're kissing Cheryl. Yeah. Give me a break. I would have just been like, duh.

I'm in love with Cheryl. I know. And she's too good for me. She'd never have me. And that's okay. I know. But I need the passion. Yeah.

There's no passion between Heather and Cheryl. I don't know where they're going with that storyline. I don't know if we're there and this is it or if they're taking us somewhere else. I truly, every time they're on stage together or in a scene together, I'm just like, where? Why? Who cares? Why is this so weird? Yes, it's so uncomfortable.

And in this episode, Cheryl showed Heather a painting she had made of the two of them as little girls. And that kind of creeped me out too. I was just like, can't you just paint yourself now? I think they just need to, like, admit to each other that they're both gay but don't like each other. Like, I don't. And that's okay. Yeah, that's fine. Just because you made out when you were in seventh grade and now you're adults and you both want to be witches.

Like, I think you guys want to be friends. Yes. I don't think you want to be kiss partners, you know. No, she's still so hung up on Titi that she put a curse on the family. I think that she needs a little bit more time. Even though it has been seven years. Seven years. So maybe she needs Heather to just like open it up a little bit.

I open those lips a little bit. Get in there. It has been seven years. I forget about that. MJ, I forget that it has been. seven years. It's easy to forget. Gotta get over it. Well, thank you guys so much again for joining us for Riverdale Roundup.

And we will be back in a couple of weeks. And thank you, MJ. And we love you guys so much. Love you guys. Bye. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.