Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Ch. 128: But That IS A CoinciPink

Episode Date: June 10, 2023

WHY'S THERE GOTTA BE ALL THIS MILK? Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser are going on TOUR! Dates and links to tickets at lastpodcastnetwork.com Support us on our Patreon page and get weekly bonus Patreon-exclusive content! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Intro song by Green Dreams Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey guys, page 7 and Wizard and the Brewser are going on tour. Yes, the release that Butthole Cut Tour. Holden, where are we going? That's right. Starting in June, we are going to Portland, Oregon, Tacoma, Washington, Oklahoma City, Kansas City, and St. Louis, Missouri. Where can we get tickets, MJ? For tickets, go to Last Podcast Network.com.

What's that one more time? That's Last Podcast Network.com. Yeah. Noice. Oh, baby, baby, she couldn't decide on a bed. so she tried all three. I loved this episode. MJ and I have been talking for about a half an hour.

I love that we do this. We don't bring up anything about the episode. We save it all for Riverdale Roundup. And I love this episode. Did you love that? You must have loved this episode. Absolutely love this episode. Yes, we like to leave it all on the field here at Riverdale Roundup.

We don't talk to each other before about Riverdale so that we can explode with excitement to say, Finally, we got a threesome. If only in fantasy form, we did get a brief little fantasy threesome between Reggie, Archie, and Betty Cooper. And it was everything we've wanted forever and more. I'm so mad. And the only reason why I'm mad is because I had to watch this episode early this morning because I forgot to watch Riverdale before we record at 8.30 in the morning. And so I had to wake up early to watch it without Jeff.

And I'm so mad because he heard me downstairs going, yes, yes. And he's like, do I have to actually watch this Riverdale episode without you? And I was like, yeah, dude, I'm sorry. You're going to have to watch it because it was a great episode. No, man, you got to rewatch it with him. It was a good enough. I would never, you know, I would never suggest you watching the same episode of Riverdale twice. But this season, that's the thing.

This season, it actually, like, I would rewatch this one. Yeah, dude. Like, I would watch it with Jeff right now. It was that good. It was, so this is, also, it really fucked me up because obviously they're writing this as if the season started when a lot of other seasons of television start, which is, you know, especially like on cable. Right. Not cable. Non-cable.

Right. What are the regular channels called anymore? I think we call that cable. You call that cable? Oh, my God. Cable now. I want to say that makes me old, but I think that makes me young. There's no not cable, remember?

Yes. So then what do you, so the regular channels are just, are also called cable? I call it network TV. Network TV, that is what it's called. It's network TV. And so it is, so it's like, it's going along the same calendar as if it came out where another network TV comes out. And that is usually, you know, at the end of August, beginning of September.

Right. So this episode was a Halloween episode. And I was just, I'm so. as a goth bitch, the one thing I will say I am angry about is the fact that it is not Halloween and that we are just beginning the summer because I know that you love the summer, but I hate the summer. And I'm just such, I'm such a cold weather bitch. And people go, why do you live in Los Angeles? Because I have to. I don't want to live here. I want to be where it's cold. But that's too much about me. I was just mad because it's not actually Halloween. Yeah, I mean, you're wrong about that part, but you're wrong about not liking summer, but you are right about this episode making me want it to be Halloween. I also, you know, I don't usually like the fall because it makes me think of the upcoming

depression that I will have in the winter. But I'm trying to fight that. I'm trying to embrace to at least be a fall bitch because it's not fall's fault that the shudiest season comes right after it. And so I am trying to embrace fall. and I also love Halloween. And watching this episode, I was like,

am I looking forward to Halloween, even though it's not even technically summer here in New York City yet? Yes. But yes, it was a great Halloween episode. It absolutely made me thirst for real Halloween. And this episode had everything, namely the brief threesome between Betty, Archie, and Reggie.

But also, we finally got a lot more movement. on the spook, on the milkman stuff. Yes. And that really was what this season was missing so far. And I knew they were going to come back to it. Obviously, they'd been planting the seeds. And we have faith in their seeds this season, unlike in previous seasons. They can put their seeds in me.

I'll germinate plot lines. And so we finally got like our spooky episode. And they knocked it out of the park. It was sexy and spooky. Yes, and multiple times I went, what? What? To myself, which means it's a great Riverdale episode. Yes, yeah, we got a lot.

Even I wasn't mad at Veronica this time. Me neither. Yeah, Veronica did great. She did exactly what the town needed, which was throw a giant, sexy teen burlesque show. Because of course she's going to bring back the burlesque. She's Veronica. And so we found. find out of the beginning of this episode that Riverdale doesn't like Halloween because a few

years ago, a car full of kids very tragically died on Halloween, like a car full of high school kids. Two bulldogs and two vixen. Two bulldogs too bad. And they were, you know, they were being Halloween pranksters. And so ever since then, the town has kind of like been like, okay, kids are allowed to trick or treat, but teens are not allowed to be out. Like teens need to shut it down. And so right away, we are set up with, you know, what are all the teens going to do? I will say, of course, this starts with Veronica showing up to school in full, barely there witch costume, which in my head, I was like, in 1955, she would have been kicked out of that school so fucking fast for wearing essentially like a bikini of sorts with like a mesh overlay. Don't get me wrong. She looked great.

Yeah. She looked at all, but she would have been burned at the stage. Yes, they would have kicked her out of school so fucking fast. Weren't you supposed to like, wasn't this the era when you had to like, like, get on your knees to make sure that your skirt went past your knees? Like, and she showed up in a bathing suit. And all of everyone is looking at her and they're like, oh my God, Veronica. And then she like comes in and she's like, all right, I get that like my costume is bold. But why is everyone looking at me like this?

and they're all like, we basically don't do Halloween. We aren't really allowed to do Halloween. Sheriff Keller is like, now remember kids, we don't do Halloween here in Riverdale. And of course, this is the perfect challenge for Veronica, who is trying to revitalize her stupid theater that we don't care about. And she's like, oh, I know what I'll do. I'll have like a teen night for all of the rowdy teens to be rowdy here. And that way they won't shut me down because at least the kids aren't out on the streets. and so she starts to plan her burlesque, what does she call it?

A fright night? Ghost show. Ah, thank you. A ghost show. A ghost show, which I was just like, is a ghost show a thing? Which I want to go to a ghost show, but I've never heard of a ghost show before. But now I want to be at a ghost show. Yeah, it's a kind of a combination of, yeah, well, yeah, it turns out to basically. Sexy variety show? Just a sexy, scary variety show.

Yeah. Yeah, which I mean, even if you just called it a sexy, scary variety show, sign me up. And also it was gay. So it was a sexy, scary, gay variety show. Yay! It's all the things that I want! It's all the things I want and won. It made me so excited. Because of course, Veronica is sad because she can't, she can't celebrate Die de los Mueros with her family this year, because her family has just ousted her. She's still living at the Babylonium. She does get called out for it at some point. but that is after we see the show and what she puts together.

And I want to say, I do want to have our shoutouts. And I know I'm not getting to other theories just yet. But I do want to have a shout out to Zen who wrote in talking about a thinking that they also were going to do the musical episode as Rocky Horror. Because technically, we were all right. And I don't know if this is, but then this is the question. is this the musical episode because there was only two musical accent? Was there two? Well, there was Fang singing

The Hell by Squirrel Nut Zippers, which was great by the way. Yeah, that was great. You're right. I totally forgot about it. I was like, oh, I was so happy that they had Fang sing. I was so happy that I once again went back to how mad I was about last week when they didn't let him sing. Yes. Because the Fang's numbers, performances, have been fantastic. And then, yeah, they did a Rocky Horror song. But I'm sorry, this is not a criticism. It's just an expression of confusion.

We are in 1955. Rocky Horror came out in 1975. Correct. Can you help me understand what? I mean, the squirrel nut zippers didn't come out until the 90s. So I'm pretty sure they just threw it all in the trash with that. I think they were just like, you know what? what if we just don't think about it.

All right. All right. That's fine. That's fine. I don't need any more than that. I was trying to figure out. I was like, is there something in the text of Rocky Horror

that suggests that it existed in the past? You know, the way that Greece came out in the 70s but is about the 50s. I was like, is there some reason why this might make sense in 1955? But I am very happy to just be like, nope, it doesn't make sense. Neither does the squirrel nut zipper song,

which sounds like a 50's song, isn't a 50's song. That's fine. I have. Ninety-six. But I did... What a time. I know that, like,

even jumping ahead, but just watching Fangs as a greaser sing. And I also personally love that song. It's a great song. You're going to be in the first. You're going to be in front of those areas time. Every time I hear the song, it's like, yeah, I love the song.

It is a great. I actually didn't realize at first that it was a squirrel-th-zipper song. I was like, whatever this 1950s song is is really good. And then I realized it's a squirrel-that-zipers song. It's so funny because they're being so meticic. about like the literary stuff and the text. I know. And I love the idea that for the music,

they're just like, whatever. It's the past. As long as it's from the past, it's fine. But then, or does that tie to a bigger thing that like, okay, is that like these little parts that are coming through that is 2023 that comes through into 1955? You're right.

I have no idea. Because it isn't really 1955. It's all really is. I mean, or if it is really 1955, they are still people from the future. And so in their brains somewhere is that squirrel. It lives. Is Rocky Horror. Yeah.

So it does make sense. It's fine. Yes. It totally works because they actually are from the future. Yeah, it makes Riverdale sense. Yeah, it makes Riverdale sense. Definitely. Wow.

So just throwing that out there that maybe these little bits are coming through. I do. Well, God, there's so much to cover. All right. There's so much to cover in this. I know. There's so much to talk about. I was about to bring up the fuck bunker again because the fuck bunker is not back, but

someone on Instagram was like, wait a second, is dead Brad Rayberry's apartment the new fuck bunker? And I was like, and that was before I had watched the episode and I got so excited. No fucking happened in it. But I like where your head's at. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think it's good because basically what happens in this episode is the unoccupied yet

paid for apartment of Brad Rayberry has become kind of the extra property, some just vacant space that Jughead has access to. You can just go in. And so what happens to Jughead? Also, by the way, I will say that it pains me to say this because everything we know about Coles Fruz, but I do, the only thing I would change about the threesome fantasy is that I would trade out Reggie for a fucking Jughead. I would.

Whoa, you choose, you choose Joggy over Reggie? I would, I would. Especially in a threesome with Betty, don't you want, again, let's pretend it's not Cole Spouse. I don't know. Let's pretend it's Dylan Spouse if he's less insufferable or let's pretend it's just somebody who looks like Cole Spouse who doesn't have any of his personality and none of the dating history with Lily Reinhard.

Okay, none of the dating history. None of that. Let's rewind to whose Jughead was in season one, right? That's why I want the Archie Jughead. Betty threesome because it's just more canonical to me than Reggie. And if anything, Reggie and Archie, if they're going to have a threesome with anybody, it should be Veronica, not Betty, right? But that's fine. I guess, yeah, that does. You are, you are completely correct. But I was so, like, I'm not

usually, like, I'm not like a big muscles kind of gal. Like, I don't really care about that. Yeah. But there's something about when they did those close-ups on their arms and I was just like, I felt myself like faint onto the couch. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was very good. Again, do not get me wrong.

And the reason why Jughead wasn't there is because Jughead is off on his own. Jughead is getting very, he's getting a little bit of romance, I suppose, with Tabitha, but he's not really doing any of the sexy teen stuff because he's busy trying to solve mysteries. And so he gets a call from Ethel early in the episode.

Ethel is at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy. as predicted, she is not doing well. She is describing the nuns being abusive. She needs to get out of there. And she's like, once I turn 18 in a few months, I will be a not, I won't be a word of the state anymore and I'll be allowed to live on my own. And so Jughead is like, come stay in the abandoned apartment of a newly dead man. And she's like, great.

Well, she says that after she is actually already broken out and escaped the sisters of quiet mercy because the phone call was all about like essentially drughead being like, wait a second, milkman. We've got the milkman with Brad Rayberry. Sheriff Keller's not listening to me when I'm telling him that it was a murder. That because he's like, well, the weird old woman down the hallway from last week was like he didn't, she didn't see the milkman. She just heard the milkman.

And that's not enough of a quinky pink to, uh, to go. for that to go, I lost my train of thought because I'm so excited to include Coinkie Pink in the proper way. I can't believe we have to say Coquinky Pink for the rest of our lives. Because we do. Because we do. But that is a Coquenky Pink. That is a Coquinky Pink.

Yes. Of like, oh, it just happened to be that the Milk Man was there both times. Right. And the Milkman is still just like, we'll get to what the Milkman is up to later on in this episode. So Ethel breaks out of the. Sisters of Quiet Mercy shows up at Jughead's door. You can just see the love in her eyes. I know. They're still making her so sad. She's so in love with him. She's so in love

with him. Just kiss her. Also, give her something. I think that Jughead might love her too. He's like being very, very, very like open and loving and warm with her. I really want them to stand each other. Like, I know he's with Tabitha. Well, someone had written in a while ago, and but also had said something like that maybe that that jughead in 1955 is more of like the ace character that he kind of was in the comics and I don't know if he was like forever more of like an ace character but like that he wasn't the one that was interlocked with other people he had no he didn't give a shit about anything he was the one that like that that's like more of a jughead trait so I do also wonder even with Tabitha it's like it's not hot and heavy it's true you know it's definitely like more of a jughead trait. So I do also wonder, even with Tabitha, it's like, it's not hot and heavy. It's true. You know, it's definitely like more of like a friend like, oh, I do like to kiss you. Yeah.

But like I, but like a friend I like to kiss you. Like I feel like there's not a lot of passion between them. Totally. And he just, but he like really seems to have a very close and loving friendship with Ethel. And I would not be mad if they kissed. I think that it would be great. But she loves him and they are keeping the kind of like sad Ethel thing. going. But yeah, she shows up at the door and she's like, I just couldn't stay there.

I need somewhere to go. And he's like, go to the dead man's apartment. And she's like, great. And then he's like, you can help me figure out who his theory is if they can figure out who is who is the author who first wrote the first milkman cometh, which is of course a nice man cometh reference the milkman comic comic then if if they can figure out who wrote that story then maybe that will lead them towards this milkman killer because of course the story basically predicted what is now happening in real life and he goes to his boss and he's like who wrote the story and this guy's like I don't know these are comics anthologies the writing isn't like credited individually but if you want to come to our Halloween party tonight all the freelancers will be

there I was just thinking about like what it would be like to be like a freelancer writer in 195 probably people could make a living at it back then um i guess because it's just a bunch of like cool guys there like young weird nerds who are kind of cool uh plus joe from little women there's also joe from little women who also was i guess that was before 195 but that was before nineteen fifty five just saying so so jughead and ethel are going to go to they're not even going to the the ghost show they're not doing what any of the other teens are doing they're going to go to the party and see if they can find the writer of the original Milkman, cometh story to figure out if they know who's the milkman. That's their, that's their job. And it was so, I don't know why it was

so weird to me, because when they show up at this freelancers party, this dude who we've never met before was just like, jog-head! Yes. Hell of a guy. Come on into the pilot. And I was just like, who the hell is this guy? Do we know this guy? That was so disorienting. Yes. I was like, who is this guy? I forgot what party they were even at. I was like, what who and then i was like oh okay this is the writers party i guess this is just a room full of like again young men who basically look exactly like jughead yes you know it's just like a bunch of young guys who are like kind of cool kind of quirky kind of nerdy and i guess that's what the guys who write the comic books in 1955 are like so but none of them are none of them claimed to be the author

until they find somebody who gives the name do you have the name on hand of the guy who wrote the milkman cometh. They're like, oh yeah, it was this guy. And they were like, but then he died right after it was published. Pretty weird. He hug himself. And he left a note saying he'll never write another story as good as the milkman cometh. And so they, you know, they really, they really did the thing. They found out exactly what they needed to know. Yes. And he also, quote, unquote, killed himself. So we are led to believe that like, Sheriff Kemp, is bad at his job. The fact that, like, I'm not saying that, like, there can't be multiple, you know,

instances of unaliving yourself in, in that small town such as Riverdale. But, like, it's got to be, I mean, did they look around and see milk in the place? Because we saw later on in Ethel's old home that, like, there's just, like, the milk canisters are out and the milk canisters are out at Brad Rayberry's apartment. And there's just milk out. It's like, that doesn't alert you at all of like, why is there just like a bunch of milk out? Yeah, there's now three deaths, four, since it was both of Ethel's parents, but three different instances of, of, you know, violence that are tied directly to a milkman. And Sheriff Keller is just like, don't go poke it around where you shouldn't jughead.

And obviously, something is going on here, especially the fact that we, Brad Rayberry was a writer for. Pep Comics, as was this guy who wrote the milkman story. So that, but what was the other, what, didn't Jughead and Ethel also do some other like sneaking around where, because there was like several instances in this episode where we saw the jingle jingle jangling of the milk coming. Well, there was another jingle jangle time, but we haven't gotten to there yet when it comes to, that was not, yes. That's not with Archie, though. Yeah. Okay, thank you. That's what I was thinking of. Okay. All right. Got it. Yes. No, he's everywhere right now. He's jingling jangling all about. But actually, wait a second, I just had a, I just had a connection, lightning connection in my brain. Hold the phone. Okay. This is excited. I, does it have to do with the jingle jangle of the milk? It does it to do with the jingle jangle of the milk. Okay. This has something to do with, I think that we were talking about last week. No, okay. This also goes to what Zin was saying.

earlier, adding on to Shana's theory about the milkman from last week. Okay. Okay. So Zinn is adding on to Shana's theory about the milkman being a morality murderer at the for the parental figures.

When Betty asks Alice, why are you afraid of me before Hal intervenes? Remember this is when like they were having their big fight? What if Hal being Clifford's cousin is in on the murdering amoral parents thing, even though he's not part of the three creepy old men.

What if Alice knows and that that's a whole sacrifice thing? And the reason she got so controlling with Betty was not to get murdered. So she's trying to keep Betty in line so that she doesn't get killed. Because if they're going after, they went after the amoral mentor. We don't know a lot about the writer of the Iceman Cometh, of the Milkman Cometh. So like maybe he was mentoring something and like putting people astray. But that does also make sense because the milkman shows up outside of Betty Cooper, Betty and Alice Cooper's house.

Yep. Uh-huh. Right. So maybe what the theory is then is that if the milkman is murdering people who he thinks are immoral, which is basically actually what Hal was doing when he was a serial killer in season two, if that's what the milkman in this season is doing, then Alice is trying to save Betty by forcing her to be like the most morally pure 50s girl possible. Yes.

And not letting her be a slutstress. Yeah, that makes sense. That does make a lot of sense. Yes. And they continued, what if Alice doing the I'm no longer your mother bit to avoid being murdered? Because even though Brad Raybury wasn't Jughead's dad, he formally identified himself as a men.

So maybe Alice saying that I'm not your mother is because of that. Oh, so maybe the milkman would, she's trying, so Alice is trying to save herself from the milkman by being like, I'm not the mentor of this immoral person. I remove myself. I separate myself. Wow. Whoa. So she's not actually trying to save Betty. She's trying to save herself, save herself, which also lines up with Alice Cooper. Very much what she would do. Even Liss also wrote in, I just want to say again, thank you guys so much for your theories. Thank you for just your, even if you're just sending in your rants into the void about what you feel about Riverdale, I just want you to know we read them and we appreciate them. It makes us feel not so lonely. So thank you so much. You can send in your own Riverdale theories and Riverdale Thoughts to page seven podcasts at gmail.com. Now, Liz said, which this is something I didn't remember at all,

Season one, Alice tells Polly that she's no longer her mother, a la Betty, this season. I don't know what all this means or if it means anything other than we're running low on creative ideas. But all of the dead are back in New Riverdale. We are essentially recreating season one. I'm here for it. I'm here for it too, Liz. It's very hard for me not to project all of the thinking I've done about succession onto Riverdale because if they both had their final seasons. they are very similar shows.

One show is succinct and excellent in every way, and one show is Riverdale. But like the way that in succession, you realize that everything that has been said throughout the entire show meant something, you know? And I'm not going to say the specific, but there's a moment where something happens in the final scene of the finale.

where it is new information and it recasts everything just ever so slightly. It's like this. And then you, but you can go back and look at all the dialogue from the previous seasons and be like, oh, oh my God. This has always been true, but they didn't really like, this is like a reference to something that's always been going on, but we didn't even really know it. Like, if the Riverdale writers are doing that level of like knowing all of the episodes and the text and so well that they can be like, this is something that Alice, in season one and we are bringing it back.

Like, it's possible. I mean, these people... It's possible. These people must, you know, eat, sleep, and breathe, Riverdale lines, can you imagine? Yes. And especially, like,

I don't know if they've been doing that since the first season, but, like, we know that in the writers' room that they are writing for the characters. So, like, wouldn't you, like, really be obsessed with your own character and your own character's storyline? Totally.

Especially if your character that you're assigned is Alice Cooper. What a rich text. Alice is great in this episode because the entire time Alice is pissed because she has no control over Betty. She also is pissed because she and Hal usually do like a spooky night where they dress up in tattered clothing and they watch scary, obviously like not very scary movies on RIVW. And so she was pissed off at Veronica for putting on the ghost show while it was taking viewers away. from what people usually watch. And even Veronica was like, well, what you do is a family show and what I'm doing isn't

really a family show. It's more a teen show. But what do you think is going to happen? Because, all right, so essentially, what ends up going on with the ghost show is Veronica puts on, you know, a bit of a review, which is great. And there's a Rocky Horror song that is sung by Cheryl and T.T. and Kevin and Clay. As they play the characters of the dead students of Riverdale High who died just a few years ago, by the way. Just a few years ago.

Can you imagine how important such poor taste that would be if four kids at your high school had died at a car accident? And then a few years later, they did like a funny, sexy burlesque about it. Yes, I was thinking the exact same thing. I was like, if this had happened like 30 years ago. Like that would be one thing. You can be like, oh, town's, town ghost story. If it's, yeah, you got to be at least long enough ago that no one who's still alive is still devastated by it. And this is just something that is, like, I'm not really complaining because it's all, it's Riverdale.

But it is so funny to me to be like, yeah, a few years ago, a bunch of teens died. It's like, everyone would know their names. Everyone would still be sad about it. This is so sad. And they're just like, oh, we're the dead teenagers who died. We're sexy. We're singing. And we're kissing.

Which would be very even to the, like, I feel like, I know it's a teen show, but I do feel that everyone would be very shocked. Oh, yeah. By Cheryl and T T T T. Kissing in front of everybody. Yeah. And it's very bold. And everyone, yeah, they kind of, yeah, it's interesting. They kind of, afterwards they're all having a debrief at Pops. And Midge, Midge and Cheryl have a special moment in this episode because Cheryl, you know,

usually has a sleepover on Halloween night for the vixens. But Tony is like, do you want to come do this, this burlesque show with me? And Cheryl's like, oh, I'm supposed to host this sleepover, but like, yeah, I kind of do want to do this with you. And then Midge comes to Cheryl. And Midge is like, I don't want to go to the sleepover. I want to go watch fangs perform. And Cheryl's like, no, it's a tradition. You have to. And then she's like, you know what? Actually, I don't want to do it either. So let's like team up and like, let's confess our secrets to each other about why we don't want to do it and why we need to go to this show. Well, especially it was after Penelope was being her own Penelope Blossom self and was straight up like,

I know that you like to kiss girls, Cheryl. So instead of all of the girls sleeping in your room, you're going to sleep out in the middle of like the Great Hall instead so that she could like keep an eye on them, which also fuck you, Penelope Blossom. Yes, fuck you and fuck Julian. We'll talk more about Julian later. But. But so there's this very special moment where basically before the burlesque show, they kind of agree to make a little pack. We find out afterwards that they pretended that they had influenza, which, you know, in an age without social media, maybe it really is possible to just lie to your friends and say that you stayed home and then go to a party. But they were at the big party that everybody was at. That everyone in town was at. So probably it will get back to their friends that they lied about it in a town like Riverdale.

But so they go together. And then afterwards, they're all at Pops talking. And we basically realized that Cheryl has told Midge her secret, which is that she is gay and in a relationship with Tony. And Midge has told Cheryl her secret, which is that she's pregnant. And because I forgot that that's still a secret. And- But also, how many months pregnant is she? Because she is not showing.

And at this point, she must be like four or five months pregnant, right? Yeah. But with a, like, a taught teenager, you know, with a first pregnancy, you might not show. I didn't really, I didn't really, I didn't tell. people I was pregnant with Freddie until like 20 weeks, which is halfway through, like four or five months because I wasn't showing enough to, I could hide it. So it's, it's, you know, that's, I feel like that's the whole, I didn't know I was pregnant thing. Like teenagers get pregnant. I'm so scared of it. I'm still scared of it and I'm 35. It's like, you know, they, and some people still like, you know,

bleed monthly when they're pregnant. And so everyone, when that show was out, everyone was like, these fucking idiots. And it's like, yeah, like teenagers are a regular. It's very, very, if I had gotten pregnant as a teenager, I would absolutely not have known until, you know, until you start showing. And even then, you might try to figure out a way for it to not be that because psychologically you're like, no. So yeah, midges, I totally forgot that it was still a secret. But of course it is, because it's 1955. You can't just be a pregnant girl in high school without getting chased out of town. No. So they're in this nice little pack together. And they're like, wow, I can't believe you guys kissed on stage and they kind of write it off like oh you know it was the moment i got swept up in it

it was a ghost show like everybody knows it was just part of the show no one will be too worried about it and that i agree with you jackie i think everyone would be freaking scandalized if that had happened in 1955 and it's i mean everybody cheered so like right on it's cool but it's yeah it's definitely a bold choice i do also feel like between that and alice cooper snuck in and like watched what was happening during like the burlesque side of the of the show between that and the kiss this is going to be this is going to blow the fuck up yeah yeah yeah there's no way it's not like i feel like it's going to be alice cooper's new like new mission to shut down the babylonia absolutely of course and it's going to be yeah she's now alice cooper has ammunition against cheryl um which you know alice

is always in bed with the blossoms and she needs she's such a god Balsopi bitch. She needs all the dirt she can get. So yeah, definitely. And the best part of Alice in this episode is that she's dressed in this like ridiculous Halloween out there. She looks great. She looks like she just got electrocuted. Yeah, her hair is all gray and sprayed and standing up. And she has kind of like zombie makeup on. But she's just like furious the whole episode. She's just like storming around yelling at Betty, sneaking into the show and spying on the teenagers. So yeah, that's that piece. Meanwhile, Julian Blossom is out wilding with the Bulldogs, even though stupid shitty Uncle Daddy was like, hey, no Wilding tonight, boys. Can we bring back the phrase wilding?

Because I really feel like I was like, yeah, we went Wilding. Yeah, it was crazy. You know, it's an interesting choice that they brought that up because what I remember the word wilding being originally used for, or at least the first, I should say, the first time I heard Wilding, was in the context of the coverage of the Central Park five, which happened in the 90s. Oh, God, I'm sorry. No, no. I thought it was fun.

It is fun. But it was used as like, that's what the, which of course, all those five kids were innocent, but it was all the coverage was the boys were wilding. That's what teens do. So it is interesting that Riverdale used that word because that was the word that was described to be like, you know, when teens are out terrorizing people. And it was called, like they call it wilding. So in this context in Riverdale in 1955, these, you know, Julian and the white bulldogs

are in their car going around smashing pumpkins. And not the band. Yes, they are not the band, unfortunately. It would be weird. Talk about anachronistic. There were, or I guess non-anachronistic. If they were just like dressed like Billy Corgan and like all of the members of smashing pumpkin and be like, wait a second, it's 1950. And they're smashing pumpkins.

And so we've got the ghost show going on. We got the Wilden going on. And we've got the, um, threesome. The threesome. And what the threesome is up to, they have added a fourth who is Dilton Doyley, who's wearing a giant pumpkin on his head, pretending to be a little boy. Well, because Reggie grew up in Duck Creek and he's never, ever celebrated Halloween before. And I think it's really cute that Betty and Archie are like. You know what?

We should go teach Reggie about Halloween tonight. But of course, as teenagers, they weren't allowed outside of the house at night. And of course, my brain, because I didn't have Jeff to talk to, like, kept getting wrapped up of like, but they're not supposed to leave the house. Why are any of their parents letting them leave the house? Like, I understand Alice Cooper wasn't there. But like, all of the other parents, like, Uncle Daddy, if you don't want him out Wilden, why didn't you keep him from going out that night when none?

And like all the kids at the teen party. Totally. Where are all of their parents? Totally. Like Uncle Daddy, you are the adult in charge. Like you, if you don't want them out, you should know where they are, you know. Yeah. Ideally make a separate age appropriate event for them to do.

I could be like, let's watch movies or something. But anyway. Yeah. So Dilton Doily is the kid. As a kid, which is hilarious. And he's like, yeah, I'm down, whatever. and so that they can, so that Betty Archie and Reggie can be like the adults escorting him on trick-or-treating. And they get to show Reggie trick-or-treating.

And then when they see the wilding bulldogs, Dalton Doyley is like, I'm wearing a pumpkin on my head. Those guys are smashing pumpkins with baseball bats. I want to go home. So they're like, fine, fourth wheel, you can leave. And then they go to a haunted house. What haunted house was that? the way. Where were they? Was that just an abandoned house? They were at the house where Ethel's

parents were killed. Oh. They were at Ethel's old house. They went to a real haunted house, you fucking idiots. They went to a real murder house. Idiots? You went to a crime scene. Yes, they went to a crime scene. That's why all the glass was smashed. They had the like, I don't know, you must have missed because like right at the beginning. And I will say it was fast. They like glossed over a picture of Ethel and her parents like on the floor. Yeah, I totally missed that. I was like, where are they? But, so they're kind of there to be...

Oh, crap, Zilla. What? I was wrong about before. What? Okay, so what ends up happening? All right, I don't mean to do like a rush of the sexy side of this. That, you know, the whole time, you know, they, like, Betty's like, okay, first we have to go trick or treating and then Delton Doily is done.

And then they're like, we have to go to a graveyard. And... Forgot about the graveyard. And essentially, Reggie and Archie had made a deal because they bought. both wanted to kiss Betty. And they're like, all right, whoever she's like leaning towards by the end of the night, the other one scrams. Yeah.

And it's a nice little gentleman's agreement they had. Gentlemen's agreement. I think that, you know, I understand. Now, they did that. And Reggie realized, like, oh, God, they have a moment in front of Fred's grave. I know. Leave it to Archie to be like, we're having a sexy Halloween night. And then he's like, I'm going to go stand in front of my dad's grave.

I need to go look at my dad's grief. And then Betty's like, oh yeah, maybe we should have come to the graveyard where your dead father is buried. I'm sorry. Yeah, dude. She's like, no, it's fine. Which I actually thought that he was pretty chill about it. And then they go to Ethel's murder house. And when they get there, Reggie's essentially like, look, bro, you won the girl.

Yeah. I'm going to get out of here. Right. You stay with her. So they were in. And so before what I was wrong about is the fact that when, And they, so Betty and Archie kiss. Uh-huh.

And then they unlock their lips and Betty sees out the window the milkman. But the milkman wasn't outside of the Cooper household. He was outside of Ethel's house. Uh-huh. But also, what was he doing there? Yeah. Why was he at the house? But wait a second.

He went to that house after he's already murdered somebody. And later on in the episode, he goes to the house. where he had already murdered somebody. Because they're at Ethel's house where the milkman murdered Ethel's parents. And then later we see that he has been at Brad Rayberry's house where the milkman had murdered Brad Rayberry's. So is he revisiting his crime scenes? But why? But why?

Or is he revisiting crime scenes or is he following Archie and Betty? But if he is following Archie and Betty, then why would he end up back at Brad Rayberry's house? Or did he assume that, like, Ethel was going to be at her old house and he was going to go clean up the job? Maybe he's looking for Ethel. Yeah, maybe he's looking for Ethel. He went back to Ethel's house to find her. And then he goes back to Brad Rayberry's house to find Ethel, who is, of course, staying at Brad Rayberry's house. Dead man's apartment.

It's open. Let anybody stay there. The police don't care. We know that for sure. Oh, crap, Zilla. Wow. Whoa. Okay.

Well, now we've got so much to think of. Even someone in one of their emails, and I, again, appreciate the emails that someone wrote that like, man, it's kind of fun to theorize. It was also from Zinn. Zinn, great. It's a great season, though. It's, I will say it makes theorizing a lot more easy and engaging because we can actually hope to predict something. That's the thing.

That's exactly right. In previous seasons, we would make predictions. It was like trying to predict what a two-year-old would say. It's just like, I don't know. Anything could happen. Like, is this going to happen? Oh, maybe? Like, it felt so pointless.

Whereas in this, now it's so exciting because it's like, no, no, no, this season makes sense. They're obviously doing things on purpose. And there must be a reason why the milkman was at Ethel's parents' house and at Brad Raybury's house. So it does make theories way more fun now that the season is good again. Because also, we didn't even bring up the fact that, like, Jughead had like a menty bee up top of this episode about milk. And everyone who's like, milk's everywhere. Milk's everywhere.

Like he's just like seeing people drink milk and everybody's pouring milk. And it was just like, at first I was like, man, there's a lot of milk consumption in Riverdale. But I also remember it's 1955. They drank milk like with everything. Yeah, they really did drink a lot of milk back then. And, uh, yeah, Juggett is like, there's a scene where he just comes into the kids' like lounge at school. And he's like, everybody stop drinking milk. Stop drinking milk and powdered milk.

Everybody just looks at Juggett. And is like, that crazy guy. But he's right because how does this episode end? that's right, it ends back at Brad Rayberry's house. Are we ready to go there or does there anything we need to wrap up with Archie and Betty? No. She's like, I saw somebody. Just that they kiss.

But I do want to talk about the fact that on his walk home, because Reggie left because he's like, bro, you take her. And so Reggie left and is walking home in his really cute spaceman outfit. And I do also want to say, again, why did Mrs. Andrews make them both costumes if the teens weren't supposed to go out for Halloween. And he's like, man, your mom really made this really great costume. It was like, why is she making you a costume? Yeah, I know. It would have made more sense if there was like an alternate programming for the teens.

Like the teens all have to go to the ghost show. Yeah, right. But no, but something sanctioned. An adult approved one. If there was like a teen dance or something that they were supposed to go to for the adults to approve. But yeah, somehow Molly Ringwald made them very cute little Halloween outfits. And as always we want to say, shout out to the

costume department of Riverdale because they looked great. They looked great. And also how cute was Reggie when they were trick-or-treating and she opened up the door and they all got into like, like actor mode. It was so cute. See, that's a thing. I know you want Jughead in that threesome, but Reggie is looking, I've never, Reggie's never been my groinal. And lately he's, I mean, between him and fangs, I don't know what to do with my, and Titi, I don't know what to do with myself. And there was a very cute moment between Archie and Reggie where they were in Reggie's room dressing up in their costumes.

And Archie's like a Roy Rogers type and Reggie's like a space band guy. And they like both like draw their little guns on each other and point to each other and then they like do it again. And maybe that will be some sort of foreshattering. But in the moment it just feels like little, like they're just little boys playing together. and it was like really sweet. Yeah, it was a nice little moment. And also weirdly having, I know that you shouldn't talk about like ownership over someone else, but I will say for two 16 year olds talking about having a crush on the same girl,

I actually thought it was fairly communicative. Absolutely. That they were like, we obviously both like this girl, but like let her take the lead and then we'll listen to each other. And who she chooses we will listen to. And I was just like, wow, 1995, 16 year old boys, fairly impressed. But I like that from a writing point of view to be like, again, like, even if we're telling stories of the past, it's nice to not always have to recreate all of the awful things. And to be like, what if in this version of 1955, the two boys can talk to each other about valuing what a girl wants? Like, just a nice little touch that is that, yeah, totally. It just made the whole, that whole plot line feel just really nice and not at all gross. And not yucky. It wasn't yucky at all. It was literally just like, let her choose. And I loved that. Yes. But then Reggie gets approached by Julian in the convertible. Their costumes were scary. Like they're Wilden costumes. I was like, those are creepy.

Yeah, they were really creepy. And they're like, get in. And does Reggie just say yes? Like, why does he go with them? He hesitates, but he's just like, all right. And I was so shocked. I was like, don't get into that car. I know. Don't go wild in with these tow boys. I know, I know, but this is like, this is actually what teenagers do. They make pure pressure. Impulsive choices based on pure pressure. And we'll talk about what we find out at the very end in a moment. But what, so the two big punches at the end.

So Archie and Betty come home and they're about to kiss again, which also love, love, love. And someone did remind me, too, that Archie and Betty are also end game because Tabitha was asked, if Archie and Betty were endgame and it just depends on like... Which timeline? In many, like a what timeline they're in. So they're also end game. So I was wrong about that too. It's not just Veronica and Archie that are endgame.

Betty and Archie are also end game. Yeah. And anybody with eyes can see that they're the real end game. I'm sorry. I know. We're such barchies here. I know. We are such barchies.

Veronica just hasn't found somebody who's right for her. yet. No. But right. So they're on the step. Alice is still in her costume comes out. And she's like, how dare you? She interrupts the kiss.

And Betty's like, I thought you weren't my mother anymore. I love that response. I thought you were my mother anymore. I'm going to do whatever the hell I want. But then what happens? Basically, Alice is like, yeah, I'm not. But you still live in this house. And you're not allowed to stay out late.

So just get inside. And meanwhile, which again, I also wanted to say, the reason why I kept saying up top she couldn't decide on a bed so she tried all three when betty came downstairs in her goldilocks outfit and her breasts are all pushed up and she just went she couldn't decide on a bed so she tried all three and i was like my panties just ripped off of my body and in that scenario she had walked down the stairs to three boys the third of whom was dilton doyley so i want dilton to get some action somewhere in this season. You know, there are really only two boys that are Betty's real prospects right now,

but Dilton was the third boy. Frick and frack. There's actually three gut punches in the end of this episode. The first gut punch is when Cheryl and Titi and Midge and Fangs are at Pops, and Cheryl and Titi are holding hands publicly being very, very brash. And Evelyn ever never sees them. Yes. And she has the The first gut punch. The look at her eyes when she sees them is the look of the devil. Of her 40-year-old eyes. That, because again, she is a full-grown adult that we knew was pretending to be a high

schooler. So I'm not quite sure now. Is she still a full-grown adult pretending to be high schooler or in this timeline? Is she just a high schooler? We don't know. We don't know. But she saw. So that was the first gut punch.

I forgot about that. Thank you. The second gut punch is back. at Brad Rayberry's house, where Jughead is on his way back to the apartment. He once again sees the old cat lady. And he drops off Ethel and she was just so expected of maybe

she could get a kiss. I know. Oh my God, the look on her face! Someone kiss Ethel! I know. Someone really needs to kiss Ethel but the old lady is like, oh, I thought you were the milkman. And Jughead's like, what? Why? And she's like, I heard the jingling

of the bottles just recently again. And I thought that he was back just like last time. And Jughead's like, shit, jingle jangle of the milk bottles. And he runs to the apartment where who was dead on the floor? He breaks down the door, which also, how hot was he breaking down that door? It makes he so mad whenever I get turned on by Jughead now. I'm like, God damn it. I know. I know. It's very upsetting. I'm very attracted to him in this season. It's not okay, but it's happening. And so he busts down the door and the milkman is dead on the floor. And Athel is standing there with a knife in her hand.

I was, a loud, was like, what? Do you remember what she says? She says something, but I don't remember what she says, but she's just standing there

with a knife in her hand. And so that's obviously not looking good for Ethel. And so that's punch two. And then punch three is Archie is asleep in bed. Uncle Daddy comes in and says, wake up, there's been a car accident. A whole car full of bulldogs went into the river and Archie sits up. And of course, at first we're just like, oh, Julian and those bastards.

But then who is not in his bed? Reggie is not in his bed. Reggie was in the car. Oh, my God. Reggie was in the car. He can't die. It is so weird to finish an episode of Riverdale and be like, I want to watch more Riverdale. More. I was so, I did. I went, no. Like at the end of the episode, I was so mad. This episode was so good. It went so fast that like I couldn't believe it was over.

It was really good. Maybe it was because I wasn't stoned while I watched it. But I was just like, wow. Oh my God. It is probably my favorite episode of the season so far. And that's saying something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think that this is the musical episode though, but I do appreciate the Rocky, even though, even though, It had nothing to do with the time warp, which is what you would assume. We thought they would do the time warp because we are in a time warp. And it is, you know, one of the more famous songs from Rocky Horror, but they didn't. And that's fine. Maybe it's coming later.

I don't think this was the musical episode either. I don't think a fangs number and a burlesque number makes it the musical episode. No. But it was a musical episode. In the afterlife. We'll be headed for some serious strife. I can't believe it was a squirrel-dun-zipper song. So good.

Now, I want to read, I know that we're at the end of our episode, but there's a couple of theories that we didn't get to that I do want to bring up. Vivian wrote in and says, I do have a theory why we have Julian instead of JJ and no Polly. I could be totally wrong on this. Well, they said Peggy, but I'm pretty sure they mean Polly because in my head, I was like, is there a Peggy? What Peggy am I not thinking of right now?

Gotta be Polly. I could be totally wrong on this, but they're in this sweet. hereafter. Is there anyone else who's in the suite hereafter who made the time jump back? If so, my theory is totally blown. And so it's depending on whether or not they're in the suite hereafter, which is as we, if I remember correctly, kind of like a middle, like a pergatory. Yeah, right. It could just be that simple that they were already dead. But I guess I'm not surprised that we don't have Jason because Jason was already dead. It makes sense. He's in the hereafter. It makes sense that we don't have Polly. Polly was already dead. But what's weird about

Polly. But so is Hal. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Good question. But Hal wasn't in the sweet here after probably because he's not, he wouldn't go to heaven. He would go to hell. I also want to shout out, Taint your mom, Oren, who wrote in because you made MJ and I both laugh so hard. They said, I've started watching the seventh season, and I'm completely on board with your shitting on Archie's Uncle Daddy. I thought, oh, no, everyone on this show is so attractive in one way or another, but Uncle Daddy is an old boot. He looks like a shittier drawing of the villain from Darzan, Clayton with half of the charisma. Let's hope Uncle Daddy dies in a fire that no one can save him from because there's no fire department. Let's hope his burns can't be cured like Penelope Blossoms.

Remember how burned Penelope Blossom was, by the way? God, I forgot about that, Horan. And I just want to say thank you so much for saying that he looks like an old boot. I think it's so funny. It's so good. Every time I see him, I'm like, why are you here? Get out of here. Get out of here.

And why is Julie in there? Unless, if the theory is that anyone in the sweet here after can't come back, but anyone in hell can come back. We remember Julian was like the third... Usurped. ...twin, the third triplet who didn't make it out of... Who didn't make it? He didn't even make it out of the womb, I think.

So, did that fetus die and go to hell? And that's why Julian is able to come back. Yikes. Right? Where is Chase? Because he's evil. He's obviously evil. I mean, he is evil.

It was for the best he wasn't born, but still, ooh. I don't think most fetuses go to hell, but I think Julian Blossom probably does. And so maybe that's why we have Julian and not Jason. I'm just spitball. I love the spitballs. You know I live for it. And I live for Riverdale. Thank you guys so much for joining us on this week's episode of Riverdale Roundup.

And thank you again for your theories and just for your rants into the void. If we don't bring it up, I still want you to know we are reading them and enjoying them and nodding along going, yes. Yes. Yes. We're with you. Yes. And so it doesn't fall upon deaf eyes over here at Riverdale Roundup. And thank you so much, MJ, for watching this amazing episode today.

And I feel great. And I can't wait. We're going to be back next week. We'll be a couple days later than usual. But don't worry, we'll be out on Monday. And it's going to be a gas, as they say. They keep saying it's going to be a gas. It is going to be a gas.

Thank you, Jackie. This is really a great, great pleasure. Yes. Love you guys so much. We'll talk to you next week. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors.

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