Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Ch. 79: Get Thee to an Orphanage

Episode Date: February 5, 2021

We recap the last pre-time jump episode, Chapter 79: Graduation.Need more hot goss? Support us on our Patreon page and get weekly bonus Patreon-exclusive content! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastIntro song by Green Dreams Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

we spend together. That is not the song that Archie sings. Missed opportunity. That is the graduation song. That is the graduation song. What they're thinking over here with time of your life, which I also love. I do. I love it and I will.

I scream towards Molly about this already. That I called that he was going to sing the Green Day song. The second they said song, I was like, He's going to sing the Green Day song, which was my graduation year's song. But again, that was in 2005. Have no other songs come out between then? But this is your forever reminder that Riverdale is for people our age and not for young people. A hundred percent.

It is for us. It's not for anybody else. Isn't that great? We took it away from the children. We've taken this show and they. can't have it back. And oh, daddy FP, what are we going to do without him? I was so upset throughout this entire episode because I knew that it was Ski Orch's last episode. And I was so upset through the entire episode because I knew that everything was about to change. And I'm not ready for that.

Even though the show has, I've spent the last at least year and a half just complaining about how bad the show is. I don't want anything to change. I don't like change. And I'm scared of change. I'm scared of it. I'm scared of it. And now we are sending FP off. Number one, jelly bean probably should be going to juvie. Yeah, no consequences whatsoever for. And I mean, she didn't kill anybody. So no. So maybe not, I guess, or at least some sort of like getting, some sort of community service or therapy or something.

Any kind of non-carceral intervention for the child who organized with like 15 other children making like fake snuff films terrorizing the town and like I guess breaking into her own house doesn't count as breaking in but that other kid Ricky also was breaking in.

I mean if you wanted to charge those children with something you could and not that they should. but something should happen besides Skidolrick being like, uh, Jelly Bean, uh, hop at my side car.

I'm going to drive you. Going on the road. Across the country to Toledo. So she's going back to Toledo. Also back to bad mom. How is bad mom to help? Gladys. Go take her to bad mom.

The whole reason she came to live with Jughead and FP was because her mom was like a shady, you know, drug dealer, criminal, violent criminal who kills people. And they were like, this is not a hospitable environment for a child. And then admittedly, Jughead was right. At one point, Jughead was like, I was the one who brought her here and then I ignored her. And I was like, yes, you did, Jughead.

You completely ignored her. And now they're just going to take her back to Gladys, who, as far as we know, like, literally lives in a parking lot, like overseeing gangs of roving young men who sell drugs. Remember she like murdered the fuck out of what was penny bosoms, whatever her name was in the garage? Yeah. She murdered her after torturing her. Did she like cut off her ears? I don't remember.

I don't exactly remember. I know it was something. Yeah. Something Gladys Jones is not good. Although yes, I want to have sex with her and yes, I want to be her. But she's not a good influence. Also, did you notice that in the side cart, jelly bean, was wearing, which also, oh, FP back in that fucking serpent's jacket, good Christ, made me

realized how much I miss FP. I miss Bad Daddy FP. And so how did Bad Daddy FP, who was still the sheriff, become not the sheriff anymore? He pulled out other hot daddy, hot daddy Sheriff Keller, which we've only ever referred to him as Sheriff Keller, even though he hasn't been a sheriff in two seasons and he woke up Marc Consuelos in the middle of the night and said, hey, mayor, because in case you forgot, Hiram Lodge is still the mayor of Riverdale. Your weekly reminder that Hiram Lodge is still the mayor of Riverdale. And I made it every week. I always forget.

I remind you me because he's still being a vigilantee at night. And he asked him to make Sheriff Keller the sheriff again. Bam. So now Bad Daddy is back. And now Bad Daddy is gone immediately with Jelly Bean. And Jelly Bean had on what looked like a serpent's jacket. But it wasn't. And on the top of her back patch, it said, Toledo.

Is there a faction of serpents in Toledo? Well, isn't that essentially what Gladys oversees is like the sassy wife offshoot of the serpents? I mean, it's not, there was never. an explicit connection, but when she came back into town, she kind of became like the de facto boss of the serpent. So I kind of have always viewed that as like a sister branch, you know? I'm such a dumb. Yes, you are completely right.

And it is a tea with a snake wrapped around it. And now I want that. They don't sell the backpatches, though. They don't sell the backpatches. You can't buy them. I'm immediately looking for it because this is my life. Remember the pretty poisons? there so much was wrapped up in this episode and so much is being thrown away throwing so much of it in the garbage as can be seen into a time capsule and buried in the ground

time capsule you are so right they threw it into the time capsule all of the not all of them only 10% of the plot lines that they are not going to deal with anymore i'm assuming they put into the time capsule because of the beginning of the episode they opened a time capsule from 75 years ago when inside of it was like a pops menu and inside of it was a picture of these guys going to the army and that's why you know what can we just say archie should be enlisted i think that that is the best place for him to be you said should yeah he's tough he's loyal he's got a good heart i think that i think that he's tough he's loyal he's got a good heart i think that that is really, I think that that, I believe that that will be great for him. He doesn't want to go back to school. He wasn't looking into college too hard. And he doesn't want to stay in Riverdale. However, you don't enlist at 5 p.m. one day and get on a bus to the army the following morning. That is not how it works. My favorite thing about this entire plot line. Right.

So Archie sees this picture of four guys, four high school kids about to go off to World War II, which is not, I mean, perhaps it's inspiring, but it's also like tragic. But he doesn't experience that. He sees it and he's like, oh, yeah, I would be noble too. Right. Meanwhile, we just had like a whole year of him being like, do I want to join the Naval Academy or don't I? and now he sees this picture of guys going off to what was certainly, if not their deaths, their lifelong traumas of World War II. And he is like, oh, I want that too.

And so he signs up and then, sorry, not to fast forward too much, but when he tells his friends, the extremely vague, there's a war on response from Veronica. Don't you know there's a war on? And I was just like, there is, of course, a war on, right? The United States is still in Afghanistan. but I also just was so confused because I was like, are you talking about Afghanistan? Are you talking about like, is this, are we,

are we to imagine that this is more like kind of like early 2000s where there was like a more active war on in Iraq and Afghanistan? Or like there is a war on, but there's kind of always wars going. Like I was just so, there's a war on. I was like, this sentence is doing so much lifting for the, for creating stakes. I mean, the stakes are just, he's in the, Army, those are stakes.

Do you know there's a war on don't speak any more about whatever you're talking about, but just put it out there to create the stakes. Perfect Riverdale move. Does Veronica know anything about the military action of the United States? I'm going to go ahead and say no. But I do think that I understand why that they would be so confused about him choosing last minute to immediately make this. And also, we're not going to have to deal with any of it. Because once the time jump happens, we're not going to have to see him in the army. We're not

going to have to, we're just going to have to hear about his trauma. We're going to have to deal with it because he's going to come back and he's going to be a veteran of whatever real or fictional war they're going to describe. And either way, I don't, I don't know if I want Riverdale to try to incorporate like the trauma of like the actual like never ending war is going on right now. and I certainly don't want them to make up their own war. But Archie is going to come back next episode, being a war veteran. And I don't trust it in Riverdale's hands. There are so many things of gravity.

I do not trust in Riverdale's hands. Luke Perry's death is one of them. I think it is inappropriate that they are using Luke, that they continue to use Luke Perry's real life, tragic death, to create additional plot lines in Riverdale. I think that they should have dealt with it, Fred Andrews has died. It is very sad.

We have our memorial episode to Fred Andrews. And then let's not continue to drag the ghost of Luke Perry. Every episode. Every episode. Can you imagine you are Luke Perry. You are an actor. You have had, you kind of are famous for this role of 902.1. When you were young, you die a tragic death.

And now you will live forever in the episodes of Archie's fucking terrible. plot lines in Riverdale. Honestly, this episode, the more I think about it, it's great. This is a great episode. It does play into, though. Molly brought up a great point to me earlier. What year is it then? So are we going to keep it nebulous?

It's the most important question we've ever asked on Riverdale Roundup. What year is it? What year is it? Is it currently 2021? Because it sure seems like it is currently the present day. So next week, when we come back and at seven years in the future, is it going to be 2028? Are they going to have different phones? Is there going to be like slightly, is it like if you've ever read Super Sad True Love Story,

like a kind of not too distant future, but like everything's a little different because of course everything will be a little different in eight years? Or is it currently 2014 and next week it's going to be 2021? How do you do a seven year time jump? I don't know. When it was, of course, the answer is going to be that it's 2021 this week and it's going to be 2021 next week. Nothing will change. But we're just to assume, we're just to accept that there's been a seven-year time job,

but there's going to be no external change in the circumstances. Because of course there's that. Because we don't know what 20-28 is going to be like, this is why you don't do a seven-year time job. Also, I thought it was supposed to be a five-year time job. It was supposed to be a five-year time job, but now it's seven. Now it's seven and something's going to bring them back, Molly. Something is going to bring them back to Riverdale. And I'm just so excited.

I'm so excited with whatever the hell is going to be because you've got to think, whether it's in the future or whether it's in the present or is it like you brought up, is it the early 1960s according to the Army bus that picked up Archie on the side of the road of a cornfield? Army buses from the 1960 just drive around America, picking people up on the side of the road. And they are inexplicably buses from the 1950s or 60s? Yes. And those buses will stop on the side of the road for you to say goodbye to your girl and your friends. Because he, can you imagine?

That's the first thing Jeff said, he's like, man, imagine how much the dudes on the bus that were on the army bus with him that they pulled over the side of the road so he could go say goodbye to his friends and his girlfriend, they're going to beat the shit out of him. The second they go, they're going to see that he's weak,

which is not a weakness, but I imagine in an agro world could be seened as such. And they're going to beat the shit out of him. I don't know what year it is. But this is not going to happen, but man, wouldn't it be great if they brought in a sci-fi element

of the future where they have like future phones and they have that kind of stuff and they bring in that element of making up other parts of what will be a part of our society in seven years because if we already know what kind of drugs live in Riverdale what's going to happen in the future in Riverdale. Yeah again things I don't trust in the hands of Riverdale are like a portrayal of the not too distant future like it can be done there's I love like dystopies dystopian like not you know kind of two weeks into the future like like like again super sad true love story is like one of my favorites i read that in 2011 and it turned out to predict like fucking everything live streaming twitter occupy wall street like all of that so like it's cool like that can be

like a slightly it's just that it's not going to be done because it's just something that riverdale is not going to think about because they're just doing a seven year time dump for no fucking reason and they're not going to justify it i don't think but it just creates It's a little logic problem to have a seven-year time jump. Of course, they're all going to look the same, though they might have different haircuts. It's going to be the same. Like, everything's going to be the same. But they'll just be like, oh, conveniently.

It's just so, it's a writer. It's just so frustrating. It's like a writing device. It's just so lazy. I love it. I love it, though. But it's a whole new world because we know as people in the real world that T.T. was actually pregnant in that episode.

Because in the time jump, she will be pregnant because she was pregnant in real life. Really? So they included that in the storyline. And I don't know how and I don't know why, but obviously that will mean that she will be not, I'm assuming, with Cheryl anymore. But who knows? Unless they're going to continue the line of blossoms. So I don't know what's going to happen with T.T. in the future and we know that Ronnie's going to come back with a husband that is not Archie

that everybody's going to hate and we know that. But Hiram, I guess then they don't have to worry about Hiram being the mayor anymore, right? Because I think then he won't be the mayor at that point. Right. There are, I mean, I just have so many questions. But how is it that? I'm so, I'm excited. So I'm sorry to be all over the place in the timeline.

But at the very end, Jughead says that we, We see a one year forward flashback of Jughead at pop because they all decided. Yes. Right. After singing, after Archie saying at time of your life. Archie Andrews, who did not graduate high school, who was still allowed to walk with all of his friends, he opened up the diploma and he goes, oh, because there was no diploma. in it because he didn't graduate, but also was still asked

to sing the graduation song? Principal Weatherby is very traumatized and I thought that was nice of Principal Weatherby to include Archie, although of course it just made Archie feel worse, thus him going to the standing Army recruitment table in the halls on graduation day. And so then, right, that night,

they're all hanging out on the bleachers, drinking, I think, beer. And they're like, let's make a pact that we meet at Pops this night, a year from now and every year after that. And they're all like, yeah. And I love this. This happens in every movie about graduation. So it's not just Riverdale, but I love the idea that you graduate. And then the next day, you never see anybody else again.

Ever again. You talk to them. Usually you stay in town for three more months before you go off to come. college if you are. And also, usually you, your parents continue to live in that town. And so you continue to have a relationship with the town. And so that is my question about when we see at the end a flash forward to one year later, Jughead goes to pops. Uh-oh, nobody else has come. And he says, it would be another six years till I see my friends. And again, of course, at Driverdale, they have to set up the stakes. But all of their parents still live there. So how is it that they went seven years,

graduate the next day, all of them leave, and then they go seven years without returning to see their parents? You text each other at least. That was the first thing Jeff said. He's like, wouldn't you have been like, hey, bras, we still meeting next week? Like, just sent out a text. Yeah. Instead you sit.

But also, think about this. So Jugget had to fly back from Iowa to sit in a town where he's the only one that doesn't have any family in Riverdale anymore. He doesn't like because his dad's not there. Right. His sister's not there. His mom's not there. Right, right.

Where is he going to go? Yeah. Jughead is. What is going to happen? And he, but of course he's the writer. He's the sentimental one. So it makes sense that he is the one who held the date. But we don't know what went on with everybody else.

A lot will have gone on over the course of the seven years that prevented them from keeping the dates with each other. You're right. And also, right. So the whole, before we were out of time, we have to make sure that we talk extensive. about the entire what could have been a contributing factor to them not all meeting up, which was the big old secret of Betty and Archie kissing coming out. And it seems to have perhaps eroded some of the trust betwixt the four of them, even though this was a moment where I was like, at first I was like,

is Riverdale about to handle this really well? because it was kind of cool because Betty and Archie kissed, right? And so then what happens first? Betty, Veronica and Archie had told each other, right, from the last day that happened last week. And then when Betty finds out that Veronica knows or whatever, and then they basically, I thought it was cool

because she tells Jughead and then Jughead and her like, fuck. and then she goes to Veronica. Which, thank God, I have been missing teen sex in my life. Especially with getting blue-balled, watching Twilight. And I've got true blood to fix that, but still there are adults. And I'm looking for that insatiable adults as teenagers having sex. And I finally got a little bit of it this episode. Yeah.

And it was great. And I liked it because my whole thing is like, oh, my God, don't torpedo both of your relationships and your friendship over this kiss that was like essentially an experimental, like emotional crush. Just to see. Single kiss. Right. Yeah.

It was like, I understand how it could be hurtful, but like not worth torpedoing everything. And so I thought it was cool that they fucked right afterwards. But then I wasn't sure if it turned out to be like a like a this is over fuck or what. Because then, but then Veronica and what, Betty went to comfort Veronica about the fact that Archie was going off to the army. And so she was like, I can't even be mad at you right now because I'm too upset about Archie. And so then they had to be like good friends to each other. And then Archie. Yeah. Like it was actually. And then Archie was like, Jugg, I got to tell you something. And Junkett was like, I already know. And then they were cool too. And I was like, this is nice. This is Riverdale doing something good where it's like, no, we shouldn't have such a like extremely conservative view of fidelity where this one kind of exploratory kiss should torpedo everything and torpedo your relationship. You should. You should. all still be cool with each other and I was excited about it. However, then in Jughead's writer voiceover, it sounded like he was like, and then we all just kind of grew apart. And I couldn't tell if it was like, did you all grow apart because you're all like massive trauma

survivors and you just graduated high school and you're all just kind of going to like try to move away from all of that? Or did you go apart because of the kiss? It was a little bit vague in terms of what happened that they all didn't don't talk for seven years. Right. And can I just say that so Jughead also put into the time capsule his hat and him sitting on that bench talking to Archie, I felt a little spark again for him. I haven't felt a spark for Jughead in a couple of years. I was wondering. Yeah, I was, I felt a spark. I don't usually feel a spark for Jughead. I all I can think about it is the fact that he was in Big Daddy, but I did feel a little bit of a spark slash like fashion envy. It's like with Jughead, I can't tell if it's like I want to kiss him

or I just want to like dress like him and have his style. But I really liked his short sleeve shirt with suspenders look in this episode. I liked it. My loins are perked and back. It makes me very excited because I was sad because my loins definitely. frowned at remembering that FP was leaving. Oh, God, sorry again. Him and the goddamn serpents jacket. Good Lord. I'm so upset because then when they said goodbye,

when he said goodbye to Alice Cooper, I was like, man, we didn't even get to see them fucking up. It's not fair. I know. I know. That was such a great relationship that they totally took all the steam out of as soon as they moved in together. and I don't think that's fair.

No, and is, but also what's going to happen with Cheryl? What is going to happen? Is she going to become a bad person? Like, for real this time? Because Mommy that lives in the walls came to see her graduate by hiding in the bushes. And she decided she's going to turn herself in. And I imagine she will be out of prison in seven years. She's going to turn herself in because now her baby.

We is all grown up, and Cheryl is determined to rebuild Thornhill and essentially become, she wants to change the name of the Blossom family to mean something positive. But do you think she's going to be able to do that? That's a good question. If Cheryl becomes bad, I love that. I think that's really fun. Because one of them got to be bad. We're going to need a new villain. I know.

because all of the villains have been murdered by Hiram Lodge. Yeah, I mean, we're going to have to have a whole. It's such an interesting choice to essentially in the middle of a season, which again, isn't their fault because it's pandemic. Gideon was so confused. He was like, I was like, so all this was supposed to happen last season. He was like, what? I was like, yeah, time jump in three episodes into a season.

There's going to be a time jump. But what they're essentially doing is giving a completely blank slate in terms of plots. They have, which I guess actually is kind of interesting. Isn't that exciting? Yeah, it is kind of interesting when you think about it. You're like, okay, we've developed these characters who we really like.

They have literally exhausted all potential plotlines in this current timeline and this current reality. And so let's just keep the same characters, but wipe everything else away and then put them in a different timeline with a different set of storylines, which actually now, as I'm saying, it is actually really awesome. It's got to be exciting for all of the corners that these writers have written themselves into that now. Because if you think about it, they were supposed to have a crossover with Sabrina. Sabrina's now done.

They were supposed to have a crossover with Katie Keene. Katie Keene is now done. So all of the things that I imagine they were working towards, they probably can't do anymore. Right. So they're going to have to figure something else out. but then what is it going to be? I mean, I think that it was in the den of geek article they threw out, will it be zombies?

What is going to be a big enough mystery that everyone comes back to solve it? Right, because what brings them all back together is a mystery, and I do love that. I mean, right, is it just going to be another serial killer? Because they clearly ran out of steam on that. Literally the last episode, there was a new serial killer, and that was just a one episode plotline. Like, nobody cares. cared. So yeah, I mean, you know, I'm going to try to, I do feel a lot of grief to leave this timeline, even though this timeline has been trash for a while. So I should let go of that grief,

name it, and then let it go. And go into next week with some optimism, because we do have a set of very good characters. They are all very, very good characters. And so perhaps the writers of Riverdale are sleeping easier now because they've gotten out of the prison that they wrote themselves into. Yes. I love, but it's so smart! I'm such a dumb show to do it! I love it! You're out and then they pull you back in.

God damn it, Riverdale! Oh, I need the teat. I need and I yearn for its teat and I'm so excited that it's back! Wow, it's going to be a whole new... It's like we're literally starting anew. Yeah. And is Penelope Blossom going to be the bad one? Because again, she'll be out of prison by then.

And she's going to have a pretty good time in prison. But then you think, Hiram Lodge is doing her favor because she said that she was going to, she's going to confess to, you know, Lord even knows what she's going to confess to. She's got, she's done a lot. Remember, she just killed her entire family last episode? When you said confess, I was frantically in my brain trying to think back to what she did confess to. And I know there's many things. But yeah, she did. It's why she lives in the walls.

Remember, she killed somebody. She killed. Or she poisoned somebody. She poisoned. Well, she poisoned her husband. And she poisoned her husband's twin evil brother. And she poisoned, did she poison that alliterative, what's the little boy scout? His dad or him?

She would definitely poison. Something like that. Doolittle? I almost said Doolie. Doolie, yes, Doolton. There's Dilton. There's so many characters. I don't remember.

Oh, we didn't even talk about all the boys that sleep under the boxing ring. Because I forgot to bring this up before. When they were talking about Jelly Bean and what the cohorts helped her. But where are all the boys that help Jelly Bean? they all sneak into Archie's boxing ring and sleep under the ring every night. What's going to happen to all those lost boys? I will forever love Riverdale's commitment to the idea that there are just hundreds of unaccompanied children living in the woods, living in the community centers. That has happened in every single season.

Just tracts of lost boys. And I like it because it is just so in the realm of like Peter Pan that that you can just have a town that has just just a hundred. A small town that has just hundreds of children who live outside without any adults. And it doesn't really shape the town. But the town just kind of tolerates it. Yep. Yep. They just got rabid boys everywhere.

And they're always getting into trouble or trying to. shiv somebody or trying, or giving the multiple vigilantes of Riverdale someone to beat up, even though they are all children, children too. Not even like, oh, well, they're older teenagers. They're all like 11. Yeah. Get thee to an orphanage. Yeah.

But we can't remember what happens to the last orphanage in Riverdale. The nuns were dosing all of the orphans to sell them to the cold. Yeah. So what is in our future, Molly? I don't know what our future in Riverdale holds. I think that it's going to be something nuts. Right. Does it have something to do with some sort of government conspiracy?

Because Riverdale will still be a cursed town, and it will still be a town with this history of, you know, murders and orphans and serial killers, you know, running rampant. And so even though we now have... the potential for a lot of new storylines, there is, the ground that has been laid does point to, you know, serial killers and orphans. But what if it gets sci-fi?

I'm holding out on a hero over here. I'm, I want it to get weird. Yeah. I want some sort of alien aspect. I want, because like you think about it, they danced with it, with the Gargoyle King. They danced with all of that, those elements that they brought in that they never referred to ever again. It can't just be another drug.

Riverdale Riders hear us. It can't be something that has already happened. We need something new. Please, please. If you're going to do a serial killer, please make it some real new shit with serial killers. Yeah. Because you have explored the depths of serial killer plotlines, Riverdale Riders.

I congratulate you for the depths that you have found. There are whole roads that nary a person has traveled down before that you took us on, Riverdale Riders. However, let us find a road anew in this new day that begins next week. So I'm excited. And I do just need to make mention the fact that even though Archie did so poorly, obviously his dad was killed, there he was going through a lot this season, and he wasn't able to finish. high school, we got to give accolades to Betty Cooper, who was working as FBI, not FBI, with her brother, not brother, who ended up being another serial killer.

So that's serial killer number two in her family, that she was dealing with all of this while going against, like, trying to figure out the stone wall prep mystery, and if her boyfriend was dead. and she was still the valedictorian of her class. I don't know if that means that everybody else in Riverdale is dumb, or if Betty is her serial killer genes really took her up and over and beyond. Because what she's going to come back is like FBI, right? She's going to be 22 and in the FBI.

Yes, you're totally right. And I also want to say that I think that her graduation speech was good. She was like, listen, everybody. we've lived through just like endless murder. It's crazy as seniors in high school, what we have lived through, we are all traumatized. Of course the jelly bean generation is traumatized too

because they're 11 and they have literally known nothing but endless murder of their peers for years. And so let us all acknowledge. And I thought that that was nice because it was Riverdale being like, yeah, this is fucked up. Everything that just happened was fucked up. So good job, Betty. Yes.

It was great. And Den of Geek did point out again that Penelope, we were able to hear Penelope call Cheryl Nightmare Child one more time in this episode. And I love how they refer to each other. I love their relationship. I think, you know what, they've overcome a lot. And I feel like we don't give them props as often as we should. Because Penelope Blossom does a lot for her daughter, even though she also puts her in a very bad, many, many situations with all

of her rampant poisoning. Yeah. But I love Penelope Blossom. Me too. I love Penelope. I love Cheryl. I love their relationship. I love the way they, I love the offhanded way in which she calls her nightmare child.

It is, yeah, that is truly, I love Cheryl so much. Just I cannot speak enough about what a good character Cheryl is. No, I'm renewed. I have, I didn't know I could feel this renewed from this episode because I was just like, at this point, we're all. just waiting for the time jump. Right. And what a great way.

Riverdale, the people, the PR, people, everything at Riverdale. So smart that it was supposed to be a surprise at the end of last season that there was going to be a time jump, which is why when Holden told us in page seven that it was still just a blind item because there was just sneaking suspicion.

So what did Riverdale do? They took it, they ran with it. And they're like, no, everybody talked about the time jump. That even in the promos, it has been a countdown to the time jump. that they went so far the other way from trying to keep it a secret. I'm like, okay, all right, not a secret anymore. We're going to make it.

The number one thing you think about from the second you wake up to the second you go to sleep. And you know what? They did a great job. They did. Yeah. I'm so curious. I'm so mad that I have to wait a week. Because the next episode is coming out next week, right?

I think so. They're not taking one of their little midwinter recesses, are they? I'll die. I can't. I need more of it. No, February 10th. February 10th. Okay, good.

So it'll be like a little pre-birthday gift to you, Molly. And you're welcome. That's why I got you for your birthday. I got the time jump episode of Riverdale done for you in time. That is fantastic. All I want for my birthday is a seven-year time jump of Riverdale and like just an increased vaccine supply around the country. So let's get those two things.

That would be great. And you know what? Also, Mazel Riverdale. Oh, who knows? Time jump. Are they going to write in a pandemic? Is that going to be a part of anything? Will it have happened?

It's not. I don't want it. No, I don't want them to, unless they just do like a hilarious flashback. Sure. That is like one mention of like, remember then the pandemic happened, but we could do without it.

Oh, God. I just am looking at the still of the trailer for next week because the episode's name is Purgatorio. And, um, the look on your face. The look on your face. I'm just dead. Just like, okay.

And Archie is in his warmans costume. I'm excited. That's what I'm calling it. The warmness costume. He's going to be wearing his warmans costume for the entire season. He is coming. This still is him walking into pops with the back, with the like,

from the duffel bag from the army. So he's coming from Army to Pops. And we didn't even make mention of the fact that we really had to talk this out. Veronica Veronica's family owns Pops because Pop

owed Hiram Lodge money. Yes. Thank you. They stole it out from under him. They stole it from him. And then the 17-year-old girl who owns it again gifts it back to Gives it back. I'm giving it back to you.

I'm giving it back to you. Typical Veronica. I literally was complicit in the theft of all you have from you because daddy did it. And then I benefited from it. Even though I said I didn't like daddy for it, I benefited from it. And now I'll give it back to you. And I want you to say thank you and say what a good thing I've just done. It's his.

It's his. It's his. It's been his the whole time. just made a fuck ton of money and are probably keeping that. And didn't give him any. The poor man that works for nothing. The poor, his name is on the goddamn sign, Veronica. It's his, Veronica.

Yes, thank you for bringing that up. That made me so mad. So upset. I stole this from you and now I'm giving it back to you. And he's like, thanks. She should be heralded. Veronica. I'm so excited.

All right, we got to stop the episode. But I just want you guys to feel my energy. I feel positive about it. And I can't wait to scream about it in one week's time. Thank you for joining us on this. The last high school episode of Riverdale that we will be talking about. All right, Pete. Boom to boom, boom.

I'm just so glad we got to watch Archie sing again. Because I was hoping we got to see him sing one more. Time. Do you think that they're going to have that time capsule for like seven years? Do you think they're going to open it in the next season? They better. It's like Chekhov's gun. You can't do a time capsule and then not open it in the same season. We need it. We need to have it. We need, we're going to need something in there. Maybe she needs the bobby pin. Maybe there's a piece of evidence in there. Oh my God. What could the evidence be? I don't know. They put the things they put in are so dumb. It's like no one else in Riverdale High matters.

But those guys, Jugheads had had, what historical significance is that? also wash it, you dirty boy. Can you imagine what that hat smells like? You know he never washed it. And you know he doesn't wash his hair very often. To his credit, and we do see this at the end, is that he's often street homeless. And he ends up street homeless again at the end. He does.

That he does. I love you guys so much. And we will be here and screaming next week. Come join us, won't you? Bye. This show is made. possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors.

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