Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Ch. 82: TruckerBoy69

Episode Date: February 26, 2021

We're all aboard the bang train express as we recap Ch. 82: Back to SchoolNeed more hot goss? Support us on our Patreon page and get weekly bonus Patreon-exclusive content! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastIntro song by Green Dreams Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

for this episode of Riverdale this week because I was like, when am I going to watch Veronica Gecko sing shallow? When is she going to sing it? Oh, I hope it's this week. And it was this week. Ding, ding, ding. And don't worry, Chadwick joined in with her. What a weird scene. And can I, and we're, Molly and I were just talking. So much happened in this episode. I barely can't keep, I just watched it. And I can barely keep it straight. I watched it. I watched it. I was like paying attention.

I watched it. I even rewound at one part because Gidea was having a conversation and I couldn't give it my full attention. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to rewind it. I don't even know how to rewind on the Xbox that I have to use to watch the CW now because it's not even easy to watch anymore. But I've rewound it and I watched parts of it again.

I read a recap. happen. And I really don't know what the fuck happened, but I do know that Veronica and Chadwick sang shallow. And I do know that it was like oddly lackluster for a Riverdale musical number. I think that they usually bring more to the stage, if you will. They do usually bring more to the stage. It was really boring. And I fucking love the song shallow in the sense that it is a sign that is always hilarious. It's just I think any, I think it's just one of those songs that it's like Is it the line in and hard keeping it so hardcore?

Is it that line? I'm not quite sure why I have the like deeply ironic love of Shallow that I have. I think it is because it played while I was having a C-section. And I thought that that was so funny. But so it's just always going to be a funny song to me. It was funny before that though. And then it played while I was having a C-section and then I thought it was even funnier. And so I was very excited when Shallow started.

I was like, oh, yeah, give me a big old, you know, Le Bonnui musical number for shallow. And it was just like an actual shitty karaoke bar night. It was boring. They skipped out on the big part of it. I'm off the team. I was like, we and talk about blue bowls. It was like singing the rest of the song.

You're right. They skipped that part, but they did not skip the, uh, uh, uh, uh, even though Veronica does not have the pipe. for it. I'm sorry. It is, she has a beautiful voice, but that is a power part of the song. It is a simple part of the song,

but Lady Gaga brings the power that needs it and so you have feeling to in it. Yeah, you can't just do like, ah, ah, ah, ah, which is the whole thing was just like, it was like a, how are you going to sing shallow and not be like on your knees, you know, screaming power balance style by the end of it. Yeah.

I mean, I really did. I felt such, I was like, I had to, I had to shallow come. And it was very difficult for me. I did listen to the song afterwards. But this episode has so much more than just the shallow. Yeah, that was not even in the top five moments, I think. Oh, my God, Molly. The Titanic Fuck Moment.

Can we give a hell yeah to a Titanic fuck moment? We knew that we weren't going to see Betty and Archie. Fuck again. Can I just say, I think I'm a like it. I think I love them together. I think I love it. I think I love it too. It just makes so much sense.

And it's like there really are establishing like a satisfying fuck buddy relationship. Despite the what is, you know, the Riverdale realism of, you know, Betty's sister is literally missing. And she's like, hey, Arch, I could use it. distraction. Like, work that easy if you have like a personal tragedy happening to just bang it out. Just bang it out. But I guess that's kind of what Riverdale is. They're always going through many personal tragedies. And yeah, but I love they just show up at each other's houses and they're like, ooh, I can't I live with Jughead. Ooh, I can't I live at home. My mom. It's just like friends with

Christmas. I love. Yeah. Yeah. I'm loving it. I love the like the arrested development. of being in your early 20s and being back home of like, I'm an adult, but I can't act like an adult, which is what I think should be the tagline of this season of Riverdale, because I think that they were acting more like adults in high school than they are now as 25-year-olds. 100%. And it's another one of the weird things about this season that is really working for me, like the cognitive dissonance of them before they were adult actors. acting like characters of teenagers who the characters were acting like adults. And it didn't make sense because it's like us adult watchers.

Like we want to watch them have sex. They're drinking like cocktails and bars with their parents. Like, you know, there's like all these things that don't make sense when they're teenagers. Now they're still 25 year old actors, probably even older. And now they are 25 year old characters and we still, adult watchers still want to watch them have sex. still want to watch them, you know, drain cocktails and bars. And so it's just,

it just works. It just is what we've actually been wanting the whole time. Which is why I'm all aboard the fuck train express. Especially banging at your high school. I got to say it's one of those things I would like to check off my bucket list as an adult. But I think you can definitely get arrested. Yeah. I think it's,

I was just thinking of the same thing. I was like, oh, I would do that. But then I think it's one of those things where you're not supposed to do certain things on school grounds. It becomes a bigger crime if you do it. Yeah. Even though, so they banged. So, Betty is the shop teacher. Also, why?

Like, when did that happen? Betty's the shop teacher now. I will say she looks really hot in that mechanics jump. suit. That's why. But like, did they, did they provide any setup for that? No. Okay. Well, but Daddy, Black Hood, Daddy did teach her stuff about cars because we have watched Betty carjack multiple car, right? Yeah. Hasn't she done things with cars in the past? She has done things with cars in the past. I just didn't remember until this episode that she had gotten a job in the high school also. Like, All of them. Oh, yeah, all of them working at the high school.

We anticipated that that would happen. We talked about that last episode, but they just, they just jump. I appreciate when they're just like, we're not even going to set up this. You don't need any exposition. She's the fucking shop teacher now. We're not going to tell you why. It just happened. Thank you, Riverdale. We don't need that kind of bullshit in our lives. Just jump right into the meat of it. I'm so glad that teachers work very hard to have the job that they have and not get paid enough. But don't worry, we can just scrounge up youngs out on the street. Give him a book. He's written one.

He can teach English. That's all you need. Well, that goes back to, and I'm like, my role this Riverdale Roundup season is to be the policy person. But the reason they did provide a little bit of exposition for that. When last week they were like, oh, if we're not a public school anymore because we don't have any public funding. and Cheryl is essentially just funding them as a private school now, then they can hire teachers that don't have, you know, degrees or certifications or background checks or anything like that. Scrounge you up.

Just, you don't hang out the white worm. Any stragglers that don't have a place to go, make them a teacher. It's that easy to do. Anybody can be a teacher. But anybody can also do a Doritos commercial in the middle of their acting scene, big ups to Hiram Lodge. That scene when he and Ruffian Reggie are talking about them starting a football team or him updating him. Okay, long story short.

Stonewall Prep has a football team. They are, oh my God, the meme. Molly, the meme you made. The Friday night lights. It made me immediately think of this. It's like, okay, so now Stonewall Prep. is the team that everyone roots for. So what's going to happen to Riverdale and the Bulldogs?

Well, they don't exist anymore because the town doesn't exist anymore. So what's going to happen? Archie's going to fight ballfire with ballfire. Because while Archie and Betty were making Titanic fuck in a car, they also stopped a literal dumpster fire from inside of the school. And when Waldo, the president of Riverdale High School, yeah, I said president, I'm sticking with the word. When he asked Archie, why were you at the school so late at night so that you could see the Stonewall Prepies putting a dumpster fire inside of the school? He said he was out night jogging. And, you know, like you do, night jogging, you can see a fire in the inside.

of the school. Nobody questions it because they would both be in prison, I think. I think. And, you know, there's probably security cameras that are going to catch them in this lie or that there is some universe in which they could be caught in a lie. But it is, right, it's very Friday night lightsy because the main Friday night lights thing that was making me mad last night is that T.T. is just the principal now, even though she's a guidance counselor. See Friday Night Lights when they basically just give guidance counselors way more administrative power, I think, than they have. I'm in school to become a counselor, so I'll let you know if I also take over the school the way Titi has. I support it.

T.T. is doing a great job. She's basically holding the whole town together. She may as well be guidance counselor mayor. But also, in addition to being guidance counselor principal, they're totally setting up the richy, poory, football. And, you know, I liked the football scenes in the first season. I would be happy if we, and they're also now, T.T. is bringing back the cheerleading squad. And so, like, if we have more musical numbers that aren't just Veronica and Chadwick kind of boringly singing shallow and we have more like the first season, like real dance cheerleading

musical numbers at more football games, that would be an absolutely fantastic development. because Reggie is the head of the Richie football team. And Edge is the head now. He is forcing the small amount of young thicks that are in his RROTC program to play football. But how are they going to have a football team if they don't have any money? So he goes to Cheryl. But Cheryl's busy forging art like.

we knew she was going to start doing. Cheryl was in the middle of repainting some famous artist who painted her brother. That was also confusing. I'm sorry. She's forging a portrait of her beloved brother. Yeah, what don't you get, Molly? It's a portrait that's worth a lot of money. It's somebody else drew it, painted it.

it's worth so much money that it's worth her doing a forgery of it. Meanwhile, it's her brother, Jason Blossom. Why is there an expensive portrait of him that she didn't paint? I don't understand that. I was watching this scene trying to be like, what the fuck is even going on? I understand she's forging art. Why is it a painting? Why is her first forgery something that intuitively she should have been the one that painted,

not somebody else? Who painted that? Why does that painting exist? I don't know. And the thing is I understand, well, I don't understand a lot about art history. I'll throw that out there. But I do think that wouldn't it be uncomfortable to watch someone pay a quarter of a million dollars for a current day young, dead person in their Riverdale colors as an oil painting? Who wants to buy that painting?

literally that painting only matters to the Blossom family. Yet we're supposed to believe that not only does somebody want to buy it for a quarter of a million dollars, but also someone else painted it. And it's like, make the painting of anything else. It does not make sense that she's forging somebody else's painting, but the painting is of her own brother. It doesn't make any sense.

And then somebody else is like, I love it, I'll buy it. Who? Why? Why do you want this painting of Jason Blossom? I don't know. Who is interested in that? I don't know. I guess someone, someone is interested in it.

And even though she's getting that money, she is not giving it to Archie. But where does Archie get the money for the football team? Ronnie. Ronnie, I was wondering if I could just come in and ask you a question. Hey, Chad. So, would you just sponsor my football team? Sure, Arch. Okay, great, Ronnie.

See it's school tomorrow. Bye. And then Chad Beck's like, oh, but you're not. a man who likes to beg, work for me. Get on your sweaty hands and knees and build my house. And Archie's like, yeah, you're right. I got so much pride. I'm just going to let you bust me around like that. And then Ronnie is like, Chad. Sorry, I've got, I remember that scene very vividly. No, but did you also remember when he said awesome sauce? If you're going to tell me that you just jumped into, you time jumped into the present.

You cannot, in good faith, as a 25-year-old and like a Wall Street man, used the phrase awesome sauce. You're not allowed to. Yeah, especially not the Wall Street man. Chadwick said that? Yes. Yeah, somebody named Chadwick would never say that.

I had to pause it. And I was like, did he really just say awesome sauce? I returned. I returned it back. And he did. in this conversation at the end of the conversation. Awesome sauce. Get out of here.

So he's obviously a Hiram Lodge type and we don't like him. Yes. My prediction I think is going to bear fruit. I think that he's a baddie. I think he's abusive or going to become abusive. And I think that Archie's going to have to kick his ass. He's going to have to, but he can't get back together with Ronnie. I know.

That's the thing. Or I guess he could. But I don't want him to. I want him to stay with Betty. And can we also talk about juicy sauce? Jughead. I talk about a circumference. Coming from old J-bones over here, he looks great.

I love this look on him. I love his hair. I love how gross his faces. His little scraggly facial hair. It's yucky. It's a little yucky sauce. Oh, God. Now I can't get out of it.

I'm in a wheel and it's turning and I can't make it stop. I don't like the facial hair. But his hair just looks so good. And he is slapping the grease towards Tabitha Tate, the young hottie who did have a six-figure job in Chicago. But now she owns Pops because she came to take it over for her grandfather. I'm here for it. Yeah. Now she is, so she's going to be the new Betty because she's like, oh, did we mention the moth men yet?

Yeah, that is another scene. That's the scene I watched twice because I watched it and I was, after that scene finished, I was like, I have no idea what just happened. I need to watch it again. I really don't know what the fuck that was. After, we've been watching this for so many years and they can still do it. They still, man, God damn, they're good at it. Wowy and Zowie. I was like, what are you talking about?

Because, if you guys remember, now Jughead also, besides being the English teacher, he is working at Pops. So he is hitting on the new owner. And he's inspired by his small little townies again. Yes. And so his muse was like, oh, don't you want to go talk to old. man Dreyfus, who works off the lonely highway that he had never heard about, even though he's pretty much lived there in his entire fucking life. And they investigate constantly. I wonder if this, if that place has anything to do with the, remember the junkyard that, oh, what was his name?

Like, big thick, big head. Well, he was bad. Then he came back and he was a Gryffindor King. Tiny Smalls, the serpent. Yep. Big, big guy. What's his name? It was something like that. And he owned a junkyard, but now he's dead because didn't someone, they found his head somewhere, right? Yeah.

So maybe old man Dreyfus has been there. He's been waiting for the mothmen. You want to know who the mothmen are? You plebes, as Jughead would say. the moth men are aliens and aliens came down and took old man Dreyfus's friends and what has he been doing looking great talk about trash daddy trash daddy the only thing to see i was very taking it back in that scene because it was like a man that lives in a junkyard that is waiting for aliens to come down doesn't usually keep up with his beard trimming because his beard was just so well done. Yeah. He was like,

that man doesn't give a fuck about his beard. Yeah. But he's waiting for the aliens to come back for him, so maybe he wants to keep up his appearances. Because of the radiation in the outer space. See, there's radiation in the outer space, guys. Right, right. I forgot about that part.

So the conversation, the baffling conversation that Jugg had has with this man, which, again, great point. In a town is small as Riverdale, It's nice that they can always find some weird fucking freak who they don't know about because I grew up in a small town and you know about most of those people. But in Riverdale, they're always still there. They're always on the edges.

You can find them. And so Jughead doesn't know this guy. He has a conversation with him. The guy's like, yeah, all my friends got up to by aliens and they didn't take me. And I'm so sad about it. And Jughead is like, all right, got it. And then he finds out what, that all of the people who were abducted are all dead, but they all died later and they all died from cancer. And it was cancer from the radiation on the spaceship.

And then Tabith is like, is that how that works? And he's like, I don't know. And he's going to write a book about it. He's going to write a book about it with Tabitha as his right hand kissing partner. And that hasn't happened yet. but obviously all the long glances that they give to each other. It's definitely going to happen. And that's great because, you know, if they are going to do Riverdale and not resurrect

the high school relationships, I think that's fine. I have a lot of friends who met in high school and are still together and happy. So I think that having representations of high school marriages is totally fine. But I also want to normalize dating in high school and then being cool with the people you dated, but then you go on to date other people. and it's all good, you know, because that's not actually how it usually, usually stories about high school that are love stories end up with those people getting married and staying married. And that is perhaps from like the time more so from the time of the original Archie Comics. Yes.

And so I like again that they are renewing relationships, bringing in new characters. I'm here for all of it. Yeah. I'm very, I am enjoying it. I'm excited about the fact that they are setting up. Riverdale, it's just mausel, mausel. They have set up seven plot lines. Who knows which of the plot lines they are actually going to follow into fruition?

Right. Will it be the mothmen and the radiation that is possibly coming from their spaceships? But most likely it's not coming from the spaceships. But where is the radiation in Riverdale coming from? That's a good point. Because we might not actually go down an alien plot line, right? We might not. We might not go down an alien plot line, but it could be that the man, old man, Dreyfus is also dying of the cancer that the other people died from and that that's how he's going to have to figure out where the radiation is coming from.

I love a radiation plotline. I really do. I think that's great. Maybe it's because I need like my Chernobyl fix, but I'm here for the radiation talk. We also have Cheryl in the art forgery. but Cheryl is also giving lots of money towards the school. And Tony brought back the vixons as a way to get Cheryl to come and talk to her, which she did. So, again, if we're talking about the people that might get back together from old school romances,

let's really hope that Tony comes back because I need Choney in my life. I will root for that because they didn't, it wasn't like a lot of high school romances, including Betty and Jugheads, where it just kind of. ran its course. They were rudely interrupted by the Blossom legacy from being to being able to fulfill their their destiny. Yes. And I haven't brought up Miss fucking Belvinark that is placed inside of Riverdale High School who has a hotline to both Cheryl and Hiram Lodge whenever she needs to allow anyone to, the old bitty that works at the front counter, you're going to rat on everybody in Riverdale? What are they paid? Both of them. She's in both their pockets.

At least she's making some money. You know what? Go for her. I think that Gossipy School Secretary is one of the characters I really, really like, and actually does ring a little bit true, too. I love her. Well, because yeah, they're the goings on. I always, you'll always get in good, especially the woman in the front of the, I always made sure to make friends, because then it was the kind of like, you could just sign this pass, though, right? Because they have like an all-incumbenation. missing power. And I love it. Please. Yeah. But that is, we didn't, we haven't even talked about really, Polly yet. So Archie and Betty. I was like, I know we're missing a big one of the many plat lines. We have to keep track of it. Right. There's the whole serial killer question

mark plot line. Serial killer question mark. It is, is it TBK? They did not say trash bag killer once in this, but we are getting back into truck driver territory. because remember the last episode, Polly was running away from the truck with the skeleton strap to the front of it. Now Polly is missing. So what does Betty do? She puts on her FBI jacket. Man, isn't that what you love?

Everyone is so open to talk to anyone that shows up at a truck stop in an FBI jacket. They go, oh, welcome, please. I would love to answer all of your questions, even though you have absolutely no warrants or no right to be here. Not only no warrant, but no, she's not actually even in the FBI yet. She's in the academy, but I'm pretty sure that that's impersonating an officer. She doesn't have a fucking badge. He doesn't have a badge yet. But she brought in, what is it?

Oh, Trucker Fox 69. Yes, it was definitely a 69. Gideon was like, are they saying 59, like the way that they have the credit card like American excess? Yeah. But it was, I think it was. Trucker boy 69. Trucker boy 69. I love it.

So she was using her children's computer to talk to truckers because she's a jingle jingled janglest. And she is a sex worker. And isn't that scary? It's not. But they're doing okay with the sex worker thing. Like I feel like they're not, they're not making it like, yeah. It's definitely like, she works at the dancing lady club. but that it's also, it's not, they're not making it like that she's like inherently worthy of

less respect for being a sex worker. It's not so much that. I think it's more the drugs, I think it's more the drugs that are looked down upon in this. But I do dislike that I feel, or maybe I'm just being too sensitive about it. And sometimes I can be that it's like, well, or they, like, I feel like the assumption is like, of course she was doing drugs. She's a sex worker. Exactly.

Yes, exactly. That's not true at all. I think that's, I think that's, it is. It is still smacks of the old-fashioned, like, ooh, she must be in big trouble because she's a sex worker, you know. No. I mean, the way that she is going about it, yes, is not the most healthy. It's heavily not safe as we see because. So Betty interrogates Trucker Boy 69.

Trucker Boy 69 says she freaked out and got out of the truck and ran away. So that's what we were seeing, quote unquote. But they know that her phone is somewhere in something Marsh, Smeagles Marsh. I'm surprised it's not Smeagles Marsh. And so they go out to go find it. Kevin and Betty and sexy Alice Cooper. And I guess somebody gave him a hand. They found a hand.

They found a hand in the Marsh with Polly's phone. Right. And we don't know whose hand it is, right? We don't know whose hand it is. But it was next to Polly's phone. Now, Polly is the type of person that seems to just go missing randomly. Yeah. And I don't know if I would go looking for her after three days.

So I guess good on them for going to go look for her. I'd be like, oh, she's done being a mother. Because it seems like that's just kind of what she would have been doing. It's true. This is like at least her fourth or fifth disappearance, which I guess maybe that's. why Betty was in a good enough mood to fuck Archie. Yeah, because it's like, oh, you know, who knows what's going to happen.

And it was a great way to end the episode. Except that's not how the episode ended. It really put me off. So remember the fire in Riverdale High. Earlier in the episode. Reggie and Hiram want to teach Archie a lesson. So what do they do? They set the porches on fire.

And I don't know, again, not a scientist. I forgot about that. But I'm pretty sure that you can't just set fire to the porch because it looked as if there was some sort of invisible boundary between the front of the house, but it was on both sides of the house so they couldn't get out of the house. Yes. Jughead was like, Archie, there's a fire.

And then Archie ran down. And, yeah, there was a fire on the front porch, fired the back porch and they were like, is that where it ended? That's where it ended. Really? That is where it ended. Yeah.

I love that they're like, their pranks, their shenanigans are just like murderous arson, you know? But like remember when Archie went into a hospital room and shot Hiram Lodge? Yeah. Didn't that, oh no,

he stopped someone from coming into this, the, and it's just like, of all the things, it's like, y'all have gone to the highest extent between Hiram Lodge and Archie, you're just going to set the porches on fire. Do something better.

It's also like, come on. You can be better. Psychologically torture him. Don't you remember all the Red King bullshit? Let's get into his head. Oh, yeah. You got the time, Hiram Lodge. Well, I think they're built up to it.

I'm actually, and I'm going to eat my own words on this. I'm surprised to say, I'm happy to have the Hiram and Archie think back. Same, second first, same as the first. Give me Hiram trying to kill a kid again, except now he's not a kid. It's a little bit more of an even playing field. Archie probably has some, like, mysterious, like, assassin powers that he developed in his mysterious time as a soldier. So I'll bet that they're going to bring in some new fun ways to almost kill each other.

He's Hiram the eighth. He is. He's Hiram the eighth. He is. He is. And I did want to give some shoutouts to some of our – I just really appreciate people, y'all writing into page seven podcast at Gmail. with Riverdale things to talk about.

I want to give a shout out to Apes McNeil who had Riverdale rage. Hi, Apes McNeil for about last week's episode. I just love it. They said, I'm a religious follower of all things. Riverdale and Riverdale Roundup and my God, last week's episode. Why did a random pawn shop and broken down Riverdale have $30,000 on hand to give Veronica for fancy eggs that literally no one in town will ever buy? Great question. Thank you. I was so surprised they had that much cash, but I was just like, I guess that's what pot shops do. And it's not usually the case. Number two, dumbest man on earth Archie Andrews is now a teacher. Why? Who would let them teach their child? Now we've definitely covered that because all of them, none of them are trained to be teachers. And also, again, the background checks, you can't be around children if all y'all have been Oh, suspected of murder.

All of them. Yeah. You can't be a teacher. Yeah. I mean, Archie has been in juvenile detention. Like, I don't think that, you know, I don't think that people's prison records should impact their ability to get jobs even with children necessarily. However, it just is the case that many of them have criminal records. None of them have been background checked.

If any of them, none of them would pass a background check because they've all, like, been in cahoots with murder plots with the FBI. Really big thanks as well to Jan Leslie, and this is something that we were talking about last episode, wrote in, said, I work in the sports industry. Specifically, I'm a statistical analyst and programmer who specializes in baseball. And I wanted to complain about the flippancy with which Veronica was offered the job of sports agents. Sports agents, which I did not know, are lawyers. You have to have a law degree and pass the bar to even be considered for a job as a sports agent. agent. Furthermore, you have to specialize in a particular sport and know a fuck ton about that sport. The industry is extremely male populated and women trying to break in have to be particularly

overqualified for the job in order to break through the barriers that are set up to keep them out of the business. And I just, I know nothing about this. And I was, I was like, that's, thank you for that information that makes it even more mind-boggling. I love one listeners. I love one listeners, like I have a really specific set of knowledge about why this is bullshit. That's like my favorite genre of listener mail. Ooh. And this is also a really great theory coming in from Anne. I was listening to the most recent episode of Riverdale Roundup and y'all talked about Jughead's ridiculous replacement names for his friends.

Toothy for Fangs, Popeye for Sweet Pea. It reminded me of the fact that when Roberto Aguirre Sacasa wrote the Riverdale fan fiction play, Archie's weird fantasy, he had to come up with weird replacement names for all the characters. More info on Archie's Weird Fantasy has been compiled in this Google Doc that I found on Tumblr, notice that Roberto changed Veronica Lodge to Monica Posh in his play, which is the name Veronica uses as her alter ego on Riverdale. Is Jughead going to write a play about his friends? Is he then going to get sued by one of his friends for using their likeness the way Roberto was served

a cease and desist letter from Archie Comics and Real? life. The serpents don't seem to like what he wrote. And please look up Archie's weird fantasy because I didn't know. And now I think I need to really truly look into Roberto Gidei Saucasa writing fan fiction. And I'm so curious, did he do it before the show? Has he been doing it during the show? Yeah. Like, what kind of entity is this and what is its relationship to the show, which is also its own kind of form of fan fiction. It's a satirical play by him centered around the characters from Archie Comics, reimagining them as adults in Riverdale.

It's an extended version of the play Roberto previously wrote in grad school. Archie loves Nathan. I got to look this guy up. Wow. I know that he's completely, I know that right now he's also working on the reboot of Pretty Little Liars. Oh, Molly Molly. I forgot about that reboot, to be honest. And how do we make him our friend?

This is, like, has he just been obsessed with Archie's old life? And then he, it makes me love Riverdale even more. Yeah, it also makes our life make sense because we are not the only two people with a connection to both Riverdale and Pretty Little Liars. Oh my God. He listens. Hi, Roberta! You can come on the show anytime. We can we work together, please?

That would be really great. and I guess there's not another episode until March 10th. What? There's not another episode until March 10th. Oh my God. And it makes me want to die. It makes me want to die. It makes me want to kill.

Oh, I'm so mad about it. I want more. Yeah. Now that I actually want to know what happens next, you're going to take it away? That's what they do, man. They give you just a fucking little taste of that jingle jangle jangle. They give you just that little taste get you hooked. And now I'm in.

I am so back in. Man, remember at the end? of last year. Remember how we felt renewed. This is how Riverdale gets you back. Yeah. They do have me back. I did not think they could do it, but they did it. I love it.

I love it. And I love that there's more sex in it. And I think it's great. And I can't wait to watch Tabitha Bang Jughead, hopefully inside Pop Steiner. And that's it. That's all I've got for today. I will be sitting and dreaming about Kevin and

fangs kissing on each other and probably look for some fan or slash fiction of the two of them because man fangs looks great in an a line shirt a shirt yeah a shirt fangs is looking fangs is looking terrific he is really is he aged well you know age seven years aged well whatever they did he did it great whatever it is whatever it is Keep it up, Padna. And I guess we'll be back in a couple of weeks. Dear God. I have no idea what day today is.

Today is the 26. We'll be back in a couple of weeks. Wow. It's not fair. I'm going to miss this. I know. I'm going to miss us. And we're just going to dream about Riverdale until then.

And I hope that you guys do too. Go, oh, Titanic Love Scene. I didn't know it's what I needed in my week. And now I am hell. Trucker, I definitely would have gone after that in a chat room when I was 13 years old. And that's it. We love you guys so much.

And thank you for joining us on this week's episode of Riverdale Roundup. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.