Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Ch. 84: Spiffany's

Episode Date: March 19, 2021

A key party where no one hooks up!?!?! We're left unsatisfied by Chapter 84: Lock and Key. Need more hot goss? Support us on our Patreon page and get weekly bonus Patreon-exclusive content! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastIntro song by Green Dreams Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's a motherfucking key party. This episode. There was a key party. Alert, alert. There was a key party on this episode of Riverdale. You know what? To be real, I've always wanted to go to a key party. I have never had the opportunity to go.

I have never been invited to one. And in fact, if you invite me to one, I will. asterisk say yes but of course Cheryl Blossom back on the fucking scene coming in to stir up the pot in Riverdale the town

that is not a town and how does she do it she throws a key party for all of the people that she's known her entire life plus a couple of new stragglers, I will say to you, Molly. I was very upset that nobody fucked at the K party.

It was a bit of a blue ball situation for a key party. It was not nearly as horny of a payoff as it was as horny of a setup, you know? No. And I am thinking a lot, I had a lot of feelings during this episode, a lot of thoughts. And as Betty so thankfully, helpfully reminded us, This was very reminiscent of the first season Spin the Bottle party that Cheryl threw. Yes. And what you got to love about Spin the Bottle is it's kind of like an evening where you throw away social convention and you're like, I guess I'll just kiss all my friends.

And I have played many a Spin the Bottle. And I appreciate that about Spin the Bottle. You're like, usually I don't kiss all my friends. Tonight I will. And it'll be fine. Yes. And I guess a key party is just kind of. the, where do you go from there?

You heighten from spin the bottle to key party. And everyone in Riverdale just willingly was like, yeah, I guess we all have to fuck all our friends now. We have to fuck our friends. We have no option. We must go to Cheryl, who no one has spoken to in years. Seven years. She's been a recluse for seven years.

And they're like, I guess we got to go to her fuck party. We have no choice. If a friend from high school invited me to their key party, I would say no. I'd say no, thank you. I don't need traumas to come back up. I don't need past experiences to come back and bite me in the fucking ass. No, I don't look at any of you in the eye for a reason. Why would I go to a key party with you?

However, we have to write out the gate. Praise the Riverdale Writers slash Cheryl Blossom for. the setup of the key party, which could not be more Riverdale in a good way. Because, you know, sometimes my friend who called Riverdale Diet woke, it's like they just like have like a, they just have like a effort at like making sure they do things in like a progressive and thoughtful and inclusive way. And usually they do. And sometimes you're like, what are you doing? And then sometimes you're like, that was nice. And in this case, it was Cheryl's rules for the key party where everything has to be 100% consensual. Love it. Loved it. Thank you, Riverdale. And

Number two, because we are all fluid here, there's no, like, restrictions based on gender or, like, sexual identification. And so whoever you draw, that's who you're fucking. And I appreciate that, too. It was. It was. I, you know, I didn't know if everyone was ready for that up top. Because if I believe correctly in olden days, it was that the women put their keys in and that the men would draw the keys out. I'm pretty sure that it was a, that the traditional key party was not a like gender fluid experience.

I'm pretty sure it was about, I'm pretty sure it was about men, fucking women who weren't their wives. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But sometimes you're 26 and bored. And you throw everybody in there. And can I, all right, before we even get to the key party, number one observation,

I think that Archie Andrews might be the, only man in a fireman's outfit that I don't want to have sex with. I take that back. Really? I think he might be the only person in a fireperson's outfit that I don't want to have sex with. I am not attracted to Archie at all. I am negative attracted to Archie. Important distinction.

Is it that you're not attracted to Archie or that you're not attracted to KJ. Yatha? Like, are you attracted to him? It's Archie. It's Archie. It's Archie. Oh, no, no, no. The canvas of which the paint is upon is beautiful. However,

Archie is just too much of a fucking idiot. I do love it to. Someone made a comment about how many candles they had set up for them to have a friends with Benny's evening. But that's when we know it was going too far. Don't worry. We didn't have enough sex between Archie and. Betty, but it is already done. It's already done.

I needed more of the love triangle. I needed more of it. I could have done, you know, I'm torn on this because I could have done certainly with a few more episodes of casual sex between them. I was really enjoying how they established like the rare but possible relationship of being like, we are good friends and we love having sex with each other, but that's it. And so I definitely could have done with more. I also got to say, got to hand it again to the Riverdale writers, which I do not do on every episode of Riverdale Roundup, but I was pleased that with how they dealt with this particular plotline where both of them were just like, you know what?

We like really need each other as friends. We are like both going through a lot right now. We both like have some mixed up Archie has some mixed up feelings about Veronica. And both of them were just like discussed on her high school. but still discussed. Like, you know, our friendship is more important than the, like, great amount of fun sex we're having. And so let's just, like, cool it off. And I understand you might have feelings for somebody else and, like, no hard feelings. I was so impressed. I was like, this needs to be modeled more. I want teens to know that just because you sleep with somebody doesn't mean you can never talk to them again.

Like, that is so awesome. I can't agree with you more. I think I've only had one successful friends with Benny's relationship, and it ended in disaster. And it was successful up until the disaster. And so to watch two people both choose and the fact that, as much as I'm not that into Archie, the fact that he did have the Cajonis to say, Hey, Betty. Yeah.

I'm still in love with Ronnie. Yeah, he brought it up. I'm going to go try this out. Yep. And complete honesty. I really appreciated that. Totally. Yeah.

And I, right. I think that the, the idea, like this type of ideal for rents with benefit situation is rare. And it's rare for all sorts of reasons that are like legit. And I'm not saying everyone would go out and like fuck their best friend because of course it does get complicated and feelings get involved. And that's why it's hard between Archie and Betty. But like, I think that what I thought, what I was told when I was told when I was. like a teenager was like,

you can either have a friend or you can like have a sex person. Or as the Ashton Kutcher Milakunus movie would put it, can sex friends be best friends? Whoa. And I thought that the reason was because like there was something so shameful about sex that like once you like do that with somebody

they can never just like go back to being your good friend. And that is a fucked up way to think about it. But that was how I always thought about it. And I appreciate Archie and Betty for helping me think through it a different way. Yes. And of course, we remember Archie and Ronnie are end game. They are end game. What is the, I was having a hard time last night.

I only text you during Greverdale to ask you for the abbreviations of what the relationship names are. And I was like, I said something about Barci and Gideon was like, what are you talking about? And I was like, no, I don't mean Barci. I mean Varchi. Is it Varchi? It's Varchi. It's Varchi. It is Varchi.

Okay. Yes, it is Varchi. And. So Barci is back on again because she said, Sayonara to Chadwick. Chadwick, yes, we're talking about Ronnie's shithead husband, who showed up to the key party and then got pissed off when his wife was going to go bang her ex-boyfriend.

Yeah, he didn't obviously not know what a key party entails. A key party is. But also, if you are in a relationship that is on the wrong, rocks, I'm going to give you a little tip. Probably don't go to the key party. Usually you shouldn't go to the key. If you are in a monogamous relationship that is not doing well, usually a key party is not. But sometimes, you know, you got to go get those cobwebs out if you're not in a monogamous relationship. And I do understand that. This reminds me of another important question because so so, right, I think Ronnie was trying to sabotage her marriage, right, because she obviously hates

Chadwick. And I think she maybe knew that she could accelerate that by fueling the Archie jealousy. But she also got a call from Katie Keene, which is... I love the branding of a show for a show that doesn't exist anymore of her being like, Katie Keene, Katie Keene, Katie Keene, she always... It's like Charlie Brown. She always says... Katie Keene is in every episode.

It's over, Riverdale. Stop bringing it up. It got canceled. But she's not even in it. It's just her voice. And I'm like, I really, was, was Lucy, did Lucy Hale get a screen credit? Like, was it her voice? Or is it just?

It was her voice. It was her voice. I looked it up. It was. Thank you for looking it up. I knew you would know. Because I was like, I was like, that is saddened like her. And Jeff and I got into an almost argument about whether or not it sounded like Lucy

so I had to look it up. Oh, I'm so glad you looked it up because I was like, poor Lucy Hale has her show set up by Riverdale canceled immediately and then it's just like probably gets a fucking call from Riverdale like once every week to be like can you just do like you don't even have to leave your house can you just do like a 45 second voice spot they can't afford to ship her out to Toronto make her quarantine for two weeks I guess they don't want to pay that money call her or maybe they could cut the fact that Katie Keene called to tell on Veronica's husband who was seen at the Lacey's with the Spiffonies heiress.

It is the laziest rebranding. I love. Spiffonies instead of Macy's. Spiffonies instead of Diffonies. Oh, that's good. Yeah, Spiffonies is absolutely terrific. I love that show. Spiffonies.

So he was banging. And Chadwick is coming back. We know this. I don't trust him. He's mean. Because he didn't get his ass kicked yet. And I'm not satisfied until he gets his ass kicked. No.

You know, she's going to stand up for Ronnie. She's going to stand up for Ronnie. Get your head off her. She's my wife. I do like one of the reviews, the recaps of the episode, someone said, for the fact that there's only one adult firefighter in the town, they sure do put a lot of candles up because there are a lot of candles in every scene

and he's the only firefighter in town who is not really like training as much as he is just wet and washing the old-timey fire truck. Yeah, he's certainly keeping the car clean. I'm not even sure if there's a hose attached to that car. Like what the... Who needs a hose when you're a firefighter? everybody's always saying that.

Now, we have spent too much time on Archie because there's a million other things that happened in this episode. Of course, like usual, up top. Gonna go and throw it out there. I don't know if this was us saying it or if we read it in a recap, but... Oh, God. I'm sorry, I get all over the place because I love you guys. I love your Riverdale theories.

And then I'm like, did I think that? Was that an email? Did I read it somewhere else? So, T.T. is having... Kevin and Fang's baby. But you predicted this. Was it me? Yeah.

At least to me, to me it was you. I think it was me, but I don't want to take credit for it. So she is having their baby. Yeah. But she's making it clear. She does not say who the baby's father is, though. She doesn't. But then in the later interaction with, I know we're like plot jumping and time jumping,

all over the place here. But after Kevin and Fang's really intense conversation, I walked away from that thinking that it was Fang's baby, but maybe that was all just unspoken. Like I was assuming, I thought there was something that happened

in that conversation that made me think, like, is Kevin going to try to just bail and like leave it to the biological daddy, even though he was obviously like, going to be the daddy also. So, but I think, I think that we don't, we didn't officially find out. Because I'm trying desperately to find, and please let me know, I love you and I apologize,

I don't know who said it to me. But it was a great idea. What if? T.T.E. is bad. And Titi is filled with the seed of one of her truckers. You know how she's like the mommy of the truckers? Like the serpents own the trucker. Uh-huh.

But also who else is a trucker? We assume the trash bag killer. Uh-huh. And is it possible that they are going to be spreading the serial killer gene even further into Riverdale? Because so what we found out about the baby and the parentage and the origin, allegedly, and I guess we shouldn't take it at face value. But what we found out was that they, what they told everybody was Kevin and Fangs are going to get married, but also they all decided to start a family together.

And that when T.T. T.T. says, when I heard Kevin and Fanks talking about adoption or finding a surrogate, I jumped in and said, why not? I'll do it for you. I'll give you my baby, essentially. The three of us will raise the baby. But this whole episode also remember started off with me thinking that Kevin was cheating on fangs. I screamed at the television. Yeah, that's what I thought too. But he wasn't cheating on fangs.

They had an open relationship. And since that they were getting married and they were going to start raising a kid, they were going to start zipping it up a little bit. Understandable, lots of relationships go through phases. And it was, fangs was on the road a lot. So they had an open relationship. Makes a lot of sense. Apparently they were banging this. same trucker, uh, who was, I think 45, um, when they were both cruising. Because of course,

that trucker is whom was brought as fangs estate to the, what, the key party. Right. And I don't trust that motherfucker. So I don't trust that mother trucker. I don't trust that guy, but I also was, I was very confused as to what was going on with Kevin. This felt like a Riverdale trying to earn something they weren't earning because obviously Kevin was very, very upset. We see him like, you know, right, we're kind of set up to think that he, it's cheating on fangs. We see him zipping up with this guy. And then he's so upset and we're like, what's going on? And we learn, oh, he's actually not cheating on him because they're open. But then he's like, he invites fangs to bring his side guy over and even though they're about to close it up.

And fangs is like, all right, I guess. And it was the same guy. And then he's talking to Betty and he's like, I'm like an emotional masochist. And then he like fucking just like, like, bails on fangs and Titi. And I don't understand, like, I think we're supposed to think that, like, is it really just that he, like, doesn't want to commit or is there something else going on? It's one of those things where it's like... It's got to be something else. Yeah, like they were setting up this huge, there's this huge thing going on with Kevin.

And then in the end, it was just him being like, I don't think I'm ready. I'm not ready to get married. But it was his idea to get married. And also, how were we supposed to pay attention to this intense conversation when they were half naked in a sauna room. I couldn't look away. I'm not usually that into, but fangs and Kevin together.

Good Lord. Them and the towels, I couldn't listen. We had to go back and watch this again because I just straight up, I was just talking about like how much effort it takes to look like that. And how in my brain I was like, how are you going to raise children?

How are you going to raise children and both of you look that good all every second? in the day, you're going to lose a little bit of it. Fangs, fangs aged well. Yeah. Yes. Fangs is looking good. I like mid-20s fangs more than I liked teen fangs.

Oh, me too. He's got that longer hair. And can I just say, I, the hoots and the hollers that came from old jacko when fangs and Reggie pulled each other's keys at the key party. That was nice. And I was like, yes. I want to watch it. I want to watch it.

And I do love to, as I was screaming this, Jeff was just straight up, like, didn't Reggie, like, last episode tried to burn down Archie's house? Like, I think that was last. Yeah, right, right. Why is Richie even invited? He works for Hiram Lodge.

Everybody says yes to the key party, Molly. You got to go to the key party, especially when Cheryl definitely didn't let us down with her outfit, that pink and silver glitter fringe short dress? That, okay, yes, agree. But this is also reminding me of how little I understood less of this episode. Because, okay, so two questions I also wanted to ask you. Who is that lady, that art forgery lady?

Who's that lady? Oh, Minerva? Like, why is she there? What is... Secret bitch. It's another thing like with Kevin, it's like, Riverdale makes me, like, not trust my own senses. I'm like, is there something going on here?

Or is there not something, not something? Like, she found Cheryl to be doing her forgery, and then she just, like, got into cahoots with her. But what are the cahoots? What is the relationship? Why is she extorting Cheryl? Is she? Like, I literally don't understand her presence, her character.

A relationship? I understand nothing. So Minerva is the sexy art dealer. Yes. And remember, Cheryl sold her a forged painting of JJ. Yes. So remember at the end of last episode, she came back and was like, I knew you forged it. Yeah.

And we both were talking about like, what is she, what does she want out of this? What's her game? Right. in this episode that she wanted herself to be painted into as a centaur in some sort of big painting and I will

say that we did say was reminiscent of the paintings from Parks and Rec and we laughed and we laughed about it. So she was painted in as a centaur but this bitch is syrupy and I'm not talking about blossoms maple syrup. She is here

I don't trust her. I don't like her. she's invited to the key party because apparently everybody's invited to the key party. And not only is she invited, but she kind of planted the idea in Cheryl's head. Like when Cheryl was like, oh, I'm so sad that Titi's like moving on without me and is like starting a life and having a baby with like, you know, Kevin and Fangs, Minerva is like, oh, maybe this is an opportunity.

What game are you playing Minerva? Is all just so that she would paint you? I don't understand. I think she's going after. the blossom fortune. I think that she is a snake. And I think that she has moved her way into Riverdale, like we see at the end of the episode when they kiss. So Minerva kisses Cheryl. She's using her because she is emotionally vulnerable right now because the arc of Cheryl in this episode was, yes, she was upset because Titi decided to raise the child with Kevin and Fangs. She

didn't talk to her about it. Because unbeknownst to Titi in a very creepy. fashion, Cheryl created and designed a creepy horror show nursery inside of Thornthill. And so she set up the key party

so that she could show Titi the creepy nursery. What is it? Beetlejuice? I just, I was waiting for like the statue with the big hand thing to like close around the baby. And of course Titi walks in and was like

Cheryl, you crazy bitch. No. Break Cheryl's heart. What's Cheryl to do? Fuck the art dealer. Minerva. So now she's going to start fucking Nerva. I don't trust her.

I think that she's coming into trying to take the fortune. Okay. And then question two. And this is, what is the difference between Thornhill and Thistle House? Are they both? Are they both different buildings and the Cheryl? Did I say Thornhill? No.

Thornehill from something else or is it thick of this house? No, this, you said accurately, Thornhill, but then last night at one point, uh, Cheryl was like distinguishing between the two of them. She was like, oh, my time at Thistle House to now I invite you to Thornhill. And I was like, what the fuck is going on here? Are these just different buildings on the same compound? Like, these are all part of the Blossom majesty. Do we, do we use them interchangeably? Ah.

Thistle House is the current house that she lives in. Thornhill was the one that was set ablaze that she is now rebuilding. So they are two different houses on the Blossom Estate. But it is, Thornhill is the one that has all the demons inside of it. And thistle house is not. That's where she blossomed as a painter. Thank you. Now I'm remembering because it was like Titi was like,

remember when you, I'm not going to stay here and be your prisoner like, I was with your dead brother in Thornhill. That's what led me to wonder what the distinction was. Okay, that is so helpful. Thank you. Oh, that's what, oh my God. Jeff came up with this. This is the other one.

He didn't come up with it. It was something that he read online. What if? Okay, long shot. But I did get excited about it. What if T.T.S. baby, that it is technically that they created the, I mean, I'm bringing me,

I'm making up my. own kind of science here. But what if they use the corpse of Jason Blossom to create stem cells to put inside of her to build. So technically, the child is a blossom. At that I would not put past them. They would absolutely. I would never put it past them. And I love it. I love that. Because if they reanimated Jason Blossom's corpse, you know they would go in for his seminal vest. Get in that dead. I don't put it past it for a fucking second. So we're talking about Cheryl.

She's kissing Minerva at the end, which, great. I will watch it. I will watch anything. This is a creepy thing to say. Anything sexual Cheryl wants to do, I will watch. And I am here for it. I love her. I think that she's, I think that she's going to become bad.

I think she's going to get, like, actual bad. Yes. And I'm nervous about it. But I think that she's going to get real bad. I think that's probably true. It's going to be hard because I love her always being bad, but still being the kind of bad you like. That, like creating a key party to ruin everyone's relationships just so she can try and win T.T. Back.

I think it's great. Fuck all of them. She just wants T.T. back. That is a woman with focus. That is a woman with drive. I respect it. A hundred percent.

Speaking of somebody who doesn't have focus or drive, are we going to talk about Jughead? Oh, Jugg getting tracked down. He's being hunted by mothmen currently. He's being hunted by moth men, but also hunted by his own demons of alcoholism and blackouts. What is he running from? What happened in New York? What do you think happened in New York? Who knows?

A blaze of drugs. He kind of weirdly referenced it. Jingle, jangle, some other stuff, some harder stuff. Some harder stuff besides jingle jangle. Tabitha certainly, man, talk about a ride or die. I'm digging Tabitha. I like her character. I hope she's not a doormat, though,

and hopes she stands up for herself soon. Because right now, she's even going with him to and I got abducted by a mothman support group. So because Jughead thinks he got abducted. So the person that he was talking to about being abducted, their name was Dr. Whitley, and Whitley Stryber was the famous UFO novelist slash experiencer who wrote Fire in the Sky, which was the name of last week's episode. Okay, so that was their nod to it. Okay. So he thinks he was abducted. This UFO doctor has said, well, maybe it could be, or what demons are you running from? And he's like, oh, I don't have enough hands to count how many

demons. So he decides to go to the support group with Tabitha. But the problem is this entire time he's getting, I mean, he's getting drunk. He's not going through a good time in his life. I get there. I was exactly there in my mid-20s. Yeah. But I didn't get abducted.

And he does seem to think that he is because he keeps seeing this big man-sized alien following him through Riverdale? Yes. But then we are also suggested, like when he's at the support group, they were like, did you ever black out like before? And then he like has like a dissociative experience again

and sees the guy again. And I'm over here thinking, is this, are they trying to set up that it's actually not about the moth men, but about something else that happened in New York? Or is it just that he was abducted by the moth men? And now the moth men, he's seeing them in his visions all the time and they're chasing him and it's just reminding him of his general like

angsty 26 year old sadness from new york like i really feel like they're trying to set just like with minerva i'm like what are you trying to set up here is it the aliens or is it like did something else happen that he is running from and the aliens are a distraction you know what i mean it's always something with riverdale it's always something with riverdell we don't know and i do love someone wrote in uh talking about Riverdale and was just straight up like, is there something wrong with me because I'm way more attracted to Jughead as this mess than I was before? I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, I get it. No, I just want to, ooh, I want to help them and put him back together.

But that doesn't make an equal partnership, Jackie. I think that he might have been abducted. I think it's very important to know, to notice that Sidebar, also going on at the same time, is Alice Cooper pretending to be a grandmother to the two children that make not a peep. Right. But remember, Polly is still missing. And Alice Cooper claims that Polly had called and said that she sounded like she was inside of a spaceship. What if these things are linked, if this is going to be.

be the way that at some point Jughead and Betty fuck again at some point here's to hope and although Tabitha I think that you can move on to better pastures but we'll talk about that later what if Polly had been abducted

by the mothman and they're trying to bring Jughead back because he had already been abducted but he needs to go back to like go save her or something right? Because he's, there's got to be a reason why the presence of the moth men are not leaving him alone. That doesn't usually happen when you've been abducted.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or maybe it does. I don't know. I don't. So, right. So the couple, so there, the questions on the table are, why are they following Jughead after abducting him? And why did Alice Cooper say it sounds like she's in a spaceship when what we are being led to believe is that she is being traced. chased or abducted by the trash bag killer, who Betty famously fucked up the capture of because she went in by herself. Betty's having these trauma dreams, had a really scary trauma dream. Very scary. Trauma dream.

I didn't want that. Riverdale is really like, they are amping up not only like the sexy times, but it was legitimately upsetting. Yeah, I was sad. And also I'm watching Killing Even. I don't need any more of that when I'm watching Riverdale. Leave it to killing Eve.

I'm already so upset by killing Eve. I don't want my killing Eve pouring into Riverdale. But so, I mean, that would be an amazing connection because right now what I love about the Mothman plot is that it's not connected to shit. It is just absolutely out on its own. It makes no sense with anything else going on. If trash bag killer turns out to not just be another serial killer plot in Riverdale,

but also an alien plot, I would be all for that. Alien plot. They are shooting for the. moon right now. I love everything that they're doing. So that was the thing. So then in the end of the episode, which is why maybe it does tie in,

is that Polly calls. Betty answers the phone. And she was like, I'm on the phone. I'm on the lost highway. Come and get me. So she and Alice Cooper leave the children. Who cares about the children? They go out to go find Polly.

And they find a smashed phone booth covered in blood. But maybe it's alien blood, not Polly Cooper blood. It could be alien blood. It could be that they had sucked her up,

put her back down, and then she was attacked by the trash bag killer. Could be. Important, very important to note. I need to give a quick shout out to Shana who brought up, because also

then I went up on the tirade about how much I love all Shana's and I've never met a Shana that I didn't like and I don't know if that's just a Florida thing but I love the name Shana so kudos to you Shana and oh that was the person that was talking about that Jughead is even more my type now that he's a complete disaster but

first this is the I laugh so hard first can we talk about how the trash bag killer is called that not because that's how he disposes of bodies but because he's covered head to toe in trash bags?

How does he see? How is he an effective serial killer? I don't even know how I didn't even think about that. He has a trash bag over his face. He is covered completely in trash bags. He's very loud when he moves. You always know where he is. Why would a serial killer be covered in trash bags?

Russell, Russell, Russell. No, no, no. I'm going to, wait, wait, let me get you. Oh, no, that, that, that, that. I laughed and they laugh. And I do, I just needed to say that. I forgot even what we were talking about. I just was thinking about him and how upsetting that dream was.

And I was like, he does. He's just covered in duct taped on trash bags. It's true. You would hear him coming behind you. At least there's that. That makes me less scared, actually. Yes. Yes.

But you might be. Huntingtown Polly, and we're going to have to find that out. And also the idea of was, did Cheryl and Nana Blossom, are they in cahoots in the mothman conspiracy? Right. Did they forge the body? And is this all a psychological setup? Yes.

Because, right, again, this goes to whatever's going on with Jughead. Jughead's upset about some shit that happened in New York when he was on Jingle. jangle. There was no aliens in his life then. So maybe he's just traumatized and he thinks it's the mothman, but it's actually some other trauma that we don't even know about would be very Riverdale-y. Remember when they had the killer be some character we hadn't even fucking met yet? It was, it would be very Riverdally of them to be like, it's actually, this plotline is actually not about moth men at all. It's about a trauma you have not even literally heard of yet. They just love to throw in surprises like that. And I do also love this from Shana. Sorry.

Shana, you just, you got me. All of your theories were amazing. Talking about how Nana Rose and Cheryl might be in cahoots, but how could an old woman pull off, dropping off the maple barrel, then stealing the creepy little corpse, right? Because she had the corpse in the maple

barrel. Perhaps during the original alien abductions, when she was a younger woman, it was her husband disappearing people to retain power, like all the best villains in Riverdale do.

Uh-huh. So now, in present day, she must have some muscle helping her, a character that we know of, but don't yet know, could it be the third blossom child? Remember, they were triplets. I don't, this is, this was set up a while ago and they have done nothing with, but they set it up in such a place. I love this. They did.

They did. Julian, the haunted doll, not haunted doll. The dead triplet, not dead triplet. Could he have been raised in an asylum because he showed homicidal tendencies as a tidler, serial killer genus of the family? And he is now a full-blown serial killer. Wow. That man, if it's every time somebody comes up with a really good conspiracy theory,

I just hope it's that. And I hope it's just not a fucking lobbed, you know, plot line that's going to land like a fucking brick that they never pick up. I hope it is that. And it definitely could still do that. But for right now, we've got 20 plus. We have no idea what's going to happen, but what I do know is that next week is the second to last episode. What?

Of this fucking season, Molly. I just crushed your spirit. There's only two more episodes left, and then it will come back in July. What? It's only March. It makes me want to kill myself. But this is, I thought it was the only thing that I had to look forward to, but we only have two more episodes left. So prepare yourself?

Fuck. For however, they're going. I think it will be like the mid-season, I'm assuming. So we'll fucking see something's going to happen. Un fucking believable. Prepare thyself to be sexy kissed. All right. Well, that's not what I meant to say, but that is what I said.

And that's how we're going to end today's episode. Thank you guys for joining Riverdale Roundup. We will be back next week. And I saw the preview for next week. And Betty looks like she's about to have a fucking time of it. She doesn't have time for sex scenes next week, but maybe somebody else will. Oh, man. Unbelievable.

All right, we'll see you guys next week. Love you. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com. Some place underneath. Neith is a planet gone missing into time.

A moon believed to be in the orbit around Venus. The moon was named Neath after an early Egyptian goddess who, according to the lore, is the birth mother of the universe. Astronomers spotted Neath 30 times since it was discovered, but it went missing, and it has not been seen since the late 1700s. Where did it go? Poor women, trans women, women, women of color, women in French religions. What do they all have in common with this ancient missing moon? they go missing a lot I'm Natalie Jean and I'm joined by Amber Nelson

every week to look into a case where we answer the age-old question where them hose at let's talk about it and see how we can help someplace underneath a show about the missing missing from home missing from justice missing from the conversation plus there are dick jokes listen to wherever you get your pods