Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Ch. 87: Get Your Brothers Corpse Out Of Your Estate!

Episode Date: August 13, 2021

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What year is it? Who are we anymore? These are the questions I had much outside of the 100 other questions I had for this episode of Riverdale. Welcome back to Riverdale Roundup. MJ, we're still watching this show. Yeah. How long have we been watching the show? How long has what year?

Right. The show exists in the present. But not? Honestly, I probably lost 10 minutes of paying attention to the plot as soon as fucking Alice Cooper was like back to remote learning about Riverdale High because, of course, I have pandemic brain and I panic and spiral anytime I think about the pandemic. And I was like, but why do they have remote learning? Is there a pandemic in Riverdale reality as well? But I'm like, nobody's wearing masks. They're all inside together.

No one's mentioned the pandemic, even though there's been. a lot of Zoom meetings and stuff in the past on the show. Why are they have remote, we're in the present time in Riverdale 2021, but it's an alternate reality where there's no pandemic, which is great. I don't want the pandemic to be there. But then why is there remote learning? Why are you bringing that in Riverdale? I don't know.

And I said, I was like, that was too, like, weirdly self-refer, ironically self-referential. And Gideon was like, isn't that what Riverdale does? So maybe it was like a wink, because they're so winky. They're always winking at you, you know? So maybe it's winky. And maybe it's winky to be like, remote learning. And oh, it was Alice that quipped back to remote learning. In my brain, I just mixed her up with Veronica because who knows what the fuck is happening in this show?

It is insane. I love this show so much. The fact that they went into a mid-season finale, we know production had to stop. And now that it's back to finish up this season with a dive jump, it, I had, Jeff was like, can you catch me up? it wouldn't happen again. I was like, I'm right where you are. You think just because we scream about it the next morning that I remember an iota of anything that happens in this show, it leaves my head immediately. It's like diarrhea after Chipotle. But it's my, but it's always a delicious Chipotle. Oh, but I always want the Chipotle. It's great while it's happening and then

it's gone. Yeah, like there, I was also trying to catch Gideon up beforehand and I'm like, Okay, what I remembered is Jughead and Betty aren't cool anymore and apropos of a recent conversation on page 7, maybe they aren't cool anymore because Lily Reinhart and Cole Spouse aren't cool anymore. But also MJ, because he called her boring. Didn't you listen to the voicemail?

Didn't you realize that the thing that she needed everyone to know is that her ex-boyfriend left her a voicemail and said she was boring? And he should suffer because of it. Yeah, and because of that, he's missing. And she's like, I don't really want to find out where he is, even though I'm Betty Cooper and all I do is search for missing people. And I appear to have no other friends, like, other than the three friends from high school that I know, even though I'm an adult now. And so why would I search for Jughead?

But I guess I'll team up with Tabitha. Yeah, I... And kiss, because I'm waiting for the kiss. It was very upset we didn't get a kiss in this episode. I can't believe they didn't kiss. They were so close. They were so close to kissing. I mean, there's the hair sequence.

We're getting out of it. I feel like I'm getting all over the ways because I'm way too excited about the gusto with which Riverdale just punched me in the face last night because they're like, bitch, you want Riverdale? Did you forget what city you're watching right now? Riverdale. That's Riverdale, Jughead. I still say it all the time. That's Riverdale, Jughead. And I had to say it after this episode.

Because this is the most Riverdale episode that could be. It is the most Riverdale. The prison breakout. There's the prison break. And the thing that makes it the most Riverdale, the thing I'm actually most upset about with this episode probably, is that Archie, in true, every three episodes for the entirety of the existence of Riverdale, Archie becomes a fucking vigilante cop.

And that is once again. I thought he was a firefighter now. Why is he acting to go round up all of the criminals that have taken over? Riverdale. The boy has an obsession with vigilante justice. And vigilante justice is great, but he also has too much abiding, like, respect for authority, existing authority structures. And so he's not even a cool vigilante superhero where it's like, yeah, I'm going to do it myself. He's just like, I want to be more of a cop. There's not enough cops. I'm a cop. I'm going to go just use my muscles to torture criminals.

Like, because that's what Archie likes to do. And I can't stand it. And then he found out that there were no firefighters in Riverdale. Remember when all the bus stops were on fire? So he decided that he and his teens were going to make up all of the firefighters, as well as be all of the high school teachers at the high school. That's right. In addition to being a high school military teacher and a fire.

And I supported him starting his own fire department. Sure. Firefighters, you know, every town needs them. Riverdale doesn't got them. Fill in the gap, Archie. Fill in the gap. But if there's one thing that Riverdale doesn't need, it's more vigilante justice. That's all they have.

And for, and, and, yeah, so this episode is basically the whole red, it's like the gang is back together again to, to round up criminals. I just, I know that like, pulpy. you know, dark shows like Riverdale like need to re-inscribe our ideas of like what, of like criminals as like kind of old fashioned like people wearing like black and white stripes. Yeah, same. Exactly. Exactly. Like it's just kind of like wild animals. But definitely like Riverdale is just like, well, you know, there's nothing that justice could be more served by than, you know, five like 22 year olds. You know, just do it. Just taking it. And Veronica,

is also doing this just for her uncut thankfully I just watched Uncut Jems a week ago so now I understand that. Oh so you finally get all of the weird references to Uncut Gems which I don't understand why they're still going with the Uncut Gems references. I feel like they've been talking

about her weird gemstone business for many, many hours or am I just trapped in Riverdale and I think that the cycles keep happening? Was it just the last episode? I don't know. Yeah. It is a lot. Not a timely reference. Like, why are you, like, referencing this thing from, like, a year and a half ago, two years ago now, like, why, why is this an exact uncut gem's plot line?

Like, like, word for, down to the word. It's an opal. I don't understand it. I don't understand any of it. I think what I understand least and yet understand the most is that I was watching, I was reading an interview with Roberto Aguirre de Sikasa, who is the showrunner of Riverdale and talking. about how he was like, well, we had this prison break, right? And we were going to have a bunch of unnamed criminals enter the town. Then we realize the prisons filled with all the criminals,

the like fly-by-night criminals that we've had in previous seasons of Riverdale. So we're just going to make them all come back at once, which is what up the ante of this prison break, which is every single one you saw are all people, even though, because this is the thing, MJ, in my brain, I'm like, that person looks familiar. Probably just another actor. That person looks familiar.

Probably just another actor. Nope. And then I'm like, oh, that's the Dodger Dickinson. Oh, God, that's right. With the turkey, when the turkey exploded in the gym, when that man was rounding up young boys to do his, like, nemesis bidding that Archie had to go after. And I know I'm an idiot. And I remember they were from something, but you could have had a gun to my head.

I would have had no idea if you made me say what that family had done. I'd no idea. You're telling me, though, that the showrunner of Riverdale had already planned the whole prison break thing and only then realized that that opened a great, fantastic, terrific door to bring back all of the previous criminals from the previous four seasons. You're telling me that that wasn't why they had a prison break. It was just a happy accident. No, MJ gives us such insight. Because there's palladium underneath the prison as well as underneath the maple groves. What don't you get?

The palladium, MJ. The palladium. That truly, that is probably the most important piece of information we've gotten in our time doing Riverdale Rounded. Because we often wonder what decisions the writers are making, right? And truly, to understand that what seems like a purposeful narrative choice to bring back criminals from the past, like a purposeful, great

heightening of stakes that, like, reintegrates plot lines. It was absolutely an accident. This is so important to understanding Riverdale. I think it makes so much sense. Think about that. Look about the, like, the mad genius

that runs the train of Riverdale, that I imagine Roberto Garri Saucaso, which I guess is not what he does. But I just imagine him, like, strapped up, like, in a 19, 30s train conductor costume, but he's just sitting on a saddle on top of the train just being like,

ah! Palladium! Ah! I just, what the fuck? I'm, Pladium? I think there's something about Palladium that draws me over the line. And I apologize.

Now I'm just screaming. I feel like I'm a mad person screaming into the ether, and I love you guys, and thank you for listening to this, because if you haven't watched the show, if you could remember that they're making palladium through the prison that Hiram owns that paid for the prison breakout. And then they also found out that underneath the Maple Groves, where Cheryl still owns, you can get palladium from there as well.

And something's going on with Hiram. But we did see in the next episode on that they're going to get through, they're going to start doing Hiram's origin story. That's going to be fun. That's a good idea. so often they really strike gold or palladium, if you will, in terms of their plotline. I mean, I guess, and they've hit it in spades. I love that they're like, we love Markensuelos, and Markonsuelos loves playing a bad guy. Why not let him play a bad guy even extra, playing his dad and himself?

It's like, great. Yeah. I am on board for all of these things. Absolutely. I don't know what's going to happen with all of the prisoners that now Archie is trying to round up to shove them back into the prison. To be fair, we're always pretty well. weak characters, as much as it was an accidental, brilliant thing to let the prison break be an

opportunity to bring back, you know, criminals of the past so that it feels like there's some purpose in terms of how plot lines unfold in Riverdale. Like the whole Dodger crew, like, never made any sense in the first place. No. So bringing them back when it get, when, all I remembered upon them being back was like, I never understood what your guys's point is, why you're here, why you're mad. You don't have anything to do. with any of the better criminal? Like, at least there was that Penny person. Like, there used to be criminals around Riverdale

that made sense. There used to be criminals in Riverdale. What is this pussy criminals thing? Well, at least they were from Riverdale or Elmdale or whatever, the suburb of Riverdale that Penny was from. You know, like, there was some coherence to the universe. By the time Dodger and that crew came in,

they weren't even from Riverdale. Like, why were they even there? And so bringing them back again, it just gives us such insight. because there's no purpose to those people. There was no purpose then, no purpose now. They're just seeing what happens. It's like when you do like a creative writing exercise with children

and you like have to draw like characters and a setting and a problem out of a hat and like make it all work together. Like I feel like Riverdale is just like, what if you brought back Dodger, figure it out. I know that technically they went into jail seven years ago. It's remember it's these things where I don't. even know why I try. Why do I try to be like, but that one, uh, but, push up my glasses, that doesn't make any sense. Why would they be in prison for that

amount of time? They're going to come out and they're going to go after the child that tried to foil them? They have had no other nemesis in their life when it just, I guess they did kill his brothers, right? I think. I don't remember much about the Dodger crew other than the turkey scene. It's really just the Thanksgiving scene. The turkey scene, of course I remember the turkey scene. Gravy, gravy, where's the gravy? They didn't find it in the gym. I am worried about like I don't know that big scaryman,

the red hair, the guy that played, I believe, I remember the guy that played the leprechaun in you know, I think I'm speaking out of turn, in American Gods, right? What was his name? I know the guy you're talking. The big hot ginger. Yeah, the big old ginger. I don't, he's scary and he had him all locked up. And then he shot the

governor in the stomach? Yes. So the prisoners have taken over Riverdale, and this is Archie trying to combat them. And at the same time, which we have not even started, even started screaming about the Jughead plot line. Can we just for a second understand that an FBI agent allowed a person to drug them, which also, I think that we all know, that's not how maple mushrooms were. or maybe that's how maple mushrooms work

and not how regular mushrooms work. I don't understand this whole plot line. Now, Roberto Aguirre Sikasa does say that Jugheads, like what happened to Jughead between the episode, like in the time jump, they're going to explain all of that in the same way they're going to explain everything that happened to Archie in the war time period.

Good. So all of that's going to be pulled apart throughout the rest of this season, apparently. Yeah, we still don't know whether like something happened in New York to Jughead. We don't know whether it was an alien thing or like a normal like... Normal drug thing.

Because even like I know that I made, oh, I made a jape about the voicemail earlier. And I know that that would be very upset to receive from your ex-boyfriend five years after you break up. Yes. Yes, that would be very weird. Because if you think about it,

she was like, this voicemail was two years ago. So if you think about it, doesn't, it just, their time jump math never works. And I wish I could drop it inside of my brain. I'm going to go out on a limb here and defend the choices made by Riverdale, which you know I don't usually do. But the one thing that does feel, not one thing, but one of the few things that does feel, you know, realistic and maybe even earned in terms of the writing and the plots here is that like the toxic, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. toxicity of Betty and Jokhats relationship, like, does feel pretty, like, to me, it's not at all hard to imagine an X. If you were really, you know, if it was like your main person you ever have been in a really serious relationship with, five years later, leaving you a drunk

voicemail, especially if he's like a wreck, like, narcissists. No, honestly, they're, the way that they're writing their relationship, I think is the most, like, true Riverdale's ever made in real life. I'm just like, oh, for sure. Been there of just like a, God, he's such a fuck up. but why am I still interested in making sure that he's safe? Right, right. Yeah, that felt that felt totally honest and totally real. And Jughead, right, so he left her this voicemail where he was just like complaining about how perfect shitty she is and yelling at her.

And that did feel very, very real, especially for what a piece of shit Jughead seems to be and how he's struggling with a lot of, you know, he's struggling with alcoholism and all this stuff. But it just... Isn't alcoholism or is it mothmanism, N.J. We don't know yet. Again, that's the thing. Riverdale will be like, oh, this is like a pretty familiar, honest thing of, like, a person in their mid-20s who's, like, creative and has a lot of demons and struggles with, like, substance use. And also, but it's, like, has some really toxic behaviors, regardless of that that, like, really aren't sympathetic. And then it'll also be like, but also, is it just because of aliens?

Maybe it's just aliens. It could just be aliens. And see, because that's why Riverdale... Riverdale, I don't know if you noticed, and I don't think that it's just this episode. The Foley work, they are upping, and they're making, remember when she pulled out the gem, the Ethiopian dark blue opal, and it went to like a bring. I think that they're up in the camp now, which is this is saying something. I think they're becoming even more aware than they have been in the past, but I think that they are trying to up the like sci-fi. weird shit, which I'm all for.

Also, because it does, and I do wonder if they are trying to make some sort of statement with this. I apologize that I just immediately took this, but I didn't know that palladium is possibly linked to potentially anti-cancer activity inside of the body. So I don't know if that's why palladium is being mined in this, is if it's some sort of, like, is, Hiram, hear me out real fast. This is happening fast in my brain. The synapses are firing. What if Hiram is going to try to create a new drug to control the drug companies that's an anti-cancer agent? Maybe it is not a drug.

It's actually a drug for good that he's going to use to monopolize and make a bunch of money while people are dying. Or is like being abducted? Is that going to start giving people like tumas that the only answer is, you know, that the only answer is from Hiram launch. That's great. I love it. Too much? Did I just fall too far? Did I go too far?

Well, yeah, that's the thing. With Riverdale, you can't complain with the supernatural. You want the supernatural element. It's obviously always been there. They're just upping it a lot. There's like, it's like a combination. Every Riverdale episode is like a combination of like a heist and like a true detective and now like an alien movie.

and if it's going to turn into some like insurance fraud thing with Hiram, you know, that would be fine. I like Hiram kind of wearing many hats of being a villain in many different types of ways. So many hats. Yeah, I mean, I really, the thing about Riverdale is that I have no predictions about what will happen. If you asked me to predict what's, where is this going? I got nothing. I am along for the ride.

I like truly it's probably the most mindful thing I do is watch Riverdale because when I'm watching Riverdale, I'm not thinking about the past, I'm not thinking about the future, I'm just truly letting it wash over me and try to figure out what in the fuck is happening in this very moment. And while you were even saying that speaking of what the fuck is happening, I remembered a question that I had while watching Riverdale last night that they felt the need to look up. All right, let's talk about Jughead. Elephant in the fucking sex bunker, but we got to talk about Jughead, so he took the maple mushrooms, right? And he went, because I just went down of Brain Time

because of Doc and Sketch Alley. Because I remembered, I know that they did the flashback of him telling the Stonewall prep people. So again, he went, so Jughead is missing at the top of this episode. Right. You just saw the handcuffs, which why, again, I know we've already screamed about this, but never handcuffs someone that is on hallucinogenic to a desk.

But also, why was there blood everywhere? Did he chew his own arm off? Like 127 hours style? It does seem that. Where did the blood come from? They led us to believe, I thought, that he had been abducted or violently taken. And then he's just like in an alley. And it's like, what?

Why did you give us that whole huge cliffhanger of blood? Bloody handcuffs where he had been, and now he's just like not, has not seemed to have chewed his own arm off and is free. What? Or unless it was the kind of thing that the aliens did it to him and then brought them up into, like brought him up into their ship, fixed him. And maybe it's been five years. And then he like blinked and it was back in Sketch Alley, right? I'm assuming that this is where Riverdale is going with it. That it's going to be that these blackout times that are like years for him.

Sure. That doesn't. Which would really fuck you up. Yes. And so when he was getting into Stonewall Prep, when he wanted to be in the bones, the bone and skulls, he told them a secret about Doc the man in the alley that he watched get beaten to death and didn't do anything about it.

And then, in case you were hoping from seasons ago, this line off that you thought that maybe Sunday it's going to come back. It did this episode. And I was like, but was he lying? I thought, like, Jev and I both couldn't remember if he had been lying about the secret and that this was coming to fruition. But the answer is no, he was not lying about the secret. It was a real secret that he had watched him, but Doc didn't die.

And he's been living in Sketch Alley ever since. But then who are these rich businessmen that keep coming in and be? the shit out of the homeless people in Sketch Alley. Because it happened to Jughead and the next night, the same dude came back and did it again. Yeah. And then when Jughead's like on the ground, he has these kind of like slightly alien-like visions

when he looks up to see who's doing it, right? Or they're blurry at least. It seemed like a little bit suggestive of like, are these aliens? But why would aliens come down and waste their time beaten up homeless people in Sketch Alley? Good question. Very good question. Why is Doc there at all?

Again, why did they go choose to bring back this one kind of throwaway line that is, right, I guess it was a story that Jughead was telling about the time that he was street homeless like at the very, very, very, very beginning of Riverdale when he was street homeless. And it was kind of nice that he had been carrying around this guilt. And then Doc was like, yeah, I know it was you, Jughead. Like, it's fine. I don't hold it against you. You were a kid.

Well, so he was a kid. Yeah, he was a kid. What was he supposed to do? but I truly did not understand why Doc was there. What was the point of this plotline? Like, I truly, truly did not. I like Doc. He's kind of handsome.

Why is he there? I was reading a review and someone brought up the fact that it was reminiscent of the hot, quote-unquote, homeless dude in arrested development. I haven't seen such an attractive homeless person portrayed on his screen in a while. And he looks great. You know, it's all kinds. I do wonder if Riverdale's trying to write in that the Motheman or aliens attack and, like, prey upon people that have no one to turn to. And you never know with Riverdale, if they're trying to make, like, a big statement about something. Yes.

Or it could just be nothing. That, yes. Or they could also bring back a one-line story from three seasons ago. You never know what they're going to fucking do. This is so true. And it's like so diet woke that it's like maybe sometimes we are making a point. And it's like probably, I assume most Riverdale writers and staff live in L.A. I know there's like a lot of brutality against street homeless people there.

Maybe it's like a thoughtful thing about like, you know, homelessness is violence. Like let's manifest that in this plotline. If so, kudos Riverdale. Right. Like, perhaps we need help understanding the point you're trying to make, if that's the point you're trying to make. And I do, I did kind of like the nod, which, of course, I did not see it first. But Jeff was like, oh, man, really cool. They replaced, like, his Jughead S shirt with the Superman shirt because, like, they're, you know, their weird multiverse thing.

And I was like, oh, what? Wow. He's like, it's interesting. It's interesting. Like, yeah, I didn't even think about that. But apparently that was a thing of like, it's like a, like a wink. But wait, what? There's a Riverdale multiverse?

I think it's the CW multiverse. The CW multiverse. Yeah, I was like, oh. Okay. Oh, wow, Superman. I think that that's great. Or is it or could it be that doc is like a weird, beautiful angel that comes down and maybe, I don't know, he's filled with Krypton. Is that bad?

I don't know anything about Superman. Yeah. I can't even, I immediately freak out. I don't know. I'm sorry, I've been screaming. Have I been screaming for this entire time? I don't mean to be, I, it's also, I forget to say very early for me. And I love recording with MJ Riverdale Roundups where I'm just like, who am I?

Because I definitely felt that way when they started tripping. Are they going to start kissing, MJ? Do you think that Betty and the hot, what's her name? Tabitha. You know, right. So the whole episode. culminates in my absolute favorite, favorite, favorite part of every Riverdale episode, which is the musical montage.

I can't believe, are they going to start doing more musical shit, Angie? How do you feel about it? I would feel fantastic, of course, because it's always good. Sometimes it's actually good, and sometimes it's bad good. A lot of the reviewers hated the singing part of it. But I think I loved it. Of course I love it. It's not always good.

The thing is, is that it's bad shit, regardless of anything. Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about Riverdale? And it's sometimes it's painful. Like, remember when they sing shallow? Like, sometimes it's just like, unbearable. But it's still the best part of every episode. I just, I need a musical.

I want a musical. I like a musical. I like a murder heist, alien musical. And so it all culminates. We didn't even talk about, we'll have to save for next time, because they'll probably hopefully develop this plotline more. Penelope's is now part of the prison brain. Oh, we're going to, we need to discuss.

All right, quick backup before we even get to this. All right, so drugheads and sketch alley. Right. And his ex-girlfriend came in to try and read his manuscript because he didn't write anything bad about me, did he? She's a weird character, but I kind of like how weird she is. So then it's the his current, like the one that he's currently trying to bang, and two of his ex-girlfriends are on the hunt looking for Jughead.

And this is all meanwhile. Betty puts down her. My sister has been murdered. There's a bunch of girls going missing in the town. Put that down for a couple of days. Put that down. So you can go look for her fucking shithead ex who wrote a manuscript. Who's lost somewhere.

Girl, we need to talk about your boundaries, but that's not what we're here to talk about. Everybody needs therapy. And I know that I've said this many times before, but I think who needs therapy the most is Cheryl Bucking Blossom. Girl, get your brother's corpse out of your estate. You have to get rid of it. You keep pretending like you take the body and like, ah, JJ, I'm going to bury you.

Ah, JJ, I'm going to give you a Viking funeral. But they don't. Yeah. His bones are still there. Remember when his skin had been stuffed? Yeah. A couple of seasons ago. So then did they question for you?

Did they skin his corpse? corpse to make a brother doll. And then keep his bones separately. Right. That's, right, because, but a mere year ago, Jason's corpse. Eight years ago. Yes, right.

Now it's time jump. Yes, okay, right. Forgot about the time job. Eight years ago, Jason was, Jason's corpse was in really good shape. Like, very good shape. Like, really able to be, like, moved around. sat in a chair,

like, you know, right? He's like, looked visibly like a human body. And, right. And in this episode, we hear a lot about Cheryl's and Penelope's, both their kind of grieving process

around Jason, how that did it and did not involve his corpse. And then it kind of culminates in Cheryl opening the coffin, which again, still there in the house, just in the house,

leaving it in the house. Oh, yeah. And then it's actually, like now it's like a rotting, mostly bones corpse, like an actual, what I imagine an actual corpse would look like. And I found it very upsetting and very disturbing. But right, how did, I don't know how like embalming works, but why was the corpse in such good shape years after he had died? And then only to have such a rapid decline after Cheryl stopped carrying it around everywhere. Because MJ, JJ is Jesus Christ himself. Right. And, and

it is a plot line, I didn't know, I didn't foresee it, I didn't know that they were going to pull right from Perry Mason, but I think that I imagine this was written probably around the same time because this is based on a female preacher in like the 30s that was like people that like everyone surrounded them. And so this was done very well in the television show Perry Mason and now they're trying to Bobo do it in Riverdale, and I'm here for every second of it, because JJ is the second coming, and it's all comes down to body and the blood of their Christ is maple syrup. We are praying to maple syrup.

How? How? How? Is she brought into another cult because of her dead brother? She needs therapy. So many cult. And now she's in it. She's in it one musical scene later.

Right. You watch one musical scene with two young attractive people tripping their nuts off. And then two attractive people start in a cult church. Two praying to the maple syrup that they get from their trees. And wasn't Cheryl just stupin that art dealer? Where's the art dealer? Yeah, where's the art dealer? Why was the art dealer?

where so many unanswered questions about that art dealer. I don't understand. And Nana Rose, I thought that you were more, I thought you were quicker than that. Even though now you are definitely seven years older than you used to be and you were barely alive before. And I worried about the church, but I'm excited about it. I love that for some reason, because she started a bat-shit church that Penelope Blossom was released quote unquote early.

on parole, but just because you got early parole, doesn't mean that you are allowed to escape from prison. I love this. I absolutely love the world, the vision of justice in Riverdale, where she does escape on a prison break. And then Cheryl's like, shouldn't you like report back? And Penelope's like, no, no, no, it's okay. I was up for parole anyway.

So like, in, it were that it, what that it were, that if you can managed to escape from prison. If you had been up for parole anyway, you could just stay out. Honestly, change the policy. You know what? Leave her out. You know what?

She's fine. Terrific. Just let him. And she had, right, so Penelope had developed this church in prison. I love all of the religious stuff that Riverdale does. I think it's definitely the best way to get the kind of spooky, creepy, but also like holy, high stakes. I think that this is great.

I think that Jason Blossom's corpse is the gift that keeps on giving. And obviously, Cheryl has a lot of unresolved trauma around it. Wow. She's got to talk to somebody. Remember, like, like, Professora Honey's that came in and everybody was talking to her for a bit? There was a therapist in Riverdale. For a flash in the pan, there was a therapist. For one episode, there was a school counselor that they had.

all talked to. God. Although I was also excited because Kevin and Fangs teamed up again and I was like, are they going to fall in love again? Because the only thing I did remember from the last is that they were on the outs and they love their love. Also, Fangs is looking good. I like scruffy things.

Good Lord. Ooh. Ooh. It's because he's a daddy now. Yeah. I guess I know that that plot line, I'm sure, is getting tossed in the drive. Oh, yeah. That's why Titi wasn't there because she's for real life.

having a baby had a... And then there's mercenary. There's Uncle Daddy. Uncle Marcenary Daddy is back because, again, prison break. And because remember, he had turned himself in as a mercenary, but he's out now. And he teamed up with the people to go save Hiram Lodge from some of the prisoners that had him held captive. They shot the governor in the stomach, and that's all fine. And Hiram comes in and then kills the governor in the end?

Yeah, that, I didn't totally understand that. For the palladium? I don't really get that part of it. Yeah. They all propelled into the gym from the sky. That was, of course, like, I was like, all right, Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters, yeas is not. But they did save Hiram Lodge.

They saved the dark opal for Veronica's gemstone store. And now we're going to find out why. they all want this palladium so hard and isn't going to be a drug company conspiracy. Right. Yes. And all of this was all brought. We got to this climax also via this great trip that Tabitha and Betty were having while they were like dancing and feeling each other a lot because they had accidentally gotten drugged. Even though, as you point out, she is an FBI agent.

She's like, yeah, you're obviously a shady ass liar who's trying to steal stuff. stuff from us, specifically Jughead's manuscript, yeah, sure, I'll eat this food that you just gave me. Why would, why would I not? Even though we literally know that you're only asking us to go out to eat with you because you're trying to escape without getting caught and because you can tell that we're on to you. And then they just are like, sure, let's eat fries at pops. And the fries had the shrooms on them. And so we got this nice musical number where everyone, Cheryl and Penelope were singing and then the the two girls,

Betty and Tabitha were having a nice trip and then all of the boys went and killed the governor and then that's the first episode of the season. And then that's the episode. Ba-da-papa-da-pap Bop!

Insane. Even just trying to get back through what the fuck happened in this episode. I mean, I'm for it. But what I, I love the mystery. Good luck, trying to look up how many episodes are left in this season. How many episodes are going to be in season six? When, like,

so apparently season six is going to start November 16th. So what does that mean? How many episodes do we have right now? No idea. Really? They are not letting anything out. I do love it about, I never understand it with the CW, and I would assume it's because they are down to the wire of like,

editing to get them out. Because I know that it's not like they're just like sitting on these episodes being like, ah, no, they had to like take another break because of the fucking quarantine. So they had to go back. What a nightmare. And that is another thing of just really remembering that they were trying to write a fun time jumping. Yeah.

But how do you keep a momentum alive for so much of the shit when you get like a sprinkling of a couple of episodes here and there? Now, with the two of us, I enjoy it. Yeah. But I imagine, for the most part, people will stop watching this show. Yeah. Yeah. No, I do feel, I feel for everyone in the business who had to work through COVID.

And now it feels even different. Like that thing, I can't stop thinking about what Jennifer Aniston said, which we talked about on regular page seven, because she was like, we're not getting tested every day like we were before. So it's like, arguably like, even with the vaccines, like maybe not feeling safer for. actors to be on set now? No, especially because actors, like, they can't have masks on when they are working. And as someone that did it at the beginning of the pandemic with the top elf, which you saw how that, that's why it didn't get brought back. It's like, it was a fucking shit show. Yeah. Because it's, how do you deal with a bunch of people having to be trapped in

one space? So everyone has to be masked, but, and no one can be heard over the, like, the head pieces because of the mass. And then also the, like, actors have to take their mass off. and feel comfortable enough to perform in front of other people. So it's 20 layers. So you think about them all having to be on top of each other and think of like this cast and any show that you're watching right now. They are quarantined off alone together. That it made, man, it really bonds you,

but then you think about things like your ex being on your show with you. And how do you get trapped with them in another fucking quarantine to make this fucking television show. Yeah. And at least at the end of the day, they're making a lot of money. So go for them, go for them. At least there's that,

but also thinking about TT being like real life pregnant, filming before there was vaccines available. And she didn't have a fucking choice. Oh my God. And she wasn't vaccinated because it was before the vaccines. Oh my God.

I would be like, sorry, Riverdale. Won't do it. I mean, it's just so much to think about, man. And so it's like, I'm also, this is weighing heavy on my mind because I just watched an episode of my favorite food network show and they're all like, they're all still on set,

but they're all like six feet apart, and it was so sad. It just made me so sad. So I'm like, of course. It's very, and like the energy was just so desperately bad and sad. No, we're smiling. Everything's great. Oh, God, sorry, speaking just even with that reaction,

can I just real quick say that, like, Reggie goes where the money goes, and I can't love it anymore. Yes, that was great. Reggie was just like, bad guys pay more. It's like, yeah, that's true to Reggie. That is what he would do. How Reggie is Reggie.

And I love every second of him. And just like I love that they didn't even choose a big song from hair to include in their, in their show. It makes me, all of it makes me really excited. And feel, I know I shouldn't feel bad for actors because actors have it fairly easy in many different ways. But when it comes to this shit, like, just remember when you're like throwing your, you know, when I'm like stone and being like, why they do, wow, what they do? It's, um, because it's very difficult. And, uh, they're killing it.

It's, it's certainly, you know what? It's certainly Riverdale. It is rare. It is not boring. And remember, because remember the big chunk of time, MJ? When we were like, nothing's even happening on this show anymore. Yes. Yes.

No, that's true. And I like time jump. I'm still pro time jump. I'm pro time jump. One of my big turnarounds, uh, you know, I was like, very anti-time jump. I'm now very pro. I'm pro this insane nonsense. Yeah, I'm pro this episode, honestly.

I think that I'm excited to see what happens next. Hell, yeah. And thank you guys so much for, don't worry. As long as there are Riverdale's, there will be Riverdale. And we love you guys. Oh, we're going to be here next week. We're going to talk about it. If there's an episode next week, which I guess we can assume there will be.

Who knows? It's a roll of the dice. We love you guys and we'll talk to you soon. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.