Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Ch. 93: Give Us Arrow Slinging Lesbian Witches, Please

Episode Date: September 25, 2021

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What? This episode was everything we wanted. Thank you, Riverdale Fairies for sprinkling us with magic dust. I'm so mad at how great this episode was. I yelled, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, Riverdale the entire time. I was so mad because this is the hit. Like, I got my fix last night. And it does feel like an addiction because once you feel like, I'm done, I put it down.

I put it down this time. And you come crawling back. You can't quit, man. We literally can't quit because of this show. We could, we could, but we can't. But we don't. We don't quit. But yes, just when I think I'm out spiritually, emotionally, they bring me back in.

I was telling Jackie before we started recording, I was like, it was 11 a.m. on Thursday, much earlier than when I usually watch it. But I had a busy schedule, so I was like, I got to do this. I was sober as a church mouse. I was like, just like, I'm just going to, I was like, I can't even text Jackie about it because Jackie hasn't had time to watch it. I felt I was totally alone and I was just like watching this episode. And I was like audibly responding laying in my bed. I was like, ha ha ha ha, yeah.

Like I was, I was, I was so into it. I was so into it. It was such a good episode. How did they make a good episode with what they have. given us. How? What I will say is that I need to just implore you guys that if there is a show in your life that you're like, I think it's really hitting the beat, I'm going to stop watching it. You got to keep going because sometimes there are pearls within the sun. And so finally in this episode, they did what we've been asking for, which is finally the characters had scenes together.

Yes. They brought all of the plots together and they solved like 70% of the plots we've been screaming about since the beginning of this season. Yeah, they really did it. Like, I, you know, go back, play the tape. We did not think that they were going to bring a lot of things back. We had a lot of questions. Where are the mothmen? Probably the most asked question on this very podcast.

Where are the mothmen? I'm sorry, MJ. You're saying there is a secret, illegitimate clan of blossoms that have lived in the woods for two generations. I had to stop and write that jughead quote down. Yes, guys, there are secret, illegitimate clan of blossoms that lived in the woods for two generations. That has the answer to a lot of these questions. Fantastic. Excuse me?

So beautiful. What a great choice to tie it all back. Because the thing that has been so hard about this season is it's just like everything is spiraling further and further. out from our core, right? The four people never have scenes together. We're talking about trench warfare. We're talking about, you know, this FBI serial killer who, like, everyone's off on their own. And it's like, we miss what brings us to the show, which is the drama of the, of the main characters. And, you know, the Blossoms, the Blossom family, you know, that drama has been an underlying theme throughout the whole, you know, series. And so to bring it home and to be

like, Jughead's plotline of trying to find the moth men and this like alien corpse that has been missing since the beginning of this season that they've never followed up on. Betty's plot line of trying to find Polly, trying to find the serial killers. Oh, they found her. And then Archie and Veronica's plotline kind of separate. Oh, God, there's Archie and Veronica. You know what? How many times has Hiram tried to kill Archie?

How many fucking times has he tried to kill this boy all with, out any kind of, oh, I guess sometimes he shoots him, you know, sometimes he gets a little bit in there. But this time was going to be, I thought it was going to be the end. I mean, we knew Archie wasn't going to die. Yeah. Sorry, I just took it all completely off track because then I started thinking about the Hiram Lodge, Veronica Lodge, plotline. I know. And I'm actually excited to talk about that plot line too, but like, right, so it was like, but this, in what they did in this episode, they did tie together. They kind of tied together. They didn't really tie together Cheryl's plotline, but they at least brought the blossoms in.

They brought Nana Rose in. It was just like so nice to be like, this is a universe. And like, these characters exist in the universe that you have spent years building. So like, of course Nana Rose, his husband was a wandering flanderer who had all these children who they just gave to a barren couple in the woods. Of course, like that makes sense. It really makes sense. I wouldn't think it would make sense, but it does. It just worked.

And of course, what do you do if one of those illegitimate children who happens to be born, physically handicapped, dies young, what do you do with the body? Oh, you put it into a barrel of maple syrup and then down the line, try to pass it off as a mothman corpse to Jughead and Betty, when they were looking for the freaking mock men. What? Nana Rose, man. That bitch knows everything.

She knows everything. I love that this entire time she could have solved this mystery just months ago. One quam I did have with this episode, Betty has been working on this for, I mean, at least weeks in the Riverdale world. And then Jughead comes in and within hours solves all of this. It's because they're a team, Jackie. It's because they're the dream team. Tabitha said this is a mystery

because Squeaky's missing Also How did nobody follow up on Squeaky Weeks? It's been weeks Since we heard from Squeaky Don't pretend You really could have perhaps saved her

You guys You could have found her If anybody had asked Like did Squeaky get to where she was going But apparently they didn't So Tabitha's like Uh oh Squeaky's missing Been missing for 12 weeks or something

By the way if you don't remember Squeaky was just Don't worry you didn't need to It was just a blip I don't even think Squeaky had any lines and Squeaky was just like, I gotta get out of this town. And then she walked out of Pop's diner and then got picked up by a truck. Yeah, don't worry.

That's it. Really even meet her. But now she's missing. And Tabithos says, well, this is a mystery. And I heard that back in the day there wasn't any mystery that you two couldn't solve. Oh, and the way that Jughead and Betty smiled at each other, I wanted them to be okay. I wanted Lily Reinhart and Cole Spouse to be okay. They really did have a lot of fun.

fucking chemistry man. You can't open that wound, MJ. I know. And I don't want them as a couple. I'm not saying I want him to get back together. But Betty just smiled at Jughead like, yeah, we did solve a lot of mysteries. And it warmed my cold bitter heart. Did you have any kind of a like loynal flutter though when Joe, when Gold Spouse pulled out that fucking switchblade when he was about to go in to talk to old man Dreyfus, who yes, is an incestrian.

was part of the clan of Blossoms. All right, I keep saying incestuous, though, and even though it's illegitimate, how are they not? When they brought up the hills have eyes, right? How wouldn't they be? All right, so you think, Nana Rose's wife or husband

keeps banging the help and having illegitimate children. They give them to a barren couple in the woods. So that would mean that those kids would be Penelope Blossom's age. Age, right. Not the kid's age. So the person that was, so this, so this goes back to a couple episodes ago with the dude that bit his tongue off.

We were hoping maybe there was a family of serial killers. So there is, it's the blossoms, aka the starkerick weather's because they're all illegitimate. But wouldn't that mean that they were the product of incest? Because when they said, I'm going in deep here, guys. This is not what happened in the episode. But I need to discuss it with you, MJ, and I can't wait any longer. Okay. They said that they were killing the women.

Because, of course, don't worry, Jughead figured out, old man Dreyfus, who we talked to about the moth men 20 episodes ago and said, like, I seen him for myself. He was one of the moth men because they dress up like moth men and they abduct young women. And he said it was for survival. But we then figure out, oh, no, they're killing them. But I thought that they were taking them and putting their seed inside of them to keep, their clan going. Yeah. Otherwise, it must have been incest because that means old man Dreyfus is the father

of the dude that cut off his own tongue to try to swallow it to kill himself, which also that's all their schick. They all were trying to cut off their own tongues and swallow it to kill themselves. That's insane. Get some cyanide pills or something. No, but there would, there are, they're, they're, they're, would's moonshine people who are, have like, the evil seed of the blossom. They, It tracks that the whole family would try to swallow their own tongues. Like, that's obviously a skill that they've cultivated in their family. But if there's one thing that we know about Riverdale, when they don't show you a corpse,

long story short, where's Polly in the trunk of a car? And they tell, Peggy, they tell Betty, I mix Bali and Betty. They tell Betty that she's in the trunk of the car and they see, and this is like this very intense emotion. moment. It was very sad because Alice Cooper and Betty Cooper go into a crime scene and again to go look for a body. And wouldn't that be inadmissible if you found there's no warrant. But you print on it. They went and then look through it. They got your prints on it. I think this is, it should be bad, but probably not in Riverdale. But what if it's not Polly and that they have Polly on the land filled with seed? so that they could continue. Because you got to remember, this was not the season end. Also, where are Polly's kids?

That's a totally, we don't have to spend any time about that. Dagwood and, yeah, I don't know. The cousins that had children that both of them now have been murdered. Yeah. By family members. Right.

So, yeah, there's, okay, so two points of, I know, we got to back up. I'm sorry, I've got a lot of theories. A lot happened to this episode. There's a lot, right? And yes, there was, it is worse shouting out the incredible, emotional moment. A lot of people cried.

Also, I want to shout out to Devin Turner, who wrote this episode. Brava. Brava. And also Natalie Bolt, who is Penelope Blossom, who directed this episode. Can we just give it a round of applause? I fucking love Penelope Blossom. I realized in this episode,

I missed her terribly. She's in this episode more than she has been. And she's so great. But, yes, we have to... Okay, so to your questions, two things. and I actually, right. Take it back now, y'all. I'm sorry. I went way too forward.

I got too excited. I just, like, couldn't wait. In fact, I didn't even want to talk to MJ about it before the episode because I was like, no, no, no, we're going to save it for the episode. But then I got too excited about it. I didn't even talk about the other. We have so much to talk about. There's so much to talk about.

We haven't even talked about the mind. But, oh, my God. Okay. He summoned ghosts. The ghost saved him. Okay, so Jughead did say when he was talked, after they had safe, captured old man Dreyfus, he said, you bunch

of inbred something. So Jugheads called them inbred, but I was like, wait a minute, they're not inbred just because Nana Rose's husband was a wandering philanderer fucking all of the help. And because unless he was related to the help, like

they're not inbred. They're just a bunch of like half siblings of the blossoms raised by this barren couple. But so that, so, but Jughead's calling them a bunch of inbreds confused me. But now I understand that what you're saying is that in order for them to have, in order for for basically any of them to be, you know, significantly younger than Penelope's age, or old man Dreyfus's age, I assume they're about the same generation. But right, guy who swallowed his own tongue

and then there were some other random people in the junkyard, those would have had to have been, you know, incest kids in this family because they're just like a family who lives totally isolated. And the woods. Yeah, only about a half a mile away from Riverdale, but they are, no one ever knew about them. No one knows about them. Also, oh my God, MJ, I forgot that last week when you were like, I can't believe that we haven't had any orphans this season. It's another band of roving orphans. But, just happen to be murderous. That's such a good point, though, because wouldn't the many gangs of orphans that lived in the woods before ever have found them? But, but, oh, what was the other point of clarification that I wanted to...

I'm sorry, I cut you off. No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's like, it's like holding sand in my hands trying to remember what questions I have. They're like, it'll come back to me. But I didn't under... Oh, yeah. It was why did they need the women to survive? Did he just mean, did he just mean, like, to survive because we thirst for serial killing? That's kind of what I thought. Which I also think is very weird, because that is that an intimation that, like, oh, well, you know, bad. bastards are all murderers. Yeah.

Right. Why are they murderers? Weird. Just because they like, yeah, like the barren couple of the woods might have been nice. I was trying to figure out the serial killer gene as well. It's like, oh, so they all have the serial killer gene. And I was like, wait, do the blossoms have serial killer genes? It's like, no, it's from the how, it's from Hal Cooper's side.

So it's not the blossom side, right? But how, what is, isn't Hal, wasn't Hal Cooper connected to the blossoms? Or he had a. He had the secret. evil twin brother that was Stupin Penelope Blossom, right? Yes. I can't remember. Honestly, I can't remember.

How is Betty? I don't even remember how Betty is related to the Blossoms. They're cousins. I know that they're cousins. So I think that they are, I think that their daddies were brothers. So wouldn't that mean that they have the serial killer gene? Yes. I think that we're meant to believe that the rove, that the, you know, group of the baron family,

I really want to know more about the barren couple who adopted. These people were they serial killers? More about the shark weathers. Yeah. Yes. But I think we are to understand that all of the seed offspring of Dana Rose's philandering husband are to have the serial killer, Gina. And that's why they're serial killers. But maybe, yes, why did they need the women?

Was it to make more babies? or was it, because he didn't say that. He just said, we just killed him, you know? So, like, why? To survive. To survive. Because Sierra Leather's got a serial film. I think there's no way that that has to be the end of it, because also what's really weird.

So the way that we found out that the moth men are living in the woods and that there are people and not actual moth men is because they interviewed the young gentlemen who had been taken episodes ago that Jugged wasn't allowed to talk to because at the time he was a teacher, which he was. put on leave last week, but now barely just fired. It's her the best. We don't need to see him anymore. He's got other things to do. So they bring in this young gentleman to be like, what did you see? Because he just went missing for a week and then showed back up. And it's because he was inside of a spaceship. Yes. Because they put them inside of when they abducted them, they put them inside of this room that made, they made it look like a spaceship and they dressed like mothman so that people wouldn't be, I guess they would just think that they were abducted in the woods. Why did they do that if they never let anybody go? Why did they let him go? And they said,

oh, we made a mistake with this one. Did they think that he was a woman and then abduct him and then be like, oh, no, it's not, we're just going to let him go. Right. Would they kill him then? Do they just want to kill women because some people just like to kill women? Or do they need, did they needed women because to reproduce? And if you're going to have this whole tell-all explanation from old man Dreyfus who totally gives it out he's like yeah I'll just give you all this information without any coercion why wouldn't you give a little bit more information as to why what was their motivation what was the motivation of this family I guess it's just the serial killer gene and they didn't even spell that out so that is one thing that I wanted more from about this episode now that

we're talking about it I don't understand why they did this but I guess the why is always a pretty big question in Riverdale. You know, some people are just born dirty. And I guess these illegitimate blossoms were. I think it is because they were illegitimate. And also, though, it does talk about tying it all together. Where did they live before they went above ground? They lived in the palladium mines. The mines. Underneath the Maple Farm. I forgot about that connection. That is an artful connection. Yes. Good job, Riverdale. Way to bring it. Stop, Devin Turner. You did a very, I was like, ah, yes, okay.

And it was just so good because every single thing that they explained, like, oh, and that's what happened with Nana Rose's corpse when you, like, oh, old man Dreyfus came in and stole the corpse because he didn't want anyone to know about the illegitimate clan of blossoms that he was a part of. And also he went in and stole the corpse of the young man that bit his tongue off and like all this other stuff. Also, Dr. Curtle Jr. so glad that he's getting more in Riverdale. We need him in Riverdale. Yes. Please, more Dr. Colonel Jr. For a second, I was like, is he going to be a killer? Because he just always seems like he's up to something.

And he's just willing to break so many laws for Betty. But I think that's just his vibe. He's got to, like, have a thing for her, right? Like, do you think that that's going to come out? I would, you know what? I'd watch them. I don't know if I'd watch the tape. I don't know if I'd watch the tape, but I'd watch them like,

I want to see the first date. You know? Like, I just want to see what that's like. Well, he loves Josie and the Pussy Cat, so, you know, that's nice. I mean, he does. He's got, he's got little loyno flutters down there himself. And I, I'd love to see him act it out consensually, hopefully. And, well, who knows what we're going to get from Dr. Curdle Jr. in the future.

But we know right now is that he gives up bodies. And he does it like, and Alice Cooper, Alice Cooper tipped him all off because she was so upset about the whole damn thing. I know. And Betty's like, Mommy, we found a body. and we can tell anybody about it. Don't tell your unstable mother who works for a television show a bunch of secret information

because obviously your unstable mother's going to go on television and give a bunch of secret information that is going to lead these people who apparently, again, have a real incentive to cover their tracks such that they're stealing bodies from the morgue yet and they're swallowing their own tongues.

Yet immediately upon being caught by a jughead, just tell everything. Oh, everything. I'll just tell you my own. entire family's secret history of murdering. I won't swallow my tongue anymore. I'll draw you a map to find your sister. The jig is up. I will

stop hiding everything and I will absolutely stop resisting. I'm still waiting for FBI ex-boyfriend to show up. I think he has something to do with this. I thought Glenn would be when she's like, I spoke to my colleagues at the FBI. I'm like, bitch, you don't work for the FBI anymore. You're not in the FBI. I also, like, talking about it too. We were talking about, uh, Jeff and I were

talking about Dark Betty last thing. I was like, she's fully dark Betty now, though. Fully. Like, she's not even cartoonishly Dark Betty. Like, they have been, she's just hunting innocent truck drivers and like, and, and, and, and, and torturing them to get information. Like, you're a bad person now. Like, the serial killer gene coming out in spades. Yeah. Yeah. I, but she, you know, maybe now that she's found Polly, she's going to get closure. But I, you know, speaking of Loynal Flutters, Jackie, I have to ask you, how did you feel when we finally got some kissing.

Thank God. We haven't had any kissing at all. And the thing is that it's my least favorite people kissing. But oh my God, we haven't even started talking about Chad yet. Oh my God. We have so many. Mothmen. All right, Mothman to decide for example.

Table Mothman. Yeah. Table the Mothman because Chad, I think, might be the biggest Chad of Riverdale. He is the most, what a fuck up. Yeah. And I'm going to say it. He's financially a fuck up. He's a fuck up as a husband.

He's a fuck up as a helicopter driver. Yeah, I said it. He's even a fuck up as an abuser. And that is something I like about Riverdale. Like, I like that he is, and you remember, you play the tape at the beginning of meeting Chad. I was like, this guy's a domestic abuser. They're going to do like some domestic abuse plotline here because he's obviously like

has this really fucked up manipulative controlling relationship with Veronica. And not that I trust such serious issues at the hands of Riverial all the time. Very scary. But I like that this episode is. all about him being an abuser and just sucking at it. And I think that's kind of fun. Just a bumbling, just an absolute fuck-up of an abuser. I think that it's not realistic, but it's nice, you know?

I like the world where the abuser is just like, I'm just going to wander into the alley with a gun. Bang, bang. Oh, I dropped the gun. You know, just absolute trash. So what happened with Chad? So Hiram, of course. Now, we knew in the last episode, Hiram and Chatter in Cahitz.

And so the Hiram just bad daddyed him and was just like, you lost, like you couldn't control your wife essentially. And now she's going to go, sh-up Archie. How do you feel about that? Why don't you go kill Archie? You want this gun? Ghost gun. Gives him a ghost gun. And so he takes that ghost gun.

He's like, yeah, doesn't hide his face. Immediately. Put a little bit of dirt on his face? Like probably leaves Hiram's office to go immediately to Archie. There was just, we were still, I think, in the first 10 minutes of the show. Oh, yeah. And I was like, great. He'll have an attempted murder right before we even, you know, in the cold open.

Let's do it. He just goes right to this dark alley, tries to shoot Archie. Obviously can't operate a gun. And what does Archie do? He fucking Captain America's him with the trash can lid, hits him in the face with it, which of course not, that's not what I said. That's what Jeff said. And he's like, he's fucking Captain America.

Oh, yeah, because he's got that thing. He's got the thing with the shield with the star. But he did. And he stops Chad. And so Chad runs away. So what does Chad do? What's his next step? Hiram gets upset because he doesn't kill Archie.

So what does Hiram do? All right, we know all those boys are down there in the mines trying to find palladium. So Hiram sets up an explosion inside of the mine. He's just a mass murderer. He's a mass murderer. It's one thing to be an adult man fixated on killing a teenage boy, which was what he has been for the last five years. Yeah. And that is fucked up enough.

But now he's just an absolutely unapologetic mass murderer. bombed a mine. He was going to kill like 10 men. Yeah. Yeah. But now that I'm thinking about it, why did he do that? Again, the why? The question of why.

Because I understand he... Because Veronica stole the palladium and he's mad about the palladium. To get back at Veronica. Yeah. Okay. Because I understood that he was like, Chad, you're a pussy. You'll never be a real man. So I'm going to kill Archie.

Like, I just didn't... But you're right. It was revenge on Veronica because he knows that Veronica's heart belongs to Archie, which honestly, I had kind of forgotten that Veronica and Archie were cool again? Okay, can we just, 100%. I was like, wait, I thought that they, and Jeff was like, no, they said that

Archie wouldn't be with her until she got the divorce. So in the beginning of this was the divorce proceedings and Chad was going to get everything and what I thought was very weird and uncomfortable. Veronica, even the Pembroke. And Veronica was like, I don't need anything. All I want is Archie.

I know. I was like, that took me by surprise. divorce proceed. Like don't you're here. Yeah. And also that was what I was like, wait a minute. I didn't even remember that you still liked Archie. I thought you guys had kind of tried it out and decided it wasn't happening anymore. But because that's how little I care about their love. But I, until I see them, oh man, she gets that divorce paper signed. And she, I just imagine

her like, terminator walking up, just right to Archie's house, knocks on the door and he's like, he's like, emun late to work. And she's like, I don't give a shit. And they fuck. And it's great. It was great. Yeah, yeah, this is the celebratory fuck I needed. And I got to say, I'm kind of shocked to find myself saying there was two moments that I did find myself really happy and excited and maybe loynal about Archie, which was one when he used the garbage can to knock down Chad. And two, when Veronica comes in and she's like, I got the divorce papers and he just like smiles at her. Put down the minors hat. And puts down the minors had to go have an afternoon bang. I liked that a lot. I had no idea. I had a thing for minors. until that mine.

I mean, I'm sorry. Don't clip that. Minor the occupation. I like old people, old people. Please. But I have a occupational minor thing. Yeah.

And you know, with Archie, the thing about Archie is that I would rather watch him make out with Betty. Yeah, because it's bad. It's bad. Because they're not supposed to. And I just like it. I just like it.

but I'll accept it with Veronica. It was sex. We are sex starved. We haven't had any fucking smooching in so long. I need it. I need it. But it was nice. Yeah.

I need it. And I mean, why do you think I'm over here Thursday? I'm just like hoping that maybe Betty and Tabitha will start to kiss. I need kisses. I need kisses. And if we're going to talk about, I'm sorry I didn't even bring up before that when they went to go hunt down the illegitimate clan of blossoms that live in the woods, talking about loynally flipping

was when the camera boomed over to Fangs with his big old fucking rod of a shot like sawed off shotgun and I was like wow But also they had a whole conversation Tony and Fangs had a conversation of like oh but like Anthony, baby Anthony we can't like go on these adventures anymore because of baby Anthony

and Fangs gives her this like rundown of like, I know that we're like co-parenting, but you can't just go off and like, go after illegitimate clan of blossoms in the woods anytime you want anymore. And she's like, yeah, well, we're both parents. And he's like, yeah, well, I guess I'll go with you. What about the baby? Why have the conversation about who's going to watch the baby when the answer is, I guess nobody watches the baby? He said his mom.

Oh, did he say his mom? He's like, oh, I'll leave him with my mom. We've never heard about Fang's his mom before. Never met her. Issue. Why include this? Like, we know we don't care about the bit. Like, the baby doesn't exist now.

We all know this. Yeah, right. Once a baby is born on a show, there's just never any child care needs. But my question is, are they setting up Tony and fangs to be like by banging together? I think next. I think that was 100% the vibe I was getting. And they are the two hottest people on the show in my opinion. Oh, I watch the tape.

So I would love it. Canonically, I'm upset about it, though. I don't want to watch them. I want to watch Fangs kiss Kevin, and I watch Tony to kiss Cheryl. That's what I want. Right. I'm like all about bi visibility,

and Fangs was like, I'm bi, which I didn't know that he was by, but it does feel like a little bit of a loss for the two queer characters to be in a... That's what I mean. Like, it's just like... But again, maybe it's by visibility. Yeah.

Those are going to kiss the goddess, which we're not there yet. We're going to talk about it. soon. We have to finish up with the mines because very important. Yes. If your question is, did Archie summon the traumatic ghosts of his wartime past to come and help him dig out of the mine that he and bingo, I'm sorry, not bingo, Eric, are trapped in because a Hiram Lodge tried to kill them? The answer is yes. It was the ghost. The ghost came in help because you got to remember, Sarge.

You're never alone, Sarge. But you are. You are alone in that mind. I say provost. It is things like that of like, I stood up and I clapped. Yes. For Riverdale,

was like, get those ghosts. Use the ghost. Out of the mind. Get out of the mind. And if they did. Nailed it. Absolutely. If you're going to have a team of ghosts

following Archie all season, and you're going to have him trapped in a mine that's been exploded by Hiram vass. Put him to work. Next murderer, Hiram Lodge. They may as well have the ghosts dig them out. It's just like it's right there.

It's so, it's just, you know, it's low-hanging fruit at this point, but it was very well done. I was so pleased. I also love that Veronica's like, no, I can't leave the mine. I can't leave the mine. Archie's in there. And Cheryl's like, go home and have a shower.

Don't you want to look nice when Archie comes out in the mine? And so her love of her life is fucking trapped in a mine and she goes home and like runs a nice bubble bath, puts on her like silk robe. Like, have you ever... Are you fucking kidding me? Have you ever had to like take a shower in an emergency? You rush home.

You take like a two minute shower. Put on new clothes and then you go back out to deal with the emergency. She's just like, I'm going to light some candles. My boyfriend's still in a mine. And also you've had like a partner in a hospital before. Like you don't, like you just say it's like, I'll just and you just like wipe your pits and your crotch. And you're like, well, I'm not leaving their... side so I don't care.

But yes. No, not Veronica. What happens? What happens when she goes to try to have a nice back? It's the bumbler. The bumbler. It's the bumbler. Bumble an abuser. He's back. He's in the house. Veronica. But thankfully, Veronica weaponizes Alexa. What's the Alexa? No, I'm sorry.

Pippi. Pippie. I hate it. I was like I hate Pippie as a replacement for Siri. I was like, Pippie, play Vagna. Pippi, shut off the lights. It was like, fuck you, Pippi. I hate it. I love Pippie, and I love that Smither came in and he was like, Pippi, lights off, music off. Pippie came through clutch and what happens, bang, bang, bang. Veronica is now a murderer.

And then he's fine with it. Now, the thing is that I know that it is, I could imagine, that killing an abuser part of you is just like is celebratory, but also still at the end of the day, are still a murderer. And I'm sure that it does, in part, whether you want it to or not, does weigh upon you and your soul and your brain. Or if anything, there was going to be an interview with the police, even if they don't arrest you. You got to go in for an interview.

At least. She just goes right back to the mind. She's good. It's like, who cleaned up the body? Did you call the police? I mean, I guess Smithers did. Like, I would assume the poor bell man had to do it. That's not in his fucking job.

he's already bringing the goddamn packages to your door, which is already above and beyond. Yes, yeah, yeah, but she was fine. It was like, it was like all in a day's work. Like, she just killed him. And it was good. I'm glad she killed him. I'm glad she killed him.

And it was self-defense, you know, I don't think she was going to kill. I don't think she would have killed him. No, I'm not saying she should go to jail. You know, it's like, but like, at least you got to call the police. You did take a man's life. You got to call the police. You might take a few minutes to reflect on how you feel after taking a man's life. But she was just good to go.

Go back to the mine. Archie's out. Perfect timing. The ghost helped him get out of the mine. So what do they do? They go back home and they take that sexy bath together. And I was like, where's the corpse? They are taking a bath in it.

I was like, I think I don't, like, also, I don't think I can go back there right now. Why don't we get a hotel room? You know, like, why don't we just not go back to that place just right this second? I just had a really big trauma happening there. And I think I need a minute. And you just got out of a mine. we should probably get you to a doctor. It's just...

Yeah, he didn't have to go to the doctor. He just bath it off. Get out of that mind, baby. And all I could think, all I just keep saying, I say it randomly of like, KJ Appa is a father now. You know, it's just, wow. It really does kind of,

it just blows my mind sometimes. So that's what happened. So Veronica and Archie back together. Oh, also though, throughout all of this, she finds out that Hiram Launch obviously is in charge of exploding the mine. So she ties them up instead, If Archie dies, you die, and I think that she meant it this time,

do you think that this is the beginning of Veronica becoming the bad guy in Riverdale? Do you think that she's going to try and take over Daddy's position? I like that. I mean, Archie would never... But Archie is such a good boy. Archie would never deal with it. Arch is the thing. That's a great setup.

I hope you're right. I hope. Because the way that, like, you can see, I feel like we make japes often of like, okay, Oh, it's the daddy this time. I'm going to do these things and daddy you're not going to do it. But, like, I really think that she would have killed him. Yes. She just killed another man.

I think she's like, all right, well, one under my belt. What does it matter if I keep going? And I wonder if that's what's going to be her downfall. And but also, finally she wants to kill him because as we have lamented on the show over and over, kill him. Get sever ties with this man. And she's just every time she's like, yeah, you've got to kill my boyfriend, but he's my daddy. And finally, when he exploded a mom.

could have killed a dozen people. She's like, now it's over. Yeah, of course. And I love it too when she goes in to confront him. What was Hiram doing? What does Hiram do when he's alone? Does he sit in the dark drinking rum while looking wistfully out the window while listening to a radio announcer talk about his crime?

The answer is yes. She walked in, him just like looking out the window, like clinking the ice and his guys. I was like, turn out a light. Hiram, what do you do? Is this what you do all day? No wonder your criminal business is failing. And also, if you want, never ask Chad to do something like that. I love it when he said, never sent in a boy to do a man's job.

And I was like, where's Reggie? Reggie's the man that comes in and do it. Yeah, where is Reggie? Reggie wasn't in this episode at all. I think he's stup and Ramosa. And I'm fine with that, but I'd rather, honestly, I liked it better when, I'm going to say it, when Ronnie was schedup and Reggie. That's another reason I was surprised that Ronnie, I mean, that, yeah,

that Ronnie and Archie were cool because I was like, I was sensing some sexual attention between you and Reggie. I thought maybe you guys were being it. And I do wonder if she's going to end up like because if this goes on, then Archie's not going to want to deal with it. Definitely.

Will deal with the fucking crime boss girlfriend? Reggie. Reggie, he's born to be a crime boss girlfriend. Reggie. I would love it if he were my sugar baby. Sugar baby dig me a ditch. I killed another man. And he would.

Now before, I mean, I know that we're hitting like around the end of our episode, but we do need to discuss Cheryl and Cheryl's religion. And so where we left off Cheryl last episode was that Cheryl was trying to prove that she was a living saint. And she did. And so this time, what does she do? She was trying to fast because she needed, essentially, which I do love, Kevin was like, what is this religion?

What are we praying to? because it's like, well, you were praying to like Dead Brother, but then we were praying Mabel Serra, but like, we're crowded here in the communication of what we're praying to. So what does she do? She wants to fast on it. But she's so thin.

She's so tired. She can't fast for that long. So what does she do? She paints it out at the end of her fast. She was still doing, you know, she was doing the cleanse. She was doing the master cleanse. Which is bad for your body and you shouldn't do it. With maple syrup.

With maple syrup. And so what? happens she draws this she paints a painting of a cardinal and a red goddess in the sky and some trees and it's a very intricate painting to have been done in I'm assuming one day

and what does it mean? Oh yeah. It's like four elements are there and so she's like the hand of the higher power has spoken through my hands and what I have discovered and I do kind of love and also all this happened because Penelope planted the idea in Kevin's head that Cheryl is like a charlatan and she's just trying to

which is interesting charlatan from a charlatan I mean she remember what she lived in the walls but she loves she loves to soak chaos that penelope and so she's just fucking disrupting Cheryl because that's what she does and that's why Kevin's like who is our god and Cheryl's like I don't know I guess it's nature and so now Cheryl's praying mama gaia Cheryl's praying outside the mine just so unhelpful I'm like Cheryl Archie's only is that mind because you made him go in there. Like, no, Veronica made him go in there. But yeah, so okay, I take that back.

But Cheryl is definitely not helping. She's a part of it. Yeah. But yeah, so she, now her thing is just she worships nature slash. She kind of is the god herself. She's not the god herself. I think that she's the goddess. And I think that we're watching, what I'm really hoping is she's going to become a witch.

And I think that, like, She started calling, like, the corners, essentially. Like, it felt like she was calling the corners, like, of the craft. When, like, so she starts, like, doing this praying, and then the wind starts shifting. And, like, you know, like, everything is being, she's feeling the power of Mama Gaia that lives within her. And, bitch, that's some fucking wicking ass shit.

You're so right. And I am here for it. If we don't get aliens, give us witches. Give us witches. Give us witches. Give us arrow-slinging lesbian witches. Yes. Yes. Yes, 100% yes.

I think that is exactly where it is going. Get the women of, I hope, that they get, or is it the kind of thing, I mean, this will never happen, but big dreams in my head, yes, they were, the moth men were keeping the women off to fill them with their seed. And then Cheryl's going to find them and then use them to create a coven so that they believe in her instead. I'm building big dreams of what could be.

think that there are still some women alive out there? Don't you think that old man drives me would have led with that? I don't know. Again, like I said, they didn't show Polly's body. Now, was it the kind of thing of like, oh, they didn't want to? Because they said before that they couldn't figure out who's the other body was of squeaky because it was so severely dismembered and decayed. Could that be somebody else?

Maybe it was somebody else. But because you got to remember, she got out and she called, I guess that does a lot. up, though, because she told Alice Cooper that she was inside of a space station. And when they went to the P-phone on the side of the lonely highway, it was broken and smashed with blood everywhere. Right. So they must have found her and, like, crashed into the phone booth and brought her back, I guess. I think so. Because they only live a little bit from the highway, because you can hear the trucks when you're in the spaceship. That's what they're going to say. They just let him go. Why did they let him go? Don't tell anybody. Or we're going to get you. But then also they just told Jughead and what if not all of them are rounded up. And what about the one, I'm sorry, I'm backtracking. What about the one mothman that was the good moth man that was letting people go? Let us meet him.

We didn't, we didn't hear his name. He was just like, oh, not all the moth men are bad. And then there's just like a young guy standing there. Who is he? Who is his parents? Yeah. I want to know more. I mean, he's in the family.

Yes. And so I think that there's two more episodes after this. I don't know how they go, I don't know what happens next. Like, this would have been the season finale to me, right? So what happens next? I have no idea. Like, what is possibly even left to happen? I'm worried that it's going to jump the shark again.

It's got off the shark. Now it's back on the shark. It's scary. You never know with Riverdale. It is such a roll of the dice. I have no idea. Is it going to be a bottle episode that's like, what about all the things we just talked about?

Is you going to open up 20 other plot lines? I have no idea. Because there are still plot lines. out there that we still need to deal with, right? Palladium, daddy. There's like, I guess, Jughead with his writing. The writing, maybe, but that's... Honestly, I don't know what's left, and I am a little scared.

Can we just say, like, poor Polly. I know. Polly had a really bleak existence. I know. Probably got done 30. It's, because, like, we were talking about this. It was like, remember, you know, she got knocked up by her cousin and was sent away. and was that where she was at

with the Sisters of Quiet Mercy where then like she was brought into that organ harvesting cult and then like she was so wayward and so lost that like she just like became a drug addict and then started becoming a sex worker

off the lonely highway and it was just like the kind of thing of like man it's just you were just you fell in love with the cousin I guess that's really what we need to learn try not to fall in love with your first cousin if you hope it. I also there was a line. I think that's what we need to take from Polly's existence.

I think it was when old man Dreyfus was explaining everything and I loved he was like, we would just find desperate women nobody would miss like sex workers. And I love that like the idea that this guy totally uses the updated language. I was like, good job Riverdale. Good job, Riverdale. Don't make him say the outdated language. Use sex worker old man who lives in the woods. It is still an outdated thought that because you're a sex worker that no one cares about your existence.

100% But I still at least, yes, you are right I am still happy The same with like drug addicts Like I know and love plenty of drug addicts And it's emotional turmoil And very, it's a difficult journey Of communication and love

So it doesn't mean that just because you're a drug addict Or a sex worker doesn't mean that nobody loves you Or a waitress I do have to say like or Squeaky Who was just like she just was a waitress That was leaving Riverdale So I think, I hope that they haven't closed the coffin on the Mothman story just yet. I feel like there are enough plot holes that they'll come back to it.

Man, I feel like I'm just trying to live in the moment more lately. And I'm just like, you know, I don't know what's going to happen in the future. But this week, we had a very good episode of Pepperdale. What about Charles and Chick? Do you think Charles and Chick are going to come back? I hope so. Brothers, not brothers? They're still free from the prison.

Brothers, not brothers also lovers? They are free from prison. They are free from prison. Yeah, they're just out there. So put that under your hat. I don't know, because you got to remember, yeah, out there in those, like, there were the Boy Scout orphans. There's the orphans that live in the wrestling ring that Archie tried to save. And now there are orphans of all ages killing young women out in.

What about the swamp? So they weren't in the swamp? Yeah, I was just thinking, wasn't there a bunch of bodies in the swamp? Yeah, next to the military base that they're. brought up this season. Here we go. There's another three plot lines that we haven't been dealt with yet.

But I think that they can. Yeah. God damn it, Riverdale, you gave me, oh, you got me back. You got me back. I'm so mad. I'm so mad at you. And I love you and I hate you,

Devin Turner. And I know obviously you listen to this because you're a goddamn superstar. And you took all our suggestions. You took all, and you know what? Thank you. Muzzle. And if you ever want any consultation on the writings,

that just bring us in. We have too much knowledge of the show, but also we don't remember most of it because it's very hard. No, immediately goes out of my head. And that's, it's for the best or ultimately it would be driven mad. Thank you guys so much for joining us on Riverdale Roundup. I would say, if you don't usually watch the episodes and you listen to us talk about it, this would be one to watch.

Watch this one. It was a lot of fucking fun. For sure. It's definitely very weird. And like I said, brought us back into the fold. And there's even some sexiness. And there's some sex. We love you guys so much.

Thank you for joining us. And we will be back next week. And I think also the week after, I never remember. My name is Jackie Zbrowski. You can follow me in Instagram. And I'm MJ. I'm MJKLKat on Instagram. And we love you.

We love you. We love you. We love you. We'll talk to you next week. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our show.

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