Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Ch. 99: We Call That Mindfulness and We're Thankful for That

Episode Date: December 10, 2021

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MJ I need your house What's so hard to talk about Jackie? What's hard to understand It's just a simple generational curse Cheryl was never

Cheryl she's never been Cheryl Cheryl doesn't exist Is that Cheryl exists? Does she exist? Cheryl I don't think it's that complicated Jackie I feel like I went down

So let me just set up the stage For you guys So I watched Rivervale last night Yes we are talking about the season six, episode four, four out of five of the Ark of Rivervale. Oh my God, that was four out of five? Yeah. Oh, yeah, there's only one more left.

Yeah, there's only one more left. I'm sad about this ending. I don't want it to be over. Yeah. Because this was another weird of the night gallery episodes that was set up into three pieces. I just want to set the stage of how I watched this last night. So I had just finished doing a Twitch stream where I was trying, I was a

human and I was trying to fuck birds, right? Right. Consensually. And the birds were humans, but they weren't humans, they're birds. And I went after Nakee. Ngecki lived in the library and I thought, oh, Ngecki's just a broody boy. And he's always in the library. But you know

what? I'm going to get Ngeki to fall in love with me. Spoiler alert. Ngecki was a ghost. I fell in love with a ghost bird who then broke my fucking heart in the end because, oh, I can't. can't kiss you or date you because I'm a ghost and I live in the library and I like set him free

because turns out he had killed himself in the library. Long story. This is where I come in and I start watching this episode, which is about Abigail Blossom slash Poppy. Poppy slash Cheryl Blossom. And it was a la the television show Cruel Summer that was obsessed with last summer where it is about Cheryl in different time periods starting from eight. 1992 to present day. It was 1892, then it was 1957, and then it was present day. And it goes through, and also a little bit of the hours, all right? So it goes through what each one of them had to deal with, especially being a, being a, is Cheryl?

No, is Cheryl? No, she's just, she's just a lesbian, right? She's just, she's just a lesbian, right? I could remember if she was bisexual or a pansexual or not. But in this, Cheryl has been a lesbian since the land before time. And we get to see her kiss a plenty, which sign me up for it, please. It was sexy. There was murder.

It lost me in the end, but we're nowhere near that yet. It's hard to, yeah, so this is the gayest, witchiest, gay witchiest episode we've had yet. Seven thumbs up for me. Absolutely. like it was the it was the they really they are really waving the pride flag when it comes to Cheryl and her historic gayness I feel like they're doing some like some nice like uh kind of historic like you know women were persecuted witches were persecuted gay people were persecuted it's all of it's it's you know I think it's it's the Riverdale kind of you know we're we're making a point

thing going on which is again I love it gay witches you know gay proud feminist witches you can't be any more for the two of us I will say this episode was made for us yeah yeah but and

as you know all of these episodes are standalone so I mean Arch I guess it has been because Archie has not been in any of these we didn't even see it you know maybe that's just now forgive me if this is a extremely obvious observation but is that because Archie is on paternity leave?

Oh, it could be, but that's not what I was thinking. Wait, did I say this aloud or did I say it inside of my head? Jeff thinks that all of this, remember because the bomb blew up at the end of last season? Yes. He thinks that Archie's in a coma. You did say that out loud. And that he's coming in and out. Okay.

So that maybe that is why. It could be a too far, though. It could be a convenient way to give KJ. Some paternity leave, but also he's in a coma. I agree with Jeff completely there. that all of this Rivervale is an archie fantasy. And even though Tony became the child murdering, see which in the previous episode or two previous episodes,

she was in this one, but not as Tony as this historical. As Tomasina. Tomicina. The name, I was like, guys, I mean, how Rivervale can we do? Thomasina, shrouded in black, who shows up to Thornhill,

to seduce Abigail Blossom. The, like, dark witchy lesbian who comes and brings out the lesbians, lesbianism. And so, but I don't, so right. So we have this, it's, I was, my brain kept doing the thing of like, because all of the young people are playing historic people in this episode. But unlike many past episodes of Riverdale, they are not playing their parents. or even their grandparents. They're just playing random other people. Except for Cheryl,

who is playing her ancestor Abigail Blossom and her ancestor Poppy Blossom, who we've never heard about until today, by the way. Or were they being played, MJ? Or are they all the same eternal person? Right. You are not there yet, though. But I think, you don't think that we have to start at the end.

I think we have to start at the end. Should we? I guess we can start at the end. Because otherwise, nothing we say. is going to make any sense. Not that anything ever makes any sense anyway. But like, I truly think we have to start at the end.

Okay, we'll start at the end. We'll start at the end. We'll start at the end. So all of this is an overarching story that Cheryl Blossom is telling to Nana Rose, who is dying in the bed because this is all linked together because of is it Bailey's Comet?

Yes, Bailey's Comet. I love it. I love to picture the writers or where they're like, let's call it Bailey's copy. And then they like high five each other. Yeah. And they're all coming everywhere. They're like, yeah, yeah. I hope. I would only hope. Wine spritzers everywhere.

Yeah, they pop a bottle as you have paid every time they come up with like the American Express pun that they have that I can't even remember that they, you know, all of their annoying glamazon, everything like that. Oh, yeah, the glamourgeet eggs. So all of this is kind of. because of Bailey's comet coming over, which is all wrapped into the witchiness

that is the Blossom family. And so whenever the comet comes over, it is like, I'm assuming it's like all-hollows-Eve type thing of like where the veil between the supernatural and the real is the thinnest, I would assume is what happens during Bailey's Comet. So at the end of this, while she's reading to Nana Rose,

the story of the blossoms as if Nana Rose did not know these stories already. And Britta comes in, remember the orphan that she adopted? Brita comes in and is like, Mistress, mistress, I want to tell. So she sits and she also gets to hear the tale for some reason. And what happens is Sabrina Spellman shows up and says,

witches never die. And so they do a transference of souls' ceremony, and they hold hands, and they transfer Cheryl's soul into Nana Rose's soul. They switch souls. They freaky Fridayed each other. Freaky Friday, right before Nana Rose dies. Right before she dies.

And right as the comet is about. to go over because Cheryl Blossom is Abigail Blossom is Poppy Blossom and like a Cullen family-esque twist they stay

inside of Thornhill so that no one knows that Cheryl Blossom is eternal. Right. So, you know, again, so that's one point.

Okay. That's part of it. That's the only part of it. It's okay. Are you following us? As we know, right, like, we don't know whether any of this or how much of this, aside from the hints that some of these things will carry over back into River Dale. But we're in a kind of standalone universe here.

So does this mean that Cheryl Blossom that we all know and love, you know, since season one, has been a witch, this eternal witch the whole time. Maybe, maybe not. I'm kind of makes sense. It would totally make sense. And I actually think it's great. Do you remember when brother meets? puppet lived inside of the house for a while?

Yeah. Like, she's obviously been pretty witchy this entire time. Her having been the kind of haunted soul of Abigail. So the reason why she is Abigail Blossom, who, again, is this, is the witch who was burned at the stake. But that, wait a minute. Wasn't Abigail Blossom burned at the stake? But she never died.

Uh-huh. Okay. Witches never die. Uh-huh. So, because. They sprinkle that on top. top, like a little bit of hash onto our Rivervale joint, jaybone. At the end of the previous season, we learned that Cheryl is mad at everyone else because

their ancestors burned her ancestor Abigail Blossom at the stake in the late 1800s. Right. And so in this episode, we get to know more about Abigail Blossom. We get to know that she's this, you know, proud lesbian. And she has a twin brother who she was very close with. Who's in the war? Who's in the war? He's in the war.

Yeah, I guess it's the Civil War, but that would have been over by the 1890s. Yeah, wee, we're, no, no, no, no, no. War. Shosh, shush, shh, that war? I'm pretty sure it was a civil, I mean, there was other wars going on at that time, but they were like, oh, yeah, the Field Hospital, like, in town from the war, which would apply to civil war. Yeah, because who shows up?

because Thomasina shows up. This is while Abigail Blossom is not teaching witchery in her school, she's teaching etiquette. And Thomasina comes in is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, women are more than that. And then she goes, yeah, ba, ba, ba, bo, boo, yeah, women are more than that. And they kiss, kiss, kiss. And then she's like, I think we should teach the girls about the comet,

and we should teach them about witchcraft instead. Great. So, and like Abigail Blossom was always a witch. they start kissing, they're going to teach these girls. Who shows up from the war? Finn. Finn, Fogarty. Who is played by fangs.

And I got to throw it out there. I don't usually like to throw, like, throw any of their acting under the bus all the time. But it was rough to what? I will say he was hired as fangs and not as Fenn, the P-O-W who pretended to have a letter from her, dead brother from the war saying, you have to marry me. Turns out, bum, bum, bum, he was only, I guess he wasn't in H.H. Holmes, but if he had gotten his way, I feel like he would have been in H.H. Holmes, because what was Fenn doing? Tomicino was like, there's no way that Fenn was told to come here and marry you. I think this is a hoax. So they go through his

things and they find a bunch of dead photographs, because what is he? He's a serial killer. who kills people and then props them up like dolls and he takes pictures of them. That was scary. That creeped me out. Very creepy. Very creepy. Like, again, good job, Riverdale. Like, legitimately scary.

Yeah, so he comes back. Finn Fangs comes back and is like, I was your brother's best friend in the war and his dying wishes that you marry me. And Cheryl's like, Abigail, is like, okay, I guess I'll do whatever my brother said. And so then Tony is, Tony slash Tomasina is like. like, no. And so then they figure out he's lying. He's a serial killer. And, um, and so then upon she, Cheryl, um, channels the spirit of, uh, Lizzie Borden and kills, tries to kill him with an axe. And then his dying curse to her, it's not only that he's a serial killer, he is like,

he's also, he's a warlock. He's a warlock. Yeah. He's a warlock. Yeah. I forgot he's a warlock. And so he is a magic serial killer. And upon being, he's a warlock, he is a magic serial killer. And upon being, he's a warlock, he is a warlock. He's a warlock. He's a axed. He says, Abigail, I curse you. I hope that you're, it was a good curse. He's like, I hope that you're the rest, that you live forever and that you're never loved and never touched and live like the

longest, most eternal, lonely existence. A really good curse. It was a good curse. And so, I don't know how he did into, oh, I guess because he was a warlock. She should have just like cut off his head or something, right? Well, he did die, didn't he? Yeah, he must have. But she really went at him with that axe. And the

fact that he was still alive because that's what happens because she kills him and she goes Tomicina, Tomicina, now we can be together. And he had already killed Tomasina. And there was already a dead photograph of her. I forgot about that. Yeah, she was already dead. That was sad. It was weird and sad. It was weird and sad and disturbing. Yeah. She was like, oh, I get to be with my loving wife partner and she was had been killed by him. And so he curses her to be alive forever and lonely forever. And so then we have this whole hot, hot Sabrina, by the way. Sabrina's extremely hot. Good Lord.

I was like, oh, Gideon would have been, it's going to be sad to miss this one. And so Sabrina comes, does the switcheroo between Cheryl and Nana Rose, at which point, this is all happening at the very end. But again, we're 15 minutes in. And I think we need at least 15 more minutes to unpack this. So it's a lot. It is. We got it. There's a lot. So Cheryl is Abigail.

boss. Yes. What we learn is that Abigail, after being cursed by Finn Fogarty, aka Fangs, but not fangs, not fangs, she, you know, retreats back into Thornhill and kind of like, you know, lives a cursed, lonely existence so that no one knows that she's immortal. Again, I'm not sure where the witch burning happened, that they don't acknowledge that. I did read this. I've been perusing this interview with.

that Madeline, I never know how to say her last name. Petch? Cheryl. Going back to season five, Cheryl learned that Abigail was burned at the stake by the ancestors of Archie, Betty, and Jughead, and she swore revenge against them. Should they still be watching their backs when season six returns? And she said, absolutely, you're totally on the money. No one is safe. Lots of things are happening.

It's nothing that you would expect. I'll just say there's a character in Rivervale that you will continue to see in Riverdale, and she has to do with me. That's all I'll say. What does that mean? She's definitely talking about Abigail. Gotta be. Right?

But she's not Abigail anymore. Because she's soul transference into Nana Rose. And now she is Nana Rose in soul and spirit so that Nana Rose could take her soul as Abigail to the afterlife so she could be with Tomicina. Yes. Which seems like a total win-win for Nana. of Rose, right? So, so Cheryl, I mean, Abigail. Is it a win-win? She's not Abigail. Well, so Abigail had been cursed, right, to her existence.

Then she reappears in the 1950s as Poppy, which we have to talk about Poppy, but let's, you just say she's like, she's accused of being a communist. We're talking about Poppy and Bitsy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not making up those names. I loved the Poppy, like, Red Scare plot line going on with, they keep calling her a communist. There was a communist plotline. I was so happy. We haven't even gotten to it. I was so excited about the communist plot line.

And so she reemerges as a communist. It's also confusing because, again, I'm like, are they, you'd think that this would be Cheryl playing Nana Rose. But it's not Nana Rose. It's just some random other blossom named Poppy. But it turns out she's still Abigail, because Abigail is immortal. And then it turns out Cheryl is still Abigail. Poppy and Cheryl are just two different disguises that Abigail uses. to hide the fact that she's an immortal witch

from the townspeople. And so, so by switching. You say it's so nonchalantly. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to get it. It's true. Eternal witch. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So by switching with Nana Rose. Yes. Right before Nana Rose dies. What Nana Rose gets out of it is that Nana Rose's soul, Nana Rose appears to not be a witch, just some old lady who is very spooky and knows a lot.

Meat puppet. What's that? I just, I can't unsee her body being used. uses a meat puppet by La Yerona in that first or second episode. Like, I can't unsee that. Just, like, a lot of supernatural shit has happened to Nana Rose and with Nana Rose, but seemingly she's just a regular old, creepy old lady.

So she, whoever Nana Rose is now, her soul has gone into Cheryl's body. The soul that was in Cheryl's body, so Cheryl's essence, who we have known and loved for five seasons. Now that Cheryl turns out was the immortal soul of Abigail and that soul has now gone into Nana Rose's body where she died and I guess right. We know we can confirm that because of the comet she was able to not just die. She was able to go in the graveyard find the soul of Tomasina and go romp around the graves like lesbian which ghosts do. Oh, how great would that be? What an eternity. That's what I I would love for that to be my eternity. Can it be?

Gotta get a soul transfer and spell, though, if that's what we want. They just run into each other in the graveyard at night and, like, hold hands and hug and then go romp about. So their souls get to be together forever, which is nice. I'm happy for them. And now Cheryl's body is still there. But instead of being Cheryl, aka Abigail,

Cheryl is now Nana Rose. Nana Rose is... Talk about my... meat puppet. Cheryl's body is now the meat puppet of Nana Rose. Yes, you're right. I will say Nana Rose is kick ass. But does that mean that Cheryl is gone? You know, I would, I would be sad if she's not, I don't think this is actually going to hold over. I think she's still going to be Cheryl. But I think that the question is how similar are Nana Rose's personalities and Cheryl's personalities? Probably pretty similar. They're pretty similar. They are both, you know,

they hide away. Does that mean that Cheryl now is going to be more a part of the the town because technically the curse has been lifted. Right. Right. Which has never died. It was very weird that Sabrina only came in in the very end. They didn't really, and all of this, I need you guys to understand, all of this was explained in about a minute and a half at the very end.

And it was like afterwards like, what are you talking about? Yeah. And they had no one to talk to. To hang on during that roller coaster. Did they put a lot of faith in the viewer to not be so high by the end of Riverdale that they cannot keep up? I was so high, and especially like the song from the drive soundtrack, which I do love. I'm giving you a night call telling you how I feel. I did a romantic, gothic version of that in the end.

And it was like, fuck yeah. So I was doing that, like stoned alone to myself to no one. And then I wrote down Rivervale sign at the end and there was a Rivervale sign and underneath it where it was just like, it used to be like, oh, the happiest place on earth. It just said, there be witches here. And then I wrote, what the fuck is happening?

Soul transference? Cheryl doesn't exist. She's Abigail the whole time. What? Why did I write all? I literally wrote all of it out. That's how stoned I worked to try and put it together the only notes I have from this episode.

Oh, well, I have notes. If we feel like we have sufficiently covered, I have one single note. If we feel like we have sufficiently clarified what happened with Cheryl's soul and Nana Rose's soul. So my note is a quote, and it's them talking about

this is in the Poppy. Oh yeah, we got to talk about Poppy. The Poppy universe. Poppy is also a lesbian. She basically is like a lesbian organizer, but she's not a communist, but because it's the 50s, the way you insult everyone is to call them a communist. And so the quote that I wrote down is, she's the most red-blooded American of all of us.

And then the response was, well, apparently she's just red, which I thought was really, really, really pleasing. Some of their quips are pretty fucking great. She's a red. She's a commie. She's a lesbian commie, because what is worse politically in history than to be a witch and to be a lesbian and to be a woman? It's to be a communist. Communists, especially in 1950s, seven river veiled.

Talk about Poppy. Also, the line I did, I did, I did find the line that Finn says to curse Abigail, may your life be as everlasting and solitary as the comets. May you remain unloved and alone for all of your miserable days. Which I think that if somebody said that to me, I'd be like, ugh. I was bad to you, I guess. I will say I thought it was going to get creepy, just not to jump away real quick from Abigail with Fenfogarty.

I thought that it was going to get forceful on their wedding night. And I was like, I can't handle this. I know. I was worried about that too. I was like, don't do like a needless violence against women plot. That's one of the things I like about Riverdale. That they're just like when we, I feel like when they deal with like misogyny, they deal with it in like a self-aware and not like replicating it way, you know?

Like, they're pretty good about not just like needlessly having violence by men towards women. No, I was very nervous about it. Because also, I don't even know if I said this, Fen killed, I was going to say JJ, but essentially Abigail's twin in the war, he obviously had killed him. So her just straight up before anything can happen, she just fucking axes his ass, which is great. I was very happy because I was too stoned at that point. I was like, please don't do this. I don't know if I can handle this right now.

And I was very happy that that didn't happen. No, thank God. I shows need to not, shows don't need to show violence against women as often as they do. And I'm appreciative that Riverdale doesn't. But what they do need to show is women kissing more. And don't worry, we get that in the Poppy plot line. Yeah, we do. Because Poppy likes to have women over to just talk about things.

But she's Cheryl slash Abigail slash Poppy. so she's got a lot of wild ideas and she's showing some ideas about women's independence into the minds of the housewives of Riverdale of the 1950s. And I wish that she was also a communist because why not?

Why do they have to make her be like, no, I'm not a communist because it would have been cool if she was like, yeah, man, capitalism sucks. She's too rich to be. I mean, look at her how she is with the maple trees, MJ.

You really think she's a communist? That's true. She's a deep. Cheryl is probably the least communist character. on the show. And they should have said that. But she does have a lot of ideas about women's, you know, empowerment. And so she tries to, you know, sew some women's independence in the minds of the housewives of Riverdale, one of whom is Botsey.

What's her name? Bitsy. Bitsy's played by Betty's. There's Elena who's Alice, Velma, who's Veronica. Bitsy who's Betty and Tammy who's Tabitha. And Tammy Tabitha is like, I wish I could work at the diner. And poof, she gets to work at the diner. Don't understand.

I tried to start unraveling that. I was like, wait a second. Wouldn't that be probably Pop's wife at the time? Like, did they create the diner? But then if you think about it in the last episode with Lucifer, where like, oh, no, the diner has also had a curse on it this entire time. Where is the war between heaven and hell? I was doing a real big kind of like genetic.

Like I was doing like, you know, kind of a big family tree thing where I was trying to, I was like, because in this, in this, that was when I realized they aren't all playing their ancestors, but some of them are. Like Kevin is playing his ancestor who was like the town sheriff. Kirk Keller. Bixie is not Betty and doesn't seem to be Betty's ancestor. I think she's just some woman. I don't know she's in love with. angry Jack and it will say, I thought about UMJ, did you think that Jughead was kind of sexy

in his like 1950s laying down the law? I know I shouldn't have, but part of me I was like, ooh, wear that cardy, okay. I mean, I like a 1950s, you know, outfit, certainly. I mean, he is forcing her to have a kid that she doesn't want, so yeah, I know that's not necessarily sexy, but... But I would, I went into, I did the Tabitha hole too because I was like, whose wife is she?

Is she, is she, Pops? Is she Pops? You know how we have? I don't think POP would allow that. No, well, right. Like, we don't, tap at this. I mean, Pop would like let her be her own person. Exactly.

Right. That's what I meant. Yeah, exactly. Like, Pop wouldn't have been, so it would have been Pops's father, which we know he did own the diner. Yes. I think. I don't think it would have been, because Pop wouldn't have been like a young man in 1957. He would have been, he's a little younger than that.

Right. So that would be his mother. Yeah. So she must have of them been playing Pops's mother. And Pops' father was an asshole about women, which I guess, you know, whatever, that tracks. But then I was like, is Jughead playing Jughead's ancestor and Betty's ancestor? And then I was like, no, because Betty and Jughead would be doing incest with each other. So I think that.

Although, don't even get into that in regular Riverdale, because I think that that, I think the plot lines have overcast. Yeah, we've delved towards incest in the past in the regular universe, too. But I think that... We dance with it, don't they? I think it's fair to assume that Jughead was playing Jack, who's just some guy, not a Jones. That old is he just some guy, but he's some guy that talks like this. And he comes in and says, my, Betsy's going to have another baby.

And how dare you? She ain't no lesbian. But she is, because Bitsy and Cheryl, ooh, I wanted more of it. I wanted more of Bitsy and Poppy so hard. was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, with their lipstick. And Bitsy goes to Poppy and is like, what am I going to do? Jack wants me to have another kid. I don't want to have another kid.

I want you. They kiss. She gives her some, you know, birth control seeds. Which doesn't turn out to work, by the way. That was the only witch failure of the entire episode. Yeah. No, it wasn't. Or was it that Jack found out about the seeds and took them away because then Jack storms

Thorne Hill with Bitsy in tow and is like, you're never going to put your lips on my wife again. No, go into the loony bin. I'll tell you. But she doesn't go to the loony bin. She's just put inside of a a drunk tank of sorts that Kirk Keller watches over her because Bette's Bitsy comes to her and says, I'm pregnant. And I never loved you. And we could never be together. And so she has to be sad in the drunk tank for nine months until I guess Poppy was the only

doula, like birthing dula in the town as the only witch? They let her out to deliver Betsy's baby. Like that was, yeah, wait, they imprisoned Bits, they imprisoned Poppy. They imprisoned Poppy. For like, they accuse her of being a communist.

She denies it. Oh, that's right. And they undergo everything. They rip Thornehill apart. Keller's like, yeah, yeah, dirty commie. And then they put her into the drunk tank. Right. Where she has a, she has a full desk, she has a dresser. Right. She's fine.

They incarcerate her for kind of for just being a lesbian communist. And then. Like you do. And then Bitsy's like, I don't actually love you, but I do, obviously. And I'm pregnant. And then they're like, oh, this is so sad. We can't be together. And then they're like, okay, we're.

we're going to let you out to deliver Bitsy's baby, which she does. And what was the other thing? Don't they tell her, oh, if you do this thing, we won't. We won't put you back in here. Yeah. And then what they do in the end is they have her then under house arrest and she is put up into Thornhill forever and she's not allowed to Thorn Hill, which is fine. She's been doing this for generations. That's right.

It's really not that much of a punishment for her. She loves them. And that's all, yeah, that's what Bitsy says. I might have given you the wrong idea about us, puppy. I've never been happy in my marriage. And I would be very lucky to have another child with Jack. So just butt out. Okay.

I just wanted them to kiss more. I wanted more kissing between the two of them. So then she is forever. Also in between this, remember when she gives Velma slash Veronica the Kama Sutra to help her with her fuck problems? I forgot about that, actually. That happened. Yes.

Yep, that happened. I guess that would mean with Reggie. But she's the one to go to that she's got all the powders and the mixes. And you know that means like what they did in the witch trial era also with the commies. They're like, we don't like her. We got to get rid of her. Right. All we're saying is give peace a chance.

Right. It's interesting that like, right, Abigail's a witch. Poppy's accused of being a communist, which was as bad, which was the witch, you know, the witch hunt of the 50s. And then Cheryl is just, it's like, Cheryl is neither, like, both witches and communists were like unjustly persecuted in their time. And I guess the parallel then for Cheryl is that just that she's gay, but also everything that Cheryl is persecuted about is like very, aside from being gay, which she isn't persecuted about because it's like present day and it's Riverdale. and thankfully they don't really have much of that. They just let her be like a positive gay character. But so everything that is bad about Cheryl is just bad on like a personal level.

Cheryl's just like a bad person. Whereas like Abigail and Poppy were both like unfairly maligned by like the political environment of like these witch hunts. And that's what Cheryl says in this interview with her of like that's because Cheryl is actually a hybrid of the two put together since it is like she has been the same. same so that anger and that malice has just grown over time and that is why she is like why Cheryl has always been like this is because it's generations of her being maligned for no reason so then she comes into every situation on the defensive which I will say that makes a part of trauma I mean that is that is weirdly enough a good telling of trauma and how it affects you over time. Yeah. For some people. So I think the more I talk about this episode,

the more I like it. I think it was a good episode. I mean, I think that the Abigail and Poppy stuff was really fun and really interesting. I mean more kissing. I needed a lot more kissing. But that's a pretty good amount of kissing. You know, there was there was a lot of Thomasina and Abigail kissing. There was a lot of Poppy and Bitsy kissing. Yeah. And then so the baby was born as the comet came up overhead. And so now that, yeah, the soul transferans happened during then. I wonder what the fuck is going to happen now? Who's left to have their own arc? Jughead, right? Yes. But like, he's had his own little segments with Tabitha. He's had his own little segments. Like, I'm just wondering who was left to, like, be killed off. Nobody was really killed off in this

episode, though, were they? Well, Nana Rose. Nana Rose. But no main care. Like, because in In episode one, Archie was killed off. In episode two, Tony was killed off. Tony, yeah. In episode three, which one was it? Somebody died. It wasn't the Lionora. Oh, Reggie did.

Reggie. Yeah, Reggie. Lucifer took Reggie's soul and took him down into the underworld because of the casino that is now going to be used to farm souls for the devil. Right. How could I forget? I'm sorry. Rivervale.

And so in this one, Nana Rose died. that counts. She's a pretty big character at this point. Honestly, I fall in in love with Nana Rose, but I am excited. If this is something that she's going to continue doing, if I would love it if Cheryl continues to be Nana Rose and not Cheryl anymore.

And I don't even know what necessarily that means, but will it change? Will it change much? Yeah, that would just be a, like if for the rest of the seasons of Riverdale, she's just not actually. We know at least, we remember. We know in our heart of hearts. She's Nana Rose.

Yeah, I don't, I have fuck all idea of what's going to happen next. Because obviously every episode has been completely its own journey. And I don't know who they want to do a deep dive. Like, because there's been a deep dive basically on, I mean, most, all four episodes have really, in a way, been a deep dive on Cheryl's witchiness. So, right? Because Cheryl's witchiness was what orchestrated the mass murder of, or the big, the collective murder of Archie. and she was influencing the sea witch murdering the children and, you know, she, like every episode has had a lot to do with Cheryl's witchiness.

So where does it go from here? What happens in the fifth episode? I think that there's going to be, I think it has to continue to have magic inside of Riverdale. And part of this interview as well, it says, Nana Rose passed away and her spirit entered Cheryl's body. Is this really goodbye for Nana Rose? And she says, I love Nana Rose. Barbara Wallace is my favorite. I would say it's only goodbye for Rivervale.

Also, no one ever dies in Riverdale. Come on. So I think that everybody is coming back. But what I... Man, y'all, it is crazy that we started this show because of how bad shit it is. And yes, it is still completely bad shit. But I think that this is so good to reinvent it. I think it's going to come back stronger than it has been in years.

I'm very excited with where it is going. now that all of this bullshit has been unearthed. Think of the different curses. Think of all of the things they can play with. It makes me think of Fear Street. Now it is like, okay. It's extremely fair. Riverdale, yeah.

It's a hotbed of supernatural murder and witchcraft. And I mean, even another serial killer in this episode. Yeah. That's crazy for a television show. Another serial killer? I love how many serial killers there are. love the, I do love the magic. I think it's like absolutely what Riverdale needed. I hope that regular Riverdale comes back and is as good because what example of a show can you think of where

you're like, oh, season one is really good and then the rest of it sucked, but then season five, season five B or whatever the fuck was really good. Was really good. And that like literally this, this little mini arc is the only one that compares, I think, even to season one. Season one was a legitimately excellent season of television. Everything else has been kind of a slippery slope. This is a really, I don't think this is still as good as season one, but I feel like it's coming back. It's very good.

And I hope it keeps it up because I have, like, truly enjoyed these four episodes. Oh, the next episode is, it's, I can't even believe this. MJ, it's the 100th episode, the next episode. They're going to do all sorts of crazy shit. They are going back to the 1950s. They are in their outfits from. they're going into Archie Comics. Yeah.

And the episode, which also marks the final installment of the five-episode River Vale event is titled The Jughead Paradox. And the official description is cryptic. Do you want to hear it? Yes. Junk-Head's quest for answers leads him to uncover the truth about Rivervale. Yes. Yes. I knew it was going to be Jughead because Jughead's been holding our hand, usuring us through these four episodes.

I knew it was going to end with him. Yes. I love it. That's awesome. Yeah, yeah. You can't not see it, but I'm doing a jig. And I'm very, very excited. Hell yeah, that's great.

Man, fantastic. And I also think this is the shortest episode of Riverdale Roundup we've ever done because, like, I have nothing, I don't know what else to say. This is great. I really liked it. I like what's happening. And the people, I've gotten a couple messages, people are like, I can't believe you like this. I was like, if I like the rest of it, I'm here.

I'm in it. watching it. What am I going to like, you can only hate watch to such an extent. I love that this exists. Yeah. I mean, right. Like, I've always enjoyed the hate, seasons two through four, I guess, four A, four B, however many, whatever, since pandemic, there's been like somehow like six seasons. But like, since the show started to jump the shark, it has jumped and jumped and jumped and jumped and jumped to the point where it's like, well, I guess I actually enjoy this for how fucking awful it is. And, Now to suddenly find oneself enjoying the show that you watch, you started off watching it for how fun, bad, like good, good, good, but kind of bad it was.

And then it started as being like bad, bad, but still fun, but more bad than fun. And then now it's like fun good. You know, it's like a real roller coaster. It is. We got to ride it. What are we going to not enjoy the fact that it's good now? Come on. No, come and ride the train.

You're right to chew, chew, chew. And get on board the fuck express. because we've got one more fuck to give, and that is next week when we watch the final episode inside of the Rivervale arc. Thank you so much for joining us on Rivervale Roundup this week.

We've got one more, and then I have no idea when the next season comes out. I'm gonna assume... February? Why did I just make that up? I just literally made it up, but there's gonna be another half of the season.

Pandemic really Right? Really. There's been three seasons just since the pandemic started but I think they've only numbered as two. Yeah. So it's very hard.

We don't... The thing about Riverdale is it makes you live in the moment. You're like, I don't know what has happened in the past. I don't know what's going to happen in the future. But I know I enjoyed this episode. And we call that mindfulness. And we're thankful for that. Yeah, we are thankful for our mindfulness.

And thank you. Thank you, MJ, for reminding us. Thank you, Jackie. I don't know whether I would do. I don't know whether we fucking want to or not. I don't know where my brain would be without you to process these things. We got to talk it out. We got to, this is, this brings us closer together.

And it makes me, this is that like MJ and I's special time. That does make me as much as I have my ups and downs with how I feel about Riverdale. It really, this is always my favorite part is of like, well, at least I get to go scream towards MJ about it. Yes. Yes. No holdings allowed. No holdings allowed. We love you guys.

And, oh, yoy, we'll see you next week when Juggad finds out what the hell is happening. I'm so excited for this. Oh, man, I'm actually looking forward to the next Riverdale. Oh, my God, me too. I am going to kiss them all. Love you guys. See you next week. Bye.

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