Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Chapter 71: Wildcard

Episode Date: March 4, 2020

Guys, we don't know about this one! We discuss "Chapter Seventy-One: How to Get Away With Murder" and we have Riverdale blue balls over the lack of answers and lack of kissing!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon to get weekly bonus content! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

my God, guys. We're not ever going to break up with Riverdale, but I don't know forever, ever, ever getting back together. That's a sorry, that's a shout out to Holden McNeely, who is not with us on this one specific show. He is not, and I hate that he still gets into my brain. Welcome to Riverdale Roundup, guys. My name is Jackie. My name is Molly, and we are mad. I'm upset. You know, I just, I watch it. I wanted to be ludicrous. And even though it is still ludicrous, in the world of regular television, Riverdale is still the dumbest shit you can watch in a fun way, in a trash way. But right now, so we've finally gotten to all of the flash forwards we've been seeing all episode. We've finally gotten to the burning of the clothes with them covered in blood. We finally, which I just realized something. Why would Veronica and Archie be covered in blood if Betty had

already killed him and that she was off to the side. But we'll get to that for a second. I immediately forgot about that. So what we are talking about is that all season long, they have been saying that someone kills Jughead, that Jughead is dead. And now in this episode, Jughead is quote unquote dead, which obviously is not because you know what, Molly, Neffle,

how would he do the narration if he was dead? I know. He's narrating the whole damn episode. He did the whole fucking episode. He's not dead. No, he's not dead and it's disrespectful to even have this plotline because nobody's acting like he's dead. Disrespectful. This is the problem with this episode.

Nobody's acting like he's dead. But yet, in the whole episode, did we get any sort of satisfaction about, oh, he's not actually. No, no satisfaction. We're just on this fucking weird-ass trip with all of them. Makes no sense. It's too long. They should have done this for three quarters of this episode because, again, we're just, We know he's not actually dead.

So just do it for three quarters the episode. Why are they stretching out this plot line for so long? Because now we are seeing that the Stoneys, which we're now calling them apparently in Riverdale, the children of Stonewall Prep are black, not blackmailing. What is it? What is it? What is it? Framing. Framing.

They're framing Betty for Jughead's murder. Because last couple weeks ago, they were at a toga party. And then they brought Betty, they brought Jughead who was in a bunny mask because he wanted to kill Brett into the forest. And then Betty shows up and then Betty goes into the forest. And then she sees Donna. And Donna's like, yeah, but Evelyn Ever and Ever told us this one thing that could make you fugue. But what she didn't say is that it was actually a drug called the devil's breath that makes her fugue. Right.

So we, they've been, nothing Riverdale loves more than to lead us one way and then take us in a totally different direction, which I get is like what mysteries do. But at a certain point, it's like, you know what, fuck off Riverdale because it's just too much. It's like if everything is getting the rug pulled out from under you, then what am I even, where am I even standing, right? And so yeah, they're like, oh, it's a fugue state, tangerine, tangerine, tangerine, no, we know another word. And so we spent the last two weeks thinking, okay, Betty fugged and maybe she killed Jughead or at least that's what they want us to think. But or is Betty in on it? Or is Jughead and Betty trying to get back at the Stonewall Kids, which is what Gideon's theory is. Or, you know, what actually is happened?

And then in this episode, yeah, we get, they call, we find out that the kids called Charles right away. They did, none of them got their stories straight. And then Betty remembers that she actually got this devil's breath dust blown in her face right before whatever happened to Jughead. And so Betty's like, I think I might have killed him. Dark Betty, bang, but bang, but bang. And then Veronica's like, I've seen Dark Betty. And it's just an absolute mess. It's all an absolute mess.

No one in Riverdale trusts anybody. So that was the first thing. So we start this episode, they told the entire truth to Charles. Now, these are three people that have been embroiled in many a crime ring before. You always get your stories straight. I know. You always get your stories straight. No matter what.

If you are burning clothes of a murder you are trying to cover up, you get your stories straight. I know. The fact that none of them have been like, okay, what's our cover story? So then, of course, there are three teenagers who all live with their parents. And so they come home in the middle of the night, and their parents are like, where were you and why are you covered in blood? And wear your clothes. And they're all naked and they're like,

uh, uh, and they didn't even think to coordinate their stories. I will say though, Ronnie and Archie's stories are, I was just like, what are they going to say? What are they going to say?

We're very well done teen stories because Veronica was like, I was playing strip poker and then these bastards stole my clothes. And then Archie was like, yeah, mom, we're going like skinny dipping and those guys stole my

clothes like that both of those i could see because they're hanging out with pieces of shit and then betty said something about who she spilled a wine all over which clearly blood on her and you know what betty if you can tell anyone this information it's alice cooper y'all have killed a dude together you'll have buried another body together y'all have beat out and bested a cult together you can tell your mother what's going on in this situation don't tell charles because mollie i still Don't trust that FBI agent. I don't fucking trust him. No.

Who is Charles? He's some grown man who's now trying to help all three children cover up a murder. And he's an FBI agent. And he's like, oh, okay, let's bug these other children's room. And I'll help you guys cover up this murder. Who the fuck is Charles? Who the fuck is Charles? Also, don't forget our hashtag never forget that he is in cahoots with chick.

other fake brother in jail. And that is my never forget. He is talking to Chick. Just like Evelyn Ever never keeps coming back, Chick is not seen but not forgotten. That's very good point. Charles is bad. This season is too long because it's been like 27 episodes

since we saw Chick. So how am I supposed to remember that? And the thing is, is that there's so many more episodes left. There are so many more episodes left. I have no... But then... So I am assuming, just to go back to the overall thing,

that Jughead is writing this script for the Baxter Brothers novel thing, right? Because he's narrating the entire thing. So which would also... I'm assuming unless Hiram... Like, I'm figured that Hiram is going to have to be brought into this somehow because I think that Hiram's disease

is a lie. Yeah, I decided that today too. Yeah, his disease is a lie. His disease is a lie. And, like, I don't know what he's trying to do with his will, but the fact that he's forcing Veronica to like Edmursat now, even though she is still being a quote, Suspicious, suspicious, suspicious, like Veronica called her. Man, if she, I love how much they hate each other.

I'm really like, I'm completely on board with how much they hate each other. I also loved how much they were calling each other bitches in this episode. Wow. They don't like each other. And all daddy wants is for them to get along because now that everyone in the family, even though no one's talking about it, says that Hiram is dying. But I don't think he is. No. And I'll tell you this.

If he's not faking it, I'm going to be fucking pissed. Because the only way this is a good plot line is if he's faking it. Because if he's not faking it, and he really is just, like, suffering from a terrible degenerative disease. And then after, oh, years of trying to murder Veronica's friends, Veronica's just like, Daddy, I just love you. And I just want to help. I just cannot deal with Veronica's constantly repairing her relationship with her father. No, I can't either. And now the fact, which, Molly, we have to talk about it at some point because we didn't talk about it in the big girl episode.

So we're going to have to bring it up. Oh, no. Because now we know that FP and Hermione Lodge are not coming back for next season. What I will say at least is that I'm assuming that they are not going to be killed off because all of the articles I've read seem that Marisol Nichols and Skeet Allrich are leaving the show next season to do other projects. And even the showrunner said that they would be welcome back any time. So I'm assuming that they are not going to kill them off. But does that mean that they like run off together? Because again, I'd watch that tape.

I'd watch that tape. Right. I'd watch that tape more than any other parental combination, I think. I mean, although Alice Cooper and F.P. We now know that they all live together as a family. But we get no smooches. We get no sex between them. Yeah, they all live together as a family.

And nobody was interested in either. even calling the police when Jughead was missing for three days because they were like, we told his dad, his dad's the sheriff. And his dad just like, Betty, you add his phone. But right, I don't need to skip over the tragic news that Skeet and Marisol Nichols are leaving. And I do not know if I want to watch Riverdale if Skeet Ulrich is not there. I'm sorry. I'm putting it out there.

I don't even know if I want to watch Riverdale right now. But I'm pretty sure. I don't know. I know even less if I'm going to want to watch it once Skeedle Rick isn't there because he was only in this episode for like two minutes and I needed more. I need, I always want more of him. And now it's just without our sexy daddies, who do we look to? What do we look to for touch?

I mean, we have Sheriff Keller. Yeah, Sheriff Keller looks good. I know you look to Jughead. Jughead is still, he will just always be the kid from Big Daddy to me. And so I need the teen from scream, not the child from Big Daddy. Can I confess? I have a confession to make. Okay.

I don't think I want to have sex with a drughead anymore. I don't think I wanted to have sex with him for a long time. Wow. Thank you for telling me. This is big for me. I think that the, I think, honestly, the second would really change was the beginning of the end for me. Was him not being a serpent anymore? I hate preppy

I hate like I don't want Like even like rebel in the preppy world I hate it because if he was a real fucking serpent I'm gonna go ahead and say it If he was a real fucking serpent He never would have gone to that fucking prep school He doesn't fucking need it If you're gonna be a real rebel

You don't go even just to like go and be like I'm gonna show them how to really write Hell no you're not a real fucking rebel You're just one with a with a bullshit Take that serpent jacket off then you bastard and they even find him and I know that they put the jacket back on him

at the end when he's going to go and he's going to go stab bread at the party but you know what? Too little too fucking late. Yeah, so I was going to ask about that and I hate to jump all over this episode but the episode makes no fucking sense so let's jump all over the place because there's not even four plot lines

that are coherent enough to discuss. Let's jump. But what they find him at the end do they find his jacket or do they find his body? They obviously found his body was in the morgue but I thought that in that shot when they're like,

oh we found something I only saw his jacket I think that no because I remember seeing the um the suspendies that were down around his waist because I always look for that to make sure it's really jughead okay what I love is so I like I think it was on the vulture review I believe it's one of these reviews that I like to look at that brings up that in the trailer for next week's episode what they noticed is that Jughead's body is not in the casket

because the whole the preview for next week's episode is that like they're all under arrest skit comes in like it's like the jughead's funeral they show the picture and they show the open casket and there's no body in it

All right never attacking see this see I think next week's episode is going to get back into it all. I think they're just stretching it out too far. I'm going to, I think that everyone is in on this as a way to take down Stonewall Prep, right? So, yeah, I think so too. That's the only possible explanation. And if that's the case, then that's fine. But don't give me a whole episode with zero satisfaction that we needed to have some sort of twist at the end that was some

satisfaction. There was no twist. It was just these two bitches y'all are at each other in the woods. And but right, it has to be that they're all in on it to get back at Stonewall Prep because none of them, Betty, Veronica, or Archie are even remotely sad the Jughead is dead. Not even at all. Like, not even a single tier. Although Betty does seem freaked out that she thinks that she might have killed him unless unless she's faking that too. But it's also selfish, though.

And you know what I will say? Betty is not that selfish of a character. Not to give, maybe I'm giving too much to the Riverdale writers here, but I feel like Betty would have been, like, same with Skeet Ulrich. He would have been beside himself if his boy died. Like, I think that it wouldn't even just be a conversation. Like, I think he would have beat Betty into the ground if he knew that she did this.

You know what I mean? Totally. That conversation, right. So there's a scene where Jughead is missing for like three days. And I don't know how exactly how long it is, but it's long enough that F.P. says my missing son. And so Alice and F.P.

called Betty into the living room in their weird home that they all live together in. For some reason. And they're like, why is Junkhead's phone in your pocket? She didn't know it was in her pocket. But then she realizes that the Stonewall people framed her. And Betty, the whole time is mostly mad about Stonewall. She's like, I'm not going to let them win, all this stuff. Like, that's where her emotion is.

None of it is about Jack and being dead. Right. But if they're, like, let's game this out. If, if they are doing this to Framestone Wall Prep, who's in on it? Because is, if, is FP in on it? Because, right, his reaction to his son being missing was totally unrealistic. And not that this movie, this television show is based in reality by any means, but at least they over-dramatized emotions.

So he would take it to the nth degree and do something insane. Right. Which I don't, I think that that character would say. still do no matter what. That's the thing. It's unrealistic for the reality that we're in. I'm not saying it has to be realistic for actual reality, but like anyone who's done improv knows. Oh, yes, I'm right. If I don't mind if I do. You have to have consistent rules, even if you're in an alternate reality. Otherwise, it's just like, you can't rely on anything. You can't hang your head on anything. You can't make jokes if there's no consistency. So in the world of River,

It is not realistic. It is Riverdale. That's what we love about it. But at least in that world, there still has to be some semblance of a consistent reality. If now we're in a reality in Riverdale where FP doesn't really care that his son is missing, that is not realistic to the world of Riverdale. No. But what is realistic to the world of Riverdale is that this entire time, Charles is trying to help Betty take down Stonewall Prep. And so what do they do?

They think of all like their usual antics. So Betty goes in and then puts a tap inside of Brett and old Jughead's room to try to a wire tap to try and get something that they say recorded in their room. But of course, the thing that she uses is a big bulging thing with a blinking red light on it that's underneath the table. You don't think that maybe when all the lights go off in a place that maybe someone's, might see the wire tap under the table. And so and also again, Charles, allegedly a real FBI agent is just like, oh yeah, I'll help you cover up this murder and I'll give you a bug and then I'll help you listen to these children in their room with my with my bug.

What is going on? Again, there's been, we've already had FBI, not FBI, in this very show. There's already been a fake FBI. agent who was like setting up Archie. He's fake FBI. He has to be fake FBI. He has to be. He's either fake FBI or he's, I mean, just such a like monstrously incompetent, like, FBI

with no oversight. He doesn't even be doing anything else except helping Betty. No, unless he was an ex-FBI that got kicked out of the FBI and then sometime down the line, we'll find out why. And he's still pretending to be FBI. So it's a slightly different FBI, not FBI plot than the previous. Because I still, I have, I really, in my booms, feel like he is the one that was videotaping people from across the street with the VHSs. Because another, my never forget.

I don't know why I'm still stuck on it. I think it's because it actually creeps me out. And I'm so desperately hoping that they come back to that plot line because that is very scary. Yeah, that was a good, spooky in the reality. of Riverdale plot line and they just totally just just hit us on the head with it and then ran away and I'm so sad because yeah that was like a good like season four started off real promising ooh someone's taping the houses why and now we're just over here like why aren't any of them sad that Jughead's dead so they're obviously not sad that Jughead's dead because they're all in on it

but what is the theory here do we think that all four of them are in on it or do we think that only Betty and Jughead are in on it and Archie and Veronica aren't? But why would, again, back to the question I posed earlier, why would Veronica, or I guess maybe if they moved the body, then Veronica and Archie would get covered in blood?

Yeah, but how do they get the body out? Like, all, like, Donna and Brett are now like, oh, what happened? But they were all just at this party together. So, like, what did, how do, like, we'd expect that the four of them

the three of them dragged Jughead's body out and nobody at the party saw? I guess. They are in the Quill and Scroll Woods. So because then that's what happened. So they put in the wiretap and then obviously Brett and Donna realizes there's a wiretap in the room and they talk into it at

Charles and then they realize, okay, that's bad. So then Betty sends in Archie oh no, this is where the wiretap is still in the room. Betty sends in Archie and Archie just keeps screaming, You killed Jughead as he's like beating up Brett. And then of course, Brett's very sharp comeback is, all right, Elmo, which I did laugh at. I did enjoy the fact that he called him Elmo. And you even saying that Jughead is dead at this point in time is very incriminating because no one is even talking about the death of Jughead yet.

He is still just missing. So Archie, you just incriminated yourself. even further, which is what we realize they're doing. Brett and Donna are figuring out what their next moves are going to be to get them even more incriminated as time goes on in this episode. So all four of them are now involved in this murder 1,000 percent. So what does Betty do? Bad Betty, what does she do?

She flips the stretch on them. And she leads FP and a search party to the body of Jughead where they find him. in the woods, even though her prince and everything are all over it. And that, oh man, because you know what you didn't realize? You know what you didn't realize? Donna? Betty's the wild card.

When she called yourself a wild card, I laughed for two minutes straight. Because I'm a wild card. You don't know what I'm going to be. It made me think of, they see that part of it did bring me back to O.G. Riverdale with the like, I'm a weirdo. I'm weird.

See this hat I'm wearing? I'm weird. It makes me think of that where it's like, you forget I'm a wild card. So maybe F. Okay, so my theory about that scene where they're in the morgue is that they're in there, Betty and F.P. They're all sad. They're looking at Jughead's body, and we see Jughead's head in the shot. So we know that Jughead is in there.

But then, what's his face? Donna and Brett. Brett bust into the room. And then Betty's like, get out! And they push them out. So are they still faking it? Is F.P. in on it? Is Jughead just lying there alive?

And the reason they push Donna and Brett out the room is to be like, you can't, and the pretense is, oh, how dare you? But really, they don't want them in there because Jughead's in there alive, not actually dead? Very possible. Actually, yes. That was the only moment that I even felt. like in this episode that they were even giving us a like maybe this is like a little breadcrumb for what's actually happening. Yeah, I think that is what it is that I think that FP must be in on it because there had to be a reason when Archie even said, even though it's like, I know I think it also

could be like the book thing that when Archie's like, we have to have FP be the one that finds the body. Remember for the search party? Like we have to have like I remember that because they kept saying that like FP has to be the one that finds the body. So it must be that FP isn't on it. Uh-huh. But why? Why? Why would FP maybe isn't on it because he hates Stonewall Prep too and he wants to get

revenge and he did decide to be a serpent cop. Oh, don't leave us, Daddy. No. Don't leave us. I don't know if I can watch it without him. I'm even just thinking about him being a cop. But then with the serpents, Jack. on fuck.

Ah! What are we going to do? He can't leave the show. We need to write letters. Everyone, together. Let's write letters. I don't know who we need to write letters to. We have to keep him.

So maybe he's like, oh, you guys ousted by, because they call it the Stonewall five. They said now Jughead's part of the Stonewall Five, right? Five. Because it used to be the Stonewall Four. It had been the Stonewall Four. Never forget. At the beginning, ten years ago when the season started, they were like, oh, Oh, there's these four people who are just missing from Stonewall.

And F.P.'s father was one of them. So maybe that's why F.P. wants to be in on it because he's trying to solve, either he's acting in the capacity of a sheriff trying to solve a bigger crime. Ooh. Or he is acting in the capacity of a serpent trying to just get some revenge. Ooh. See, I like that. That is also a possibility because I forgot, you know, the 20, years ago when we were talking about all of the grandparents being involved in this season,

that it could have something to do with that. Right. Because we did see FP's father come in and be like, oh, I'm actually just like a sad, drunk guy. And then he left. But then he disappeared. So was that actually Forsyth? Right.

Maybe it wasn't actually Forsyth. Right. Yeah, this has got to be what's it. FP's got to be in on it. That was what I hadn't figured out last night. I was like, obviously all four of them are in on it, even though we're, we're seeing these scenes where they're all alone and if they were all in on it, they would be talking to each other about it, but they're not because they have to make

us think that they're not in on it, but they are. But like, FP must be in on it. Yes. So FB is in on it, even though the Stonies are definitely trying to frame them for murder. And then, which I love to when Kevin comes as like, hey guys, they're like, get away, Kevin. And you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, come back, Kevin. Working on a musical, A, which also terror.

I'm so scared about this headwink. episode. I don't know when the headwig episode is coming. I think it's coming up pretty soon. I, like, my chest hurts thinking about it. And Kevin did say he's working on it. But I think that I had brought it up in, I think I brought up in our big girl episode that the headwig episode, it's that the, I think Principal Honey says that you can't do headwig. And so then they all do headwig, which I just, oh, ouch. I'm not going to be. heard already because you guys are going to have to hear me oh man I'm gonna

I'm already preparing you for how much I'm going to rant about that episode yeah yeah I just can't I don't even know how we're going to have a musical episode when Jughead's dead I I don't know and I think that it's got he's not dead we all know he's not he's not you can't like why we we don't hear that jughead you got nothing else going on right it's a frustrating plot line because we just know it would that it wouldn't happen And because anyone that thinks that it actually did happen, it's like, you know, come on, think about it for a second. I am happy about the, I actually do enjoy the fact that Dumbo and Dumbella, Archie and Veronica are like, wait, do you think maybe Betty did do it?

And I love that they're like half concerned about maybe she did do it. Because like, Molly, if I thought that you maybe killed somebody, like if I thought you killed Holden, which you know what, I'd understand. If I thought you bludgeoned him to death and I was just like, well, let's like, I need, I think I'd have to ask at least two more questions to make sure you didn't do it. Because essentially they asked her if she did it. And Betty's like, I don't know if I did it or not. It's like, well, that's not convincing. You do fug. Bitch, we all know you fugue.

But that's what I don't get. If they're all in on it, why are the three of them having these private conversations where if they were all in on it, they could be like, oh, we're all in on it. But instead, all three of them are alone having conversations being like, oh, fuck, did Betty do this? Maybe Archie and Veronica aren't in on it. But then why are they acting so weird? My brain hurts. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know what they want from us. We are in such a weird stalemate that I wish that this had been a very long episode because I need more. I feel like I've got, I have Riverdale blue balls, like I've got blue and yellow balls. And I don't know what to do with myself. Yes, it's very much a blue balls episode. We got no satisfaction from this plotline. Again, the last scene is just Betty and Donna standing in the woods calling each other bitches. Like, I don't even know why they're mad at each other.

Like, the stakes are... Please, she's a wild card. The stakes are so high. But like, what does Donna even have to do with this? It's just, it's like Riverdale trying to have high stakes without earning the highest stakes. And they usually do, which is why I'm so disappointed. Yes. And Donna's a fucking bitch.

So we had postulated in past Riverdale Roundups, and this was all you, Molly, and I think that I support you, that Brett might not be the mastermind behind all of this, that it is, in fact, Donna. So do you think that this is like a girl's thing? Because then you also notice, Joan, which did we ever know Joan had a name? Joan was the one that bumped into her and put the phone in her pocket. And when she went to go, when she put Jughead's phone in her pocket, because they obviously had, like, aren't there cameras on this property? Don't preparatory schools have cameras? Isn't that part of it?

I don't know. I only ever went to public school. Yeah. I truly don't know what Donna's deal is. Like, at least Brett is like, you know, like an asshole who, like, is very threatened. There's some amount of character development for Brett. He's threatened by Jughead because Jughead's a better writer than him. him, whatever.

He's like a very poorly developed character, but at least I could tell you like one thing about Brett. I can't tell you the first thing about Donna. I don't know anything about her. So why do her and Betty hate each other so much? Is it that, does Donna want to bang jughead or something? Like there's just no character development there.

So then ending the episode with them standing in the woods calling each other bitches, it's just like, I don't even know why you bitches are mad at each other. But they mad. That is one thing we do know. They don't like each other. And I will give it to Donna. she does the fuck out of a bitch face.

That girl has a bitch face. I want to punch her. I get it. I do want to see her being taken down. The same with like the casting in this is incredible. Brett and Donna both have such fucking bitch faces. I want to punch him in the face. And all I can hope for maybe is that mercenary uncle daddy.

Mercenary uncle daddy comes to the rescue bringing a bunch of mercenaries. Take out everybody in the school. Yeah. Remember the mercenary plot line from like two weeks ago? that's now totally over. Two weeks ago, wasn't that long ago? Not that long ago. No, now Archie has a totally different parental strife issue going on at home, which is that

his mom has a girlfriend, and it's just totally fine and not even... I mean, Riverdale is cool. One thing I've always loved about Riverdale is that they just, like, have a lot of gay characters, and it's not like a whole thing, so it's fine. But it's just like, it was just such an afterthought. It was just like, oh, there's this whole murder cover-up episode, and then also I have a girlfriend, And Archie's like, okay, I don't have time for this. Okay.

I just, um, it's too, I would say maybe, um, maybe it might be too soon. I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that she is either dating a, a, whatever gender she's dating. I think just, um, I mean, he, Archie is still, like he just named the community center after his father and he's also running a construction company and he's also going to school and now you're like trying to force him into the Navy because you happen to be bopping the person that puts them in the Navy. They used to be friends, I guess because I think they were both in the Navy. And I just, it's just too suit. Maybe like wait until you're like really dating

this person because your husband did just die. So why don't we just hold off for a sec? The counterpoint to that is that they weren't together. But you are right to say that Archie has really been through a lot lately. He's really, he's been told by a bear. His father has been killed. He had this mercenary try to kill him, just like last week. Like a couple of weeks ago. Yeah.

So you might want to focus on getting your son some therapy before you send him off into the Naval Academy. And also, didn't he like already try to get into the Naval Academy for boxing? I thought we already did Naval Academy, not Naval Academy. We did Naval Academy, not Naval Academy, because that's what he brought up. And she's like, yeah, but you did have that endurance. Welcome to the Naval Academy. No, no, no, no.

I've known a couple of people that have gone into Naval Academies before. It's very difficult. And let alone, like, you know, all, you know, Jughead got into Yale just by, you know, and then Betty got into Yale by winning the quiz show. Like, you know, there are ideas of how difficult it is to get into college. It is a little bit off center. But you know what?

I do appreciate that Barnard is at least. at least reconsidering Veronica's entry into Barnard because she is running an underage. Speak easy called the Maple Club. And I think that it's for the best that they relook at it for a second. Who do you think ratted out of Veronica? I wonder if the Hiram, like the whole thing where Hiram is trying to get Armosa and Ronnie to be friends and that he's working on his will and that he's quote unquote about to die, I think that it is all a ruse to get them to work together.

And I think eventually this is going to push Hermosa and Ronnie to work together against her father. Uh-huh. All right. Yep. That's a plot line. And I hate to say it, but I don't know if I, I just think that Hermosa, the actress, she is a delight, but I think that they're really not right and not her very well. No, she's just like a silent bitch.

Like she doesn't say, anything. I don't even know why we hate her Mosa. Same reason I don't even know why we hate Donna. I think that we just hate her Mosa because she talks like that. And I think we immediately just hate her. But also it's because she looks like she's 35. I'm pretty sure she's 35. I think she is 35. She's got to be. And I think it is the difference of acting with 21, 22 year olds. Same with when they did the Katie Keene crossover, which I haven't been able to bring myself to watch Katie Keene yet. Yeah, me neither.

Because I know this, it shouldn't. And I know that I should be able to jump from world to world. But it hurts my brain that they took Josie from high school. And now we're supposed to, I think, assume that they're all in their mid-20s. And it does hurt my brain a little bit because now it's like, this is New York. And I keep seeing the trailer for it. I'm like, I should like all of these things. I need to just watch a couple of episodes just to check it out.

Yeah, yeah. If you do and then you like it, then I will check it out. I'll let you know. Yeah, Michelle Prada, who plays out Mosa, is 30 years old. Only 30. And she doesn't look old. She just looks closer and age to Hermione on the show. I think it's also the way she's dressed.

Yeah, she just, right. It feels like a woman who's 30 is fighting with a person who's 16. and that doesn't make any sense. No, and it definitely takes me out of it. But I guess we should stop talking about it because, you know, guys, we all got blue balls this week. Yeah, we're too mad to talk. I don't think we even missed out anything

because it was a rough week for Riverdale. But I, even though we are desperately, desperately upset, if they kill off FP, I'm going to die. I can't. Then I really will, I will write a letter. I will write multiple letters. I can't. You know what?

I think that Hermione has had, like, I think that she's been dancing with the devil for a long time, so it would make more sense if she gets killed off. Not that I don't love her, because I do love her and I love watching her sex scenes of Hiram. But I need FP in my life. Yeah. Yeah. I, yeah. I mean, none of them are going to have any parents when FB and Hermione go. But maybe they'll all go to college.

Oh? Maybe they'll all go to college. Who knows what's going to happen in the zany world of Riverdale, guys. But we will definitely be back next week with next week's episode. I just, I don't, I, I'm in a rough place. I have no, emotionally. I have no idea what the future looks like. But we do know where we are right now.

And old Betty, dark Betty is back. Thank you guys so much for joining us. We will be back next week with Riverdale. Season 4, Episode 15 to die for. Watch the trailer, though, because you can definitely see that his body is not in the casket. We love you so much. Thank you for joining us.

And if we don't see kisses next week, I have got a lot of threats, okay? And we better see some fucking kisses next week. I need them. I'm dry. I'm dry as a Sahara. This was a kiss-free episode. Kiss fucking free.

I love you. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. My name is Molly Duffel. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to,

go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.