Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Chapter 72: Mystery Not Mystery

Episode Date: March 11, 2020

We recap "Chapter 72: To Die For" and we are mad about the bad writing but we're not mad about the possibility that Brett is in love with Archie (kiss, kiss, kiss)Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon to get weekly bonus podcasts! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Molly is what do we do when we get technically what we asked for. And yet still, I left this episode just being like, okay, Riverdale. All right, guys, we are talking this today. We're talking about season four, episode 15, to die for. We are, it is Jughead's funeral. It is the making of now Alice Smith. Now, back to Alice Smith, not Alice Cooper, Betty's mom, is making a documentary called murder in a small town about Jughead's murder. And we are trying to figure out what's going on with, is Jughead really dead? Spoiler alert, not spoiler alert.

He's fucking not dead. Of course. Yes. I will say, Jackie texted me last night saying that she was about to throw her TV out the window because of Riverdale. And then I had not yet watched the episode. So then I sat down to watch it this morning

and I started it and I saw that Alice was making a documentary about the burner and I was like, I kind of like this. I love that. But then by that I was like, oh, okay, I see why Jackie was so bad. I just, you know what it was a buildup? Because I was wrestling with myself. Because again, this is what we asked for. We asked for them like, okay, get out of it.

We know that Jughead's not dead. What really happened? Let's get into it. But I guess it's Jughead. You know, it's not Jughead. It's Riverdale. It's Riverdale, Jackhead. And I was expecting something a lot more spectacular than what was going on. But then, Molly Neffel, is it not what we've been asking for is to go back to the first season of just teens and detective?

Technical? This is what we want. You know? Just teen. We have been asking for teen antics, but I think the difference is that, you know, you know, we're not. that in the first season, the stakes were very clear. It was like, oh, this beloved star of high school that everybody knows and loves has been killed or dead and he's dead. And what happened?

We have to figure it out. Was it you? Was it you? Ooh, high stakes. The stakes of this plot line made no sense because it turns out that it was just high schoolers fucking with each other, which is great, but why? I still don't even know why they're doing this. Just to fuck with each other?

Don't. No, I think that it's just to fuck with each other. I think it's because Jughead got kicked out, so they, you know, got kicked out of Stonewall Prap, and it's all that. And I think they wanted to, like, teach them a lesson about bullying people, which... But, like, I'm sorry, but when you teach someone a lesson in high school, you, al-a-sa-by-the-bell, like, kidnap their mascot.

You don't fake your own death for, like, weeks, like two weeks. I guess. That's a long time. So, all right, let's lay this out. So what really happened in the woods? Right. What really happened in the woods? Yeah, I still don't know the answer to that either.

That's the thing. We, like, quote, unquote, got our answers. I still have no idea what happened, why it happened. So Jonathan, who is now Jonathan is either dead and or, kicked out of Stonewall Prep because now we know that Jonathan is gone, which I didn't know Jonathan was a character. I'm assuming it's one of the four people in the Stonewall Prep group. I think Jonathan was the one who got Jughead's writing contract after Jughead lost it, I think. Because he was the one that put Jughead's blood on the rock that FP found that was like, oh, we found the blunt force

trauma thing that did it cover Jughead's blood. So Donna said, but Jonathan put the blood from Jugget himself on that rock. And of course, we remember that Betty put in fake rock for the real rock. So she got rid of the real rock that was covered in Jughead's blood and put fake blood on it and submitted that as evidence instead. Rock not rock. Rock not rock. And Rock not rock is now, like, because Donna has her sources and they know that the blood on

it wasn't real. So they don't know what happened to the real rock. So they brought it. So essentially, they brought Jughead out to the forest. They hit him in the head with said rock. But they didn't kill him. They just hit him enough so that he would bleed. And then they were going to blame the death, quote unquote, on Betty.

Right. So I'm so glad we're talking about what actually happened. Because, right, we learned at the end that Jughead is alive. He's got his hat. He doesn't have his hat. And he's like, oh, it's a good thing. My beanie cushioned the blow. So we do know that he was hit at the head with a rock.

Yes. And we assume that the river, the Stodys did it. So they lured Betty out and Jughead and Betty were out in the woods doing the nasty, right? No, Jughead was out there. Remember because he had the bunny mask on and the knife and he brought Brett out into the forest. Okay, right. And then Donna brings up Betty. Yes.

And then she fugues her, fugues her, fugues her. She fugs her. she thinks she makes Betty think it was a magic word, but it was really some fucking devil's breath. Devil's breath. And Betty loses time. And so what apparently actually happened is that the Stonies actually did try to kill Jughead with a rock.

Right. Or did they just try to hurt him badly so that he was unconscious, which could still be called attempted murder. I think if you hit someone in the head with a rock so hard that they go unconscious. Yes. You could have definitely killed him. And then they take his blood, Jonathan, whoever that is, took Jughead's blood from this said bashing over the head and planted it as evidence within Betty's hands. Betty didn't remember any of this.

And so then Betty wakes up. But then here's where I lose the thread. Has Betty been pretending, even though we've seen Betty, like, alone? Has Betty been pretending to be scared this whole time that she actually did it? Yes. Because she knows she didn't do it? It makes no sense. The first thing I thought of.

So, all right. So what we find, we end up finding out in this episode that there are a bunch of people that are aware of the fact that Jughead is actually alive. These people are FP. They are all the main four, Mrs. Andrews, and Dr. Curdle Jr. Dr. Curdle Jr. who helped fake an autopsy all to get back at a fucking rival high school. And Charles. So this is also what we're saying. So we go back two episodes ago when Charles is trying to help them hide the box.

Okay, so they're hiding jugget in the bunker, right? That's fine. I'm so bad. I'm mad at it. I'm mad at it because it should have been, you know what? I'm saying this. It should have been written better. It should, if you're going to make this conspiracy thing, it should, then you should be able to go back three episodes and be like, oh, that's why that was happening.

Oh, that's why that was happening. And that's not what was happening. There is no way that this plot line, quote unquote, would hold up to scrutiny if you went back and watched the previous three episodes. Because there are scenes where Betty and Charles are alone and Betty is acting like, oh, did I do this? But if they're both in on it, why is she keeping up the charade with somebody else who's in on it? Why are there so many scenes of the three of them, Betty, Junk and Veronica, they're all in on it? And the last episode was like 100% scenes of the three of them being upset. And yeah, granted, you could probably go back and be like, oh, they were actually upset about that they were faking junkheads death, not upset.

But like, it is trash to have, like, to not set it up so that there's at least shouldn't have ever been a scene where all the people who were in on it were alone together. Because then if they were alone together, they would have been like, oh, let's talk about this scheme we're doing. We're definitely faking this. Yes. And especially down to the fact that so FP interrogates all three of them in this episode. So they come in and you're like, you're under the arrest for the murder of Jughead Jones. Yeah, the interrogations. And then they interrogates all three of them with the parents that also know what's going on.

And three interrogations happen when everybody in the room is in on it? Did they just do that for the quote-unquote security cameras? I guess what I would say, though, if my kid was faking a death, and doing this like conspiracy thing to take down these bad kids. I'd probably get pretty into it. I'd be like, oh yeah, you wouldn't interrogate me? Where was I the scene of the crime? You know, I'd probably get very into it and I get it.

But does Mrs. Andrews have the time? You know, it's like she doesn't have the time to do this. The time nor the interest, the whole thing with the Andrews family is that they're so earnest. Like, Mary Andrews is not going to be like, yeah, Archie, all engage in this two week long. ruse involving the death of a child? Yeah, let's do it. That's out of character. It's very out of character.

So, all right, so this entire episode, guys, we don't even find out that Jughead is live until three quarters of the way through this episode. That is what I wanted to throw my television out of the window. And so it's still this back and forth of Donna and Betty trying to capture each other in the lie. Because Donna keeps saying, you guys are all lying

Jughead's really alive and Betty's like What are you talking about Donna? Jughead isn't alive Donna But I mean I will I'll always love dark Betty And I think about you Molly Every time I hear dark Betty

So they are combating each other Even though we all know that jug heads alive And they're going through the whole motions of the trial And even though FBI the sheriff of the town, which also, again, if he didn't quit in this episode, he would definitely lose his job for doing this with a bunch of kids to get back at two other kids.

He doesn't even have a problem with. It's not like it was a serpent. Like, this was the thing. Remember, like, I think that they might have fired all of the writers who wrote the first four episodes of the season and then brought in a whole bunch of new writers who didn't watch the first four episodes of this season because there was all these seeds planted.

I know this is just Riverdale, But like there was a scene, a great scene this season between FP and Alice where he was like, oh, I don't want to be a sheriff under Hiram Lodge. And she's like, well, what if you're a serpent sheriff? And we hear at Riverdale Roundup, we're like, yeah, yeah, be a bad sheriff. Be a bad sheriff. So I guess this is an example of him being a bad sheriff. But like, again, what stake does FP have in this? I know he doesn't like Stonewall Prep.

But like, is he really going to like orchestrate the death of his own son to get back at two people who, again, I don't even quite know what the issue is? No, I think that it's something to do. I think they just, I think they just don't like each other. And I think that they know, oh, I mean, I guess like they have like the sex tape and stuff like that. But they know that Donna and Brett are bad. So they're trying to take them down to Chinatown for some reason. And I guess, I mean, they did also did hit him in the head with the rock in hopes that. And I think, oh, no, it's because of all of the murders of the other teachers.

Remember when not Mr. Chipping, but the other teacher that threw himself out the window in front of everyone. And she was like, he was having sex with me. And I love it that Donna again turned on the fireworks. Fireworks? Waterworks. When Effie comes into her room and she's like, Betty is the one that I'm scared of Betty. you know what, Donna's killing it now. I know that we used to give her a lot of shit, but as someone that is doing camp bad girl,

she's killing it. She is, yes, she is. I still don't understand why she is doing this. No, I don't understand why. So, right, so there is all this conspiracy darkness in the Stonewall Prep universe. They are framing these young teachers and then causing them to jump out the window.

Is that why? I just don't know. And then, so, so Brett, and Donna show up to, they decide to have Jughead's funeral, which also, if I found out that I went to a funeral, not funeral after thinking that the person was dead, I'd be pretty fucking pissed. Because most of Riverdale doesn't know that this is a ruse. So they all show up at Jughead's funeral. And my favorite talk about horrible funeral decorum, Donna comes in guns blazing, that man, he's not dead, he's on bed. pointing fingers at his little sister screaming at his little sister about how he's not dead,

which, girl, I would have, if someone did that, if I had a little sister and someone did that to them at a funeral, I'd fucking deck her all the way out the door. And then Brett tries to push the casket over to show that there's nothing in the casket, which fair. There's nothing in the casket. Good move, Brett. And we also were right last week when Jughead was on the table and they didn't want them to come in. Molly, you were completely correct. That they didn't want them to come in to see if because Jughead actually was alive on the table, which good call.

Thank you. So they get kicked out of the funeral because you really, you're not supposed to push over a casket. Shock. I know that's like a new thing. And maybe I should write some sort of like, you know, countrywoman's weekender article about it. but you're not supposed to put them for a gasket, especially at the funeral of a teen. But again, there was a scene between, oh, I guess Alice wasn't in on it.

There was a scene between Alice, FP, and Betty, where Betty was like, I think it's time to have a funeral so we could have closure, Mr. Jones, and he's like, if you are too, Betty. And they're all in on it, but I guess Alice wasn't. So that, when I retract by criticism. But now everyone is in on it because I do. love the murder in a small town documentary hosted by Alice Smith, Alice, I want to say nay Cooper every time, but that would be the opposite, but by Alice Cooper. And it reminded

me of a mixture between the Blair Witch Project and Scream. Or like Scream to, or no, scream, the first scream, which, please get, if this is going to be some sort of homage to scream. Please, please, please, please, please. Please, please, please. I feel like it was a nod to like true crime, right? Like, it reminded me of like the very, very, very good show American Vandal, which is a spoof on like the crime documentary where you have like a burner board and like what happened. Like I feel like that's what I like that's a great, when Riverdale like spoofs things that are like aspects of pop culture like, yes, please. That's why the breakfast club episode is so fun. That's why you know, that's why like,

these like theme immersive theme episodes they do can be really fun so i was like oh a fun like true crime documentary episode yes it's just that the crime this reminds me of when i was a kid and i like wanted to be a writer and so i would write like novels because i had a lot of time on my hands and i would like write like a i would write like mystery but i didn't know how to like actually develop a mystery so i would just write prose that like sounded like it was a mystery but there was no actual underlying mystery that's what this episode is Molly, are you confessing Did you write this season of Riverdale?

Are you trying to say, I know you've got the two young kids, it's difficult to focus on the plot. Like, I get that. If there's one thing I could do, it's make something sound like a mystery when there is zero underlying plot to have a mystery about.

Mystery, no mystery. And also, Charles was not. This is definitely mystery, no mystery. And Charles was not in this episode either. So I do wonder, Molly, will it tie back in now that we've got camcorder footage back in? Because I know I'm going to bring it up every fucking week until someone it acknowledges me. It does have something to do with the tapes from across the street. Is it have anything to do with the tapes from across the street?

What happened to the tapes from across the street? Who made the tapes? It's very creepy. I'm very intrigued. But also, Alice Cooper is using an. almost archaic form of making a video using a little handheld camcorder when, I mean, we just saw the Lady Gaga music video. We know what they can do with the iPhones nowadays. So I wonder if it's Alice Cooper that was getting all of the footage, but maybe she was doing something else.

You know what I mean? Oh, that's a good. That's a very good, like, because, right, the style of the camcorder looks exact same. as the VHS's that are appearing on people's doorsteps. Oh, yeah. So, just throwing that out there, Riverdale writers,

just throwing that out there. Maybe you could just, I'm obsessed with it. I have to know. If not, I think I need to write an entire movie with a camcorder thing like that because I think that,

I mean, I just, I think the voyeur scary concept to me always really, it's like, yeah, it's like, you know, it's like the strangers. You know,

it's like, that kind of shit, always terrified. me. And he got a home invasion. For sure. Yes. Yeah. There was so many, like, there have been so many good seeds

planted. Like, and that is the best one. If somebody filming your house from across the street and then leaving VHS and somebody at your door. Super creepy. Good. High stakes. See, this is high stakes. High stakes. Riverdale seems to have a misunderstanding what stakes are.

Yes, a dead teenager, stakes. High stakes. But not when we all know that he's not dead. That's low stakes. I ain't putting caramelized onions on them steaks. You know what I mean? Steakhouse joke. Now,

I think we often talk about Hermosa because I forget Hermosa is a private investigator, obviously. And Hermosa, I think when I had to pause it because I was laughing

so hard, when Hermosa knows that, that Veronica is under investigation. She knows that it's because, and why she might not go into Barnard and all this stuff. So she's looking into Veronica's life. So she burst into the room when she was just having sex with Archie.

And that's very uncomfortable because I can't even imagine, even when like at times when my sister and I were fighting, I still wouldn't want to walk in on her having sex with anyone. Because rude. And then she complements Archie on his abs, which is an extremely creepy thing. For somebody whose character has got to be at least in their mid-20s to say to a teenager.

16, 17-year-old, very upsetting. And so she was doing some investigation on Veronica, but through this investigation, she went ahead and just made her a fake passport. Just in case she wants to skip town, she made her a Monica posh, which is Veronica's wearing a wig alter ego. she made Monica Posh her own passport with plane tickets

to skip town if she wanted to. But you know what? I thought that was pretty nice. Yeah, that was nice, but that she's only under investigation for running I guess you might want to skip town if you're under investigation by Barnard for running a

secret rum club, but it's not like the Barnard police are going to come get her. You know, like I feel like you don't need to skip town of a college has withdrawn your admission. You know, you have to skip town if, like, the FBI is coming for you. Oh, my God. And I also forgot that Betty got the phone call that was like, ah, somebody died. So, uh, you want to go to Yale? Which another thing that I know that I shouldn't even still be bringing up how angry the college admissions thing in Riverdale makes me. But that also made me angry this episode. Was that part of the plan? We were Jughead and Betty, was Jughead like, let's fake

my own death so that then they offer you my spot, but then I'll turn out to be alive. And then they'll have to keep me. Maybe. And that's a way for both of them to get into Yale. We are pulling at fucking straws here, man. That's, that's, at least that's a reason. That, getting into Yale is a, is an okay reason to fake your own death. I wouldn't do it, but at least there's a reason. And while Erymosa is investigating her own sister, we have Cheryl, which you know what I want to say.

Props to Cheryl in this episode, but then no props to Cheryl in this episode because she comes up to Betty, because it's props, no props for Cheryl, because she comes up to Betty and she's like, I know losing someone is really hard, I'm going to be your suicide shadow. So she's going to be your shadow to make sure she doesn't kill herself. And this is after they started planting the seed that possibly, Betty and Archie were going to finally get together since Jug and they're like, no way Jughead's still alive because there's no way they would be holding hands at pops if Jughead was alive. No possible way that there's ever been any kind of sexual tension between them. And so they hold hands and then it starts the Cheryl Snowball, I guess Cherry Ball, if you will, up to the point that they kiss at the music room, which I talk about,

Even though it's a setup, Veronica coming in being like, so you kissed me and Betty and Josie and Miss Grundy all in the music room, which that's a bit of a call out. That was a great bird except for Miss Grundy, who was definitely a predator. Predator, that's a predator alert. And because Cheryl saw Archie and Betty kissing in the music room and then took a picture of it and texted it to everyone. If you are doing suicide watch on somebody, I'm going to go ahead and say that a private moment probably shouldn't be shared with everyone because I'm going to go and say that if it was real, would that or would that not be for someone young, a possibility of them being like, well, I guess I will kill myself now.

You know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. I also want to unpack this plotline a little bit more, if I may, because was Cheryl let on it? Cheryl was not in on it. Cheryl was not in on it. So she was being used as a suicide shadow to do that exactly. They knew that she would watch. They knew she was watching Betty, so they sat Cheryl up to.

And so Betty and Archie did that because it would make it look more realistic that like Jughead was actually dead. Right. Okay. Why was Cheryl so, I mean, maybe this is just Cheryl being my favorite character, but why was Cheryl then so nonchalot about Jughead's death? I mean, I think that, I think it's just Sherrill. Yeah, I think it really is.

I think since JJ, you know, really what does it matter to her that other people die? I mean, she did call him a hobo that one time, which is what she said twice in the documentary. I actually thought that scene was hilarious. There's a scene where they're interviewing Tony and Cheryl, and Tony is like, yeah, I really had a connection with Jughead. We spent a night together and it really, like, informed our friendship. And then it pans over to Cheryl and Cheryl's like, I'm not threatened by a loveless trist. And then they're like, do you care? do you have any memory or any like regret?

I don't remember what they ask her about the death of Jughead. And Cheryl's like, I'm sorry I called Jughead a hobo that one time. And then they were like anything else. And she was like, I'm really sorry I called them a homo that one time. I was like, all right, that was fun. That was a fun scene. It was, that was a fun scene. Because throughout all of this, Mrs. Andrews is interviewing everybody as a way, it's like a remembrance thing.

It's almost a dear Zachary, if you will, of the Jughead that she's making. Because on top... I won't, by the way. I won't. Because on top of all of this, so Betty is also being followed, she's being followed by Cheryl, but she's also this entire time being followed by Donna, who is trying to prove that Jughead still exists, which I honestly, not even, again, we can't get back into the semantics of this. I don't understand why she's trying to prove that Jughead still exists because then wasn't she trying to get Betty?

arrested for murder and blaming it on Betty? A great question. Why would you want to prove the drug? I'm actually confused by that. And I try not to think about it. Me too. Unless I'm wrong somewhere, but please. No, why?

This is the other thing. I don't understand what Donna and Brett Watt out of all of this. I don't know what they want. Part of, you know what, part of being, you know, as I'm going to say this is someone that went to theater school. You have to know your intention. every scene you have to know your intention you need to know where you are going

what is your impetus for saying what you're saying why are you saying what you're saying how do these amazing you know what I'm going to go ahead and say it how do these amazing actors do it if from week to week it doesn't make any fucking sense of why they would be saying or doing the things that they're doing if they have no actual intention of moving forward

yes or am I being too am I seeing it too deep Am I getting too deep? I don't think it's too deep to expect a story to make sense. I just want a story to make sense. I just, the story doesn't make sense. And I just, I truly do not understand their attention. So we did the what happened. The why it happened is we've established,

maybe it was because Benny and Jughead could then get Betty and DeGale. Maybe it was to get back at the fact that, like, Stonewall Prep was bad to, like, Jughead's ancestors. but why did Betty and Donna do what they did? That I do not know. I know they were trying to fuck with Betty, but why? Betty doesn't even go there.

I honestly don't know. And so what does Donna do is she follows Betty, who was setting it up that this entire thing was a way, that like what she's really sneaking around doing is having sex with Archie. So she lures her into the bunker. and has, after picking up a bunch of food from Pops, takes Donna down there and Donna walks in on Archie and Betty in bed together.

Meanwhile, Jughead is hiding underneath the bed, and Donna knew that Jughead was there because there were three milkshakes. But also, girl, if you are trying to dupe someone, don't get him a milkshake. Maybe one of you doesn't get a milkshake that one time. You know what I mean? Let's not make it that apparent. Yeah. I will say sometimes.

I know it's a crazy thing to say. Sometimes I get both a soda and a milkshake. So maybe that's what it was. Also, I like how Brett was like, well, if there was three burgers, it could have been because Archie eats a lot. But then with those three milkshakes, it's like, well, that has to be because there was a third person. It has to be.

And also, I think that Brett is in love with Archie. Can we throw that out there? He's always talking about Archie and, like, his, like, washboard abs and that, like, beautiful little, like, he's always talking about how Jackty is. And I think, you know what, though? And I don't like Brett, I'd watch that tape. As long as either one of them spoke. As long as it was a silent fuck, I'd watch the hell out of that.

Silent tape. So two things, I've been very negative, and there's two things I want to spotlight about the scene we just talked about. One is that I do like that all four of them are in this plot together. It's a shitty plot. Don't get me wrong. It's back to OG Riverdale, though. Yes, I like that because for the last Riverdale roundups, however many Riverdale roundups, we've done.

We always have to talk about four distinct plots from the four different characters. And I like that they are all now in one plot. I think that that's awesome. And I will say that I do kind of like that part of the side story of what happened with Betty and Archie being like fake together is that then at the end, Veronica's like, oh, Archie, you didn't feel anything for Betty, did you? And then when Betty and Jughead had her together and Jughead's like, like, oh, you didn't feel anything for Archie, did you?

And they're both like, no, no, no. And then at the very end, what do we see? But them texting each other and like agonizing over the wording of a text to each other about the kiss. And I thought that that was very OG Riverdale, fun, cute, like, flirty, you know, teen, sexy stuff. A thousand million percent. I was by myself watching it and I was just going, oh, girl, no, you did it. Oh, come, you did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because I love a, I guess this wouldn't be a love triangle. It would be a love square? I love a love square. Please, please, please. And I thought it was very cute. I mean, I couldn't help myself. I was just like smiling so much that hurt when, yeah, she said like, I hope I'm not a bad kisser.

And he was about to say something like, I'd kiss you any. time, Betty, and he deleted it, which also, anytime I see teen heartache, any kind of to see anything, like, my heart bursts open where I'm just like, I've done that so many times just because I'm just an empathetic mush, you know what I mean? And also, that was like Archie, me reading Archie's dialogue in the form of an Apple text is the most realistic Archie has ever been as a character. Like that text being like, no, you were great. I'd like, I'd do that again any time.

Delete, delete, delete, emoji, kiss, whatever. Like, that was actually, like, the best acting that KJ. Appet has done. Best acting on the whole season. I will give them that. And also, you know what?

Speaking of maybe this has a lot more to do with lust than we're giving it credit for. Maybe Brett does want to have sex with Archie. Let's talk about this. Maybe Brett doesn't want to have sex with Archie. Maybe Donna wants to have sex with Betty. That would make sense because she is obsessed with her. Because she's a,

obsessed with her and she also called her a nymphomaniac because she watched this sex tape that Betty had with Jughead. Yeah. And something weird is going on with Betty and Brett's relationship that is not romantic, but is like something weird's going on. Something. I wonder if it has something to do with that. Donna and Brett. Yeah. With Donna and Brett for sure because like she's now using him as so this entire season we thought that it was Brett that was the mastermind behind all of this. But now we know it was Donna, which makes sense. Of course, a woman is behind this. And she controls him completely. So she obviously has something on him. She is the ringleader that is doing all of these things. Obviously, we now know that. And so I will say, bravo, bravo, Riverdale,

for ending on the note that this episode ended with. I know that we were a little all over the place, but I think y'all got the gist of what's going on here. That we find out that the four of them with, I believe it was because of Hermosa, right, that found out what was happening with Donna? Yes. Something is happening with Donna. And we as an audience don't know what it is because they had a big Manila envelope

and they opened up the envelope and they all went, because Donna is hiding something. That was some stakes. That was a stake. Donna, that was a stake. They said Donna is, oh, of course she is. What is she? Who is she?

I don't know, man. But that's a steak. I want to put some A1 sauce on. Actually, you would put A1 sauce on a bad steak. I guess I'd put blue cheese on. I'm going to put blue cheese on that steak. Not that I don't love A1 sauce, but you know what I mean. If it's like a really, really, you know, if it's a thick, if it's a thick, you don't really need the A1 sauce. Why am I defending my A1 sauce use? Why am I doing this?

So, all right, question. I used to love A1 sauce. I love A1 sauce. I don't think you can't say one sauce. I So what is Donna? So Is she a part of the farm?

Are we getting since she's been talking to Evelyn Ever, never. Is maybe she's trying to get Betty And like she's trying to absorb Betty back into it? Is she really You know, well we can't even say that's like maybe she's actually 45 years old Because Evelyn Ever Never was actually very old And that was barely a plot line. So I will say, yeah, I like the reveal that Donna is something, but Riverdale has to give us a hint because there's literally 10 million things that we could choose from.

Is she a googly? Is she 45? Is she, you know, really from a rival high school? Like, there is, like, so, like, they need to, like, give us a little, a little boost. So that, it was a great way to end it, though, because it was like, fuck you, Riverdale, you still know how to get me. Yeah. Yeah, that was a good ending, and it did make me be like, oh, I want to come back, which even some episodes, when they have ended, I have not even wanted to come back. No, they're definitely, you know what, it's a struggle sometimes.

It's not always a struggle, but sometimes it's a struggle. We're in the middle of, you know what, Riverdale is like being married. You know, you've got ups and downs. No matter what, no matter how much you love a person, you're going to have ruts sometimes. and we're in a bit of a rut right now. Maybe with Riverdale, maybe we need to go in a little, you know, just a weekend vacay. Maybe we need to like try something new in the bedroom. Maybe that's, and that's which is probably why they're doing the Betty and Archie thing.

We need a little bit of spice. Yeah, we need something. And it's true that a marriage takes work and my relationship with Riverdale takes work. Although I also have higher hopes for my marriage than I do for the future of Riverdale. It's probably for the best. I'm glad that you do because you felt the same way about Riverdale as you do about Gideon

I think we'd have to be like Do we need to go get drunk, Molly? Because it sounds like you need to go get drunk and have a conversation. But we're fine. Everybody's fine. And I guess that's it for right now.

I think we covered literally everything there is possible to know about this episode. Yes, I did love that when Kevin was being interviewed by Mrs. Andrews, he said, I think there are a lot of closet that Barci stands out there who have been waiting for this moment.

There's a lot of people who don't think Bughead shouldn't have happened, which... Yeah. I remember a time. I remember a time back in the day when I really wanted Betty and Archie to be together. Yes. And I want to praise Kevin for his constant earnestness. He acts the fuck out of this show. I love him.

No matter what trash it is. I absolutely love him. And, you know, it would... Betty deserves something, you know. Give her a little kisses now. I think that's great because especially because she had to wear that knitted baby pink sweater through most of the episode. And I'm going to throw it out there.

I fucking hated that shirt. And I very rarely like... I hate all of Betty's clothes. I usually don't like her outfits, but that one in particular, I was like, take that off. You look like your four. And it's weird and gross. It's really weird and gross. I know she's hot.

I know Lily Reinhart is hot. It's very attractive. The way that they dress her, she is, I hate those. They do not flatter her. They might flatter some people, but they do not flatter her and she's very hot. So it's hard not to flatter her. When she dresses like Dark Betty, not for nothing, she is like 10 trillion times hotter. Yeah, yes, yes, yes.

And also I would be remiss if I did not bring up how hot Hiram Lodge was at the funeral, which we got very little lodge factor this episode. But he had on this like multi-patterned suit on in the funeral that, man, can he rock a very interesting looking suit? And I was surprised that that was right before he tried to, tried to fire, gently fire FP from being sheriff, where sheriff FP quit. Now, I think that means that we've got serpent daddy coming back.

I hope so, man. That would be the best possible outcome of all this. I really think Serpent Daddy's coming back. And I love that, I believe it was Hermosa. No, it was Donna that called him Sheriff Daddy. And I know that she meant Daddy because he was the father, but I was just like, they're listening. They're listening. Yeah, I like Sheriff Daddy.

This was great. I mean, we're ups and downs again. We're in a bit of a rut in our relationship. We're going to see how it goes. But I am positive. about it. I'm feeling good about it. Let's see what the next one is. What is Donna? Where are we going to go next episode? I'm here for it and I hope y'all are here for it as well. We'll be back in next week with Season 4 episode 16 and I'm excited. I'm really excited for it. I guess I am. I am. I'm mad,

but I'm excited for the future. I'm mad and excited for the future. You know, like any good person in their mid-30s would be. We love you guys and we will talk to you next week. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.