Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Vol. 19: Griffins & Gandalfs

Episode Date: November 3, 2018

Jackie and Marcus recap season 3 episode 3 "As Above, So Below" and talk sex bunkers, juvie fight clubs and corrupting minors. Want some entertainment in your sex bunker? Support us on Patreon and get weekly bonus content! www.patreon.com/page7podcast Intro song by Green Dreams greendreams.bandcamp.com Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It was a week. You can tell, Marcus I was talking about this earlier, when they are setting up to, like, bring down the hammer for another episode. Yeah, this is a bridge, this is a bridge episode. We're like, some things happen, a couple of things get thrown out there. It's a conflict episode, specifically. I mean, the big conflict here is, of course, you know, Hiram and Veronica. Yes, for sure.

Well, actually, I mean, I feel like there are a couple big conflicts in this episode. But, I mean, let's just start it out in the beginning. Do our juveniles allowed to be thrown in solitary for three weeks straight? And also, you know what? He looked great for being in solitary for three weeks straight. Yeah, for three weeks straight, Archie was in solitary. And let me ask you, did I miss when FP and Alice started fucking? Did I miss that?

Well, because she went over. So in rewatching the second season of Riverdale, a couple of episodes towards the end was when she goes over, after everything's happening with Hal, she goes over to FP's house, and she's got like the serpent outfit on, and she comes in and he like takes his gum and throws it out the door, which I guess meant that they start fucking.

Yeah. And so in my brain, hubba, hubba, hubba, it's been happening ever since. Yeah, I guess it, has been. Right? And he's totally cool with the farm cult thing. I think that it's because he said that like he's happy that like her openness at the farm is allowing her to be in this relationship. So I think that anything that gets that hot ass woman into his bed is all that he cares about. Yeah. Which also would a man, what a man, what a man, what a might a snake man.

I'm mad a snake man, them laying in bed, which I know that we saw that Instagram picture a while ago, but hachi-machi. That was pretty good ha-to-machi there, yeah. You know that they, man, think about their Fs, dude. You know it's sensual as hell. Yeah. Right?

Yeah, I would imagine so. I don't see any reason why I wouldn't be. But then also, did you see his little jelly bean tattoo? Yeah, that was cute. And I thought it was so cute. And it made me want to kiss him even more. But then when they cut from the scene of the parents in bed right to Betty and Jughead in bed, I was like, that's a little weird.

It was a little weird. Yeah, it was very weird, in fact. It made me feel straight. And also the fact that Betty and Jughead have just been fucking in the abandoned bunker for three weeks. You don't fucking the bunker, dude. I thought it. I actually thought at first, the first time they showed them having. sex in the bunker. I was like, well, that's weird. I think that's weird. But then the second

time they showed, I was like, you know what? Yeah, I'd use that bunker too. If I was in high school, I'd spend all my time in that bunker. It's a great bunker. Yeah. But at the same time, it is definitely surrounded by two brutal deaths. Recent, very recent deaths. Very recent deaths. Very, very recent. And the fact that they can still get it on, it makes me think of like the young mind. Yeah. Like when you don't have to think about like the fact that that these two kids definitely chose to do this to themselves in that bunker and still get your rocks off, good for them.

Yeah, that shows a singularity. It's kind of a, but I'd definitely rather watch Fallis have their love making. Yeah, I'd say so too. But they look so cute. And the fact that they are a couple in real life, I feel like really lends itself. to the sexiness of them laying in bed. Because then creepy me thinks that's probably how they lay in bed in real life. Because I am a creepus.

Yes, yes. I understand completely. I think it's healthy. It's healthy, Jackie. Is it healthy? I guess. Marcus, is it healthy? Is there something wrong with me?

I have very little concept over what is healthy and what is not anymore. Well, you know what's not healthy? A 16-year-old opening up a space. speakies. But making sure to say, no miners are going to be drinking here. We're not in the business of corrupting minors. But you're definitely in the business of corrupting minors. That's what this whole show is.

Yeah. The whole show is corrupting minors. Yeah, it's everyone supposed to be 16 years old. Which is, I mean, still one of my favorite parts about the show. But I hated that the password was ston. wall. Yeah, well, I don't think it was supposed to be the password. I don't think they chose a password. I think Kevin just said something. But then the fact that the dude said, close enough. It's like, then what, what's the past? It's like, what does that mean?

He should have just said, hey, it's Kevin and you know me, Reggie. That's the password. Reggie is bad at his job, obviously, because you see how much he, how much jingle, jangle he spilled on the floor when the jingle jingle jingle shipment showed up and then he's like oh god jingle jingle jangle what do i do oh it's so much jingle jangle oh my god isn't your dad's got a jingle jangle operation running out of the white worm oh oh it's like yeah dude put it away you fucking crazy kid as if he didn't pocket some jingle jangle though i would pocket the hell out of some jingle jangle i think we're going to see in the next time wasn't all right wasn't reggie a bit of a jingle jangle addict in season I believe so.

Or at least he's like super into jinger jangle jangle. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that he is. But also, it's interesting to see how much more Reggie has been in this season already. I feel like he's been in it more than he used to be. Because also, did you know that Ronnie and Reggie are dating in real life? It's almost like you can't put a whole bunch of like hot young people together without like some of them just starting to fuck. All of them fucking. Of course they do.

How do you not, if I was in that situation and I was that young and hot, I would definitely be banging everybody on that set. Yeah, of course. And it is well within their right because they are adults. So I'm guessing there's probably going to be like, I'm guessing that Veronica's going to cheat on Archie with Reggie. I think so. Something happened.

It's going to happen. Well, I thought, because I did think, like when Reggie was bringing all in the jingle jangle, why did he have his shirt off? Why did he have his shirt off? It seemed a little gratuitous And I was thinking But I was thinking it's like Why is that gratuitous?

Because what they're trying to do Is they're trying to set up Sexual tension between Veronica and Reggie Because I bet that he's going to save her from something Yeah In the future And then they're going to just like end up in each other's arms And be like

Ah And you know what Archie's not around He's too busy in Juvie Fight Club Which what? Yeah, Juby Fight Club is a, that's a, that's going a little far. It, I, you know what, it, I, you know, I love this show very much. And I like that every episode, and it still never lets me down of, this can't happen.

Or how is this going to get even crazier? And then it does. Yeah. And did you notice that the guy who. plays the warden actually looks quite a bit like the original principal weatherby? Yes, he does. And I don't know, it's not, I mean, no, did the original principal weatherby, did he die? Like, what happened to him?

No, I mean the principal weatherby from the comic books. Oh, from the comic books. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, for sure. He's also very, like, sweaty, you know? He kind of reminds me of the guy inhuman centipede, too. The way he looks at those boys. He does look at the, I kind of have a feeling that he's got a couple of different stables.

Like he's got his fight boys and he's got his others. Other boys. He's got to have other boys. He's got other boys, yeah. Especially when he gave him a bottle of the lodge rum. Yeah. When he did a good job. And it's just like, number one, giving booze to minors in your juvie fight club.

But number two, rum? Jesus Christ. Drate rum. Ugh. I mean, again, at that age, I definitely would have been like, when he threw it against the bars, I was like, go darn it against bars. No. At least drink it.

Yeah, drink it. Because even if Hiram Lodge is putting something in the booze, like, what does it matter at this point? Dude, you're in Juvie Fight Club. Yeah. With another boy named Baby Teeth. What was his name, baby teeth? Baby Teeth.

His name is baby teeth. And I, I, I, I, like, like in my mouth a little bit when he introduced himself as baby teeth why baby teeth that's disgusting he's too old he doesn't have baby teeth I looked I paused it and I looked to see if me it was like maybe just has baby teeth

baby teeth no he's just baby teeth but also Joaquin getting the shit beat out of him looking good while doing it yeah poor Joaquin but on the other hand Joaquin was a dick in last episode so I'm not feeling that he was but at the same time Joaquin was right because it's like just because you get a serpent tattoo doesn't mean you're a serpent and demand our protection. Well, you know, there's a lot of ins and outs to gang warfare that we're not privy to.

No, no, we don't live that serpent life. We just love it. It makes me, but I just like, where is that, where is that story? Where do you think that storyline's going to go? The Archie storyline? Yeah. Well, there's, I mean, there's the escapes coming because at the end of the episode, That's right the escape. Archie opens up the book and finds a chisel inside. A tiny chisel. Yeah. And episode five is called the Great Escape.

Ha! And episode six is called Manhunter. How is he going to get out of that jail? He's so noticeable. He's too busy given like his long monologues. Like sticking together guys. And we got to get through this jail process. You know what, guys, the thing that they do is they don't let us know that there's a world out there.

And there's a world out there that we got to get back to. We're going to escape. But, dude, you said that you were guilty of murder. Yeah, you did this to your... What did he think it was going to be like? I don't know. He's just so dumb that they should have, I don't know, put him in some sort of, uh, sanity ward.

Yeah, it's like two episodes ago. It was, I deserve this. I deserve punishment. I deserve to go away for the things that I've done. And now it's two episodes later. Now he's escaping. I hate Archie. I'm sorry.

I have to say it. I hate Archie. I hate him. I hate everything about him. I liked watching him get the shit beat out of him. That was fun. He did put on a good show. But even that way, he's like, hit me.

We got to put on the show for him. You got to hit me. And then he hits him. And he's like, oh, is that all you got? It's like, oh, go fuck yourself, Archie. You got yourself into this mess, you idiot. And then when he won, and he's like, have you ever heard of a place called Pops? It's like, what do you talk?

It's like your girlfriend owns Pops. Yeah, you little dickhead. Jesus. I mean, the Archie storyline is definitely the least interesting one going on right now, as it usually is. Yes, for sure. Especially with the fact, like, even just thinking of Fred and how cool. cool he was when he couldn't see his kid. Like, if I was three weeks in solitary, my mother would have a knife in her hand. And I'm like, where's my child? What is she? Like, she would be in there

knifing the warden to see me. Yeah. And Friday was, I guess you'll be hearing from my lawyer. That's it. That's all you're going to do, Fred. But maybe he'll help him escape. Yeah, babe. Well, I bet Daddy Club's going to come back. Where is my Daddy Club? I know one Daddy's too busy. H in on Allison. That's great. And I love that he's doing that. But where is my Sheriff Keller? Because Sheriff Mineta is a bitch. He's coming into La Bonnui

and trying to get his money. What the fuck is it called again? Lebonneui? Which I looked it up. It means the good night. Oh. Which is very sexy. Don't worry.

She's got her, what is it, Shantus? Josie, I want you to be my resident Shantus. I was like, what? Veronica. Jesus Christ. Yeah. You're not classy. And then of course there's Josie song with the weird shadow play people behind her.

Yeah. Weirdly, though, I was kind of into the song, though. Well, that's an old song. It's a song from like the 20s or 30s. Yeah, it's like an old jazz song, right? Anything Goes. Yeah. Yeah.

Was that like a Broadway play too? Probably. Isn't there a show called Anything Goes? I just know it because it's one of the songs in Fallout 3. Ah, your Vigigames. But she definitely was not singing it like that, that's for sure. I thought it was fun sexy, though. It was fun sexy, yeah.

I thought she was doing great with that. And also, I really liked the shade that Betty threw at Jughead about wearing nice clothes to the opening party. I was like, you go, girl, you tell them. Like, you gotta look nice. We ain't talking about no serpent-ass jackets here. And I thought that that brought a little bit of reality into Riverdale, and I appreciated it. It did bring a little bit of reality. I'm waiting for Betty to do something different because Betty seems super one-note this season.

I feel like she's going to explode next season. Next episode, I mean. I think, I hope so, because she just kind of seems to be doing the same monologue over and over again about, you know, the farm. She's very upset. But I will say, Guffa, when she sat down to that meeting where, like, they were all going to talk and everything. and she openly like said to her mother was like yeah man this is insane what are you I was like good for you girl you explode at those farm ass motherfuckers because they're giving people seizures and I don't know how they're giving them seizures but I'm really excited to see how Riverdale

explains the seizures I'm very excited very excited to hear all of the because there is a lot of unexplained things going on right now that are going to have the dumbest explanations, and I can't fucking wait to hear them. Or they're near, I was worried that the seizures were never going to come back, because you know that they're very good at just letting things go. Yeah. But the fact is, so now Ethel's having, like, multiple seizures a day.

Yeah. And she's on medication, but the farm is anti-medication, which I find very interesting. Interesting. And, but that's the day. Isn't, uh, was it, Ethel? What is it? Ever and ever? Evelyn.

Evelyn. Evelyn. Evelyn. Evelyn's trying to get her off the medication, right? Yeah, yeah, because the farm's anti-medication. Yeah, very interesting. But they're gathering all the secrets from everyone that goes to the farm so you know they're going to use it against them. Is Alice going to get put into jail? She might. I don't know. It's very Scientology where they get you to confess all of your past sins and then they keep a file on your ass. Man, it's not good. The farm ain't good, but I'm excited to see who Edgar Ever Never is.

I'm very excited to see who Edgar, when Edgar ever never finally. It's so difficult to say. When he finally arrives on the scene, I'm going to be quite excited. Because now that there's a student chapter of the farm at Riverdale High. It's not, it hasn't caught on yet, but it's going to. And I would imagine it's going to catch on after everyone in Riverdale apparently is going to start playing this tabletop role playing game. Because you know how cool tabletop role playing games. are to fucking 2018 teenagers.

Uh, yes. I think, especially when everyone's like reading the scripture of, what is it, griffins and gandoffs. Griffons and gargoyles. Griffin's and gargoyles. Henceforth known as G and G. Oh, that's right, G and G. Which is, God, I love Riverdale so much.

G&G, excuse me. But that's the thing is, like, we all have access to getting the, um, D&D manuals, right? Are all of us playing D&D? I can't imagine 17 year old me would be playing D&D. No, I also couldn't imagine. Can you imagine someone going into your high school

and putting a D&D manual in everybody's locker? How would people have reacted at your high school? I feel like they would have found who did it and then beaten the shit out of them. You know, and like shoved their dice. in their mouth. I believe they would have all just looked at me and said, Marcus, why did you do this nerdy shit? And they're like, sorry. Yeah. Yeah, but then it's jughead being like,

you don't understand what it is and what it means. That's the thing. When you've got Jughead going through school telling everyone that it's evil that they shouldn't do it, that's how you get teenagers to do shit. To do it, duh, Jughead, where's your fucking head at? You should have listened to FP and Alice. If they are reacting in that way, there's got to to be a reason. Listen to them for once. No, they're never going to listen to them. They can't listen.

If they ever listen to them, then it wouldn't be a show. You're right. I guess that's the whole thing. They are little snarky teenagers. And I, but I will say that did I lose my mind

when Ethel kind of talked, forced, jog-headed to kissing her. I, I allowed said, you go, girl. I was uncomfortable with that.

Very upsetting. Well, that's what happens when you're a Hellcaster. You have to kiss Princess Ethylene. I don't, I think she made that up. I bitch made that up. Bitch is looking for a new G&G boyfriend because her last G&G boyfriend fucking offed himself. And she's, quote unquote, upset about it. But she's just trying to replace that.

But is she going to try and control him? and like brainwash him into thinking that like he is her actual boyfriend in the way that she couldn't do to Ben. Well, I think that's the thing. Ben seemed a little weak-minded. I think Jughead is a lot more and I think Jughead is much stronger than that. I mean... Plus he's got Betty.

He does have Betty and Betty's going to try and keep him out of it, but you know he's going to keep getting brought right back in. I mean, he did drink from the Griffin's chalice. So, and Betty wasn't there to stop. him because Ethel did that on purpose of why, like, why isn't Betty worthy enough for the scripture? Well, Betty actually seemed pretty proud of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she was, she dug it, which I think is kind of fun, which essentially

I feel like it's like, you're not nerdy enough, you won't give in to the thoughts and ideals of G&G, which is essentially what Ethel was saying. Yeah, or it could also have been, I want to kiss your boyfriend and I can't kiss your boyfriend when you're there. I think that's definitely what it was. But also, shady, but gavah. What if Ethel turns out to be evil? Well, I mean, at the very end of the episode, you know, she was bowing down. Somehow the Gargill King true detective cosplay snuck into the hospital. Oh, yeah. Just to come say hello. Oh, yeah. I can imagine.

Something tells me that Griffin King did not come in through the front door. I can imagine that dude trying to go, like, excuse. me walking sideways through the hallway. Oh, sorry. I got this girl. She's got to pray to me. Don't worry about me. Nothing to see here. Everything's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. I am really excited to see where this storyline goes.

But although because then Jughead did save her life. Yeah, he did. She's probably going to get mad about it. Yeah, probably. Oh, man. I'm looking forward. I feel like this is everything that everyone wanted from Barb, but didn't get, you know, and now there's, like living their life through Ethel instead.

Now we're here. I guess we'll be back next week with The Midnight Club. Dun, dun, done, but also I do want to say that Shannon Perser, who plays Ethel, who also played Barb, is getting straight up death threats because she kissed Jughead.

Jesus Christ. Like actual death threats and they had to come out, like the writers of the show had to come out and be like, this is the quote from the tweet, your daily reminder that bullying a cast member over a fictional ship is never okay. Please get a grip on reality. And then like even the other cast members came out, like Betty, like Lily Reinhardt came out and was just like, it's fake guys. Yeah. Like she is a person.

Please stop doing this. I am not upset as a person. Do you know why? Because the show is fake. Make believe everyone. But they don't understand it and they don't like it. But Sheriff Mineta is going to get something on Ronnie and it's not going to be good. No, it's not. It's not. It's going to be very, very bad. Also, he's really good at being creepy as fuck. Yeah, he is. Now, he's a good creepy cop. He's a really good creepy cop.

But, man, Keller's going to come in there. Keller's going to get his job back, eventually. He's going to get his job back, and he's going to take care of Sheriff Medina. And I'm really excited about it. And if they kiss beforehand, I won't say, stop. I will say, okay, keep going. All right. We're going to breeze right through this because next week, I have a very sneaking

suspicion that it is going to be a bit of a fucking humdinger. Yeah. Thinking about it as well. I'm excited. November 7th, that's what the next one comes out, guys. Get ready. Get torched. And stay horny.

Bye. Bye.