Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Vol. 36: Baby's First Riverdale

Episode Date: October 24, 2019

Molly is back! She and Jackie recap the season premiere "In Memorium" and Jackie has an epic (stoned) season 4 prediction.      This episode was made possible by listeners like you! Support us on our Patreon and get weekly bonus episodes, ad-free main episodes and more!     Intro song by Green Dreams Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Molly Neffle, I missed you. It's babies first Riverdale. I've missed you so much. She will do anything to be with us and talk about Riverdale because no one else in our lives cares about it the way we care about it. It's true. I haven't come back to a lot of things in regular life, but I did make time to come back for Riverdale. I mean, you got to, it's one of the most, especially, If you want to talk about something to watch that will just take you out of reality completely, it is Riverdale.

You don't have to think about the kids. You don't have to think about anything. All you can do is scream at the TV and go, Chicago, and then you puts a smile on your face. It's tough, though, because it really does require a lot of brainpower. For example, I've spent the last two weeks of my life trying to explain to Gideon, who for some reason missed like the last four episodes of Riverdale of the last season. so I've been trying to explain to him and they're like the four fucking... Where has he been?

What is he busy being a father? The most bad shit... They concentrated the most bad shit stuff in the last four episodes of the last season. So I spent the last two weeks of my life trying to explain why Cheryl Blossom is talking to the reanimated corpse of her brother Jason and we're in a real fight about what constitutes a reanimated corpse.

And it's a source of attention. Oh my God, Jeff and I had the same fight. I said reanimated and he goes, it's not reanimated. made. It's just a corpse. It's just a corpse that's sitting in a chair. That's exactly what Gideon is saying. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure it's a corpse that's been

the reason it's, he's like, why isn't the corpse decomposing? And I'm like, I think it's not decomposing because it's been had organs put into it, reanimated if you will, with organs harvested from the farm, if I remember correctly. And Gideon's like, but that's not how science works. And I'm like,

I'm not in the writer's room of Riverdale. That's not how it's science works. But Gideon, do you watch any of Riverdale? None of, no laws matter in Riverdale, man, Riverdale's Riverdale. But his argument is that it's, it's a reality enough. The show exists in a reality that isn't like a zombie. Like we're not in like a magical world in Riverdale. And so he thinks that there shouldn't be zombies. But I think that the Gargoyle King is kind of magic. But then he pointed out that that was mostly humans. So I don't, I don't really know. It's, it's, we're in no man's land right now. I know, but I think that there was, I didn't throw it out there. I think there was a bit of

magical realism that was popped into Riverdale when it came to, which they didn't even bring up the game. They didn't bring up the game at all this, the first two episodes, which scares me, because it's not like the game went away. Well, they think, I think they just, they had Jughead in like the first fucking five seconds of the first episode be like, we all forgot about, griffins and gargoyles and we've all moved on like they it was just like well that fever dream never happened you know now we're back in regular i know i know i found it very dissatisfying uh yeah i thought it was a little bit a little bit of a of a cheat to be like also now we're going to have this i mean yeah there's so much to talk about this like standalone episode about uh fred andrews

that has nothing to do with absolutely anything. And then in episode two, we're just going to jump right back into, you know, Charles and the farm and all the shit that we forgot about. I mean, in my brain, the episode, so the episode season two,

or season four, episode two, I believe is really the, um, it's the beginning of the season. The first episode, so that's why we, so guys, that's why we didn't start with Riverdale Roundup

because I watched it. and it obviously didn't have any of the ridiculousness. I mean, it had a little bit. Of course, they showed Jason Blossom's corpse. They threw a little bit in there for us. But there was no furthering of the plot. But I actually, you know what? I'm proud of them.

I'm proud of them that they wrote an actual semi-normal episode of something as a way to commemorate Luke Perry. And because you can tell that all of them are an actual family. And I really, it just, I cry. I drew most of it, obviously, but it made me feel so good that it was like, I don't really want to make fun of this, because you know what? Mazel the cast and writers of Riverdale for writing something that actually wasn't outlandish and was just a beautiful touching tribute.

I think that's right. I think there's not that much to say about the first episode this season premiere. It was a tribute to Luke Perry, and everybody kind of did, like, it was nice that they did that. They didn't, like, try to weave it into, like, a gargoyle King Death, which I think would have been in very poor taste. A little weird that they just shoehorned Shannon Doherty into it. Yeah. I couldn't tell how I felt about that.

I thought it was kind of neat. Like, oh yeah, she probably also cares about Luke Perry. So we're going to have her in there. But one thing I will say, though, is that, you know, all of the actors seemed like they actually were, like, it was very, like, moving. And then I think they were probably really sad about Luke Perry. And I think that probably all of them were really sad about Luke Perry. but man, Archie cannot fucking act his way out of a paper bag, that guy.

What? He just can't. Watching KJ. Appa try to be like, oh, my dad. Like, I just, I was like, I can't do this. I always think about your Archie impression every time. He always starts every sentence with, ugh. Got to go get my dad. Can't let him stay there.

I'm going to do this completely. needless thing of just going and getting his corpse and driving it home. That was such, that was weird. That was weird. We're like, we're going to go. We're not jalopy. We're going to go. Get the corpse.

And they just let it's like, oh, talk to Molly Ringwald on the phone. No, no. You kids can have the corpse. Like, you don't know what they're going to do with this corpse. You don't know anything about these kids. Yes, please give my son that corpse. Give him the corpse right now. I'm his mother.

It was just That part was definitely funny I thought not funny I mean it was funny I laughed all right I laughed at it Yeah you had to laugh It was Riverdale

You know Riverdale can only be so tasteful I think that but also My problem is I feel like for the rest of the season Which now Jeff and I keep doing Is that I feel like I'm living my life In a shoulda Kudu-a-woulda Of what they would have done With Luke Perry's character

Like would he also have become a sheriff At some point Would he have taken over for the mayor of the town because now we have to remember there's no mayor in Riverdale because both also I'm sorry let's just start jumping into this episode the four main teens

of this show only have two parents between them if you think about it there's FP the sheriff and then kind of there Archie's mother Molly Ringwald and then both of Veronica's parents are in jail

and Betty one of her mother that her mother is Missing. And her father is a serial killer that's dead, which also thrown it out there. This is Jeff's theory. Howell Sparks is not dead. That the Black Hood is going to come back at some point, which I don't think it's that far off. When did he die after the hand incident?

Didn't he die in the game that Penelope Blossom had set up? Ah, yes, yes, yes. And that's so he died during that. Oh, watching this episode, because I haven't rewatched. I really should rewatch the last episode because so much shit happens that I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah. What happened with that? That's exactly me.

What was going on with that? Yes. I was like, I think it was Penelope the whole time. Like, again, I tried to explain it to Gideon. I was like, so Penelope has all the kids over for dinner, and then she sends them all out in the woods to try to not die. And he's like, wait, what? And I was like, and then there was like a civil war scene in the woods, the kind of braveheart style. It was very, very, very hard to remember.

But that's what I'm... One of my favorite lines that happened between Kevin and Betty in this episode was when he was like, why aren't we cool anymore, Betty? And she's like, because you tried to drag me to get a lobotomy. That was very good Riverdale line. Which I had completely forgotten. And in the beginning of it, so I was watching this with my roommate's end, with the Jeff. And we all were like, all, like, what are the bets?

What do you think that Kevin and Betty are going to be immediate best friends again? And I had said by the end of the episode, they had said by episode like five or six. But I guess it still works even though it was under the guise of trying to use Kevin to find out where. So, okay, question. I don't understand what happened with the cult at the end. So they all ascended, right? But I thought that they all disappeared like in the left behind books. But they just like moved really fast out of the end.

of the room and left Kevin there and then started a new cult somewhere else? In a hotel down the highway, it sounds like. With a bunch of guns. I was describing it initially to get in as like a heaven's gate thing. And he was like, wait, did they all kill themselves? And I was like, no, but they all just disappeared. And but now it looks like it's more of a Waco situation where they all are arming themselves heavily.

But yeah, ascended just appears to his name. So that's exactly what Jeff said. And I don't know what that means because I'm going to go ahead and say it. I don't really listen to the last podcast. I don't like Jeff said exactly that, that it's a Waco situation. What does that mean? So I only know this because I watched the series that was on, the mini series about Waco starring Taylor Kitch from last year.

Ooh, how was that? It was great. It was terrific. I didn't even realize it was Taylor Kitch. I was like, when Marcus was like, yeah, that's Riggins. I was like, excuse me. But so I know, I know like 1% of what there is to know about Waco. But basically they were like a cult that had like a ranch and he was like a preacher and he just armed, armed himself to the teeth.

And then when the FBI came to try to be like, hey, is this a cult? Let these people free. There was just a massive, massive shootout. Whoa. Okay, so that's probably, so we're having a WICO situation with the cult. Yeah, I think that's right. I think that we just went, took it from a heaven's gate. It's kind of a combo of a lot of different cults, whereas a lot of cults, they ascend. As I remember, you know, a lot of them ascend, quote unquote, meaning they all, you know, die. They all drink the Kool-Aid and kill themselves.

But in this one, they all ascended by running what appears to be maybe 15 minutes down the road. Take off their clothes and running out of the, yeah. taking off their clothes, driving to an easily accessible place by Kevin to meet fangs and, uh, arming themselves. And I guess I think he did stay sitting in a motel. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. So then, so that's what's going to go on with them. We got to go save them. But man, have they on? I just, I love the beginning of a season of Riverdale because now is the time for us all to start just slap in theories about where the fuck this show is going to go at the wall to see what eventually sticks because there is a lot

going on and they opened up a lot. All right, we got to talk about the lodges. Both of the lodge parents are in jail and now Daddy Lodge is trying, he's talking to the tabloids against Veronica who now just lives alone in the Pembroke, which they can also just have really hot teenage sex before the first day of school, which they got to be. Not together to have sex in different rooms. The parallel sex thing really, really creeped me out. And then I remembered that, like, maybe that's how high schoolers have sex. Like, get together a house where, you know, there's no parents, and then I'll go and have sex.

I wouldn't know because I wasn't doing it. But, like... I just feel like that's too much pressure to perform. I also feel like it's just weird to be, like, I know that my friend is also boning, like, 10 feet away. I know they did that before. They did that when they were all staying in that cabin. You know, they were all, like, having simultaneous sex. And I think it might not be that far off, but it does, it does just, it's just disgusting to be like, okay, now that we're all done hanging out, let's go fuck.

Yeah, but barely hanging out. They're like, okay, oh, now we begin and then they just start sucking on each other. I mean, I loved it. I immediately started grinding on the couch, but no one else finds, you know, supposed teens fucking gratuitously as sexy as I do. Well, and, and, right, so you've got, as you pointed out, not only are there two orphans of the four of them, but in addition to Veronica's folks, both being in jail, Betty is just working with the FBI. With her brother, which I'm going to go ahead and throw it out there. Do you think that Charles is the real brother? Oh, wow.

Are we going to just use second verse, same as the first? What if it's double? What if we do double twist with it? because, you know, Chick wasn't the real brother. What if he's also not the real brother? Because that's the thing. Is she living with this FBI agent? I don't know, because the Joneses are living in Betty's house.

Right. Where does Betty live? I don't know. In my head, she's going to find out that he's not her real brother, and then they're going to end up, like, kissing. Ah. No. Because Jughead's over at the prep school?

I can't even with the fucking prep school. I can't. fucking even with the prep school. We will Stonewall prep. We will get into... There's so much. Oh, my God, they did so much.

All right. So let's continue on. We got to talk about with... All of the paparazzi are just breaking into the school as well as getting past the guards at the Pembroke because they have to talk to her. I love that the paparazzi

As we talk about all the time in Riverdale, adults just stroll right into that school. Just no boundaries whatsoever about what adults who don't have children who go to the school are allowed to enter the school. And also is it called paparazzi still when they're trying, like if it's like, aren't they just journalists? What is that? It's a good question. I think they're probably journalists. She's treating it like she's a celebrity now and then she's just so over being, man, Veronica Ney, I just want to pop her one. So hard sometimes.

I don't mean to jump ahead, but I wanted to rip my TV out of the wall during that all that jazz sequence. I hate that song. And I hate the people in high school who sing that song. They're the same people who sing the song. The high schoolers who sing that song are the same ones who sing that fucking little mermaid song that makes me so bad. Look at this stuff. What, a whole new world? Isn't it sweet?

Yes. No. part of their world. Oh, part of their world. Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry, that's Aladdin. Oh, my bad. And also, as someone that enjoys Chicago, she should have been singing the,

he had it coming, he had it coming, he had it coming all along. Like, if you're going to do it, because we understand what Chicago's about, but also, you're not the one in jail. So really, that doesn't make any sense? No, none of it made any sense. It was a very low-energy musical sequence.

It was weird that she was just performing for like a small group of journalists. It seemed there was like nobody else there. That brought in T.T. and Cheryl for no reason. Like it was, I give that performance. I'm going to say a D plus. I hated it. And I usually like the musical numbers at the Pembroke, you know, because usually Josie is singing or, you know, Tony's being sexy.

Well, now Josie's gone, Molly. You have to remember. Josie's fucking gone. I know. Josie's gone. And Cheryl and Tony seem to be back to being like normal bad. is except for Cheryl secretly hanging out with her reanimated corpse of a brother.

Which we both say he's reanimated. I'm on your side, Molly. Fuck the boys. Sorry, not fuck the boys. They just have a different idea of what a reanimated body is. I understand he's not talking. I get that.

But he is, he's got organs inside of him, and he's propped up inside. And also during the party, by the way, Cheryl just throws a sheet over him as he's not a corpse, sitting in a fucking wheelchair. Reggie almost found the corpse because he was so drunk. And then we just see through the grate that there is just a corpse covered in a sheet.

And right, he's not animated in a sense that he's moving, but he's also not a rotting corpse, which I feel like is an important distinction. The difference. Well, and then, I mean, we need to talk about Reggie, I guess, because there have been two instances, two instances of obvious child abuse in Reggie's home that everyone fliffed off and now it's becoming, now it's at the forefront. But can we just talk about the fact that, number one, they used a weird Ferris Bueller reference to destroy his father's car about how his father loved the car more than he loved him. Number two, there's no way that little man could have beaten the fuck out of Reggie.

I understand it's like a lifetime of abuse and I get that there is a different kind of intimidation factor. But Reggie is just so much bigger than his father. And number three, Reggie killed his father, right? Wait, when did Reggie kill his father? So he says, he's like, I took care of it. My father's not going to be coming to practices anymore. Archie asks no questions.

He just, so he, so he just assumes that he beat the fuck out of his favorite car. And then his dad was just like, I forgive you, son. And all Reggie said was he'll never come to the practice ever again. And then Archie hugs him. No more questions. Reggie killed his father. Right? Right?

I did not. I did not get that. I assumed that his, that somehow his, he just had to like display his power. And then his father was like, oh, I guess I shouldn't hit you anymore, which is also not how abuse works. No. I hope, I mean, I do hope that that is the case because there is no way that Reggie, I think Reggie, I'm calling this now. is about to have a fucking flip out. I think the season he's going to be insane

because how is he dealt with being toyed with like a fucking rag doll all last season. His heart was thrown on the floor. Add he's got the shit beat out of him at home. And he never took it out on anybody. And I think he's about to start taking it out on people. He sure seemed like it in this episode. And I did not, yeah.

The fact that Reggie, they turned it into like a very special episode of Riverdale kind of except they don't. It's like not like a very very very. special episode where it's like child abuse is serious they just are like oh yeah reddish dad hits him yeah you know like it's not it don't really deal with it very sensitively no it was very weird and I just and the fact that like Archie just like went up to him like hey man we know you hit your kid in front of everyone where it's just like that's not what you do either I know a fucking teenager going up to a grown man being like uh stop hitting your kid

we don't like it get out of here I'm the captain of the football team oh you're right maybe I should And this is like a very, it's like not how, I mean, yes, there are like bad dads on the sidelines of sports games, but I also feel like it's like a little bit of a misrepresentation of how child abuse works where it's just like, I'm a dad abusing my child in public. And everyone's like, stop it. And everyone knows. And he's like, I won't stop it. And they're like, okay, you know, where's the fucking coach? Okay, well, you should. Coach should make a mandated phone call. But that's how Reggie's dad's going to get dead. telling you. I'm telling you and called it. And also, can we talk about how fucking sexy mad dog Monroe is? And especially when he stepped to him. And I was like, Reggie, you're going to get your fucking ass kicked.

Look at how hot and sexy this ripped dude is. I'm very glad we have added a new, extremely pretty person to the cast of characters to be a regular. I hope that Monroe becomes a regular. and, you know, I think that I'm fine with him and Reggie having a little, like, who's the hot muscular boy feud. But I didn't totally love the Reggie and Archie, like, who is the better fucker of Veronica underlying theme of the feud?

And then at the end of the episode, Reggie's just like, or Archie's just like, yeah, of course I'm your bro, always, man. Like, you know, I just feel like Archie, in the effort to make Argy, Archie like a, like a great guy. Sometimes they just make him just like a completely like inconsistent nonsense character. Yeah. And also that's why I really think Reggie's going to flip on him at some point. Yeah.

As he fucking should. I think even harder. Well, in terms of where this season could go, I would, for one, would be thrilled if we went back to just some like interpersonal teen drama instead of like heightening, increasingly heightening like horror supernatural drama. Yes, for sure. And especially I'm going to give the MVP. to Monroe's

ass in this episode because man he was in that he was in that locker room and he had a towel around him and his fucking ooh I wanted to take a bite out of his ass it was an apple he just had this purr beautiful just

firm ass I just wanted to grab on it I had to pause it because I had to stare at his ass. Highly recommend go back to the locker room scene he is an adult I am allowed to say these things. We definitely looked it up because I was like,

this guy, last season I was like, this guy is like 35, right? And I think he is like at least 30. I don't remember, but he's old. He doesn't look like a high schooler at one bit. No, no, no, no, no, no. I just, hoo-hoo. And he's going to be, we're going to watch him play football, which, as you know, is Friday Night Lightheads over here.

I'm fine with that. And now that, you know, he's back to also boxing and playing football. That's a lot, Archie. It's a lot to put on your plate, and there's no dad there to help you, get through it. There was a voiceover from Jughead at one point that was like, Archie did what Archie always does. And it was like showed Archie boxing. And I was like, Archie did what he's been doing since like midway through last season. Like that's, he hasn't always boxed. He used to play

football. And then I guess now he's back playing football. When did that happen? I don't know, but he still owns that boxing ring. So I guess he'll never stop boxing. I forgot about that he owns an entire boxing ring. Yeah, that is that's got a. And the fact that because he decided that Monroe should start going to high school again, he just enrolled. And he just enrolled. And similarly, when Jughead decided to transfer schools, he just left in the middle of class. And then Betty was like, go get your stuff. And he was like, okay.

And then he just ran out of the building. They walked out in the middle of class. He just ran. He was like, I better go now. That's. That's not how you transfer. Well, we need to talk about that fucking school because they're. is no way in hell that Stonewall Prep is not like the skull and bones Yale situation, right?

Definitely. Yeah, something extremely murderous is going to happen there. All right. So you guys know, so Forsyth, I guess we can call Jughead now, which is his real name, because in Stonewall Prep, they only call him Forsyth, was called out because he had sent in an essay to win a prize. And he didn't win the prize. But someone, one of the judges liked his writing so much that he came to Riverdale to say, hey, Jughead, instead of going to Riverdale, you should come and start going to Stonewall Prep in your senior year, as if that matters. Or as if your other grades are really great because you never go to school, so I don't

really understand why you'd get that opportunity, but that's fine. He saw some potential in him, Jackie. He is this, some guy who found a child. and said, come to me, child. I see potential. Come to me, child. And his name is Mr. Chipping, which I think is a lot of fun. And so now Jugget is going to start going to a prep school

where he has to wear uniform. And everyone is so smart, except when they're talking about Moby Dick and he's the only one that had the inside. It's hard for me. Because in scenes like that, I just rolled my eyes so hard, I felt like you can hear my eyes go,

crick, quick, quick, quick, quick, as I rolled it. because it's like, shut up, jughead. I really don't like when shows try to write dialogue that is meant to suggest that the people speaking the dialogue are like really smart, because it just never sounds, it just never sounds like they're smart. It just sounds like they're trying to make it sound like they're smart. Like, I'm like, this is not how, this is just, this is so phony, you know?

No, it sounds like he's a fucking asshole is what he sounds like. But I'm going to go ahead and throw it out there, Molly. I have an epic what is it called theory I have an epic theory so we find out that so FB said that this is your lineage at the end of it after he decides to go

he leaves Riverdale just to like okay now I go to this other school because Jughead's grandfather went to the school but then also he dropped out of the school and also disappeared as F.P.'s father someday, too, and just kind of, like, dropped everything.

It probably, so either A, he teaches at the school, and we're going to find out, and he's going to become a really sexy granddaddy character. Or, so it's like, so he finds him, and then he becomes a part of their life again. Or was he killed by the Skull and Bone Society because he knew something about the school, which is why he left the school,

and then they hunted him down later on and got rid of it. of him. And that's why they're bringing Jughead in and it has something to do with that. I love that theory. Which is why Jughead goes missing over spring break. I love that theory. Hell yeah. That would be fucking awesome because as it was in the first episode of this season, I was like, wow, Skeet Ulrich can really act. And then in this episode, I was like, ooh, Skeet Ulrich. No, he can. He's so, uh. Boy, boy, you better not drink what's in that cup. and then when he poured it out, how cute!

He's just like recites this incredibly, like, full of expository dialogue bit, like, right as Jughead's walking out the door. He's like, oh yeah, by the way, my grandfather used to go there, and then he walked out on me when I was a child. Anyway, have fun, boy, it's half an hour down the road. I wonder when we'll see you. And I was like, oh, skeet, that was hard for anybody to do justice, but you're not the one. You're not the one. You're not the one, especially just splayed out on the couch like that, but I got to say, man, I will listen to anything that daddy has to say. I am, I am always here for it because he's still always the sexiest man alive to me.

And now he's going to, so now Jughead's going to a different school. How are they going to kiss? Yeah, yeah. I mean, what I hope is that Jughead being an interesting. different school is going to create a big opportunity for this season to be mostly about Jughead. It sure seems like that because they keep having these flash forwards to Jughead, bad things happening to Jughead.

Because remind me, what was the flash forward at the very end of the last season? They were like, they found his hat in the woods. They had, they were all covered in blood in their underwear, and they were around a fire, and Archie had his hat. Now, over the summer, which they jukeed us, these bastards juked us, because Archie, not Archie. Cole Spouse had said, oh, I was just being a bitch because it was really cold that night and I refused to do the last shot of the night.

And that's why he said he wasn't involved in that last scene. But he fucking jubed us. So in reality, he was just trying to put everybody off the scent of what's going to happen a jughead as they, but then that's the thing. Is every episode going to end with, but don't you remember? the flash forward or is that going to be the last one? That's what I was wondering. I was like, is every episode going to be, is there going to be some fucking time jump

that I'm going to have to put together in my baby apple brain keeping together some sort of timeline, dual timelines of what's happening? I mean, that's what we're here for every week is to really, well, we'll keep it abreast. We'll make sure that we're, we got our eyes on this prize, baby. And we'll definitely get to see what happens with Juggett at this school. Yeah, that's going to be helpful to have you to. to process this with and to try to keep it all together because something bad is going to happen to jugged. And if he is the center of this season, I would be thrilled because he is absolutely the

best character. And I like Betty a lot. But, you know, I love how fucking Charles is like, Betty, why did you let a 16 year old dumb kid in on our FBI investigation? And I want to be like, Charles, Betty is a 16 year old dumb kid. Yeah. I don't trust him. I don't trust that man. And I And I don't know what he's doing, but I don't like it. Yeah, I think that that's right. But what also we need to talk about, talk about another man that we don't like. What is up with Principal Honey? I know.

I don't like how I'm really uncomfortable by it because I feel like a grown-ass man targeting Cheryl like that. He told Cheryl that she couldn't have a dance at the school. So Cheryl had a party. And then he called the cops on the party. and I really feel like he wants to fuck her. That's what I, so the, I looked him up, which I think it's kind of cute, Riverdale writers, Principal Honey after Principal Weather B.

I get it. I get it. I fucking get it. And so Mr. Honey apparently is, not apparently, Mr. Honey is played by Carr Smith, who was in Dawson's Creek and also was in the final destination.

So he's another teen hard throb from the days of yore. That's fun. Which is fucking great. I love, thank you, Riverdale, for keeping up that, this, whatever you're fucking doing here with all these sexy older actors. And I think he's really my type, but, you know, I'd kiss, especially because he's so mean. And I don't know, but then, so Jeff thinks that he's working for Mr. Lodge. Now, I almost feel like that's too obvious. Interesting.

That's why he would be target. That's why he would be, because I, yeah, I mean, I was thinking, I think my mind was going in a bad place thinking about what was setting up this tension between him and Cheryl because it just feels like sexual tension and I hope I'm wrong. I think, I hope you're wrong too, but at the same time not to be like this. But if he is, can you imagine how Cheryl would fucking take his ass down? I was about to say to Riverdale's credit, they don't do a lot of that like intergenerational, you know, sex. but then I remembered the entire first season, which definitely was Archie's entire plot. So I take that back.

But I hope they don't do that. It just seemed like creepy. Like, why is this grown-ass man calling the cops on this high schoolers party when he doesn't, it doesn't have anything to do with him? It made me uncomfortable. Yeah, he makes me uncomfortable, and I can't quite put my finger on what it is yet.

And I know that we're going to find out, but we don't know. But, man, I even think it's down to the fact that I bet he doesn't need those glasses. I feel like he's a liar. I feel like he's all completely a liar. Yeah. Right. Who is he working for?

Because right now it's like I'm just a tough principal who's going to go school back on track. But it's got to be something else. And I had not considered who, what kind of double agent is he? Because he's clearly got to be some kind of double agent. Right. Or it could be now I don't know enough about Waco. Like it could be something to do with the cult that like also still trying to get more people. But again, I feel like that might be too obvious.

I feel like, or it could be a jumping off point into something completely different. We have no idea. All I know is that they set this up so well. Mazel, mausle, mausle, muzzle, Riverdale writers, because you have opened up so many doors of where this can go, and that's what they're so good at. And to keep us guessing every time. So please, guys, let us know whatever your theories are,

and let's start investigating because now, oh my God, it's like we're the little detectives. It was a good first, it was a good, yeah, first slash second episode. It leaves me wondering what the fuck is going to happen and where the fuck is this going to go. And I, several of the possibilities

are very good. Like, I love all the farm stuff. I'm thrilled that the Gryphins and Gargoyles thing is hopefully over. And if it's like a bunch of, like I said, like slightly less true detective and a little bit more season 1y in terms of just like

sexy teen murder, then that would be terrific. Yes. Which I'm completely on board. I also forgot that I wrote this. It'll say watch Riverdale Little Stone. What if Charles the FBI agent is a delusion created by Edgar Evernever to get

Betty off track of the cult? I wrote that down. And you know what? That's not the worst idea I've ever had. That's the thing. You can, you know, your stone ideas are completely fair game in the Riverdale Riders' room. Right, and that's the thing is that because if you think about it, is anyone else interacting

with the FBI agent? Alice was in that scene where she was like, yeah, by the way, I'm undercover. Wasn't she? Right. I think so. But also, I guess no Jughead has seen him. But I'm just saying because like whatever they've done with Cheryl and the reanimated corpse of her brother,

they could definitely do with other people and then you see what you want to see. Uh-huh. Although, the reanimated corpse is real. It's a stretch. He's real. He's not, yes. But we know he's real because she's not, in other words, he's not,

he's not an image in Cheryl Blossom's mind. He's a real ass corpse because Reggie almost found him. Right, right, right, right, right. Yes, he is a corpse, but does she see him as a corpse? I see. Or does she think he's real? I see, I see, I see, I see. Yeah, that is a big question. That is, right.

That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, That's perhaps the number one question on my mind right now. I am very excited. I'm so excited. We have so many more episodes. Where is it going to go? Thank you guys so much for joining us on our first Riverdale roundup of season four. And thank you for, man, we're going on a fucking wild ride, dude.

I know. I'm so happy to be back. And, you know, my brain does feel a little bit rusty. And what better to just claw the cobwebs away than this absolute, you know, hammer of a show just hammering at my brain to get it back on track. Welcome back, Molly. We love you. We've missed you.

I've missed you too. I'm so glad to be back. Hell yeah. Thank you guys so much for joining us and we will be back next week with season four, episode three and Lord knows, Lord fucking knows what we're going to find out. Absolutely zero prediction. I love you guys. We'll talk to you next week.

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