Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Vol. 38: Spooky Fun Trash

Episode Date: November 6, 2019

Jackie and Molly recap the Halloween episode and they have theories a-plenty. PS, Archie, we still hate you.    This episode was made possible by listeners like you! Support us on our Patreon and get weekly bonus episodes, ad-free main episodes and more!   Come see Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser Live! Get your tickets for Los Angeles, Chicago, Pontiac and Milwaukee here!      Intro song by Green Dreams   Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome to talking about the Riverdale Halloween episode. No, bitch, it's your sister. Which, gotta throw it out there, might have been Betty's favorite. Might be my favorite Betty line ever to have been uttered. This episode was insane. And you know what I hate? Is that there's a lot of hate for it out on the internet. What?

What? Do people hate spooky, fun, trash? I just, like, I don't understand why there was so much hate for this episode. it. Of course, don't worry. We're going to get into how many times I screamed. Are you fucking kidding me? That is why I love. I'm looking at the Vulture recap right now. Vulture gave it two stars out of five. Like, if you don't love, it's, it, the essence of Riverdale is spooky fun trash. That's where it started. That's where I always wanted to go back to. It's like, if you don't love complete nonsense, huge plot leaps, uh, barely like, disguised, like, disguised

theft of other plot lines. I guess that happens to all Halloween stuff is like always a reference to other Halloween stuff. Right. But this was not even well done enough for it to seem like an homage. It just seemed like actually like maybe we'll just use this plotline. But I feel like it was kind of an homage to creep show. Because in the beginning you notice it had like the Halloween style lettering.

So they were like giving, you know, saying that, you know, Betty Cooper was dressed up as Laurie Strode. And then also she was in the movie. but then every single one of the top four had their own vignettes, which Riverdale usually does anyway, but I thought it was more of a nod to like a creep show because I will say this episode was creepy. Yeah, oh yeah.

No, and I loved it. I don't know what Vulture is talking about, but my thing also I realize this one every Halloween when I watched Treehouse of Horror is that I haven't seen enough horror movies to know. And same with Scream. And everything is always referencing other horror. Like there's, you know, it's this like art of like the reference. And so, so that was happening throughout this episode.

No, us horries are definitely, oh yeah, no, we love to reference ourselves and suck our own dicks. And every single thing that you do, yes, I'm calling me, he's up a hoary now. And I think that, but I've just seen so, I've just seen too many of them. Now that's my problem is after doing the 31 for 30 fun 31, I can't stop. I can't stop watching horror movies. I mean, this actually, I thought this episode was super fun and it made me want to watch Halloween. And is there a movie, is there, like, aside from just a lot of classic tropes, is there a specific movie that Veronica's extremely spooky plotline was in reference to? Because that one was getting to me.

That one was, I think that was just overall. So in Creep Show, every one of the vignettes do not have anything to do with each other. It's more of like a Tales from the Crypt. So each one is separate So I don't think that that one specifically is Or maybe it is And I just don't know But also the family man

As a name for a strangler Is very creepy I loved Veronica's plotline This episode I loved Betty's I was all right with Jugheads And then as always Everything that Archie touches Just turns to shit

And it made me so I was so mad I was so mad at Archie all episodes I am We will get get there? I'm just like, no, no. If you become a fucking vigilante, I will scream. Every time you put on your fucking suit to go out and then at the end, what is he going to say? Oh man, I just got to stop trying to help people because all I do is hurt people. Yeah, you fucking idiot. You are going after a drug dealer named Dodger who is definitely in his mid-40s. You should

let it go. They all have guns. I just... He's just... not Batman. Also, why is there always a new fucking drug, one new drug dealer in this town and like four people in his squad? And why is Archie always single-handedly trying to act like the police? Archie's a cop. There we go. I'm calling it right now.

Archie's a cop. He is a narc and a cop and he doesn't understand how anything works. And he ruins people's lives like that poor kid, Eddie, that was his. name was. Leave Eddie alone. Let him, like, if he's going to make bad, of course, you want people to help. But also, when he's like, back all the doors, don't let anybody leave until after the party's over.

You are also underage. You are not able to do that to other people also underage. No, we are to understand now that since last week, Archie has become a person who's operating a 501C3 community center. he has apparently all of the like health department clearances to be a person in charge of young children. Yes, both of us have worked for not for profits before and I built my own Boys and Girls Club. You realize how long it takes and all of the background checks and everything you have to go through to be able to create a community center. I know that this is of all of the things that I should be upset about, but I just, you know what?

He's wrapping fucking mad dog up in it, and I hate it. Let Mad Dog be his own beautiful fucking self somewhere else and do whatever he's going to do because he's just going to get Mad Dog hurt. Yes, I feel the same way. There's no reason that I should care about the actual logistics of what it takes to run a community center, but because that is so close to my own heart and the work that I do, I'm like, Archie, you need to have someone. You can't just invite a bunch of children into a building.

and say I'm locking the doors. You can't do that. There are regulations in place. You can't do that. As there should be. But also please, Molly, I think that you, I think the problem is that you're not referring to him as pure heart, the powerful. And, you know, that is the character of which he was dawning.

That also did you notice Katie Keene made, so that's going to be this. There's going to be a crossover. I'm so grateful for you because when that happened, I was like, very knowingly to Gideon, I was like, so Katie Keene is an enough. character in a nearby town, the crossover show. And it was just like, wait, what? Oh, yeah, it's infecting everything, which is why I'm going to plead right now. Please, writers of Riverdale, do not turn this into another superhero show on the CW.

I know so many people that really love the CW superhero shows. I think that's great. I am not one of those people. I don't want my beautiful, perfect Riverdale to become a superiors. superhero show. Yeah, I'm with you, especially the superheroes Archie. You know, if the superhero was Cheryl, I'm there. I'm in, yes.

You know, I'm there for the supernatural. I'm there for the weird, the ghosty stuff. I'm weird for the ambiguous science behind Jason's corpse and whether we're in the land of reality or whether we're in the mystical realm. I don't care. I'll go anywhere with you, Riverdale, but I won't go down an archie superhero path because we don't need another fucking idiot superhero.

No, what I love is that Riverdale relies on keep bringing in serial killers and murderers and cult leaders. That's what I want. I don't want a hero. We want the ones that we're rooting for but we don't really want to root for them because

technically are all underage. Also, not for nothing. Didn't Archie already have a fucking masked vigilante plotline like two seasons ago? And it didn't work then? No, it was infuriating that. And also he wasn't up against people that have guns. Yes, right.

I love how he's like, oh, I'm going to pick up my waistband, and I'm a 45-year-old man hanging out outside this community center. And FP is just like on call for Archie. The whole thing is very, you know, FP is an actual cop, and I'm still rooting for FP. And Archie is just, he says he wants to be like his dad, but his dad was just like a nice townie. Archie's trying to,

He would never go and beat the, no, he would do it the right way. He would get them incarcerated the right way. He wouldn't go after them. Jesus Christ, Archie. Archie is drunk on power and would definitely never pass a background check with the amount of, you know, jails he's broken up. Criminal activity he's been involved in. Jesus.

Well, also, yeah, he was in juvie. It was like everything. It's like, what do you have a horrible record. He broke out of juvie. Not the people who've been in jail. shouldn't be able to get jobs working with children. They, many times they should. No, not at all.

I'm saying he broke out and he just did break out. Like this is, no, it's too, it's too, and he hasn't rehabilitated his life whatsoever. And, and also people should break out of jail. But people should, Archie just shouldn't run a community center. Everyone else who's broken out of jail, come talk to me, not Archie. No. So let's go, I guess let's go back. Let's step our way back through the, the, the, the, all of our people and what it's

happening because we got to talk about Jughead. So let's just, I mean another, I love Jughead. But I did recently watch the movie Buried with Ryan Reynolds, which actually was pretty great. What I love about, so Jughead in this episode, he of course is at his new Stonewall Prep, and nobody likes him. Nobody likes him. And he's just like, and he's a hood rat.

So Moose is now gone. He's disappeared. Oh, they also introduced the Stonewall Four. which are four people that have disappeared without any trace since Stonewall has been opened. So this is obviously what you call. When someone tweeted at us, you guys called it. That's got to be what you called. That's got to be FP's father, right?

I think so. But then that's the whole thing is that I don't think I trust the teacher at Stonewall Prep. Now, they are very good at jukeing these writers. So I don't know. I don't know what it's going to be with this. teacher, or maybe he's just fine. But obviously the teacher's in on the fact that Jughead was buried alive,

but then when he was let out of the coffin, he was in an office. So at the Stonewall Prep, but he was definitely buried. I will say very unattractive Jughead to wake up, like to come to

after drinking a drugged coffee from that girl, which where did they get the drugs from? And why were so many snakes going off. I don't know if you heard all the as he was passing out. So it was snake juice of some sort. Or maybe, oh my God,

maybe it's something to do with the serpents. I just got chills. So he was buried alive and Dirk was coming through, but also not attractive was the fact that he comes to, he's got the zippo. He didn't try very hard to get out of that coffin. Yeah, and also, doesn't it, I mean, props to the Riverdale writers

because Gideon went who has a zippo in their pocket? And I was like, excuse me, there is a type of high school kid who absolutely has a zippo in their pocket. And I unfortunately was that kid. I had a zippo with a trumpet player on it. And of course, that said New Orleans, that I got New Orleans.

But still, I was like, oh, look at the zippo with a trumpet player on it. I didn't smoke anything. And of course, Jughead doesn't smoke anything but still has a zippo because that's a total jughead move. It's a total jughead move. It's a total jugged, of course, too, because it's the exact kind of boy

that you carrying a zippo in your pocket would have also completely fallen in love with it. Yes, I only carried a zippo because I thought that that would make other boys who carried, you know, but the boys who carried zippos would like me if I was also a person with a zippo. I get it, I get it, a thousand percent. But also, zippos are still cool. And I love the jug had had one. And he was just let out in the morning. And whether he fell asleep or he passed out because of lack of oxygen, I guess.

But I think that takes a lot longer than that. He also appeared, correct me if I'm wrong, you're right, when he got out, he was in an office, but also the teacher, Mr. How he's got one of those stupid Riverdale names. I know, I haven't put that one in my brain yet. Yeah. But he was like in on it, or it seemed in on it because he was like, here's your phone. That's what I... And he was like, oh, it's just a ritual that they do.

This is what I'm trying to say is that I don't know what he has to do with all of these things. and do you think that Moose is actually, do you think that he's been, quote, gotten rid of? Or do you think that he has joined the Army? I think that the Moose thing is they're throwing us off. I think that Moose got upset and ran away because he got out of it as the child of one of the Gargoyle Kings, even though that guy would have been really the Gargoyle Boy,

which was... Easy for you to say Jughead. They're not calling you Gargoyle Boy. I'd rather be called Gargoyle Boy than Marmaduke. Just saying. So I think that the Moose thing is one of the old Riverdale fakeouts, but I think that they're about to try to disappear Jughead. And then he's going to find out that his grandfather was also disappeared.

My question about that is, F.P. said, oh, he dropped out. Well, because at one point they say, oh, it wasn't that they actually disappeared. It's just that they dropped out of school. And so F.P. had said, oh, my father went there, but then he dropped out. And then he had me and he disappeared after that. But so I just don't know what the time. is with FP's father. Is he going to be a high schooler he disappeared?

Or does this high school cult come for you when you're an adult? Like what are they setting up here? I don't know, but I think that between talking about that and then talking about, although I'm just coming up with this theory right now. Oh my God. Talking about Hiram Lodge's father with the last name of Luna, that makes me think that are they going to have a, I know we brought this up, but now it makes even more sense.

Are we going to have a grandparent flashback episode? I would love. a grandparent flashback episode, just like the other one where the kids play the grandparents. That would be terrific. Because it would make sense of why his father would want to change his last name from Luna to Lodge, because he was probably getting made fun of at Stonewall Prep

for being Hispanic. So he changed his last name. Or he was one of the, you know, murdery people, but probably not because he was probably an outsider because he was Hispanic. but like that's all it's possible that he changed because it doesn't sound like he disappeared but yeah I think that I think you're right we've got we've got not and and those are the only two grandparents we've got FP we've got uh you know Mr. Luna because his father was also in the serpents right wasn't it wasn't FP's father wasn't that like passed down from generation generation

I think so and then of course who is the other grandparent we have available Nana Nana um Oh, my God, Nana Rose. Oh, my God. Yeah. I have, so I can't. I'm worried that I'm starting to get too obsessive with writing down theories for this show because I have so many theories.

I keep coming up with bigger and more insane theories every week, which we haven't even gotten into a lot of them yet. But that is a great one. You're right. Oh, my God. And I bet Nana Rose was so hot when she was young. Definitely. and so we had, I don't know, I want to, the two things I'm most excited to talk about are,

the very end of Jughead's plot, what we see at the very end of the episode. And I also, I'm just so excited to talk about Cheryl's whole entire story. I'm just like chomping at the bit. Oh. But then we also, we got to talk about Betty. We also got to talk about Betty. I guess we can jump into Betty now. Yeah, yeah, you're right.

We got to jump into it. So Jughead was buried for most of the episode. He's passed out. We go back to Betty. So Betty is having a whole Halloween-esque evening, but also with a little dash of scream in there. There was a couple of dashes of a bunch of different movies. I thought she looked great in Bell Bottoms. I loved her hair, too.

Oh, my God, she looked so good. So she was supposed to spend the night with also, there is something wrong with, what's her name, honey, honeybee? Jelly bean. Jelly bean. Jelly beans fucked, right? She's weird. Yeah. She's real weird. She started off weird and she's gotten way weirder.

I love that they are doing so. I don't know what jelly bean is going to become, but I think that jelly bean might be some sort of sociopathic because, I mean, not that doing a scare on Halloween is sociopathic behavior, but you know what I mean? Where it's like, there's just something in the glint of her eyes. I think that the girl that's playing jelly bean is killing it. So they are home alone. Doing a scare on Halloween with somebody who has like survived several serial killers is kind of a dick move. So many traumatic events. Yeah, so I felt a little bit bad for Betty. Yes, and on top of the fact that, like, Jelly Bean, you can hear that the phone keeps ringing.

You are aware of the fact that children everywhere are dressing up as the Garcoyle King and her father, the cereal killer. Poor Betty. I love this show. Oh, my God, I love this show so much. So they are home alone. She and Jughead and Charles are supposed to watch scary movies together for Halloween night. obviously Jughead never shows up which she wasn't even like that

worried about that which I love because you know what bitch had other things on her fucking mind which good for you girls sometimes you gotta fucking take care of yourself so she goes upstairs to check on Jelly Bean and to make sure that she's okay and Jelly Bean had pulled a prank on her where she slit her own throat and there was just blood all over the carpet

and then she gets up like ha ha ha ha ha ha he's yet to check you fucking psycho I would be so mad well remember Jelly Bean has got a lot of Gladys in her. So she's got that Gladys sass set up. Trickery. Yeah. Oh, she's got trickery in there. So she's getting, in the meantime, she's getting all of these scream-esque phone calls from someone that says it. First off,

they say they're calling from inside the house, which is another homage to another scary movie. And then they say that they are the, that they are the Black Hood, that it's her father, that her father isn't dead. All right. Full description. disclosure. Jeff and I had to go back and look up exactly what happened in the last episode of the last episode. Please tell me. Tell me because I don't remember how he died. I couldn't remember. Okay. So what we do know, according to the Wiki, Hal Sparks is dead. They had because they had the funeral and everything. A word on the street turns, I think, is that he's dead. But we have to remember that chick is put into jail. and Penelope Blossom

disaffucking peers She disappears So we don't know where the two of them are Right? We have not heard word one from Manelope Blossom Don't trust the bitch The two of them being chick and Penelope Or being Hal in Pinellas?

Chick and Penelope because I believe that Hal is dead Jeff is still screaming that there's no way that Hal is dead I think that he might be dead I was like they can't juke it twice They already did the dead not dead. Or didn't they already do that twice with him? Definitely. Yeah, they did the hand thing.

I think they've done it twice. And then I think in the previous season, we thought he was dead. We've done dead not dead with him. We've had Daddy Dead Not Dead. And I think that that's why it's time. And I think what I love about Riverdale as the fun characters they give female actors is they, like, I think that, I think Penelope might be having some fun. But also, Molly, the calls were coming from the Insanitarium. But were they?

But were they? But were they? But were they is the question. Right. So the caller says the calls are coming from inside the house. Maybe totally want to watch Scream again, which I didn't do this season. But also, Molly, you should watch when a stranger calls because that's the OG. I'm calling from inside the house.

so when a stranger calls. And actually, I think you would like it because it's not really that gory of a movie, but it yuck-y-yuck creeps you the fuck out. Yeah, see, and that's what I mean. This is all the references in Scream. Like, to me, everything in Scream is a reference. Everything that happens after Scream is a reference to Scream. But, of course, Scream is just a reference to everything that happened before it.

So they say, I'm calling from inside the house. And then Charles comes over and he's like, oh, I'll use my FBI equipment to trace the call. He just has it with him, no probes. And so he's also got a very small pizza that annoyed me at the size of that pizza. It wasn't enough pizza for four people. It was like a personal size pizza. And so they set it up, they trace the call, and then he says it's coming from the Insanitarium where Polly is.

I'm sorry, it is called the Shady Grove Treatment Center. I know we shouldn't call an Insanitarium. I know it's a very different thing. But in Riverdale it would be called the Insanatorium, you know? It's kind of, I mean, essentially, you may as well just call it, where the crazy people at, you know? Like an old, you know, because you know that we're going to see that place

and we know it's going to be a torture center. I have so many theories, Molly, but please continue, yes. Yeah, it's going to be a total, like, creepy old, because how creepy are old, you know, mental institutions, extremely creepy, filled with ghosts, you know. Yes. And so I think there's a lot of potential there. But so then she calls, she gets her sister on the phone.

And her sister is like, what? Dad called? And then she has the line that you said. Oh, no, they said it was Edgar Ever, Never was on the line, which also leads me to believe is Edgar dead? Or is she just hoping that he's not dead? Right. Oh, that's because to get her to come to the phone, they say, tell her it's Edgar.

And then she said, Edgar, is that you? Because she's in the process of getting crazy untrained. She's getting deprogrammed from the cult. But then what does Polly say when Betty tells her that dad claimed to be calling? Oh, she said, no, because remember, Betty went right after Polly because they found out that the calls were coming from Shady Grove. So Betty just thinks Polly was pranking her. That's right. she didn't ask her whether or not she did it or not, and obviously she didn't do it.

But if it was coming from there, couldn't it be plausible that chick is actually not in jail? He's at the Shady Grove treatment center and that he could possibly be the new, because I don't think the Black Hood is gone, but I don't think it's going to be how. You know what I mean? Or it could be chick. So it could be chick. And we know it's not. At first I thought it maybe was Charles. but it can't be Charles because Charles is in the room

unless they are in cahoots. Well, and of course the reason I said, or is it, is because at the end of the episode, we see Betty and Jughead on the phone chatting, and who is listening to them with his FBI recording device? But Charles. Creepy, creepy, creepy, who wants, he just wants a family. He just wants a family.

And what was the overall fucking... You know what the problem is with Riverdale? It makes me not trust my family. All of these... All these plots. Every single one of these plots, you know what the problem is? It's not strangers.

It's family. Even down to the serial killer, family man. It is all family. It's family's the problem. Family drives you mad. You know what I'm learning is never, ever, ever, speak to your family ever again. Yeah, I mean, what is your take on?

What's he doing? Do you think he's just listening to them because he wants a family? Or because he's a total fucking either serial killer or creep or not the brother? I just feel like Riverdale doesn't give it to you that easily. You know what I mean? I feel like that there, like, is it going to be a juke that he's actually not bad?

And that he was just desperately trying to get in with the family to hear what they were saying about him. Is he actually a part of the FBI? Because that's another question of, like, is he who he says he is? I don't think that they would do that character again of having another one. say I'm your brother, but no, so you have dad, not dad, but also brother, not brother. And I don't think that they would do that. So I think that there's got to be a reason. And I'm sure that he's going to be found out at some point.

He's like, I was just trying to protect you. But he's not trying to protect them. But maybe he's a good guy. They've also had FBI, not FBI, with that guy who was, uh... We haven't had FBI, not FBI. That guy who was the FBI agent who was like working with Archie, who turned out to just be working for Hiram Lodge because my first guess, if that hadn't already happened, would be FBI not FBI because he was like, oh, yeah, join the high school FBI recruitment

program. And Betty was like, is that a thing? And it sounds like it's not a thing. So maybe he's fake. Maybe he's the FBI, not FBI. But again, we've already done that. I don't know. I don't know.

But there's just so much happens. Just so many things are happening that who the fuck knows? But do you think that there is going to be another black hood? Or do you think it's going to be someone like the black hood? No, I think that what you said last episode is going to, is what's, I think that we're, I think they're setting us up for a some kind of hopefully ghost-ish past time, maybe not time traveling, but like hopefully a lot of flashbacks, unsolved, long time mystery of these grandparents who went to Stonewall Prep.

and then because, well, I don't know, this is a different time to jump back to, but there also is the whole Cheryl's absorbed twin, which is also from the past. Let's talk about it. Let's do it because we now know. Betty thinks that this was solved that, oh, it was just her sister, Polly,

calling her, but I don't think that you just get phone usage whenever you want at a treatment center, I'm fairly sure. But so she thinks it's Polly. Is it possible that the people who were calling Betty were also from Stonewall Prep like to fuck with Jughead? That is also possible. Because it, like, so she doesn't have caller ID on her home phone

because, of course. I mean, it also goes hand in hand, which we didn't even talk about the VHS tapes that everyone is getting of someone just recording up front of their house. You know, I forgot about that. Now, I hadn't even thought about another serial killer, but I forgot about the VHS tapes of people's homes

that everyone is receiving. Yes. So, you know, that does make it sound like there's going to be another serial killer, unless it's a ghost. What if it's a ghost? Because a VHS is from a different time. It could be a ghost, to which I would fucking love that. See, this is my whole thing where, so Jeff was screaming about,

and then he had to get into the whole idea and concept of Batman Nightfall, which I guess is something, something dark night rises, that what he thinks is really happening is that it all comes from the shady, Grove Treatment Center as a way to, like, I guess what happens in that comic book is that all of the, like, the, I'm saying this as someone that has absolutely no idea. All of the bad guys are coming at Batman at once. And in the end, he loses as a way because they are all trying to wear him down. That all of this stuff is coming at all four of them from all different sides. That is at the treatment center that is trying to wear them down to get them to not pay attention to.

to some bigger issue that's happening. I don't know. That would be very like convent, not convent. You know, we've done that too. Well, we've had convent, not convent. We've definitely had convent, not convent. So I don't know because it would make sense because also it's like, where's Hermione Lodge?

And then in my stone stupor last night, I was like, what if Hermione Lodge owns the psychiatric hospital and that this is all of her way to get back at her, like, Hiram in some. some big, fucked up way, which she could be that conniving, who knows? How would it be getting back at Hiram, though? Who knows? It's going to get him because he owns the prison. She must have something. I feel like she's done some kind of deal because I know that Molly Ringwald is going to

play her lawyer at some point to get her out of jail. Yeah, okay. So she's also in prison. Okay. She, yeah, she's also, she's in jail or she's in prison and Hiram's in prison. Because, of course, you know, no parents. I'm sorry. We got to get back to show.

Cheryl. Cheryl. Cheryl. She absorbed the twins. I have to say, I've never seen a more understanding relationship than T.T. and Cheryl in this show. So T.T.T. finds out last episode that she's got her, that she dug up her brother's corpse, and her brother's corpse is in the chapel of Dessel House. And she is talking to the corpse and hanging out with the corpse. And then so we open up and Tony and Cheryl are hanging out. the corpse. And Tony's like, babe, you really got to get rid of this corpse. When the episode started, it's turned to getting it and I was like, did we miss an episode

that was devoted to T.T. and Cheryl discussing the corpse? Because we seem to have jumped from, oh, you're hanging out with your brother's corpse to I'm totally cool with you hanging out with your brother's corpse. I'm completely fine with this. Anything you want, babe. And also, I do have to say, I'm very, I'm pretty sad that their poison ivy, Harley Quinn sex scene was cut short. I'm going to throw that out there because mama me of those outfits. Oh, God damn, it's just, see, and that's

another thing where Jeff's like, see, Batman. I was like, don't Batman at me. Well, I was like, aren't they like literally as they started going at it, I was like, aren't they supposed to be watching twins and then the babies cried on the monitor? And I was like that, that's more like it. Babies cried.

You can't just hang out in a different wing than the babies all the time. No, and also, like, how do they even get ready like that? Like, you know, even just as a nanny, I'm aware, you can't put makeup on. I haven't shower. I don't shower until both children are asleep. Yes, that's it. It's the only time and if they both fall asleep. If not, you're a stinky mom. But they're living their best life whilst watching twins. And honestly, I'm happy for them because, you know, what that I could. But also, it seems that they leave the twins in the capable hands of, you know.

geriatric Nana Rose. Geriatric dementia suffering, Nana Rose, who is jumping in between time periods and who gave us the hint last episode. But I have a question for you, because last episode she was like,

oh, Padelope, I can hear the triplets crying in the nursery. But then this episode, we learned that Cheryl absorbed what the other triplet, Julian, in the womb, which is hilarious and a great choice by Riverdale, except that it doesn't make sense that Nana Rose said, I heard the triplets crying in the nursery, except that Nana Rose's explanation was there was this

ventriloquist dummy looking thing that was used as the substitute. That the ghost of Julian lives inside of. So hear me out. All right. This has to do with the treatment center. What if the third one was born? Nana Rose heard them crying in the nursery, but in the hospital.

And the third one was taken. and was told that the third one was absorbed by Cheryl. Yeah, the third one's got to be alive because it's no fun to introduce a third twin only to learn that it was absorbed in the womb. Maybe if it's a very substantial ghost, that is fun, which it seems like they're setting it up to be. Which has been fun because they were doing a fun thing. So up top, they're hanging out with JJ's corpse.

And then T.T. convinces Cheryl to bury it again. So they run out there, bury the corpse again. And to get back at Titi, they do a seance, which using a Ouija board, which that's not what a seance is, to talk to because Julian the doll shows up from the attic, which I immediately thought of Charlie MacArthur, Molly's puppet, and that creep me out because the ghost of the third of the triplet is inside of this doll like an Annabelle. So I thought that was like an Annabelle rap.

Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like Cheryl said, she was gaslighting T-T as a way to, to dig back up JJ because she wanted to scare her. But now they are still being plagued by the ghost of Julian, the absorbed triplet that lives inside of a doll. But how was she gas-lighting? She says that at the end, I was gaslighting you, meaning what was Cheryl? moving around the doll to try to, because she kept saying,

Titi, we buried Jason and now his ghost is going to haunt us. So Cheryl was moving the doll herself. Yes, and when they were playing the Ouija board, yes. Uh, okay, okay. And then at the end, the doll actually moves, and Cheryl was like, no, I swear, I didn't do this one. Right. So if they're going to, like,

bring in a very strong poltergeist level demon into this, I'm down. That sounds fucking great, that they have to fight. I'm completely in for more supernatural stuff. But I still think that that third lives, and I think that he's going to come back. Yeah, I think that that that would be great.

I think that, so it sounds like we have a couple of possibilities. We have ghosts. We have kind of abelously old-fashioned insane people. Mm-hmm. And we have just regular old present alive currently in time. I'm serial killer, although a serial killer might be coming from the the insanity treatment center. Because that's where Veronica's plot line was, which is an escaped serial killer from

Shady Grove, right? That's, and that's all the thing. And I also wonder that, or is it Penelope Blossom that is a living in thistle house somewhere and is fucking with Cheryl? Ah, uh-huh. Which also could be that. It could be that. Also, why was that serial killer in, like, what sounds like not a secure facility?

He should be in a jail. I think that was another juke. So, because also, if you notice, all right, let's get back to it. So Veronica's creep show vignette starts with her closing up shop at Pops. And then a dude dressed as a truck driver comes in, says how much he's trying to get home to his family. Can you just cook him a meal, please, because he has to drive through the night. She cooks him a meal. He's very, very creepy.

And then she shows her a picture of his family. And then over the news in front of the serial killer, it is, I believe that it was Alice Cooper breaking the news story of a prisoner that had gotten out of Shady Grove Treatment Center that is known for having his victims make him a meal before he slaughters them is on the loose. That was my favorite. This is this man. He's famous for asking for a home-cooked meal.

And I was the first thing I said when he asked for food, Veronica was like, we're closed. And they asked for food. She was like, okay, the first thing I said was, is the kitchen staff still there? And then she goes, oh, hell no. I hope it's okay because I made the burger myself. And I'm like, yeah, right. Veronica, I'm sorry, Veronica cannot make a burger, even a burger that's probably pre-made in a diner. Absolutely not.

She can't even cut carrot sticks. No. I'll guarantee you. I'm not saying this as, I'm not saying, the actress. I'm saying the character. No way Veronica has ever done it. Veronica Luna, please, has ever done anything in a kitchen before.

No, she's got a driver. No, yeah, what do you? It's just, you know, that's fine. So it makes her this burger, was going to give him some pie doing the whole thing, realizes it's the murderer. So she goes downstairs into La Bonnui. And as she was pouring the whiskey, it was like, oh my God, is she going to set him on fire? Yeah. But how did she, the plan was contingent.

on the fact that he came down the stairs with a zippo in his hand. Another zippo with a zippo in his hand to try and see in front of him. So did she know that this was going to happen? Like, how else was she going to set him on fire with a whiskey? Good question. Or was she just going to pour a whiskey on him? And also, didn't this used to be, this is a speakeasy. Remember when they had the casino night and it's riddled with guns?

Don't they have a gun in there? Good question. Also, yeah, they've definitely had guns down there before. But, you know, Veronica's always trying to self-improve. She's always to be like, Reggie, no more guns, you know. She's definitely the goop of Riverdale. I will give for that. So she sets him on fire and runs up the stairs, and the next you hear from Veronica, she's just like laying in bed talking to Archie's like, wow, babe, you're like badass.

You're badass. You're badass for setting a serial killer on fire. And all you have to say is, yeah, babe, you're badass. Somehow not starting the rest of the establishment on fire. somehow not having any sort of like police call incident report. Presumably the police came to collect his body. But yeah, she really kind of skated out of that one. I wonder if he dies and maybe is it that the family man is a different person

and that he was just copping the style of the family man, like he had come out of Shady Grove with the dude that was the family man, and he was going to do that, like he was another murderer. and that the family man is still on the loose and is he going to be the next serial killer? Do you think it's possible that this guy wasn't a serial killer at all but was just actually a trucker or no because he did chase Veronica? He did chase her so I do think that he's,

he had bad intentions, but you think who else is obsessed with family and getting back to his family? Charles FBI. Yeah, but that's what I was thinking too. And the first thing Gideon said when the call started saying, I'm coming from inside the house as he said it's Charles.

But then Charles sat with Betty while the call came in. And so I was like, no, it's not Charles. And Charles was with Betty when that guy was over at, you know, at Pops. And so that wasn't Charles either. Unless it's a group of serial killers. Maybe we're going into like a time of a, what is it called when they're like a, like the vampire cowboys or Hollywood vampires. Like a super group.

You know what I mean? Like a super group. A supergroup of murderers that are coming to town where it's like almost like a crossover, Freddie versus Jason type thing. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. So our possibilities now are grandparent ghost generation, either haunting or flashback.

We've got escaped people from the sanitarium. We've got regular real serial killers. We've got cadre of escaped serial killers all from the sanitarium. I don't know. We don't know anything about Charles's backstory. I don't trust him. I also don't know if it's another juke. I think that I'm using the word juke properly.

But I know that I think it's, I don't know if it's called a juke when you're writing, when you're writing a television show, is that we also need to talk about, Ken, I might say of all of the creepy, creepy, creepy things that happened in this episode, what the fuck is wrong with Principal Honey? Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah. Is wrong with that dude?

Is it a juke or is he like bad bad? I'm extremely uncomfortable about him. And I said last episode that like I'm worried about him like and like it made me like viscerally uncomfortable that he called the cops on Cheryl's party because I was like that's like not something an adult man should do to a teenage girl like be like I'm watching you at home. And then today he was just alone all night in his office with a teenage boy. It's not okay. And then destroyed his car. And destroyed his car. And so now when you were talking about, you reminded me that the teacher from

Mr. Chipping from Stonewall Prep. Mr. Chicking from Stonewall Prep. He is also creepy. So is there going to be like a bad teachers? Teacher thing? Because also he was victim blaming Reggie. Like bringing up, also bringing up the fact that his father abuses him. The whole thing, I was like, of all of the things, this dude is upsetting me the most, like, on an actual level.

On an actual level, I was like, there needs to be another adult in that room. That child could not be alone in the room with that adult. Shouldn't be, shouldn't be whilst talking about child abuse, shouldn't, like, violation after violation after violation. I am, I just, you know, not to be like this because I don't believe in an eye for an eye when it comes to real life, but I do believe in an eye for eye in Riverdale. And I hope that dude gets it. I hope it's a juke, but he still gets it. or is he the one that's recording all of the homes on VHS? Why, though? Why? Why? Why the, why?

I don't know. We don't know. But something's... Because maybe it also could harken back to the whole idea, which goes, oh, oh, Molly. It makes so much sense because it would go back to the generations of the grandparents because Hal Sparks's father was also a serial killer that was trying to purify Riverdale. of its sinners. That's true. So what if that this dude has something to do with that, that maybe he's filled with the ghost of Hal's father?

Or something like, I just got chills. I got chills again. Oh, my God. It's going to have something to do with the grandparents. It has to. They've brought in, now they are including all of them, right? Yes. Yeah.

So that's Betty's grandfather, Veronica's grandfather, and Jughead's grandfather, and Cheryl's grandfather. And Cheryl's, yeah. And we already met Titi's grandfather. Titi's grandfather. He's alive and well. He's O.G. Serpent. Yeah, O.G. Serpent.

And Archie's probably, we've probably heard about Archie's father. Archie's father's probably another townie. Yeah, who was also like probably loved the town, I'm sure. Oh, my God. Well, it turns out my grandfather just loved Riverdale. Yeah, that's good. Because we've got a number of present individuals who can't be trusted. Mr. Honey, Mr. Chipping, and Charles being kind of the top three.

But then we've got every character now with a grandparent, except for Archie explicitly, but every character with a grandparent with some, you know, skin in the game. Oh, my God, I'm so excited. I am so excited. Thank you guys. I'm sorry, there's just so many theories. They're, they're killing it. The writers are killing.

it this season. Yeah, I'm enjoying this season quite a lot. Because it's insane, but it's not as insane. Like, it's still weirdly like, okay, I get where, I get how you got here. Yeah, yeah, I'm enjoying it more than the end of the third season, if I dare say. Oh yeah. And I think that it, now it is a part of my everyday vernacular of saying that I'm using my Riverdale logic, that every time I'm using my Riverdale logic, I've just jumped five plot points into what I'm talking about, like, and therefore using Riverdale logic. Yeah, of course, I accidentally set the house on fire. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like yada, yada, yada, like, you know, it happened. Riverdale, Riverdale. I've now moved, you know. Thank you guys so much for joining us

this week on Riverdale Roundup. I am just, I'm over the moon. Please again, hit us up if you've got any have you got any of your own theories because there is nothing sweeter than the beautiful phrase, did I call that or did I fucking call that? So let's throw down because it's all fun and I want to give props to people that are calling

this shit that we aren't calling. Yeah, yeah. You're calling a lot. You're on fire, Jackie. Thank you. This is, honestly, I need to bring Jeff in because this is Jeff and I talking for at least an hour and a half after we watch every episode. And we have to, like, to a point there was like,

We have to stop talking about it. We got to like, we have to stop. So we're on it. We're here and I am obsessed with it. We love you guys. And we'll talk to you next week. Bye. Bye.

This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.