Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Vol. 44: Breakfast on the Beach

Episode Date: January 29, 2020

Oh boy we are back, but is Riverdale? This episode is almost too normal and smooch-free and we. are. mad. about. it   Listen to Riverdale Roundup free on Spotify!   Need more hot goss? Support us on our Patreon page and get weekly bonus Patreon-exclusive content!   Intro song by Green Dreams   Local Forecast - Elevator, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey y'all, it's Babeay Jay here to remind you guys about our move to Spotify. So this show along with all your other LPN favorites is going exclusive to Spotify on Valentine's Day 2020. That means you'll only be able to listen to this episode, future episodes, and our entire back catalog of shows over on Spotify starting on February 14th. So if you haven't tried Spotify, it's free and easy to download and use on any device. No credit card needed. Just download the app. for your favorite LPN shows on Spotify and listen to all of our episodes

like you normally would. No matter what kind of account you choose, you can always download for offline listening for free. This show and all your favorite music in one place, what are you waiting for? Listen to the last podcast network, free on Spotify. I gotta break of my heart.

Except my heart's not even broken. You know, I don't even know how to feel. How do we feel? Hi, Molly. How are you? Hi, Jackie. I'm good. How are you? And I'm so curious to hear about your emotions about this episode. It was, we, so yes, guys, we're back. We're back from the winter break. We are talking today about Riverdale Chapter 67, Varsity Blues. The second I opened up my CW app and I saw that it was just them playing football. I was like, wait a second. Wait a second. Did we just transport through time back to season one?

And that's how I felt through the rest of the episode because I will say, and don't get me wrong, I love normal Riverdale, early days of Riverdale, where it's just a spunky group of teens, you know, which also Archie doesn't play football anymore. Wasn't that like a big thing? Yeah. He boxes now. He's a boxer now. They have a ban on the boxer plot line with the readiness and speed that they should have done it in season three. And I, for one, he's, at one point, even in this episode, he goes, oh, yeah, I used to be really into it. And I'm like, okay, self-aware Riverdale.

I used to be went on. Brava, brava, Riverdale, for knowing exactly what you do, where you're just like, oh, yeah, yeah, remember that huge potline? Tha. What plot line? Wait a second. I remember, though, from this season that we had had that scene way back, remember the beginning of this season when Reggie's dad came and, you know, yelled at him on the field. Oh, you mean the child abuse? Yes. Yeah, we had our very special episode plotline and that took place. They were all on the football team because then Reggie was all mad at

Mad Dog also a plotline that's completely abandoned. Reggie was like, yeah, Monroe, go for it. But so now, yeah, now they're buddies. Now they're all buddies. Oh yeah, because they helped Reggie smash his dad's car, I think. But in any case, they have been playing football. But I'm also confused about what month it is because football is fall thing. And this is like, usually Riverdale, like, follows the course of the school year. It's very confusing. No, I have no idea. I have no idea between that.

But they are getting their acceptance letters still for college because now Jughead's going to Yale, everybody. Exqueez me. There's a lot of, I had a lot of exquisite me moments in this episode. And I was sad that if you were going to go back to OG, Riverdale plot lines, why isn't there any fucking in it? I want smooches. I didn't get one smooch. I need rub downs and I want suck-ons.

Yeah. So your primary problem with this episode, as far as I can tell, is that there wasn't enough, like, magical murders in it. Yes. There was no magic, no murders, no cult stuff, no VHS videos being delivered to people's houses, no serial killer jeans, no powerpoints about being able to tell who the serial killer is. Where is fake brother? I want to know what's going on with that. Is he out recording people's doorways while they're sleeping? I don't know. This is down to the fact that we are supposed to, of all

of the things that I am told to suspend my disbelief on, I draw the line at the idea than an upper class, upper richies, white prep school has a better football team than any public school, because that is a lie. Also, something that I just became aware of in this episode, although I realize now it's been going on for a long time, is that the idea that Riverdale is like the poor kid's school. But meanwhile, back in season two, the whole plot line was that Riverdale was the rich kid public school. And that Southside High was the poor kid. poor kid public school. And yes, admittedly, some of the students from South High South South South South South had then got sent to Riverdale. But like Archie's not poor. Betty's not poor.

Veronica's not poor. Look at the houses they live in. They all live in nice ass suburban houses. And maybe like prep school kids think everybody who goes to public school is poor. That's probably real. But I was like there was, I feel like this episode was all about like the scrappy working class kids at Riverdale. And I was like, these are a bunch of fucking suburban, you know, upper middle class kids and go to a like very nice well-funded public school. Half and half, I was like, am I watching Friday Night Lights right now? Right. It had very season four Friday Night Light vibes where you're like, but wait, wait, wait,

we've been going for this team the entire time and we've been this way. It's like this was the North, like it has all of those same class disparities. We're just like, okay, well, but, okay. Oh, oh, yeah, the stallions. We're supposed to know all about the Stonewall Prep Stallions. Yeah. Yeah. And I like that there's really only two kids who go to Stonewall, which is Brett and Denise.

Is that her name? I don't know. She's, I, aye, aye, aye with that one. At one point, there's a ritual scene where Jughead is brought into the cult. And they all have to tell their deepest, darkest secrets. So there's only two people at the meeting besides Jughead. So there's two people at the meeting. They are in the basement.

So they go down. He's invited to the Quillen Skull, like, welcoming meeting, that it is just, which then it goes further, is that is the Quillen Skull just a lie that Brett, an old Whatser face just made up to. That's totally, yeah. Right? It's, it has to see them because it's just the two of them and their weird skull. And it's not even included with the other people, the other characters that never have lines that are always. in the stonewall prep scenes with them. So they take them downstairs and they both just on a whim give their deepest, darkest secrets,

which also someone points at you and says, Molly, tell your deepest darkest secret. Number one, hell no. Number two, I'd have to think for at least 15 minutes to be like, all right, what is like the most traumatizing thing that ever happened to me? Because I'm going to go ahead and throw it out there. That Jughead said that when he was on the streets, that he had some dude that used to save him from the junkies in the neighborhood and this homeless guy got beaten to death in front of him and he didn't do anything about it. So that was his deepest, darkest secret. He said he's

never told Betty. He's ever even told Betty that. Um, what? I feel like he's done even worse things in the show. Yeah, we've seen Jughead do worse things. Jugghead has witnessed so many murders. Like, you know, Jughead, like... He's covered up a murder. Yes, he waged a war in the woods, like, six months ago against Spinellopy Blossom. Like, I know. Didn't they kill a serial killer?

I was like, is Jughead faking them out? That was my question. Like, are they all faking each other out? Like, are Brett and Denise faking him out? And then he was like, oh, I'm going to tell a pretty innocuous. Not that, like, you know, letting a... homeless person be beaten to death is like... No, that's rough. That's rough. But in the world of Rarredale, that's nothing.

No, and so Brett said that his dad got him a hooker when he was 14 to force him to lose his virginity and he said he was scared not to because he said that his father was going to kill him. And then, oh, what's her face said that she used to cut because she was sexually assaulted by a family member and no one believed her. Now, this, I'm watching this and I was just like, what the fuck is happening? I know. That was such a weird scene. Like, I, it was such a weird scene where I felt for these two characters that I don't

give a fucking shit about. But I was like, why are they doing this? They're obviously doing this to get information against Jughead because I think that whatever the flash forward is, but now I don't even know what's going on with the flash forward because for a while I was with it. I was like, okay, he's writing the book. He's writing the, what is it? The binky bong twins.

Yeah, the Baxter brothers. Baxter brothers. He's right back. and the whole thing is just the story. Obviously not if it's real. It has gone off the rails. I have no idea what's happening now. I'm assuming that they are going to try and set up Betty to say that he killed Jughead,

but I'm guessing that Jughead is just going to be maybe on the run. Yeah, I fear that we were playing three-dimensional chess when Riverdale was just playing two-dimensional chess, you know? I think we may have overthought. Yes. then what's happening. I am now, I'm taking step back, step back, step back. I'm like, okay, let's reevaluate here.

Jackie, you may have lost your head because you would get two stoned and watch Riverdale and then talk with Got Daddy for like 45 minutes about your theories about what's happening with the show. I don't know if any of it's happening with the show. Because you've got to look. So now, so then you have to look at the normal plot line of the fact that Principal Honey,

which also I don't know if you noticed, but his name is Holden Honey. Yes, I did notice his name was Holden. That Holden Honey. I had to pause it. I was like, ew, of course his name is Holden. Not that I'm grossed out by anyone named Holden just because of Holden McNeillan. And he's wearing these very, you know what, the colors don't look good on you, Principal Honey.

I'm just going to go ahead and say. And Principal Honey will not allow Cheryl to be the head bitch. in charge of the vixen's anymore. So now they brought in a little sexy young thing, Mrs. Appleyard, who never wears any clothes to be the coach of the cheerleading squad. And as someone that has been watching a lot of cheer, she has the audacity to come in with her jogging bra on, also wearing a shirt that says HCIC, which I'm assuming means head coach in charge.

And that made me mad because Cheryl used to wear HBIC. and that stand for bitch. That stand for bitch. I'm sorry. I feel like I'm just yelling. I need to calm down for a second. I need to calm down. I need to take a step.

I need to breathe. I was so mad. I was so inexplicably mad the entire episode because I was waiting. I was like, and then somebody gets murdered. And then there's a ghost. And there wasn't. It was too normal.

And I hate it. It was very normal. I got to say I didn't hate it as much as you. I'm sorry. And I, you know, play the tape. There's certainly for months, if not years, I've been calling for a return to season one style of Riverdale. I want sexy teens having sexy problems with a little bit of murder, you know. Sure.

I don't want it to be most, I don't want it to be true detective with teens and an incomprehensible fucking storyline, you know, which is what it's been. for the last year and a half. Oh, I mean, you know, I just be going to, but at least it makes it ridiculous. Yes. Right. And I got to say that you're right. The stakes were very, very, very low in this episode. We have Archie's random ass uncle coming into town.

At first I was like, got to be fake uncle. But then Mary. Uncle Daddy. Uncle Daddy. But then Mary was like, I hate you, Uncle Daddy. And so he's real. He gave Mad Dog pills, Monroe. Sorry, he gave Monroe pills.

That was kind of fun. I was actually disappointed in Uncle Daddy. So if you guys remember in the end of winter time, even though there's still football going on, the last episode, Uncle Daddy shows up, new bearded Fred Andrews, Fred Andrews brother, who's apparently a bad boy. And bad boy Uncle Daddy comes into down, you know what? Going to go and throw it out there. I feel like he's trying desperately to be a mix of Daddy FP and Daddy. Fred and he is not hitting the mark for either one of them. I'm disappointed in Uncle Daddy.

Yeah, Uncle Daddy's boring. I keep wanting him to be Brian Austin Green. Yes, he's just, he's a poor man's Fred Andrews. Yeah. Can I just say it? He's a poor man's Fred Andrews that happens to have a bad streak and he comes in. I was like, ooh, Uncle Daddy has some sort of pill addiction. Okay, I'm into this.

But it's not even like a fun, like call it a fun name at least. Take these like tippy-tappy, like, concks. Call them something that's dumb and fun. Otherwise, oh, no, you're just giving an underage person a new addiction to an actual real drug. And that's not fun. Yeah. Real addiction isn't fun. Right.

It was a very, very, like, like, right. It wasn't even like, now we have to take down the fancy pants empire. It was just like, you're a grown man who just gave, like, oxycodone to a teenager. so that he could like hurt himself to get a scholarship. Even further. And then at one point he goes, Monroe's a grown man, Archie. He can make his own choices.

And I'm like, well, he's not a grown man. He's definitely a child. He's in high school. I mean. But at the same time, he was, I feel like this dude doesn't even know, although there was the offhanded when they're like, they're having like a pseudo father's son meal at pops.

And he's like, well, you know, I did fight a bear once. You got to remember, this was less than a year ago. Archie was on the run. You got to remember that Monroe and Archie were in an underground betting fighting ring that was in the juvie that they were sentenced to. And now, like, it's like, oh, I hope I get into college. Yeah. What? This just happened.

You just were on the run. Yeah. Right. Monroe is, first of all, definitely played by a 33-year-old. So not Uncle Daddy's fault for mistaking him for a grown man. And you know what? He is. he's getting yummier by the episode

maybe that's because I'm so desperate to watch any of them kiss on each other but there hasn't been a lot of kissing so I understand your thirst I'm dry as the Sahara over here yeah there was that was a modicum of spice

you know grown creepy uncle giving pills to the teen but but the only other real like we kind of went back to the Betty and Veronica both had you know, kind of Betty had an age appropriate

plot line of being like, I need to publish an article in the newspaper. And that was kind of fun. Which we need to talk about Betty, by the way. And then Veronica's whole thing was like she's still doing her dumbass raw empire plotline, which I've never given a shit about. I, all right,

so let's just talk about Betty real fast. So Betty in the entire episode, she is writing an article essentially to take down the Stonewall Prep Stallions. Because of course they play which I've when when I think it was Reggie or Monroe

said to her that the stallions play to hurt and she writes down in her investigative journal play to hurt and underlined her I did laugh a lot and she goes to Principal Holden Honey and it's just like they play to hurt

and because she wants to bring down the fact that they play to hurt so what does she do how does she get her insider information the stallions are having a party and who does she send Monica who is Veronica but in a blonde wig again I love that she just thinks like oh I'll just put a blonde wig on and have like extra necklaces on and the neckline will really seduce Brett into telling me all of his other deep and dark and dirty secrets which when she said can I take your order and he said

take go up to my room and take off your clothes and get into my bed I paused it and I was like I'm gonna fucking kill this motherfucker yeah I was so disgusted in me like you can I it's hard to upset and offend me and there are times like that there I'm just like yuck you fucking punch that motherfucker in the face I know I did not like the Veronica was like uh-huh and I get that she was like there to get information but she still should have need him in the ball yeah at least do something spicy do something because like hell no I don't what character I'm playing.

You're going to get need in the dick if you say something like that to me. And, you know, I will hand it to Riverdale that, like, Brett Weston Willis is an obnoxious character played by an actor who's good at being super obnoxious. He's very good at it. Yeah, but it's, like, too easy. It's like, he's, like, such a, like,

I get it, you're a rich boy. It's like, there's no, you know, they're purposefully breaking the arms of all the football captains. You are making your case to me, as I think more about the episode, that it was all just very kind of low stakes. And I feel like we went from like an episode ago being like the stakes are that like, there's a corpse in a house. Yeah, there's a corpse in a house.

Jughead's writing his own murder mystery, three generations deep. There's a whole book empire at the whole heart of it. Somebody jumped out a window, you know. And in this episode, it was like, Jughead kind of becomes friends with the assholes and then he accidentally like outs Veronica at this party as a spy and also I'm gonna go ahead and say if I see my bitch wearing a wig I'm going to assume that she's in Carrector.

I know. If you are living in the world of Riverdale, that bitch is under Carrector. I know Jughead's smart. Jughead knows how Betty works. Jughead really looks overseas Veronica in a costume and is like, hey Veronica. Jughead's not a dummy. No, so maybe that's all

Or does that just show that he's further Into the Quill and scroll of like No, fuck you, don't come into My new friend group And start making trouble I think that that's what they're setting us up for I think that Jughead's loyalties are about to flip I don't want his loyalty

Or is that way he has to fake his own death That's why I think he's going to be dead I think that he's going to get in with these guys He's going to get in over his head But he's going to be like Betty you don't understand it And that's why Betty and the flash forward is standing at the desk, looking at his stuff. And she's got to be like, I don't understand it, you know?

But then why does Brett say so on the whole? So then jugging up top is like, oh, this recruiter from Yale is coming to see. And he's like, I didn't even apply to Yale. But pa, blah, blah. Spoiler alert, he gets into Yale somehow. And Betty, as we all remember, did not get accepted into Yale. So at the end of the episode, when there's the month forward, flash forward, it's Brett fucking dick face. And he comes into Betty as she's crying and looking at a picture of the two of them.

He's like, well, you finally got what you wanted. And Jughead isn't going to Yale. And I'll see you there in the fall. So now Betty gets to go to Yale. So I'm wondering if there's some sort of weird, you know, handshake bet on the fact that, like, oh, well, if Jughead dies, he can take, like, I can take his place at Yale kind of thing. I feel like that's where they're going, like what they're setting is up for, which again, does not exist when it comes to specifically Ivy League colleges, but I'm going to say all colleges in general. You can't just tap out for your dead friend. But he's dead and I'm sad.

I think they are setting us up for that because member in the Pops interaction when Doughead tells Betty, I got this Yale interview, she's like, yeah, I'm not mad. Do it. You're going to be great. And like, they're definitely setting it up to be like she's super fucking pissed that he's going to Yale. And so that will drive a risk. between them and who is that rift going to send Jughead to who's going to understand Brett who also got into Yale and this bitch Denise who just is around all the time. I like you call her different name. Every I don't remember.

Donna, her name is Donna by the way but also who I mean it's just she is just like do you see we've got a girl there's a smart girl there too. It's like all right we get it Riverdale we see what you're doing here but you don't give her any lines. You don't really give her much of a background, except for the fact that she did poison him the one time, but it was under rule of Brett. I'm waiting for Brett to come

out. I'm hoping that he's not just like a bad, rich boy trying to like, oh, he was going to be against Jughead and now he's with Jughead, but he's going to take Jughead down. I'm hoping it's more than that. I want to see layers. I want to see addiction. I want to see

murder. I want more from him. Yeah, I think they were setting us up for that with his confession about his bad dad. You think they're lies? You think the confessions are lies? I don't know. Either the confessions or lies, and they were used to coerce jughead and to be getting close to them.

And Brett and Donna, I guess, will continue to be these extremely one-dimensional characters who are just villains. Or they're trying to give Brett some layers and we're like, oh, Brett, Brett's got a bad dad. Brett's got some trauma and they're going to keep building on that. All I can hope is that maybe Brett and Reggie come together to both get rid of their bad dads. And that is something I'd also be interested in seeing. That would be good. If Riverdale just turns into like a dad revenge show, that would be awesome.

And then eventually down the line, you find out that maybe Uncle Daddy has done some other bad things against Fred Andrews and then we go against Uncle Daddy too. Uncle Daddy's got to be a villain, right? He has to be bad. There's no way that he's, I don't. think he can be good and I think that he's going to be, I'm assuming that eventually Molly Ringwald's going to have to quote, go back to Chicago. So I feel like he's going to be the father figure, but I feel like he's going to be bad. Why didn't they get Jason Priestley or Brian Austin Green to do it? I like the whole keep it in the 90210.2 universe. I know. I'm very, I am very sad about it. But I will say he does kind of, I feel like he looks like a mixture of

Fred Andrews and Steve Zahn. I kept getting a Steve Zon vibe from him. Do you remember Steve Zon? don't. I'm looking it up right now. He's from that thing you do, and he was in Saving Silverman. Yeah. I was really in love with Steve's on, so. Oh, yes, you're definitely right. Absolutely. So then also, while all of this is going on, we know that Cheryl can't keep the vixens from being a dance team anymore.

They have to go back to being a cheer team because Ms. Appliard says so, even though, again, I'm watching cheer right now, so I know that it's all of it mix in together. just cheering. But Cheryl then locks Miss Appal Yard in a closet and they still get to dance perform Cherry Bomb while watching the footballers play. Yeah, I love that in the world of Riverdale because everything's a musical montage. And I got to say, I am always there for a Riverdale musical montage, except for the time it was set to all that jazz.

That made me very mad. But all the rest of the time. That was very upsetting. I love their musical numbers. I love how it's just sometimes just trying to. turns into a musical. And I loved this one. I was absolutely there for it.

It felt very season one in a good way. And I love that they just sing and dance all through the first half of the football game. And it's definitely happening at the same time. No one cares. It's like it would be such a distraction. And I just think it's terrific. Also, I don't know if you noticed the part when Cheryl was just straight up just lifted up her skirt and just like rubbing on her top butt.

I was like, what is happening? I was very scandalous about that. I was like, why is this? teenager lifting up her skirt. Yes, but at the same time, I'm so desperate for kisses that I'll take it. I was just like, did you see her upper thigh? Like, who am I? I said, did you see her upper thigh about a quote-unquote underage person on a television show?

You know, but the relationships in Riverdale, as admittedly does happen sometimes as I remember in high school relationships. I was never in a high school relationship, but I remember that sometimes they just turn into kind of old married couples. And I feel like, Cheryl and Tony are just like, they're just, I admire, they're just like partners in life at this point, but there's not a lot of sex going on between them. Betty and Jughead, we didn't see any sex with them. I don't even know what Archie and Veronica's relationship status is right now because Veronica's

too busy. And then half for half a second, I was like, wait, is Veronica shed up and Reggie again? Because they had more scenes together than she had with Archie. Archie's too busy being a white savior. And I did appreciate that Monroe was like, Red, this isn't your decision to make. That's true. It is sketchy that the uncle daddy gave him drugs. But I appreciate that Monroe was like, get out of my life, Fred.

You know, that was fair. Stop. Yeah. It's like, I appreciate the fact that you helped me get out of the situation I was in. But also, you do not own me just because you helped me. And I think that that as part of having a savior complex is that, well, now Monroe is his. to control. It's like, no, he's fucking not. You can do whatever the fuck he wants to do.

Right, right. And just because you're captain of the football team, allegedly, even though you're too busy running a boxing gym to actually be captain. And being a vigilante by night. And being a vigilante by night. And hanging out with Uncle Daddy all the time. When are they going to school? When are they doing their homework? What are they applying to colleges? It takes a little while to write a college essay. Jughead shows, and I think that everyone should take this, You don't have to apply to college.

College will just come to you. They'll throw themselves at you. You don't have to do anything for it. It's great. It really works out. You'll read a short story of yours. And then you're in. It's all you have to do.

You don't need any other extracurriculars. You don't need to be working for your entire life towards it. Just like, and you know what? I would be pissed if I was Betty. I would be very pissed. Yeah. Betty's over here trying to suppress her own serial killer jeans. Been, you know, Mrs. Perfect for her whole.

life and all jughead has to do is write at HP Lovecraft knockoff and and he's into an Ivy League with some rich kids and he's in and then I guess we should probably talk about Veronica because because the underage girl that is now running a rum ring she's running a rum ring and because she's used daddy's recipe but she's like so how do I get around it oh I'll put some spices in it Did you notice they always paused every time they were about to say the word spices before she put it in? I was like, hopefully maybe there's some sort of drug. That's when I first saw it. I was like, oh, maybe she put drugs in it.

It's called Luna Rum now. And she immediately sells to someone, but of course she sells it to one of Hiram's friends. So what does Hiram do? Because he's the mayor of town in complete control of absolutely everything that happens at Riverdale. He comes in with a seasoned assist because he had his chemists. Look at the makeup of both of their rums. To see if the recipe was the same and the recipe is the same, except for her spices. And so she wants to switch it up.

And she's like, oh, Daddy, I'm never going to work for you, Daddy. Because, of course, he offers an olive branch. And he's like, but we could work together. You know they're going to end up working together. Of course. Because she can't get away from how obsessed she is with her, Daddy. Daddy. It's gone too far.

Finally, though, first time at four years, she was like, you know what? I don't think we can work together. There's just been too much that's happened. And like you tried for years to kill my boyfriend. You definitely like had someone's head cut off. You know, so that was nice to see her finally say, Daddy, not this time. Not this time, Daddy. And I am, I will say I'm scared because we haven't seen Hermione in a little bit.

And I feel like she's going to come back with some kind of comeuppance because they're back together. So she is in Riverdale, but I feel like she's plotting something against him. But I got to say, I feel like a little bit excited about how the episode ends, which is. Cheryl inexplicably has her own homemade snow cone after the football game with her own fucking personal ass family blossom brand maple syrup And in my head she just brought her own snow comb And then she's like you know what this ice needs? I think I'm going to put a bunch of maple syrup on it

And Veronica's like is that maple as if you wouldn't be able to tell that you were just eating fucking ice with maple syrup on it and Cheryl's like, yeah, it is. And then Veronica mixes her rum with the maple syrup. And they're like, genius. And I like it because I think that it's like a, either like a fireball and or like a honey Hennessy allusion. You know, have you had that like that really good? I mean, you know I drink fireball by the dozen, unfortunately.

Fireball is a delicious. light and like there's definitely like apple honey Hennessy and so I was like oh this is like a trashy girl and I say that as somebody who loves both of those liquors like this like oh yeah no I'm trashy girl like a trashy girl liquor homage like a sweet maple instead of like honey heny it's it's maple rum and I'm here for it I would drink that I love it when the second that Cheryl said this is like breakfast on the beach and in my head I was like oh I just was thinking of like eating a bunch of french toast with a bunch of like like the sand keeps blowing in from the beach so it's kind of crunchy because there's sand all over it and so when she said that

i was like that's not at all what i pictured when i had thought of maple rome i've had cocktails with maple it's like a season it's like a winter like it's like a christmas like i like maple rum sounds like a nice christmas drink and she said breakfast on the beach and i was like that's disgusting beach. Like sausage. Also, I imagine, too, it's like, you're like coconut, suntan lotion. It's also dripping off your face into said sand-covered breakfast. Like some, like, sausage and pancakes covered in maple syrup on the beach and the sun.

It's hot. Sounds awful. Yeah. Thick, thick breakfast. I will say, even though I know that we don't have blossom maple syrup, I think we need to mix some rum with some maple syrup as an experiment. you see what it would taste like. Okay, I'm not pregnant anymore. Will you do this with me?

Can we do it next week? Yes, absolutely, absolutely. All right. I don't have any rum in my house, but I'll buy some spiced rum and I'll get some maple syrup and we're going to mix them together. I think we should do this for when we record next week in the morning.

I think it would be really good for us. I think it's just really ruin a day by drinking maple syrup and rum early in the day. No, we have to do it like, Like Veronica and Cheryl were doing it too, which is to have a container of maple syrup and a glass, a bottle of rum, a full bottle of rum, and then a glass. And just pour them in. Just mix it like that. Get it nice and viscous.

That's what I always say about rum. I was like, it's not thick enough. I want rum to be thicker. I want it to be like something I could pour on pancakes. Yeah. That's old too. We'll make pancakes and we'll pour. on her pancakes. You went to that?

You know what? I bet it's delicious. It's got to be delicious, but it's not going to taste like breakfast on the beach. It's going to taste like Christmas. It's going to taste like Christmas. And I'm excited for it. Well, I mean, I think that that's it that we can talk about when it comes to this episode. It is just... We covered

everything. I mean, it's a normal, it's a normal episode, which I really think, knowing Riverdale, that means that they're going to come back and slap us in the fucking face of like, remember, This? Like, no.

Yeah. Someone's organs are getting taken out next week. Yes. I think it's going to be great. I really want the, I want the mental health expert. I want like the therapist to come back. They mentioned her. They mentioned her.

You heard they were like Mrs. Burbles. What's her name? Burble. Yes. I want to see her come back. I want to see if Miss Appleyard is evil, which would also be fun if Miss Appalier and Principal Honey were in cahoots and something. Because Miss Appleyard's definitely got something to hide.

Why would a grown woman be so mad at a teen? She's so mean about it. There's no need to be that mean. Obviously, like, even when she brought, when Cheryl brought her the muffins as a hay, like, as a peace offering, and she just, what did she say? Like, I don't need your overcooked to muff it. It's like, she was such a fuck. Oh, and then she body shamed her and told her to get back. I was so furious.

That's right. When she's like, excuse me, my body is perfect. I know. I was like, hell yeah, Cheryl. That's awesome. Yeah, she body shame Cheryl She was like maybe more time in the gym And less time in the muffin factory or whatever

And I was like, this is monstrous Bitch, and also Cheryl's body is perfect Go fuck yourself Yeah Can you imagine I know that like unfortunately a lot of Coaches and things like that Do shame teens

That are you know That are working for them in high school Not working for them but working with them in high school And unfortunately people do that And I don't want to see it My Riverdale. Now I want Miss Appalier to be taken out. Yeah, well that's why I was absolutely rooting for Cheryl

to lock her in the closet. All the adults in Riverdale High are extremely inappropriate with the children. Holden Honey is like obsessed with Cheryl. He's really weird. I also think that he was weirdly flirting with Betty. Yes. I don't trust him at all.

Right? I get extremely creepy vibes from him. All of the adults. I don't trust any. of the adults. That wasn't the case with like Principal Weatherby, he was all right, but like all the current adults, they're all sketchy. Yes. And especially

Uncle Daddy is definitely sketchy. Yeah. Uncle Daddy's just like, I love that Archie just was like, don't give him pills. And then he left both of them alone in a room. And then like the next seat, it's like, oh, you gave him pills. You gave him pills. Like, of course he did. You fucking

oh, Archie. You're an idiot, Archie. Stop believing in the goodness of people. Some people are just inherently bad, okay? Especially in the world of Riverdale, but I also don't know if you guys happen to see that it was Skeet Aldrich's birthday this week and watching everyone, like everyone in the cast post pictures on social media about how great he has made me want to die. I love them so much. And also Skeed Alder's been doing TikToks with his daughter, and it makes me love him even more.

Oh, wow. All right, I got to go follow Skid Ulrich. on TikTok, I guess. You do. You really, well, his daughter is great. I mean, she's like, she's an attractive, like, teen girl. She's doing whatever. But he's such a dad when he's doing these TikToks, and I just love it so much. Oh, all right. I'm there for that. We love you guys. Thank you so much for joining. And it's going to get better.

It's going to get better. Stick it out with us. Because I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to keep watching. Yeah, you know we're not, we're not even allowed to go anywhere. We just have to dart doom to watch Riverdale forever. This is forever. We signed our souls to the Griffin King, the Gargoyle King, and this is it. And I'm just as excited about getting back to watching Bughead rub and kiss on each other. They are of age, they're adults, as I am about our move to Spotify. Now, Riverdale Roundup is going Spotify exclusive on Valentine's Day.

Yes, it is February 14th, 2020. So new releases and the entire back catalog of Riverdale Roundup, will be on Spotify exclusively. Now, if you haven't tried Spotify, it's free to download and use on any device. No credit card needed. Even my mother uses Spotify, and she's terrified that the phone's got demons in it.

All of our episodes are already over there, so simply search for Riverdale Roundup and Spotify to start listening for free. You can download all episodes for offline listening with a free account too. So with Spotify, you can listen to all your favorite podcasts and music, at the same time in one place, which is just as exciting as how heartily

I'm grabbing my breasts right now. So please listen to Riverdale Roundup free on Spotify and the rest of the last podcast network. They're over there too. We love ya and we will talk to you next week. Bye. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you.

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