Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Vol. 45: Rum Heads

Episode Date: February 5, 2020

Boy oh boy if we were disappointed that the plot wasn't crazy enough, Riverdale has more than made up for it. We recap S04E11 "Quiz Show and our feathers are ruffled!   Listen to Riverdale Roundup free on Spotify!   Need more hot goss? Support us on our Patreon page and get weekly bonus Patreon-exclusive content!   Intro song by Green Dreams   Local Forecast - Elevator, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey y'all, it's Babeay Jay here to remind you guys about our move to Spotify. So this show along with all your other LPN favorites is going exclusive to Spotify on Valentine's Day 2020. That means you'll only be able to listen to this episode, future episodes, and our entire back catalog of shows over on Spotify starting on February 14th. So if you haven't tried Spotify, it's free and easy to download and use on any device. No credit card needed. Just download the app. for your favorite LPN shows on Spotify and listen to all of our episodes

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Every week with this show. I don't know if, if we're just a glutton for punishment because I'll never stop watching the show. I'll never stop watching Riverdale. Guys, welcome to Riverdale Roundup. It is Riverdale Season 4, episode 11. It's just, you know what?

I asked for this last episode. I asked for it to get nuts again. And you know what? It did. Yeah, I definitely, I think that they were kind of trying to make up for lost time. But I lost myself and a train of thought about will I ever stop watching Riverdale?

And I think that the answer might be I could imagine a world, you know, because they test me, Riverdale. We are being tested. And you know what? I'm here. I'm in the cult. I'll never, I know that I'll never stop. Even if we, I know that I would never stop watching this because we've invested so much. I have to see where all of this is going because last week it was normal teenager stuff again.

And this week, they blew it. all out of the water. They did. They were like, it was like they listened to our episode and they were like, oh, yeah, we forgot about Charles and his serial killer powerpoints. You know, I'm going to personally think that we should take credit for that because I really think they forgot about it and then they brought it back. I think that they have forgotten about a lot of things.

Like every once in a while, I love, honestly, you know what? I'll always give them mazzles on how they pepper in the Black Hood storyline and reminding us yet again because it's like, I do. There's so much that happens that I forget. Now, I don't mean to jump ahead, but I feel that I cannot continue until I say this. What is happening with the underground tickle tape ring that happens to exist in Riverdale? I think that the thing about Riverdale, if you really want to blow your fucking mind when you watch Riverdale, here's what you do. You watch it and you remind yourself that the majority of the people,

watching this show are like, I don't know, 15 and under. And then you remind yourself that the writers know that. And then the third question you ask yourself is why? Why are they doing this? Because why do they have a tickle fetish ring on this show that's like, it'd be like if say but a bell had a tickle frettish ring. It's just like this is, this is a show for 12 year olds, you know? Why are they? I just, the second that it happened, I had to pause it. So I usually watch the show with Gottaddy, but he's out of town. So I'm watching by myself and I immediately started texting. I was like, it's like, guess, guess, guess.

I was like, I want you to start guessing about what's going on with Kevin's plot line right now. What I like is that he had guessed that maybe it had something to do with he becomes a thruple with Cheryl and Titi. I said, no, but I would love to see that. So I'm just throwing that out there, Riverdale Writers. I would definitely love to see that. But I never win my wildest dreams would have thought that when he was going on a grindem date with this fellow that he goes immediately to his hotel room with. And they're hooking up. And it reminded me of a scene of the assassination of Gianni Versauch, which again, I'll never say it enough that you should be watching the assassination of Johnny Versace.

But then he goes, can you make a, he's like, do you want to make a videotape? And I was like, oh, no, Kevin, don't make a videotape. We all, I've, I mean, I've never been burned by them, but I'm scared because I know they're out there. And he's like, no, I have made one before? And then he's like, but have you ever been tickled during the tape? Which, have you seen the documentary tickled? No. Man.

I watch the documentary tickled. And I followed in this dude that made these, it's a similar situation, except he uses the tickle tapes as a way for, it's like blackmail. down the line. Oh. And he blackmails them and says, if you don't do what I say, I'm going to put out this tape, even though, again, they have their clothes on while they're getting tickled, but it is still for fetish sites. And a lot of people don't want anyone to know that they got paid money to get tickled

on a tape, which never, I will say, I hate being tickled. So this is not my thing whatsoever and watching people on the tapes. getting tickled makes me uncomfortable. And now I'm just thinking, like, well, so now fangs is wrapped up into it. And there's a tickle tape fetish ring that lives in Riverdale. And is it going to be a plotline that they let go? Probably. Probably.

But I'm still blown away. Right. This is the question. Will it live after this day? And, you know, obviously there's lots of, I have like, like, I love throughout Riverdale how queer it is and how they just have, like, like, In season one, they started with Kevin, and Kevin was, like, cruising in the woods, and I thought that was, like, so awesome that they were like,

here's this, like, you know, gay teenage boy, and he's, like, making out with people in the woods. And I was like, this is great. This is awesome. Except for the fact that it's always about the woods. It's always when they're going. It's like, you know that also gay teens don't have to just go in the woods, right, Riverdale? Especially since Riverdale is, like, yeah, it's like a town with, like, a number of, like,

underage clubs as also happens in this episode. But, but, but, but yeah, so it's not like I'm like, oh, they shouldn't do like sex things because kids watch it and they totally should. And I love how, and I love how much gay sex there is in Riverdale. I think it's wonderful. And in general, the amount of sex in Riverdale is perfect. It's great. They did up that a little bit this episode, which I was happy about.

I figured they start, they started. I was like, oh, Jackie will be. You can check that off the list. God. Thank God. My steamy teen scenes. But yeah, I just feel like a, yeah, a tickle fetish videotape ring is an escalation that I wasn't anticipating. It always goes way far past anything we can ever imagine.

But that's the problem. This is why I love Riverdale. It blows my mind. But then so in the same being, like this is a side plot line of everything else that's happening in this episode. episode. Let's talk about Betty and her quiz show antics, which were you ever, I was on this team called the Quiz Bowl in middle school and high school. Did you do any of these kind of things? My entire knowledge of high school quiz competitions comes from Saved by the Bell. So like, I'm sure that it happened. I'm not sure that it happens on a game show set. But no. I know that is it is a thing that high schoolers do. But do they do. do it on a fucking game show set for some reason? I don't think so.

I don't know why they were treating it as if they were on the prices right, but it had definitely had great color appeal on the set. And I was into that. I thought that was fun. But think of about the host, does that host just get paid to be the host of high school quiz bowl television? Was it being filmed? It appeared to be on a sound stage, but it was like a high school quiz competition.

There were cameras, but if you notice. there was no one running the cameras. So I think that maybe it was just... Or I also had a set like that for our morning announcements. So maybe it's like a high school like, oh, we're going to show it. Because whenever Betty wins the quiz bowl, she comes into the high school and everyone's cheering her on. No one gave a fuck. In fact, to the fact, to the point that I hid that I was on the quiz bowl, because I was like, I'm a nerd.

I am a nerd person because I'm like, I like, I like, I like. like to study trivia in my spare time. I just feel like when it comes to the Riverdale like inconsistencies like that, it's like there's a whole staff of people whose job is to like construct design and construct the set for the quiz bowl. And like, are, is there somebody who's going to be like, oh, do we want cameras there? All right. Is they're going to, but are, do we need like, are there actors going to be standing behind the

cameras? Because is it like a set of like a TV show being filmed? Like, and then at some point somebody's just like, fuck. it. We don't need to worry about that. Just get the cameras, you know? Just get the cameras in. People will figure it out. And yeah, I guess, you know what, let people who aren't even competing be on the set, like when Brett comes in to watch her performance, like, psych out Betty when she's in their semifinals, which they decided at the end of the last episode that they were going to start participating in the quiz show. So Betty is doing

this of course to take down Stonewall Prep's team because apparently the captain I just this is just I don't know why the college thing is pissing me off so much so essentially Jughead sets it up so that in the finals against Stonewall Prep that if Betty wins for Riverdale because she's the captain of the quiz show team then she gets automatically accepted into Yale.

It's like, I really feel like this is the type of plot I would have written when I was like 10 and I just watched Save by the Bell constantly. And I was like, oh, I'll write an episode. If you win this soccer game, then you get to be a millionaire. And, you know, like, it's like that type, it's that level of like plot. It's just the, it's, it's just, it's just, it's,

It's just your your, your, your, your admittance to Yale, uh, it lies on one person. Also, along the college admissions line, when Charles is like, oh, I have a friend who teaches criminal law at Yale. Oh, his mentor. His mentor, please. I'll find out why you weren't admitted. And then like, a day later, he's like, okay, so I found out why you weren't admitted. And also a teacher at a university.

Can does, has no fucking clue why someone wasn't admitted. Just because you work there doesn't meet anything. Yeah, everyone who works at Yale. You work for a school system. They're all on the, every professor at Yale, the entirety of the university, they're all on the admissions team as well. And they have immediate access to everybody's files. And they wrote down, won't admit her because she is the daughter of the black hood.

Which. Bad press. I really feel like, wouldn't that be good? for your school? That's what I thought of. So Betty wasn't allowed into Yale because she's the daughter of the Black Hood. The Black Hood is dead. So it's not like that he's going to haunt the campus. And also doesn't it make y'all look like you have open minds of like, yes, we are going to accept this person because just because your daddy is a serial killer doesn't mean baby is a serial killer because they don't know about her serial killer. In fact, it does mean she's a serial killer,

but they don't know that. They don't know that. Yeah, this is actually a very interesting question. I saw a 2020 episode about the daughter of the BTK killer, and she's like, yeah, it's totally weird being the daughter famously the adult child of the BTK killer. So surely being the child of a serial killer probably does come with some real, you know, kinks in terms of going about your normal life. But for sure. But I, yeah, I don't find that to be the most believable aspect of the college admissions process as portrayed by Riverdale. No, but of course, there's many parts of this plot line that we are not bringing up the fact that Alice Cooper, Betty Cooper's mom, got her the questions and the answers and left it in her dressing room that she had for the quiz show.

And then what is Betty too? But she doesn't need the answer. She wants to win fair and squares. So she rips them up and she throws them in the trash can of said dressing room. She's smarter than this. She's smarter than this. She knows that someone's going to go looking into that trash can. Why didn't she get rid of it?

I think this is a plot line. I think that this is where there's a reason. See, this is where I think you're giving too much, you're being too generous. Like, she rips it into like four pieces so that it can be like easily reconstructed. and they're like, look at this, we put the puzzle back together. Yeah, I think that, I mean, definitely I was like, uh-oh, when, uh, when Cheryl and Veronica were like, it's like she knows the answers before they even asked them. I was like, uh-oh.

Yes. But, I mean, maybe unless, and so you're, do you think it's a plotline that Betty knew Betty's playing in some sort of long game using her serial killer brain? I think it's her serial killer brain doing a long game because it is, because if Brett went into her room to do that. And I feel like she knew he was going to do that. And I think that this is part of the long con to get Brett. That, like, I don't know what she's going to do.

But she's going to get shifty at getting at him because now she's trying to take him down, even though I dare say that Jughead is being almost worse to her than Brett is being right now. because Jughead right after their species spicy, spicy sex, which they're on the top of a twin bunk. Have you heard sex in the top of a twin bunk? It's difficult. I know that they're very tiny, but I don't think that matters. I know as a fat person, I was like, oh, it's just because I'm fat, but I don't think so. And also, it seems to be maybe before school, but I thought that Stonewall Prep was like 30 minutes away from Riverdale. I just kept thinking, Betty, you're going to be late to school.

I mean, I guess sometimes you just got to get up really early. And sex means more. Also, while having sex, Jughead finally told her that he got accepted into Yale for absolutely no reason, which of course she is upset about this. And then on top of it, he went, Jughead, what is happening with this Baxter Brothers thing? I feel like they're really losing their way with it because Jughead had to go, what was it like the Baxter Council? I love it. The Baxter Brothers Council that they went into? That thing is how anything works.

Which I know they must be doing, I mean, obviously I know that the Riverdale writers like know that that's not how you pitch a book. But it's still like just slightly disrespectful to be like, yeah, you stand in a dark room in front of four shadowy figures and they just ask you your ideas and they say, no, no. And then you can finally come up with one. And then they're like, that's a million dollar idea. Do it. That's a million dollar idea. And especially as someone that I have not written a book myself, but I have many, friends that have written books. That's not only how it works, but you also don't just get a

million dollars because he wrote a book. So he goes, that's what they're called, they're called the Baxter Brotherhood. And he goes to the Baxter Brotherhood in said shady room, and then he decides to pitch using his real life. He pitches the idea that his girlfriend, Tracy Tru's father is the brownhood. And they're like, we love it. But also, don't forget that this only happens after he goes to Charles, his brother, question mark, and says, tell me about some serial killers. And Charles is like, sure, go through my files. I'll give you my top 10 serial killers.

And so that was just a little like reminder that Charles is there and that he inexplicably is an expert in serial killers. I just, what is going to happen with Charles? But this is also not even getting to. Oh, yeah. So then Jughead. So Brett calls out Jughead and was like, well, am I? any worse than your boyfriend

utilizing your family's pain in a Baxter Brothers novel, which you know what? He shouldn't have said it but fair that she should know, because that's not his fucking story to write. And didn't he get into this fucking problem with Titi and the beginning of the serpents?

You don't write somebody else's story. You should know this. That's true. He did write somebody he wrote Titi's grandfather's story and then they were like, excuse me, fuck off. And it was like one of the few moments of Riverdale politics where I was like, good job, Riverdale.

And then, yeah, I, I, okay, so my confession, my watching him be like, oh, I shouldn't do this, I was like, come on, it's all fair. You've all lived through this bad shit. You've all had a really intense few years. You all ran away from the serial killer in the woods together. You know, you all. That is true.

So like, it's, it is true. true that it's Betty's story because it's her father, but also, you know, it's the whole town story. They've all gone through it. I didn't think it was that big a deal. Like, somebody's got to write it, and he's a writer. But he should have asked her first. He definitely should have asked her first. And this is also when it comes to the fact that, like, she's already heartbroken because she didn't get into Yale because her daddy is the black hood. And she also went to, quote, change her blood by beating up his gravestone, which of that, I was like, girl, you're not getting anywhere with this. How is this going to change your blood?

But I feel like changing her blood is going to mean something down the line of her trying to distinguish herself from her daddy killer. You know what I mean? Yeah. And they're definitely, in terms of your theory that she is playing some sort of long game, Betty did seem, admittedly, Lily Reinhardt always just seems like completely unruffled by everything that is happening to Betty. but like Betty did seem particularly like not at all upset that Alice Cooper once again sabotaged her future. Yes. So that's, I mean, I don't know.

I don't know what's going on with Betty, but I think that she is going, trying to, she's going to utilize Charles to take down this whole ring because now we know after Charles looked into Brett's life that his daddy, his mean daddy paid for someone to take his PSATs for him. which is how he got into Yale, which again, I was like, oh, please, please don't bring the whole Lori Loughlin scandal into like, I don't know if I can handle this. Because if that's what's going to end up happening, is that are they going to try and put his father into jail for doing this, which, I'm sorry, can I roll my eyes any harder?

I don't want to fucking see it. Ripped from the headlines. You would in a steamyer way. It's topical. I don't want Topical in Riverdale. I want more pro. Like, I want another jingle jangle. But that's, I'm sorry, I don't mean to have a little tantrum right now.

So now Betty and Jughead are upset with each other, which as they should be. But I'm worried about Jughead because I feel like Jughead really quickly, as someone that has always been so non-conforming, he is so easily given in. to the quill and skull and to the stonewall prep. And maybe it's just because he's getting everything he always kind of wanted. But I feel like it's almost a little too easy until I just, again, with my eyes rolling, I love it. I love it. I'm battling.

I'm sorry, guys. I'm having, like, such an internal struggle right now. I can't tell if you like this episode or hated it. I think it's because I watched it alone. And I think that watching this show alone really does change. Like, because Jeff and I laugh heartily at this show the entire time. But by myself, when like with the tickle tape, I really was just like, what are you doing? Like, what does that mean?

Yeah, I agree. Watching the show, like, I used to watch the show like at night, like with Gideon. And now I just like don't have time. So I watch it like in the like cold, sober light of day. And by myself. like on my phone. And I'm like, there's not the kind of revelry with the like, like the kind of abandon of reality that comes with Riverdale.

And so instead I'm just watching it. I'm like, this doesn't make any sense. You know, whereas if you watch it at night, you're like, it doesn't matter that it doesn't make any sense. Maybe this is what we need to do. Maybe we need to take a step back. Everybody. I'm talking to you too.

That we need to remember our joy from Riverdale. And stop thinking about how it makes sense. and start just remembering and enjoying how ridiculous it is because that's where our love started from. And I think it's time for us to recoup ourselves. You know what? I think it's because I was very upset with myself with how much I yelled about Hedwig and the Angry Inge

on the episode this week. It's going to be hilarious to watch them try and do it. It's going to be very funny. Yeah. Yeah. That said, Riverdale is significantly worse than it used to be. Like, I think that is an objective truth, that we have to just say, and I'm sorry to put it in such explicit words, but it just is not as good as it used to be, you know? But then how do you feel, though, about Jughead challenging Brett to a formal duel per the Quillen skull rules about something like, if you make my girl cry,

We got a duel. And that I guess they are doing, they are setting this up. I'm assuming is how Jughead dies, right? Except for the fact that part of the flash forwards earlier in this season, which maybe we just need to forget about it, is that one of the four did it, right? Wasn't that like part of it? Like they are the ones covering up the body. They are the ones covering up what happened.

Yeah, right. They were all in the woods. And now every flashback is then like standing. over like Yale admissions documents and being like, oh, now what. So how is he going to die? Or maybe again, this is the changing of him writing his Baxter brother story. Who knows, I'm still holding onto that somewhere deep in the back of my brain. But can we just also mention the handholding scene of Archie and Betty in the flash forward

when they're talking about Jughead being dead? And so what they're saying is that possibly that they are going to have sex with each other? And you know what? Years ago I was into Barci. But now I'm not anymore. Yeah, I definitely saw there was a lot of stories of being like, oh my God, this episode implies that Betty and Archie are going to get together.

I kind of see that you could read that handholding as just old best friends comforting each other and holding hands over their dead mutual, you know. I guess that it is true. They're both going through a lot right then, especially the highs and lows. But it certainly was suggesting, of it. Yucky, yuck. I do not want to watch their lips

touch each other, even though, again, lack of seeing a whole lot of teens' lips lock. But at least we got a great Kevin makeout scene and we got an illusion to sex by Bughead. So I was into that. Yeah. But I want another great Veronica scene because you know what? Well, I guess I don't want to talk about her like that. I like watching, I think because she's beautiful. and I think I would watch her especially specifically have sex with Reggie

but I think that I just realize this now but I think that what Riverdale has been missing this episode particularly and also last episode not enough FP too much Frank I don't care about Frank Andrews I want FP to be

my fuck up daddy you know like we have a fuck up daddy his name's FP and then you turn him into a cop I don't want cop FP I want bad daddy FP but like good daddy the bad daddy. I miss Serp NFP. I do. I was into Sheriff Daddy and now I'm back because you're right. You're exactly, you know what? You're right. Maybe this is where my refa, my fuffa's a rough of. My fuffa's a ruff because I don't like his face. I don't like Uncle Daddy. We none of us trust him.

And yes, we're talking about Fred Andrews because which we didn't even know, I've been missing on Sheriff Keller. I've been missing on my Keller because I still think he is, I think he's on. part like same zies with fp sexily in my mind yeah i had never thought that he was hot until this episode yeah he's doing it he is definitely doing it for me and so he has been the foreman of andrews construction this whole time since the death of fred andrews so now frank andrews which you know what is the beard fake is that with the problem with his faces there's something with this beard that i don't like. Yeah, there's something, I just keep thinking, is this some guy that I'm supposed to know who he is, the way that the, the way that Edward, Edgar, Ever, never was the guy from One Tree Hill?

Like, I keep thinking, like, why do I know this guy? But I don't think I know him. I've looked him up twice. No, I don't know who he is. I keep thinking he looks like Steve Zon. And I know he's not Steve's on, but in my head he's Steve's on. I think he's slightly better looking than Steve's on, actually. Whoa. But I would say that Steve's on is more talented than he is. And not that I mean, this could be a writing thing. I'm not even sure.

But Frank Andrews is, get rid of him. Get rid of him. He's now the foreman of, and he's being a bad foreman, and he stole $200. And Sheriff Keller was like, he sold $200. And Frank's like, I didn't steal it. Oh, wait, I did borrow it. But I borrowed it so that I, could gamble to make more money so that everyone could get a Christmas bonus.

But like, so you gamble $200 and you made $10,000? I don't think he's that lucky. And like the thing with Frank, it's like, so he is Fred Andrews's brother. And we know that because everybody all grew up together. And so like Sheriff Keller is like, he's been bad since he was born. So like there's not going to be some big reveal. Like he's a fake brother, which is what I keep waiting for. Like he's definitely the real brother.

But they keep implying that he's hiding something, or he's going to keep us guessing. But now it's coming out. It seems like he's just going to be like a slightly disappointing uncle daddy who like fucks up a lot to try his best. Yeah, it's just like, you know, it's not like I wanted him to be a fake brother or to be sexier. But he's neither of those things.

He's neither of those things, except I will say, I got a little overheated watching him and Sheriff Keller throw bows at each other. because I was like, yeah, yeah, but in my brain, because I have a problem, it's like, kiss. You should kiss at the end of it. Maybe that's what it is, that you guys had a long, lost relationship that we didn't know about. Now you're going to start kissing. And I was saying this aloud to myself while watching it. I do wish we could watch together in person.

I think that would solve a lot of our problems. I really think that it would because, again, it's like watching it horny and alone is not good for me. It's not good. It's not good for my mental health. I'm worried about myself. On top of the fact, which we haven't even talked about, of course. So now Veronica and Cheryl are in Cahood. So this whole time, the tickling tape was just a small part of this episode.

Microscopically small. Yes. To the point that I feel like no one would even talk about it in a recap, but I can't not think about it. I'm sorry. It's taking over my brain. So Cheryl and Veronica are now in cahoots because, oh, we forgot to do our maple syrup with rum combination this morning. I know. I know.

I don't think I'm stocked in the house enough. I got to go get a thing of rum. Honestly, I just, I need the maple syrup. See, this is where, again, if we were doing this in the same room, these would really all come hand in hand. So now, as you guys remember, Veronica and Cheryl, which they went to Dr. Beaker. Dr. Beaker, who was their science teacher, to say, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. I know that we are underage when they're like, do you like rum? And they're being old sexy with Dr. Beaker.

And he's like, what did he say? He's like, yes. He said, never during school hours and never with students. Which, you know what? He might be the smartest parent or, like adult I've ever seen on this show. Him and Molly Ringeld. I love that scene because he was just like. I'll analyze your rum composition for you, but I don't fraternize with the children.

And I think that was very responsible at him. Which is good. It's for the best, Dr. Beaker. And didn't she call him like Dr. Ugly Man? Like whatever Cheryl said was very bad. I just remember that. Yeah. And she, so they don't worry, the science teacher looked at the makeups of both of the rums to make sure.

that they're not going against as if he knows about the copyright laws of like when it comes down to the makeup of something that people are selling. He said that there's different enough. So Hiram can't do anything about it. So they go and they have a sexy dance party at Le Bonnui where they're not selling the rum. They're giving it away as samples while they sell their mucktails. Which was admittedly a stupid fucking idea. That's so stupid. It's a bunch of underage people drinking.

It's illegal no matter what. What are you talking about? They can't stop us from giving free samples, even though we don't have a liquor license. They definitely can. And then when Hiram Lodge storms in, she's like, just because you're the mayor of this town doesn't mean you can revoke my business operation license. And it's like, actually, many times your father is over-exercising his power. But in this case, he very much has the power to do this.

You are a bunch of underage girls. selling fucking rum to other children. Even though they had quite the sexy sequin dance party, then they, of course, so Hiram breaks all the bottles of the rum. And so what did they decide to do? Which this is another one where I have to laugh because I was getting genuinely upset. They're like, okay, we can go back to the brothel that my mom used to run. Why don't we set, like, have a speakeasy there, which is actually a good idea.

But they're like, oh, we need someone to be here all the time. You know who we should unearth. Bad mommy that lives under the ground. So what do they do? They clip, clip, clip, clip, clop. They go under the ground. They go get bad mommy. And they say, bad mommy, you don't want to live under the ground.

Don't you want to live back in the brothel as if they're going to be able to control her, even though they think that they are because apparently they put a tracking device on her? They put a tracking device. They take her out of the teen sex bunker. And Cheryl's always delightful, artful turns of phrase. They take her out of the teen sex bunker. They put her into the brothel as a kind of prisoner slash warden of the brothel slash now it's not a brothel anymore.

It's a rum social club. But they're using the client lists of all the horny brothel people who they just assume are rich and will want rum, which again, smart. And because I guess it was like all the most powerful men of Riverdale that went to the brothel. and they put like a kind of Phantom of the Opera mask on Penelope. She looks exactly like Penelope Boston, but they're like, don't reveal your identity, mother. So she now has to run this underage rum speakeasy

while wearing a mask, while dressed exactly the same as she used to be, in the brothel that she used to run. So that's kind of fun for her. And now everything's great, which of course it's not going to be great. I just, I really, I know I've hated storylines in the past. And even though, you know, now Archie is not at the community center, he's not boxing, he was back to football. But now he also has to have his boots on the ground by running Andrew's construction while going to school. Even that's not bothering me as much as the rum.

and the way they drink rum straight. Constantly. They are drinking neat. Do you call it neat if it's rum? I don't even know. I don't know that much about rum. They're drinking room temperature rum at all times. All at every meeting.

They got a shot of rum. I used to be quite, quite the drinker. And I could never just sip on rum. Granted, I guess I wasn't drinking nice rum. But, like, I'm sure there's a level. of rum that you don't mind just sitting around drinking at room temperature, but I've never met one. Yeah, this actually, I hate to admit how much this ridiculous, obscene Riverdale, obscenely unrealistic Riverdale plotline has me thinking about, like, good rum, because I'm like,

what, what do you really, like, there's probably, it's probably like, you can probably, like, sit and taste delicious rum. I only, rum has never been an alcohol that I drink a lot of. I've only ever had, you know, mojitos and rums and coax, and that's it. And so it does have me being like, ooh, nice rum. I wonder what that's like. I mean, I guess maybe we should get into rum. Maybe it's 2020's year of the rum. And usually it's just a little too sugary and viscous for my taste. But I say that, but I also like Yeager. So I don't know. Maybe I'm just not giving rum a fair shot. And you like fireball. And I like fireball. So maybe, you know what? Maybe I'm Sugary and viscous.

Oh, no. Maybe I'm about to become a rum head, and it's all because of Riverdale. Decades from now when people are like, oh, how did you become somebody who exclusively drinks for rum? And you'll be like, well, let me tell you a story. They'll started when Hiram Lodge took away the patent for Veronica. There, you know what, exactly. Oh, this is kind of fun. So apparently the host of the quiz show is portrayed by Maddie Finocchio, who played the evil.

ice cream man in the chilling adventures of Sabrina, which I don't know, did I tell you that I started watching it? I'm giving it a fair shot. I'm doing it. Are you watching either Nancy Drew or Katie Keene? Because they those are also, I don't know if Nancy Drew is technically in the same universe, but they are all in the kind of uvra of Riverdale. I have not watched those yet because I'm still just trying to, because like honestly in my brain, I was like, I can only handle one of these, So I'm adding on Sabrina because I think I need to just give it a better shot. And also because they have crossovers this season apparently. It is the same universe as Riverdale.

Yeah, because Greendale is the community right next to Riverdale. And next episode, Katie Keen, Lucy Hale, is going to be on Riverdale. Ah. So they're starting their crossovers. That's more of like the fashion side of this uvra. And I don't know if I'm into that. But I guess this is a question for you guys. Have you guys been watching Katie Keene?

And I have not heard word one about this show. Is it something that we should check out and that you think will enhance our Riverdale lives? I mean, I miss Josie a lot. I miss Joe. How are they going to do Headwood without Josie? How are they going to do Headwood without Josie? I don't know. I don't know how they're going to do it.

And you know, who I miss also is the fucking pussycats. Like, remember that's stupid. super hot-ass woman whose name was... Oh, my God. The one that dated Archie for a while? Yeah. Like, I miss those talented-ass pussycats. Now we don't have enough singing talents in Riverdale. It is. You're right. Because Cheryl is good. Obviously, they're all fine, but none of them have the powerhouse that I'm looking for

if they're going to continue to do musicals. Right. Kevin is good, too. But he doesn't even have... I think what it is is that I think maybe they're still getting used to singing in a studio where it's like, I feel like they're not singing with the confidence that I require. Yeah. You know?

Yeah, I agree. But yeah, so I really think. It feels a little canned. Yes. And I really think that having Penelope Blossom run a Maple Club is not running the Maple Club is not going to become a problem. I think it's going to be fine. I don't think that giving her that kind of leeway is going to be an issue in the slightest. Especially because she's famous for poisoning people.

Interesting. And now she's just dispensing small amounts of liquid all about the town. Oh my God. Is she going to poison all of the rum and then like all and then the entire town is going to be poisoned? If they even remember that that is an aspect of Pellinality Blossom's character, then perhaps. But honestly, who knows? Thank you guys for joining us this week. You know what?

It's a wild ride. And I love having the opportunity to talk about it because I would probably fall off if we didn't do this every week. Yeah, agree. Because it's like, it's like if you watch Riverdale and then you don't scream about it into the void, did you even watch it? Did you even watch it? I think that this, I think it's an important part of it's why I was talking with my roommate about it. And she was like, that's why I fell off. She's like, you had gotten ahead of me.

And at that point, she's like, I can't watch it alone. I just can't bring myself to watch it alone. But it is fun when we have times like this. So that's what we have to remember. As long as you have someone to talk to Riverdale about, just, you know what? Hit us up. Yeah. Slap some theories at us.

You know that we love it. Yeah. No, it's true. It has to be a social experience. You can't do it alone. Also, shout out to the person, I don't want to dox you. Is that the phrase that hit me up on Twitter, which I loved this. They wrote, forgotten Riverdale stuff, Tangerine.

which, yes, when they were saying like the tangerine three times and then they would go into their fugue state. Oh yeah. The hidden camera in Jughead's room at school. Oh my God, yes. I totally forgot about that. I also completely forgot about which on top of that that also adds into the computer that Brett bought him. Right? So is he being controlled by them?

That's why I took the picture of this tweet. Is he being controlled by it? I don't know. And I think that that is a very fun way that this could go. Those are two really important pieces of information that I had completely forgotten about. Completely forgot about. And they also wrote, and I bet the new laptop Jug got has buyware on it. And yeah, and why is Archie back working?

He has so much other shit to do. Which, yes, that is, I mean, he shouldn't be working. But, yes, I completely forgot. And then so it's the camera that's inside Jughead's room. And also the camera that is watching all of the houses. at night, which they've brought that up two or three times, so that has to come back at some point. But I

still think all of it has to do with Charles and the one that's been looking into everybody in the town, I think it has to do with Charles. Definitely. All roads lead to Charles and also he's a serial killer expert, so there's going to be some sort of serial killer element. Oh my God. What about my brother? My brother is still, he's

love serial killers too. Oh my God. So that's something else that Betty Jughead and I have in common. We have a brother that loves serial killers. You're basically dating Jughead. Oh my God, I am. He's a good kisser.

I love you guys so much. Thank you so much for joining us on this week's episode, season four, episode 11, quiz show, and we never have to watch it because it's done. They did it all in one episode.

We never have to watch them do a quiz show ever again, which I'm fine with. I'm fine with that. I won't miss it. We love you guys. We're so excited about our move to Spotify. The show is going Spotify exclusive

on Valentine's Day, which is obviously February 14th, 2020. And you can get all our new releases of Riverdale Roundup and the whole backlog of Riverdale Roundup. If you're playing Catchup, they'll all be on Spotify exclusive. And if you haven't tried Spotify, it's free to download and use on any device. No credit card needed so you can get as much Riverdale content

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