Page 7 - Riverdale Roundup Vol. 6: Ram Tough

Episode Date: February 1, 2018

Jackie, Molly & Marcus discuss Jughead's spirit journey, cyber tricks and when exactly Riverdale became a wrestling town. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I got to admit, the mid-season return was not amazing. We weren't feeling super confident. We weren't feeling super confident about it. We talked about it and everything. And then after the show, we were like, you know what? That episode was okay. It wasn't terrible. But it was this episode, oh my God.

It's pristine. There is so much. There is so much. And it really runs the range of topics. Like, the amount of issues. that Riverdale is interested in covering. That's what I admire so much about them. They will just take it on.

It's okay. So the big, the overall big through line, the main plot line of this episode is Archie versus Hiram. True. Jesus Christ. That's, I would say that's A line. B plot line is Jughead versus Pickens Day. And that's the one that I can't stop thinking about.

But I agree that Archie and Hiram is important because we get Archie in a singlet a lot. I feel like it should be, is, like, are Archie and Hiram going to fuck each other? That is what the title of this episode should be called. Yeah. Yeah, and there's a lot of weird thing. Like, what town is a wrestling town? Like, what town has, like, their thing?

Because there are football towns and basketball town. Like, what town has their sport be wrestling? I know, like, Iowa, like, Iowa is, like, a pretty big wrestling state. And I think the University of Iowa has, like, a famous-ish, I think. wrestling program somewhere in Iowa had there is like wrestling was a fairly big deal in like northeast i think but like we just found out that riverdale was a wrestling town today you never mentioned before this that's the thing you know you're really a wrestling town we would have heard about it once before today and i also yeah i have to comment on hiram lodge's custom-made shirt because

he's called the ram because the coach brings him in because apparently Hiram Lodge is such a wrestling fan that he gives to the wrestling program and is also like such a part of the wrestling program that the coach

allows an adult to come into a high school sports program to wrestle high schoolers and Hiram Lodge shows up with a shirt that says ram tough that he obviously made himself to intimidate high school kids.

I just love the fact that they allow him to come in every year for the tryouts to sit and watch them wrestle as well, which is creepy all in its own right. And I don't think that felons should be disenfranchised or lose anything the way that they are in real life, but the fact that he is a felon and that his giving to the high school wrestling team was apparently unabated, during his time in prison, and now he is out with a conviction and he is allowed to not only hang out in a school but to physically beat up the children.

Well, you know, in front of, also, all of the parents are, for some reason, at wrestling tryouts. That's the thing. When Kevin's father's off to the side just as the sheriff, he's like, that's my boy. Get out of here, dude.

What are you doing in here? Yeah, the lines between adults and youth activities are blurred, such to the point that I think that a lawsuit is just imminent in Riverdale. And speaking to do it in front of so many people, like the whole line that was in the trailer for this episode that I was talking about was, I always win.

Hiram said that very audibly in front of like 20 high schoolers and like half the town and just everyone's like, what is he doing? And how many kids are trying out for the wrestling team? There was like 40 of them there. Every boy, I think. Well, it's a wrestling school, Marcus. But maybe we just didn't know about the wrestling before this

because Hiram was in jail, so maybe all wrestling had to stop while he was in jail. Also, like, Archie is so busy. Like, Archie, the whole first season, Archie was stressed out because he was like, you know, my dad wants me to work, and I'm trying to do my music, and I'm also doing football. And then here he is just being like, Yeah, I'm going to become a wrestler.

That's a time commitment, Archie. Well, I mean, he did that instead of going out for the basketball team. That's right. Instead of basketball. He made a sacrifice. So the reason why Archie's trying out for the wrestling team is because the FBI agent is... Still there. Still there.

The FBI agent. What he just calls him on the phone? I'm surprised he didn't just say secret FBI agent when his phone lit up. Like, what of the name that Archie... put, what was it, A. Aronson? Something like that, yeah. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, that Archie put the, he put the FBI's phone number in his phone under an obviously fake name.

Yeah. Yeah. Why do you got to, I mean, the dude has to just keep coming and finding Archie and talking to him in the shed. Honestly, they don't need phone records of this. Mm-mm. And Archie, and the reason why Archie is trying out for the wrestling team is because the FBI agent has told Archie, he, he, he's not.

he's got to get closer to Hiram, you got to gain his trust somehow. And it also works double for Archie because he's trying to be a big man for Veronica and gain Hiram's respect that way. I mean, why doesn't he just talk to Veronica? I feel like she's very easily paid off. Am I right?

Yeah, basically, but Veronica is also like, Veronica has been confusing me these last two episodes because she seems, she's obviously, like, loyal to Archie, but she's also definitely unquestioningly loyal to her very much criminal parents. And she knows her parents are criminals and she knows exactly the extent to which they're criminals, yet she continues to kind of have the moral high ground,

yet she continues to be an allegiance with them. And I think that either that's an intentional choice on the writer's part, and Veronica's about to have a hard time reconciling these two things, or it is an unintentional choice. I think it's intentional. Or she's about to start having sex with her own fault. because they also have very intense scenes with the quote,

boyfriends, they come and they go, but fathers. Fathers are forever. Yeah, I really. That's disgusting. If my father ever said that to me, I'd be like, get away from me. Don't ever talk to me ever again. Daddies are forever. Ew.

The whole, like, I'm going to rest. They were basically wrestling for Veronica. Like, that actually, that's, like, not. I mean, I feel like some dads actually think of shit that way, right? Some dads are all like, oh, funny shirt that has a shotgun on it that says, want to date my daughter. Like, that's actually a trope in our culture. And it always makes me so fucking uncomfortable.

Like, you're in competition with a teenage boy over your daughter's virginity. It actually happened that way. Because remember when he came into the room and he was like, you can play guitar with the pussy cats? Yes. And then right after that, like, he starts making out with her. was like, are you trying to, like, cook her father? Yes.

Like, yeah, yeah, right. And Veronica was fine with it. I don't kiss anyone in front of my father, especially not tongue someone in front of my father. Yeah, a long, extended, let's make dad jealous tongue kiss. I love it. But wait, we have to, we, there's a lot to talk about with Hirav and Archie, but we have to talk about drughead and the indigenous grandfather.

Before we get to that, I want to talk one more, I want to mention one more thing about Hiram and Archie and specifically something... Please, the Ram! Come on, qualify Israel. The Ram, excuse me,

between Archie and the Ram. There's one line that I think totally went under the radar is when Archie's talking to Veronica about, like, why didn't your dad like me? What's wrong with that? And the first thing Veronica says is like,

well, you know, you don't speak Spanish. I'm like, neither do you! The only Spanish I've heard you people say is when you casually get called meha. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. You don't speak Spanish in private.

You don't speak Spanish to each other in your own home. They just call you mehah every once in a while. I don't think Spanish speaking is a big thing in your household. Yeah. And I was kind of in, remember we talked about like, oh, I'm kind of into the fact that, like, Veronica and her family are like, you know, it's like a Latino family and it's not really a thing. It's just they are like they're, you know, they sometimes say meha. That's it.

But that was definitely like a, well, it's obviously extremely important to my father that I date a Spanish boy, which is like, okay, that's new. Not even Spanish boy, just speaking Spanish. It's like, oh, do you know what Miha means? Yeah. Okay, you're in. Yeah, right. You speak enough Spanish for us. So, yes, let us now get into Jughead's.

Let's get into Jughead's spirit journey. And, I mean, may I do. just say first of all that I actually feel like at first I was like where is this going and how it's it going to end but I got to say that I really want to give props to Riverdale

for the line when what's her name teeny Tina the hot really hot Tony Tony thank you when Tony when Jugghead after interviewing the indigenous grandpa who tells the story about how the snakes are actually the serpents are actually

descendants of a Native American tribe that was wiped out by the founder of the town. What? Yeah, that, apparently they're all descendants directly or just like emotionally descendant of indigenous people. And he tells the story in Jughead

has, of course, righteously indignant about it. And then he writes a story for the newspaper, the school newspaper, which again in Riverdale, everybody reads. Hey, the black and gold, man. You can't ignore the black and gold. The whole town reads the school newspaper. And then Tony,

a jughead really bungles it because he makes it about himself and not about the plight of the grandpa and the tribe. And Tony says, this wasn't your story to tell. That was a good one. And I thought that was a really great line about appropriation and whatnot.

And I was like, all right, Riverdale. And without banging your head, banging you over the head with it. They did it. Oh, that's good. Like it was subtle enough. And I like that too. Yeah, you took this story.

Is it Tony's story to tell? Because I'm sorry, there's no way that that girl is Native American. I believe that Native American of a grandfather? I believe she's probably half Native Americans. Yeah, she's probably got, you know, somebody, a parent or a grandparent who is on a different category. She's very obviously black. Right, yeah. I see, I thought she was like a black Latina girl.

Yeah, she might. And when I saw that that was her grandfather, I was like, come on. You're just trying to fit as much as you can into this show to make it as woke as you can possibly make it. I mean, which is fantastic. I love, yeah. My issue with that wasn't just the,

wasn't necessarily Tony, but just the fact that we've never heard anything from the serpents before about them being native. Like, like, with Tony, I'm like, sure, she could have a black dad or a Latino dad or whatever. But we've never heard from any serpents before. Are they all? They didn't like...

No, no, no, I think what it is, the grandfathers were native. Like, I think it started off as native, and then it just kind of went down from there, and I think that the tribe did indeed become the town street gang. And now Jughead's like, and they're discriminating against us,

but, like, Jughead, relax. You're fine, dude. Yeah. You could hop back into that scene whenever you want. Yeah. Everything's going to be just that. Yeah, Jughead's always been a bit of an interloper in terms of, like, identifying

with the oppressed group, right? He's like, oh, everyone's trying to go after the serpents. And meanwhile, he's been benefiting from going to Riverdale High for such, you know, much of his life. And then now he's like, also we're native people. Everyone's like, just chill out, Jughead. Oh, pick and say. Yeah, I didn't really want to bang Jughead in this episode, guys. You didn't?

I wasn't into him this episode. Sheen's wearing off a little bit. He's becoming too self-righteous. He's starting to get annoying. Yeah, I want him to be more the, like, the, like, sad wallflower writer. That's more of what I'm into. The over-dramatic. But this is like

too... It's like cool out, dude. Just calm down. And you know that's difficult for me to say. And we haven't even gotten to the third plotline, which is the jiggle-o, the video jiggle-o. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, he's a cyber trick. Who's teaching Betty his darkness.

Oh, God, so... Is she going to start... Is she going to become a web Cam girl? She's going to be a cam girl. Betty's going to become a cam girl. So here's the plot line. Here's the C plot line. And this one is that we found out the chick. Betty's long lost brother is a webcam boy,

a cyber trick, a video jingalow. We found out all this on this episode. And of course, Hal found out as well. And Hal, that's Betty's dad, is freaking out about it and went to Pickens Day. to confront them about it in public. And who should overhear all of this, but Cheryl's mother,

who is only doubling down on how much she loves fucking for money. Yes. I love this show so much. There continues to be a high quotient of sex work being done in Riverdale right now. Quite a bit, yes. And it's fantastic. And but, but in this episode, you know, At first I was there for Betty being like,

I've got a darkness in me and chicks like me too. I'm like, okay, siblings are sharing depression. Great. That totally happens. Depression and rage issues. Yes, let's bond. And Betty doesn't have an outlet for it. And then he's like, yeah, that's why I can.

And she's like, oh, you teach me. And not that there's whatever reasons people webcam, fine, but the idea that linking these two things, Like your darkness and your webcaming, I feel like it's not as woke as Riverdale's past me. No, I don't think webcaming is a creative outlet for you to express your darkness. No. Yeah, but have you guys tried it before?

And have you guys tried it in a brother-sister team before? I have to get Henry in here because we have to have a conversation about how we're going to deal with our feelings from now on. Yeah, Molly, do you and John want to get into that business? Maybe this is what we're missing out on. We've got two potential brother-s-sister webcam teams here. I mean, like, it's an economic outlet. I was interested in Chick being like,

I am a sex worker and I do it because I've been, I don't have any money because you kick me out of your fucking house. You didn't adopt me or whatever. I mean, you put me up for adoption. And so I don't have any economic means of making money. And so this is my economy. That's an interesting road to take. Super interesting.

But they took it to a much more fun place. Yeah. I'm so glad they took the left turn that they did. This is my art. Because that's where Riverdale's supposed to be. Riverdale's supposed to be like, I'm going to think about it a little bit, but not too hard. I'm so excited to watch what she does. So she did the serpent dance.

What kind of cam girl is she going to be? I'm pretty excited about it. Also, the fact that she sat and watched a bunch of her brother's cam videos, by the way. I know that they're estranged. But still, come on. Yeah, that's a good point. She definitely spent some time with it. Yeah, she really did.

And then, near the end of the episode, after Hal confronted Betty, Alice, and Chick about Chick's proclivities, how he makes his money, Cheryl's mom, whose name I can never, ever, ever remember. Can you guys remember this woman's name? I think it's just the Blossom Mom. Blossom Mom, yeah, Blossom Mom. Cheryl's mom approaches Hal at the end of the episode. What's her game going to be in all this?

What does she have to gain? Why is she approaching Howe? Hal doesn't have any money. She's been establishing the whole episode. Her whole thing is fucking for money. So what's going to happen? Is she going to ask Hal to set her up with chicks so she can learn how to be a webcam girl too?

Oh my God. What if she joins forces with both of them? And then it unites the families. And also her name is Penelope, by the. Penelope Blossom. Penelope. Well, we don't hear that very often, so you're not wrong to forget that. Yeah, all you hear is, mother!

No. I think you are completely right, totally right, about how Hal is not the dad of chick. Yeah. There's just no question. That's absolutely. It's definitely Skeet Ulrich. It has to be. Well, he looks like Skeet Ulrich.

He does. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's not as fucking hot as either drughead or FP, but, you know, that's maybe why they put him up for adoption. He just wasn't attractive enough. But I think that that's the only way All last week when I was watching, I was just like, Marcus and Jackie, you're right

Because there's no way that Hal could hate him that much. That's the explanation for why Hal hates him so much. He looks at him and he sees FP. Yeah. And it all coming together. And I think next episode, we're going to see Jughead coming in on Archie's FBI sting. Because we see at the end of the episode,

Jughead and Hiram are. budding heads because of course, you know, they come in at the very end, the statue, you know, the picking statue, the head is missing, there's blood painted all around it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But you also see Jughead going straight up against Hiram. I think there was a scene where they're both scowling at each other. Yeah. There absolutely was because, of course, there was, and also Veronica and the pussy cats,

come on, Veronica. And they were scowling at each other too because Hiram, in addition to all the plots we just described. One of the other plots was that Jughead, of course, in his, like, solidarity with the indigenous tribe, wanted to, like, sabotage Pickens Day, and Hiram owns the park that Pickens Day was, or the company has the contract for the park. I think he owned the gazebo. He was involved with the contracting for Pickens Day, and so now Jughead and

Hiram are directly in a feud over that. Because we didn't even talk about Veronica this time, completely. usurping the pussy cats. Yeah. I mean, that's going to be, that's a whole thing. I feel bad for Josie. Me too. She's just been shit on this entire season. Yeah, she really has been. She's really calling from grace. Also, that mayor is

out and about with that sheriff. She is not. I mean, it's pretty clear that they are fucking, and no one is talking about it. When they're having the meeting with, like, Hiram and Fred at Archie's house, he's just there.

Why is the sheriff there? No fucking reason. It's like, dude, if y'all are going to bang in secret, make it a little josh it a little bit more. But he's always right next to the goddamn mayor. And speaking to Josie, whatever the fuck happened to that subplot of her getting the pig heart and the weird drawings?

Great question. And remember Cheryl getting, because remember I was getting pretty excited about some possible Cheryl Josie action? Yep. That never happened. That thread has been abandoned. That thread got totally abandoned.

I think it's going to come back around. I think that now that Penelope Blossom is going to be out there web camming with Chick and Betty, that I feel like Cheryl's going to want to combat her somehow. And you know how you combat a controlling mother? Get into a lesbian relationship. I did it myself when I was 18 years old. I know how it works. I'm telling you, next episode or episode after that, Jughead's got.

I think at the end of the next episode, Jughead is going to be brought in to the FBI scheme. I guarantee you. Because he's going to, because Archie's going to need Jughead's investigative skills, despite him having the power of the FBI behind him. The only person that's going to be able to really uncover all this is a high school reporter.

Definitely. What are they all supposed to be? Like sophomores or juniors? I think they're all sophomores. Maybe this year they're junior. No, it's the same year as before. Now, we're just in springtime. Yeah.

Yeah. This is the same year. We're just in springtime of the school year. Yeah, we haven't had a summer. I also just want to say, for any other people who are Simpsons fans out there, taking the head from a statue in the middle of town is definitely a Springfield Simpsons plot. Yes, the Jabidiah is the Tal-Tel head or something like that. Bring me the head of Jebedee's Spaniel.

When that happened, I was like, this has been done. done before. It absolutely has been done before, yeah. But guys, who do you think took the head? Do you think it is, the serpents? No. Do you think it's the Uctenah tribe coming back? Some, or are they just setting them

up to make it seem like it's the serpents? Interesting. Three. False flag. Yeah. Yeah, this is definitely, this is a reggie move. This is a total reggie move. Yeah, or Chuck, slut-shaemer, slut-shamer-chuk. You remember, we didn't even talk about their weird

wrestling together, Chuck and Archie. That's right. You know, I think... That was kind of sexy. I mean, yeah, it was full of sexy wrestling. Yeah. Yeah, I'm so glad I didn't watch us. This episode came out when I was in Florida with my parents,

and I was going to make them watch it. And I'm glad I did it. Because I think my father would have had a heart attack. I'm fairly sure. The gay boy casually mentioning how the guy he just wrestled with has, what did he say, a 70s porn physique? Yeah. Oh, and then what was the line of it that he's like, it's like, I'm gonna get you on your ass, gingerbread man, or whatever. Chuck said that was extremely sexual towards Archie, and I think he slapped him on the ass, or maybe I just dreamed that and hoped for that. I was just like, I'd watch that video. I think there was some ass lapping. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, it's wrestling. Isn't that what they do?

I'd slap each other a lot. Yeah, close. It's sports. Guys slap each other all the time. Yeah, and they were very low-cut singlets, which I'm really wondering. My husband wrestled, but that was a long time ago, and I'm curious if anybody can tell me if the singlets are really that sexy. I think they are pretty low-cut, but the only thing I'm going off of is that I know, like, Kissel has, because he, like, won state when he was in high school and he has a picture of himself as a wrestler in his home. I think it was a pretty low-cut ones.

Pretty low-cut. Yeah. A deep V, if you will. I think so. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I'm so excited for this episode this week, guys. What is it going to bring us?

I think it's going to bring us a lot of gifts. I'm throwing that out there. You think it's going to be gift-heavy? I think it has to be. Because also, it's weird that that whole thing just came out with the karma's a bitch, with Veronica. Did you see all the memes that are coming out now? Yeah, that's a whole... It's like, that was episodes ago, and it's just hidden.

And it was just like, I mean, there are so many clips in every episode. that you could take and turn into a beautiful meme. If I knew how to make memes, I would. Every episode have like five memes come out about it. The actress who plays Cheryl Blossom definitely live tweets along with Riverdale with Gifts. So I do recommend finding her. You will find her if you go on the Riverdale hashtag. It's also really sad that I follow all of them on Instagram now and I watch their Instagram

stories because they are, they're still, I don't know if they're shooting the third season or whatever they're shooting right now, but it's all. them hanging out on set, and it makes me feel like they're my friends. The next episode is titled, The Wicked and the Divine. Ooh. Man, there's going to be so, I predict a lot of sex in this one. I'm throwing it out there. I just hope that they just continue one to two threads of what they have introduced.

Anything. Just some continuity. Something. Bring something back into the fold. I wonder where they're going to, I think. I think the tribe thing is probably going to go by the wayside. I think that was a one episode deal. I think so, too.

Yeah, I think so. I don't think Jughead's spirit guide is coming back for the next episode. I can't wait. It's going to be great. And I do think Chuck is going to play. I think Chuck's going to play a part in this whole thing. Yeah. I think Chuck's going to play a part in the north side, south side divide.

I think Chuck's going to be the one that toes the line and ends up going with the south side. But he has to come back into it. But I guess Betty is completely out of the north side, south side thing because she's all, she's dealing with her, you know, video trick brother. Yeah, she's in the darkness. Cyber trick, excuse me. Video jiggleo. Webcamp boy.

Also, they didn't mention it, but on the, what is it called, the thing that Hiram owns in the park, the gazebo. It says Sodale. So is it now just Sodale? That's what they're doing. Is it south side in Riverdale? But they never mentioned it. They have not mentioned it. They just casually said, they've kind of inserted it without actually saying it.

But yes, the Riverdale, the Southside Riverdale development is called Sodale. At least they're really, really tricksters over there. All right. Well, we'll be back next week with another Riverdale roundup. Let's hope this next one is as juicy as this one was because God damn. I cannot fucking wait. I'm looking to gush. Awesome!