Page 7 - Second Helpings - A Siwanator Was Born

Episode Date: May 2, 2025

Jackie wants to watch current TV, but she's trapped in the early 2000's Housewives reality and MJ really has no reason to exist now that 'The Baldwins' are done...at least until 'Secret Lives of Mormon Wives' comes back. While discussing how there's nothing to watch (except 'Andor'), they realize there's actually a couple reality shows dropping including 'Polyfamily' (a listener has written in with regards to how TLC might not give it the best edit) and a new 90 Day dating reality show! Speaking of TLC reality shows, there's now ANOTHER set of Australian identical twins that speak at the same time like healthy adults do. Jackie's ready to blast past aaaaalllll that celeb goss' to give praise to the hero we all need (except he shouldn't have done it in a school zone, come on dude). Raven-Symoné had Nick Cannon on her podcast where she basically just brags about being rich and Nick Cannon confirms he's got them danglers insured for TOO MUCH, which callin' all BALL LAWYERS for the logistics on insuring them testies. Haley Joel Osment got drunk and started screaming antisemitic slurs, bloated corpse Mickey Rourke releases gases to let 'Big Brother' know that they should have KNOWN what they were getting into when hiring him and is SUEING because they hurt HIS snowflake feelings, JoJo Siwa dumped her girlfriend at the after party for 'Celeb Big Brother UK', Vinny Guadagnino is gross but he said he made a ton of money being a Chippendales dancer, Martha Stewart did Martha when asked about Meghan Markle's new show, MJ hears the critics on making fun of Meghan Markle....but they're still gonna do it, Jackie has finally learned that money can't buy ya class, elegance is earned. Jackie watched the movie 'Street Trash', and MJ had a blast watching 'Black Bag' in the THEATRE, Jackie has some reflections on if it's aliens OR space that scares her more, the first episode of the current season of 'Black Mirror' is DEVASTATING, MJ started watching 'You' again, Jackie says the new season of 'Last of Us' is vvvv good, MJ just learned they share the same wedding anniversary (happy anniversary!) with Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Robert De Niro's daughter just transitioned and he's showing his support, the headlines are now full of celeb parents doing typical parenting things like Serena Williams teaching her kid about allowances and stuff, Beyoncé's rarely seen itty bitty son showed up at her Cowboy Carter tour, and SO MUCH MORE!!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Oh my God, MJ love the stank you added to that today. Thank you. It's the trumpet of the voice. Oh, is that way? Is it because I was inspiring you from my mouth free bird solo from last episode? I have been thinking about that. Yeah, and you've been dreaming about it and thinking about like what could be and what your future could be now that you know that I'm a genius with my mouth diphone. Yeah.

I've been thinking about that whole episode. I passed the, I had to go to the Atlantic Mall very early today. You love the Mall. I do love the Mall. I don't love the Atlantic Mall. It's disgusting. I do love the Mall. But I was at the Atlantic Mall at about 9 a.m.

And the Subway was was wafting it since. And I thought, should I get some 9 a.m. footlong Dorito Nachos from Subway? Whoa. You almost got snack for once. I thought about it, but I decided, you know, I, need to record later and I don't want to be on the toilet. Oh, come on.

We love pods from the toilet. I love to hear the plink, plink, and I love to hear the phew. And it sounds like you've got Ray guns up there, but I don't know what you do with your pussy and I ain't asking. Now, I have, I feel like this week has been all over the place. And again, it really, it's just, I don't know what is going on in reality, like current reality right now. I feel like I'm, I'm, I'm been in a little bit of like a, a, a, a, a, a biodome. And I'm just sitting there with Polly Shore. And, man, we're smoking mad weed.

But, baby, you try and get this Baldwin out of the biodome. Now I'm just thinking about biodome. It's, I've been watching so much Real Housewives of New York. M.J., I don't know what to do. I have to stop. I need to watch current television. No, I need to be watching current television. There is, okay.

Let's talk about this. talking TV segment for a second. There's no TV that I want to watch right now. Just this week. Like, the Secret Lives and Mormon's Wives is coming back in May, and I can't wait. And I think I just don't have a reason to exist until then. Because I started watching you. There's got to be something else.

There's got to be something else. But the bald ones is done. And what else did we do? I mean, and or is perfect. I will say that. Andor continues to be a perfect, flawless show. I'm sure. I'm sure.

But I'm talking reality. I want the goods. I've heard tale. What are we doing out here? We're lost at sea. Apparently there's some 90-day dating reality show that I definitely want to check out where they take the people that are failing on 90-day fiancé. I guess it depends on what you see as failing in the world of, you know, marrying someone from a different country and not even trying to understand their culture for just a moment. But apparently they're putting them all on an island of some sort.

sort and they're making them fuck there. And if that show is good, I'll watch the hell out of it. Yeah, I watch that. Because I am looking for something to, I want to anaconda a show. Give me something to swallow and I will swallow it whole. Yeah. I need it. Right, right.

And that's why I just keep seeing all the, all the Instagram ads for Secret Lives and Mormon wives. And I just, ooh, I'm going to, I'm going to become an absent parent when it comes out. You know, I just can't wait. I can't wait for you to become an absent parent. 90-day hunt for love, but that doesn't start until May 26th. Yeah. No, I don't want.

I just, we're in like an in-between. What else do we finish? We finish the Baldwin's, which I obviously don't miss. But then something. But like I kind of do. I miss hate watching it. I need, because I know that polyamory just started. Oh, yes.

And I know both of us were really excited about that. But then we'd received a message from someone that knew them that said, like, oh, it's a lot of bad, like might be really bad editing and might be really taking everything and not showing it properly, which of course it's TLC. I'm not watching it really to, you know, I know they're not going to be teaching me about Polly Amory, but I still am going to watch the show. No, yeah. I mean, I think that we can all agree that TLC does not make high quality programming, even though it will make a good show. I think that that person's point was that like a socially stigmatized group, like the polyamorous community, we can't trust TLC to portray that group fairly. And I think that's exactly right. Also, by the way, the show is called Polly Family. Excuse me. It's called Polly Family. Okay. Oh, wait, complete sidebar. But Jackie, speaking of TLC shows, you know how I love extreme. You know how I love Extreme Sisters, which is a TLC show that I referenced.

friends about my, I call my own children, extreme sisters to this day. But did you see that viral clip? This was from last week already, but it was a viral clip about like, it was from a local news channel in Australia. And it was like, it's a local news. Like the anchor pitches it to like the man in the, the, you know, the interview in the field. And it was like, I think there was like a carjacking, like a normal local news hit. And the news anchor is like, you know, witnesses at the scene, describe this and this and this. Let's hear from two witnesses at the scene. And it is two Australian identical twin sisters.

Speaking at the same time. Speaking at the same time. They're on extreme sisters. There is a pair of identical twin twins who speak everything at the same time, who are also Australian. And it's a different set of Australian identical twins who speak at the same time. Australia has two. No.

Two sets of twins who speak the same sentences at the same time. And everyone lost their mind over this clip. People are like, this is the best thing I've ever seen in my life. Damn, no rules just right. Yeah. That means double your pleasure, double your fun, but I guess it's quadruple. Quadruple. And Lord knows what else they've got out there in their pouches.

Yeah, their pouches of rue. I feel like that's where they're all coming from. They keep their twins in the pouches, and they're all covered. in the goo inside of their pouches. And together, maybe it's like sentient goo. And together they confuse their brains. And it's upside down. Do you think that Australian women are kangaroos, Jackie?

Are you comparing Australian women to kangaroos? I'm scared of them? Yes. Do you think that you and Henry could, like, do a news hit after seeing a carjacking? Do you think that you could do it, but in unison together? I think we actually could. We do kind of fall into twins. speak every once in a while.

Yeah, John and I can do twin speak too. And I think that, but you kind of have to be looking at each other. You have to be able to like follow. Yeah. I know, like, we know how to follow every minute nonverbal communication. Exactly, that exactly the other one could do that it's like, I know so much more about him than other people know.

Yeah. They'll never know as much as I know. I'm the encyclopedia of Jack Tanica over here only on my brother. Nothing else. Yeah. Yeah. And then, but then sometimes I still, I'll like finish John's sentences. And then sometimes I have to do some self-reflection.

I'm like, am I just being rude and interrupting? Or am I doing like, you know, sibling telepathy? Who knows? Whoa. I think about that. I think every time Henry and I are on mic together. So it's also like, is this interesting to anyone else or is this just how we speak? And I forget because Henry and I sometimes, especially if we're talking in front of other people,

we'll jump. We'll mind jump from topic to topic. together and then people can't follow what we're saying. And sometimes when people in the past would be like, why don't you do a show with your brother? And I don't know if we make sense. Yeah. And then you watch Goodput and people like,

yo, you're so crazy. It's like, no, this is just, we just talk, we speak nonsensically to each other all the time. And I forget that not everybody speaks jack and ease. Right, right. It's a brous, is a brous. Thank you. You're right.

I need to include him. in this Zabrowski-ish. In the same way that everyone always thought that our family was screaming at each other, but technically we're just loud. Yeah. Yeah. Well. I guess you didn't have that at all in the Midwest, though.

That's not how you would describe your family as being too big with their hands. No, I don't think even though, even at me and John's most performative, I don't think that we were ever even one-tenth as loudest of the Zabowski's. No, no. Imagine how loud the Zabrowski's would be on a weed Easter egg hunt. You really want to talk about this meeting story? Yep, that is what I talk. I want to talk about first, MJ.

I am going past all the celebrity stories that we have. There's a lot of celebrity stories that we have to talk about. We got to talk about Robert Teniro. We got to talk about Jojo Siwa. We got to talk about Raven. We got to talk about. I mean, we don't have to talk about Raven. No, but I mean, unless you really want to get into the whole idea that apparently

marriages do last longer if you have some. separate bedrooms, but I just don't think I'm going to do it. Yeah. Who's got the space? I'm happy for them, but yeah, right. I'm not, oh, I'm rich. I have enough bedrooms to sleep separately for my wife. Good for you, Raven.

I'm happy for you. But then also did you see today, or yesterday, Nick Cannon went on Raven's podcast and talking about how he insured his balls. Yeah. And I was like, first of all, we've already covered this. Second of all, this is like the singularity because we, I just learned that Raven had had a podcast this week. And now Nick Cannon's on it talking about us.

insured balls. 10 million dollars. 10 million dollars. It's a lot. I guess my question is, is it 5 mil per ball or is it 10 for the whole package? That's a, that is, that's six of one, half a dozen the other. I don't think there's a meaningful difference. I mean, I think I want to know that if one of the balls gets destroyed, does he get paid out for $5 million?

Is that how it works? Or is it like, no, you have to have them both destroyed because he's still having. have a working one. You know what I mean? I think it has to do with the spurt. So I think that if he were to have one ball removed but could still shoot loads, I think that that's still 10? Where are our ball lawyers out there? If you know a lot about testes, write into page 7 podcast at gmail.com and let us know what you think about insured testicles. But yeah, I want to talk about the man accused of placing Easter eggs filled with marijuana around a Texas town and posting scavenger hunt clues on social media because this man is a hero.

And I know. So fun. I know. It's a fun group activity. What's different between this at a flash mob, you know? Like, we're doing a fun group activity. I guess there's no weed at the end of the rainbow of a flash mob. And I know people are like, but the children, but the children.

But guys, it is fun. It's fun to have a social media scavenger hunt that you follow. And then you get weed at the end of it. I think it is, I think, I think I love everything about this, except the part that children are, like, they have, they have an instinct, like a cat hunts for a mouse. I know. They love the eggs. And he used regular, I don't know how you could make an egg that, like, was terrifying to a child, you know. Yeah.

Because I think that, and well also, and not to be pedantic here, but I don't think that a kid can really do much with a bag of raw weed. What do you, you know. No, they'll probably eat it. And it's not, you know, and then they're, and that doesn't matter. I would assume they're just going to think that it's candy and it's going to be yucky candy. They're going to put it in their mouth and they're spit it out. That's what I'm telling myself. It wasn't edibles.

That would be bad. That would be like an act of terrorism to do that. You are right. They should have made, probably should have made the eggs different or put them in something else so that it wasn't just. Big skull and crossbones on them or something. I don't know. Again, the problem is we're working with the population that's children. That's not smart enough to not.

to not I'm J, you're really given a buzz kill for this good time that everybody's just trying to have a fun Springsgiving.

I think it's a nice idea. It's a 420 Springs giving MJ you try to take our happiness away? If there was a town with no children then I would say have that. Send me there.

I'm like, where is that town? If everything could be like the Circa, why do you think we love going to Vegas so much, MJ? Yeah, yeah.

We stay at the Circa. You know why we stay at the circle. They don't allow anyone under the age of 21 inside of the circus. That's why we stay there. No, there's children in Las Vegas, Jackie.

I've seen pay it forward twice in the theater. And what happened to Haley Joel Osman? What happened to Haley Joel Osman in that movie? I don't think it was good. Is that what you want to base your life off of? What happened to him in that movie? And what happened to him last week when he was drunk and screaming racial slurs on a ski lift? My main problem with that whole thing, not only the fact that it is in his brain to act

like that. And I think that's really abhorrent. But again, do you think his face gets smaller the more racist he gets to how large his head is? Like, do you think that every time he's like the opposite Pinocchio? Every time he says a racist thing, then his facial facial features get smaller and anger. Yeah. Yeah, I can't explain what's going on with his face and his body. And yes, usually try not to make fun of people's faces and bodies here.

We can freely make fun of it. But once you use a racial slur. Once you use a racial slur, we can freely make fun of how small your facial features are. We are now bullying you. Yes, we can bully your appearance once you use a racial slur. I think that is our official stance here at page 7. Okay, great. I'm buying with this.

I'm into this. I'm sure some people have problems with it. Don't write us. Don't comment. Just go watch secondhand lions and remind yourself of how to not have a good time. Yeah, I'm dropping a little bit of secondhand lions in here. Yeah, it's an obscure alien jolost. movie and I don't give a shit.

MJ you're looking to be rapidly trying to remember if that was like an original asment reference and it I remember now. Yeah. Oh yeah. I only remember it because I remember how boring the cover looked. I was just like, oh, I look, I'm looking at it right now. And I was like, oh, great. Just a boy in a cornfield with two old men in a cornfield.

If you're going to call it secondhand lions, show me the lions. And I imagine they're the old men, but I don't want to fucking see them as old men. I want to see lions. Yeah, yeah. I'm not, I'm never going to watch that movie, even though I've seen Pay It Forward twice. But, but to those of you out here, and I know, I've seen people saying Haley Joel Asman seems to otherwise be a really good person. And he did lose his home in a fire. I know. I know. And he's staying with his sister. And that's going to be really rough. Sister's also famous. I think she was in spy kids. But, but, but unfortunately he did. He was in a blackout. Here's the thing though, MJ.

I also, where does the racial slur come from? Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. In what folds of your brain is that like it's somewhere I just I've been yeah I don't met no amount of substance I Has ever made me say a racial slur no so that's and and he did it and to his credit he gave a very good and specific apology He did he did it was a good celebrity apology but it is a head scratcher. It is if it hadn't been for the racial slur I would have just been like got drunk on a ski lift that's fun It's not fun. Get help. You know, do blow. Get drunk on a ski lift. Go get help. I'm sorry that your house burned down. You know, all love to you. And also, staying with your sister is rough. I'm saying as someone that had my whole life fall apart and I had to move in with my brother for a year. And I was blackout drunk almost every single day of that year. Guess what I never did. Never did. You know, like that's saying racial slur. Perhaps I should be saying anti-Semitic slur to be more specific. Yes, yes, yes. That's more accurate.

And that's just not something I've ever, I've just not ever done that. And you know that here at page seven, we got a lot of compassion for child stars. So I hope it gets the help he needs. I do. I know. Once you drop a slur that targets a certain religious or a racial group or whatever, you got to get a, get to work. Figure out why that happened. Go get some help in a way that, man, I'd love it if Mickey Rourke did it.

but you know he's not going to get any help. So let's just say, long story short, remember everything we were talking about on Big Brother? Of course. Now, Mickey Rourke, because he was encouraged to leave the show, now he is taking action and is suing Big Brother. This line is incredible from the lawyer. Basically, their argument is,

you knew he was awful and you cast him anyway. What did you expect? How could you fire him for being awful? And mind you, this is after what he said to Jojo Siwa, the really horrifically homophobic thing he said to JoJo Siwa. And not just homophobic, but like, he's violent, like, tapping into a history of specific, targeted threat, aggressive violence towards queer people that he did to Jojo. And mind you, yes, there's many other Jojo updates. We'll get to that later.

But that was not even the only thing that he did on Big Brother. he also said another extremely vulgar gross thing to another woman on the show. Don't fucking eyeball me. What are you going to do, you cunt? Your ass will be right there in a second. And then, yeah, and then it was something, there was something. Oh, yeah.

She said come. In this 2025, we say cunty in a different way. Yeah, I just need you know Mickey Rourke. Yes, you can reclaim cunt, but Mickey Rourke can't reclaim cunt. No. But yes, also the same Alleray-Wise reality star who he said that to, She also at one point said, come with me and he said, come in you. And like, this is, we are in the, this is not, it's just not okay, not funny.

Can't be like, oh, he's an old man. What does he know? Like, we're talking. Yeah, you can't aggressively, angrily call someone a cut and then have your lawyer be like, what is everybody complaining about? It's Mickey Roark. Yeah, he's just a guy. Like, and so, yeah, this statement in our discussion's big brother was made fully aware of

Mickey Works' background and life. style. This is a statement from his lawyer. Yet rather than handle it professionally, they took it too far, publicly embarrassing him and using his removal as a marketing tool. That's not just unprofessional. It's deeply disrespectful and damaging. Wait, you're saying that he got embarrassed after he threatened to tie up a queer woman and turn her straight? And after he said, made, I'll come in you joke to another woman and call her the C word, he's embarrassed? He's embarrassed. Yeah, I bet he's real embarrassed. And again, I'm sorry to make fun of someone's appearance, but when you look at young Mickey Rourke and current Mickey Rourke, it is a, like, that's why you got to get your drinking under control.

Oh, damn. You know what I mean? Oh, damn. He looks rough. And, well, you know what? Maybe everyone's going to be mad at me for talking about his appearance, because it's not relevant. But his, it is, it's just, what are you talking about MJ? Fuck him.

No. I'm just saying he's relevant. He's ugly. He heard it. And I'll say it. Ugly, motherfucker. Yucky, yuck. I want to look at them. I want to puke. There are certain people. I say this to my kids all the time.

I'm like, everyone is beautiful if they are a good person. And then there are certain people where if they are really awful or mean or dangerous, it's like you, like, that's the old. I was like, there's no such thing as ugly. Like, there's looks never matter. But like there are certain people where their evilness oozes out of them physically. Yes. Yes, and he is one of them.

He looks like Vigo from Ghostbusters too. And that is never, I'm never using that as a compliment, okay? Yeah, no. And I'm talking about when he gets all distorted and he's trying to, like, be shoved back into the painting. That's what he looks like. Yeah, I love that the lawyers are like, this is so embarrassing for him. Shut up. Also, can we make him a professional boxer again just so we can watch him just be publicly beaten?

Yeah. I just want, like, just hit him again. Get him back in the ring. Is that next make it the wrestler too, but this time he doesn't leave the ring? In every conflict, there's at least one bitch. A huge bitch, a silly bitch. A little baby bitch, a raggedy bitch. But sometimes it's unclear who the bitch is.

I'm Kara Klank. And I'm Jackie Zabrowski. And on our new Colin Advice podcast, we're going to help you figure out who's the bitch. We want to hear your problems, dilemmas, and quandaries. No topic is off limit. Does your coworker flirt with the boss to get ahead? Is your bestie having her destination wedding on a holiday weekend? Is your therapist being clingy?

Does your friend keep bringing her toddler to adult parties? Come on, there's definitely a bitch in your life, and we want to hear about it. You can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail, and even call in live to talk to us in person about the alleged bitch in your life. Just go to who's the bitch.com for all the ways you can contact us. New episodes drop every Wednesday starting in October on The Last Podcast Network,

so subscribe now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. And tune in to our live stream kickoff on September 30th on the Last Podcast Network Twitch channel where we'll be taking your calls live on air. Help us help you figure out who's the bitch. And again, it's like, if you want to have compassion for the guy, like if you have a substance use problem, if you have an alcohol problem, If you are having a rough one for decades now, like, I have compassion for you about that. But you have gone out of show.

Well, he was on the show for like two weeks. Yeah. Or however, I don't know how time works on Big Brother. It's 24 hours. So I don't, whatever. He was not on the show for the even close to the full run. And he managed to make violent, sexist insults to two different women in a very short period of time. And now, and they're also upset because Big Brother only paid him out 10% of the

contract, which, you know, you got to kick off the show, buddy. Like, what do you want? You didn't fulfill the contract. You should be thankful for the 10%. And like for, you know, it's like, yeah, reality is messy. But you know what I love about love is blind and who had to handle and all these shows that no matter how messy it gets, no one is doing violent sexual threats. And if they are, at least not on the show. They find that out in the background checks and they just brush that Under the road. You're right. That's true. That's everybody, you're right. Everybody of, from us, love is blind. This season had gaseous.

There were so many gages. But we're not doing the gations on camera. And if we do, you're asked to leave. Right. Like that one guy who was so scary that everybody agreed he had to leave. Which is insane. Like, you know how scary that person must have had to have been for them to actually get rid of them. Because you know it's all for the ratings. The what? Yeah. The ratings. And obviously, that's why Mickey Rourke was. asked to be on the show. I mean, again, we wouldn't be talking about Celebrity Big Brother if it wasn't for Mickey Rourke, or would we because of Jojo Siwa? Because of JoJo Siwa. You're just saying

at the beginning of the show how we need reality to watch. And meanwhile, neither you or I ended up watching Big Brother. You, yeah. There's something of, I have tried, okay, we've talked about it on the show before. I've asked, where do I start with Big Brother? I have tried to watch multiple episodes and I can't. And this is a thing. You know, You guys all know, I love the cringest of reality shows. Yeah. There's something about watching people 24 hours or the people that choose because I don't know if you guys remember, but I was specifically asked to audition for Big Brother.

And I thought about it for a second. And then I started talking to members of chat. And they're like, I don't think that you specifically would like it because of the 24 hoursness of it. And I couldn't handle that. Like there's no way my brain can handle 24 hours a day being watched. I don't think my anxiety can handle it. I don't think. And I think that anyone that sees that and goes, hell yeah, can't wait to do it.

I just, not that I should just fully judge that. And I'm talking about outside of like needing money, outside of all the, like, obviously it provides a lot of other, like recognition of like building a brand. And I understand that it provides other things. But I just think it weirds me out to watch specifically a celebrity big brother that I'm like, but you want to be watched 24 hours a day? Well, and I saw an interview with JoJo Siwa and that British man from Love Island, UK, who she's in a really weird relationship with now. What's his name, Chris Hughes? And so, yeah, they were talking about it.

And they were, it was like a British morning show interview. And I think she said that they film from, that they're like expected to be like working basically from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. And so I think the cameras are on 24 hours. And then then those are their technical like, you know, on hours. Oh, okay. That makes sense. But still 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. And she was saying this at the context of like, yeah, like we developed like a really intense relationship. You must.

Because there's no phones. You're just talking to each other. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, again, you could do, like, this is like how we know this. This is how group dynamics work. This is how, like, you know, that this is like the summer camp, you know, phenomenon. The showman's phenomenon.

Like, but time moves really differently. Yeah, I guess. Keep giving the excuses, MJ, because what did Kath do? Katz says, I flew across the world to support and be there and hold that person in whatever they would be experiencing, leaving such a wild experience. And instead, I was dumped. At the after party. I know.

Okay. All right. But this is a story. JoJo's Dima dumped their girlfriend at the after party of Celebrity Big Brother UK. This is a story with no heroes. And I have followed every single development to this. I don't know what's happening to me. I'm like a Jojo headline.

Whoa. Jojo is 12. Well, as we talked about, I really liked Jojo's like exploration of their queerness and their gender identity. Love that. on this very show, right? But Jojo is 21. Cath Ebs is 27. That's not a prohibitive age gap necessarily.

But there is a maturity gap there when we're talking about late 20s versus early 20s. And so I, of course, support Cath Ebs, who is an Australian influencer. I am sorry that they got dumped at the after party. And I don't think that if you are dating a. 21-year-old, who happens to be Jojo Siwa, that you could necessarily, like, count on mature, stand-up behavior on all levels. And Jojo is acting like a 21-year-old. A Si-Wanator was born.

Oh, my God. I can hear the egg cracking from here. And I hear the cheep, jeeps of a siwanator just, oh, ready to greet the day. How do you feel now that you think that Jojo Siwa can do no wrong? I don't. It's not that Jojo Siwa can do no wrong. But what Jojo said, to be fair to Jojo, was that they didn't plan to break up with Cat Thebs at the after party, that Kathebs just kind of showed up and was like, are we

okay? Which is a pretty loaded question to ask at the after party. To fly there for, yeah, it's a lot. And to be fair, Cat Thebs was asking, are we okay because of all of the constant cuddling and kissing and confiding that Jojo was doing with Chris Hughes, which, talk about a problematic age gap. Batman is in his early 30s. She's 21.

Too much. I will say, though, that imagine watching the person that in your brain, you're currently dating. Imagine them watching it live. Oh, awful. Cuddling was up. You, fuck, I would have done anything to be at that after party. I'd be on a play. I want to see them the second.

they walk off that set. Absolutely. And I would be nice. Yeah. But I'd be on a fucking plane, dude. Oh, yeah. No, I'm on a plane. And I'm upset. And the first question I'm asking is, are we okay?

Are we okay? And then the answer I am receiving is actually, no, I'm breaking up with you. No, we're not okay. No, I am going to, I guess, like, you don't know if they shed up or not. But, like, it's also understandable, too, in the world of, like, you know that Jojo Siwa is is in the process of still working on themselves. I mean, even the fact that some of these headlines from Celebrity Big Brother UK is, you know, her talking about exploring pronouns and things like that. And also her like their sexuality, right?

Right. Like on Big Brother, Jojo went from being like, I'm a lesbian to being like maybe I'm queer. Yeah. Like maybe I am more expansive than that, you know. And all 21-year-olds are working on themselves, right? But especially 21-year-olds who are child stars who grew up in public. who have only come out a few years ago and are in the, yeah, like you said, the process of exploring themselves.

Yeah. And it's, you know, you should still date those people if you are in the correct age bracket to do so. But expect someone that, especially that in the process, or even if they're not in the process. And I feel like we should have really an openness because all people are going to grow as and change as time goes on. And if we could have that grace for every relationship we have. and understand that people are going to change and things can be different. And it's a scary thing to open your brain space to sometimes.

It is. And it is the hardest thing about, like, I think relationships when you're young is that you have to, you will either grow together or not. Because everyone at that age is still doing so much growing. And in a way, this is what has given me like a real admiration for my friends. who met in high school or met in college and have been together and stayed together the whole time because that takes a tremendous amount of, if it's a healthy and good relationship, a tremendous amount of like communication and, you know, just like strength and a relationship

to be like, we are going to like, you know, I have, I think three different sets of friends who met in high school and are married and still married. And like, wow. I have lived like so many lives since then. And I'm sure that they have two, right? Like I think that they have too, but then they have figured out a way to like do that together and and come back, you know, stay together. And no matter what growth or changes happen, you know, come back to each other. And I actually think it's really beautiful now in a way that I think for a while in my 20s, I was like, I can't imagine still being with somebody when I was 15.

But but then, you know, my first relationship was just like, yeah, we were really young and then I, we grew at different paces. And like, you know, it just happens. And like sometimes when a relationship ends, something has gone wrong. Other times it's just because you've grown in different directions. And unfortunately, Kath Ebb's had to see Jojo grow in a different direction on camera for 24 hours a day. Yikes. And then get dumped at the after party. And they were very upset.

They made a front-facing Instagram confessional about how upset they were. And I'm sorry, Kath Ebs. And I wish you like a nice recovery period after this very public breakup. I imagine they're going to be just fine. I think so. I mean, they're going to be fun. I hope they find another hot, queer to be really happy with. Yeah, I wish you all the best, Kath Ebs.

And, you know, you're looking great. And I'm sure that a public breakup probably is only going to help you. And I hate to say that because that's a disgusting thing to say. But that's L.A. baby. Once I became an Angelino, yeah, I say drop them if they don't get you anywhere. Always drop the loose. change because I ain't got time for pennies. And I know Jojo's only 21 because we watched her sing her way across Disney World at her

21st birthday. But man, that's young. That's so young. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let her make mistakes. I'm a C-Wanator. Especially for someone that got famous that young.

You know, because we talk about that too. Brain not necessarily growing as fast as quickly as the numbers do sometimes. Right, right, right. But, man, some people are growing and changing. in different ways, but it's a way that we already were aware of. Vinnie Guadaginino earned over $1 million doing Chippendales. And yeah, we're talking about Vinny from Jersey Shore. We are talking about Vinny from Jersey Shore. And unfortunately, I have closed up shop for him because I do follow him on Instagram. It is. Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep. We don't even have to get

into it, but you can imagine who we voted for. But that aside, he does say that he has made a million dollars being a Chippendales dancer. But we've closed up shop for you, Vinnie. Here at age seven, it's gone. No more slip. This is the anti-slipping slide. This is the on the slide. The store is closed.

But if it weren't, I would be happy for him, having made all of this money. He did dancing with the stars. He's obviously doing Jersey Shore family vacation, which is a lot of fun. And he's a Chippendales guy. and he was the nicest one in the original cast in terms of the Met. Man, and he was, and he was always where my heart did lie. I mean, you know, I'd give Pauly. I'd give Polly D. I'd run for his money, too.

But he's on Fox News too. I know. They're all horrible, MJ. It's because they made a bunch of money. And then they're just like, well, how do I protect my money? I'm going to, we're not going to. We're not going to. But I am, I was excited for him. him the fact that at least just, I forget that Chippendales exists. Yeah.

And I also know that I have met many people that have gone to the Magic Mike show in Vegas that talk about what an amazing show it is. And how, like people that I would never expect to enjoy a Magic Mike-esque show. I've talked about how awesome it is. And I think even down to the point of I'm not sure how they do it, but they distinguish if you consent to be touched. Oh, that's nice. And like there's a way of distinguishing that, which I find, really, it is very nice. It's nice to have that because as someone that has been to male strip clubs before, man, you know, they're not always asking. Well, meanwhile, remember in Secret Lives

and Mormon Wives and Jen Affleck's stupid, horrible husband was like, you're cheating on me. You went to Chippin'ails. You're cheating on me. Somebody should call him and first of all, break up with him. Second of all, tell him that they don't even touch you if you don't want to be touched. Well, I don't know, Chip. Well, Chip and Nails doesn't touch you at all. Oh, okay. I think Chip and Nails is just, which means he's even further from no. So Chippendales, I believe, is just the show.

But Magic Mike, I think they come down into the audience. And it's like more of an interactive experience for people. Oh, I would do that. That sounds fun. Yeah, dude. Apparently it's a hoot and a holler. And I would love to experience that. But I feel like, you know, I know Jeff would have a good time, but I think that that would be more of an experience.

for me with other people. Yeah, I was going to say, I know you and Jeff go to Vegas a lot, and you usually see magic, but maybe you see magic Mike. Magic Mike. But maybe Jeff wouldn't love that. He wouldn't hate it, but maybe he wouldn't love it. I don't think he would hate it. I think that he would appreciate its majesty,

and maybe he wouldn't refer to it as majesty. And maybe he'll hear me saying this being like, why did you say that I was going to understand and enjoy its majesty? but sometimes things just come out of my mouth. And, man, I feel like that's never the way Martha Stewart looks at a situation because sometimes things just fall out of her mouth and sometimes she means it to be a bitch. Oh, everything she says is on purpose. She knows what she's saying at all times.

Martha Stewart was asked about Megan Markle's Netflix series and it got awkward. because Martha Stewart What a bitch All this shit Everything Like every So many out lines about Megan Markle Up and down

And just rip it up and her apart everywhere And then on a show She was asked on the cooking show Yes chef She was asked If she had started watching the Megan Markle show And she went I'm not seeing the show yet

Has it started? I What a And it's what I love about it Is that it's not an attack on Megan Directly But it is just such a bitchy thing to say. It's been, it's just so funny because it's not like, oh, the Baldwin's

as it started, which I understand. No one's talking about the Baldwin's besides us, but everyone's talking about the Megan Markle show. And Martha, girl, like, I know that you're surrounded by a team of people and so you're probably not looking at social media or things like that, but you must have heard that this show had come out. And she says, I haven't seen it yet. So I'll watch an episode and see how she does. I'm curious. Especially because so much of the coverage has specifically been about how Megan Markle is trying to achieve a Martha Stewart aesthetic. Like, like, I don't think that Martha Stewart is like reading her own Google alerts, but like you are Martha Stewart. A significant portion of the coverage about this very show has been about how it is not like your show or she is

trying to be like your show or it is not living up to the standards of your show. So I don't the light and her being such a shady bitch. And again, we here at page seven, we are listening and we're learning and we care about you guys. And we have understood that many of you guys were like, you know what, I don't have a lot of joy in making fun of Megan Markle. And at first, I'll be honest, I didn't understand that because I think it is kind of fun to make fun of her. But I really learned from British people. And British people are like, the way the British tabloids treat her is so horrifically monstrous. Right. That's disgusting. There's no pleasure in it. And I mean, that makes total sense.

Yes. Like, and we've never tried to do the things that they do, I don't think. Like, but I understand that it's just like she has been so mercilessly bullied by the British tabloids that it's just not fun to see the, you know, to see people to see to see her getting dumped on, which makes total sense. But again, as now that I'm reading blind items and now that I'm reading page six every day, it is astonishing how much press this woman gets. Like this, and it must be, I mean, I know not of all of it of it is her doing. like, but also she clearly has a very effective PR team. Oh, yeah. Oh, a lot of that is her.

I mean, even thinking about the fact that like the show was renewed days after the premiere of the show, it's like all of this is all, it's all. And like, I don't mean politics with a capital P. I mean celebrity politics. And I, it is all in the, like she wants to be being discussed. Right. And that is, and anybody that's like, no, she doesn't want to be discussed poorly, of course. And no one wants to be ripped apart for, you know, their race and things that like, right. Right.

That especially like publications should not be disgustingly making fun of her for. Right. It's just that like, it is from such, we're not, we don't need to talk about privilege. All right. When it comes to the Royals, we don't need to get into this because I know it's a different kind of privilege. No, we don't. go down that road. I just saw a random headline of just, I think I said the word disgusting

because it was just Heath Ledger's resurfaced response to people calling Brokeback Mountain disgusting as left fans both incredibly impressed and incredibly emotional. Just seeing things like that, I'm just ever, I'm, we got to let it go guys, you know, because this is an escape that we come here. You know,

we come here for an escape and that's why I've been watching so much Real Housewives of New York and don't worry, thank God. I finally have gotten to the portion where money can't buy a class. Countess Luann puts out a song called Money Can't Buy You Class. In parentheses, elegance is learned. I'm sorry, in parentheses, elegance is earned. And I am now living my life by it.

And I think that you should too, MJ. All right. What season are you in? Season three. Season three. Okay. Maybe I just try to join you where you are. You'd have to jump into season four.

I could guide you. Okay. I think I'd need to. Because I'll meet you at season four. I think I need to expand my real housewives. Like I, the money can't buy your class. It's all techno. Uh-huh.

Yeah. MJ, it's techno. No, I can't only be watching reality about Mormon women from Utah. Like I have to watch reality from 20 years ago, MJ. It's what everybody who needs. from us. No, they also need us to be watching movies like street trash, which I did watch over the week, and I had a great time with it. And yeah, it's a movie from 1987 and nobody wants to talk about the movie Street Trash, because technically it's a really truly disgusting

movie that I think upset a lot of people and is not something, you can't even say it holds up well because I don't even think it held up when it came out, but I had a blast watching it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I had a blast watching Black Bag. Oh, tell me about Black Bag. In the theater, Black Bag. Black Bag.

It's fun. I know that Steven Soderberg is a very talented director, and I think that I may have had just two cocktails, which was one too many, to really, like, if you asked me to talk about, to talk extensively about the plot, I can tell you what the movie's about. But if I had to make a map of all the various double crossings that happened in this movie, like I, it was, you know, do you ever watch a movie that's like really complicated in terms of like, actually this is happening and it's a heist and it's a trick and I'm, I'm a double agent. My brain shuts off.

It just shuts off. I can't. But it's like I'm just like I'm watching fireworks. I'm like, yes, look at the beautiful people do their acting. Like I enjoy every minute of it. But then afterwards, literally me and my friend and my brother saw it together. And afterwards, we went to the bar and we were like, John, tell us what happened. And then he like taught, he was like this.

Here are the various maps of the double crossing and the whatever. But it is very fun. It has Kate Blanchett. Yes. It has Michael Fastbender. It has Pierce Brosnan. I still can't get over the fact that we learned that Pierce Brosnan is Irish. He can't, he is incapable of speaking in anything except a British accent.

Probably not in his daily life, I would say. Yeah, probably. Although I don't know. I would assume. Eddie can do an American accent too. But a Scarsguard is there, Gustav Scars Guard. It's great. It's fun.

It's like 90 minutes. So if you are just looking to go to the movie theater and just have a great time, you will have a great, great, great time. It's just a dialogue-based thriller. I feel bad sometimes because, you know, I can't say as a whole that I don't like spy thrillers. I shouldn't. because that's just not true. But oftentimes, and maybe it's because I am a stoner, like you said, I'm not following it.

So I don't usually know what's going on when I do watch them. Yeah. So I just kind of let it wash over me. And I never, I feel like I'm always kind of in like a nebulous center region of just like, I kind of get what's happening. Yeah. Like I'd rather, if I'm going to do that, I'd rather be like, if you're going to be spies, make them like Fast and the Furious,

where literally what they're saying doesn't make any difference of what there's, all I know is, okay, that one's the bad one, and then all of them, they're family. And that's all you need to know. Yeah. And even though like the stakes keep getting higher,

like I have no, Shirley's their own, I think was in multiple Fast and the Furious movies. Couldn't tell you her name. Couldn't tell you what she did. All I knew was that she was bad and that they were against her. And that's all you need to know.

Yeah. Yeah, no, I love a thriller, but I'm also too dumb to follow them or too stone to follow them or whatever it might be. Yeah, I'm trying to say too stone to not too dumb because I'm trying to not speak disparagingly about myself and MJ don't talk about my friend MJ like that. Thank you. I know I am not, I know I'm a smart person, but despite the fact that I love thrillers, I watch them and I don't keep track of what's going on. No. And that's not genetic because my brother understood everything that happened. It was able to explain it.

I feel like this is also a place where I can explore this because I did a side stories, which is going to come out soon. I did side stories we're talking about movies with aliens in them. And then I realized that in the world of horror, I don't usually gravitate towards scary things with aliens in them. And I think it's because overall I'm more scared of the idea of space than I am about aliens. And then I started exploring that in my brain of like, why do you feel that way about it? Why do you never? Because I was like, oh, that'll be easy. I've seen a million alien movies.

And then going back through it, I was like, okay, what are the ones that, like, top of my head that I love the most? Alien. Rocky Horror Picture Show. No, I was thinking of, like, Rocky Horror Pictures. Oh, little shop of horrors. I was, like, thinking of, like, all the sillier things that are in my brain that I enjoy about alien movies.

But, of course, the alien franchise. I'm saying, like, outside of that. Got it. And, like, I'm more of a Mars attacks than I am. like true alien stuff and that is where Henry and I divide. You think it's more fun to be scared of space as a concept than to be scared of a specific alien.

Yeah, but also aliens are very scary and it is like the idea, but then you think about like the movie, I feel like they didn't give the proper accolades to the movie's sphere. I know it's a bad movie, but there's something about never see, like just thinking of it as like a just alien technology

for MJ, I don't remember, sphere is where they're all in, just, TLDR, they're all in a ship, and there's a big sphere made out of liquid, and it knows their worst fears and brings it out in them while they're all trapped on this ship. Yeah, well, this is like the X-Files. I feel like what is fun about the X-Files is the first, like, four seasons where you don't know exactly what the evil is, but you know it's the government and you know it's conspiracy. And then when you get into the actual alien stuff, it's kind of corny because I just don't think an alien is ever as scary as a government conspiracy. 100%. And also, you bringing that up just made me think I finally watched. Everybody told me to watch the first episode from the current season of Black Mirror, common people. And it is, it was so funny because, oh, our friend Adam, ah, that works on the show. we were just, you know, we just wanted to watch something little. It was just the end of the night and we're like, oh, we're hanging out.

We're having a double date. We're hanging out. And Adam's like, oh, yeah, I saw this episode. But if you want to watch it and it was like, yeah, all three of us hadn't seen it yet. It's devastating, Adam. It's devastating specifically about couples that are in love with each other, Adam. I'm sorry. You know I love to torture people with something.

It was so funny because as we're watching, we're like, Adam, you already want. watch this one? You knew. You, because it's so essentially, MJ, it's about, it's Rashida Jones and Chris O'Dowd. Is that his name? Yes. Chris O'Dowd, something happens to Rashida Jones. And she's essentially like in a coma of sorts. And this is in the future where you are given an opportunity to bring a portion of your brain back online. Like it's a, it's a, it's a service that you can pay for your, but then you have to. My husband has already told me that he wants me to do. He wants to be cryogenically frozen.

Okay. Okay. So I started to be kept alive at all costs. Okay, okay. You say this. You say this. Tell him to watch the first episode of Black Mirror season seven. Because what's going to come from that?

If your brain is online, right, and that's what's keeping you alive. What complications could there be? Could there be outages? Could there be limitations of where you can go in your service area? Could there be ads? Could there be what would all of the worst things of how a company could abuse this? Oh, yeah. Think of that.

You know, it's funny because I think the idea came from Charlie Brooker, the writer, I believe he said the idea came from listening to people do podcasts. Really? They would be talking about a completely different topic and then they would have to go into it. going to an ad. Yeah. That makes so much sense. Uh-oh. Because it, like, affects her everyday life, but then it's also like, oh, well, you can

get that stuff taken off if you pay a lot more money. Uh-huh. And it's just thinking about, like, the idea of, and also just in general of the poor and how, oh, now that, like, obesity has become a class issue rather than just, like, overall a health issue. You know, it's like things like that in what. is happening to all of us. And that's what Black Mirror is for.

I love Black Mirror and I feel like it had fallen off in the last couple of seasons. And I've been, I still were sucking them down. All right. That's cool. I really did like this first, this first episode was really good. Okay, that's where I'll start. Because I kept thinking, what do I want to watch? What do I want to watch?

And then I was like, I don't really do it. How do I even start Black Mirror? I know each episode is standalone, but I was, I felt a little daunted, but I'll watch it. That sounds fun. Because I did start you again, even though you and I, Jackie, had a explicit conversation about how you jumped the shark a long time ago. And we hear love jumping sharks.

We love a jump to. Listen, we watched all seven seasons of Riverdale. But then I saw Penn Badgley walk down that cute little hallway at the Jennifer Hudson show. And everybody sang to him. They sang the Dochi song, but it was about him. They said, somebody's watching me. It's Penn Badgley. And I thought this is so cute and fun.

And I thought Penn Badgley's cute and fun. And I'll watch you. And then I started it. And so it's fine. I don't, the thing is I don't remember what happened before. Okay. Yeah. And I don't know if I'm going to keep watching it.

But I did, I remember at one time enjoying you. So. Yes. I think I fell off the third season. I think that the first season was really good. And then I think the second season already started to get a little like. Like we've done that we're played out, but we're still going. Yeah.

And you know what's not played out though? What? The Last of Us, Season 2. Forgive me. Did you watch the first season? No, I didn't. But I remember waking up. This was when Twitter was still good because I remember waking up and just every tweet would

be about The Last of Us and how people were like, I'll never survive this show. It's so good. Yeah, it's very good. And we just caught up the, I had heard about, I had heard tale of, of what, of things that were going on in the second episode. And I have been in a frail headspace. Yeah. So it was like, I'm not in a place to watch it.

And then last night we watched the last two episodes of just like, it's so good. I know. But this is how our heads work. We can watch the pit. Yeah. And like for some reason I can watch the pit alone. And yes, I cry.

Yeah. I cry. And then Gideon comes home from night court at two in the morning. He's like, why are you covered in tears? I'm watching the pit alone. But like, yeah, There's certain, like, shows that are desperately sad that I'm completely fine with. And then others where I'm like, nope, can't do it.

Yeah. This one is, but it's very well written. Okay. It's very well written. And then it really, just thinking about the idea for me of going through such a global atrocity. Yeah. And then still trying to create society afterwards where like, think of how tough. hired they are. Like, I feel like that's what I get from watching this show of how do you continue

every day. And we only had a slice of that world during the quarantine. But I can't imagine. That is Jackie exactly my problem. I don't. And I, because I do want to watch The Last of Us, especially because I want to watch it with Gideon. And there's just, there's been a lot going on in my family right now. And Gideon and I are basically, haven't watched anything for weeks because we've just been, there's just too much going on. So I've kind of been like saving Last of Us to watch with Gideon. But then I'm also thinking about The Last of Us and remembering that I have had a very hard time with Apocalypse shows ever since the pandemic. And we watched Why the Last Man.

And like one of my really good friends worked on Why the Last Man. And I really liked it. But like I was really upset by it. And even before the pandemic, I had to stop watching The Handmaid's Tale. because there's a scene in season one that's about a protest and I was just like turn it off.

Giddy and I both were like turn it off it was like I threw the remote across the room. I was like it was so viscerally upsetting because it is not an abstraction to me to imagine that escalation of police violence and then after the pandemic apocalypses are no longer an abstraction to me and you're right it's a slice.

We didn't really live through an apocalypse but it felt like an apocalypse at the time. And so I am worried that I would not enjoy The Last of Us. On the one hand, on the other hand, Pedro Pascal. So, he's very good at it. Also, Bella Ramsey. Yeah. Also, they are very good in it.

Yeah. And it's so horrific how many times I see headlines ripping part Bella Ramsey because they don't look as hot as the cartoon child that's in the video game. And I know that like they're supposed to be like a teenager. It is just like, I see random headlines about it. I'm just like, can y'all get the fuck over this? What are you taught? You know it's a video game, right? You know that that person doesn't exist, right?

And you know that Bella Ramsey's like doing a really good job and y'all are fucking nuts. Good Lord. Yeah, no, that is, that's bad. But you know what's good, happy anniversary, MJ. You just said that there was a lot of stuff going on in your life right now. I was so excited yesterday that I can't believe it's been nine years of your marriage. And we have not realized that you and Gideon and Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson have the same wedding anniversary. We're basically best friends.

Did you choose that because of it? Did you know, did you say, well, Tom Hanks got married this day. We got to get married this day. I had no idea until approximately an hour and a half ago that me and Gideon have the same anniversary, April 30th. as Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. Only difference is 27 years. They were married in 1988. We were married in 2016.

Damn. And that's so nice for them. And yes, we do know now that the two children are not from the same marriage. The two of the Hanks children are from a lot of comments still coming in about how wrong we were about that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thank you guys for letting us know. We were wrong. We were wrong. They were wrong. But, no, they were. And then I feel. Also, to be fair. We never said 100% that that was true. We said I don't know.

We said we didn't know. Almost as if we could. Very easily could have Googled it, but we chose not to. And sometimes you just got a, you know, tarry forward into the darkness. And last night, Gina and I went out and had a nice dinner. And the person who was giving us the bill asked, like, what's the secret to your, you know, to nine years of marriage? And I've never been asked that before. and I had no answer.

Really? What did you say? Because she was saying in the context of like, I'm having a really hard time finding a partner. And then I made a joke about like how I feel like I'm Indiana Jones getting in under the gate right before it closes. And then I was like, uh-oh. That's not something you should say as someone who's still looking for a partner. You're trapped out there.

Yeah, you're trapped out there. You're all alone and you're never going to find anybody. I immediately regretted how I answered it. And I was like, you're going to find someone. You're going to have a great. life. Everything's great. I'm so happy for you. But like I was, you know, she was like, it's just so hard out here with the apps and everything. And I was like, yeah, tell me about it. I'm glad it's not me. You know, I fucked up the answer. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

If you haven't found your partner yet, you're going to find your partner. I've been agonizing about this. You're fucked. I have been agonizing about my answer for the last 12 hours. You're going to be alone forever. Did you know that? Like, imagine that's your first response. Wow. And I literally don't know how to answer. I'm like, I just got very lucky and I found someone who really understands me and makes me happy. And I don't know how to say that without sounding like an asshole because it's very hard. Yeah.

It sucks for most. It sucks out there. And I'm sorry it sucks. I don't know what. I wish happiness for all of you guys. Every day is a choice. Every day is a struggle. And it's too bad.

I can't even gift you with my automatic response because you don't have this in your life, MJ. when people ask me what is the secret to a happy marriage, I say separate bathrooms. Oh, I think you're going to say no kids. No, oh yeah, no,

well, I mean, it helps a little bit. I do love, have you seen the TikTok that like went viral that was just like a guy talking into the camera and was just like, to couples that don't have children, what do you fight about?

I'd love to know what you guys fight about. And then it's just like millions of, yeah, just millions of comments. about like, it's like, no, you're still two different people in a relationship. Like, you're still going to have, you know, we can't all be George Clooney and Amal's, you know, never fighting in your relationship. I know.

I'm, yes, I showed that headline to get in today. And he said, yes, I'm the Amal. I'm the high-powered lawyer and you're the handsome actor. And I was like, all right, I'll take it. Yeah. But, and even though we're not all 21-year-olds like Jocea, well, yes, you're learning and you're growing and you're changing and you're fighting. But I do think that it is a bit Raven-Simon of you to say separate bathrooms is the secret.

I know. It really, I'm being a bit of a Raven-Simone, but this, to be fair, is the first time in my life I've ever had more than one bathroom. So this is a really, this is like a huge thing. In fact, when we were moving years ago, I was like, I want us to each because I love my husband so desperately. But I tell you what, the fact that I never, ever step foot in his bathroom. helps a lot. That's how you say attracted to him. I know, I'm in the opposite situation

where I have a family of four with one bathroom. Oh yeah. And there's all that, I was telling my mom friends the other day, there's all this discourse now online of like, are you a naked mom or a not naked mom as if it's like an identity based?

And like, in other words, like, are you? But then I mentioned this and my friends were like, what are you talking about? And then my friend was like, oh yeah, I guess my mom did always put her, like if she was going out for the night, my friend said that her mom always put her makeup on

like fully naked in the bathroom. Wow. So just to get on the clothes. I mean, that makes sense. I always put on my makeup with basketball shorts and no shirt. So I was like, I get it. But then I was like, it's not like I want to be naked, a naked mom. But we all, there's one bathroom and four people. Yeah. So like, it just happens. And it's a three bedroom apartment, like, which is huge by New York City living standards.

Yeah. But we're, I don't think we could choose to not be naked in front of each. It would be, I would have to structure my day around my kids not seeing me naked. Make it a cornerstone. My problem is I am a nude person in my home most of the time. But like, like if I'm watching like Wendy and Carmi and there's dogs looking at me, I got clothes on all the time. I don't like being, I don't even like being naked from the dogs.

Yeah. I feel like they're looking more. And I know that I should let that go. But I know I'm not alone in feeling this way. Yeah, no, that makes sense. That makes sense. They're judging eyes. I think it's actually weirder in front of dogs than in front of your own children.

Like, I feel self-conscious being making in front of my cats. Yes, because it's like, well, the kids know your body, and I feel like they're not, even though they can allow to judge you in a different way. I was naked when they came into this world, you know. Yeah, dude. I was naked half the time I had to feed them. Oh, yeah. So it's like, it feels normal.

Like, they came from the inside of my body, how self-conscious. can I be in front of them. But whereas the cats, I'm like, Yeah, you made them. But if the cat sees me naked, I'm like, stop. Yeah. Get out of here. Stop licking your mouth towards me.

I don't like it. I don't feel sexually aggressed, but I don't appreciate it. Before we go, quick shout out. Quick shout out in the world of good news. We shouted out Pedro Pascal already with our show with Amber for being so supportive of his trans sister and of trans people in general by calling J.K. Rowling a heinous loser, which I really, really love. Let us all adopt that phrase. And big shout out to Robert De Niro, whose daughter just transitioned. And Robert De Niro said, I loved and supported Aaron as my son. And now I love and support Aaron as my

daughter. I don't know what the big deal is. I love all my children. And I just think the phrase, I don't know what the big deal is, is the phrase we need right now. Thank you. like I understand that I imagine some people will feel like undercut by the fact that of like, well, my gender identity and how I live my life is a huge deal. Sure. I don't think he meant it like that. Like I really don't. I think that he's just like, I think he's like, of course I still love my child. Yeah.

Why wouldn't I? This is the same child. Yeah. And why wouldn't I love them? But it's also the response that we need right now, especially from someone in their 70s. Yes. We need this response to show that like, yes, thank you. This is not just the young people being young liberals.

Like, no. Exactly. Yes, that's such a huge part of it. Topic. This is not about like it. You're so right, Jackie. It transcends politics. And he's such a masculine man too, you know.

I know. He's Vito Collione. And he's like, what's the big deal? It's fine. You know, like, yeah, yeah. You can be like a grouchy old. grandpa with a two-year-old and a 52-year-old, by the way. There is a 50-year-age gap between his oldest kid and his youngest kid.

That's insane. A 50-year age gap. But you know what? I can't judge him anymore because he's not judging his daughter. And we love that for him. No. And honestly, weirdly enough, in like the opposite way of every headline I see about Nick Cannon, which is always trying to throw him under the bus for not spending enough time with all of his children.

And Robert De Niro, weirdly enough, does try to be a presence in all of his seven kids' lives, even though they range from one or two to 52. And I don't know if, you know, obviously, we'll never know how much that is real or how much he was around, you know, when they were kids and stuff like that. I'm just saying I was surprised. Like, I was pleasantly surprised at his reaction. Yeah. And she, her quote about him is nice too. she said, no parents is perfect, but I'm grateful both my parents agreed to keep me out of the limelight.

They have told me they wanted me to have as much of a normal childhood as possible. And she said that he's always been big on me finding my own path. And like, that's a very nice, like, I'm very surprised to find myself this morning thinking that Robert De Niro was a good dad. If you had asked me, Robert De Niro, good dad, I don't know what I would have said. Right. But like now I feel like we have evidence that he's being a. pretty good dad, at least to her. Or at least he's not the worst. Yeah. At least like in the scheme of things right now, it's like, you know, I guess he's not the worst. So that's good. Yes. Yes.

But yeah, so that's, this is, we need more Pedro Pascals. We need more, it's common people, heinous losers. And we need more De Niro's saying it is not a big deal. I really, not a big deal. Really love it. Yes. And, you know, I just throw it in there. Serena Williams is teaching her kid about allowances and is properly explaining and like having their children work for their allowance and do different like chores to earn their allowance. And it's crazy that this makes headlines now. It's like raising her child like a normal child. Breaking news.

Yes. Breaking news. Child allowed to work for allowance. Yeah. What? Child did chores for allowance. but it is... What were your chores?

Why did you... We were just talking about this before the episode started. I always had to dust all the chotchkes and I hated dust. I had to dust all the chotchkes and then also I was in charge of setting the table for dinner

and Henry was in charge of cleaning up after dinner. Yeah, I think about this all the time because we were such little bitches about it. Like our chores, we were such... My kids are, you know, similarly whiny when I asked them to do things. And I look back and I'm like, oh my God, my chores were so fine.

And I was such a little bitch about it. We had to, we had to even for money, though. You, I see, I, we are always like, give us more chores. I'll do more chores. And that meant we got more money. We were down to do more chores. I don't remember exactly how pegged. I think the chores were to the money.

I think we got, I don't know if it was like a universal basic income regardless. But we did it. Like we, I think they got to, we got to a point where my parents were like, okay, you don't want to vacuum your room. Don't vacuum your room. But we all, we did the dishes after dinner. We had to vacuum the room. And I remember, like, dusting.

I remember, like, learning how to dust, which I actually felt kind of satisfying because it looks like you're painting. And it also, you directly, you're right. And you directly see your work. And you're like, ah, I just did that, which is kind of nice. Yeah. But I can't imagine, like, you know, that's the greatest part about having children is you don't have to do the chores you don't want to do anymore. And I know that is a simplified. beautiful rose-colored glasses way of thinking about parenthood,

or it is hearkening back to the pioneer woman days of just, yes, I need to have children so they can tend to the land while I make food on the inside. And isn't that kind of what I want? Yeah. Well, my cousins just inspired my kids to want to do chores for money because I, that is, we've been putting out other fires. I haven't really implemented a chore as an allowance system yet. But, and they've been young, you know, but they, we just saw.

cousins for Passover and the cousins were excitedly describing their money, their allowance and their chores. And my kids were like, can we do that? Can we do that? See? So I'm like, that's how you do it, baby. Yeah. And yeah, so Serena's kid. And then also that reminded me of how cute Beyonce's little kid was at the Cowboy Carter tour. She was so excited. Oh my God. So excited. So excited. Oh, God. I'm just watching all the Angelenos get to go to the Beyonce concert. I know. sitting, staring at the social medias, but that's fine, guys. We're fine.

You know, you can really, you can see a lot of the concert in the TikToks and everything's fine. And it looks real good. The Cowboy Hunter's too. It looks really, really good. Oh my God. And, man, you know what?

You're looking really good, MJ. Oh, thank you. I just want to say that. We'll throw that out there. Whoa, thank you. We're not going to be, you listeners are going to be getting shows next week. we should say, but the network is going to be on a break. So Jackie and I won't be looking at each other's

beautiful faces next week. But you guys will still get two shows on this feed at two brand new shows. There's going to be a rewind and there's going to be a watch-long and we're going to have a fricking blast. But that's your little warning that next week is network break, but you will still get your new shit. But whatever, you know, whatever nightmare comes out of, make your work's mouth, we won't be able to talk about it for two more weeks. No, but definitely, you're not. You You know, you're still going to be getting Jackie's book club and your Buffy over on the Patreon. Patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. MJ and I will not be recording celebrities next week, but we'll be back with the end of Down the Drain by Julia

Fox the following week. And I'm very excited about that because I'm going to tell you what, man, talk about ripping through. Yes. I am almost done with that book because I just so good. Slip, Slip, Slip, Slip, Slurp it up. It's so good. Got to slurp it up. And we have to prepare ourselves.

because soon we will be haunted by Manuel, not included, which drops on May 6th. Oh, my God. Very sad. Don't worry. We will read it. You don't have to get the Hilaria Baldwin book. Oh, my God. I follow her on Instagram, and it's ruining my life.

Her videos keep appearing in my feed because I follow her, and that makes me want to kill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so we are, Julia Fox's book is freaking fantastic. And, yeah, so patrons, you'll still be getting Jackie's Book Club next week and your buff. And then, yeah, we'll be back, roaring back in May. Ew, yeah. Ready to tackle the world. Talk about maybe that's where the lions are from secondhand lions.

There's got to be a couple of lions. It can't just be the old men, right? It's got to be actual lions. Is Robert Deval? Robert Duvall, Michael Kine. Michael Kine. It's Michael Kahl and Robert DeVal. I guess they're the lions.

It's an all-star cast. I know. Couldn't have been a good movie. Apparently, I guess it is like a pretty good movie, but I just made so many jokes about it at the blockbuster that I don't know if I could ever actually watch it. Sound off in the comments, guys. Should we watch, we do a secondhand line, watch along?

No, we're not doing that. No, we're not doing that. We're not doing it. And everybody, you have a blessed week. Yeah, I fucking said it. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram and Jack That Worm. And come hang out.

man, if you're in Florida, come see us. I don't know where we're going to be. Fort Lauderdale. No, Deerfield Beach, I don't know. Me and Henry and Eddie are doing some shows, and Adam's going to be there too. So Florida, come on, come hang out with us. Come find us if you can. I guess we'll be the cryptids in Florida next week, dog.

MJ? Go have fun with us on Patreon. On patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. We love hearing from you there. We love hearing from you on the email platform, which is page 7 podcast at gmail.com. And I'm MJ. I'm MJ KL Kat on Instagram, MJ Neffel on Blue Sky, but I'm not on Blue Sky. So I don't know why I keep saying that.

I am, but I'm not looking. But in any case. You haunt Blue Sky. I haunt Blue Sky. But I'll get there eventually. And have a great rest of your week. Jackie, I love you. Should we sing the song?

Yeah, let's sing the song. I'll be better Second time around Did I almost forget it again? Yeah This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them.

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