Page 7 - Second Helpings - A Woke Horse They're Gonna Ride On

Episode Date: August 1, 2025

Our baddest B.I.T.C.H (Baby In Total Control of Herself) Jackie and her Special Little Boy MJ are back with Second Helpings, including remembering Hulk Hogan should Rest In Piss, and the unearthed Daddy's Deli audio is servin' up memories @ 7:36.591 ! The 15 year anniversary of Snooki's iconic "WHERE'S THE BEACH!?" moment is upon us, and it's been 10 years since MJ proposed to Gideon on stage and they caused a nerd to grit his teeth when asked 'WHO'S THE BADDIES?' when it came to symbols on "Star Wars" rings. MJ and Jackie reveal that the Goop's new book is a big ole sloppy mess, Jackie started into the HAWT world of "Hunting Wives" to fill her craving for WOMEN and MJ and Jackie both make a pledge to fix their faces via Skim's new sculpting face mask. The fallout from the new Sydney Sweeney/American Eagle Jeans ad campaign continues as either haven't made a comment about the possibly racist messaging and also the CGI baby from Fantastic Four looks like straight ass. The great internet battle of if Pedro Pascal is too touchy rages on, and it seems like no one has bothered to ask who is being touched, because they all seem fine with it! Jackie and MJ decide the 4 year old who reenacted the Lady Gaga "Abracadabra" video and Jojo Siwa naming her bfs nuts is TOO MUCH, then Jackie puts out a plea for 'chup sanity after Obama seems to call for a culling for all users, but Holden coats all foods in at least 6 inches of it. Fans call for Chipotle to add Ozzy's order as a menu item, Cheers has us all wanting to go where everybody knows our names, and SO MUCH MORE!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The second time around, you damn right it. Well, maybe it's because, you know, my brain isn't quite in the same exact throws of grief that it was yesterday. All it takes is 24 hours. And then you're fixed. Healed. And you're healed. Yeah. Thank you, everybody.

Yes, I've had a leap of faith over the weekend. Yes, I went to a Steve Martin. Evel-Evel-Lask. Doesn't make any sense. Maybe my brain hasn't come back. You need 24 more hours. I need 24. And then I'm going to be ready.

And then you'll be healed. Okay. But for now, this is the Jackie you are receiving. Hopefully, will you please receive me? Do you consent MJ to receiving this version of me? I receive you. I'm trying to practice something called radical acceptance that I don't totally understand. But what I think it means is, you know, you just say this is the Jackie that I have.

This is the Jackie that's here. And I am ready to receive this Jackie. And I'm grateful for this Jackie and I love this Jackie. Thank you so much. Thank you very much because I am, you know, I'm really working on being more compliant. That has been my word of the month. Compliant is not the word that you should be using. Why?

2025 women are not supposed to make themselves compliant. I think I need, you know what it is. So I kept saying over the weekend for those that I think you're picking up what I'm putting down, had my father's funeral over the weekend. And I will say that I kept saying. saying that I'm compliant, that I'm peace. I'm Switzerland. I'm not going to make any, I'm not coming in. I'm not making any fights. I'm not saying anything I'm not supposed to. But I will say that Marcus did refer to it as malicious compliance. You did say that there was a phrase called

malicious compliance. Oh, yeah. That he feared that maybe I had been veering into more of that territory. I love the phrase malicious compliance. It is definitely weaponized by children regularly. And I would say I would use it to describe you as well. Kind of aggressive, aggressive compliance. I was so good. I didn't get in any fights, MJ. Snaps, snaps, fingers. Thank you. Thank you. Snap at me.

Thank you. Thank you for snapping at me. I forget which finger I snap with, so I'm doing all of them. All of them. Yeah. Yeah. It's a jazz hand. Honestly, please give me jazz hands. This, this bitch over here needs jazz hands because I will also say I have been, you know, soft launching, I guess this is the hard launch that, you know, we've been saying that witch is a woman in total control of herself, but over the funeral weekend, I kept referring myself as a bitch, but that is a baby in total control of herself because I'm a baby, and I want to be baby. The baby can't take care of herself, but also, if you try to help

the baby, you fucking, you better help yourself because that baby don't want your help. And it is, again, I think it goes hand in hand with. malicious compliance that I think being a baby in total control of herself means overall was my family kind of scared of me over the weekend. Yes. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, Holden would often refer to his, you know, just kind of like simmering fear of you. And I think that that's something I actually, I feel like despite being someone who's close to you, I don't live in fear of you. And I think that that, I'm not sure if that makes me special or if it makes you special with me. But I'm not scared.

I am special with you. MJ, I'm always special with you. That's why you're my special little boy and I put you in my pocket. And I keep you around. That's why we've been doing this for 15 years, you know? Yeah, we can enthusiastically comply with each other, you know? Yes, yes. And also, you know what I will say?

Maybe this is therapy talk. I will say a lot of the people in my life are nervous about versions of myself in the past and what I used to choose to do and how I used to act out when I felt that my feelings were too much and that I was told that my feelings were too much and then I would act out and then I would lash, lash, lash. You're talking about past versions of yourself. Is this your way of teeing up that we found the audio for Daddy's Deli? I was going to tee up the audio for Daddy's Deli. Honestly, MJ, I didn't know if I was going into the 15th anniversary of Snookies Where's the Beach

or if we were going into Daddy's Deli, but I tell you what, you chose. To reflect on the past, on growth. You know, we are going to talk about Snooki's 15th anniversary of where is the beach.

Thank you, Snooky, for giving me something to compulsively repeat every time I'm near a beach. Thank you. My children know, where's the beach. Yes.

I can't. I go to the beach frequently and I can't not say it when I'm there. So we are going to talk about Snooki, but also thanks to the many intrepid listeners who brought audio of Daddy's Deli.

Now, I just want to add a little addendum to last Friday's show, which was that I was trying to be respectful of people who had positive feelings about Hulk Hogan because of their relationship with wrestling. And I, upon reflection, don't owe that man any respect. And so I just want to say, fuck that guy, rest and piss. And I'm sorry I didn't say it last week. Hell yeah.

Better late than never. Wow, how. Wow, yes. Because I was an unrepentant racist. He doesn't deserve our respect. Yeah. He's shit. I definitely, you know, I don't wish death appalledns to anybody, but I will say, well.

Yeah, we don't call for people's deaths, but we can celebrate when they do. Somebody's got to go. Yes. And Daddy's Deli did come through something to do with Hulk Hogan owning a restaurant. And that's why. In the Mall of America. In the Mall of America. Uncharacteristically stupid choice of the Mall of America.

But I also have a problem where I defend the Mall of America just because it's in Minneapolis, which is a wonderful city. And also because we have. had a blast at the Mall of America, MJ. Can you remember how hungover we were at the Mall of America? I know, I know. But also I would be, I would talk about who I, versions of myself, I would be, you know, dancing on my own past selves grave if I didn't point out that it is still a mall and the biggest mall in America.

And as such, you know, as a symbol of capitalism that I did not love for the many years and many years that I lived there. But the roller coasters. Do you remember? They do have roller. That's the thing. They're roller coasters. and it's in Minneapolis, and they shouldn't have let Hulk Hogan's restaurant in.

Despite being a beacon of capitalism, they should have still had enough values to be like, no pasta mania, we're good because Daddy's Deli is here. Yes. And who needs another place to eat? Who needs another place to eat? Especially when they've got this great slogan. This is so, this came up on a page seven, which was probably about 15 years ago. God had been in our first or second year of, you know, doing the show.

Also, I know we've brought this up before, but I think everyone does really need to know. We did this show almost blackout drunk for, I think, five or, like the first five or six years. So when people bring up their favorite. And I will also say when you listen to this clip, remember that I never drank water. And I smoked two packs of cigarettes a day. Even in this tiny clip, you can tell. You know, you can really hear the difference. But I'd love to listen to this drunk little diddy that we made up.

Yes. If you are my mitts, you come called Daddy's gonna come in your face. It's Daddy's Daily. You come on over. Bring your hoagies, bring your girls. Cause you're gonna get me to Daddy's Deli. If you are, yeah, play it again. Play it again.

It's so short. You needed a couple. of times. Now, you know, you hear my shrieks. You do hear my shrieks and I do get to that level, but even just listen to the clarity of my voice and the difference. If you ever go back and listen to a roundtable, oh, God help you. I mean, definitely. I know I bring it up and Carrie Fisher's wishful drinking when we were talking about it, but, you know, when you want to hear a group of people that are actively not taking care of themselves, you can listen to many hours of it. But I remember this moment when you, I think that this might be the moment that I like, I know it was early on, I don't know, it was some, people found the episode number, but I just, I always enjoyed doing page seven. But I feel like this was the moment. Like, I remember we were, we, we, what studio we were in, I was doubled over in laughter. You can hear me and Marcus, like, gasping for air in the clip.

I, Marcus and I were both just, like, dying laugh. My face was covered in tears of laughter. And I feel like, you know, that was the moment where I was like, I could never stop doing this show. Like, got to do it forever. We got to scream into these microphones until the day that we die, MJ, and I love it. I'll talk to you forever, baby. Speaking of past selves, I just, the day that we were recording is 10 years since I proposed to Gideon on stage at a show in Lower Manhattan. But that day we had recorded a page 7, or maybe it was the day before, I can't remember which. and I was talking to you

and I was telling you that I was going to propose to him and you were the one that was like, do you have a ring? And I was like, no, the whole thing is like, I'm switching it up.

I don't need a ring. And you were like, you should get something. It doesn't have to be like an expensive ring, but get a ring. And then I went to Forbidden Planet below Union Square,

got a Star Wars ring and gave it to him. So I feel like you are an integral part and page seven because this happened. I remember drunkenly going with you. Remember how drunk we were because I remember specifically asking,

oh man, the look of detest that the person gave us because I was like, which ones are the good ones and which ones are the bad ones when we were talking about the Star Wars rings. Yes, because there was a symbol for the empire on one ring and a symbol for the rebel alliance

on another ring. And I had to text my brother and be like, which would Gideon like? And my brother was like, obviously the rebel alliance. He's not the empire. Which now I'm like, wow, I can't believe I didn't know that.

But I didn't. Can you imagine if you had gotten him an empire ring and him being like, what do you think I am? Are you asking me to join you in a lifetime of darkness and fascism? Jesus Christ. Oh my God. I guess the answer is yes, but also I'm scared of you?

No, it was, and that and he still has the ring and still wears it. So that was all you. I love that. But I will say, MJ, I am upset with you because I did try to get you to take at least four tequila shots with me before we started recording this morning, like old times. And you said

no. And I, you know, It's like I don't even know who you are anymore. It is weird though because I did randomly see the number episode that we're on. I think that this is like number MJ. I believe that this episode is like number like 756. I don't need to know that. Of episodes that we've done. Yeah, so Daddy's Deli was episode 140.

So that's not even that early on. But yeah, wow, we've done a lot of episodes. Bro. we've talked to each other and you know what we still say things to each other that we don't know about each other you know why?

Because again we were very drunk for a very long time. Always be rediscovering some things about a friendship that was based in alcohol for the first few years. It's kind of nice. Yes, it's beautiful.

You know, you find yourselves again and you know we grow and we find new things about each other and we do know that Snooki has grown in the last 15 years. She's a great example. honestly the entire cast of the Jersey Shore is a great example aside from their politics okay I'm sorry this is the one group of people where I you know I need to just cover my ears and go blah blah blah blah I don't want to know

about what they believe how they vote or whatever but as people they were the icons of being extremely hot messes in their early 20s those of us who were hot messes in our early 20s I didn't we talked about this when we read Mike's book celebrities, but neither Jackie or I were into it at the time that it was on. We got into it afterwards, and then we saw ourselves, and we felt seen. And Snooki is just such a delightful person. I love who she has become. I love who she was then. I love really every version of her in between, and I love her friendship with everybody else. And so 15 years ago, this week was her getting day drunk. She was with Jenny, right? They were. They were. were day drunk at the Jersey Shore and she got so drunk.

Wasn't this a meatball time? Wasn't her and I think Jenny was there, but also wasn't it, what's her name? Was it with the meatballs? With her, with the meatball twins. Dana. Yeah. Yeah. To be honest, I remember that they were out day drinking and bar hopping and like very

early in the day, but I don't remember who they were with. And then she staggers out onto the boardwalk. and starts yelling, where's the beach? And, you know, it's right there. I love it also. She's like, to be fair, I was looking for the ramps that you walk down to get to the beach. And that's what I couldn't find. But I couldn't think of the word ramps.

So I just kept saying, where's the beach? And that does make sense. That does make sense. It's perfect. Unless you've, if you haven't been that drunk, it doesn't make sense. But if you have, you're like, that makes total sense. I've been there. But, you know, obviously the footage is just pure gold because the ocean is in the background.

And she's just screaming. Where is the beach? Where's the beach? And so she's recreated it, by the way. She went and got the cop that arrested her to recreate the video for the 15th anniversary. Yeah. And I, yeah, it's very, it's very sweet. And now the shore shop has been renamed the Snooki shop.

Go for. Oh, I hope she's in her own of it. There's a picture of her in front of a store of a store on the boardwalk that says the Snooky Shop. But yeah, I just, we just, this is fresh on our mind since we just read Mike's book. And it was really fun. If you are a Jersey Shore fan, it's a really fun book to hear about their, like, well, it's all from his perspective. And it's mostly about. We're going to read the Snooky book.

We're going to read the Snooky book. We're going to read the Snookie book. Yeah. Mike's book is obviously mostly about his struggle with addiction. But you do get his view of, of, you know, kind of burning through the five seasons of the Jersey Shore. and how much they mean to each other and how much the cast really wanted. And it's really nice. And we're getting the opposite of that experience while reading Gwyneth Peltro's

biography right now. And don't worry. We're going to talk about that on celebrities next week. Yes, Jackie and I have started Gwyneth Paltrow's biography. We will, I'm sure we will bring some of the big stuff to the main show here. So, you know, if you're not over at the Patreon, don't worry. But we are reading this book. And yes, it is insufferable.

It is a biography. And she has a whole thing at the beginning about how. how this is not from Gwyneth. This is her doing a bunch of reporting or whatever. She's looking for various articles, coverage of her. Yeah, but then it's like, and then I talked to this one person that said, actually, she's really nice. And then I talked to this one person that I was like, oh, my God,

Gwyneth, so good. And then I was like, I'm sorry. I know we're not doing celebrities right now, but I just listened to it for like three or four hours yesterday. And I was just like, I just. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. The Gwyneth book is going to be, it's a lot. It's really, every book we've read so far, aside from Hilaria Baldwin, we have come away loving the author, even Heather Gay from Ville House House, Salt Lake City. And this one is, Gweth is not the author, it is a biography of her, but I can already tell you that we will dislike her much more by the time the book is over. And that's, yeah, that's a lot. That's saying something.

I thought maybe we were going to love her. I really thought, just with these. things you don't know. I thought maybe we're going to love her. Totally. I was ready to love her. In fact, you know, I was ready. You know, I wasn't ready to love the hunting wives. Everybody kept telling me, Jackie watched the hunting wives. You got to watch the hunting wives. And I was like, all right, I just feel like the everything about it really isn't my jams. Uh-huh. I say that to the six hours of fucking hunting wives I watched last night. Okay. I almost started it, but I needed to finish my mystery at the sea documentary. Oh, the mystery at the sea. Oh, no, that's another big one though. That is another one of the big.

And she still disappeared? Still disappeared. They find her in the water? Still does, no. She's got to be out there somewhere. But this is, you know, you watch one true crime documentary and you're going to become a freak. You're like, I need to investigate where she is.

And I'm not going to do that. But then I was like, oh, hunting wives, that's the one Jackie wants to watch. So I will start hunting wives. I'm down. It was like all the words that were. describing it, we're doing it for me. It was like dramatic, sexy, you know. Yes, it is. It is also like everyone's calling it the late summer binge. Oh, excellent. It's very, man. So there's a lot of articles, which I, you know, to me makes me want to watch it even more. But I do understand that the tides are

changing on these kinds of things. It is very raunchy. Ronchy is the word that it keeps being described as. Now, I have, I was. What is that? Ronchy is, I love to say this lovingly, a term that moms use to describe things that are dirty. So does it. But it could mean not really that dirty, just a little sassy, or it could mean like filthy. What does it mean? You're right. To me, babo, babo, babo.

I'm in trouble, baby. Mboyo yo, yo, yo, yo, y, y, gimme, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me. I was, you know, surprise. I haven't been feeling my horniest as of late. Yeah. Man, I'll tell you what, I wash a little bit on the water. Really? Okay.

Between hunting wives and ultigatam, I really do understand a lot more about what I'm craving right now. And it's women. It's women. It's women. It's women. I want to look at them. I want any, any, you know, or just, you know, You identify an asthma?

I don't give a shit, man. There's just something about hunting wives has, now I will say there's a lot. There's also moidal about. I love a murder. That's what I want. I'm so much more likely to enjoy it if there's a murder there. And Jay, this. Now, I will say it might be raunchier than you usually prefer, but the rest of this show is

all you. I can launch. I'm on page seven. I can launch. I know you can launch. It is just like there were definitely like Jeff walked in and went, oh, what are you? I'm like in a way of just like

it just straight up looked like I was watching board. That's great. I love that. Yeah, I mean, it kind of was. And there are some, and I will say it's based on a book. I am not speaking as someone that is, I don't know the books. I can't. I can't speak on it in that direction.

I am speaking as someone that saw the trailer when, oh, it's a bunch of women like that are in Texas and love guns. And I'm just like, oh, I don't know if this is for my sensitive brain right now. It is. Okay. Maybe I'll read the book too. You know I love a book like that. Bro, I think you actually would probably love the book because there are a lot of people saying

that the show is raunchier than the book is. So, but I will also say that apparently the word on the street and why everyone's like, but but but but Netflix, how could you? The people that are saying that, it's because it was originally made for stars and it was fully done and then I guess it got dropped or it didn't get released and then Netflix picked it up and put it out. So it wasn't made for Netflix standards. It was made for more humpin.

That means it's made for. Jackie, baby. Give it all. Yeah, that sounds great. Raunchy is literally the word I used to describe page seven if I find myself in the unfortunate situation of a child's, one of my children's classmates' mothers asks me what I do for a living. And then I try to mumble. I'm a podcaster so they don't hear me.

And then they say, oh, what's the name of your podcast? And then I try to find an excuse to run away. And if I can't. Why are you? Why are you ashamed of all that day? I don't do this. I don't do this if I'm not talking to a child's classmates' parent. If it's a normal person, I will proudly talk about page seven and recommend it. But if I'm talking to a school mom, I try. And then if I have to tell them the name, I say, now you should know, it's raunchy. It is raunchy. Because I do feel like that is a mom-friendly way of saying, you're going to hear the phrase, he's going to come in your face. It's daddy's deli. Oh, yeah. You know, we're going to. drop a couple C words. We're going to talk about slipping and slide. And honestly, they might not even know what that means. And that's fine. But speaking of slipping and sliding, man, the fits

that some of these bitches, I have a problem. My problem is that I like to watch Real Housewives. I like to watch things like a hunting wives. And I look at the fits that these women are pulling off. And I can't imagine ever being able. Could you imagine if I showed up in like a slinky tinkie. where it's just like, oh, will my nipples have a smile towards MJ today? Like that it's always like scary. It's like you put on an outfit that it's just like, are you living in fear of what you might see? I know, but I'm like intrigued by people who live that way. I know.

People who are like, you know, I'm dressing for dinner, you know, I'm like dressing for the night. That's all you can think of. You know, people that go out to dinner. Yeah, that's, yeah, we're thinking big here. Like every day some people like put on a, you know, or like the whole like transition, your look from daytime to evening. I'm like, you're supposed to do that? I got one look.

I got one look. What you see is what you get. There's no transition happening. Especially when you go to other places. Like I brought some fits to go out, you know, when I was in Florida. And then I'm like, Jackie, you can't wear any of this stuff here. And you think like, oh, but you're in Florida. It's like in certain parts of Florida you can.

Yeah. You can get away with like an L.A. look in it. But in the certain parts that we were in, it's more just like, if you wear something like that, people are just going to yell F-slers out the car as you walk into the beach restaurant. You know what I mean? Or at least I'm just saying the part of Larda where from. Yeah. It's just like, especially me and Henry.

Right. And then you're slapping an Eddie in there and Natalie and Jeff and we're all showing up. In like, we have, oh, accessories. I did, I, I, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I wasn't shamed into taking my funeral hat off, but I will say when I showed up at the military funeral with my large, I was trying to give, really given Catherine O'Hara. Oh, whether that's in Beetlejuice or Schitt's Creek, it really was up to you. But I did take the hat off. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah. And, I mean, depending on where, certainly in my, um, part of the country, and I say, this again with love, with great love, but if you're too flashy, you're going to get a lot of like, you think, who do you think you are? Yes. You think you're better than me, that type of thing. And you don't, you don't want to just offend someone just the minute you walk into a restaurant just by having the audacity to look that way. Yes. You're right. That is a risk in some. In some places it is. Honestly, that's why I feel like L.A. though, you know what you really could go anywhere with the new skins shapewear slapped onto your face?

Now, I think that L.A., honestly, it would be like, oh, the who's who of who got the new skims shapewear, which if you have not seen, the new skims shapewear. Now, here's a thing, MJ. I bought a very similar thing for my brother for Christmas about five years ago. Do I shove it onto his head and call him a little turkey boy and make him act like a turkey because then it kind of shoots his face fat out to the front of his chin? and then it looks like he's got giblets and then I make him make sounds like he's a turkey because that's what you're supposed to do to a brother. Okay.

So it's a big band-aid for your fat face. It is for your fat, ugly face. And I say strap it up. I don't want to look at it dangling down. No, thank you. What is it full up? It looks like a dip E's strapped to your face. I say make it tighter.

I started reading Carrie Fisher's chocaholic. I'm going to have to look up the exact quote, but she has some great quotes about the just kind of gradual tendency of how the body changes as you get older. But I do feel like as you get older, the face can change. And sometimes the face gets, I don't know, you're like, what happened here? Why is my face wider than it used to be?

So in that way, I understand the desire to put a big, strap around your face to make it look skinnier. But the problem is you look like you're wearing a big, it looks like you've been in some sort of car accident. It looks like how Mike the situation looked after he banged his head into the concrete wall. You're right. You're right. You're completely correct. A couple weeks at least. I also feel like so, you know, it looks like also one of those things, like the old timey when you would have a toothache and they would wrap something around your head. Yes. Yes, like in the Little Rascals, if you had a toothache. Yes.

This is the look. The 1920s toothache. It's giving 1920s toothache without access to dental care. Which no one does anyway here. So you may as well get one. We are back in that 100 years later and nobody can see the dentist again. No, no, no, no, no. So it is, but this is like supposed to like, is it supposed to suck in your sags for when you take it off?

I feel like shapewear sucks in your lumps for when you're trying to wear a tight dress and go out. You know, your dress for dinner, if you will. And this, I guess, our first ever face innovation is here. The copy says, this must have face wrap boasts our signature sculpting fabric and features collagen yarns for ultra soft jaw support. I need it. Give it to me, MJ. I've got to have it. But you can't have it.

It's already sold out. It's sold out so fast. Okay, my question for you, MJ. Why? And I'm not saying this. I understand my privilege. I'm not even speaking about it from a privilege section, even though I know what all is said from privilege. I know that all of the face wraps are being made in multi, in different colors to match your skin.

Great. Love it. We love it. Inclusive body shaming. But why? Is it because you're wearing it outside? Like, are you saying that you're wearing it outside of the house so you're trying to make it look like the rest of your face? so that nobody notices you have a full strapped in.

Like, it's full across your entire head. It's not like you can, it's not just your neck. It's not just, you can't hide it under your hair. Like, it's your full head. Yeah, no, there's no outfit you could wear that would hide this. The way, that's what I'm wondering. Unless you have a wig. But even then, you're going to see it underneath your chin.

Yeah, not unless you also have a beard wig. It's not your, like, it is, it goes all the way. it looks like a head that's crowning, you know, out of a vagina. Yes. Yes. It looks like yes. You're coming out face first. You got pussy head. You got baby pussy head. And again, I guess this is what I'm wondering. It says Velcro closures at the top and nape of the neck allow for easy everyday wear. Am I supposed to wear this at home to fix my saggy fat face at home? Yeah. Am I supposed to wear it out?

Yeah. Because it's so embarrassing to show the world my saggy fat face that I have to cover it. All time. at all times. In fact, honestly, MJ, I can't believe I've stopped puking long enough just to do this episode. Wally, look at your saggy. Saggy fat face. I can't. Like, I already am getting shapeware ads and I'm like, I don't have tits. I can't even buy shapeware if I wanted to, you know, like if I bought shapeware, it would give me excess on top, you know, I would need shapeware for the, for the, I would need masculinizing shapeware.

wear for the top. I also understand sometimes shapewear is used, you know, it's like we talked about this here on the show. It's like, even Beyonce wears shapewear. It's like, it does help you. Like, it lays your clothes better. Like, there are reasons for shapeware. I understand. I mean, there's a, this is the thing. I've thought about it because now I used to love wearing just like tight fitting a shirts all summer. And now I'm at a point in my life where that doesn't quite feel as flattering as it once did. And I'm like, should I get shapeware to smooth my lumps? But then I'm like, I don't think I, but so I under, all of this is to say, I'm really not trying to make. fun of shapeware. I totally get that

if you're like, I'm going to wear like a fit fitting dress. I want to smooth my lumps. Like I also want to smooth my lumps. So I'm really not coming at that from a place of judgment. And also again, I want to fix my face, you know, so I get the idea of what. I told you, MJ,

I have the little jibbles. I have it. And they told me I needed to put filler in it to make my neck thicker to make the jiblets go away. No, but then you're in a loop and now you got to, you know, It's like I just feel like it's a, it's a, you don't want to put good money after bad, you know. You're like, well, my forehead is smooth, but now my giblets are showing.

And then you got to inject your giblets. And then they're going to be like, my giblets are showing. I feel like if you're, so it's like even the way you suck it in, I feel like isn't it going to shove it up into your like cheeks and eyes and you don't want more of that there either. And then, if this is just something you wear at home, you're telling me that I'm supposed to like parent my children and like get them ready for bed while wearing the sock around my face. You must have to do it. You must have to answer to it. There's no way you can move your neck when you're wearing this. You know, like, what do you, this, you're supposed to, I mean, if this is what you're supposed

to, like, wear at home, I think that this is for a class of people who, like, doesn't have any work to do at home, you know, they don't have to clean their house. They don't have to, like, pick up shit off the floor. I just can't imagine, unless it's really flexible. But then, I don't, how it's, how's it's suck it up my sags, if it's flex. I just, it looks like a cast. Yes. And all I feel like it's going to do.

do, like if you have ever worn shapewear and you have a body at all, you know it's going to roll up. So it goes all the way down your neck. You know that shit as you move is going to roll up. And I'm sure they're like, oh, but it's got a gripper thing. Fuck off with your gripper things. How many of those gripper things actually work on most of the things that have the gripper things.

And you, when people are like, oh, it's a strapped, like, it's got the gripper things on it. And yet still, I am pulling up the dress. So you're telling me, I'm going to pay all this money. And then I think you're rolling back down my neck. I think you're rolling it back down my neck. Is that what we need? I completely agree.

I've been wearing bike shorts for the past few summers, and it's great, right? Like, you know, it's comfy. They look good. It's whatever. And I feel like, you know, you can dress them up, dress them down, whatever. Bike shorts, summer bike shorts. I don't know the dressing up with the bike shorts. I don't know what you're doing with the breast dressers up with the bike shorts.

I'm saying you can include the bike shorts as a part of a. fit, I'm sure, but... As a fit. But... I just imagine you adding belly chains over your bike shorts being like, look, they're dressed up. But all of them have like, they're like tummy flattening bike shorts or whatever. And I'm not even seeking that out. But yes, I've had two children and I've got some stuff to flatten there.

But it's got to go somewhere unless all these Instagram ads are like, this one, it doesn't do it. It really makes your tummy disappear. But all these bike shorts I have, they just push every... to the top. It just squirts it up to the top. It's got to go somewhere. It has to go somewhere. That's the thing. I, this, and so I, if I put this on my face to make my face skinny, all my fat on my face is just going to come out the middle. I don't like it. With the bucle fat removal a couple of weeks ago, that I was like, when do you suck it out there? Does it find a different plate? Like, does it come back in a different weird spot? Well, I think that if you suck it out, it's that has gone into the sucker. You know, I think that the bike shorts, it doesn't have anywhere to go. But then you get more fat, then it's more fat comes in. And it's the same way where it's like, I've heard people because I looked into like getting like the arm skin removal.

I'm not saying that this is true for all people, but that like if you get the skin removed that if you end up gaining weight, then it's more difficult for like the elasticity or something. So then the fat goes other places. That makes sense. Rather than back there, which is like sometimes what you want. Sometimes it's not what you want because you can't direct the fat traffic. And that's the problem. them. My tits were the first thing to get little. God damn it. I have heard that you. You can't

direct it. I've heard that it's like it's making me think of the phrase P is stored in the balls. But I feel like that everyone says that when you lose weight, you lose it from your boobs first. Yeah, man, it sucks. Sagi, lose what you lose what you want first. Man, also not to like roll it back because I didn't really look that much into it for. But I feel like we also may have been too nice to Sidney's Sweeney because a lot of people are like really like between like the Maga stuff and like everything that like going to Bezos's wedding. Yeah. I really am still personally like is she just being told to do all these things and she doesn't like I don't want to say but I am about to say it. Is she aware of everything? Is she that? The nicest we can be is maybe she's. too dumb to know what's going on. I really feel like is it that, but then it's like these things

keep happening not to bring, I guess I'm beating a fucking dead horse over here, but I just, the internet is still really like, we will not let this go. I, uh, this, and this really is one, because I am not interested in being too, um, gentle on any people who like eugenics, right? I really am not. And, and I also, I'm like, I really cannot figure this one out. I don't want be too nice to her just because I like her as an actress. I really don't. And I also don't you don't really like her as an actress. Outside of Euphoria, have you seen her anything else? She was good in White Lotus. Which are very, very little. I'm just, maybe I'm speaking more of the other two movies.

You have seen more of her work than, I have. Yeah, if she's not worth bending over, okay, here's what I'm thinking about. I feel like when we had Jake on the show and Jake was like, you know, every generation has its like girl who, hot girl with big bazongas, I think was his phrase, who that everybody loses their mind for and everyone gets real weird about. And so I think two things can be true. One, it can be true that people are being needlessly weird about Sydney Sweeney because she's hot and popular and thus some of the weirdness towards her is definitely like

unnecessary and misogynistic and all of that. And I think that that's true. And I think that's what I was focusing on in recent times. And then this ad makes me be like, what the fuck is happening here? because as far as I can tell she hasn't issued any, like, statement. No. And, like, you know, and I'm like, I don't know. I, I don't know.

Colbert kind of had a joke that was like people are kind of overreacting about this. Let's see. His joke is, just like Sidney's me, I also carry the gene for a sexy commercial scratchy voice. I get it from my uncle on my mother's side. Now, some people look at this and they're seeing something sinister saying, that the jeans, jeans, jeans, denim wordplay in an ad featuring a white blonde woman means American Eagle could be promoting eugenics, white supremacy, and Nazi propaganda. That might be a bit of an overreaction, although Hitler did briefly model for mind comfort fit

jeans. Yeah, I mean, saying it's an overreaction is all well and good, but I guess the question is, is it? Mind comfort fit jeans is a good joke. I mean, it's a good, you can't say it's not a good joke. It's great. But also, I mean, and I love Colbert, but I just don't like. I just don't know if it's an overreaction because I again, like I was saying yesterday,

I don't know what the generous interpretation of this ad is. And I do think it would be warranted. Like, yes, internet outrage goes too far, blah, blah, blah. All of that can be true. But if a bunch of people are like, is this ad pro-ugenics, eugenics, why wouldn't you issue a clarifying statement if you're Sydney Sweeney or if you're American Eagle to be like, oh, it was meant to be a joke on blue jeans. We really didn't mean for it to suggest that the best genes are blonde hair and blue eyes in these times, right? Like, I don't understand why they wouldn't try to make it like a little bit clearer. And if the fun is that it's ambiguously, you genesis, that's not fun. That's also not fun. Yeah, not really too fun. So like I really, it's so tricky. Like, I feel like I'm

trying to, because, like, because of who I am on the internet, I hear from a lot of people who think I take things way too seriously, and I overreact, and I, you know, you see the, you know, it's like, oh, really, you think the genes out is eugenicist? And so, and I try to like to, yeah, maybe, maybe sometimes people on the internet do, like, pick a horse that they're going to ride on, like a woke horse they're going to ride on. Maybe, maybe sometimes that does, it's a bit of an over correction, right? But then also, you know, you don't want to be like, oh, it's fine. You know, like, like Hulk Hogan dying. Like a lot of people were like, oh, he was a complicated, but rest in peace. And it's like, no, no, no, no, let's not erase. It wasn't

complicated. He was a racist, right? And so like, this is one of those things where I'm like, I truly cannot figure out what is happening here. Is it just an accidentally eugenicist? And if it's an accident, why not clarify? Why not clarify? You know, I will say that there is one thing that I feel that the entire internet is getting behind that it, on the same side of. And that is that the, uh, the CGI for the baby and Fantastic Four was absolute garbage. Now, I know that you probably didn't get to see Fantastic Four, MJ. No, and my poor husband hasn't seen Superman or Fantastic Four yet.

Oh, my God. What are you? You keeping him locked in a cage, MJ? Oh, he's a lawyer that helps with fucking human rights. I think that he could carve out a couple of hours to go see an immigrant story. I know. He's going to love it. You know, he's going to freaking love it.

I know he's going to love it. I know he's going to love it. No, he's a very important job that he has to do. But so Tom, Fantastic Four has a CGI baby. I mean, this is, do we want a CGI baby? instead of a real baby though? Yes, we do. We do.

I think that we do. I think personally we do. I think especially in a movie that is like, you know, you have, like so much money is riding on getting the shots and making sure everything is good. Do you really want to work with throwing a baby into the mix to try and see if, you know, they're going to do well with all of the violence that is currently happening? Right. And also you think that like how confusing it must be for a baby on a set when it's like, technically, all green screen and you can't really see anything of what is happening. So they don't know what they're.

They're also a friggin baby. But it was weird to me that I kept getting pulled out of the scene because I kept looking at the baby. And of everything else was so cool to see. And then it's like the baby. Yeah. Did you guys run out of money for the baby? Because I do want to abolish child acting, but I don't want to replace actors with

CGI or AI. So this is a, this is another tough one to straddle, man. Where do we get when we do? How do you feel about the baby, especially because this is like, like we're talking baby. We're talking like, like not even toddler. We're talking baby. I will say despite my vehemence that I, that child acting is a poisonous and dangerous industry. I think that it's like if you're going to do it, I think having a like, like I know people who have had their baby be like in commercials and then save all that money, put it in a, you know, a high interest savings account. And then baby, surprise, you two. 18 or 20 and then you get a bunch of money from the baby. Like a baby's not traumatized. You're on. You know, I think when you're a baby, parent could be present and you could make sure, you know,

there's no Dan Schneider involved or whatever. So I feel like if you're going to have actors who are children, probably best for it to have it be babies, you know, than actual children. But yeah, I don't know. It sounds like it was really taking you out of the experience. Yeah, but like you said, I'm happy that it wasn't a real baby,

but a lot of the internet is saying that baby was given Renezmi vibes. You know, it was definitely, I am set. I guess not a spoiler, not spoiler, but a spoiler that no one would ever consider. I was hoping that I'm like, oh, I guess if it's like a super baby, like I wanted to eat its way out of her fucking stomach, like in Twilight. Yeah. If it's super, I wanted to rip through it. If you're going to go Renez may, go full Renezma. Go full Renezmae.

But I will say also that's like. part of the movie is like, should two supers have a baby? Like, is this something? Like, what is the child going to be? So there was a big part of it. I will throw it out there. Really enjoyed Fantastic Four. I need to also say, I do not have the allegiance that a lot of people have, because

people that love Fantastic Four have been screaming for a proper Fantastic Four movie since I think the beginning of time. and I think they're happy with it. Yeah. The people I've talked to who've seen it are happy, who are nerds have seen it are happy. Because like thing, the CGI that did thing, awesome. Galactus, like the huge, like this, the big bad,

like very, very, like genuinely creepy. It was very graphic novely. Like that's essentially what Jeff was saying, that it was very, it was an homage to the old actual comics. And, man, I tell you what. Pedro Gaskell. You know, I know that it's like, oh, Jackie, wow, hat and a hat. Like, you don't need to, like, join the internet and all of your thirst.

But it's like, we watch materialists, right? And then in this, it's just all of him, like, you know how I get. He wants to, like, protect the family, that be, you know, he wants his wife that he loves. And I'm just like, gag, gag, gag, g. And of course, I leaned over to Jeff, and I was like, if you were a super, I know that you would be exactly the same. And then he's like, you mean I would stretch a lot? I was like, that's how I meant.

I mean that you will love us as a family and I know that you would do anything to protect us. Well, everyone's mad at Pedro Pascal because he's being too physically affectionate in his interviews. To which I say, fuck off. Let the man be handsy and with him. I mean, it's not him being hansy. It's his seat partners being antsy with him because I think he's just one of those people that when you're around him, you have the urge to touch him. Well, what he has said, what I really like about him, which I completely understand, is that he, so he has been asked over and over again, like, why are you so private about your love life? Why do you keep it so private?

Why do you so closed off? And he's like, it's funny because publicly, I'm a very closed off person. Personally, I'm an open fucking book. Like, he seems like the kind of person that I'm going to, you know, not that I should compare him to me. And I'm not talking about like acting skill or anything like that. But like, you know, MJ, as a friend of mine, there is never like a secret. Like, I, oh, you know exactly what I'm going through. You know exactly how I feel about everything.

And honestly, I do share a lot of it on Mike, but there is a good portion. And, of course, you leave off Mike. Yeah, you got to be, you got to have a private life. Apparently is just like a very, like, that everyone touches him because he is such like a human connection kind of guy. That's what it's, it seems like, because he's so disarming. And that's what, yeah, I guess what there was, you know, people were kind of trying to make it, like, people were actually mad at him and being like, he's too touchy of like his female co-stars. There was like a bit of a hubbub about this a couple of days ago. And it just seems like, all his female co-stars are like, I enjoy, we all enjoy. We love him. We love him. He's great. Like, we all, haven't you had that person in your life that's like, I just thought of two or three people that it's like, yeah, for the most part, I'm not a very handsy, touchy. person, but I do have some friends that I am way more touchy with just because we have that

friendship. Totally. And also one of the things was like, oh, he's touching all the women, but he's not touching all the men. And then a bunch of people responded with like photo montages of him being like all over Oscar Isaacs, which, you know, save that. Oh. All over all sorts of men.

He seems to just be a touchy guy, right? He's a touchy guy. Yeah. The idea that he's like a, it's, you know, oh, celebrity gossip nerves are so annoying because it's like he's a closet case. He won't stop harassing women. And it's like, which is it? Right. Like, I mean, I guess it's possible for it to be both. But like, I don't know, it just seems like now it's like the Pedro Pascal backlash is it emerging. And it's like, oh, you know, he should, if he's a closet case, then he owes it to us to come out of the closet. Or like he's, why is he harassing all these women by touching them who, even though the women say that it's fine. Like, it's just a weird. It feels like, like all the people who have been talking, who talked about working with him are like, like I love working with him. I feel so safe with him and comfortable.

He's a very affectionate guy. It just feels like there's trying to like, now it's trying to be like, oh, well, actually Pedro Pascal is, like, there's a vanity fair headline from a month ago. Everyone wants a piece of Pedro Pascal. And I guess that's what happens when you're this popular. These conflicting narratives start emerging. Well, especially like with Vanessa Kirby specifically, who plays his wife in Fantastic Four, not just his wife, she's also a superhero.

But their connection, like obviously, the fact that they, they have such a connection off screen as well means that they created something vulnerable and beautiful together that, like, they were, I know obviously not in a relationship, but they had to pretend like they were in a relationship for quite some time. It's like when everyone got so fucking weird about Walton Goggins and Amy Lou Wood, right? And it's like, can't you just let this be like a relationship based on mutual respect that also involves some degree of platonic physical affection? Like, I don't know. I find it really sad when people don't believe it's possible to live in a world with platonic. physical affection. And even like, like, I quote from Vanessa Kirby when the internet is like, but Vanessa Kirby, but he's talking to Vanessa Kirby too much. She literally said during San Diego Comic-Con that a lot of people were talking about because Pedro Pascal reached out and clasped Vanessa Kirby's hand and they held hands. And she said, what happened is we were both incredibly nervous going out in front of thousands of people who love this comic. He wanted me to know

that we were in this together and I found it a lovely gesture. and was very glad to squeeze his hand back. Can we listen to the person who is being touched? Can we please? Please. Can you stop? Like, Jesus Christ. And have you never had like a, like, there's plenty of men who I don't want to bone who I would reach out and grab their hand in a moment of vulnerability?

Like, again, it is possible for men and women to have loving, affectionate relationships without it being about boning or without it being about boning or without it being about. about fucked up power dynamics. It's good to notice fucked up power dynamics. It's good to notice sexism and it's in the industry and all of that. But when everyone involved is saying, it's fine, we're all, this is all fine. And then these, you know, he's actually bad. Narratives get all chinned up. It's like, what are we doing here? He's an actor. Have you ever been around an actor? They touch everyone. I'm not saying like how Andrew Cuomo said, I'm not a pervert. I'm just a talliant, you know, like, he is a perfect. I thought that was Mario Battali. Oh no, that's just what we say about him. I think, Mario Batali also said that.

I think in fact, when Cuomo said it, people were like, that's the Mario Battali defense. And it turns out they were both perverts, but I don't want to get me wrong. There are plenty of actors who use the I'm a touchy actor excuse to be inappropriately touchy. But that is obviously not what's happening here. In the words of the person being touched, let him be a, let him, let Pedro Pascal be your dramatic actor friend who grabs your hand when you're vulnerable. Oh my God, please. Are you kidding? Let him. I let it.

Yeah, that's my fucking let him. Let him. What do you want to grab? Let him. He has to grab. He's a feeling actor, Jeff. And that's what I'll say. He has to do it.

How else is he going to perform? Now, I didn't think this in our links, even though it is apropos of nothing, that I did write down, MJ, why aren't you letting me force you to go to Cabo like Stasi did on her birthday? Also, I think that we should be throwing drinks more often. I've been watching a lot more Vanderpump rules.

I was going to say, is this a Vanderpump reference? This is a Vanderpump. And there's no link. I'm just like, what are you talking about? No link. This is a Vanderpump reference. This was just me. I may have, I may be I ate some edibles and I was on an airplane watching many hours of

Vanderpump rules. And I just think that like the action of throwing a drink, I feel like is something that while I'm not saying that I encourage everyone, to start throwing drinks. It's just something that seems so, oh, effective. Yeah. And it is such a move that is not, although aggressive, and can be violent. And I'm not talking about throwing a glass at somebody.

You just throw the drink. I'm not talking about throwing the glass. It's an important distinction. And I've never gotten the opportunity to do it. I've never done it either. I had a couple of times where I wish I had, you know, like if I could, if you gave me like, one ticket to travel back in time and throw a drink on someone's face. I think I know where I'd go.

There's just so many of these shows that all these bitches force other people to go somewhere for their birthday. But I know obviously this is like the television show is paying for them to do all these things. But it's just, can you imagine the

colonies to invite, to force someone to come for your birthday and then throw a drink at them at some point during your birthday party? Yeah. And maybe it's because it's Leo season, so I'm really starting to like drum up the ideas of like the word of like what it is to be a Leo. I will say almost all of Leo season is in retrograde. It's great for us. We're doing well. Don't worry about the Leo's in your life. We're all going to make it through. I still haven't learned what in retrograde means. That's like, it's bad, MJ.

Don't worry about what it means. We all, we all know what it means. Everyone that says that it's in retrograde. Like we know, but I can't. can't let you in on what it means. I don't need to know. Oh, there's a couple of different, there's like a lot of pop culture somehow during the one week that you were traveling and not, I would,

I don't, we don't need to talk about this, but we just shout out to all the people sending me the story about how Jojo calls Chris Hughes's balls, Timmy and Jimmy. Yes. That's all I'm going to say about that. I do want to know whether you hate the four-year-old girl

who recreated Lady Gaga's abracadabra video. Yes. Whether you hate it. or love it. I watched it. I love children. Love Lady Gaga. I got to say, I felt like this did not need to happen and this did not need to be done. No, I don't think that it did. I don't think that I need to see.

In fact, honestly, if it was a CGI baby, I would have enjoyed it more. Would have been better. Yeah, I just, it's her doing like the whole music video and singing it in her little voice and, you know, good for her, but I don't need to. Especially because like the quote, is I will never survive how cute this is. That's what Gaga said about it.

And that's nice for the four-year-old. But does the four-year-old... I'm not saying there's a four-year-old really like Gaga. I'm sure... I mean, she knew all the words. I'm sure that lady, you know, that four-year-old loved Abercadabra. But do we...

How much money did we need to spend on making your four-year-old recreate the entire Abercadabra video? It's just too much. And if you have that level of extra money, it's probably a couple other places you could put it right now. I think that there's a couple of...

There's a couple of, you know, departments. that could use a little help. There's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of, like, many groups of people that could really, like, use some help. You could donate it to the Samir Project on Instagram, the Samir Project, getting food to people in Gaza. You can donate that money somewhere instead of making your four-year-old recreate Lady Gaga's Aber-Kadabber video. How about, what's good just to be a rapid fire? What do we hate more?

Jojo calling his balls, Jimmy and Timmy, four-year-old doing this music video, or Matthew Lawrence saying that they should use AI to recreate Robin Williams. What do we hate? Is the fuck Mary kill situation? Do I have to fuck Mary kill this? Maybe this is a new segment. What do we, what pop culture news do we fuck Mary? Do you fuck Mary kill? All right.

I guess that I'm going to, oh my God. I guess I'm going to. You got to fuck the ball story, obviously. Yeah. Honestly, I was going to marry the ball story. I was going to marry the ball story. Marry the ball story. I was going to, I was going to.

I was, see, I feel weird saying I'm going to, I'm not, I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to kill a child, want to kill the idea of putting that amount of money into a recreation for a four-year-old to do of a music video. Correct. Yeah. That idea, I'd like to kill. Yeah. And I guess I'm going to fuck AI.

I guess I have to. I guess I have to not Matthew. I'd never fuck AI, Matthew Lawrence, but I would fuck AI Robin Williams. See, I would fuck real life Matthew Lawrence to get him to stop saying this about Robin. sit on his face long enough then he'll be like, he's going, keep going, keep going. I'm so happy that you had a well-adjusted childhood as a childhood actor. I'm glad that your parents were there for you.

I love that you love Robin Williams so much. Every child who ever worked with him loved him so much. And I'm sorry that you miss him so much, Matthew Lawrence. And what we're not going to do is we're not going to use AI to bring, quote unquote, bring him back. Can we just say that like there is a, you know, I'm thankful that technology. that technology has not gotten to the point to be, I mean, it probably has and we just don't know yet,

but I'm just going to keep living in my dream of, it can't be me yet. I, like, for instance, and now I don't touch it. After I learned way more about chat, GPT, I do not touch it. Oh, yeah, because you were exploring it for a little bit. I was exploring it because I thought that it was something that I need, and then, like, the more that I realize, I'm like,

this, like, I always, exploring it more to see if it could even slug. recreate the way my brain works. And it just can't. And so now I'm done with it. I don't use it. I'm not going to come back to me when it's not hurting the environment, the way that it's hurting the environment. And then I can go use it to like compare and contrast all of the predators from the

movies, predators, and compare and contrast them sexually for me, which is what I did originally use chat cheap for. But then I found out it was bad for the internet and I don't do it anymore. Yeah. I like this is and we we get a lot of pushback on this because people are like it's the way of the future. Bad for the environment. Yeah, bad for the environment.

That's people are like it's the way of the future. A lot of people say, you know, it's, you know, you figure it out or be left behind or but I, you know, speaking of malicious compliance, I feel like what what AI calls for is hostile noncompliance. I, to me, this is a non-negotiable. It is destroying the livelihood of artists. It is destroying the environment. and those, for me, those two are non-negotiables.

And I get that there are cool. I'm in a playroom design group on Facebook. And I look at everyone's playrooms. And I think that must be nice. And people use AI, do chat GPT to take a picture of their room and then be like, I want this room to be a sensory playroom for my whatever. And then chat GPT will do it. And I think that's cool.

So if you use it and it is helpful for, I have close friends who love it and use it. They use it for recipes. They use, you know, they use it for obviously as personal assistance, stuff, emails. I totally understand. Personally, for me, it is something I am going to do hostile noncompliance with as long as humanly possible. And, yeah, I mean, Matthew Lawrence's quote was, I would love, now obviously with respect and the okay from his family, I would love to do something really special with his voice because I know for a generation that voice is just so iconic. And this just truly actually upset and upsets and scares me because. Yes.

This is not what is meant to happen to people, to brilliant artists, actors, singers who die. It's just not. I don't want. And especially like if he's not, if there's not open written consent in his will or anything like that, I feel like it's like all that shit. We're going to start seeing all the like those laws having to be put into place because like it's just going to be, it's going to be used for evil. Right. Maybe it's just because we're watching so much be used for evil right now that it is like, like you're just like, oh, and then. what are they going to do with that? Oh, good. What are they going to go? Oh, great. What's next? You know,

I feel like we're all in that level right now. Yeah. That's where I'm at. And I, you know, again, pushback, welcome. I understand why it is, why people like it. I understand that it probably is the way of the future. But guess what? I didn't get a smartphone until 2011. And I wish I had waited longer. Damn. So I am a Luddite and I'm a crabbing it. Damn. Love this. I mean, and I don't, did we bring up? I forgot that Barack Obama. was condescending about ketchup. Excuse me. I'm sorry that Barack Obama knows best.

Yeah, I'm saying it again, about the idea of ketchup use. I, you know, I, the man is good at, you know, being condescending about certain things. And ketchup is one of them. And this is one that I agree with him. And he'll make you feel bad about your choices. And he'll see he's making us feel bad about ketchup. Yes, in my opinion. And this is controversial in my family.

He says, but you should not eat ketchup after the age of eight. Now, I do feel that that is quite specific. And I feel like Barack, let's get you in some therapy because something happened when you're ate. And we need to unpack this. But, you know, that's not for us to do. Yeah. But he really didn't bud. She really is anti-chup.

Now, here's the thing. I, you know, I'm anti-chup on a hot dog, for sure. Yeah. I do judge a chupp head. I'm not saying I judge someone that just has some chup that enjoys a chup. I maybe it's specifically because of Holden McNeely, but watching him and you know, I've said this. I'm grossed up, by the way he eats. And it has poured over on the food of ketchup.

Yes. But he also, MJ, pours pores. Oh, I know. Ketchup. I saw it. All over everything. I've been to the McDonald's with him. I know.

And he's got ketchup all over his fingers. He's sucking the ketchup all over. Like he has to have as much ketchup. And it's like, it's not enough of a food. If it's not dripping in ketchup. And I know that not all chup heads are like holding. And I shouldn't judge them the same.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I, uh, this is, yeah, I went way to, my brain, um, I have, you know, I had a political podcast for really a long time. So, like, I, my relationship with Barack Obama is so complex. And I love so many things about him. And there's also, you know, some stuff where I felt frustrated with him.

And then he was just like, don't eat cat. It's childish to eat ketchup. I was just like, man, leave it. What? Like, you know, like, and there was also, there was what it was, there was just, I think it was them. They were also talking about, like, they were doing a parent. They were talking about parenting stuff in a way that I was like, well, must be nice for you guys to be the perfect parents, you know.

I don't know. I hear there's a lot of problems in their marriage, MJ. So don't, you know, don't believe everything you're reading. Yeah, I don't. I mean, I, you know, I understand where he's coming from on this. But I think an artisanal fry goes good with a classic ketchup. You're right. But I will also say someone in the comments does say he's from Chicago.

Only children put ketchup on hot dogs. Now, I do wonder if it is. That's fair. That's fair. That's fair. The Chicago dog does not have chupp on it. Which I'm with you. And I completely understand. understand that. So I do wonder if it maybe

came from that. And I also do love that Michelle does come back at him. He's the only one in the family that feels this way. Don't worry. We still love ketchup and we all still liberally use it. Michelle's like image control. Don't worry. We're still completely relatable. But my problem is

I don't even have chup in the house. And then I get sometimes, you know, if I'm serving something that oftentimes people will eat with a chup, people expect me to have chup. And then I'm like, oh my God, then I'm the bad hostess because I don't have a chop. Jack, it's not going to go bad. Just get a chop and throw it.

I mean, the problem is you got such a tiny fridge. I mean, you got to have. I can't have just random condiments. You know condiments run in my veins. That is what the president of this hot dog and sausage council said about me. I have so many condiments in my fridge. The president of the United States doesn't run in his veins, but the president of the southwest region of the United States, it does run in.

No, the hot dog and sausage council. Yeah, yeah. The president of the hot dog and sausage council. That's what he said about me and I'm going to get that tattooed on my great stove. You are a host. You have to have Chup in your house. I'm sorry. You love to host people.

Well, now I include packets. Now I keep packets around. Okay, there you go. So they can, because I don't want a whole thing of it because you know what, MJ? Condiments do go bad. Don't let them lie to you. Condiments do go bad. And I know that because I have brought expired condiments to LPN's fun house to make whole.

and jest. Yes. Right, right, right. Sometimes you've got to find those condies. Oh, they're hiding back there. And you say, you going into Unkey Hoden's mouth. Yeah. I'm sorry. Do you feel differently? Does it make you feel more negatively about Barack Obama than you did previously? No, no. I, this is fine. He, you know, he gets, obviously he gets a lot of completely unnecessary hate. And I'm not going to be one to put any unnecessary hated him. He's allowed to not like ketchup, just like you're allowed to not like ketchup. Thank you. Thank you. Just like Ozzy is allowed to have his own burrito at Chipotle. I really do now feel like I'm going through quite an Ozzy experience. I don't know if I need to

go rewatch the Osbournes. I'm feeling quite a connection with him right now. And watching the... Because your dad's funeral was at the exact same time as his funeral. Yes. Yes. And also maybe, you know, we played mama I'm coming home like 20 million times and also changes 20 million times. But like that's how, you know, it's just a different, it's a different kind of grief that like I look at my dad and like I know my dad's never going to get his own burrito at Chipotle, which is what they are now discussing for Ozzie. Because apparently Ozzy Osbourne and we got to tell Holden, Chipotle was his favorite burrito chain. He loved Chipotle. He was the first celebrity card recipient of Chipotle. See, this is what people are allowed to have annoying opinions about food because I know that some people are really anti-chipoli and for fine reasons, you know, it has to do with who owns them.

And like, you know, there's all sorts of good reasons to not be, you know, I went to college with a Mexican kid who called it the white man's burrito, which always plays in my head whenever I'm going to Chipotle. So, like, I, you know, I, plenty of good reasons to hate on Chipotle. But as we talk about this all time, we love, I like a chain restaurant. I love an outback steakhouse. I love an apple bees. I love an olive garden, you know. And I feel like Chipotle is the bridge between a fast food, you know, like a McDonald's level. It's like a little nicer than that, but it's a little bit of a step down from like an outback.

And I fucking love it. I'm sorry. I like Chipotle, you know. And so I think everyone's allowed to have their apologetic opinions about food. And I think it's very sweet that Ozzy loved Chipotle so much. I think that's fun. I want to know what his, I'm looking through this article, like, what would the burrito be? Like, what was his order?

But they don't tell us. I don't know. All I know is that Sharon said that he would eat, like, he never could eat one burrito. He needed to always eat multiple burritos when he would eat burritos. And I just, that's such a, I don't know why. I just think that's so cute. I think that's such a funny. Like, what are you talking about?

What do you mean multiple burritos? I can barely get through one. You're crazy. You're fucking crazy, man. There is a cute little screenshot of young Ozzy at Chipotle saying this is my favorite, my favorite, favorite, favorite, favorite, favorite burrito joint is this. Which, yeah, you know, I feel like when it comes to, you know, honestly, ketchup and burritos, it's like you can have your Heinz. And then sometimes you go to a place that has like home house made ketchup. And honestly, I don't like that.

I'd rather have the trash. And I feel like... You know why it doesn't have as much sugar. Yeah. Yeah, you need that sugar in your sugar sauce. It's the sugar, right. I'm not judging you. I'm saying that that is really what I feel.

It's like in the same way that like when the restaurant food is better, it's like, oh, it's because it's filled with butter. And it's because it's filled. It's like it's way more than you usually cook with. But of course, it's like house made. It's like it's not going to have as much additive shit in it, which technically is what we're used to and what we like. Whatever. Yeah. And I feel like if Chipotle is your favorite burrito joint, that's fine.

You don't have to shame yourself, but I think if, especially you live in L.A. or somewhere where you have access to, like, you know, Mexican food that is perhaps a little bit more, you know, not a chain and whatever. I think having a favorite local burrito joint and having your favorite chain burrito joint. We have balance in our life. Of course. Well, I mean, even in Los Angeles, people, like, I get shit a lot because you know I talk about on Jackin, on Fridays after Jackin, I always go to Taco Bell. And people are like, you live in SoCal. How? Because I'm like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.

Taco Bell, Chipotle, all that shit. It is separate. That's its own thing. I refer to it as fake Mexican food. He said, do you want real Mexican or do you want fake Mexican? And they are too separate ideas. Don't worry. I live in Southern California.

I know what real Mexican food is. tonight I want to I'm eating real good Don't you worry about me Right But also Taco Bell I mean man They're coming out

With some new shit Very soon And I'm very excited about it They're really working on their desserts But I'm not getting any closer to live Moss live MJ I need to be talking about it more

I need to be doing more than just eating it once a week And I don't know What else is there You know I need to be living moss And I'm living Menos right now

You're living menos. You've been going through two, two, maas, you know. Two moss. Maybe that's the problem. I've been living two moss. And that's my issue. You need a little menos right now. Take it, take a manos back now, y'all.

Live menos. Live, you know. No. I don't want to. It's Leo season, MJ. Okay, we'll give yourself a little bit of time to emotionally recover from the hate emotional recovery. And then you can.

No. I'm going to watch the Osbournes. I'm going to watch the fucking Osbournes and then it's all going to be fine. It's just like I healed. Yes. Well, Jojo's in her healing era. She's in her healing. I just also can't believe there's only four seasons of the Osbournes because I feel like I watched the Osbournes. Yes, dude. I feel like we watched it for a hundred million years. Yes. I think time, that was a time in our, I think when you're young, each year lasts a lifetime. Yeah, it does. And now each year as a blink. Each year is blank. But I'm just trying to see. I was like, oh, is it because? there's like a thousand episodes per season, but all right, first episode's only 10. Second season is only 10. Second season is 20 and then 10. Yeah, there's not a lot. All right, I'm watching it.

That's what I'm doing. Leo season, who's joining me? Leo season, Osborne, watch. Watch Osbournes. Yeah, that'll be nice. I mean, it's not where everybody knows your name. Oh, my God. Yeah.

You want to recreate the looks on hunting lives. I want to recreate the looks on season one of Cheers. is specifically Ted Danson. Gideon just keeps being like every episode, Gideon's like, what is Shelley Long wearing? Oh, yeah. It's so weird. Different time. Different time.

To have the sexy woman character be wearing the most dorky blouses I've ever seen in my life. But also, isn't that interesting, MJ? Isn't it interesting how the difference of what a sex symbol was, like in a show represented on media, that like, isn't it interesting? that she was just wearing what other people were wearing at the time. Oh, no, it's great. It's like weird shit. It's a delight. And she's a great like, yeah, I mean,

Shelly Long's character is so wonderful. It's really like at first. God, what a character. So what a character. She's so funny. My mom saw her at Second City. I was telling my mom to watch Cheers and she was like, oh, I remember Shelly Long from Second City, like seeing her back in the day.

Oh, yeah, see TV. Yeah. But, uh, she's just like, oh my God. It's like, it's like, it's like, um, the character of Diane and Cheers. think what like was the prototype of like what jesse spanow on saved by the bell forgive me i know this is a clumsy but like you know the kind of like she's like a self-righteous she's a self-righteous feminist but what shelley long does it so brilliantly because she's so in on it and she's so funny and she's like not obnoxious like the way that jesse spanow like you weren't really ever supposed

to really like jesse spano it was like frustrating because she's pointing out sexism correctly but you're also supposed to hate her you know i'm say by the well, whereas, or you're not supposed to hate her, but you're supposed to be like, oh, she's so annoying, you know, whereas on cheers, it's like Diane is pointing out sexism correctly, and you're kind of rolling your eyes on her, but you also love her, you know? Right. And also, like, there is, like, a bit of a bite back that I feel like really, and now I can't speak for other shows at the time period, but, like, I would assume there wasn't a lot, like, I feel like, I know it's very different time periods, but it's like,

I feel like in the same time that I would watch, like, a, a. Cheers was also when you were still getting the like honeymooners like, pow, zoom to the moon, Alice, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like that it is. No, it's so, yes, and it feels, even though Cheers started in the early 80s, I know, we could do a whole other episode on Cheers. I know. We're going to at some point.

Please. Maybe a bonus episode. It's like, it started in the early 80s, but it feels so old fashioned in so many ways. I used to watch a lot of those earlier 60s and 70s sitcoms on Nick at night. I love the honeymooners. I love Bob Newhart and all. those. And that feels, especially all of coaches jokes, it feels like, you know, really old fashion, really old-timey, but then also it's the 80s. And so that, but then you're right. It's like

you're, we're segueing out of the old fashion. The wife is always, you know, this extremely one-dimensional character. Um, uh, or the writing for the way. Obviously, a lot of those women were fantastic. But like, you know, I just feel like watching, I don't know. I guess now I'm like, now I want to watch. I love, I want to rewatch. I love Lucy. Because I know, she's a really different. There's a different presentation of the wife character in that. But yeah, I loved the honeymooners. But it is bad that the joke was always just, I'm going to punch my wife. I'm going to punch you so hard.

You're going to go to outer space, bitch. Isn't that great? Oh, husbands. And then cheers Ted Dancin just keeps being like, fuck me, please. And Diane's like, no. No, not going to. And he's like, shit. You know, but somehow it just works.

It works. It just works. We love an enemies to lovers. We love it. Oh my God. If you are like in a rut in life. I'm telling you, bro, I'm so happy for you. I knew you needed cheers.

It's fucking awesome. I'm so glad I'm watching Cheers. I'm so glad I'm watching. You're making me want to watch it again. I tell everyone I know. Watch cheers. Making your way in the world today. Thanks everything you've got.

They're going to break from all your worries. Sure would help a lot. Wouldn't you like to get away? Yes, I would. I just want to get away. Oh, my God. We need cheers. And I guess we got to get away.

We got to get away. We got to get out of here. We got to get out of here. I guess we're watching a lot of shows this week, guys. Maybe we need a little bit of Osbournes. Maybe we need to, you know, sprinkle a little bit of cheers in there. I don't know what you need. Maybe you need to go laugh at a CGI baby, but I will say I did even, I did cry.

it fantastic four and I'm not proud of myself. But baby I got a lot of feelings, okay? Yeah, I'll bet. I'll bet you're not the only one who cried. No. Living Manos is difficult. Thank you everybody for joining us on this week's episode of Second Helpings. I just want to say thank you. I feel more present than I was on this week's page seven episodes. So thank you all for giving me space, giving me grace, but also for hanging out with us over on the page 7 Patreon, man. We are just ripping through Sookie Stackhouse book two.

It is a lot more of a mystery. Oh my God, MJ, every week. It's like, honestly, it is now at Buffy levels of, oh, I just want to keep reading. Oh, I just want to keep reading. Oh, okay. It's really good. The second book really starts to amp it up

and Buffy's really killing it over on Tuesdays. We're having a blast and we are, man, come listen to us, complain most likely, about Gwyneth Paltrow on celebrities next week. Because I think we're going to have a lot to get out. It's going to be great. And it's good. It's a long book too.

So we're going to learn a lot. I mean, it's going to be illuminating about like Ben Affleck and Brad Pitt. I can't listen to the whole thing this week though. I'm going to say this on Mike. I will not be listening to the whole thing. No, we need to spend a lot of time on how she was the most annoying girl in her private school. Do you know how.

country you have to be to be the meanest girl in private school in Manhattan. And we'll be talking about it on next week's celebrities. Thank you everybody for hanging out with us today. We'll be back on Beach 7 with a newly Los Angelinoed Jake Young next week. So we're very excited about that. We'll have a new new baby in the family. And I'm not talking about a CGI one. I'm talking about a real one. And he's a full grown man. But I don't know what kind of diaper he wears. We haven't. asked him yet. Thank you so much, MJ. MJ, do you need to plug anything? You know, patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. Join us over there. You can email us at page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Thank you guys all for your really sweet emails. We've gotten a lot of emails about Pamela Anderson.

My God. Some about Katie Perry and Justin Trudeau. A lot about people their love of cold play, Pedro Pascal, everything. We got everything over there. So thank you for emailing us. Thank you guys for listening to the show. It means so much to us. We love you guys, and we will see you next Thursday.

Sometimes you gotta go where everybody knows your name. And they're always glad you gave. Yes, this is our ending. You want to we where you can. We, you want to see where you can see. Our troubles are all the same. You're pissing on the bar. You want to be where everybody knows your name.

This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.