Page 7 - Second Helpings - Are You A Teenager?

Episode Date: May 8, 2026

This week on Second Helpings, MJ and Jackie long for another Jake appearance, talk of traveling together on past tours, some "Desperate Housewives" chat, and then some "Buffy" talk, with SPOILERS. MJ brings news of a real life fake teen busted in a high school that's a much sadder version of "Never Been Kissed", Jackie started "Widow's Bay" and looooves it. It's Geoff's birthday week (happy birthday!!) and they've been to the movies 3x this week, which has got Jackie questionin' if she's broken (like a promise) FOREVER because they had to hold their laughter back during "Deep Waters" more.....questionable scenes, and they also saw Hokum and it was great! The trailer dropped for Nolan's "The Odyssey", there's a new Mr. Fantasy video as he gets ready to release an entire album, and "The Bear" released an episode focused just on Cousin, and so much more on this weeks "Second Helpings"! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's going to be. Although, I don't know. Without Jake, it really is. It's lonelier here without him. It is hard to beat Jake. It is hard to not spend time with Jake. Now that I spend more time with Jake, I just want more and more time with Jake. I love that he's just so sweet.

He's so sweet. And he, more than literally anyone else who's ever been involved with page seven, he does so much research. He does so much research. I felt bad. We didn't even get to half the things. Because we were talking about other stuff. I mean, I know I had to break up the poodle man, but he did all this research.

There was no poodle man on the research site. It's tough because, you know, in a week with both poodle man and MetGala, it's hard to fit in all the other articles. But Jake, he does all of his own independent research. And then he goes to his lovely partner. And then he talks everything through with her and gets her great perspective.

And then he comes to us with like a synthesized, like thesis statement and point of view an analysis about every article and I'm like, bruh, this is great. I love it. And also the fact that we went on tour with Wizard and the Bruiser, too, we got to know a side of Jake that is just so wonderful. And he's great to travel with. I know now we're just, what is the whole second helpings? He's just talking about how great Jake is. Maybe it is.

It's a Jake Appreciation Day. You know, he'll... Jake Appreciation Day. All right, he would feel so nice. Reach out to Jake today. Let him know how much you love him. Yes, please. Reach out. If he's in a city, even for an afternoon, He's going to go find something fun to do. I love it too because he is the kind of person that you travel with. You know, you really get to know somebody when you're traveling with them. You're thinking about Holden?

And maybe I'm thinking about Holden. Maybe I was just saying to MJ, you know, tomorrow's going to be a difficult travel day for me, but at least I'm not traveling with Holden. And it's just because, honestly, it's because of the things that he likes to say loudly to make me upset. to get attention. It's also the fights he gets him with the TSA agents. And I don't think it's crazy for me to say that I don't want to go to, and Holden knows this. I'd say it to his face. Oh, yeah. Let him show up right now. He knows I don't want to travel with him. We're not gossiping about Holden because he knows all of this and Jackie has said it to him. But also, the funniest thing about Jackie and Holden traveling together. Because mind you, I was always coming from New York.

They were always coming from L.A. together. So they always had the same flight there, same flight home, no matter where we were going. And Jackie and Holden are, you guys are just... Pip and pop. Yeah. Oriented towards the world in such different ways that your friendship is really... It's a really nice way of saying. Like, you...

And I'm not even talking about, like, not people please are... Is that when a grad school degree gives you? It just helps you say difficult things. Like, with a really nice finesse. Strengths space. You're both horrible, but in very different ways. Both nightmares to travel with, but on different opposites and ends of the spectrum. Which is surprising.

I know I'm no easy person to travel with. But it's a strength-based approach, Jackie. You both have growth areas. Thank you. But when you travel, you love to be exceedingly polite and kind to people. And that enrages Holden. God, it enrages him. Holden just, you know, he's not a rude person in general, but at the airport where everything

sucks, he thinks he has a kind of past to be rude. And rudeness offends you. on a cellular level. And your politeness offends him on a cellular level. So you're just bashing against each other. Rood versus polite. Who will win? Who will win?

And how often is it just me walking like 10 feet in front of him trying to walk faster as he loudly complains behind me? And everyone thinks we're married. And I'm just like, no, this wedding ring, I don't belong to this. Don't look at me. I don't own this. I'm not a part of this. Yeah, no.

it's more, especially when he was traveling with a Rubik's cube everywhere, and also felt like he was your adult son. Yes, it certainly was. But honestly, if that makes me the Alphrey Woodard of LPN, I'll take it. And yeah, that is the Desperate Housewives reference that you were wondering. And again, check out with Staryllaniacs over on the page. Oh, we're having fun. Bro, did you know that fucking Alphrey Woodard's son in Desperate Housewives is named Matthew, not Michael? We've been calling him Michael for a week. and a Michael the whole time. But to be fair, we have made this joke for many weeks on Wisteriolaniacs that all of the biblical male names are already confusing. And now here's the thing, though, is that MJ and I kept being like, but there's already a mic.

And now you're going to have a Michael, but it's not. There wasn't Michael. His name is Matthew. We've been complaining about the mic. There's two mics and there's not. There's a Matthew on a mic. But this has been many weeks. And I think that this was the first episode in a one.

where they even said his name and then everyone was able to tell. So to be fair, again, in our defense, there is a racist lack of character development happening with the Elfrey Woodard household in season two of Desperate Housewives. And so our many questions about the characters are rooted in the lack of investment in the writing of the characters. And this is all analysis you will get over at Wisteria Laniacs. I'm obsessed with Desperate Housewives. And no one wants to talk about it.

I already said, no one. I brought it up at work the other day and I said, have you seen desperate housewives? And they said, no. And I said, why? Are you asking old enough people? 100%. See, I feel like I've been asking younger people and then they're all looking at me like I'm insane. And then I asked a friend of mine that was my age.

And she's like, wait, do you mean real housewives? And I was like, no, I mean desperate housewives. And she's like, oh, I watch the hell out of that. I feel like you find secret pockets of it, but because it's not in the zeitguise right now. And hasn't been for 20 years. We are the floor of the age range of people who know Desperate Housewives. I don't think is what it is younger. But we're bringing it to people then.

We're reminding people that exist because it is, God, it's great. I mean, it's problematic. Very problematic. A lot of the, but not as. problematic as it could be. Yeah. Yeah. Every so hot.

I feel like we're having almost like a Buffy, like feeling about it where if anything, in watching Buffy, you know that they were trying to not offend people. For sure. We're trying to show more things, you know, actually show gay characters that were in love with each other. But even they had to fight to have a gay kiss on the show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I just think about that, man, I think about the Thanksgiving episode when Willow just kept being like, I think that we should talk about the history of Thanksgiving instead.

Yeah. And there was a whole episode on, you know, the genocide that Thanksgiving is based on. And that was at a time period when no one was talking about that. Yeah. That's the thing. Like, I really do enjoy the project that you and I have gone on over the years of page seven of like going back and revisiting these like big pop cultural phenomena. many years later, because it is like we've been, for the last 10 years, I think the way that we talk about culture now has been, you know, mindful in a way that then is like, pisses people off

and all sorts of different ways. But like, and we know that it's like, we are mindful now because of how not mindful we were for so long, which is why it then is interesting to go back to a artifact from 2001 and be like, oh, they were, they were talking about Thanksgiving in this, or Desperate Housewives and Artifact from 2005. And it's, like, yeah, they really are not going to talk about gay people or black people, but they are trying to do some interesting things talking about like women and motherhood and like domestic labor. And so you're like, there's some interesting things happening at this period of time and also lots of failures. But we're still having a romp. We're having a romp.

Speaking of the opposite of a romp, this is going to be a spoiler for anyone that is not in the place of Buffy that we're at. I'm not going past what's already been put out. I just needed to talk to you because we'd have no other forum to talk about this just at least to catch up with Buffy, MJ. Did you see all of the comments? And I want to say thank you so much to our Patreon because all of this unleashed so much understanding that. Okay, guys, it's a spoiler alert for the end of season six, beginning of season seven. So you think that, like, remember we were so confused because it's like, oh, but he got his soul back. Yeah.

He, Spike goes and asks for what Buffy deserves. And he thinks that it is going, like him being like turned back into like having the chip removed at like being the full vampire self. But what it is and what Buffy deserves is a person with a soul that loves her. And that that so it's like, but then that's also huge for loving Spike because he didn't choose. to get the soul back. Wow. He went for, so that also, the web that they weave. Wow.

And I have a lot of spike feelings about this, but I just needed to talk to you about it just for a second. No, this is good. And if you're not a Buffy fan, maybe you're a K-pop Demon Hunters fan, because I do feel like a similar dynamic goes on with the romantic relationship in K. Pop Demon Hunters. There's also like a, I don't have a soul. You gave my soul back to me. situation going on in K-pop demon hunters.

So Buffy walked so that K-pop demon hunters could run. And if that pisses you off as a Buffy fan, I'm sorry. Oh, stab, stab, stab all the vampires. Please do a full golden, but also take those demons away, put it some vampires. All right. Now, I know that we have a lot of pop culture news to catch up on because, again, last episode we did mostly talk about Poodle Man and your Scrabble game and the MetGala outfits. I'm sorry, yeah, all the important things that happened this week. Thank you.

All of the important things that happened this week. But I just need to highlight because we are, we specialize here in millennial nostalgia. I saw a headline yesterday. New York local news. 28-year-old woman accused of posing as a teen to enroll in Bronx school. And you might say, MJ, this isn't side stories. Why are we talking about random funny news stories? Well, has anyone heard of never been kissed? What? Because this is the plotline of Never Been Killed, but it's sadder. Oh, my God. Why is she? Do you know why she's never been kissing? I think that the key difference in the plotline of Never Been Kist is that Never Been Kist actually is maybe

more disturbing because you might remember in Never Been Kist, Drew Barrymore. She bangs, or she doesn't bang, she just wants to bang the teacher. And he wants to bang her back. And he wants to bang? And that's complicated. But he's the guy from 24. it's fine. And he is hot. Talk about revisiting artifacts from a different time period. The fact that that movie is based on him being like, I want to bang you so bad, but you're a high schooler. And then

the relief is that she's actually not a high schooler. She's an adult. And so finally, finally. And now I can bang you. Thank God. So that's the plot have never been kissed. But this woman is 28. She enrolled in a Bronx high school. And she was confronted by the principal who saw a Facebook post with her with a birthday of the year 1997. And he went up to her and he said, is this you? And she was like, no, I'm, no, no. First he just went up to her without the Facebook picture.

He just went up to her and was like, hey, are you a teenager? And she's like, yes, I'm 16. Are you a teenager? Great question to ask a high schooler. Can I check under the hood or something? I feel like, do you need an oil change? Just imagine being a high school principal and being like, I guess I'm going to walk up to this high school student and confirm that they're a teenager.

So, Principal goes up to the teenager and is like, are you a teenager? And she's like, yeah, for sure. I'm 16 and my name is so-and-so. And he's like, what about this Facebook post that I saw that says that you were born in your 1997? And she immediately is like, you're right. I'm not a teenager.

I'm 28. Oh, what is she going to do? At least I thought that you were going to be like, and how did they find out? Like, I think it's just because of the Buffy episode we just watched that I was worried about how they found out that a 28-year-old was a teenager? No, it wasn't anything untoward. It was, and so it seems like this is a developing story. It seems like it was a benefits scam.

I know, and it's actually really, it is genuinely very sad, that she was trying to help her friend receive more public assistance in her lying about it. So she had to go through with the lie to get the public assistance. She needed to go to school to prove that she was real. Like a dependent or whatever. but can you imagine being 28 going back to high school? No, no, it's hard enough. A friend of mine is a sub and she was proctoring an AP lit exam at like 630 in the morning.

And I was like, I was like, I have to wake up at 6.30 in the morning to watch desperate housewives. And that makes me feel crazy. I can't imagine, even though I'm not 28. I'm, you know, add a decade on that. But even then, add a decade on that. Can you imagine having to go back into like, it makes me think of me think of, mean girls, like when she starts seeing everyone acting like they're on safari, like, because she was, I mean, which is, you know.

Yeah, again. You know, it's not great. It's not perfect. But I'm just thinking more of the idea of just like the animalistic of like everyone being in, like, in a jungle together. It is, yeah. I mean, school is just, and I love, I'm a person who loves being in schools. But it's like, yeah, there's just, I love being in schools as an adult, like in a,

in the role of a loving adult. Whoa. I will say the parallels of Buffy becoming a grad, like becoming a counselor, as M.J is graduating from grad school to become a counselor. It's weird. And I'm just like, MJ, is that you? MJ, is that you? Is that what you do, MJ? We are at a place in Buffy in season seven where Buffy just gets kind of anointed to be a high school counselor.

And I keep being like, well, she didn't even go to master. You didn't get a degree. You know, and I need to let that go. but she's just a counselor now and she's just chatting, you know, and she's got all the inspirational posters in her office and everything. And it's nice. I feel represented. Yeah. I'm glad. And we're doing an important work out there. She's not a good counselor, but that's fine. I got to ask, how would you go about, let's say you've got a teenager, not teenager, that comes in. And it's just like, I've got to pay my bills. I mean, it's homework is hard. Well, how do you

suss out that they're 28? I was trying. I was thinking about this. I was like, I want to, well, first, the local news segments about this are so funny because they just talk to a bunch of high schoolers at the high school. And the high schools are like, what do you mean she's 28? What are you doing in high school? You're 28. You know, they're just like teenagers. They're like, why are we not checking IDs here? It's so funny. The kids are so funny. But then that was all. That's so funny. But I'm also like, God, I would kill to have a drink with the counselor and like the teachers from that school to be like, did you think she was 28? Did you think this teenager seemed real old?

You know, but you're not going to go up to a teenager. Be like, are you old? Like, you can't do that. Because I think you're old. There's no way. Can't do it. I see life all over your face. I'm a millennial.

I grew up with never been kissed. Is this, are you living the plotline of never been kissed? I also wonder, I guess you would have to not, I guess you'd have to be taking care of yourself better just because, like, I look bad in high school. But I looked worse when I was 28. I'll tell you what, there was some miles. ridden on this Cadillac. It wasn't looking good when I was 28.

Yeah, you're like sweating out whiskey every morning. Every morning. I'm just like, ugh. I'm like always out of breath. That's why I wanted to, because just imagine if you're working in a school and you're like, all the adults are like, that kid seems 28. But you can't do, what can you do with a hunch like that, you know? I guess you try to ask like, how do you pay for insurance? Like, I feel like you have to like try and ask older, although not at 28.

I feel like, no, you have insurance until you're 26 and then like all of us normals. You don't have insurance for at least 10 years after that, like a normal American. What you need to do is start singing, forgive me, 28-year-olds. We did learn we do have a lot of zoomers. When we talked about generational stuff a few weeks ago, a lot of zoomers sounded off. 28-year-olds, what cultural reference would you make to identify the hidden 28-year-old at your high school? Like, would you start singing like Justin Bieber song, you know, like, an early Justin Bieber work and see if they start singing along.

You know what I mean? Or like, I think that's what you... SpongeBob SquarePants theme song, something like that. You pull a Jake and you ask about all of the songs that were hot when, like, if, like, if, like, if you're 28, right, you're born in, what, like, 1998? 1997 was what her birth year was, yeah. Or 97, yes.

I feel like you'd have to ask, like, how Jake was like, what was popular when you were 12? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, ask those questions to be like, what were you listening to in middle? school and stuff like that just to be like, because that's a difficult thing to lie about because it is such a fundamental part of your brain. I mean, I imagine lie smiths out there are probably pretty good at it, but I'm not one of them. That's what I'm saying. You're going to go up and you're going to start singing like the luda verse of baby and you're

going to see if she knows all the words, you know, you're going to start singing like Trains Hay, Soul Sisters. You're going to start singing California girls. You're going to start singing Bruno Mars. You're going to walk around going raw, ra, raw. I mean, but also do you have to go to like teen prep school? I feel like that, like, I imagine the montage of like this girl like trying to like get into a 16 year old's mindset, you know? Which Drew Barrymore did do.

Did do. Now I really want to do it never been kids. I do want to watch it never been kids. Now I want to see how upsetting is it. I want to see how upsetting is it too because God I loved that movie. And also I don't remember. I remember I had a weird like 24 playing card because all of my friends were obsessed with the show 24 and all of them and I only knew that guy from Never Been Kissed. And so I stole one of the cards from my friends that just had his face on it because I was like, he's hot and I got to have this card.

And I'm sure I have it somewhere. But I specifically remember it was like a holographic. why did they have trading cards for the show 24? I don't know. I'm not trying to call you out here, Jackie, but are you talking about the show alias or are you talking about the show 24? Oh, alias. I am talking about the show alias.

Jennifer Garner. Yes. Alias. Yeah, I'm talking about alias. I'm talking about alias. 24 came up for a different reason recently. That's probably why it's on your life. Kiefer Sutherland.

It's because we were talking about Kiefer Sutherland. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry, everybody. To my 24 heads out there, I'm sorry. I just know people were in their cars screaming. It's an alias, not 24. Also, speaking of people screaming in their cars, Homeland. It was Homeland, MJ. What were you trying to reference about Homeland?

The SS Minow. Sorry, that's a Scrooge reference, and you're never going to get that until you see Scroo. The SS Minow. But Homeland was the, when I was trying to think of the Matthew Reeves show. Oh, yeah. That wasn't the Matthew Reed show because that's the Americans. Yes. And I was like, there's another one.

Yes. We're a couple and they're also spies. Okay. You were like, no, there's not. No, you never. And I will say I did look up KGB, I think, kissing show. And yeah, it didn't come up. But it was a homeland was the show that I was talking about.

Okay, that's fine. I think that Alias 24 and Homeland are in my head. In the same universe. Yes. Absolutely. Like a product. Because one is Claire Daines and the other one is Carrie Russell. And not that I'm saying.

I can't. I'm not comparing the two. And Jennifer Garner, they are. Yeah, they're like powerful Gen X women. Powerful women. Powerful women. And they're doing security. Action.

Skies. Spies. Spies. Secrets. Adventure. Speaking of MJ, I did watch the first episode of Widows Bay. And you are. gonna want to watch it.

Matthew Rees, okay, I'm used to Matthew Rees playing like Conf, you know, I was watching like Perry Mason and I, you know, I really do like Matthew Rees in this because I watched like, I was like, how is this? Everyone keeps telling me it's so funny. It's so not

coded as a funny show. I was like, all right, let's see it. It's wonderful. Yeah. It's great. It's like, it's almost as if Matthew Rees is this he's so funny but he's like a nebish kind of character

he's like the mayor of this town where everybody else is almost living in a scary movie and he's like what are you guys talking about? What do you mean there's something in the fall? Like he's like it's,

but it's shot like it's a drama. It's very, everyone is so whip funny and it like I want to say I've never seen a show like it I feel like.

And honestly, if you're watching Widows Bay and you're like, Jackie, if you love this, use your watches. Let me know. I only watched the first episode and I am hook, line and sinker, the character acting. Because also, I mean, you got like Stephen Root and all these other, like, everyone's playing amazing characters. Yeah. And I am genuinely laughing.

And as someone that, I think when last time Severance came around, I've been paying for Apple TV ever since, which is why I'm talking. about Margo's got money troubles, why I'm talking about Widows Bay. You got to get your money's worth. I got to get my money's worth. I got to get him out while I'm paying for him. So I'm just saying for everyone else, if you're not currently paying for Apple TV, when it comes, when you start paying for it again, you should totally watch Widows Bay. Okay. But it is, as someone that is a character actress, I just love watching a bunch of people doing character acting where they're all shining in different ways. Yeah, yeah. And I love

like the idea of like a comedy with like the aesthetic of like a murder, like a darker kind of like mystery show is really, I like that. I like that idea. Can I confess something to you, MJ? Please. I'm worried that I'm broken. Uh-oh. Like forever broken. Okay. Well, you've been worried about that for a long time.

Yeah, I mean, I definitely, I mean, you know, neurodivergers, I'm not talking about any. I'm not even talking about that. I'm talking about the concept of me taking in movies. I have gone to see in this last week because it's Jeff's birthday. And what does he love? He loves going to the movies. And we have been to the movies three times in the last week. Fun.

Which has been wonderful. I'm starting to worry that I am like, I feel like we're talking about the Issa Brioanis, talking about people like being inside and like, because if you guys remember, we're talking about she's on Broadway and people are screaming from the audience. Like, did you finish your charts? as she's performing on Broadway because of the pit. And I went to go see, and I know you guys heard me talk about, let me taste them, see what them pigies taste like with Lee Crotid's The Mummy.

And we had watched, like, we'd also watched, it's not Aqualong, it's Iron Lung. We also watched Iron Lung. And then last water, not this week in, this is just one of the experiences I've had recently. Okay. And then last night, we watched the movie, D.E. water. Now, deep water is made by the same person that made deep blue sea. I was going to say, weren't we just talking about deep blue sea with Jake, maybe before we even started recording? We were talking about deep blue sea. And then randomly, we saw that this movie was up and I was

like, ah, it's a shark movie. I love a shark movie. It had great reviews. Then we found out it was the guy that did deep blue sea. I was like, well, this motherfucker knows sharks. So I'm going to go see this movie. Yeah, Ben Kingsley is there. Great. Ben Kingsley. Aaron Eckhart is there, which also, where's Aaron Eckhart been? And also, what happened to him? He really doesn't know, like, he only knows how to grimace now. But deep water is about a plane crash in the ocean. And it, like, as it's, like, landing on the ocean, it gets wrecked open by a coral reef. So it's about, like, being out in deep water. And there's a bunch of sharks. And I will say it was so funnily, poorly written that we laughed the entire movie.

But we had to laugh kind of silently because while at moments, people were also laughing, we were getting the strict impression that people were watching this as a genuine action movie. And here's the thing, it was a genuine action movie. We did have a blast. but my stomach like was broken I was laughing so hard like it was just so so overdramatic so fucking stupid and I loved it I loved it I loved it I love stupid action movies but nobody was laughing and it was solid Cronin's the mummy and I also I wanted to throw up I was laughing so hard and no one was laughing yeah and I'm just like am I broken but these are such over the stuff but It's like, I'm not doing it too upset other people. I'm not like trying to be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, I'm not like the other girls. I take things differently.

It's like I'm genuinely laughing. And then I feel weird and ashamed about it. So I'm trying to like hold it in, which of course in turn makes it funnier. And I think that it's like the whole experience. But I love the experience. But then I do look around and I'm like, why isn't everybody laughing at this? Is Jeff laughing? Yes.

Okay. The people who were there with, we're all laughing. Yeah. There's some other people laughing. So it's not like, and in all of these movies, also some other people laughing. Yeah. But I was like, when you have 73% audience score, 76% like, or does 73% Rotten Tomato score, 76% audience score, are those people that are liking it because they think it's so

bad that it's funny? Or are those people that genuinely think that the movie is good? Right, right, right. And again, to reference our previous conversation. about your politeness, like, despite how we all acted when we saw cats in the theater, you are very mindful about not impacting anyone else's movie-going experience. I don't want to ruin their movie experience. Yeah, Cats was not because in cats, it was very clear that everyone in the theater was

slowly realizing they were inside a nightmare. And that just, it was unambiguously, like, it was a very unifying experience. Except for the old women, because I was in Palm Harbor, Florida, and there were old women that were like, how dare you ruin this music? musical experience for us and shate waggle the finger at jeff i'll never forget especially you think i don't want to displease people oh my god the look on jeff's face yeah yeah he wasn't even the one being obnoxious i was jeff would never offend old ladies on purpose no ever no he was so ashamed and it was me it wasn't even him yeah yeah whereas me at holden's viewing experience it was like everyone it was y'all oh yeah

It was us being offensive, but everyone in the whole audience was, you know, on board. But what you're describing, yeah, I'm with you. I mean, I wonder, I wonder. I mean, you obviously, you and you and the people you're attending the movies with have an orientation towards the world where you want to find the humor in things. And maybe the rest of the people are having an orientation towards the world where they want to find the sharks and that's it, you know? Yeah, maybe it is. Because like we also saw, we saw Hocum over the weekend, too. which was awesome.

And it was really great. I will say, talk about staring at another face. Sorry to talk about another person's face descriptor. But Adam Scott, ease off. You look like a goddamn couch cushion. You got to stop. You can't move your... Like, it is just so overfilled.

And it makes me so sad that I'm just like, you're a great actor, and you're in this whole movie, and there's just so much of your big face, and you can't use any of it. Why is he doing that? His face is what makes him. He's a very attractive person. I don't, I mean, we know that that kind of, it's beauty standards.

It really has nothing to do with being attractive or not being attractive. It's how he feels about himself. And that's also part of it that I just kept thinking of it. But Hocom was great and was genuinely scary. Okay. We had a lot of fun with Hocom. Yeah. Yeah.

A lot of side by, not for you. A lot of side by side. A lot of jump scares. Because you don't like jump scares, right? I'm fine with a jump scare. Okay, it's Gideon that doesn't like jumps scares. Yeah, Gideon doesn't like jump scares. I don't like...

It's unpredictable what I won't like. I don't like hereditary. That's... Whatever hereditary is, I don't like that. Then you're not going to like, you're not going to like Damien McCarthy. I don't think because he also, for those that are in the horror world, he also did caveat and oddity, which are... It's haunted.

He makes haunting. stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I love Midsamar, but I just, yeah, I don't like the, like, incredibly disturbing stuff. Sorry, I'm just like... That's why Widows Bay is going to be perfect for you. And it's funny. And their episodes are not that long. Great. I love that. And now I just keep looking at pictures at side by side to Adam Scott and how much his face has changed. It's true. I did think during severance. I was like, you look different, Adam Scott. It's, and I felt like it was like a slower descent, but then in Hocum, I think it is just because, and it's not. fair. It's because you're looking at a movie screen and when you are most of the movie, it's just a

huge screen of your big pillow face. And I'm just like, oh my God, I don't even know if you're scared. Are you upset about this? And he's also such a bastard in the movie, like such a, to a point that I will say people were laughing at that because he's

such a bastard in it. But like just verbally, like he's just like a sour guy. And so we We all laughed at that. I just love the communal experience of a movie theater. And I'm not trying to laugh to other people. Yeah.

Yeah, I trust that you are not. I really, again, I've spent enough time with you in public. I don't think that you are being rude at the movie theater if you're silently laughing until your stomach hurts. I think you're allowed to have that reaction. Thank you. And can I just circle back to the alias conversation we were having earlier? I think that being attracted to Michael Varton for me was very 16. I think that is very never been kissed because looking at this person now and I'm like,

and you stole a trading card of this? Really? I'm talking to myself. I had the opposite reaction when I just looked him up just now to figure out whether he was in 24 or alias. I was like, wow, still would. I'm really glad that you caught that because I feel like a lot of, there's a lot of real lovers of both 24 and alias out there that I feel like we'd get God.

Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. We would certainly get God. Also, that's the thing. is because no one was ever talking about Michael Varton that I knew of, everyone that I knew, wanted to kiss Jennifer Garner. So I think it was so busy talking about that. And that's also why I stole the fucking playing card. So if you don't want to kiss him, well, then I'm going to kiss the playing card instead.

And he's retired. And I love it when an actor just kind of bows out. Hell yeah. Is it because of the never been kissed about it? Is that what he was like, I think I peaked there. I peaked a teacher banging wanting to bang a high schooler. Yeah. He's like, I'm never going to be able to be able to.

recover from that. Yeah, no, he just, like, got married in 2010 and now he's divorced, but he just kind of bowed out of public life. And he did date. Sometimes he got to. He dated Jennifer Garner during alias. Whoa. Go for him. Allegedly. Couldn't keep her, though, could you? She's too good for you. I love, I put Jennifer Garner up on a pedestal. Yeah. I love Jennifer Garner, and I think that she deserves a goddamn world. Yeah. Yeah. Can I also throw it out there? Have you seen the trailer at all for The Odyssey yet? No. They are

doing, oh, they are doing the Odyssey. The Odyssey is in like the, the, the epic. Oh, we're talking, oh, ODICISIS. Yes, we are. We are. And Christopher Nolan is doing it. And can I just say, it's so funny because I've had multiple, and I'm going to say this, I apologize.

I'm going to say multiple boys in my life. that have been like, have you seen the show for an Odyssey? And I'm just like, oh. And then I watch it. And I'm like, this is, this looks epic. Wow, it looks big. The cast list is epic. Elliot Taze, like Dea, Matt Damon, Tom Holland, Robert Pattinson, and Haphaway,

Charlize Throne, John Berthall, and Mia Gauth. What the fuck? Oh, yeah. It's going to be, I mean, it's, like, they're doing the Odyssey, the way the Odyssey, it seems, is supposed to be. Homer would want it, right? Homer would want it this way. And it really, I know that like the phrase boy porn is probably like, like, reductive or, you know, I just feel like that redundant, excuse me. Well, redundant would mean boy born is to say the same thing twice, but that's what I mean. I just feel, I feel like it is where it's like when I refer to porn, I'm usually referring to things of the male gays.

And so like in my brain, this is, it's all wrapped in one. Okay, yes. Boy born in that way is redundant. You're right. Because, like, I really could feel the collective erections in the movie house that I was watching the trailer where they're all like, oh, it's so epic. It's so epic. But I love this for that. Like, I love it for that.

I'm happy that they have the Jack Reachers. I'm happy you have the Odyssey and I will go see it. And I'm probably going to enjoy it. I mean, this scene, what you're describing sounds like the phenomenes. the TikTok thing of like the Roman Empire thing, you know, like boys, boys want one thing and it's to think about the Roman Empire. Yes. And then on the flip side of how like people were reacting about the devil wears Prada and if you were societally raised as a woman and how like girls want one thing. They want one thing and it's that.

And boys want another thing and it's that. And it is so funny that where it is still kind of where it's like it, I do feel and I like Christopher Dolan movies, but I do feel that they are. are made strictly for the male gaze. I think that is 100% fair and true. And I'm saying this as someone that has watched multiple Christopher Nolan movies and have no idea what they're about. If you want to ask me about Tenet, you can. Oh, God, Tenet.

I know that I saw it. And he is a brilliant, and you know, there's the Inceptions. You know, it's like, there's a, like, he's a brilliant artist. Yeah. I just know that I, like, I, like, as I'm watching the Odyssey trailer, all I can think about is, man, I'm going to smoke a big old blunt before I watched that movie. I'm going to smoke an epic size joint. That's what I'm going to need.

And I'm going to let it wash over me. Yeah, that's how I consume Christopher Nolan movies as well. Like, I'll enjoy it. In the movie, you're usually too, if you're able to. Yeah, yeah. Dark Night was great. Yeah, I haven't seen all of his work. But, yeah.

It's like Dunkirk. Like Dunkirk is an amazing movie. You know, it really. But again, it's... Yeah. Memento is a great movie. And the way that I used Memento, speaking of male gays, is to just curry favor with boys, you know, because boys love Memento so much.

You want to talk about Memento? Let's talk about Memento. It is, yeah, he makes, obviously we are being reductive here, like women like these movies, too. But I completely understand what you're saying. He makes... It's like when we were talking about animorphs and we called them boy books. Some people were like, they weren't. just for boys and it's like no they weren't but they were coded like like yeah the way that we

perceived about them like I feel like that's how we were like that's how we talked about them like it's like no they weren't for girls they were for boys and I I feel that like every you know I think any of us that were raised in this time period had our different things of like oh they say that this is for boys but I but I really like and like the weird like shame that came about this and I know that we experience a lot. We talk about this a lot when we do like our rewinds and stuff like that and going back through. But you're right. Movies like Memento are really, I remember watching them young and just being like,

I can talk about big movies. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's interesting and it's different and he doesn't remember and you don't remember, you know? What if you don't remember? Yeah, like I just feel like there was the experience of being attracted to boys as a young person was like, my approach, because I wasn't good at the other things of like signaling heterosexual girl. And so my strategy was like, what if I signal a person who can talk about heterosexual boy thinks? And now that might sound like I'm not like other girls.

Or what if you're funny, you know, if you could just be funny, then you really can just get through everything. And it does sound like I was a not like the other girl's girl. But in fact, I have seen this described online. There is the not like the other girls to trans mask pipeline. And so it's true. I was not like that girls because I was not. Because you were not. And I love this for you.

And you're, I love the journey that you're able to go on. I love that we're able to like to explore these things now and be able to look back of. And I'm so, you know, I'm just excited for young people that it's different. That is at least describe differently. Okay. But question.

This is another thing that is, are you talking about elegant heterosexuality? I'm sorry. talk about heterosexuality. But we've been using the phrase Girls Girl here on the podcast. This is like, I think, a zoomerism that I think is actually really fun and helpful.

But I have also now heard kids when I'm around the kids. I have heard them. Oh my God, you're our key into the youth lingo. Now I know what the youth think. And I have heard kids use very despairingly, like what a boy is girl. Which is, I think, their way of saying,

not like the other girls. The girl who's not like the other girls. Oh, it's a boy's girl. Like a boy was describing like his group of friends and he was like, I'm really close with this per kid who was a girl. And then these other girls were like, wow, she's such a boy's girl. And it is literally the same concept as when we joke like,

not like the other girls. But then I was like, oh, this is interesting because girls' girl is a great phrase. Like you'd be a girls girl. You're talking about this with desperate housewives. Yeah, like be there. for the gals. Like, it's a great concept. But then the existence of the girl's girl, I think, then brings in the existence of the boy's girl. And we don't like that girl, you know, but, but, but, but why? Like, like, you know, obviously there is the, not like the other girls thing where it's like,

the idea is like, I'm, I'm setting myself up to be better than the other girls by acting like the things that girls like are bad and, uh, and I'm cooler than that or whatever. And that is like shitty and people shouldn't do that. But then, yeah, just to hear it kind of weaponized like that, like, oh, what a boy's girl. I was like, oh, I don't know about this. I don't know about this. Yeah, yeah. But maybe it's just the same thing we do. But what do you say as a counselor, though, like in that? I mean, do you say anything against like using terminology like that? I mean, in that moment, I, I wasn't part of the conversation and I didn't interject myself because the conversation quickly, like, kind of moved on to something else.

But I, and also, I was like, I had to take a minute to think about it. I don't know how to read it. Because it is literally the same idea as I'm not like the other girls. But there's just something about it that's like, oh, now we're like, if you're not a, like, if you're friends with boys, then you're not a girl's girl. Like, I don't love that, you know. Yeah. Why do you have to be either one? Right. And I think that, yeah, I'm like, it's this tough. Or a boy's girl isn't. And that's the distinction. Right, right.

Yeah, I don't know. Because you also know the ones that would like assimilate into the boys for sexual purposes. Right. And I always like, I feel like I would have weaponized the phrase boys girl because I'm like, oh, you're just trying to be a boys girl when like I'm a boys girl. I'm an actual boys girl and you're just trying to because I was genuinely friends with all of them because they didn't want to sleep with me. Right. And so I think that I would definitely weaponize you like something like that of like, oh, you're going to come in and try to fuck the guys.

I tried to fuck and they wouldn't fuck me. That's the thing. I think we do need to identify the type of person who puts other girls down to lift themselves up by disparaging femininity. And we do need to recognize the type of like pro-social behavior that is like standing up for other girls like having solidarity with each other and being there for each other. But then I'm like, but then we now have created. this third category where we're like policing the, the gender dynamics of different friend groups

to judge the girls for who they're friends with. And I don't know if I love that. It's nothing new. I think we did the same thing. I think all generation done the same thing. I mean, Susan's so zany, right? But Susan also definitely jumps right back into bed with Carl. And can we just sidebar real quick? For everyone to be like, how dare you think that Michael's name is Michael when there is a Carl and a Carlos, okay? Can we just throw that out there? There. is a Carl and a Carlos. There are so many names in the world. And when we say biblical names, and Carlos, when we say biblical names, we're not talking Old Testament. We're not talking Ezekiel. Okay, we're talking Mike, Matthew, Tom, David. Is there David? I don't think there's a David.

Carl, Carlos, Ben, George. It's very difficult to keep track of these men. And also the men are all unremarkable. I like it. We're just naming male names. Just name a male names. And they're all just these men. I don't know. I don't know what's happening. And look at us being girls' girls by disparaging the men and being there for the women, you know. But also, I want to be a boy's girl too. I know.

I'm a person's person, you know. I'm a person's person. Thank you. That is what we are. We're people's people. Yeah. It's, you know, and I'm not, I, uh, it's tough to be a kid and to figure out your group dynamics. I'm just a kid.

Life is a nightmare. See, I think you need a little bit more simple plan in your life. I should have been singing just a couple of songs. I should have, in the middle of sessions, I should just start singing simple plan to the kids to see how they're here. And they won't know what you're singing. And be like, okay, okay, teacher, okay, whatever. Do they call you MJ? One of the schools is a first name school, so I'm MJ.

Whoa. I was wondering if the youth were starting to do, it was like, you know, yeah. call them by their first name. And actually the other school is not a first name school, but I'm still MJ. Because, yeah, it's a little, I'm a little complicated because I'm not, I'm not exactly like walking around telling everyone I'm non-binary, but I'm also not like not doing that, you know, like I'm not. Right. So I guess that what's my roundabout way of asking of like how are you navigating that situation? One of the schools I'm at is also like a, we say our pronouns school, which I've never really been at a school like that. And then another school is

kind of not like that. So it's a little bit. easier at the we say our pronoun school. And that school also just has like a robust community of queer kids. And so there's just like a, it's just kind of normal there. Hell yeah. They then pronouns quite common. And it's, and it's lovely. But yeah, no, it is. I actually had a kid at the other school, a kid who was just like you saying, sir and, and, and, and ma'am like you do when you're so polite. This kid was trying to be polite. And he called me ma'am. And then he stopped and paused. And he was like, is that? What are your pronouns? And it was such a sweet little, he like, stopped himself.

And he was like, is that okay? And I called you, ma'am. And I was like, thank you for asking. And I was like, I don't really know what my pronouns are. You can call me, you can call me, ma'am. That's great. But yeah, it was, it's a, it's also a really sweet way to react and make it not as scary of a situation. Because even as I was just asking, it was like, maybe we shouldn't talk about this publicly.

No, no. But thank you for answering me. Because I was wondering and I imagine other people were too, because it is, it's, it's, it's actively changing as, you know, school just keeps going. So how do you navigate these conversations? But it makes sense that it's school by school. It's school by school. Yeah. Yeah. And it depends on the, on the, community and, and what's going down at the school. Totally. And yeah, I mean, there's, you know, my other school, I was there for 11 years and I was Miss Molly. And I, and I, and then I stopped going only because of the pandemic. And so sometimes I am like, I wonder if the pandemic had

never happened, like, what would have happened with me? Yeah. I'm like, it is, I, I was, I, I was so entrenched in my identity as Miss Molly that I'm like, would I have not transitioned because I would be like, like, I can't not be Miss Molly, you know. But I would have, but I'm really proud of you. I mean, sorry, not to be, it's just awesome. And you're graduating. And I just feel like this is all, it's just all, I'm just so proud of you, MJ. As we go on.

We remember. Oh, my God. Are you going to play vitamin C at the graduation? I haven't even thought. thought about vitamin. I got to get vitamin C. I got to get time of our lives. Do I need to make you a playlist? Uh-oh, I'm adding it to the list of things I gotta do. And here's the thing. Gotta make a playlist, make a playlist for you.

Just to bring it back real quick to what I was trying to say about girls' girls. Sorry, I got very excited about making you a graduation playlist and I want everyone to know, yes, I will post it on Patreon. And when you did that, I wanted to say, you're such a girl's girl. I really want girls' girl to be a genderless phrase for a person who's there for you. I think I like people's people. I think that's why to take this phrase that is like that what it means is that you be there for each other and then to have to create it as like, oh, the way that you're being there for your friends is not what I like is like that's what I've been thinking about.

But yeah, maybe we're just. I also like the, I also understand like being a boy's boy too. Oh yeah. Which I feel like being a boy's boy can probably be very scary. Even as I said it, I'm like, maybe that's scary. Maybe that's scary. Thinking of Jack Reacher beating up that guy in the street. Jack Reacher as a boy.

Christopher Nolan is a boy's boy. Yeah, no, we know the boys' boys' boys. But is J.J. E.E.E.J. E.E.E.E.J. E.J. E.J.E.E.E.E.E.E. Or is Stanley Tucci? E.E.? Elegantly heterosexual. Stanley Tucci. I don't know if I can ever not think of the phrase, elegantly heterosexual. when thinking about Stanley Tucci ever again. Just real quick,

Merrill Street was asked about what she thinks about Stanley Tucci's sexuality. Can I just say, that's a weird thing to ask? It is a weird thing to ask. Can I just, I think that. It's not, I think Merrill's, right? She doesn't have to have an opinion on Stanley Tucci's sexuality.

No, and especially, actually, in reading this article further, she was asked about Stanley Tucci's sexuality at Stanley Tucci's Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony. Why are you asking Merrill Streep, who has done multiple movies with him, who has known him for a really long time, why are you going to ask him to describe Stanley Tucci's sexuality?

This is a big milestone for Stanley Tucci getting his Walk of Fame star. Merrill Streep, do you think he's secretly gay? Where do you think he plugs it down? What holes do you think he goes after? Is it the back or the front? Or do you think it's the top? What do you think it just cuts a little slit in his side so he can Jesus Christ them? This is the thing.

Despite the objective progress we have made, I do still think that we are a culture that remains deeply uncomfortable with people who blur these categories. That's a crazy. And we're not even that stick up the ass. That's a crazy thing to ask. That is especially at the Walk of Fame ceremony. Like, can we talk about his movies? You're talking about anything? You're talking about like his cooking.

We talk about his travel shows. Can we talk about anything else? Anything. Anything. Is he such an interesting person? and she's asked about his sexuality and she says Stanley has an elegance to his heterosexuality. He is undeniable heterosexuality,

which is formidable. Formidable. Formidable. Not that heterosexuality is better than any other kind of sexuality. It's just that elegance, real unforced, natural, unstyled elegance is sometimes harder for straight men. You're right. At first I was like, I guess this quote is nice.

And the more I look at it, I'm like, why in the fuck is this conversation? She was put to the wall. Yeah, like what does she say about that? like, I hope his sexuality is great. Like, what is she? I actually feel like, can we talk about what a queen of a response to be asked that question? Your brain is all, but Merrill Street, obviously, so media trained.

But that, you're right. It's not the like, oh, that's the greatest response I've ever heard. But if asked out of nowhere about a coworker's sexual, like, what if I was asked after a show, like, what do you think of MJ's heterosexuality? I'm good for I don't do I don't know I don't know to be fair if somebody asked me about your sexuality I would describe it as undeniable and formidable oh yeah what a real unforce natural oh yeah that's what it is I have described before I identified as as non-binary I did describe my heterosexuality as relentless like I wish it wasn't I wish it wasn't this but it is I you're not not the only heterosexual I know that feels that way. I will say that.

Undeniable and formidable. Yeah. Yeah. This is such a funny. Elegance to his heterosexuality. And then, yeah, the BuzzFeed article suggests other men who are in similar categories. Idrasalba, Oscar Isaac, Riz Ahmed, Mahershala Ali. I think they just chose people who are well dressed.

Yeah. Like, I think they were hot and also charming. Jeff Goldblum, you know, I think it's just hot and charming people. And Jeff Goldblum was a bit of a dandy. Yeah. I feel like Idriselba's been in Dandy. Osterizing. Oscar, I'm going, boing, boing.

Now would we call going out the window? Would we call KJ. Ape's heterosexuality, relentless, formidable or elegant? I would say KJ. Appers? Maybe not Mr. Fantasies. Mr. Fantasy's sexuality is ambiguous, I would say. Yes. Completely open. And it is, for those that have followed us since Riverdale, you know. that we have been low-key obsessed with Kiji Epa.

And also the fact that Kijie Epa's, you know, he's going to be Jimmy Stewart soon. And we will have to find that movie at some point made by the Christian production company. And we're going to have to, we're going to have to watch it at some point. But that day is not today. Because last week during Jackin, we watched the Do Me Right music video, I think six times. We, like, because this new video, this new Mr. Fantasy video dropped because he's about to drop an entire album. And the do me right music video is just

him like we've been seeing in all this PR that he's been hanging out with all his celebrity friends even though they're not his celebrity friends. He's just finding them and in the music video he you like all of the people you've seen him with in PR recently are

all in the do me right music video. Lily Reinhard Lily Reinhardt you know Robbblossom yeah I just calling her mandolin Patches or anything. But it is so it's all of his friends. And he, so what he did over the weekend was he, or not over the weekend, I think it was yesterday.

It was during the week. He came out as KJ. Appa and said that enough is enough. I won't sit back any longer and watch someone attempt to ruin my life and everything I've worked for. It has like the aesthetic of like an apology video, but it's or like I'm calling something out video. I'm calling something out video. He's like, everyone. It's very close to the camera. This is so offensive and it needs to stop.

And he's, man. It's fucked up. It's fucked up because I just lost on a huge job and can no longer go in for serious work because people think I'm a joke because of this guy. It's all, he's, him insisting that he's not Mr. Fantasy. I think it's fun. I think it's fun too. And Jay, in a world where everything is garbage, I think it's kind of fun. Yes, I don't know why Mr. Fantasy did a video with James Franco a while ago.

I don't know why he did. I don't know why Dave Franco, I think he just is friends with the two of them. I think that it just, IRL happens to be friends with the two of them. Yeah, that's a weird one. That's a weird. It's weird. And I'm not, I've clocked it. I want everyone to know we clocked it.

Yeah. But I just like, I like the idea that KJ. Apa, who is this fairly conservative dude, or at least seemingly like presenting in media as a fairly conservative dude. Right. having this alter ego that he openly protests against that is definitely 100% him. And I love that it's in a like not in an Andy Kaufman way. I like that it's so like he's not actually trying to be mysterious.

He's not actually. It's just funny. Like he's not even going above and beyond like in character work. He just has fake teeth and a wig. It's just so obviously him. I know. It's an interesting. And it really put KJ.

Epa on the map in a way that he. He just was not on the map before. Yeah, he was just like a, you know, attractive guy who was on a pretty bad show. And not the best part of a pretty bad show. Not the best part of a pretty bad show. And then his other work, like, I liked the hate you give, you know, but his other, he was it a dog's purpose? A lot of weird movies. You know, movies like, I still believe.

Yeah. Does he only make Christian movies? What the hell? Yeah, I think so, MJ. Like, I think that that's why I'm like, I love. Mr. Fantasy. KJEPA, I don't know. Yeah.

But I also, I need to say, just because he only makes Christian movies, doesn't mean, I'm not, not all Christians are bad. And I don't, I don't, genuinely don't feel that way. It's just the fact that he keeps making these movies at these Christian production companies. That's, yeah. Why? I am, I'm just, I, like, it's given Kirk Cameron. It is.

And that gives me the. the size of the world when it comes to my sploosh. That's for damn sure. Absolutely. Yes. It's, it's splucheless despite him being. Oh, splooshless. But then, yeah, Mr. Fantasy, it really, it does just kind of, again, we've talked about how the Riverdale actor is kind of struggling to figure out what's next for themselves, many of them. Although Cammy Mendez is going to be in the new he-man, and I will throw it out there. I'm not a he-man person, but I'm happy for the he-maners out there. Yeah, yeah, that'll be fun. Jen, excellent. I was never my thing. He Man was never, like, that was never my thing. Like, I, I, I really wasn't, I wasn't attracted to He Man. I was, like, I didn't want anything to do with it.

My main association with He Man is going to Blockbuster as I must have been six. And I got one of the only two videos I would rent to Blockbuster, which was either of my little pony movie or a Care Bears movie. And I made it home from Blockbuster, sat down to watch my movie. And it had been misfiled. And I put in the, VHS and it was a fucking He-Man movie. He-Man cartoon. And so for the rest of my life, any time someone mentions He-Man, I feel like a visceral rage at the fact that I was made to watch He-Man instead of whatever I wanted to watch. And I think He-Man's been thinking about it ever since.

I think that you, I can't imagine the upset. He-Man had never experienced someone looking at him and being upset, you know? Is Shira going to be in it? I feel like the best, the most appealing thing about, The He-Man is Shira, right? Well, see, this is inevitably, I know that some people are going to be like, Jackie, I have nothing to do with it. Because, like, when I watched the He-Man trailer, I was like, see, I'm more of a Zena.

Like, if you're going to make me choose, and I don't think anyone is between He-Man and Zena. I think. I think- One was for children and one was for adults, crucially. Yeah, yeah. What was for adult? Lesbians, I think. Yeah, yeah.

And I haven't watched Zena since it was all. Like, I just remember being, like, glued to it and just being like, I want to be a warrior. Correct me if I'm wrong. I'm really not trying to speak for anybody, but I have had a lot of adult, the adult women who like women in my life talk about how foundational Zina was for that. Oh, I've had a couple of conversations about Zena before. I don't think that you're speaking out of turn. I, yeah. Oh, a strong, big, scary woman that's going to take care of me.

Oh, no, that's not my type at all. Oh no, keep her away from me. I do, it takes me out of it though because he, man, I wish, I'm going to say it, I wish you recovered more. I feel like he needs more armor. Wow. And that's coming from the Splush Master Jay. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it was just one of those, you know, when we were kids, it was like, again, because we were consuming media kind of more intentionally, I don't know what if we were, I mean, I don't know. I just, it was like a, I mean, yeah. Yeah, talk about people. I think because you couldn't have everything. I think now we have everything at our fingertips so you couldn't. But we really had only like what the video store had and what you were allowed to get. So there was this entire cultural phenomenon that I knew of, like Thundercats or He-Man, where I was like, I know people like that.

Yes, but never got into it. Yeah, exactly. Like totally. And that's me with He-Man. And then, yeah, I know people love, she were Princess of Power and all that. But just for the different age groups, too, because like specifically, I remember my sister who is older than I am, she was a obsessed with she had all the strawberry shortcakes. Everything strawberry shortcake she had. And I remember by the time it was given to me, all the strawberry shortcake things, you know, they're all scented.

And I remember by the time I got it 13 years later and all of them kind of like smelled like old crayons. Like they were all just like shoved in and none of them smelled like strawberry shortcake anymore. And I'm just like, what's the, and I would try to like huff it the way I would huff the markers. Like we were all supposed to huff the scented markers. But. but no strawberry. And I feel like without the scent, it lost it for me. Yeah, yeah. Strawberry Shortcake was never particularly compelling to me.

But she's back. My kids watched when they were younger. There was a Netflix show. Really? I don't know if it was Netflix. Something Prime. I don't know. I mean, they got to bring it back because the parents probably loved it.

And then they're like, yeah, I'll put on more strawberry shortcake. Bring it all back. But yeah, like if you got, you know, gun to my head or not gun to my head, let's just say, I'm on who wants to be a millionaire and you ask me, what was the plot of strawberry short cake. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. She's made out of strawberries? I don't know. Does she turn into a strawberry? Why does she smell like strawberries? I don't know. Yeah. Do they eat each other? Like, is it part of it? Like, are they scented to, like, put off like a different kind of musk? Because, like, their pheromones are too strong. Yeah. What's happening with these cakes?

Yeah. Yeah. Right. Is she a strawberry? Is she a cake? Is she a human? Does she live in the grass? I feel like she's very small. Does she get plucked? Oh my God. Is this? the first miniature wife? And they're like, I don't know, shove her in a strawberry, put some seeds on the rat side. By the way, people say it, miniature wife is good.

People say it don't judge a miniature wife by their cover. I'm judging by every billboard I see. In L.A., there are so many miniature wife billboards that talk about, I'm not a little girl's girl, okay?

I'm a big woman's woman. Yeah, you, You had your relationship to Elizabeth Banks in miniature wife, not a girl's girl. You're not being a girl's girl. Not a girl. You're not the smaller the woman, the less the girl I am. What was the other thing you included in the articles this week about how mad you were? Where is it?

Your headline was Little Woman eats big food. And it was like, that was last week. It was because it was all, it was all, it was all of her talking about like, and I had to eat a chocolate bar. So they made a big chocolate. bar and I was just like, oh, great. Oh, did they have to make it big? And I know, I'm sure. I probably watch two episodes to be like, you guys are right.

It's really not that bad. And I just, you know, there are certain hills you got to die on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll never watch it. I don't care how big the fucking chocolate bar is. And I don't care that it was made out of real chocolate. I don't care. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I get it. It's not that crazy to make a big chocolate bar. Sorry. I mean, props. department props to you. I'm glad that you did it and you made it look great. I really

like that it is a show that looks stupid. Apparently is good but that's making you even matter. God, it's making me even matter. Oh God, it makes me so furious. That's why and then I'm watching watching widows pay, watching Marcos got money trouble and I'm like, ah, ah, this is a show.

This is what I call a show. This is a show. The women are all normal sized. That's just so funny because I say that as if I'm not watching Real Housewives of Rhode Island. Oh, my God. MJ, I realize that the accent's back in the throat. It's back in the throat. And I have Real Housewives of Rhode Island is people are saying that like the old school version of Real Housewives where it's like they've known each other for a long time.

A lot of petty squabbles. All the husbands are cheating. It's just all. And they all know so much shit. about each other because they're all from most of them are from Rhode Island and I the the I

introduced it to a friend yesterday and while we were both working side by side and I was like let me just put on the first episode it was like it's great because I've seen the first episode already but I still can't tell them apart so this will be good for us did I watch the second the first episode again

and still couldn't tell them apart yeah but did I continue watching yes and the at you go for the accents and the tans at least because I want to say thank you to all of the Rhode Islanders out there that rode in about me watching this. There are many of you. There are many of you. And I hope, and it seems like a lot of you guys are watching it. And I, I please keep the Rhode Island information, keep it coming. Yeah. Keep lay. I want to know more. I am,

I, this is, it's, it's, I'm, I'm into it. I've never thought about Real Housewives. as like a vehicle to like learn more about a region. But I do love learning about regional culture. Like I love, love, love it. Like I love talking about Midwestern culture. I love talking about the differences between Iowa versus Wisconsin versus Minnesota. Like so I've just never thought of Real Housewives. It's like each, each Real Housewives is a glimpse into a like robust local culture.

Yes. And it's crazy because at first, when I first was listening to it, because, you know, oh, I'm a voice bitch. So of course I immediately like tap into the voices and I was like, oh man, I didn't realize Rhode Island accents are so Jersey. They're just really Jersey. And then as I want, that's why I was like, no, it's back in the throat. It's like, it's back here. It's, it's back in the throat. And they all talk really loud and it's all back here. How is it? I wonder how, uh, on the spectrum from Boston accent to Jersey accent where it is. I feel. I feel. I wonder. I wonder how, uh, on the spectrum from Boston accent to Jersey accent where it is.

I feel like Boston is more, I'm talking at my ass, but I feel like Boston's more, and Jersey is more like face forward, nasally, like more up in the head rather than back in the throat. Pack the car. Yes, and I feel like it is more up than it is down,

and maybe that makes sense to some people, but I feel like as someone that I try to, you know, when I'm doing different voices for different audiobooks and stuff, like that when I'm trying to do different characters of trying to make things slightly different. So it's not, you know, obviously, if you listen to Jackie's Book Club, I don't do it like that in my real audiobooks because really you have to do it with like a finesse and you're not supposed to make it too jarring of differences.

Unlike what you will hear next week, if you've never checked out our Jackie's Book Club of Twilight because I am re-releasing the first chapter next week. For everyone. For everyone. I kind of forgot that I did, I started. right out the gate of doing Charlie's voice sounding like goofy. And then I continue for five books of doing his voice like he sounds like goofy. And so that's not the case of what I do in real audio books.

Yes, yes. But I am so fascinated by these women. I am so sunken to this world because Rhode Island, like the community is pretty small. And that's what you get to know about in this world. It's a lot of boat culture. it's a lot, and like a lot of them are very against outsiders, which I also love in a show, or at least judgmental of outsiders. I shouldn't say that they don't like outsiders.

They're judgmental of outsiders, especially them coming into Rhode Island. And as someone that I've, I experienced that in such a specific way going to Maine years ago, where I'd always heard like, mainers are scary. Mainers don't want you there. Really? I didn't think, I didn't think was going to be the game. I was like, that's crazy. But we went in an off time, and I do wonder, like, it, I mean, it's also the Stephen King about Maine, too, where everything felt so, I mean, it was so beautiful.

And it was so cool. Gideon loves food I've ever eaten. And I love Maine so much. Gideon loves Maine. He's obsessed with Maine. It's like his favorite place. Oh, it's so spooky. And then you look at it and you think of how much state where there's just absolutely nothing.

And, like, you wonder why Stephen King is inspired by you. the state of May, like, but it is like, I feel like it does have a similar culture, or at least of what I'm getting from Rhode Island, where there is judgment and they know pretty immediately if you're from there or if you're not from there. New England, coastal towns, judging. Maynors sound off, though, please, because I'm saying this because I love it and I wish that I could, like, I think I'm not polished enough to be in New England, you know? I thought it was just going to be the end of the sentence.

Oh, well, I mean, you're not polished enough. I think you're perfect. My sexuality is formidable. I mean, they do say that. Yes, you're just as polished as you need to be, Jackie. Thank you. Send me to Maine. Yeah, New England.

Oh, my God. It's a mystery to me. Think of me in like the big chunky sweaters. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, because I know New York's not New England. I go, I have family in Boston.

We go there. but like the whole, it does seem like New England culture is very much its own thing. Yes. And because I've never really engaged with that, it's very mysterious. And you're right, it is like, it's very like literary. Old money. Yeah. It makes me think of like the Upper East Side versus the Upper West Side where like I feel like the, like, that has where it's like, it is like woods and mountains and like, but if you look at the Northeast versus the Pacific Northwest as someone that like I'm obsessed with both sections of the country, it is.

I feel like quite a spectrum of like they're the same but completely opposite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The West Coast and the West Side are where the wacky things happen. Uh-oh, we're all wacky. Ooh, wacky, Jackie. You better watch out where I put my fingers. Undeniable. Undeniable.

Very, very scary. Very scary thing to say. But I will say that I was bringing up real housewives of Rhode Island because one of the guys, I'm, oh, where is the, yes, this headline that I was like, oh, wood that I could. Real Housewives of Rhode Island, Kelsey Swanson splits from boyfriend, but reveals he will continue to fund her lifestyle. I saw this headline too. I was like, oh, God, isn't that the dream? Yeah.

Oh, they leave you and then they, because this woman lives on like a castle estate on Rhode Island. She has a full staff. She has like multiple pools, a tennis court. Like she's crazy. Except she is a now single woman and she was in the relationship but they are Polly. And so all of the other, all the other women were always like, oh, is he off with his other girlfriend? And she's like, it's okay. Like I know about like this is not, they're all trying to judge her.

And she's like, this is actually okay. Like, I'm fine with it. But then now we realize we find out that they're going to break up and that he's still going to fund her lifestyle to live in that castle with a staff. Why? Why? What's in it for him? Why is he fun of the lifestyle?

I mean, I guess because now she's on the real housewives of Rhode Island. So it's like, you know, like a connection and maybe also, I don't know, a segsy connection. Who knows? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I need to get into, as soon as I get that degree, I'm going to. watch Real Housewives of Rhode Island.

You're really selling it to me. Oh, yeah. You're going to get, you're going to get in there. And also, I'm going to get into guys. I've got a couple long flights coming up. I am going to watch Euphoria on the plane. Oh, fun. I'm going to watch Euphoria on the plane. Make people uncomfortable.

And maybe I'll make some plane friends. Yeah, see Cindy Sweetie doing her adult baby OnlyFans thing and see how many people are looking over at you. Maybe, maybe, who knows, the person in the middle seat will just be like, huh? And I'm like, yeah. You want to talk about Surn? And I'm like, what? And I'll be like, siren. That's the name of L'Are. Who gives a shit?

CERN. I have to try to sell my husband on watching Euphoria because he doesn't like dramatic, sad things. But I, I know, I know, I know. But everyone in it is so beautiful and talented. You know, I just want to watch it. And they're all adults when they do it, right? I can say that, that they're all beautiful. and talented. I'm thinking about the adult versions of them. They're adults. They're adults. MJ, really important. Let me put on Ebon. Oh, is, are you talking about cousin from bear? I'm talking about cousin from bear. God, I love. There, I saw a yes, MJ. They dropped a surprise

episode of the bear. I keep seeing people talking about this. Tell me. Apparently, cousin is the only cast member in it and it's all about cousin. And some people are saying it's the best episode of the bear and it reminds me, the reason why I brought up because of euphoria, it reminds me of, do you, did you end up watching the Zendaya, like, Christmas Euphoria specials that were like, it was, I believe, was Zendaya, I think it was, what? No, I did not. I did not do that. I, yeah, everybody's talking about this bonus episode of the bear.

Have not seen it yet. Zendaya Christmas specials. It is. So Coleman Domingo plays, uh, Zendaya. sponsor in Euphoria. And there is this episode that they put out in between, I don't know if it was in between seasons or if it was the last thing that was put out. I just remember watching it.

And it was just a tour to, like a tour to acting force. And it's just Zendaya and Coleman Domingo for an hour in a two shot. And of them talking about her falling off the wagon and him being her sponsor. And it is great. If I remember quite Like I watched it when it first came out And I was just like fucking this It's like this is why I like euphoria

This is the fucking problem And then like this So then with the bear Which I feel like the last season of the bear I wasn't the hugest fan of But then they put out this episode And I'm like oh but if you're gonna give me A big episode just about cousin

Well that's a different Long of story Okay And I uh we both need to watch And John Bernthal's in it Which he's great. Duh. Spoon him in.

And I, uh, apparently it's just, um, I'm going to guess it's sad. Uh, yeah, I'm going to guess they too. I'm going to guess it's sad. But it just makes me want to put on, is it the Forks episode of the Bear with the Taylor Swift episode? Oh, God. Oh, it's such a good episode. I mean, talk about relentless heterosexuality. I'll do anything for cousin. Wow. I'll do. Man, he would just keep. fucking up.

Yeah. I keep trying to fix him. We can just fix him. I think we can fix him. I mean, we're the people's people. I think they just let us in. I think that he would really be changing his tune. We're the people's people.

It sounds like weirdly patriotic. It does. It makes you think of Zora and Mom Donnie not going to the Met Gala and he was like doing the tour or whatever. And everyone was just like, Mom Donnie is all. That's, yeah, that's how you do it. I know earlier this week I said I'm not holding it against any celebrity for going. But I think that statement was driven by me just not wanting to be mad at people like Janelle Monet and stuff.

I know. And I just don't want to yell. But also it is crazy how like ruthless some of these like, God, the internet is just such a mean place. They were talking about, you know how every year there's like the viral bathroom picture. Yeah. And they had the viral bathroom picture. And it was like, you know, it's EJ. There's like, you know, Hunter's there.

Or like I think Blackpick was there. and it was, Iowa, Ada Mary was there. And it was just like, there was a bunch of, and then they put it side by side with the one that the Kardashian put out when there was a bunch of like, and they're like, look at how far they fall. It used to be A-listers at the Met Gala. Who even knows who's in this picture? What? What are you talking about? Everyone knows who's in this picture.

And I think that these, and I'm saying this as an old person. I'm like, even I know who these young people are. What are you talking about that like, don't try to make this. It's like, no, it's Bezos's Met Gallo now, okay? So, like, you can throw mud at it for, like, other things. But, like, don't, like, lesser them because they're taking a cute bathroom self. You know what I mean? Right.

Yeah, that's how I feel. I was just like, I mean, would it be awesome if all of the famous people organized and collectively boycotted it because of Bezos? Of course. That would be freaking awesome. And Zora- But is Gracie Abrams, the Nepo baby, going to do that? I don't think so. Right. That's the thing. I just, I think that I just have, I have just, you know, lowered my standards so much for what I expect from celebrities, but not what I expect from Zoran Mamdani. And good for him. Good for him. And it is, also I think a lot of people had a problem because the person taking the picture, oh my God, I'm going to screw it up. I can't remember what her name is. She's a model.

Um, Mandava? I don't know. She was wearing jeans. Oh. And she had come to the Met Gala wearing jeans and she's the one taking the picture and the selfie and they're like, oh, and it's the model that wore jeans where it's just it's there, it's costumes, guys. Yeah.

At the end of the day, there's just so much going on. Yeah. And you know, but then I do love how much people are like, Mom Daddy. Money. Yeah. I mean, does the New York City mirror usually? go to the Megala? I don't even, I'm like, I feel like, I think so. Okay. I feel like I'm praising him for something that I did not expect him to do for not doing something that I didn't expect. I believe they

expect the mayor. Oh, okay. That is part of it. Yes. So that's why he actively was going, like, what was he doing? Was it like a union walk or something? Like he was doing something. Let me see. I did. No, I did. I did see these, uh, these headlines about what he did. I asked because you own him as as person that lives in New York. I love. I love. him. Yes, he was, he was like with the workers, the fashion workers. Yeah, he's, he's, he's good at, he's good at, um, thank you fashion workers. He's very good at optics and going to find like the, the union and the workforce and the protesters to be with. Yeah, I'm just, just trying to catch up on this now, so I don't know all of the details, but, uh, he aligned himself. The times described on Monday, Mom

Donnie, a Democratic socialist went further. And aligned. himself with the city's working class by releasing a photo portfolio highlighting six behind the scenes workers that fuel the city's fashion industry. So that is actually like a very intentional. That's awesome. That's cool. Very intentional. Very, very cool. Yeah. That's he's very good at optics. The fashion industry is made. That's literally what we were talking about like of like, okay, well, I wish the celebrities could do something. Yeah. Something like that. Like that's really cool. Give a platform for someone that would not be celebrated otherwise. Like that's really fucking awesome. That's the thing because it is sometimes people are like, well, what do you

expect them to do instead. And it's like, what have we used our imagination? And I've fallen victim to this too. I'm like, my expectations for celebrities are very low. I don't expect them to do anything instead. But yeah, he put out a statement, the fashion industry is made possible by thousands of workers behind the scenes, seamstresses, tailors, retail workers, delivery drivers, whose immense talent and dedication deserves to be celebrated. Hell yeah. Splush. Oh, and then we all slip and slide into next week, y'all. But hopefully you slip and slide right into murder she baked because, yeah, next week, you're getting a watch along. And don't worry, again, if you don't want to get a hallmark subscription, which I bet you don't,

you go right on over to the Patreon, patreon.com slash page 7 podcast, and we will have the full video as well as MJ and I's camera on. But also, if you just want to listen to audio, which love your freak, that is also going to be available on the, just the RSS feed. if you want to dream about what Hannah Swenson actually looks like while everyone shits all over her for being single and for owning a bakery and eating a couple too many cookies, which she has it. But we really lean in and I loved it. We had a great time. I can't wait to watch the next one. Yes.

So, yeah, next week, network break. That's the episode you're getting Thursday. day and we had such a good time. Even if you only go over and join the Patreon to watch it and then bow out. Like, we had such a fun time. And then Friday, our second helpings episode is going to be Jackie's book club, Twilight Edition, which is, ooh, that's something special. That's really, that's, that's Jackie doing some experimental art related to the ideas.

It's quarantine days. It's quarantine days. So just remember my brain was extra. I want to say juicy. Like I feel like it was like marinating more. Yeah. But at the same time, we were working a lot. Yeah.

During the quarantine, which is very, I mean, very thankful. Very wonderful. Hashtag blessed. But also, but our brains were still absolutely scrambled about everything going on. So I think I put it all into Twilight. Yeah. No, the network programing, the network break programming next week is, I think, some of our best.

I'm really excited for people to hear what you do with the Twilight characters. And I'm really excited for people to join us for the murder she begged watchalong because that was one of the most fun watchalongs that I think we've ever done. I might, I mean, talk about maybe I'm just laughing at movies too much recently, but my stomach hurt at the end because of how much we laughed. So please join us and join Hannah Swenson. And we can't wait. We will.

And of course, over on the Patreon, we're definitely, We're just the only thing not getting next week is Wisteria Laniacs, but we will be back the following week with that, which is good because honestly, thank God, because MJ has to go graduate. Yes. They have to go graduate. Yes. They have to go get all of the many things done and they got to go graduate. And I am so proud of you, MJ. It's going to be great.

It's going to be great. And then, yeah, we'll be back with all the regular brand new programming the following week. And we love you guys. We're thankful that you're here. Also, I believe it is, you know what, I'm going to say it, and I, I'm, which hopefully means it's definitely going to be true. Because if it's not that week, it'll be the following. Because when we come back, I believe we're going to be on video. Yeah.

Completely. So we will start having our own complete video feed that we will definitely be able to pop up. We're going to make our YouTube. We're going to make, we're going to pop it up on the Patreon. And we're finally, even though we're in separate places, even though we're Fival goes Westin, all of our pop culture, we still. can get on video. Yeah, that's going to be a blast. Really, I'm excited for the things to come.

And I hope you guys enjoy everything next week. And shall we sing the song? Let's sing the song. Pod'll be better the second time around. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, Go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.