Page 7 - Second Helpings - Deeply Humorless

Episode Date: August 15, 2025

This week's Second Helpings takes place on Jackie's birthday eve, but MJ helps to distract her from the birthday dread with talk of the twelve layer PR blast Twelver Swift set off during the Kelce bro's podcast. Jojo Siwa dropped a self aware track bringing the summer to end with a "Raspy" era, and someone decided to fingerblast their girl at a Yankee's game and it's now it's all over socials. Jackie's been watchin' the second season of Wednesday on Netflix, and also suggests everyone go see "Weapons". The great big book O' Goop brings pretty much 0 surprises about GP's personality (or lack thereof). Pam Anderson channels a bit of Meghan Markle and now sells $38 dollar pickles, MJ offers to help Jackie get over her fear of ringworms by taking her to an indoor water park, Vanity Fair did a piece on Jennifer Aniston and she revealed that her and Gooper would goss' 'bout how shitty of a bf Brad Pitt was, Jackie and MJ talk 'bout "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo" and MJ brings up Helen Mirren & Pierce Brosnan starring in a "The Thursday Murder Club" a novel turned movie about a spicy retirement home, MJ hasn't started "Perfect Match" YET, and Jackie loved the new season of King the Hill! PLUS SO MUCH MOOOOORE!!!!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JACKIE!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The theme song, get any better? No, it won't. No, it won't. We like the theme song, like the theme song. No, it won't. I guess, I don't know, I got war tunes in my brain right now. That was a little bit, Music Man. Have you watched, have you done your husband a favor yet?

No, no, no, no. The music man. Why? I hate his happiness. You know, it really just, I hate seeing him, smile. I hate, you know, pleasing him. That is, that's overall that, like, that's the foundation of what our marriage lies on. Yeah.

I understand. Obviously not true. I have not, you know, and I'm not going to this week because it's my birthday tomorrow. And actually, if you're listening to this on Friday. It is my birthday episode. So, thank you. I did take off my angel wings before we started recording. And yeah, you think that that's bullshit.

But it is actually true. I did take off my angel wings. But they're still there because you're always an angel wings. Jackie. Oh my God. You just took off your physical angel wings. Oh, my God. Where do I keep my halo up my yes?

And I do. I love it sparkling. I love a light beam shooting out of my anus. And I go, oh, where is she going? Wherever it is, it's going to be bright. That is how we celebrate your birthday this year. As you are hearing this, if you're listening to it on the day that it comes out, it is Jackie's birthday.

Leo season. Wish her a happy birthday. It's Leo season. It's Leigh out season. Should they do what Ed Larson did last year and find a picture of you at the pool and post it without asking if that's the picture you want? Especially a picture that is not taken at a good angle. Like that's always what you want for your birthday picture. Last year, Ed posted.

It was just like a side picture of me. Like we were in Norlands. I had been drunk and eaten for days. And I was just like, ugh. And it's just this bad picture. And it was like, Ed, we've known each other for almost 20 years. You have no other pictures in there, not a one. And your favorite picture of Jackie, tour pictures posting would be fun.

Sure, yeah, I love tour pictures. Our tour pictures. It's just so funny because when I said that to him, he's like, what? You're good. What? I was like, man, that is the most Ed Larson responds. No, come on, you're good. You're good.

He's just, you know what? I love that he lives the brighter side. I think it's wonderful that he's like, I think he look good in the picture. I don't know. I'm like, you see me as a sack of meat. That's why. You don't see me as a full person.

You literally see me filled with ground beef. No, he sees you as the angel you are and he wouldn't stop to think. Is this a flattering picture of my friend? Because in his eyes, all pictures of you are flattering. Which is, it's nice to live in that dimension. And I would love a tear into it myself. But I will say I am dressed like an angel. Living like a daydream.

Just like a nightmare. Dress like a nightmare like a daydream Maybe I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream So you're baby you're an angel dressed like a demon Yeah You're a demon dressed like an angel Yes Because you're about to record

Crescent City Oh yeah because I'm yeah I was about to record Crescent City And we're recording right after this And you know I realize I never dress up for MJ I like it MJ is to just see me

You have to see me so early You're never seeing me at my you know My most magical and I just wanted to show up magical for you this morning. Yeah, I appreciate that. I never look good for you. How dare you? You always look good.

You look fabulous. How dare? But also, are you still thinking about how great my wings were? Because, yes, they do extend when you pull the little tab. I'm thinking about where I get a pair of those wings for my own children who are outgrowing. You know, a lot of children's dress up clothes kind of stop at age five. Which is ridiculous. No, they don't, MJ.

What if the interest doesn't stop at age time? Let me introduce you into the world of cosplay, MJ. There we go. They can play, they can dress as whatever they want forever. In fact, I even felt sad this morning that I was dressing as Celestina because what I wish I was like dressed up as a whiver and like I wish I had a more fun costume on right now. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, this is just some bitch with wings. Like who gives an F? I'm not showing up properly enough for you, MJ. This is what happens. The birthday makes you feel a lot. It makes you feel like you're not good enough this morning. I started listening to the, I am Rosemary's granddaughter. There's been an image of my father.

And when the day is done, my mama, still my biggest fan. And I cried. I cried all the way to work. And I'm fine with it. You're already crying? You didn't even tell you would cry already today. It is birthday Eve. The crying has begun.

Yes. I understand. I am trying to choose this year. Okay, guys. Okay. I'm trying to not cry on my birthday. I need you to lower your expectations. You're setting yourself up for failure, Jackie.

Oh, is that scary for those around us? No one ever gets scared when I set expectations for myself that I can't reach and so that they're all going to watch my inevitable spiral. I think one step at a time, you're doing a birthday stream. with Holden tonight, which will have passed by the time listeners are hearing this. But I've let's... Yeah, but you can go check it out. Let's, do you want to cry on that?

Or do you want to... I probably will. Yeah, I imagine I will. I probably cry in that. You know, I really like to sprinkle the cries through the day. But hopefully they will be alone cries. That is also big goal. So if you do cry, maybe it's alone, you know?

Okay. How about this? How about you mix things up? I know you're already mixing things up because you're in a wig and angel winks. Yes, thank you. If there's one thing I know about Taylor Swift going on the New Heights podcast with the Kelsey Brothers. It's every single moment of it because it's absolutely everywhere. It is.

I watched a lot of the clips, but I asked my resident Swifty in my home, what do we think? And her first response was, your husband. I really, I mean, I love it. If Gideon really went hard in the paint for Tay, I would, you know, it's a journey I definitely would support. I would love that, honestly. We would have more in common, but we don't. We have chapel. You have chapel.

Yes, we have chapel. And we have the K-pop Demon Hunters soundtrack. But Tay wore a new lip color, you guys. It's orange. Instead of red. Red. Which is crazy because, like, her color red mac lipstick has, like, it's almost always sold out because, like, that's, like, her shade of red. We established on yesterday's show.

She does, she's got her things, you know. She's got her thing. She has her lipstick. Oh yeah. And now she's like, my thing is orange. My lip is orange.

And you know what? I'm here to repent because yesterday I was a big old dick about the Kelsey brothers. I loved how big hard throbbing dick you were about the Kelsey brothers. And I said, I'm tired of those assholes. I don't want to hear what they have to say. And you know what? I think that I was right.

But also, I watched the New Heights. And I'm, ooh, I'm mad because it keeps making me think of the Postal Service, such great heights, which I like. But it's not that. I wish it was that. Come down now. It's not that. It's two football players talking about football.

But then yesterday they were talking about Taylor Swift with Taylor Swift. And it was nice. And I'll admit, it does really seem like Travis and Taylor like each other. Wow. And that's, is that nice? Yes. Do I love love? Yes.

And even the brother is nice. I guess it's fine. And I guess I'm sorry I was such a prick because I guess who are they hurting? That's the question. I think the answer might not be nobody. Again, I don't know their politics and I don't know anything. That's what I'm afraid of is like, what is this bad? But in terms of just watching the clips, he's like, I love that you own your music and I love watching you on stage.

And it is nice to watch a big macho man be like, I admire the woman I'm with. And not only that. Is the bar in hell? Yes, the bar is in hell. Yes, the bar is in hell. But even him openly being like when she was like, I cried so much when I got my master's back. And he's like, man, I cried too.

I know. I was so wrapped up. It's like, oh, MJ watching the goddamn clips. It is so funny. Two days. It only took us two days because we, I think we are all being brainwashed as a society because literally the old. the only news over the last two days has just been the analysis of this interview. One podcast episode.

I know. It's a lot. It is so crazy. It's so, to such an extent that it does, this is why I think you feel the way that you feel. And the why you yelled on Tuesday about it. Yes, because it, I mean, kind of, it's just that it's shoved down our votes. That's the thing. I just like, I.

The thing is it's not them. but it is their PR department shoving it down our folks. Right. I just, what I was complaining about yesterday was the fact that I now, like, everything that one of these two brothers says about anything is now news. And I don't think we need that. I don't think we need to elevate them to that extent. However, I'm perfectly fine with it being news that he loves his girlfriend and his girlfriend is Taylor Swift. Love it.

She loves her boyfriend and whatever. That's fine. And so this interview, I did, I tried to watch as many clips as I could. I did not listen to the entire podcast. but, you know, it's fun. I like, you know, I don't hate Taylor. I like listening to her talk. I like, she's talking about the album and how she's like,

I put out so many songs for Tortured Poets Department. I put out like a million songs and my instinct is to write as many songs as I can and I had to edit myself down. And this is a very intentional album and whatever, you know, it's fun. I got no problem with it. So I'm sorry. Now, I think, I guess I feel like I'm more annoyed with the other one that I'm like, kind of fine with hearing with Travis, but then the other one, I just like, see then all the

clips from Kylie Kelsey's podcast. I feel like it veers towards, I think that that's exactly it. It's like it veers, because of the brother and his wife and their kids, now I have to know what Kylie Kelsey's opinions are on parenting. Everything, yes. I think that's, I, I think that's it. And I got no problem with Kylie Kelsey and I got no problem with your parenting podcast. I think It's fine for it. But I don't know. But I just don't need what happened. Sorry.

I thought that it said that, even still, I thought it said that Jason Kelsey was 33 years old. Kylie Kelsey is 33 years old. But I was just like, Jason Kelsey. I mean, I think he does get hit for a living. So I guess I would understand. But he's 37. He's 37. And then I'm like, is this a, am I the problem?

It's me because I'm like, why do I need to hate Kylie Kelsey for being somebody? I don't think she's. like promoting, you know, creepy, bad things. But let us know if she is. If you listen to do it, you're like, actually, if she might be evil, hit us up. Let us know. There's the aesthetic of the kind of Instagram, my. I find this very hard to talk about because I'm like, I think it's.

On the number line of like representations of women that were allowed to have in pop culture, like far on the number line is the trad wife, right? And then that, obviously we don't like that aesthetic. But I also think sometimes because of sexism and stuff, people will get called tradwives when they're not trad wives. So just because of their aesthetic or their look. But then also I do think it's really important to call out and be critical of that extreme end of like the trad wife aesthetic where it's like, just be a stay at home mom.

And why would you work? And why would you do anything except look pretty for your husband? But then I also don't want to just look at Kylie Kelsey and be like, you have a podcast about being a mom, so you must be shit. Because I know that's an over-correction. Right, right, right. So, and because I don't want to give much of my attention to it, I just don't know whether, I just don't know.

All I know is that they are so dominant in the media, so dominant in the media. And sometimes, you know, you look at something and you're like, this feels like a little coded towards a type of, you know, kind of conservative family representation of, like, you know, But again, everything I've seen her talk about is, I guess, fine. It's just, it's just there, it feels, you know, that meme of the dominoes, like the little dominoe and then the big dominoes? It's like, it just feels like the little domino is like, you know, I think Taylor Swift music is fun. And then the big domino is like, you know, the handmaid's tale is real now. And I don't think that's fair of me.

I don't think that's fair at all. But I'm, I think that that's part of what I'm worried. read about is like there it's like oh we have an all-American girl and we have some football players and we have and we're just talking about a certain type of all-American image yeah and it is especially with all the city sweeties something yeah it's like it's a lot especially with like you know other headlines that you're reading about other things that are going on and it's just like yeah and then you look at this and you're like why am i putting my rage into this and that's i think i'm I'm just rageful about a lot of things.

And we get a lot of emails. And I cannot, I'm just not going to be an investigative reporter enough to follow. Like when people are like, are you going to investigate, you know, Taylor Swift's and Kelsey's connections to MAGA? And I get those emails and I'm like, I don't, I'm not, I don't know how to investigate those things. I mean, at least there's one thing we do know. Trump hates Taylor Swift. And that's true. I feel like inevitably makes me like her more.

For sure. Just anybody he fucking hates makes me like them more. For sure. And she is right. And she, you know, to her credit, she, you know, has not been mealy-mouthed about, you know, her own, like, you know, in 2024. She endorsed Kamala and all that. So, again, I don't know. You remember Brat Summer?

Do you remember seven years ago? Remember Brad Summer? Well, you know, we might not have Brat Summer, but we do have Raspi Summer. Okay, Jackie. Rasp. Rasp. Rasp. Or Jojo Siwa.

Baby. Or it should have seen us, but not more songs. Guys, the song is called Raspi, and it starts with eyes like Betty Davis. Do not take a line from the other song. You just covered that everybody shit all over. And I love that she had to start the song with eyes like Betty Davis. Well, this is the world we're in. Everything is a self-referential.

and everything is referencing the previous thing that you got hated on. So she got hated on for putting out Betty Davis. And now she put out a new song. Stop hating on me for my Betty Davis song. And but this line says this is a new Jojo song called Raspi. It was emailed the way. Please say it the way. Jojo.

Thank you. Thank you. And it was emailed to us with the, uh, from a, uh, dear listener with the subject line, Jojo C, a banger alert. I will admit that it is a phone song? Whoa, Deer Shifter? Is this because we're in the world of Crescent City right now? You're talking about deer shifter?

I'm sorry. I got excited. that it was a deer shifter. Like, how did they write with their hooves? Oh, that kind of deer. Yes, it was a friend who's a deer shifter. Yeah, yeah. No, I know, Lil, it was from Lily.

And thank you so much, Lily, for alerting us of this banger that you, I like that Lily referred to it as banger. And I'm not trying to call you out. I'm trying to say, I love you and I appreciate you. And here's the thing, it is. And I have now already the moment I listened to it, did listen to it again. Yeah. I don't know if that's just because I'm a.

obsessed with lines like, don't hate me. I'm just a little baby. Extremely jacky-coded lyric. Don't hate me. I'm just a little baby. I'm just a little baby. I feel like I've heard those words out of your mouth. Did she plagiarize you? Oh my God. Is she taking bitch? Is she taking baby in total control of herself? I have told you that I'm trying to live a bitch life, right? Oh yes. 25% more bitch, but I'm a baby in total control of myself. You're a baby. Don't hate me. I'm just a baby. To be fair, that is what we say when people are mean to us. So I think that this is the most relatable thing written. The next slide is slim shady but a lady.

But a lady. I think we can agree at this point that we're just going to let Jojo see what try things. It's just that she said it is so honestly it kind of weirdly breaks my heart. You know it is the fellow raspy

ass bitch that like we have been ripped apart for being raspy since the beginning of time and I like that she even says in the song that it just happens when I'm happy. I get raspy. I feel bad.

You should not have to make a song telling people to stop making fun of your voice, you know, just with your life, Jojo. I don't know if you should make that. I feel like it's one of those, like, maybe you shouldn't rent the song. You know, I'm raspy. You see I'm raspy.

You hear I'm raspy. I get raspy. Yeah. I say what you want. If you yell at me, I'm going to cry as another bang of here. Is relatable. Is it written for me? It is written by us and for us.

If you yell at me, I'm going to cry. Who's my dream guest on a podcast? My exes confess and construction vests. And I can't say my R's, but I can't buy a Rolls Royce. Was on the mask singer because I couldn't make the voice. You can act like I can't hear the noise, but I can. My happiness is a choice. That's right.

Carmen never came. Yeah, she's still, I'll stop. But. Don't! Don't! Don't! I'm upset because we can't play this. I want to be listening to it right now.

Rasme. It's Rasme. She's raspy today. Oh, Jojo. I blame my age and the stage, dare I say. She's raspy today. Hey, hey. Leave Jojo alone.

Don't be so raspy. Just keep it classy. Just keep it raspy, raspy, rasper. By the end of the song, you don't remember what the word raspy means, but I think that if you use context clues, just pop the song on again, you'll remember. I think it's just, it is, you know, I think Betty Davis' eyes cover, people were like, wow, this is a diversion from what you have been doing. It's just because she's, but the thing is, it's like, yes, you are raspy, Jojo. But eyes like, like, your eyes like Betty, your Betty Davis eyes cover was just so. intentionally raspy that it was it was a bit much it was a choice it was not just your

rate but but but you know again don't hate me I'm just a little baby and if you yell at me I'm gonna cry I mean I'll get that tattooed on me I'm gonna cry 2025 almost purchased I there's this bumper sticker that says honk at me and I'll cry and it has like like a raccoon that's crying on it and I I don't like putting anything on the outside of my car. I think it would drive my, um, like ADHD brain crazy because then I'd want to like change it.

I, I have a hard time making the choice to put something on the car. But that I've thought about for so long that it's like, or does that just invite like Benson Boone levels of hate? Like, or am I going to get run off the road? People are you never know in this day and age. Back,

grab, you little baby. It was just like next to me on the freeway. I'm like, stop. Stop. As I try to drive down. LAX. I'm really happy for Jojo because the first comment on this song is, as someone who despises

Jojo's previous songs, this is so much better. Genuinely great job, Jojo. So, you know, you have to think when you make a comment like that, is this nice? And that's not nice. But what is the, I just heard this thing for kids. You ask, is it true? Is it helpful? And is it kind? And these are the things you think about before you say something. Maybe we should all, why is that just for kids? Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind?

That's great. You know, this would be, it would be, you know, we could imagine a world where before you comment on someone's YouTube video you think, is this true as helpful as a kind. And the comment, I hate all your work, except this is better. It might be true. I wouldn't call it helpful or kind. You could write it in a nicer way, you know. I think there are ways.

You know, she even says, you know, she can hear the noise. and there's so, man, there's also so many videos of her and, what's his name, Chris Hughes. Yeah, Chris Hughes. It's such a generic name. I know. Generic guy, generic name. Yeah, it is generic white guy name. And they have been, like, there's been so many videos of her, like, somebody gave them her baby.

And there was like this video, and she's like, I wasn't even going to give the baby back. And they were just like, playing with a baby for a really long time. And it was just like, man, they're really. Jojo really wants a child. They're just... She really wants a child now. They're in that phase of young love that Holden finds very annoying when people feel like they're the first people to experience love. He does hate love.

He hates love. I do think he actively hates love. But, yeah, they are the couple in your, like, if you were friends with Jojo and Chris right now, you'd be like, are we going to invite Jojo and Chris? Because they're going to be, like, dry humping in the corner. Yes. But also, we've all been there. We've all dry humped in the corner I mean, don't even look

at the corner spots of the library Man, think about that. Oh, baby. What was that movie? Was that also me and you and everyone we know? I know that's pooping into each other's butts forever, but is that also where he would come on the books? Sorry, spoiler alert. Squid in the whale!

Sorry, I was asking Adam. I knew Adam would know, I knew. I'm like, oh, does Adam know about I was... Did we talk about... Jackie, did we talk about the video? This is a couple weeks ago now, but I think it was the Yankee game, the guy fingering his girlfriend at a Yankee game.

What? No. Oh my God. I should have included it. Yeah, if it comes up if you search Yankee game, the first result is finger. Yankee game finger bang. Yeah. Whoa.

I'm just going to send you this post link. I don't know if you can watch it. Finger popping your girl at Yankee Stadium is wild. Yeah. No, it is amazing. Especially in a, you know, since we do unfortunately live in a, you know, you know, since we do unfortunately live in a world where everything gets videotaped. You just can't do a fingering at a Yankee game.

No, not when there's like, there's kids around. Yeah. Just, like, you want to go be disgusting and bang in the fucking stadium bathroom? Sure. Fine. Go get yours, but don't do it in front of it. It's a family. What is it probably in the middle of the day?

It's like that's just daylight. It's broad daylight. And they are, all right. I'm looking at it. And so there are a lot of empty seats around them, which would make. sense. I would probably move away. There's so many videotaping them if you're most bad. Oh yeah, man. Wow, wow, wow, wow.

That is, you know, it's not my bag, especially you know, as you get older and you realize how illegal and embarrassing it would be to be arrested. It's like, can you imagine having to explain at this age to your

parents that I got arrested and be like, oh, why? And it's not like, oh, I was standing up for, you know, the rights of this country. They were like, oh, I was too insane. And it was just like, no, it's like, my mom would be proud if I got arrested for civil disobedience.

I think she would feel differently if I got, I'm like, I was getting finger blasted while eating a dodger dog, mom. But I didn't put any chup on the dog, mom. And as long as there's no chup, no problem in this household. But I, you know, I don't know how much mustard he had on his fingers. and I don't know what he was getting in there with. You know, or like, did he use hands, Annie before? I mean, there's no one.

That's also all. I think about how disgusting we used to be. And I just think about, I'm like, your hands touched so many things. And then you're going to put them inside of me. Yeah. No, thank you. I'm okay. Yeah.

It's like, it really, I can't imagine. I feel like if somebody tried doing that to be able to, like, you wash your hands? Go to the bathroom first. Go to the bathroom first. and wash you hair. Wash it for at least 45 seconds, at least. Well, but thank you for bringing that to my attention. I needed you to know, yeah, I did mean to include it in the links just because, yeah, it's not pop culture news, but we do try to keep our tabs on who's getting finger blasted in public.

Always, always got to make sure. And this is a, it's a weird transition to try and start talking about the show Wednesday, but yesterday was Wednesday, and I was watching the show. So that's my transition from it. I guess in my head I was trying to think of how much I want to watch Louise Guzman and Catherine Zeta Jones bang it out. I think that I'm now finally at this place because I will throw it out there. Did you watch the first season of Wednesday? I didn't. Gideon did and he loved it, but I did not watch it.

It was delightful and I mean, I know that I think everybody got annoyed because everybody was just talking about the dance, I feel like, and I think a lot of people, maybe just me. I only remembered being more annoyed by it and then I jump back in for the second season. Man, I think I like the second season even better. Really? There's only four, they dropped four episodes. They're doing the whole, like, dropping first half of the season, then dropping the second half of the season because, you know, it takes two years to make. And they want just a little bit more PR on it.

And I, you know what? While it is annoying when I hit the end of the fourth episode, it was like, that's it. I understand and I appreciate what they're doing here. But you know what? There's more Adam's family in it. And that's what I wanted. I like that the first one that they were trying, it was more about, like, the school. And it is still obviously lots about the school.

But I like that they brought the whole family into it more. And so it's not just Wednesday. And I think it actually fleshes out the whole, like, it doesn't, the camera doesn't always have to be just Gen Ortega. Like, I feel like it is. And now they're letting everybody else shine. And I'm really enjoying it. Also, my friend Heather Mottorazzo is in it.

Right. Makes me so happy to see. always love seeing her and I just hit her up and it was like, and it really is great. Only four episodes, you can swallow it pretty fast. And if you've watched the first season, just throwing it out there. Also, I know that I had sprinkles of discussing weapons on Tuesday. Yes.

But I do need to say, go see weapons. Yeah. It's great. It is from the creator of Barbarian. That's not directed towards you necessarily, MJ. Uh-huh. Although you would like it, I don't know if Gideon would like it. Is it a horror?

It is a horror. But there's also like dark comedic moments in it because, again, it's the same guy that did Barbarian. He was in White's Kids You Know. He's a sketch person and adds, like it's genuinely funny at points. Like it breaks great tension. It's got great. I'm not going to say much about it. All I'm going to say is that I went into it knowing nothing.

I loved that I knew nothing, and I really enjoyed it. I was, I was into it. In fact, as someone that was a little disappointed by long legs, just because I loved Nick Cage so much and I actually wanted like a thousand percent more of that character, I did really, like, I feel like, I know it's not fair to compare those two movies, but I just feel like it gave me that kind of same

where it's not just like a slasher. it is a it's a genuinely well-written movie yeah that has horrific parts to it okay it's like a heredity you know it's like in the world of like a heredity it's like one of those kind of like where it's just a good movie yeah it's a great movie and surprisingly funny at moments I mean anytime you can watch Josh Brolin do anything I'm down yeah I know I can't also it had on Adelvie in it

on her dad on her dad she was releasing bunnies all throughout I didn't understand why. No, I'm talking about Julia Garner, who played Onadelvie. Julia, I can't. Not actually. Adelvie. It would be a weird choice, though. Very interesting if they went that way with it.

But, I mean, speaking of going that way with it, yeah, we're going to talk about Marty Supreme just a little bit because Goop, it's like we knew, you know, we didn't know. Her PR knew that Marty Supreme was going to be coming out, which Goop is in a new in the new saffty, not the Safty brothers, just Benny Safty's movie. One Safty. One Safty down. And it is Timothay, Shamma Ding Dong, and Goop and some other hot person. And it seems like there's lots of make kiss in it.

And you know what, bro? I don't want to watch Goop Make Kiss. I don't want to. Yeah. But I'm going to go see it. And I am, you know, I like Benny Safty a lot. I just, man, hearing her talk about how much acting. is just like a, I mean, I'm so good at it, but I hate making all this money and doing acting.

Like, it's just so, the book. You can hear the frown always on her face. That's the thing. The book has just destroyed whatever goodwill I might have had left for Gwenna's acting career. All of it. And really, all of it is gone. I used to be able to separate her as goop at her acting. And I did have like, you know, it was like, yeah, she's been in a bunch of great movies.

and then you read the book. And, you know, and it is true that the book, we got somebody being like, well, you know, is this, is this in the world of like, because the biographer didn't work with her, is it almost like a kind of in the world of blind items where it's like gossip? Cat scratch fever.

Yeah. Like, where it's like the, the Gwyneth book is like, you know, gossip more than, you know, might it be unfair to have this whole 448 page book about Gwyneth come out and not speak to her directly. But I don't know. She's a real biographer, you know, she's not, it's not, I don't think, I think there's a pretty big separation from somebody who, like, wrote a definitive biography on Anna Wintour

and wrote this whole thing, talked to 250 people or whatever. I don't think that's the same thing as, you know, just regular old Goss. But you just really get a sense from the book that Gwenneth Peltro has a disdain for, you know, everyone. And also acting. She has a disdain for food, for bad people, for regular people,

for poor people, and for the work of acting. And I think that that is then, I'm like, well, all right, so you're going to do more movies. Because, again, I like Winneth Peltro,

the actor more than I like Wineth Paltrow, the, you know, health food guru. Yes. So I guess, I don't know. It's her personality.

That's the problem, which is, it's her personality. it's a bitchy thing to say. But again, I am willing to concede that I have enjoyed

Guineath Paltrow in a number of movies and perhaps I will enjoy her in this one. Yes, because again, she was great in Royal Tennabob.

Like, she, like, there are moments. Royal Tendabom's doing a lot of heavy lifting for Gwendoz overall vibe, I think.

Yeah. Because it's such a good movie. You know, MJ, I was going to watch, I was like, you know what, I need to watch Shakespeare

in love again. I really need to give it another go. And I meant to do that before this episode, and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I know it is a good movie. I know it is.

I would watch Royal Tenenbombs again if I'm going to watch a Gwenith movie. This is the thing. But also Royal Tenenbombs is like I feel like I've seen that a million times. I love the soundtrack so much. And she's good. She can play it straight. Like I do, I will admit that for a person who seems deeply humorless in her life,

she has effectively played a fun dark humor to her character in that movie. She is funny. I think that's why people get charmed by her the more they hang out with her because it's like she's so biting she's so acidic she's such a bitch and she is always looking out

for herself and herself only but also apparently she's pretty funny and because I think she's so blue also people are so surprised that she's crass she loves to talk about vaginas that's the one thing we know from goo and she curses all the time

and like she used to the smoke like just like chains smoke cigarettes and like, she, I can see that like, I understand why some people are like, but I can't love it. Totally. We, sorry, we know, I don't know. I know this is, we don't need another platform. Go listen to celebrities.

Yes, we really, we go into it because we're going to be finishing. Oh, we're finishing the book next week. We are getting into the world of Goop and it is just so, uh, danger filled that it, is it's kind of crazy for so many people being like, this is dangerous, this is dangerous, don't do this is dangerous, and her being like, yeah, but like, what they can keep suing me, I guess. But you know what's not dangerous and what is the world that we want to live in? The world of Pamela Anderson.

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Pamela Anderson. That's all so nice. I guess no one really wants to live in the world of Ganga Hill, but I think you just happen to find yourself in the world of King of Hill. But yes is going the way of Megan Markle and she is selling

pickles but it's $38 for a jar of pickles. You want to hear a double standard so fast to make your headspan? Double standard alert. Like this is huge alert. We are, you can, I'm sure, come at us. Like I'm sure that we are also incorrect.

But I tell you, man, Megan Markle sells the jams for $50 and it annoys me. Pam Anderson sells the pickles for $38 and I say bless you. I say yes, and sickles. Yes, give me the pickles. Okay, two things. First of all,

you keep saying that Megan Markle's jam is $50 and it's not. I think it's like $15. It may as well be $50 in my brain. It's still a lot for a jam. It's more for a jam. It's like not that much for jam. Jam is actually like it can be pretty expensive. You're right.

I'm spreading misinformation. Am I being a goop right now? I'm sorry. I don't mean to goop all over you. I don't mean to scoop my goop on you. No, but to that, but, but yes, Pamela Anderson is now selling these 38 jars of spicy floral garden fresh cucumbers. And yes, we think it's great. But also, also, also, all of the proceeds are going to the California Wildlife Foundation. Okay. So I don't know what Megan Markle does with her proceeds. And they probably go to a charity as well. And we probably just pay their security staff, MJ. They have to pay the security staff. And I'm not even honestly being facetious. Like, I do understand that they need the security staff. We now know from reading Harry's book that because that was another thing I rolled my eyes at before I read the book. I was like, oh, my security staff. And then I was like, oh, I guess you are.

No, they both have a large target on your back. Yeah. Yeah. I get that taxpayers of the UK used to pay for your security. And then they don't anymore. And then they took that away. And now you have to pay millions. of dollars per year for your security. So you know what? If you're pocketing the money from those 50

jars at jam, 50 times 15, how much money is that for you to pay for your security? So I support you, Megan Markle. Get that cheddar. But yeah, Pamela Anderson is doing it too. And the pickles look good. And this is her statement, what a delicious journey. And to meet at their glorious home was a kindred becoming. The care that goes into these grounds and into sincere collaborations is authentic. I don't even know what she's talking about. All the proceeds go to the California Wildlife Center. Wildlife Center. Okay. So whatever. I think it's great. Tell those pickles. I also do love that at the top of like them selling the pickles, it says straight up, to be honest, six months ago, we didn't know a ton about pickles. Other than that, well, you like them. But in this house,

when Pamela Anderson calls with an idea, the answer is always a resounding yes. And you know what? Thanks for that. That's great. You're not trying to come out as the leading new reign of pickles. It's just that you guys are trying to raise money for this organization. And, you know, in 100% of the proceeds go to the California Wildlife Center. I think this is great. This is no-brainer.

Also, I'm going to already say thank you to Book Thief who said that we've got some pickles coming to us. Yeah, we're going to get the family. I'm going to have to fly to L.A. You're going to have to because I'm not going to save any for you. You have to get here so that we can eat. I'll wait. I'll wait for you every day. I know.

I need these pickles. Maybe I buy them myself. And I also think a jam and pickles are kind of similarly things where it's like it seems easy to do, but maybe hard to do well. But I think it's probably easier to do a pickle well than a jam. Yeah. Yeah, it is. It is easier to do a pickle well. Because, I mean, really, like if you've got the basics, you really don't need much.

But I think that like, but it's also like the canning process. procedure, though, for both jams and, I guess not pickles. So you know what? Jams are harder. Wow. Jams are harder. Pay the $50. Pay the fake $50. Jams are harder. You don't want to give anyone botulism. No, exactly. I mean, because that that is, you know, but I also don't know the world of pickling. Actually, Adam does. Can you get botulism for making bad pickles, Adam? You can. Yeah. It's all canning. It's all canning. Wow. See, I guess I'm so used to like a quick pickle. I'm a bitch that does a quick pickle. I know. No, I love a quick pickle. I do a quick pickle. I do a quick pickle. I do a quick pickle.

I do a quick pickle. Oh, I'll do a quick pickle. And I do think that this is connected to like the world Goop wants to live in is a world without like, you know, regulations. And I feel like I don't want to just have to trust that my life and Megan Markle or Pamela Anderson's hands to make sure they're not going to give me botulism. So I don't know. I'm, I want, I, again, we love our double standards. We love our double standards. I love, I love to be mean to one woman and nice to another woman.

Yeah. And I hope that we start pitting them against each other. Oh, wait, they already tried that. And Pam Anderson exed it. She said, not gonna, not giving it to you. And we love you, queen. She didn't take the bait. And we think that's nice.

And are we as dignified as Pamela Anderson? No, no, no, no. No, we're just doing a baby. I'm just respecting. We're just doing a baby. If you yell up you, I'm going to cry. I'm respite. I do know that that is true that I will start crying.

I'll start crying right now if you want me to. I'll cry over the pickles. You have to get through your birthday without crying. Birthday Eve, you know, well, that's no. Birthday Eve is for all the crying that you want. Like, this is really when you got to, I got to get it all out. So I hope everybody came to the stream, the birthday stream, because I am planning on drunkenly crying. Yeah, all right.

That's good. Get it out. It's fine, right? I think it's good to really get into the fact that I feel like many years I pretended like I only loved my birthday and why pretend anymore, you know? Yes. No, if that is one. It's good to be free.

It's good to be free. I love Leo season. I love lifting up and supporting my other Leo's. I have, there's so many birthdays around this time of year. I don't know if everybody's circle is as full of Leo's as our circle is. And I'm sorry for you if it's not. What do you have? Do you have a lot of one?

Well, you know, my brother and my kid, both Leo Virgo Cusps. Cusps, there were cuss babies. but do you have like in your group of friends, do you have like a lot of one? Like is there ever a time of year where it's a lot of birthdays together? November, November. See, I feel like every friend group has the one time of year

where it's like we have, we have all of August and we also have Torah season. Like we have the full like from the end of April to the second week of May. I think I have like 11 birthdays like of friends of mine. Like it's like back to back to back to back. And there's just, it's kind of.

It's kind of fun because I feel like you get caught up in the current of it. Yeah, yeah. No, for us, that's November. Turkey, you know a lot of turkeys? Because all the turkeys are born in November. All turkeys are born in November. It's spreading misinformation here on page seven. Yeah, no, I'm just, I'm sad right now about, not about Leo season.

I love Leo season, but if you open Instagram or any other social media right now at this time of August, everything is back to school, back to school, back to school. And that gives me the sads. We're already back to school. L.A. is already back to school, which is crazy. I know. I think most of the country goes back to school in the middle of August, but the Northeast, they do September to June. And so I'm over here like, stop telling me to get my kids lunchboxes ready. I'm not wearing shoes out for another couple of weeks. Hell yeah. Get off my back. Get that tape worm. Ringworm. It's ringworm, not tapeworm. I'm scared of the outdoors, MJ, so I just assume like the second I hear something about an outdoor fun activity, like having your shoes off in the grass, all I can think, this is the beauty of living with, some might say, like a level of debilitating anxiety.

Yeah, yeah. That, you know, I hear shoes off and I think ringworm. Yeah. And I think, how am I going to get sick? No, I thought about you a lot when I was at the water park hotel because I was in my, yeah, because it's the happiest place. on earth to me. I would rather be nowhere else. Wait, but isn't it indoors? It is. I would rather have it be outdoors. I would rather go to Waddles. Wisconsin Dells is the happiest place on earth actually. But this was an indoor

water park. I know that it's not carpeted, but I imagine an indoor water park, like also the water park is also carpeted. And also they used to allow it be a smoking indoor water park, but they got rid of that a couple of years ago, you know? Yeah. No, it's just, it's, it is like a child casino. It is a casino for children. And so it does have that. It feels like it should smell like old smoke.

I was literally talking to my friend Cass just yesterday about this. I was saying, we were talking about, we were dreaming about going on a bitchcation together. And I was like, can we? I was like, there needs to be like a spacation for kids that you send them on without their parents, that they will be chaperone the entire. time, but it's like them just like playing video games and like hunting each other for sport. Like whatever kids like to do on their own whenever, you know, like Kid Nation, you know,

if you think about like in that kind of world, like they're going to create their own society and they're going to create a hierarchy and Lord knows what's going to happen in the week that they're at the Spockation. And I like that we only ever refer to it as a Spockation, even though we all kind of know it's just a casino for children, that they can openly smoke in, which I think give the kids the place to do that. Get the place to smoke. Try it. Try it. So that they can get out of their system. Get sick. Go throw up. Go smoke a whole pack. Go throw up about it. And I think that they need

a spot to go have that. So then you can come with us on bitchescation. And then getting can sit in silence. Well, you know, this. He can sit in fucking silence. This is, I've always dreamed. This is not exactly what you're describing. But my friend is in Australia right now. She's from Australia. She's there with her kid visiting family. And she said that in Australia, there are a number of like outdoor pubs that also have playgrounds attached to them. Yes. So that the parents can get hammered and the kids can play. And I think it's a great idea.

And I always wanted to create in New York City a chain of bars where it is like a kind of gladiator style. There's a center and it's soft play, safe, you know, big foam blocks, ballpits, etc. where the kids play. And then around it is like stadium seating where the parents drink and they can supervise their kids. And jeer at them be like, yeah,

you're doing it right. No, there's no actual fighting. It just looks like glad eater. It's not, but I wanted to be like medieval times, but with kids in the middle. Right.

No, I think as a society, we have decided that there shouldn't be alcohol combined with where children play. And I think that's probably for the best. It's like just, make sure you check IDs. Like, don't be given a fucking, you know, a Gibson to a four-year-old.

You just, like, think with your brain and out of your ass. And I will say at the Water Park Hotel, the open container policy is a liberal and abundant. And every parent, every parent is drinking and every parent is on the phone complaining about their kids talking about how much they're drinking. I bet. The amount of elevators I shared with women who were drinking a bud light at 10 a.m. Oh, yeah. On the phone being like, well, I'm drinking. Got to.

helping. And I'm like, you guys, we're at the water pro cartel. Why are you so sad? My God, can you, I can't, can you imagine. I would love it. If one, you know, in my brain at some point, we'll have like, I feel like we'll get to a point where we can produce a show where I'm forced to go do these kinds of things. Oh, I would take you. Oh, I would love to take you. I think I'd become goop. Like, I think that that would be the first level. This water has micro ingredients toxins. You want me to go where? It's going to disrupt my gut microbiome to go into that water.

Thank you. Thank you for thinking about I do have parasites in my blood. So do you want me at the water park or? Blood parasites that prevent me from going in the water park. So, yeah. Actually, I have to be strapped to a chair with a blue drink duct tape to my hand like I'm Edward 40 hands. but it's just two like blue drinks, but like they're in the big, like, do they have like the big hurricane glasses? Oh yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Big time. Bro. You can get so much alcohol at the Water Park Hotel. In fact, it seems dangerous to me because there is water everywhere. I bet. Vigilant with children and water. No, I imagine that I'm sure people are getting hurt all over the place. And also not to, maybe this is, you know, if this is too much, we can take it out.

But I believe that you also explained a new phrase to the girls when you guys were at the at the water park hotel. Well, it was the, oh. To the kids. You were talking about Gideon because Gideon was having a couple of issues. I can't remember what the phrase was, but. Blast one out.

How do you not? Thank you. I texted you at Holden to say that I accidentally taught the kids the phrase blasted one out. Blast one out. Listen, we've been traveling for 13 days. You can't travel for 13 days without introducing the phrase, blast one out to your children. Blast one out, especially when you got.

travel belly and you know what does it mean to blast one out and I was like I think you can figure it out so now that's part of their vocabulary and I and they just love poop and farts so much that I imagine their lives were just made they're at a waterpark hotel they learn the phrase blast one out like I feel like that's a core memory like when you watch kids make core memories like oh oh I'm watching like in not in and out that's the Kevin Klein movie what's it inside inside out yeah yeah yeah the core memory of the core memory is that the core memory is it yeah yeah the core memory but my mom introduced me to the frames. Blast one out at the Water Park Hotel. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's cute. Just like, you know, when I taught Freddie that the Sims is just like a dollhouse, but in the computer and you can do whatever you want.

And now all Freddie wants the Sims. And now every time I say I need to go to work, she thinks that I'm going to play the Sims. And she's like, is it your work where you play the game with Jackie? And I'm like, I do more than that, okay? I need to add. Before today, I was watching clips of Taylor Swift on the Kelsey Brothers podcast, and they're like, what do you do it? And I was like, I'm getting ready for work. And they were like, why is this you work? And I was like, I don't know. I don't know. I can't explain that. 15 years ago, we had a dream, you know, to learn about celebrity gossip. And here we are.

And now I know that Jennifer Aniston and Gwyneth Peltro gossip together about how shitty Brad Pitt was as a boyfriend. And I think that's nice. I think that's the most relatable thing I've learned about Gwyneth Peltro. And it's not even in her book. It's just an article. Well, so Jennifer Anderson had a big vanity fair feature a couple of days ago. I was just saying because Jennifer Anderson is everywhere right now. And I was like, okay, what's going? So there's a Vanity Fair article.

Zen and the art of being Jennifer Aniston. Is she about to drop something? Like, she's, it's just, there's been so many articles talking about, like, how she feels about, like, apparent, like, there's, oh, God, I read a bunch of sad articles, like, talking about, like, the cast of friends and how they had been mourning Matthew Perry for years before his death. And like just like to, oh, God, I got so sad reading that. And I was like, I know that I want to read Matthew Perry's memoir at some point. But I knew that I haven't been in the place to do it. And I knew we're going to get there at some point. I know. I do want to read it too. But I'm, it's

going to be, it's going to be hard. But yeah, this, Vanity Fair, I haven't, I haven't read it, but I read the highlights. And it's fun. She seems fun. Is this excerpt from the Vanity Fair feature on her? I can't help but ask, the author writes, I can't help but ask, do she and her friend, Gwyneth Paltrow ever talk about Brad Pitt? Oh, of course, Anderson says, waving her hands and sounding everything like Rachel Green.

How can we not? We're girls. I think it's cute. I think it's like, that's like a, oh, celebs, they're just like us and you're going to shit, especially they can both men. Think of the freedom that they both feel like they have now, that they can openly say how much they disliked Brad Pitt,

because now we all know what a piece. piece of shit. Brad Pitt was for a long time. I don't know. I know that he's been sober for a while, so I don't know where it has gone in hopefully his healing journey. But it is kind of crazy that everybody knows that. So that it's not even a controversy that it's being said that Jennifer Anderson and Goop talk about what a shitty boyfriend he was, you know? Yeah, I think that's nice. Also, Jackie O'all love this. Every Sunday, Aniston gathers 10 to 15 people for dinner, including her, like, one of her dear friends, Jason Bateman. With hooves?

Jason Bateman is her chosen family, allegedly. Oh. So she loves Jimmy Kemmel and his wife. But isn't that nice that she has a big Sunday supper every Sunday? You know, I feel like Jennifer Aniston, you know, is one of those people that has been talked about in our lifetime has been talked about seemingly since the beginning of time. Right. And I feel like she just.

has so many qualities that I should find annoying. Like even like every article is like in her crystal filled home. Like she's like, you know, very big and day interior design, but also like big and clean eating. It's like it's a lot of. Yeah, that's there is a part where she's like, Goop and I also exchanged like tips about wellness and that I immediately lost my boner. Yeah.

And there, but like she's not trying to shove it down anybody else's throat. And I think that that's also like seems like she. She keeps quite a rigorous life. Yeah, she keeps it, right. She keeps it high and tight. But, but, yeah, and as we've been talking about, she got, I mean, hard to think of another woman who got fucked in the public eye as much as Jennifer Anniston. Also crazy, even like truly, man. It's not many women got in the public eye.

But she got in a unique way. Yeah. I mean, she's just been actually ripped apart for 30 years. Yeah. Every week. shamed for not being a mom every week for 30 years. Always shamed. Or like being single or always shamed about somebody leaving.

Always shamed. And it's like, man, the bitch is just trying to get through it, y'all. And I feel that like I, although everything I hear about her in real life is that she is actually like what people say about Goop, pretty chill. Yeah. And actually like a fun hang. And like you said, has a lot of comedians. friends too that so it's like she likes to have chill hangs yeah yeah no this actually i think i actually i'm going to read this vanity fair piece because um it actually is pretty interesting and she talks about

the tabloid coverage of her and she talks about kind of you know how she's gotten through all of that misogyny and um you know her relationship with fame and yeah she doesn't make me want to scream and rip my hair out the same way that gwyneth peltro does so i think i will read the vanity fair story. But yeah, you know, I don't know. I feel like I feel like I'm happy for her and I need to get Gwyneth Paltrow out of my head. Reading this book is fucking with me. Okay. It is, it really is because every moment, honestly, I'm glad that I finish because I have been listening to the seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo, which is great and it is just as great as everyone. In fact, at some point, I think that it would be a much longer celebrities, even though it's not a memoir per se, but it is a fictional

memoir. Yeah. And it's, and they're making it into, I don't know if they're making it into a series or a movie, but I know that there's a lot of talks about it. I think, was it Anne Hathaway that's said to be in it? Oh, yes. Also, and sorry to pivot, but that reminds me that I want, the one, the one, the one that they were on Helen Mirren and Breers-Brasn and their new movie.

007? No, Helod Mirren and Pierce Prasden. It's about old people. Oh, are they kissing? Are they kissing, MJ? What is the movie called Thursday's Murder Club? It is a book and also now it's going to be a movie and I want to read the book and watch the movie The Thursday Murder Club.

It is a novel about like a spicy retirement home. And it is with Helen Mirren and Pierce Brubbner. And it is extremely our shit, Jackie. So I think maybe we read the book and watch the show. Just look at the promotional pictures from this, the Thursday Murder Club. Also the cast, Helen Mirren, Pierce Brosnan, Ben Kingsley. It is literally like murder mystery at the nursing home. It's such a good idea.

Like, all-star cast. It's going to be... Whoa. Oh, even just... Well, immediately this fucking headline. filming the Thursday Murder Club on Netflix felt more like a college reunion than working, according to Helen Mirren and Pierce Brosnan. Oh, oh my God.

It's going to be fun. Did Pierce Brosnan get even hotter? I know, yes. Bro. The answer is, yes. Bro. Yeah. I know I'm getting old, all right?

I understand. Birthday Eve. But, bro. Yeah. Pierce, Brosden is Mbabo. Bobbo. Oh, I'm in trouble. No, I'm telling you.

Let's skip middle adulthood and go straight. to old age when I look at this. I love it. Look at, yeah, just, just again, look at all of the promotional materials for this and you will absolutely adore it. This is going to be my next book that I read, the Thursday Murder Club.

So if anyone wants to dream. And I think it's, yeah, I think it's in the, I also, I started the seven wives of Evelyn Hugo and then I, or seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo, and then I fell off, but I will finish it because I love, you know, me, that's my sex. It's so, I mean, I am just so wrapped up in it. It's, I, I'm glad.

I needed to, like you said, I needed a break from Goop and where my brain has been. I was like, I also needed a little break from Smut. I was like, I need something that's kind of in the middle. Yeah. And that's the Seven Hustoms of Evil and Hugo, apparently. Yeah, no, I think that's great. But also, you're right, we should start reading Thursday Murder Club because that really is released on August 28th. Yes, that's like in like 10, yeah, it's like in a couple of weeks.

All right. All right. We've got, ooh, we've got things to get excited for. man. Speaking of, have you got, I know that you've been trapped with family. You haven't gotten into perfect match at all yet. I am, were you able to. I'm so sorry.

I'm woeful. You have to be sorry. You are with, you are with family. Perfect match, surprisingly. Not usually a whole family gets together to watch perfect match. I can't possibly watch it with my family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that.

But I would say, I know that I just randomly said King of the Hill earlier, man. As someone that was a big fan of King of the Hill in the past, they just did a reboot of it of the family 10 plus years later in a, like in a current time period. And they did a season of it with Bobby grown up. And it was great. They did such a wonderful job of writing like they used to, but bringing King of the Hill into 2025, and they did it in such fun ways.

Like even how they grew up Bobby, it was like, that makes so much, like this all makes so much sense. This all fucking works with the story. It's just, I haven't looked too far into like the making of it, because honestly, we just swallowed it so fast, and I'm immediately sad that there's not more King of the Hill. Did you ever get into it?

I mean, I've seen a lot of King of the Hill. I definitely watched. Because it was on all the time. It was on all the time. But I, and I loved Mike Judge, you know, so I liked it, but I was, it was never like my, you know me. I was a, I was a Simpsons disciple. And then I was, my, Mike judge was Beavis and Butthead.

I was, I worshipped at the altar of Beavis and Buthead. But I just for some reason didn't really like carry a candle for King of the Hell. Well, I imagine it seemed like on the outside not really your bag, but then you watch it. I think it's one of those shows that a lot of people assume what it's about. 100%. And it's not, and not like in the depths of like an adventure time, but it is like in the scope of like,

but these characters are not just 2D. It's like it's just, it's a well-written show. It is a well-voice-acted show. It is just, it is a fun. I just, I've always liked it. And I really love.

And honestly, it's huge inspiration to me between Pamela Adlin and Britney Murphy and Kathy and Jimmy for voice acting. Specifically, King of the Hill had fun female voices in a way that, like, because I never really, because I never got into The Simpsons. So I never got to experience like how crazy it is that Bart was voiced by a woman. And he was like, I didn't understand that at the time. So King of the Hill, once I found out, I'll never forget in high school that I was like, Peggy Hill is Kathy and Jimmy.

and then equating her to ocus pocus. And I just have always wanted to be Kathy Nogimmy, including Veronica's closet. I've always want to be her. I want her career. I want, like, I just love her. And this is my relationship with, like, Dan Castellanetta and Hank Azaria. Like, when I find out you can be one person who does all these different voices on The Simpsons, like, and that you can, yeah, I mean, I've always just worship Dan Castellaneta specifically. Hank Azaria too.

You know I love, thank you all. Page 7 listeners sending me when Hankasaria does like the things where he'll sing like espresso, but in all the different characters of the Simpsons. I love Hank Azaria so much. Yeah. Man. And, you know, I know that at first he did not really do that well to being, respond that at well initially to Harry Condo Blu calling him out about Apu's voice.

And then he, my understanding, I'm remembering correctly, they, they, they charted. And he responded. he had an initial kind of defensive reaction. Then he was like, you know what? I'm going to engage with this more. And I think, yeah, he grew and he learned. And I think that that's also nice. I feel like that allowed me to continue my adoration of Hank Azaria.

Yes. And I just really, man, I mean, my issue is birdcage. It's my first love of Hank Azari. So even though I didn't have Simpsons, I was obsessed with Hank Azaria in the bird cage. Yeah. Because he just blew my fucking mind. Yeah. Oh, my God.

He's a combination of Lucy and Ricky when he's dancing in the, it's great. And if you haven't watched Dan Castellanetta interviews, also Harry Shear, all of the Simpsons voice actors. I mean, Harry Shearer is just unbelievable talent. But like, watch it, Dan Castellaneta is this kind of like skinny, bald guy and watching him become Homer, like in like late night interviews and stuff. When I was a kid, I was just like, oh my God. You know. Coolest guy on earth, Dancastle-Laneta. And it's just, it's fun when it's like voice acting.

I love hearing people inspired by different voice acting things because it's like back then you had to go search it out. Yeah, totally. You had to go look for it. I feel like a lot more than nowadays. It's wonderful to see voice acting get so celebrated in the last like 25 years. I feel like it's really. exploded in ways that, um, they always hope that it would.

When I was teaching, I used to do a, like, I guess 30 years. I used to do like, try to do like, like a day on puppetry and a day, a day on voice acting where I would show them, um, because SpongeBob was still so big at the time. So I'd show them like videos of Tom Kinney doing the voice of SpongeBob and like try to be like, try to be like, what you're seeing for little kids, be like, what you're seeing is a bunch of actors sitting around and reading this script. And it was always fun for kids to be like, that's what SpongeBob looks like.

And it's like, yes, he's perfect. Yes, series great. Not the other SpongeBob. That guy's not perfect. That's the bad SpongeBob. We haven't heard anything about Ethan Slater lately, have we? No, it's because there was a showmance and because they're not in relationship anymore.

There's no way they're in a relationship anymore, right? Yeah, I think so. I haven't, he's really... Don't worry. The second half is coming out. So soon the PR wheels will be turning and we're going to be like, can you believe that a month and a half ago

we were saying we didn't hear about SpongeBob anymore because it's going to come back in full force when the second half comes out. Now, this makes a lot of sense that you brought up the Helen Mirren Pierce Brosan thing because I included this. It was just something that I saw randomly. Jimmy Fallon was visibly uncomfortable

after Helen Mirren claimed this popular fruit is bisexual. She was talking about tomatoes. Tomatoes. And she said, I just want to give you a tip about growing tomatoes. You know the little flower? with a good way to get a tomato out of a flower

is to have you tremble the flower, she said, wiggling her finger. It's cute. It is very cute. It's a cute clip. It's just, I'm basically fingering the tomato and Jimmy Thallon is. Not like at the Dodgers game, though. Jimmy Fallon flips out and is really uncomfortable about it.

But yeah, and then she says that tomatoes are bisexual. I think she might not mean bisexual, but whatever. Helen Miran is great and I can't wait to watch the Thursday Murder Club. Cannot emphasize enough how much murder at the old folks home is such a good idea. Honestly, though, in reading it, I don't quite understand when she wiggles her finger and says, I looked it up recently because I had a problem with my tomatoes, so it's bisexual. So you have to go around each flower and go like this. And then she wiggles her finger.

And I'm just like, is it because it's because like they can be both. parts of the plant and in the way of like pollinating. I'm assuming that's something to do with pollination. I don't think she means bisexual. I think she means like the things that have both parts to reproduce. And I don't even know what you. Stamen and the raisin. Like at this point we're not using human words for, for this.

I said stamen. I know stamen. That's something to do with a fucking flower. Thank you. Yeah. The tomato has both parts. It needs to reproduce. And I think she's saying that you can basically finger it and make it

reproduce and Jimmy Fallon looks like he wants to die. Oh, because you have to take the stuff and put it in the other. So you have to like move it in the way that like bees pollinate it from back and forth. And she's talking about external pollination of like putting the pollen in, fingering the flowers. Yeah. And she's saying bisexual, but what she means is both reproductive parts contained within one plant, which is not the same thing as bisexual. But I will let her rock.

I really want to be quoting the murder fist sketch, the magic gardener. But I'm not going to do that because I think out of context, people would be scared. But I need you to know that they are running through my brain and it's really all I want to be saying. But sometimes you got to be like a big block and say, no, Jackie, you can't, even though that's all your brain is thinking about right at this moment. Yeah. Murder fist quotes don't, they don't always translate. They don't always. They don't translate to a non-murface context.

Before we get out of here, I know we got to get out here. Cody Brown on Special Forces, are we going to watch the show to watch him hopefully cry more? I have never, before I saw this story, I had never learned about Special Forces. Oh, Jojo Siwa. I only know about it because people have said, you got to watch Jojo Siwa in special forces and I still wasn't pushed to do it. But Cody Brown, and for those of you are like, who the fuck is Cody Brown? Which I understand, you haven't watched 20 years of Sister Wives. It is the patriarch of the Brown family from Sister Wives. And also that crazy

bitch from Real Housewives in New Jersey. Oh my God. Yes, Teresa Judeyce and her daughter, Gia. Yeah. Very, I think I got, okay, guys, if you watch Special Forces, is it good at a Do we watch this show? Or is it just like not worth it? You don't even get eliminated. You just fall out. Like there's no elimination. It's just like, will you literally survive?

Can you handle it? Will you have a medical emergency that requires you to leave the show? Not that I'm saying I want Cody Brown to have a medical emergency. It's just that I'd love to watch it if it happen. I just want to see. I don't wish him ill. I just want to watch him not have a good time. If he chooses ill for himself, we will watch.

He's getting paid for it, so I don't feel that fucking bad. Yeah. No, I think Cody Brown really needs to be, I don't know. Yuck. Yuck. But, yeah, I don't know. I'm a Chanel and Christine forever. I'll pull you to the ends of the world.

I'll do anything for you, bitches. I guess I'll watch it, but first I got to catch up on perfect match, and I got to get ready for Thursday Murder Club, which is coming out in late August. Oh, it's going to be great. Yeah, it's going to be great. And I'm excited about, see, at least, if we're going to be sweating from the next three months, at least we're gonna be eating good. Don't hate me.

I'm just a little baby. If you yell at me, I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna cry. We're just a little baby. And if you got us, you're gonna cry. Yes, baby talk is coming back in a big way. Annoy your partners with it. It always is a good time.

Anyway, speaking a good time, we gotta get the hell out of here. And I hope you had a great time on this episode of Second Helppings, because I've got a birthday to go not cry through. Happy birthday to you, Jackie. We are so glad you're here. We're so glad you were born and I hope you have a fantastic birthday. Oh my God. I need a hot dog.

You gotta have a hot dog on your birthday and send in love to all my other Leo's out there. And guys, we'll be back next week with page seven. We're going to be joined by Amber Nelson. and I'm very excited because, baby, that Nelson, she brings the spice of life. Yeah, no, that's going to be great. We also learned from a listener that the reason Chicagoans don't put ketchup on their hot dogs is because it was seen as a way to cover up the bad meat. So it's a point of pride.

You don't have to put ketchup on it. Now, that's what I'm fucking talking about. Anti-chop for life. And yes, does Holden take it personally that I dislike ketchup to such an extent. Yeah. And I like that he still brings it up. up all the time because he does actually take it personally. And that just makes me dig in even more. And I wouldn't do that to most friends, just him. Just him. Thank you, everybody. My name is Jack

Zerowski. You can give me a follow on Instagram at Jack That Worm. You can come hang out with us over on the Patreon, y'all. I mean, you know you want to hear us really goop on goop because we do check out celebrities this week. Also this week was the episode of Buffy that MJ and I watched. And we were floored. I think the next like two or three episodes, I think afterwards I at least cried to you for minutes. But I didn't cry through the episodes. Yes. We're in, we're in peak season five of Buffy. We are really enjoying it. And I want to say thank you to everybody that has given me heads up, but also not spoiling it. I appreciate, I appreciate looking out. And I want to say I love y'all. Thank you so much. Because yes, if you yell at me, I will cry.

And I'll, you know what? Most things will make me cry. We're just a little baby. And you can also, of course, email us page 7podcast. At e-mail.com. Like we said, it's a great place to let us know things we got to know, like why they don't use ketchup in Chicago and why certain people are bad. So we appreciate you guys. So we appreciate you.

And her pickles. And her pickles. And her best. We appreciate you. Love you guys. We love you. And we will be back next week with Amber. Happy birthday, Jackie.

Love you. Bye. Pide'll be better. A second time around. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.