Page 7 - Second Helpings - Dunkies, Drunkies, and Sads

Episode Date: August 1, 2026

This week on Second Helpings, we got a smorgasbord of boooooys with Tom Holland and Jon Bernthal bein' buddies on "Hot Ones" with a PUKE AND RALLY! Jimothy waddles by on his way to the raccoon zoos, but don't PET HIM! Once you get them rabies, thems the stabies. Zendaya gave a masterclass in dodgin' secret leakin' on the red carpet when she switched up her Spiderman red carpet looks from all black, to white, when in CHYNA (take note, Holland!) MJ and Jackie now see the light that Tom Holland CAN dance! Jackie has THOUGHTS on "Nation's Dumbest" and Ice-T ain't buyin' that ain't Napoleon Dynamite. Ben Affleck's had a week, he won "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and lost his mom in a non-Nancy Guthrie type way. Justin Trudeau was just slatherin' sunscreen on Katy Perry's boobs in front of a yacht of people while she's TALKING, and she got stuck crowd surfacing in a giant water bottle, as the crowd refused to return her. MJ has soul merged with their doppelganger Clay Aiken, See if you can spot the differences! They got some music recs for one and all. And finally, Jared Leto is a monster. PLUS SO MUCH MOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hello, it will. Welcome to page seven second helpings. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. And I'm MJ. The story of the week may have been Comic-Con, but your second helping of the week is yet another celebration of vulnerable, masculine friendship, this time in the form of Tom Holland and John Bernthal. Oh, and the hot ones.

And Tom's pukin. You know, we're puking together and we're laughing together. You're right. I don't know. In my head, I was like Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, Jimithee. They're also sweet. what you were referring to up top here. I didn't know where you were going with it.

A couple of good, if we had a scale of like good men in this episode and bad men in this episode, because, you know, obviously there's the Jared Letto stuff. But we're going to talk about Ben Affleck. We're going to talk about John Bernthal and Tom Holland. And I am going to come out as somebody who does not know what Jimothy is. So this is really, this goes to really show that MJ has been locked into lay miss. I think that it's so funny you are currently wearing your do you hear the people saying shirt. I definitely clock that right from the top.

It is also very funny because MJ, MJ's in the season of Les Mis right now and everything you're posting is just everything about all facets of lay miss. And I'm just like, man, MJ's algorithm is not like the other boys' algorithm. I tell you what. Honestly, it's a great place to be. I'm learning about the West End cast history. You know, I'm like, I'm like, I'm really, I'm coming up to Gideon telling him, like, did you know that the Javert we saw on Friday night has been in 4,000 performances?

Four thousand. I mean, it's a lot of performances, MJ. You are correct. It's a lot of performances. It is infinitely interesting to me, but you're right. It's a reprieve. It's infinitely interesting to me. It's a reprieve from whatever else is going on.

in the world. I don't want to know. I know. You're right. But that's why Jimothy is also a reprieve from what you don't want to know in this world as well, MJ, because the internet has found a new mudang. And it has come in the face of Jimothy, the beautiful raccoon in the Seattle area that has taken the internet by storm. And if you look up, Jimothy raccoon, if you look up Jimity raccoon, there is a Google animation of... of Jimothy, like running around, like in front of the display. Yeah, see, there you go. There's the Jimothy face that I've been looking for.

And now welcome to Jimothy content because you just heard the word Jimothy. And now your entire algorithm is going to be about Jimothy, the cute raccoon who everybody, I mean, technically, I think that he's just, he's an unusually shaped raccoon is what he is. I see. I see. I was, I didn't know what I thought Jimith was. What did you think Jimmy was? You thought he was a cricket? Like, what did you think that I was bringing to you? I thought it was going to be like some meme combining Timothy Shalameh and Jiminy Cricket. And I was like, I don't care about that. Why is everyone like, sure, that's clever, but why is everyone talking about only that? I'm so happy to hear it's a raccoon. That's fantastic. And out the gate. He has a funny shape raccoon. He's a funny shape raccoon. They're right about that. I do like that. Of course. There's just as much Jimithy content out there that's like, I love Jimithy, as much as like, leave him alone. Leave him alone. I don't think anyone's bothering, Jimothy.

He's just a viral, you know, sensation in the neighborhood. And so people are proud of him, proud of his journey. And people are already out here. If you look it up, people are already getting tattoos of Jimothy. Like, it happened fast. He's wild. He's not a zoo animal. He's just a wild.

Wild raccoon. Yeah, I know usually we both love to go to the raccoon zoos that I know that they have everywhere. But usually they leave them out there in the trash cans. I really hope that nobody goes close to Jimothy, you know, because if you get, if a raccoon bites you, you got to get a rabies shot. And I learned this because. Okay, MJ, you got to get a rabies shot if we touch Jimothy. Don't touch the raccoon as much as you want to touch Jimmy the friend of mine's kid. woke up with a bat in his room this week.

What? If you wake up with a bat in your room, you have to get a rabies shot because a bat bite doesn't always show up. This is your PSA. You're welcome, everybody. If a bat bites you, you might not know it. And once rabies, we all have read, what is it, Children of a Lesser God, that book with rabies. Oh, we have all read Children of a Lesser God.

I don't think I've heard a Children of a Lesser God drop in a minute, but yeah, we have. I'm bringing it back. And once you have rabies, there's no cure, okay? They're there and a stabies. Come on. Once you got rabies, they're going to go out the children of a lesser God way. And you don't want that, okay? It's better than going out the awakening way, right?

And just putting rocks into your pockets and walking out into the ocean. Sorry, spoiler alert. But yeah, sometimes you choose the children of a lesser God route. Of the many ways to die as portrayed in like 19th century literature, I'm going to say children of lesser Godway, one of the scariest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't pet Jimithy, don't pet any raccoons, okay? No matter how much the mariners want to honor his existence, okay?

We know we're not touching Jimothy. Leave that raccoon alone. Don't domestic. Don't domesticate him. Well, yeah, I don't want him domesticated in that way either. I don't want to blur the lines with Jimothy. He's just a baby. You know you want it.

You know you need it. Give me a Jimithee. Come on. Let me groom you. You know, it's just, I like that he is taking over the internet in a time. This is what you're saying, MJ. We don't want to be thinking about a reality. You know, we don't want to be thinking about going to get a rabies shot.

Honestly, right before this, MJ was just giving us this advice, us meaning me and Adam, because Adam just got stung by a wasp on the way over here, which I am bringing up on the show because we, me and this Midwestern, wonderful human being, talked, he let me talk at him for like a half hour about everything under the sun. And then finally he's like, oh, I'm sure to go get some ibuprofen and I was like, why?

Oh, you know, I just got stung by a wasp. Nothing. And I had been stung by a wasp. I would have been like, wasp, wasp, wasp, wasp, wasp, wops, What? Like, I would have, everything would have been wasp. And I just want to give a shout out to Adam, big for your patience. I don't know how you do it. I mean, already, I don't know how you do it just dealing with us all the time anyway. But just sitting there with a wasp sting. And MJ said apparently baking soda. Baking soda and water and you make a paste. And this is, I have one child who's been stung by a bee many times. And obviously, nobody likes it. Nobody likes it. I've discovered that if you put baking soda paste on it, like, I don't, I don't ask me to explain the science.

It neutralizes the venom. Is it venom? I don't know. Yeah. PH, yep. All right. I'll take it. I will tell you that there is no better test than to see if it works on this child and it does.

And so I keep baking soda with you guys this summer. You know, this is PSA Corner. Rabies shot. Rabies shot. Bring baking soda everywhere. Baking soda everywhere. These are the two things that we need. Wow, I mean, this is, I know that this is why people come here for us to scream about

Jimithy and to get hot baking soda tips. So, yeah. You're welcome. And yes, we will continue on talking about celebrity gossip because you're right. There are many beautiful friendships, masculine friendships on display out here. And that hot ones interview with John Bernthal and Tom Holland is so adorable. It really, it's so funny. I don't know how I always.

I just forever forget that Tom Holland is British, that he has an accent. I just always forget. I made an Instagram story this morning about how now that you told me, was it last week or two weeks ago, that Matthew Reese is Welsh, I am now being fed all these videos of him doing interviews, which I had, again, never seen despite having at least a decade-long crush on the man. And I am so destabilized hearing him speak. Like he sounds so different in his natural accent than he does with his American accent. No, does that make you want to kiss him more or does that make you want to kiss him less? This is what I'm processing. It's not less, but it is different.

I think my crush is rooted in American accent, Matthew Reese, but I'm not upset about the Welsh accent. In fact, the Welsh accent is delightful. Similarly, I fell in love with Idris Elba on the wire where he plays Stringer Bell, who is from Baltimore. And I did not know he was British until, I mean, obviously, I've known that for 15 years now. But when I first saw the wire, I was like, what a beautiful American man. Beautiful British men. British man.

And Tom Holland, all the same thing. I was, because, of course, I went straight to the puking part first, of course. You got to. He got to. And they're hugging and they're puking. And then he's like, oh, it feels good to be the first one to puke. And I was like, that's how you talk, even though I've heard millions. of interviews with Tom Holland.

I know it. Surprised every time. And yet, even though again, my algorithm full Tom Dea, there is so, I mean, it's Jimothy and then there's Tom Dea. And because they are still in the full press circuit right now and just everything is about their love. And everyone's like, did you see when he looked at her? Did you see when the time when they held hands and then he looked down at them holding

hands? And I'm just like, I did. See, I did. And she's just so effervescent on every damn red carpet. She looks like a goddamn goddess. She's beautiful. I feel like the worship of them together. I really, I don't know, it feels, it points to like a how.

What are you about to say, MJ? No, no, it's good. Like how thirsty. You better support me in this love, MJ. No, you're right. Like how thirsty we are for like a, a, um, um, um, a man who worships, a man who worships, you know, a strong, beautiful, powerful woman. And also just like a genuine appreciation for each other in a way that I feel like when I look at a celebrity couple, I'm not usually looking and being like, it really seems like they love each other.

Like usually it just seems so much about this like highly curated presentation of who they are as a public image. And I think that's why it's like when we see moments that look like actual affection and an admirable. between two people were like, give me more, please, sir, I want some more. I think you're right, though, we're so used to seeing it being so performative. And now we're so used to talking about the PR cycles. We're so used to like just being like looking at a relationship being like,

but is it for real or is this all a ploy? Because especially, oh my God, now with like the real introduction of everyone using AI and people putting like people in pictures together or like, you know, Trump in a picture with JFK. You know, it's like things like that that people are putting out that you, you know, so we don't trust so much of what we're seeing. You know what I mean? We don't trust, period. There's no trust, zero trust. And so when we see a man genuinely loving his wife, we're like, oh my God.

It's so nice. The fact that I know that I'm still the foundational part of why I love that. is the fact that they wanted a private wedding. And I know that that is such a crazy thing. Because it's like, you know, they're celebrities. So I imagine that there's a, you feel some sort of push to share it with other people. And or at least have multiple weddings.

So you have one that's closed off and one that's bigger. And who knows? Maybe that's what they're going to end up doing. And good for them. Have a couple parties, babes. You know? You deserve it. Well, it's interesting.

Because we've, like, I've gotten like, like, hate feedback over the years being like you... From who, MJ. No, just like, you know, critical feedback being like, you know, you like celebrities are people too.

And like do you, you know, if the show is like kind of shitting on celebrities, what about celebrities are people too, etc. And I think that that's true. Celebrities are people too. And obviously as we were talking about like last week with like Christopher Nolan reading the comments and everything, it's like, yeah, they are people,

they have feelings. But I think that with some celebrities and especially like before social media, like when we were growing up celebrities, it was like a celebrity is a person, but also they're the image they present. Like they are the product. There are a team of people. To every celebrity is a team of people. Right, right. They are a product that's being sold and inside that product there's a person.

And I feel like that's why the Taylor wedding was so fascinating to me because it felt like the person and the product had been ultimately, it was the ultimate flattening of the person in the product. But I think that it's like it's not, and it's not their fault. Obviously, like, this is the business. Right. That's what you're signing up for. Right. Like at a certain level of celebrity, you are a product being sold. And I think that, yeah, the celebrities that really end up, like, resonating.

And maybe especially now because everything feels so, you know, crushing and soulless and everything are the ones who are kind of like either like kind of messy like Ben Affleck, right? What's messy about him? Why? Because his mother died, MJ? Yeah, he's going to be a little messy for a while, MJ. Not because of his mother. I just mean all the donkeys and the drunkies and everything. Over the drunkies and his sads, yeah. His of the sadness, you know.

But again, I think the dronkeys are the sad. I mean, that sounds like a great name for his memoir. And yes, we will sell it, do you? We love for the sadness. And then with Tom and Zendaya, it's just like, obviously they're a product. obviously this what is so lovely about them is surely something being cultivated by their teams and also when the person that is the celebrity breaks through that carefully cultivated product that I feel like feels special as opposed to like when I'm I am thinking about like Ben and Jalo's like relationship where that

just felt like such it just felt like this is the this is the product you know right right and then when we watch the documentary they did love each other MJ they do I know they came back to each other And then the documentary about their, you know, slowly deteriorating love ended up being so fascinating because that's when you saw the people. You know, that's when you saw the vulnerability of her being like, this will work. And him being like, I don't think it's going to. I also, man, I just love the poise with which Zendaya carries herself, though, to all of these things. Because I didn't notice this.

And I don't know if Jeff notices or if the internet notice it where we were talking about it. because I was talking about her fits and how good she looks at all of these premieres. And Jeff was like, well, do you notice that she wears black? She's been wearing black to all of the Spider-Man premieres. But then she wore white when I believe she was in China, I believe. Because I think it's, I know it's Hindu. I don't know if it's Buddhism and Hinduism, I believe. You said China like Trump.

China. No, I was just trying to think of which country that she was in. That she wore white. And that is in a place where white is. seen as what you wear when you're grieving. And so that it's like, and so someone on the red carpet asked her if there was a significance and she, man, the way she is so the opposite of Tom Holland when Tom Holland, because if there's one thing, and I don't know if you guys know this, but like that the internet

knows about Tom Holland is that he spoils secrets. And he is like notoriously bad with spoiling things. and the ways Zendaya just like brushed it off and then like talked about, just started talking about other things was a masterclass of like, aha, it does mean something. And that's so fun.

Totally. Also, yeah, the contrast between the two of them specifically is so fun because she's like so tall and poised and like elegant and dignified. And yet not though, MJ. Because if you watch all of her interviews, she's also just like a, chilled down bitch. Totally. Like I always think of her in the umbrella, like when he's singing umbrella

and she's, you know, she's got the big baseball head on and she's just like healed over laughing. She's totally relatable and everything. But it's just like, yeah, she has this kind of air of of elegance, whereas his air is just like, oh, I'm just a fun little guy. I'm just a fun little guy. And also I want to say thank you to everyone that wrote in talking about how much of a background he has in dancing. Tom Holland is a dancer, MJ. So many people commenting before you corrected me to be like, he was Billy Elliott. I also appreciate that, though, because I want that support of him.

Please, yes, I was wrong. I was wrong. It doesn't, and he's Fred Astaire, but I was wrong. I take back all of my. He doesn't have to be. He can be Tom Holland. And I'm completely wrong. He does have a dancing background.

And one of the things I learned about the movie Les Mizz is that even though everyone was mad that Russell Crow was cast in Javert, a lot of the other people, the smaller people in Le Miz, were professionally trained singers. And now some of them are like, movie Eponine is now show Fantine, you know. Right. It is crazy to me still that they cast Russell Crow as Javert. Really? That was such a, wow, such a move.

Horrible choice. And I had always been like, well, whatever, Javert sucks. So Russell Crow can do it. But then when I saw Javert be played by a brilliant performer, I was like, oh, Javert is one of the most compelling characters ever. He deserves more than what Russell Crow has to offer. He deserves a little bit more than what Russell Crow was bringing, I think. But, you know, that's not on Russell Crow.

He was the one cast. He shouldn't have been cast as it. I really feel he didn't, sorry, he didn't quite have the range for it. He couldn't really do it. But that's okay. You know, we learn. But yes, thank you to everybody for telling me that Tom Holland is in fact, a very skilled dancer.

And I, yeah, all of my skepticism last week, I recant. He's, this is a great idea. Yes, do the biopic. He's going to do great. Did we just beat you into loving Tom Holland? I already love Tom Holland. I already loved him. I was just feeling a little protective of Fred Astaire.

I understand. I get it. Sometimes I need to be brought into the 21st century. And that's what the people did. And I thank you. Yes. And we do. And we thank you for also really the internet pushing towards everyone

watching the Tom Holland and John Bernthal Hot Ones interview because in the end, it was so funny, MJ, this entire interview. So apparently Tom Holland and John Bernthal have done it before and they both like made a decision. They're like, we're going big bites. We're going big but we're not doing a little, we're not doing a little bite. We're like getting in there. And they both were like juicing each other up to like get. And their camaraderie, I guess they've worked together on multiple other films.

So like they have, uh, they end like they even Tom Holland. has said, like, you really helped bring me, I forgot the name of the movie that they were in together, but it was in a movie that John Bernthal was mute in. And to be mute, he was like, in all of their hanging out, he was also remaining mute. And then telling the stories of like, when he just like, loses his mind because like, no one understands what he needs, all right? He just like, and watching Tom just delight in, like, you can really truly tell their genuine friends with each other. And Tom Holland is pound in this milk, pound in this milk. He finishes his milk.

And then he looks at John Bernthal's milk and he's like, yo, you're going to take my, yeah, you're going to have that. And he keeps going. So the thing was, I was just like, oh, bro, this is where the puke's coming from. This is where the puke is coming from. And afterwards, I don't know if he says it in this interview or if he said another interview that he was like, it's all milk. It's all milk. He just like threw up a bunch. But he happened so suddenly that he just.

and just threw up on the floor. He really smoothly recovered for a guy who just puked on the floor. That is how a celebrity pukes on the floor. They're just right back up and at it. You know what he said? He went, I didn't even get it on my clothes. He was so excited that he didn't get it on his clothes. Yeah, it's just so cute.

I haven't seen the Punisher, but Gideon loves the Punisher and loves John Bernthal as the Punisher. and so I know that that's like... That's not where he's mute. That's where he's blind? That's Daredevil. No. But he's not Daredevil. They sound the same.

I don't think that he's not the blind one in Daredevil, but he is in Daredevil in which character is blind, if I'm remembering correctly. But yeah, the Punisher, he's like a bad, like a bad hero. Oh, he's no good. Oh, I thought he would, I thought he punished the bad ones. he does it, he punishes the good ones? No, he punishes the bad ones, but like,

he's also, I think he, well, you know what, I, Gideon has talked at me a lot about the punisher. I think he's like an anti-fascist, but I think he's just like, I think he's bad, I think he's, like, really, it's like really intense. It's like, it's not like, I don't think it's like, as much of, I think it's as much of, like,

a romp as Spider-Man, I think it's like much more serious. You said about Spider-Man, but as someone that just watched all the Spider-Men's, you really forget, he really gets put through the He's really based in sadness. And I forget that. I always see Batman as the sad one I want to kiss the most.

But I forget that Spider-Man's also really sad. But Spider-Man's never been the one I wanted to kiss outside of Tobin Wire, which we, you know. Totally. He's sad and he's so burdened by love. But yes, I think that the thing is burdened by this comes with hopes and responsibility. And then when you have it and you bit by it, then you have it. then you have it. Is that the line?

With great power comes a great responsibility. Thank you. When you bit by it, you have it. When you bit by it, yeah. And I'm trying to remember some of the, I think that the thing with the Punisher is that even though he is an anti-fascist, a lot of fascists get Punisher tattoos because they misunderstand. I think that's where I get confused. That's what it is.

That's what it is. It's the people that rep the Punisher that get, that's where it gets a little scary. sometimes. Right. I think people misunderstand what type of hero the Punisher is. Like what do they called like groaner shirts? Like what are the shirts that's like skulls and guns? Right. Yeah. It's like one of those.

It's like one of those. Yeah. Yeah. Where it's like oh you this has been this idea of like a complicated hero fighting for the right thing but in kind of a messy way is then completely misunderstood and then appropriated for for the other side. But I'm excited to see the new Spider-Man. My husband is going tonight without me, but that's okay. It's because we don't have a lot of time, and he needs to see it.

He needs to see it right when it comes out. I'm excited. I haven't done one of these yet. I mean, it's not a 40X, which I am very excited to try. I haven't tried one of those. But this is what we've got tickets to see one of the Spider-Men's with three, like, you're surrounded by screens. Oh, wow.

So it's like you're, it's like you are the Spider-Man. Like you are, you know, swinging through the buildings, I guess. Like, because there's 40X, which is the one where you're like, you know, like, and they're like spraying sea water in your face. Apparently, the Odyssey really, it's, it's, apparently, it's quite an odyssey to go through the 40X version of Odyssey. Yeah, you're just getting sprayed with seawater. And you're just like, I get it, I get it. There's not even any sirens here.

Can we please? I feel like I would tap out of a 40x version of The Odyssey. Yeah, I've never seen anything more. I think I saw the movie Brave in 3D in like 2015, and that was about as high tech as I've ever gotten at the movie theater. What happened in Brave? Are you talking about the Disney movie? The animated film.

I think that's the only movie I've ever seen in 3D. Nothing. It was just in 3D. And it was like, this is making me feel nauseous. I don't like the 3. I don't want an augmented film experience. Okay, all right. But maybe a 40x?

What if it really jumbled you around? I'll do it. I mean, we're just both such puky people. Like, I feel like I'm going to be a Tom Holland, just, whey. Like, if I get jumbled enough, I'm just going to puke everywhere. I will absolutely be a Tom Holland. But I'll do, like, if I'm in L.A. and you want to go see The Odyssey in 4DX, I'll do it.

I'm not anti. It's just not something I seek out. It's difficult. I'm a stubbs, and 40X ain't stuff. Oh, they don't do it. That ain't no AMC. No, no, no. Why do you, of course, the other theaters have to try desperately to be an AMC.

And so what do they do? They jumble you around and hope you puke on their floors. I mean, at this point, isn't the movie industry like doing, like, they'll pay you to come? Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, it is so, they don't worry. And still in front of multiple movies, when they have the people that are starring in the movie, go, thank you for coming to the theater before the movie.

that annoys me more than anything. I'm already here. Don't thank me. Why don't you put this somewhere else where you're trying to get people to go to the movie theater? I'm already at the movie theater. So that annoys me.

It's thirsty. But yeah, but you know what also is thirsty being part of the cast for the show Nation's dumbest? And yes, I have checked it out, MJ. I have. Oh, my God. I have been checking it out.

And it is. Have you seen both episodes or just, because they just came out with the second episode I watched most of the second episode, I think three episodes are out now, so I watched the first two episodes. Okay.

But with the spelling B and the trying to figure out. So essentially, I was proud of myself because I knew immediately what I would do, but there are a lot of these challenges that if you were on the clock and they showed you, so there was a button and then a bunch of light bulbs behind a wall, and you had to be able to figure out which light bulb was out, but you couldn't see the light bulbs

when you would turn them on. And so you would have to figure out and you watch some of these things sometimes and you try to be like, oh, oh, an idiot. But as someone that has worked on a reality show that was challenge-based, top elf, and yes, it was with children. However, it is very scary

to do these things in front of everybody on a timer and then all you're thinking of, which I imagine is, oh my God, I'm dumb, oh my God, I'm dumb, oh my God, I'm dumb. And especially poor desperate. It really was. Andrew Yang and Dr. Luke, just keep looking at each other being like, we're going to, Dr. Drew,

oh, yeah, very different than Dr. Luke. Dr. Drew, although, man, Dr. Luke, you can throw Dr. Luke on there too and also just destroy him, please. But I love that they just kept looking at each other being like, we got to be the ones that go home today, right? we have to be the what, like we are smart, right? Because you go home if you're smart, right.

This is my biggest takeaway from Nation's dumbness, because you're totally right. It's like, I'm not good at logic. Like, I did figure out the light bulb thing. I was like, well, whatever light bulb isn't hot is broken. But even like the first one I described where it's like, how do you get the two different ropes if you can't reach them both? Like, I'm not great at logic. Like I wouldn't do good on a logic test.

So I'm not. And what I actually kind of... I have no logic up here. Obviously, look at us. Does anything about us say logical, FJ? And of course, there's a million different ways to be smart and being a bad smeller, speller doesn't mean that you're not smart.

And a bad smeller too. I mean, if you're bad at smelling things and you smell bad, it's a bad combo. To me, the biggest takeaway from Nations dumbness in a way that I'm actually enjoying it and that it doesn't feel so gross to watch is that it's actually not about whether you are smart. It is about whether you are able to have any sense of humor,

about yourself, whether you are at all capable of not taking yourself seriously. And maybe I'm thinking about this because we just finished Liza Minnelli's memoir. And yes, there is a line in it where she says, you haven't lived until you're a national laughing stock. But I think that that is why Jojo is doing so well. Because Jojo's like, oh, you're going to kick me. I've been kicked while I'm down my entire life. Her whole life is at the bottom of the barrels. So it's like she doesn't need to sink any further. All that has ever happened to me is people telling me I'm a dumbass

and that I, like, underestimating me and that I'm annoying and all this stuff. So she's like, her confidence is through the roof and she also knows a lot for somebody who never got to go to school. But like her and Stivo are doing the best because they are the two people who are most capable of not taking themselves seriously.

Of being the butt of the joke. But then there's hilarious. You know, and she is not capable. Wow. She is not capable of knowing that she's the butt of the joke. But also there are moments where she is funny, but it's like even when like they ask like, oh, do you know how to change the light? Like, do you do the light bulb changing in your house?

And she's like, do you think that Alec Baldwin would ever change a light bulb? And it's like, you're right. You are right about that. I don't think he ever would change a light bulb. But I think that she's funny on accident. I think she's funny on accident. And she just, I actually, she just, she just, she's. so insecure.

God. Like, that was a funny thing. Was pretty funny when asked, what does it mean when you're hanging out with somebody? Netflix and she goes, sex. And I thought that was pretty funny. But then she's like, I had been with my husband for 20

years. But 30 years, I'm not on Netflix and sex. I have never heard. Netflix and the sex. Like, it's your Italian version of her. That's, like, I actually

genuinely feel sad for her because in the moments that she speaks, she can only talk about her husband, Alec Baldwin, which is so obviously her way of being like, that's why I'm here. I deserve to be here. I'm famous. I'm married to Alec Baldwin. I'm married to Alec Baldwin. And she's here to prove that she's not dumb. But like, again, I think that what Jojo and she's not dumb, I don't know. I don't know if she got the memo. She's not achieving that. And what Jojo and Steveo see is that it's not about whether you get each answer right. It's about how you handle it if you get it wrong. And are you humiliating yourself because you are incapable of being wrong,

which is what's happening to Andrew Yang and Dr. Drew. Exactly. They want to, they're like, we are like Dr. Luke just keeps, God damn, I keep saying Dr. Luke. It just rolls off the tongue. Dr. Drew, Dr. Drew. When was the last time we even talked about Dr. Drew? This is the problem. I mean, I think they're both fake doctors.

I think Dr. Drew is like more of a doctor than Dr. Luke. He claims to be a doctor. At least. Yes. He's real dumb, though. He doesn't know a lot. It is funny that he's like, my daughter just had a child or like my, like I just have a new grandchild.

I want to get out of here. But like the more desperately he wants to get out of there, the more he kind of screwed up. The worst he's doing. I also think the fact that he's like, oh, I just had a grandchild. I need to leave is a front for how. profoundly embarrassed he is to get a question wrong. And again, it's just like,

you know, sometimes you get it wrong. And you just have to be willing to, like, I don't know, be wrong sometimes. And that, like, Andrew Yang is, I am truly enjoying watching that guy humiliate himself. Yeah, he's really clodering. I love, couldn't happen to a more deserving guy. Who's also used to embarrassing herself, Carmen Electra.

Also makes a lot of sense. She really, you know, I love that she's like, yeah, of course I'm here. I'm the one that slow ran on, you know, on Baywatch. Yeah, of course I'm, this is where I'm supposed to be. And I feel kind of bad for her. But even I feel bad because everyone also keeps being like, man, Napoleon Dynamite's really Napoleon Dynamite and huh? And I feel like they barely even know his name that they only refer to him as Napoleon Dynamite.

And they're just like, oh, this guy. Ice-T is just like, that guy is Napoleon. He is Napoleon Dynamite. And it's true. He's just like a grown-up version of Napoleon Dynamite. He's pretty smart. And yeah, I actually, I feel bad for Carmen Electric. Because you're right that in some ways she can kind of lean into being like the dumb one.

But again, there's just a defensiveness there. Again, maybe this is, you know, Liza is pretty good at laughing at herself. Liza Minnelli, that is. But she's also defensive about her as Liza now. Liza lives within my bones. The amount that I've talked, like I cannot say. stop talking about Liza Minnelli. We knew this was going to happen after we listened to the memoir.

We knew this. I'm worried about whenever we get to Elizabeth Taylor. I feel like we'll have to do that at some point because fascinating. Fascinating. But I think that after listening to her for 17 hours, I'm just really attuned to identify what people are defensive about. And she is great at laughing at herself. But like, Carmen Electra is, I think really like has a wounded ego from being called

dumb her entire life and is very defensive about it. Like she is kind of projecting like, yeah, I was on Baywatch. Of course, people think I'm dumb. But like I actually feel like she's really wounded. And like when she doesn't want to jump off. Yeah, she's a shred. Yeah, but she's been shredded. Like it's not her fault.

And maybe that's why L. King was the first to win because, again, she's like, I have been a public humiliation. My entire public persona is humiliation. Well, yeah, you did. I mean, you know, between your father and humiliating yourself, it is a rough combo. I'm not trying to hand it to El King, but I just think that it is, that what's fascinating about. I was a daughter of Rob Schneider, for those that forgot. Daughter of Rob Schneider.

And what's fascinating about Nation's dumbest is, yeah, just seeing, are any celebrities actually, like, capable of, I don't know, just. The pivot. accepting, yes. Yeah, and accepting themselves as flawed human beings. And coming up with creative ideas and create, like, see, this is, you know, I feel like Nation's dumbest is on the opposite spectrum of a taskmaster. I'm just realizing this now. It's watching people do tasks that, you know, there's Nation's dumbest and then all the

way over to Taskmaster where they're just genius and brilliant at coming up with ways with which to finish these tasks. and then there's nation's dumbest far on the other side of the spectrum of people. But you know, they are doing their best and I hope that they're all getting drunk every night because certainly some of them look puffier than others

and I do wonder how much they're drinking at night. I hope they're having a good time. Poor Anthony Michael Hall is like he's just like an older guy now but he just he doesn't know anything. He doesn't know anything. It's not your fault that you don't know anything. you've been famous since he were like 15. You think you would have like assumed,

like something would have seeped in there at some point, right? He doesn't know anything. But I'm team weird voice, which is stevo and Jojo. They are voices are indistinguishable from one another. They're just, yeah, just back and forth. Tofu is bean curd. Tofu is being curd.

Stivo screams as he's eliminated. Steveo. It is fun. But also just, all right, last thing I'll say about this damn show, they do this challenge where they're all standing in a high off the ground beam. A plank, if you will. Yes. And they have to do a spelling bee where they each say a letter of the spell.

I think that is so much harder than just spelling it out yourself, going from person to person. I think that that, I feel like that's not fair. It's not measuring their. Yeah, it's not measuring their intelligence. It's a group game. It's like there's like a short form improv game, one word story, where you tell a story one word at a time.

And it's like, I used to play that with kids. And it's the whole point of a game like that is like group unity, which is fine, but that's not what this show is measuring. No, it's ripping them apart. In fact, and so if you are given, if your team is given the word phem and Carmen Electra begins it with an F, yeah, you're going to be screwed. Like, you're not going to win. And then Hilaria is like,

glowering at her because Hilaria, despite everything, does know how Flem is spelled. She knows that's the lemma is spelled. Yeah. And then poor Carmen Elektra, she was, like, too embarrassed to, like, jump off the plank. And then she spent the whole rest of the time being like, I should have just jumped off the plank. I should have just, it's like, I think maybe it's just because I'm old enough now that I'm constantly in the process of seeing celebrities as human beings instead of, like, masters of

something. And I'm just like, oh, sweetie, you're just really embarrassed. And now you're, like, can't stop. you're like kind of spiraling about it. Yeah. And just like all of us. All of us would. And even in her confessional, when the other team doesn't spell February right,

she's like, who doesn't know how to spell February? And then she goes, F, E, B, U-A-R-Y. Like, it's February. And she says it multiple times. And she's like, ugh. That's the, when the show, ultimately I do think the show's goal is to humiliate people. And I don't like that. Yeah, it's all a humiliation ritual.

what it's accidentally doing is showing who's capable of loving themselves no matter what other people think and I do think that's Jojo and Stevo Yeah, it is, you're right And I hope, you know, I... And Napoleon Dynamite as well. I hope that Steveo convinces Jojo

to get a full back tattoo of her own face by the end of this show. That's what I'm putting my money down on and I think that we will see or just a huge bottle of fireball that would also be preferable If Jojo, if you're listening and we know that you are, if you could do that for us, that would be awesome. Because, you know, there are other people that are out there that maybe they make poor back tattoo choices,

but they are actually much smarter than you would imagine. And that would be a one, Ben Affleck. Yes, our condolences go out to you. And yes, at least it wasn't a Nancy Guthrie situation. Yes, I'm still thinking about her. Yes, I think about her almost every day. Where is Nancy Guthrie? Just to be clear, guys, Jackie is congratulating Ben Affleck because while his mom did die, she did not die by getting kidnapped.

No, no, no, no, it was nothing to do with Nancy Guthrie. No, she didn't. It was just regular sad. It was just regular sads. But in the same week that I imagine Ben Affleck maybe his head's all over the place, he wins a million dollars on who wants to be a millionaire that's donated to his charity, like to one of his charities that he works with. and he was so proud of himself to look. There is this a still image of him with both hands up. He was like, yeah, like as he got the answer.

Like it was such, like, and it's so funny, you know, donkeys, drunkies and sads that we see this picture of him because we so rarely see a picture of Ben Affleck celebrating anything. It's so nice to see him happy. And we do this every year. We're like, Ben Affleck is smart. And it's like, yeah, guys, there is just. And I do, I'm not, I'm guilty too.

I forget he's smart. And then I see a video of him speaking Spanish and I'm like, okay? Oh, yeah. And then as my, just my pants drop into hell. And it's just, this is the problem with Ben Affleck. All right, MJ? I don't, I wish I didn't want to kiss him. I really, really wish I did it.

And not everything in my being wants to kiss him. He's a fine wine. He is getting more kissable with age and with his finally being free from Jennifer Lopez ultimately. I think I love that he is so smart. I love that he has, yeah, these various charities that he has helped establish and work with.

And also it was a hard question. And yeah, I feel like we were talking about this before we started recording. It's just like Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are hot and smart, which is basically the premise of Goodwill Hunting. But like it's been 25 years and we're still like... And there's a janitor in there or something, right? Hot.

That was that beautiful mind. And smart. No, I think there's a janitor in there. It's been a long time since I've seen Goodwill Hunting. It's been a while as I've seen Goodwill Hunting. You know what I'm going to say it? I don't know if I ever have seen Goodwill Hunting. Really? Yeah, I don't think I have.

Maybe is that one that I need to shove in my crawler? I know it's good. I know it's one of those that are like, wow, those young boys could make a movie. Like, I know it's one of those. That's the thing. It's like it had a lot of hype because it's very good. And it's, yeah, there's all of these, like, I mean, how did we feel about it watching cabaret?

We're like, wow. That is no wonder what all those Oscars. Wow. I didn't realize that's a great movie. What a great movie. Yeah, I think it's nice. And I think that, I think it's nice what a celebrity is known for being smart

instead of known for being dumb. That's not what he's known for. You're right. You're right. How many times do we bring up his back tattoo versus how smart he is? Can we, I mean, we're not bringing up how as Marty is. We maybe bring it up whenever again we get excited because he could talk to Jennifer

Lopez's mother. And that was something that for us was just, ah, I mean, in her language, not like everyone can speak to Jennifer. No one is allowed to ever speak to Jennifer Lopez's mother, okay? You hear that. That's like the number one rule she has. Okay, but speaking of J-Lo, I do want to talk about this quote that you included. Sorry, something random started playing on one of the tabs that was open.

Sorry, excuse me. You included an article headline. Jennifer Lopez says a man making the bed and doing dishes is what she finds the most attractive. And I just want to spotlight this quote. She says, because ladies, you know, we do all the things. We do all the things. And I just want to say that this seems to me like something that Jailo has heard that ladies do all the things. She's heard of the phrase unseen.

labor and she knows that it exists somewhere, but she's like, well, I work out all the time. Is that the unseen labor they're talking about? I've been told that women are responsible for a lot of domestic labor that isn't appreciated. And so I'm going to put on a little costume and say, ladies, we're doing all our way. And I'm not just saying this because she's famous, guys. we've seen several documentaries about Jennifer Lopez. She is not, she's just, she's just one of those celebrities who's just not doing it, you know. She's just not. God, just, I know I'm bringing it up again.

Jennifer Lopez, when she was to describe in her old neighborhood. Who are you? Jennifer, Lopez, like, because he had no idea who she was. after saying Jennifer, when you're on his front stoop, yeah, that's weird. But I did say don't tell Holden because I didn't want, you know, I don't know if you guys remember, but of course my personal never forget is that Holden gets hard when he does the dishes because his pants get all wet, which we've definitely dived, like we've dived into that before because it's like, so you like the chafing of your pants on your, like that's what does it.

And I don't think that that's going to get. I love this for Holden though. I do love it for Holden, but I do think that that's not the way in which J.Lo would find it sexy. Yeah, yeah, I'm not sure that J-Lo would like to hear that from Holden. Just hearing his squeaky penis, be like, ooh, is someone talking about me? Bash it back, bash it back. It's that, again, the performance of normalness, ladies, we do it all.

or like when Katie Perry was like, when Orlando Bloom loads the dishwasher, I blow him. It's just like, you guys have staff. Just you, you, you very much have, you know you have staff. You know you have staff. You don't load the dishwasher.

You don't. You load the dishwasher. That was put, I wasn't on, was it on Dumas? It was on one of those sites that it was Katie Perry and Justin Trudeau and they were out,

they were on some mega yacht, right? And they're out in the sun. And they were sitting, with other people and it was put off as this like oh Justin Trudeau just like a lot of men even has to put sunscreen on his girl and he was she was in the middle of like talking someone and both of her bra strap like the bikini top bra was down and her tities were like just kind of splayed there and he was next to her shoving it like on down on her tities and like but then also like shoving it, he just kept putting it up on her top chest.

Like, all I could think of was that's like literally the one place she can put the sunscreen. And it wasn't being done in a sexy way. She was just like sitting there and he was just rubbing on. And I was like, stop. I was so, ugh, icked out. I was just, stop doing that. It's so weird. And it was just in this like, ah, they're just like us.

and I didn't feel that way. No, I feel like putting sunblock on the front of an adult is like, it's giving, putting a sunblock on like a moving child who's running towards the pool and you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

But like, I don't want, I don't want that in a romantic relationship. Or if you're, like, together, it's just the two of you and it's sensual. Like, if you're taking off your clothes, you know, sensually putting on the sunsreen, I guess, I've never sensually put on sunscreen before. It's not essential experience.

No, because I wanted to be covered. I need to be covered. Do you see, you guys see how pale I am? All of it has to be covered. Unless you're like, I feel like when I was like 13 and you go to the pool and you're there with like a big mixed gender group and you're like, okay, will someone put some on my back

and you're like hoping that it's going to be one of the boys. Someone cute puts it on my back. But that's only because you have no life experience. Like if you're an adult who can like freely like be intimate with your partner. You don't need to do it via sunblock. Honestly, my favorite, as you were saying this, I was having this flashback of any time I've had to,

like, if Henry and I have to resort to asking each other to put sunscreen on her back, and then we're just like, slap it and just like, okay, is that? And it's like not moved it. Like, it's not spread in all the way. You're just like, okay, it's on. It's on. I touch you.

I touch your every back. It's on. It's all like curdled in your belly. back hair, is that what you wanted? And I, but but then he's like, no, you gotta make sure. It's all the way you gotta make sure. And I'm just like, ugh, God. Just outwardly moaning the entire time, not in a sensual way.

The spray, this is what the spray has saved us for so many reasons. And one is that you don't have to touch any family member who you don't want to. But then don't you have to smear down the spray, MJ? Don't you got to give it a smear? You just trust like that? I smear it after I spray. I have radioactively white children who are always moving, and so I rely on the spray again. See aforementioned running after a child.

Wait, wait, you need more. And so, yeah, I just missed them. And yeah, are they inhaling a lot of aerosols? Sure. Tell them to keep their mouth shut then. That's how you learn the lesson. You keep your mouth shut. How we all learn the lesson of when you spray it on your face, you make your rip our cup.

That is a lesson I've learned, or else then you're just sucking off. on sunscreen for the next four hours because it's all over your lips. Oh, it's in your mouth no matter what. And it's in your eyes no matter what. But I, yeah, I'm so, like, I really try to let couples rock. And I'm rarely, like, viscerally grossed out by just the existence of a couple. But if you're smearing and you're just sitting there just getting smeared on in the middle of a conversation. Shmere at yourself, bitch.

It is an offense. Wait, okay, did you see, I meant to independently look this up, but people sent it to me. Katie Perry in the giant plastic water bottle. Try it. It was one of those things where I just, someone sent it to me on Instagram, I was like, what on her? And then I kept it moving. But yeah, she's like crowd surfing, but in a giant plastic water bottle. And she's kind of like a hamster on a wheel if you can't get anywhere.

And she's supposed to, like, they're supposed to, like, lift her out into the audience. And then eventually, like when you're crowd surfing, bring it back to the stage. And they wouldn't bring it back to the stage. They just kept her. And they just get. And she's just like, ah, like, she has to get back to the stage. And there's no way for her to get back to the stage. Why is she doing this?

Didn't she just have a gigantic, like, prop mishap last year? Why are her concerts just pure, It's so funny because she's desperate to sell tickets, MJ. She'll do anything to sell tickets and it's just not working. That, I mean, is as close that I will get to buying tickets is just thinking about her in a baby bottle getting serfed over people when she is obviously starting to spiral because she realizes she can't make it back to the stage.

I, can you imagine the spiral, MJ? I was just being like, oh my God, what am I going to do? I'm at the whim of the audience. Why would I ever do this? Like, it just over and over and over and over in your brain? I mean, if there's one phrase I say as a parent more than anything, it's don't get yourself into a situation. You don't know how to get yourself out of.

Yes. And that is Katie Perry. She had no plan. What if they don't return me to the stage? Think about it. You have to think about it. these things. No one on her team said, hey, we can't just trust a bunch of strangers. Maybe this is a bad idea. Nobody said that to her. Or they did and they were immediately fired. And she's like,

I'm going to space. And just imagining her ever since space, ever since Katie Perry went to space, it'll never be the same for her. It really like the timeline she is now on, I feel bad for her. I wish for her a Spider-Man experience where she could open up some sort of portal and go find another version of her and replace her with that one. And I get it. Yeah. The need is real for her. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, you really had a moment where everybody loved you and that moment has passed. It's passed. And it's got to be. But I feel like in her brain it's not because she's like, I'm with Justin Trudeau, which. Everyone's favorite, disgraced Canadian. and Prime Minister. Well, I hope you have fun while he smears that sunscreen on your breasts as they just are there.

But, you know, we're moving on. We don't need to just keep shitting on Katie Perry unless you want to because it's a woman's world and we are just lucky to be living in it. And I never want you to forget that. But MJ, I feel like you have a need. And the need is for Clay. What's going on in the Akinator's world? I need you to, there, it is, I feel that you've been trying to talk about Clay Aiken for a couple of weeks. And I'm not giving you the pedestal with which you deserve to speak about Clay Aiken.

Is this about the number of Clay Aiken reels have been sending you in desperate hopes that you'll watch them? Yes. And be moved. Well, let me ask you a different question. Are you familiar with the 1985 banger Kiri by what's his name, Mr. Mr. Mr. Whatever? If you can give me a sample of it, you know, I know it's not right, said Fred. Mr. Mr. 1985, didn't you watch like behind the music? I just feel like this is a song that I saw a lot on like a behind the music or like a pop-up video. and I can't sing it because I don't have the voice of an angel like Clay Aiken does.

Oh, I forgot. That's who you were comparing yourself to. I forgot that Clay Aiken voice of an angel that you couldn't possibly. Keri is just a, you know how like songs, banger, there was just a song that you've never thought of again that came out in 1985 and you listen to. You're like, this slaps. Curie is one of those songs. It's just a great song, just a great, like, 80s synth, you know, ballad, power ballad. I'm looking at the lyrics of it trying to see if it'll jog my memory.

It doesn't. The lyrics don't give much. I really wish I could sing it, but it's a hard song to sing. But he's, like, Kirillazahn is like a Latin phrase, but it's like a, you know, whatever. It's an 80s power ballad, Cynthia, like, loves, you know, uh, Kiriets on the road that I must travel. Oh, okay. That's all I need.

That's all I need in MJ. You think I know the name of that song? I don't know the name of that song. Yeah, nobody does. Nobody does. Yeah, it's great. It's a great song and nobody remembers it. Except for Clay Aiken and you.

And he is bringing it back to the masses. Because he's saying it on American Idol in 2003 when he was a contestant. Oh, so he's not trying new things. He's just trying desperately to remain relevant from 25 years ago? I would say, yes. MJ? I know that he's coming back. He's trying real hard to come back.

The other song he sings a lot. Rewind, which I'm not sure if we would call that new material. I can't remember. Here's the thing. He released Kerry as a single. And I think that it's part. I think there's like a whole, um,

experience coming out. But he's releasing these like little bits of, of, like rewind, I think is an original song that he's also releasing. And then Keri is a cover. And point is I've got to be Clay Aiken for Halloween because he look, he's,

he and I are merging into one person. Wow. I love this. Now, I like it especially because, is how are you going to explain this to your family because you guys usually go as a family costume. Who do, are you going to make, oh my God, MJ,

are you going to make them all American Idol winners? And you have a Kelly Clarkson, you have a, I mean, I can't even say it any more of them. What's the one from Justin and Kelly, Rubin? Rubin, Rubin was the one who beat Clay. Oh, my God. So then Gideon should dwell. It'll be, you know, it'll be in spirit.

We'll have Gideon dresses, Rubin stuttered. And then the kids will be Kelly Clarkson. And is there another? Fantasia. Fantasia Barino. Fantastic. Fantasia. No.

Is that what you just said? Fantasia Barino. She was the winner of season three. No, Jackie. She's a very good singer who won season three. And that was the last season of. What's her name, Butters? Fantasia.

What? Fantasia Burrino. Burrino. She's awesome. She has a great. great voice. Pitch it to the kids. Just see if the kids might be in down with this.

You're bringing idol back to Halloween. You know, I love nothing more than a Halloween costume that nobody understands. Yep. No one would. Imagine Gideon dressing up as Rubin Stutter. I think that that would be quite, again, in spirit. There's totally nothing he could do to evoke Rubin Starder at all. He said he's a very special person.

There's no one else. No one else could really be Rubenstettered. Yeah, that's the thing. I don't even know if people remember Ruben Stuttered. He would just have clothes on and say that he was from. I'm sorry, I'm laughing so. What am I in a good mood? I can't believe I'm laughing so much this episode.

That's so funny, MJ. Please, please all go as American Idol winner. Yeah, we'll just shave his head. That's what we'll do. We'll shave Gideon's head. I think what I have going for me in terms of being clay is that not only do, again, MJ, we look a lot of like. You are claying.

In looks, I'm sorry. I mean this in a positive way. Yeah, same fashion sense. And I'm also really, you know, oftentimes I look back on the boys that I hyper fixated on when I was young, especially the ones who were obviously gay. And I'm like, I think I was actually having a gender crush on you. not a sexuality crush on you and I think that's what was happening

with Clay Aiken and but what I really need you to know is that the way that he dances is perfect for me because it's just he just kind of I'm going to try to do it in my chair and I'm like trapped in the corner he really just does like a lot of com slash at page seven pod go check it out

so it's a shoulder shimmy so we're giving shoulders yeah it's a it's a where is it? It's not a shimmy is it in the shoulders is it in the hips is it in the knees? It's like a key He really lays on down the road that I must travel. It's like just a, he's just got to rock him.

Only his upper body can dance. And it's not even really dancing. So stoic from the waist down. Only shimmying up here. It is a mullet of dancing. It's a party on top and it is business down below. Is there a party any? That's also not what a mullet is.

That's a reverse. It's a reverse. Mullet as a reverse mullet of dancing. Oh, wait, so the parties in the front? The parties on top. Is the party the shaking of the shoulders? Yeah. Okay, all right, yeah.

Wow, you really haven't watched any of the reels I sent you. If you had watched two seconds of a reel, you would know how he dances. I, yeah, I've been watching. You know, it's you and it's my brother that sends, Henry and I are also obsessed with this guy named Tellamore. and he has this one song. I'm sure I've brought this up on here before. Henry and I ruin each other in our Insta DMs to each other.

And there's this guy named Telemore, and he has one song. And it goes, Friday crazy night, I'm going to dance, dance, dance all night. And it is an old man that, I mean, probably in his like 50s, 60s that has been trying to get this song to be a hit for me. many years and he'll just always sing Friday crazy night and every Friday he puts out him usually at a grocery store usually just him walking somewhere of him singing that and this is only i think henry and i are the only people that have ever heard of telemore and so i put the clay achin videos in the same sphere as the telemore videos that i receive in the queue for videos to watch later when you can give them your full attention.

That I'm waiting to get to, that I know I have to watch. Yeah, I mean, I don't expect anyone else to be going on this Clay Aiken journey with me. I just am so glad it's happening. You know, he really, um, he was obviously shamed by Kelly Rippa, who is having some painful medical procedure done right now. What is she recovering from? I did something and something. I saw something. I don't wish any pain for her.

No, of course. But wait, they don't like each. Oh, that's right. They don't like each other. Oh, my God. They don't like each other. She gave him the worst moment of his life in 2006 when he guest hosted with her. The worst moment of his life.

I think he ran for office at some point. And I just love, I just, I don't, something in, is he from South Carolina? Like a PTA kind of thing? No, like, did not. I'm sure he would kill it, you know. For office. Yes. in 2022, he ran for Congress in North Carolina.

You are responsible for the fact that MJ, I need you to know that maybe I might not be looking at all the reels that you're sending me, but you sending me the reels puts him in my algorithm and I do not follow him and his videos keep coming up. So regardless of whatever you think, I'm still absorbing it. It's still getting in there. I'm still seeing Clay Aiken and going, is that MJ? No, it's not. And it's not you every time.

And really, you guys... Do we look a lot of like. Do look a lot of like. And it's really... But you know what? You're both aging really well. He is aging very well. And I, you know, while we're getting into Clay Aiken's new music, I did want to bring up again.

I know that I brought up Victor Jones a little bit ago, like a couple months ago. Jeff and I went to go see Victor Jones, who's this, like, a smaller act that I essentially described as what I would imagine because this guy is, he is a comedian that started making music. And I kept telling Holden that I was like, he makes me think of what you would be doing if 10 years ago you decided to make music and go on tour. He makes very weird, like weirdly lyric to music that happens to be big, fun, cool, like, synth, like sometimes ballads, but also like just really great. music that just gets into you, that fills you with like a love and a spirit and a feeling.

And I love that so much of the music is so weirdly written and yet so beautiful. And he just dropped a new EP. And I'm, I follow him so I've been like seeing the snippets of it. And I'm so excited that I immediately sent it to Jeff and was like, I know that we just saw him a couple months ago. I can't wait to see him again. And I hope that he comes back to L.A. because he is a fairly small act right now,

and he is just like a big dude that is putting all of his heart and feelings into very weirdly lyriced music. And it's kind of funny, it's brash, but also like the community, like all of us singing, there's just one song called The Shoulder Song that I specifically couldn't wait to sing

in a group with people that were all singing it together, and it was as magical, as I expected it to be. Yeah, I love that. I'm really digging the new music, and it's just he's the kind of, like, and I will say it's like, he's a kind of guy that looks like,

you know, we're always making jokes of like, where are the character actors? He looks like a character actor. Like, he looks like somebody that is not necessarily going to be Justin Timberlake. You know what I mean? And I just, I really am just loving his vibe.

And he just seemed like, it's cool to see a comedian. take your comedy and then do something adjacent with it that really and it isn't he like started the show with stand up and then went into his amazing act of like real beautiful big full music yeah and i just know that holden as someone that like we've written music together we've worked on and like right now he's been writing music and we're working on that stuff together and it just it makes me think of like yes, of what we can accomplish. And sometimes we feel put into a, like a pigeonhold into something, but you don't have to be. You can try new things, you know? The fun thing about Jacken is that

you at Holden are both fantastic singers. And it's like, I would sometimes forget that both of you have fantastic voices that are great at music. The way that you talk about Victor Jones is his last name, right? Yes. It reminds me also of another, a comedian slash singer-songwriter that my brother and I both are obsessed with Nick Lutsko. My brother has seen him in concert, but he was the one, he did the Spirit Halloween song, and he also did the I Want to Be at the RNC song, which is, I want to be at the RNC. But then he also just has a lot of other good, like just really good, you know, kind of singer-songwriter music. And similarly, a few years ago now, I think my brother saw him live and yeah he was just like it's just so fun to see somebody who's like genuinely very very

funny and also writing like really great music and it's just like such a it is hitting two different things that that rarely go together so well um so yeah i i got i got to i got to get on the victor jones train it also it's the kind of thing and i know that maybe this is lame but it inspires me it i like listening to something that makes me think like, yes, we can try for more. Yes, we can do weird stuff. Yes, in this world of AI, we can continue to make really weird shit. And it's so fun that, like, we know, we were just putting out a lot of worm content over

on Romantasy Deep Dives because Natalie and I both accidentally dressed up as the Mindengarde worm for an episode and we both had very different takes on our worms. And I just really appreciate it because I've gotten a lot of messages from people just being like, you know, the one thing I do know when I look at your content is that it's just weird and not AI. And I really, I just want to say that continues to be the case for everything here at this network. It will never be AI. None of it will ever touch any of it. And it is, I like being that's like, no, man, that's just a bitch dressed up as a worm. Yeah, it will not be AI. And it will also be like weird and niche enough that when we talk about optimizing for the algorithm, it is

like a hilarious idea. hilarious. I'm dressed as a worm. You know what I mean? Like, what part of the algorithm do you get into for that? I don't know. Yeah, we're, you know, we just are who we are, you know? We, we have to be. Yes, honestly.

And a lot like Liza, isn't it? Isn't it, MJ? We're just, we are who we are. Okay? And yeah, Jared Letto's just going to keep on Lettoin out there. We just, we knew he was bad. Like, we know he's bad. We, I know.

Guys, it's like Cassie, you know, it's like these, these things of, yeah, of course he's bad. We knew he was bad. I know, his whole cult thing. I mean, this is one of those where I'm like, I'm surprised when we were just talking about with Jake, oh, Donnie Depp and Brad Pitt. Like, oh, you know. Before there was Scrooge. There he was. Ebenezer.

just like we talk a lot about how like what these claims of cancel culture run amuck and then meanwhile everybody who's been canceled is back and doing very well but Jared Letto is really one of those words like there are there have been so many specific credible like founded allegations against this dude and yeah now because there's this BBC documentary um you know that he's just officially a fucking nightmare Jared Letto Hollywood's dark secrets sounds like the Army Hammer documentary. And I'm just like, get out of here. 10 women,

10 women alleging sexual misconduct between 2002 and 2016, almost all of whom are underage. Minors. Yep. Great. And no need to read about it. And if you, you know, it's very upsetting. Unless you want to.

You know, it's very upsetting. It's all, I was reading through it. I was like, yeah, okay. Well, that's, yep, that's. Very upsetting. Very triggering. This is, I need, I, I'm getting a lot of, I don't, I haven't even watched any true crime in a couple of weeks,

but I'm getting a lot of that horrible trial happening right now. Yes. And it is so upsetting that this is also why I'm just like, show me more videos about Les Mis. Why do you think we're talking about Jimothy, dude? Why do you think everybody's going, but the raccoon is cute? It's like, we have to.

All right? Jimethys rise up. This is why, you know, this is why. It is technically why we come to the internet. We need more Jimithy, okay? Just fucking thousands of true crime weirdos online being like, is this woman the devil? Or was it a recognizable mental health condition? I'm pretty sure she was the devil and I'm pretty sure she is the devil.

But we don't need to talk about that trial. We don't. Well, we don't. But I just want it out of my algorithm. And that is why I will just keep talking about. Clay Aiken. That's what it is. And Laymins and Agin.

And that's, and honestly, MJ, you know, I'm sure that there are perverts down there in those holes with you. But I think that they're quieter perverts, I would hope. The laymians and Clay Aiken perverts, that is. My high school friends this week reminded me, I can't remember if I've mentioned this on the show before. We did see Clay Aiken live at the Iowa State Fair in 2004. Oh, my God. How did you even fit with all the masses that must have been there? And I think that he's now doing a Vegas residency.

Come in. Get that paper. I didn't know that there were that many people that wanted to see you. But there are dozens of us. There are dozens. And they will fill a spot. And you might get a free buffet coupon. But, you know, you are going to also see Clay Aiken.

And I can't wait for that for you, MJ. I hope that you get to go see him in concert. You know me. I love Vegas looking for any excuse to go to Vegas. And Clay, I. I think is just the one that would make sense of what brings you back to Vegas. But you know, this also brings us back to the end of the show. Thank you, everybody, for hanging out with us during this page seven second helpings.

And I hope that it fills you right up because it was shocking. And I'm going to say it, shocking that it took us a couple of weeks to even talk about Jimpathy. I was, I did try to, I was trying to talk about it last week and we just weren't getting there. So I'm glad that Jimethe is now weeks after the fact, now the top of our conversation. Yes, that's great. Breaking news is what you hear here at page seven second album. Yeah, breaking news and that news you didn't need like the slime amniotic sack story, which... I think that we did need that.

And I'm also sad that we didn't get into the spooky monster high dolls because a lot of people send them to me because I am a spooky girl. but I will let you know now I'm not going to start buying the dolls. Yeah, Monster High is weird. We got some Monster High dolls in my house and they're weird. I feel like they're in the same world as the brats, but they're like spooky sexy dolls.

Oh, which also sign me up, right? But then if I'm going to buy a spooky sexy doll, it's just going to be of Elvira. You know, that's the only spooky sexy doll that I would submit to. But everyone, thank you so much for hanging out with us during this episode. MJ, thank you as usual.

had it's just been an absolute delight to just see your face. And I guess I'm sorry that I compared you to Clay Aiken, but I did mean it in a positive way. I took it in a positive way, and I don't know why you're apologizing because there's nothing negative about it. Yeah, I don't know why I'm apologizing either. Yeah, I am. Thank you so much, MJ.

But of course, if you need more from the second helpings, which we're not here to judge. I get it sometimes. We're hungry. Go on over to patreon.com slash page seven podcast. and check out what we've got going on for you. And we're going to be having even more stuff coming out soon. We've got stuff coming down the pipeline.

And I am, you know, we're already more than halfway through Sookie Stackhouse Book 5. And I am losing my mind over there. Get over to Jackie's Book Club. I'm obsessed with this series. I don't know how I'm ever going to stop. Someone's going to have to physically make me stop reading them. So we'll see if we have to get to that point, MJ. Yes, you can join us on Patreon for Jackie's Book Club.

Also for our wisteria Laniacs, our desperate housewives talk back. Also for the final stretch of the last season of Buffy, will we be watching Friday Night Lights after we finish? Maybe. Oh, my God, maybe. It's going to be Friday Night Lights. But I am, I can't believe we're almost, we're heading towards the end of Buffy. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself, but I do know you should take yourself over to YouTube.com

slash page 7 pod, watch us on film. You know you want to look at direct pictures of Clay Aiken to MJ, back to Clay Aiken to see if you can tell a difference. Yeah, just look at that shoulder roll. Oh, yeah, baby. To his dancing. Who does it best? All right, yeah, I'll try too.

Who does it best? She let us know in the comments, guys. You just got it. It's all in the shoulders. I do it with no facial expressions. I think it makes it more effective. All right, let's sing the song, MJ. Pottle be better, the second time around.

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