Page 7 - Second Helpings - Fellat Me

Episode Date: July 25, 2025

Jackie and MJ are back for this week's Second Helpings! MJ talks about how they learned early that children's show lessons aren't based in reality, and Jackie FINALLY finishes explaining the finger claps! Buzzballz is starting to sell inflatable novelty pools, Jackie talks some "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" talk, MJ says the scene in "Enchanted" with the rats and pigeons rushing into an apartment hit too close to home, and Jackie gives her feedback on the OG "How to Train Your Dragon." Then it's onto breaking down the difference between cosplay and LARP while also apologizing to the campus LARPers she roasted back in her college days. The death of Hulk Hogan brings up memories of the of the wretched leaked Hulk Hogan sex tape, and the death of Ozzy has MJ and Jackie reflecting on "The Osbournes" being their first introduction to The Prince of Darkness, which then leads into a deeper discussion on the relationships the different generations hold to music. "Vanderpump Rules" is servin' up some classic early 2010's fits! MJ and Jackie discuss how the internet reacted to Jennifer Love Hewitt having the AUDACITY to get older, and the weird obsession with people wanting her to feud with Sarah Michelle Gellar. Winona Ryder is also back on the circuit and doesn't get why actresses be slicin' and dicin' their faces, ol' Gooper is above memoirs so she's goopin' out a biography, and Justin Timberlake is ruining the tour....the world tour... Bobby Flay says he's pissed no one brings food to his BBQs, that is except Jon "set a man on fire during a 1990 college hazing" Hamm's wife, and "Amy Bradley Is Missing" is another cruise doc but it's not about poop, but a 1980's missing person case, all that and even more on this week's Second Helpings!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You're damn right at will Get your spoons Get your folks Get your knives Or maybe throw them all in the trash Use your hands like an animal Eat like an animal It's Wednesday

It's not it's Thursday But for you it's Friday Or maybe it's Saturday I don't know what's happening anymore We're the farthest from Wednesday We could possibly be We're at Thursday Which is a whole new cycle

Yeah Maybe this is you know Maybe I'm just, maybe some days you leave your brain in the hump and that's okay. This is like, you know, when I used to briefly be a cross-country runner, my brother and I would talk about briefly. And I was the slowest on the team. But after a race is the best feeling because it's the longest amount of time until another race. Until another race. That is really, that's when you know you love to run is when you see it that way.

That's when you know, it's like when you dread it every second of you. your thoughts about it. That's when you know that's the exercise for you. Yeah, it was an exercise in public humiliation more than it was an exercise of the body because I was, when I say the slowest on the team, I'm not, it wasn't even close, Jackie. Really? How did you, did you have audition for the team? No, no. Try out. And perhaps there should have been auditions because I was, I wouldn't have made, they would have been like, running is just not for you. I was so, like, I can't There was a care bear episode when I was a kid that I remember with like a kind of rotund elephant who ran a race very slowly and everybody was like mocking him and he just kept saying slow and steady wins the race. But and I think everyone else.

Oh, good for you. That is not. I was just as I just would silently cry as everyone's making fun of him. I'm like walking the track and be like, be strong, bitch. Be strong. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's, I was also, I would also cry.

But I picture myself as the slow, rotund elephant. But in that Care Bears episode, everyone else is making reckless decisions because they're going so fast. Oh. And the moral of the story is that it really is slow and steady wins the race. But in my case, slow and steady lost the race every time. Lost the race. Yeah, really, it got you made fun of. And, um, yeah, there were social consequences.

There were, there were consequences in terms of not winning the race. But you got your steps in. Yeah. And, you know, I feel like they're not really counting. that with these kids. You know, it's like, we're congratulated for getting our steps in. We should be congratulating the children too. Like, good for you. You moved your feet today. Wow. Yeah. Good. That's great. That's better than not moving your feet. Yeah, well, you know, we are the millennial generation. We, according to all the generations above us, we were showered

with participation trophies, which I don't think that even tracks. Like everyone, you know, there was a ton of participation trophy discourse around millennials and how we're all coddled and how none of us know how to lose. But when I talk to almost anyone who's a millennial, we all were brutally made fun of by our peers. No one protected us from bullying in any way. No one protected us from like abuse by adults. And, you know, maybe you got a ribbon or whatever if you did ASO. But it wasn't like they were, you know, they hadn't abolished competition sports or anything. So I think that the everyone gets a trophy thing is a little bit overblown.

And also, can we just say like, thank Christ for art teachers. I feel like in ever, like so many people I would, I would feel that listen to this show also were saved by an art teacher of some or some kind of creative teacher. Yes. None of us would have lived through adolescence without the, whether it was the theater teacher, the music teacher, the art teacher. Somebody that connected to you. Like, thank you. Oh, it's like, oh, but everyone says I'm horrible in the worst for walking the track, but you like my mind. Oh, that was the worst when you had to run the mile.

And if you walked, it was like... That's specifically what I was thinking. When I was talking about, like, with the silent growing, I was, I was thinking of an actual moment in time. It wasn't just making it up randomly. Oh, yeah, I've walked in the mile because they said you could walk the mile. And then I was like, oh, someone will walk the mile with me. They didn't.

They all abandoned me because, you know why they would have been made fun of two? And you know what? Sometimes you got to let the... A lone wolf suffer, all right? And yeah, I'm saying I'm a wolf. All right, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't helpless. Yeah. And now, you know, and now because, like, some educators try to make everybody feel included

and, like, try to make it so that fewer kids want to kill themselves, everybody's like, oh, they're spoiling the children, you know. No, isn't it? Nice is. I think it's nice. I think it's nice. Tell everyone they did a good job. It's so funny.

It's like, I feel like the way that some people talk about. gentle parenting with like just the idea of gentle parenting we're like how could you you never could if you're not making fun of them you're not making them strong and she's like well you know that there are other ways to like craft that mind there is a middle path i know that sometimes gentle gentleness we overcorrect it etc you know where i'm still i'm learning about the gen z stare and how oh yeah oh yeah man it's real it is real Speaking of which, Jackie, a lot of people need you to finish your explanation of the finger claps. Finger claps. Because I think we started talking about the finger claps and then we got derailed, predictably.

Oh. Do you, are there different meanings for different fingers? Yes. And do you know what they are? Slightly. Okay. Middle finger when you're a friend, phone a young friend. When you're middle finger class doing finger claps, that's from drag culture.

So it's different than tiny with index finger. Claps. Tiny with index finger claps, which is what they were doing on Love Island, is like if someone's telling you a juicy story, and then the same way where, like, now, like, young people, like, for a while, they do the snaps. Like, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's tiny claps as a like, give me the tea, give me the cheesemaid. Give me, give me, give me, yeah, a little bit more, a little bit more.

And so it's more of like an encouragement as someone is telling and sort of just like, go off. Yes. Yes. Okay. Yes. Sorry, I'm finger clapping towards. Jay while I do this. I wish this was on video.

There is so many fingerclaps going on during this conversation. And then it is so I have, you know, then you just start, someone starts telling you a good story. Honestly, it's just a good way that like gives you a little bit of rhythm. And you're like, yes, yes, yes, yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me. I like it. It's like a visual way to affirm that you're like actively listening, you know, like, it's like your way of being like, I'm with it, but I'm not interrupting you.

It makes me feel like a cheerleader of the conversation. And I didn't realize I wanted cheerwaters in a conversation until I found Little Claps. But I think I'm far too old to be doing Little Claps, but don't worry, I will be in front of a 19-year-old this weekend. And I'm sure she will let me know if I shouldn't be doing finger claps. Oh, you're going to come back knowing how many Luboo's are you bringing to your 19-year-old. Oh, my God. Oh, I wish. I mean, I think that, oh, I don't know, 19 might be at the age where doesn't give a fuck. You know what I mean? I don't know yet. So we'll find out.

I don't know. Every adult in New York City has one too. But you know there's that sweet spot in time when you're like first starting to really like formulate that brain. Not that you're, you know, her brain's not formulated already. But it's just getting to know yourself. And I feel like that's a really interesting time when you're like, why did I hate X, Y, and C for that amount of time? I think it's an appropriately like hate everything phase of development. In college, I said I hated pork chops.

Now I try to eat pigs less because I've got a lot of piggy videos on my TikTok. So I just really have kind of taken them out because I just want to have pigs that live in my bed now. And we're going to have to get a big bed. We're going to have to get a bit of a mud bed. Some people I like a want to bed, but I say feeling it with dirt. Make it all wet. And speaking of making it all wet, MJ, I just saw that Buzzball is starting to sell pools that you can have an inflatable pool that is a large blue buzzball and the top is like the top of a can of

buzzball. Do you fill it with alcohol or you fill it with water? I think you should probably fill it with water or else I think that's bad for your holes. I don't think you're supposed to be steep in or brazen yourself in a bunch of tequila. But yeah, I think you're going to want to. Oh, yeah. It's actually kind of cute. It's very cute.

I would definitely buy this for my children. How would you feel? I was just about saying, how would you feel about the kids being in the buzzball pool? Would that excite you? Honestly, this is, there's a buzz ball,

there's a lone, sad little buzz ball in my refrigerator that's been in there for like six months because I bought it and thought, this will be fun. And then I thought, no, it won't. No, it won't.

Buzzballs aren't fun for me. Ouch. They taste like paint thinner. Ouch. Ouch. You are coming at Who's the Bish territory right now?

I know. That's why I bought it. I bought it to support women owned. Women owned. Well, it is woman owned. But you know. Oh,

well, man owned. Well, technically it's owned by more men than women. Oh, no. There's just a woman. You say woman owned. Bro, did I never tell you this?

No. So it is, it is, I think it's like brothers and a sister. And they still trade mark. Yes, they still trademark the phrase woman owned because there is a woman. At the top. And a bunch of men.

Wow. Wow. Well, now I feel better about not drinking that buzzball in my fridge. It makes me kind of love buzz balls even more. That is so stupid. That is very funny. No, but if my children saw this amazing buzzball pool that I absolutely want to put in the little backyard of the restaurant that we live above, they probably wouldn't mind.

No. They love buzz ball. The kids would just be like, did you like put this, put your buzz ball from the fridge into like a honey I shrunk the kids. Whoa. Blowing up machine, you know, and then now we have a giant buzz ball. I love it. I want this. It's cute.

Was I talking to you about honey I shrunk the kids not that long ago? Could be. I, we've seen all of them. Oh, I remember. We were watching a movie. I was watching some movie and I forgot who I was with. And they were like, that's the mom from Honey I shrunk the kids. And I was like, Buffy.

Yes. It was you and me. Buffy is the mom. It was Buffy's mom is the mom from Honey I Shrank the Kids. And the fact that it was like, that's why I was like, who would have called that out in my life that's not you? I don't know who's actively watching Honey I Shrunk the Kids. Or maybe I'm sleeping on a Rick Moranis movie that I really should be returning to. You could, I mean, since as somebody who, correct me if I'm wrong, thirst for Rick Moranus.

Ja. Yeah, okay. So revisit it. It's fine. I think the first one is. Yeah, I've got blood, MJ. Yeah, of course I thirst for Rick Moranis. I mean, anyway, if you, like, once you find out that he, oh, left the business, oh, because his wife was hailing.

Oh, because he had to take care of the kids. How do you not slip? Yeah. Slip. Slip. I'm slipping right into that fucking buzzball pool. It is. I mean, that is.

He's a real man right there. Honestly, man, honey, I shrunk the kids specifically scared the shit out of me because of the big ants. Yeah. I was very scared of the grass because I was already scared of outside. But then I was like, oh my God, it can get really big, and then I'm going to get lost in the grass, and the ants are going to eat me. And then we went to fucking, I forget, one of those Disney ones. Sorry, Slime Gang, one of the Disney parks. And they had a huge land of honey.

I shrunk the kids with the huge grass. But it also had the huge ant. Yes, but it had the huge ant. And I was terrified. I was so scared. And I was too old to be scared of it. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah. But I was really scared of the grass. I thought I was going to get lost in the grass. All right, never take me to this serengetti. I don't know what I would do. I would just honestly, I think I'd find a pride and just be like, you know what? I'm Leo enough. Come man.

I have been looking into like Leonin characters in the world of D&D. Yes, MJ, I have. But I also got seduced a little bit by this hippo guy and they're called GIFs and they're really big and they're connected to the astral plane. We're not talking about D&D. MJ, yeah. Maybe I stayed up too late last night thinking about D&D. But sometimes it's good to let your mind wander. Yes, this is why I've stopped listening to things every second of every day because I realized I had stopped letting my mind wander.

And you got to let your mind wander. You go in silence now? Occasional silence. That's great. I'm just going, you know, from the constant barrage on the senses, which was my life before, listening to something every second. I told you how I then noticed the bird song. And I was like, oh. Get a bird feeder.

Bird feeder changed my fucking life, bro. I love looking. You know. I stare at the birds. It's just going to be a bunch of rats. I know. It's going to be a rat feeder. Or a flying rat feeder.

I would be fine with squirrels, but it's just going to be pit. I live above a restaurant. It's just going to be all the rats. It's going to be like, what did we just watch where? Oh, sorry. It was the movie Enchanted. I'm not going to talk about Enchanted on talking TV. You can talk about Enchanted.

Talk about Enchanted. There is just, it's about Amy Adams plays a princess who comes from like an animated fairy tale world and comes to life. And there is a scene where she starts like singing like the way princesses sing and then all the animals of the forest come and help her. Oh. But in Enchanted, she's in New York City. She accidentally like gets kicked into real life in New York City.

So she does her little princess song of like come help me get dressed and a bunch of rats, like hundreds and hundreds of rats and pigeons run into the apartment and help her. I was triggered. I was like, close the door. Where's Gus Gus? Can we get a Gus in here? That's just my actual life. Man, speaking of, you know, movies that like Enchanted, which I am surprised I never got around to seeing Enchanted, we just watched because how to train your dragon, the live action movie, is getting such great buzz.

I had said to Jeff, I'd never seen the original. So we sat and watched the original How to Train Your Dragon, and I didn't know anything about it. I just knew that there was dragon in it. Yeah, I know that somehow it's a kid's movie that has been completely off our radar. I mean, it might not. I think, I don't know if the girls would be into it because I don't know if they're into, are they into dragons? I know they love unicorns and I know, like, of that ilk, how do they feel about dragons? And different.

But I do feel like it's kind of an adjacent world of, you know, if you could just expand beyond the princess unicorn realm into the fantasy realm, I would, you know, I know, I know me. I'm not a fantasist. I know you hate fantasy. But I would support it for them. I think that they would follow. in love with Toothless. I think that they would love the dragon that is in this. But I actually know what? They might be a little scared up top because the dragons are like, technically they think the dragons are bad, but then you find out of the dragons are good. There is a, uh, so we've been

taken the bus to camp for the last two weeks and it's very fun New York City summer. Any public transportation you are on, you will see hundreds of kids going to camp. Every kid is wearing a camp shirt. You'll see all the different camps. But so there's on our bus round. Send them away. Send them away. Someone get this child away for me for at least four hours. On our bus route, there is a bunch of kids going to Prospect Park for a camp that takes place there that is based on the Percy Jackson books. And so it is like a larping camp for kids and teens. And so when you ride the bus in the morning, there's so many kids riding the bus with homemade weapons like duct tape foam weapons. This one kid had like a gigantic Thor hammer just like sitting there.

on the bus. Every kid has a sword. Every kid has a shield. And it is so cool. And I was like telling, I was talking to some other kids about it, friends. And I was like, are there any, is there any like, princess or fairy role play in this? And they were like, no, it's based on the Percy Jackson books. It's not really about princesses or fairies. But I was like, if I could just get my, like, this is, it's one of those things where you're like, I would have loved this camp as a kid. You know, like, you run around Prospect Park with fake weapons. Oh. And Larp all day. Like, can you imagine? It's so insane that now that I, you know, kind of work in the world of cosplay over on Crescent City and getting to know the world of cosplay more. And man, when I was in college,

did I make fun of the LARPers on campus? And you know what? That's not fucking fair. My life is getting into LARPing dirt. I know it's very different. I understand cosplay and LARP are different. Okay. But sure, I don't want to get, I don't want to get my terms mixed up, but you do dress up and fantasy costumes every week. Yes, and that is more in the world of cosplay. I believe that, like, the difference, and I'm not, I've never really looked into this, but I believe that it's more. You know, if you know, correct us, we're not trying to be wrong here.

I think LARPing is more about, like, the actual, like, they do, like, battle each other. And I think it is more of, like, creating your own, not that you can create your own character in cosplay, but it, cosplay, I think, is more considered, like, being the characters and characters that are written and other things. Ah, that makes sense. I just made that up. I think it makes sense though, but I will say that I feel bad and I take back everything I've ever made fun of a LARP before, all right? Yes.

I take it back. I love having a sword on me. You can't bring it into the grocery store. No. And it's probably for the best. And sometimes I forget, like yesterday I sent MJ a picture of me in full makeup and I forget that I look like that and then I try to go to the grocery store. Yeah. And then I'm like, I've got like battalion straps on me and I'm like, I just need to get to the end.

envy apples, please. It's L.A. No one is batting an eye. You're right. I was like, oh, did you just get off a set? No, yeah. And it's like, no, I'm not doing this because I want you to ask me. I'm doing this because I'm lazy and I got to hit the grocery store on my way home from work.

But also, I guess I've been lazy this whole episode. MJ, Hulk Hogan just died. I know. He died. I saw the notification two minutes before we started this episode. and I say fine. I'm fine with it. I am absolutely fine with it.

A complicated legacy. I'm sure that people have... Complicated, have different feelings. Feelings. If you have positive feelings about him from when he was, you know, in the 80s and 90s, go forth. But I will say that the later era of Hulk Hogan,

and I'm not even talking about the sex tape that Jackie and Marcus would make us watch all the time. I think of... it too often. It is, I know. It's every time. And then there was that whole the Gawker lawsuit, which I is still, I think we're still living in the devastating consequences of the, of the Hulk Hogan Gawken lawsuit. I really feel like it was the beginning of the downfall of like, of media like that, that, that, you know, Gawker wasn't perfect, but it obviously was a better world to have independent media like that than to not. And, but every time, when that whole lawsuit

was happening, I just couldn't stop thinking about the sex tape. Like really? Once you, there's certain images that once there's in your brain, you cannot get it out. If someone is like in the process of bouncing on your cock and you belch and go, uh, ate too many

ribs earlier. Like that, I think about it almost every time someone burps around me, MJ. I think about actively inside of a paramour while his daughter's song plays on his cell phone as his ring.

And then he answers it while he is inside of someone else. And his daughter is on the phone with him while he's actively inside of someone else. Oh, my God. I think of it's, I'm ruined. I'm sorry, and I just ruined everybody else. At least you guys didn't watch it. It is good. Don't watch it.

Don't watch it. What I just told you is enough. There's a lot of sweat. There's a lot more barbecue ribs. talk, then you'd expect. Yeah, I mean, we're not even, we haven't even mentioned pasta mania, his Mall of America restaurant, which was the thing that brought us to discover the other restaurant of Mall of America that is famous in Daddy's Daily, which long time listeners might remember. That is my single-handed favorite moment of all of page seven when Jackie's saying

Daddy's Deli. If anybody knows what episode number that is, drop it in the comments so that we can isolate that audio. But yes, he had a restaurant at at the Mall of America called Pasta Mania. And I'm going to say that that was the highlight of his career. Yeah, I'd say so. I would just say that I, I, I, I, we were familiar with the family because they were in our neighborhood and, um, you know, everything. Yeah.

Really? Yeah. Well, I don't know why I'm so surprised. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, not in the neighborhood. We were living in. I knew they were like in the, in the city. Really?

Uh, yeah, we used to hang out with, I hung out with Brooke Hogan. No. And, you know, yeah, the family is. normal what you'd expect No, but you know I think they went through a lot You know, I think it was rough And I think that

You know Interesting Ozzy Osbourne Earlier this week Hulk Hogan Thinking of like also Not to compare them in this way But it's like thinking of their Two different sides of reality

Television Yeah I'm thinking about Hogan knows best That's the others I got But it's like the Hogan reality show Yeah the Hogan reality show And then like

they followed Brooke for a while and I remember that. But then Ozzy Osbourne was just so, we just, how much, I feel like we didn't even get into this last time. Were you into watching the Osbournes? Oh yeah. The Osbournes was one of the first, like, to me, I think what the Kardashians was to many people was what the Osbournes was to me. The first time that I was like, yeah, I do want to watch a family just like hang out.

Sharon! I loved how he screamed all the time. as someone that obviously I think you guys know it's difficult for me to not always be yelling about something and usually jubilantly but I felt Ozzy Osbourne I loved how angry was I loved how crass he was and yet everybody just loved him

and it was such a I feel like Hulk Goggin was like yeah brother it's gonna happen to me I'm gonna get on that screen everybody's gonna love me it's like no we just then everybody sees more of you and I don't know if anybody wants to see more of you Yeah, yeah. No, I, you know, there's really something to be said for celebrities disappearing into the night before they can become psychotic political figures. But that's not what he chose for his path. And RIP, I guess. I know, yeah. You know, I talk about Morgan right now. For Ozzy, you know, Ozzy, I think mourning him is less morally ambiguous because, you know, he was, he was Ozzy. And. What a legacy. And I, yeah, the Osbournes, too. Like, it is weird that he was one of the, they were the, one of the early reality families. Yeah. It's almost like I forget about that portion of time, but that's how I knew Ozzy Osbourne. Yeah, that was how I knew. I know, which is like, yeah, I'm like, good thing that my metal head, Gen X husband isn't here because he loves Ozzy for a different reason.

It's a safe. I mean, now I love Sabin. Now I love Ozzie. But at the time when I was that age, right? I didn't know anything about it. So I just. knew the show. Yeah, yeah. I knew the show first and then and then the music and yeah, and I'm married to a, you know, 80s metalhead who was very sad to lose Ozzie. Did he heard you say that somewhere. I feel like Gideon's ears just worked up and he's just like, why am I upset? Yeah. Every Gen X are just looking over at MJ and me. I'm in, I'm there with you babe. We're in this together, you know, but we were young. We didn't know. I didn't have the kind of experience of being raised with like, this is rock and roll. Like I didn't have the like, you know, being pulled aside to like listen to a record. That's just not really the family we

came from. And it always made me envious of people that like did grow up in a musically brought up family of like, you got to know all these things. Or was it too much pressure? Right. Sound off in the comments. I'd love to, like, it wasn't so much that you're like, oh, I have to like good music or else. Like, did that make you scared to listen to pop music or like, Backstreet Boys, did it make you like, oh, then I can't do all these things. Or did it give you, like, the experience of music can be anything? Right, right, right. I don't know.

Because I do wonder, do you ever wonder, like, would you have been so into Backstreet Boys and Insig? Like, if it wasn't so monoculture shoved down our throats at the time, like would we have gravitated towards that? Or would it have been something like how Gen X had MTV and such different music being blasted at them? and, you know, it formed a different generation. Yeah, that's a, that's an interesting question. Right.

I mean, MTV, I think the emergence of MTV for Gen X was such a thrill. And like, yeah, for them, their relationship with MTV was like, you could watch music on television. And then, yeah, for us, because of TRL, which was a very cool cultural institution. And in many ways, I miss it. And now it's like very weird. Like I was just talking to somebody who's a parent of a 12 year old, And she was like, I don't know what he even listens to because he's always listening on his headphones.

There's not like a shared music experience, even in our house, you know, much less shared between friends. And she was like, I don't know if he knows what his friends listen to. It's just like music is a much more like private experience now because it's on his phone. And I don't know. And every kid finds the music they like and then listens to it. And so I do really kind of like think back very nostalgically on TRL. But yeah, at the time, I found TRL to be, I mean, at the time, I was trying to be cool, so it was an instruction manual.

But also, it was a little bit oppressive. I think a lot of people experienced it as oppressive because it was like, this is what's normal, this is what's cool. And then, yeah, of course, the, you know, if you want to rebel against that, then you got to rebel against that. I feel like Gen X had a different relationship with MTV and music videos because it was just like, like just exposure to a bunch of different. Right. Yeah. And I, and also it was something that to me. was so fascinating just because when I was young, I wasn't allowed to watch MTV.

So it was just like this like, what happens over there? What do they do? I don't know. It's just shrouded in mystery. But of course, the mystery makes you want it even more, especially at that age. I mean, you know, that's why there's no mystery left to how I was acting when I was 22, 23, especially while watching Vanderpump Rules. Now, VaynerPump Rules is an interesting display of, I'm really,

falling into it because specifically they were essentially our age at the time that this was being shot. It's just being shot in L.A. versus New York. And obviously, their lives at Sir are very different than the life I had in my 20s. But I think that's why back then I was so angry about it because like, fuck these idiots. I'm out here doing the real work. What are they just, you know, oh, you're making a bunch of money. I was just angry. You know, that was just me being angry about everything. And now I love to watch it because I'm like, man, the fits. Right.

The fits on Vanderpulg. I'm only in the second season. The fits are, what were we doing? And I know that it's all coming back, MJ. What year are we talking about again? 2011, 2011, 2012. Yeah, because I was just thinking about 2012 because we just watched pitch perfect. Spoiler alert.

Sorry, that is going to be happening in the future. But... Did, I've been thinking about it ever since. I'm just pitch perfect. 2012, yeah. These are the best days of our lives. I also keep listening to... Like, cheers.

I keep listening to the opening because I like it. Yeah. Because I'm a fucking psychopath and I like it. And everyone, like, yeah, hit me with a dumb little snippet of the song and I sing it every time. Yeah, I definitely, I mean,

certainly in 2011. Okay, my problem is that I have reached the stage in adulthood where something that was 15 years ago feels like it was yesterday. And so 2011 really, like I met, I met Gideon in 2012. Like, it feels like it was yesterday. Yeah, I'm in the horrific period of life where I'm, everything about the passage of time is constantly shocking to me. I'll see my friend's kids and they'll be 12 years old. And I'm like, how is this possible?

You were just a baby. I met you as a baby yesterday. time, man. I know that this is just a normal part of being alive, but it's really hitting me very hard lately. I get it. And so the idea that 2011 is like a different era in fashion doesn't even feel right to me because I'm like, how could it be a different era in fashion? It was yesterday. But yeah, also that was, I mean, Occupy started in 2011.

So I think at that time I was not, I probably was still in a bit of a pissy pot mood about banders shows like Vanderpom. Oh, we were pissy pots. You can go listen to those episodes of page seven from all. 100 million years ago because we were angrier then, which is crazy because I feel like I'm, I'm still pretty angry, but not as angry as we used to. I'm like, I feel like I'm angry. Yeah, in some ways I'm angry about the same things.

But I try to, my biggest change since 2011, especially when it comes to pop culture, is just trying to be like just significantly less judgmental. Yes. And I don't know if that. And then sometimes people are like, you should be more judgment. Like, like, you're not mean enough to the Kardashians. I'm like, all right, I'll be me. I'm just trying to, what I'm trying to do is not rain on everyone's parade at all times.

Give them grace. Give them grace. You got to give them grace. You want me to keep raining on parades? I'll keep raining on parades. It is my natural, it's my natural state of being. Thunderstorms jackets is going through. That's what you want, maybe.

All right. Can't spend decades raided on people's braids and lose the skills. It's like riding a bike. You will notice the difference. Specifically, it's certain episodes really slap you in the face. Like they're bringing it at this point. At this point, this is when they bring in Arianna Maddox. There's just so many people from Vanderpump that are still in the zeitgeys that are still doing reality.

That's why I'm trying to watch Vanderpump because I'm like, I feel like you need to know more of these people because they're just infected in everything else. So Ariana Maddox was brought in and Sheena calls her. She's like, she's such a hipster. Oh my God, she's such a hipster. But it's like crazy that she like gets along with us. But really she's a hipster because she has shopped at A3. if store before and she has glasses. And I think that back then

that is what made like, then you're, oh, you're not like the other girls. Oh my God, I'm just a hipster. But also back then, we prided ourselves in being hipsters. We're just like, yeah, we're not like the other girls. Fuck off. I mean, I moved to Bushwick in 2008. Like, I couldn't

hate on hipsters. You know, I moved to the epicenter of where... We either identified as hipsters or put it in the ground that we're like, I'll never be a fucking hipster. I think I was probably more of that. Well, that was part of, to be a hipster is to insist you're not a hipster. It's really part of the, I think it's part of the experiences because, you know, there's the hater element. So you got to, you can't be like, yes, I'm a proud

card carrying hipster. You have to be jaded about things. Yes. And also it's like in, but remember back then, I guess I'm sure it's still true now. I just don't know the difference in the, in the youth. But it's like the hipsters versus the club people. And it's like Vanderpump is all clubbing people. And I remember the. clubbing people from back then. And man, they were having, surprisingly, I feel like we were doing the same amount of drugs, but we were having very different experiences. Like, it was just like, I feel like clubbers are like having more fun. Yeah. Right? And yet I never wanted to go. I never, no, I was like, I can't, I don't know how to dress to go to a club. I couldn't. I couldn't if my life

depended on it. But no, I said, yeah, it's interesting. I'm like, I, I also like to party. but I've never had this experience. My only experience with bottle service was a Heidi Klum's Halloween party. Oh, oh my God. An ice cube took your... Ice tea took your bottle, right? I think I might have taken a bottle from him. Oh, my God.

Oh, oh. Does that scare? Don't even say that into a microphone, MJ. Oh, my God. Now, I mean, there's other things that shouldn't be said into a microphone and probably also shouldn't be said in the comments either. Yeah, I'm talking about Jennifer Love Hewitt. Oh, my God.

Yeah, let's talk about it. I don't know what I just said it again. I don't know what you did last summer. Fuckers. You fuckers. I know what you did. I remember. I was there.

I heard about it. I saw the stalker guy. I know what you did last summer. Why is I wonder what other title you're thinking of where you want to say, I don't know. I think I'm just so used to say, I don't know. I think I'm just so used to be, I don't know. Tell me what. Tell me.

I don't know. Because there's also the famous Lindsay Lohan movie that I love. I know who killed me. I know. But it's not, I don't know. I don't know who killed me. She does know. She knows. Although I kind of want to make it.

I don't know who killed me. And it's just, it's just me in a grave, just being like, I wonder what happened. Well, I'm in this grave now. I want there to be as many missing limbs in I don't know who killed me as there are in. I know who killed me. Yes. I've seen I know who killed me. And unfortunately, we have.

There's a lot of missing limbs. But yeah, Jennifer Love Hewitt had the audacity to love. Live and age. Live and breathe. And exist. And exist. And how grossed out are we all that she just looks like a woman who is her exact age who's beautiful and well-dressed. Who is hot as fuck.

Well, I'm sorry for you. If you look at pictures from when she was 18 and you look at pictures of her now and you go, ugh, what are you fucking talking about? She was hot. She was 18 and under a hundred. pounds. Do you listen to yourself right now? Listen to yourself. And also, she looks like a goddamn goddess, like the fucking curves and their hit. Like, are you, and if you look at that and say, ew, I don't know what to tell you, bro. It's crazy. It's, it's also, you know what celebrity memoirs,

reading celebrity memoirs for the Patreon has done for me, is that it is, and this is goes hand in hand with me feeling like constant shock and, you know, nostalgia about aging and the passage of time. but having read all these celebrity memoirs, you know what I feel like when I see an aging, happy, healthy-looking celebrity? Go-a-ha-ha. I think, thank God. Go-va. Thank God you're alive. Honestly.

I'm so happy. Like, that's it. Yeah. I'm so happy you're here. I'm so happy you are healthy and okay. I'm so happy you're alive. That's it. Like 15 years of doing a pop culture podcast and I have landed up.

I'm so glad that celebrities get to age and stay alive. Yes. and, you know, and age, what? She's in her 50s, I guess. 40s. I think she's in her 40s. Yeah, it's just like cool out. And just it's because she's been out of the eye for a while. So, of course, people are going and watching the original.

I know what you did last summer. Yeah, she's 46. Yeah. Step off. And I know maybe, I guess technically we shouldn't even be commenting on her body in a positive way either. But, man, we got to lift each other up sometimes, all right? Sometimes it's just nice to hear. And I know we know she's listening.

I know we're not supposed to talk about any bodies at all and I appreciate the sentiment. But what is happening. Just to defend her though. Just to name it and counter it. What is happening is she's going to premiere events for the new I know what you did last summer. And she looks both older and like she doesn't weigh the same that she weighed when she was 18 years old. But she's like, she's like, biologically had children. And she all is like not even.

It's like, we already know. it's like if the one thing you know is biologically having children fundamentally changes your body. Changes your body. I've never even gone through it. And I know that. Changes your body. It just, it's, and, and I think, you know, maybe a lot of famous people either do whatever,

whatever resources they can harness to make their body look similar to what it looked like before they had kids or whatever. Some people do that. Yeah, she just looks like, I mean, and also it's like, yeah, as you age like, and your hormones change. I know we try to have to talk about perimenopause every week on the show, but like, yeah, you carry weight differently. Like, TikTok says it's coming. It's right around the corner. Don't you realize it's already here? They're not telling you. Every symptom you have, it is perimenopause. I feel like that is every time I open the TikTok. I'm like, just show me

another piggy video. Please show me another piggy video. I know. My algorithm is like, I know how old you are and I want you to live in fear. Yes. But, but yeah, it's just, it's just so stupid. If you saw this woman walk down your street in your neighborhood, you would be like, what a stunning woman. Who is that beautiful, radiant woman? But because she's Jennifer Love Hewitt, and she used to be famous for being extremely skinny, I remember looking at her on magazines when I was a teenager and being like, I should hate myself because I don't look like that. Oh, I was in love with Jennifer Love Hewitt. I mean, she was everything I never could be, especially even down to the kind of characters she usually played, because she was always like the,

you know, just, like specifically and can't hardly wait. I could never in my wildest dreams have ever even played a character the Jennifer Love Hewitt has ever played. And, you know, that's okay. Different strokes for different folks. But yeah, now we all have to live with this fucking disgusting society that's just like, ooh, she's gross now. Yes. And specifically because they're back on the circuit for this movie, Sarah Michelle Gellar is

also out in all the interviews. And bro, when you can see in almost every interview, they are just trying desperately to get Sarah Michelle Geller or Jennifer Love Hewitt to say something disparaging about the other one. And you're trying to make a story. And even to a point that it's like PR people can't even drum up the story because literally Jennifer Love He was like, I haven't even talked to her since we were 18 the last time we saw each other on set.

So you're making this. Like she just keeps saying like, stop making a story. And she's also openly said about her body with all the comments. And she's like, I'm a person and I have aged. So you're kind of going to get over it. And I love that response. I love the other response of like, I haven't seen or talked to her. Can you stop with this?

I love this fucking realness. Did Jennifer Love You and his fucking drop it down on the shit? Because it's like, thank you for even saying that. I'm just like, stop trying to like pit us against each other because this is not working. It's, yeah. And listen, we all love drama and we all love fight. But also we still have to keep our little feminist hat on. And remember that, you know, catfights are often constructed by the media.

And this is a fake cat fight that is being literally taking, like the headline, Jennifer Love Hewitt says she has not spoken to Sarah Michelle Geller since she was 18, framing it as if they are on not speaking terms as opposed to what she was saying, which was just like, we haven't been in touch and we haven't worked together at a long time. How could we be feuding? We're literally not in touch. That's it. And so frustrating. Also, it sucks, too, and it's got to suck. And maybe this is just in my own head of putting myself in that position.

But, like, no one's making these comments about Sarah Michelle Geller. No one's saying the same fucking shit about her and her body. Like, no one's going at her in that way, or at least not to the point that the internet is not in a huge hubbub about it. Yeah, why is that? Is that just because she hasn't gained weight? I think it's because she looks more similar to what she did back then. But also, that is not maintainable for lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of people. Yeah. Some people can. Some people do. Good for them. I'm not shaming Sarah Michelle Geller either for the hard work that she is put into her body. But also, sometimes no matter how much fucking hard work you do, you're not going to look like Sarah Michelle Geller. It doesn't fucking matter. Every literal body is different. So what is good for the goose, Gloria, is not always good for the gander, okay?

So much of it is, you know, genetic and whatever, you know, Buffy's mom. I know that's not her biological mother, but I'm sorry. Also, the comment on the only comment underneath this article is, I'm not friends with everyone I spent a few months working with years ago. Do I get an article on here? Literally, the headline I'm looking at now, when you Google them, co-stars haven't spoken since 1997. Stop, guys.

I was in a whole bunch of shows with people that I had a great time with when I was in the show with them, and we haven't really been in touch since. Doesn't mean you hate them. You don't stay in touch with everyone from when you're 18 years old. You just don't. Like, it doesn't mean you're in a feud. Oh, yeah, this is really, this feels like a throwback. The like, oh, these bitches are.

Biches are fighting. You know, it feels really 90s. And so does the body shaming of Jennifer Love You. It does. Very 90s. Very 90s. Very retro. This is not the retro 90s summer that we want. We want it for the playlist, guys, not for the fat shaming and the cat fight construction.

No. do want it for the Winona. I saw today that Winona Ryder is now out on the interview circuit as well because of Stranger Things. Stranger Things is going to be coming back out soon. And she has also been lamenting in a lot of these interviews just essentially like, I'm surrounded by young women that are being told to do weird stuff to their face. They keep trying to shove both, like, directors are trying to like force her to get Botox. She just keeps, and she's like, can you just stop? Can we just not do this to me, that would be great. Winona Ryder, famously the hot

Jet X. Also, bro, Winona Ryder, who is just like even, like, you know what, I'm going to say it, especially in the thief days. Every single phase of Winona Ryder wanted to kiss. What are we talking about? You don't have a Winona Ryder?

Aged Winona Ryder is even hotter than younger Winona Ryder. It makes me turn into a cartoon wolf. Ouga. It is squat. how hot Winona Ryder is.

I mean, yeah, like, I can't think of a single celebrity. If you said, who's the celebrity that's aged the best? I'd probably say Winona Ryder. Like, I've, oh, my God, let her live. And yeah, only 50s. That's what she specifically says. Sorry. She was referring to Bucal fish.

She said, I don't mind it. But what's weird is when you're surrounded by young women getting weird shit done. And so technically, she said, she was clarifying. She was referring to Bucal fat removal. She said, when I'm notona added, I thought they were kidding. I want to say, like, in 10 years, you're going to want that back. I don't know anything. I've never looked into the world of bugle fat removal, so I don't know, is it the kind of thing where, like, like, filler?

That's when they take out your cheeks so that you look more gaunt. It's like you're sucking in your cheeks all the time. It gives me the high cheekbones. It makes you look like more prominent cheekbones. Yes. Yeah. And, yeah, but that's right. She's right.

You look like a skeleton when you're an old person. But I do wonder, like, is that the kind of thing, like, where filler dissolves? I don't know, does like, boogellas. Just like boogel fat move like, does it squirt back into the middle of your cheeks at some point? Like, does it drop? Like, I don't know. Like, it's all of a sudden like, because, you know, at some point you get like jowlies because gravity and time weighs down your face with all the frowning we've been doing. And I feel like that would also, that's like, is the cheek fat going to sink into your jaw fat?

Plastic searches. Dr. M.J. You have to tell me. I go to you for all of my doctor advice, okay? I know. Where does the fat go? Where does a fat go? What does a fat go?

But Bucl fat is taking it out. You're sucking it out, right? Sucking it out. The question is, I guess, as if you get fatter again, does it go back in there? Do you get fat in your cheese? Because if you get lipo, you can still obviously gain the weight back. So I guess, you know, let us know, guys. I know a lot of you fat doctors are out there listening to this show.

So just give me the 4-1-1 please. Let's watch Nip-Tuck. Maybe they'll tell us, even though Nip-Tuck is. Did you ever have a Nip-Tuck? I had a Nip-Tuck phase. Oh, I had a Nip-Tuck phase. And actually recently, one of the leads, I believe, just passed away. I remember, yeah, people were talking about Nip-Tuck again.

I feel like Nip-Tuck is a summer show. Like, I had a summer where me and my roommate just watched Nip-Tuck the whole summer. Oh, yes. So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is definitely. And I got really sucked into it for a while. That wasn't on for a while. Man, something we are about to get sucked into.

This is like a little promo for celebrities over on the Patreon, patreon. Patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. We do our show where we read celebrity memoirs and discuss it. So you can read along or you do not have to. Now next week, we're being given a gift, guys. Gwyneth Paltrow is releasing her. not a memoir, it's a biography.

It's a biography. Of course, she's not doing a memoir. She's above that. She's above. But, man, there are already, they are juic. I'm trying to actually not look at too many of the articles about it because it gets released on July 29th and we are going to be reading it. And then the following week, we're going to put it out on celebrities because, you know, we need to read it. My God, I just swallow the book. I have no idea how long it's going to be.

I have no, we don't know. But there is some juice. Yeah, the- Coming from that good. That'll be the week of August 6th on celebrities, we'll be talking. And so far on celebrities, we have only done memoirs, you know, written by the author themselves. And this is a situation where, yeah, it's a biography. But, you know, we had to. It's goop.

We have to. So what's the, the juice is going to be about Brad? And the juice is going to be about Ben. Gwen is Boudreau felt sad when Brad Pitt married Jennifer Aniston said he had terrible taste. Barbes, Barbes, Barbes. we're going to be reading those barbs. I'm going to be swallowing them whole. And we're going to say, what about Barb?

And I say, oh, she's in my belly. Is it going to make me? Sorry, stranger things. And, yeah, so this is written by Amy O'Dell. I wonder what role Gwyneth has in the, like, in a biography. I wonder if she, is she, in other words, I don't trust her as a source. Wow. You know, we'll find out.

I don't know. I'm, listen, I'm very excited to read this. I'm very excited to read this book. I think it makes sense that it's going to be the first biography that we read because it's going to have so much goss. I don't know. I just, she's, she is annoying. Obviously, there's a bunch of flavor in it, though. I feel like there, like, if she's given, like, that kind of juice, obviously, Odell was working with her.

Yeah, I think that's, right. That's what I'm wondering. What's the process? Like, obviously, most of the celebrity memoirs we read have also been written with ghost writers, but I don't know the, I don't know if this was a series of interview. I mean, it must have been a series of interviews or whatever. Yeah, we're going to learn about Chris Martin. We're going to learn about her weird diets. We're going to, oh, my God, the annoying headlines. This one just says, complex, Gwyneth Paltrow revealed in bombshell new book.

Oh, it's going to be annoying. Oh, I mean, I'm not saying every person is complex in their own way. and I'm not saying she's not complex, but I can't wait. Whoa. I mean, no, whatever. She has to enter her. The Nepo baby part is going to be interesting. I'm interested to hear about her mom. I'm excited about all parts of it.

Yeah. I kind of want to get. It's like weird. Like, why did she start goop? Like I actually am very interested in reading this book just to see like the formation of how she's solidified into this after like, let's say, you know, Shakespeare in love. Yeah. Yeah.

And I know nothing about. Blythe Danner, her mom. No, I just know that she's beautiful. Yes. And an old, you know, kind of... What are you going to say, MJ? What are you going to say? I should have started with old...

Oh, what do I mean? Oh, geezer. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's why I don't leave her on the sun to her. Uh-oh. She wrinkled, uh-oh. I was going to say, put some water in her. Actress.

And then I was like, old Hollywood actually feels like a little bit... I don't know. I really don't know enough about Blyth Daner's work. I don't, I wouldn't say, that she's a staple of old Hollywood even in the way that maybe Jane Mansfield was

but maybe I'm wrong I'll learn it in the biography again I know nothing about Blythe Danner all I know is that she is Guadre's mom and I do remember watching a lifetime movie

of the week featuring Blythe Danner Oh oh she can act oh yeah oh that's how you know she can act

because she was in a lifetime movie a while if I can figure out which lifetime movie Blythe Danner that's how you know she can act? That's how I trust her

acting. Oh my God. I'm going to Oh my God. What about her little stint in Tuang Fu? Thanks for everything Julie Newmore. I forgot that that was her. That's nice. She's just a bit part. I mean, she's not the one bringing the fun in Tuang Fu, but she's got good in it.

Long. She's been in everything. I am not going to be able to find oh, I'm not going to be able to find it. I remember this. I remember specifically watching this lifetime movie, but I'm going to table this conversation. I'm not going to be able to find it. All right. We're circling back. Don't worry. We're going to read the book and we're going to find out even though it's not Blythe Danner's book, but we are going to hear a little bit more about her. Man, I think I got like seven more people to read wishful drinking over the weekend. I really just have been so affected by Carrie Fisher and I just want to read everything she's ever written. I mean, Carrie Fisher's book and Anthony Bordaen's book, two of the best books I've read in years. And we read them both for celebrities. Really. And also, I mean, I know you're talking about Vanderpump rules, but the whole time I was thinking, like, I was kind of a hater when Jersey Shore came out. And now I realize that I was wrong. But I don't, I hesitate to assign the same level of, you know, respect to Vanderpump as I do to Jersey Shore. But it's just a, it's like a don't judge a book by its cover. It turned out that I fell deeply in love with the cast of Jersey Shore, even though I thought it was kind of dumb at the time. I was wrong.

I was wrong. They get you. They get you. Those macaroni rascals, oh, they just steep into your brain, whether you want them to or not. And speaking of whether you want them to or not, perform, that is, Justin Timberlake, everybody is screaming at him, and I love it. I love that everybody's screaming at him still. No one, you know what? Oftentimes you see somebody that gets like, because he didn't get canceled at all.

But it was just like a light shaming that I feel like he went through with the arrest and then, like, like with the cheating and everything. And people are just not taking it anymore because Justin Dibberlake has been on this tour. And there's a million videos of him on stage not only not singing the music, but he'll like, he was specifically there are many clips of him singing. I forget, which can't stop the feeling. And he will sing three words and then hold out the microphone to the audience for the audience to sing the rest of the. a song and apparently it would be like him going like a full like 45 seconds not saying anything and then you'd be like yeah get it up and then point the the microphone back out to

everybody and everybody it's like this has been like this has been a rolling conversation that now is getting to a breaking point that people are like Justin timber like you have to start performing you're not performing anymore people are paying money to see you perform you're not giving them anything. But I guess maybe that's on you for getting tickets to a Justin Timberlake show in 2025. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like the Katie Perry... I'm not even saying against Justin Timberlake. I'm just saying in 2025. In 2025. Yeah. Well, we've talked about this too. Like, I feel like now with all the videos that are being taken at concerts, it's like, you know, where I might have had, I'm learning, I don't need to have any empathy for Katie Perry, but where I might have had empathy

for Katie Perry for how a concert might feel fun in person, but then on an iPhone video, it won't look that good. As good. You have to be looking really good to look good on an iPhone video. Yeah. Which is a testament to, you know, I'm going to say it, the tailors. Wow. And obviously the Beyonce's. If you look good, you know what I mean?

It's just like, because you can walk away from a concert and it felt awesome. Right. And you don't need to look at it under a microscope because it's about the experience. But all of the Katie Berry videos, you just notice how much she just really does not sing that much. And especially when it stands in contrast to the era of, fiance's concerts, you know, and where you're just like, oh, some people just do sing and Taylor. Some people do sing at their concerts. And some people don't. And yeah, the Dustin Timberlake, I mean, I will never forget that first MSG show he did right after he got caught

drunk driving. And he just looked like he was so drunk during that show. But he looks too tired. And I know there's a lot of dancing. And I know it must be tiring because, again, we all age. He's a human being who has aged, but he looks too tired to be on stage. I guess how do you feel about, because I know that a lot of people do. And obviously it helps in many, many, many ways celebrities that sing along to a backing track when they're performing live. Now, a lot of people are very angry about that because it's like, I'm paying a lot of money to see you perform. Like, I feel like when you're paying that much money, you feel like you deserve the whole voice. more, like the actual more of it.

Yeah. And I feel like that's not fair because I imagine a lot of singers have been helped for a while with backing just because, like, it is so physical to dance. And that's what separates the Taylor's and the Beyonce from, you know, from other people because they can also put on such an insanely physical. I mean, Beyonce way, you know, to such an insane extent. And then also Taylor for doing four hour plus shows every single. That is a marathon of a show that while people are like, Taylor doesn't dance the same way, Beyonce, I'm not comparing their dancing styles. Please believe me. I'm just saying the effort of doing that level of a show every night. Even if you hate Taylor Swift, I don't think you could say that she's phoning it in at the airs tour. Right. She's giving, she's leaving it all on the fucking stage. Right. Every time she performs. Right. Which is something that is impressive. It very is impressive. And, and, and we don't, I don't think we talked about what, do we ended up talking about this, how Miley was like, I can.

can't tour anymore because it's like I don't want to I can't put my body through that like it's really hard and really like it's the lifestyle is hard but yeah also the singing and the dancing is hard and the no well as someone else fellow nodes nodes nodes nodes see nodes I nodes your nodes bitch if you node you node you know is sometimes you just when you have nodes you can just lose your voice or it's and then it's like what then myly's going to have to be like you know can't in concerts, if she can't do it, which, you know, I appreciate that she's just like, I just don't, I'm not going to do that. And I want to do it. And she doesn't have to in the same way that I feel like a lot of, you know, we all respected Adele back in the day. Man, that's crazy.

It's crazy to think the difference between when we used to talk about Adele back in the day, when we first found out that she didn't tour. And I feel like there was no real huge conversation about like, I can't believe she won't tour. And that wasn't that long. ago, like even just thinking of the things we rip people apart for now in, that is understandable to some, but I feel like we just dig in in such a furious way that we didn't use to, that people just recognize that Adelden tour. And that was okay. Right, right.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know that's how you make money. But some people can't do that. Certainly can't do it all the time. No.

And it is like, it's so difficult in their body, but the people are like, but they make so much money. But you also have to remember, with tickets going up, it's also paying the hundreds, if not, I don't know, I guess thousands of people that work for that. Like, I don't, I mean, that's probably too many. I don't know how many people work for each celebrity. I would never have no, I don't know. How big is a team? You know, I just feel like there's a lot of people they got to pay, you know? Yeah.

I'm about to switch to conversation, MJ. Okay. What do you feel about the world of dirty sodas? Dirty sodas. We're talking about the sodas with syrup in them. We're talking about it with a creamer. We're talking about swigs. We're talking a bit of a swig.

I need you to know that the world of dirty sodas are now invading outside of Utah. No. Yes. The Mormons. Yeah, the sodas. They're going on a mission to spread the good word of dirty, dirty sodas. Now, I don't know if specific. they are, but as someone that you guys all know, I do want to try a swig next time I can

get to a sweat. Like, I do kind of want to try it. Yes. Jackie and I want to fly to Vegas and drink Swig. Swig. Yeah, I just want to swig. Yeah, I won't have, I mean, we'll put a blues in it. But like, we are definitely going to be. Can we make it a road soda? Yes. If we can't, I'll drink it. Yes. Yes. Yes. Now, dirty sodas are really, you know, getting into the zeitgeist of mouth as of late. And I think that a lot of people are truly disgusted with putting cream into a soda with flavored syrups. How do you fall on the spectrum? I think it's hard for me to divorce my feelings about dirty sodas from my feelings about the Mormons. Interesting.

Because as I have confessed, I follow a lot of Mormons on Instagram. They captivate my imagination. And I just think it's interesting to be the type of person who wakes up at 8 a.m. and starts your day with a soda. Sometimes you get out to. They can't have coffee, MJ. I know. And I don't know why they can have caffeinated soda, but they can. And so, and they drink this stuff. I mean, just how are their kidneys? These people, the people I follow on Instagram, they drink, they're drinking five or six, 20 ounce, 30 ounce. I mean, we're not even talking. It's a lot of soda. You know what it is crazy too, especially because like on Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, they, they, obviously have a poppy endorsement deal because they're always drinking their poppy. And I was like, these bitches are not drinking poppy. They're drinking day.

They are, you know, or they're getting their swig or it's like they're taking their like DDPs. They got their diet, Dr. peppers and they are like putting cream in it. Yeah. You put all the stuff in it. Yeah. I mean, I'll try, I would try it.

Again, I'll go to Vegas and drink swig. Will you? Let's go. Well, we have to make sure. I, but remember when we read Heather Gay's book, Bad Mormon, we decided that we can't give any money to Mormon business people because it's giving money to the Mormon church. And Mormons love to start businesses. They are an industrious people.

Did I tell you Natalie told me the crumble? Are they Mormon? That's why they're starting to sell dirty sodas, MJ. This is what I was bringing up there. Oh, so you have the opportunity to go to crumble and get a dirty soda. And I have not. If you want to tie your money directly to the Mormon church. If I wanted to.

Honestly, I want to try. I know, but I know I can make it at home. I know that I can just like, what wants to want to cream or soda? Like, I know that I can do that. I want a fountain. I want the experience. I want it.

It's the same reason why going to Starbucks is nicer than making your coffee at home or whatever. And also evil, you know, but sometimes we do it. Yeah. Oh, I don't know. Sometimes you need a cream dream. I was just talking with a parent about this because the parent was like talking about how soda was such a part of our lives as kids. like we would drink, we had so, and I know that that's not a full on cultural shift. I'm sure there's plenty of homes where soda is still a really big part of the day, but like me and my brother would drink, we would have our right after school, our during school soda, our right after school soda, our nighttime soda.

What were we talking? What was your jam? Dr. Pepper. Just always Dr. Pepper? Yeah. Oh my God, you're going to love Swig. They've got a lot of creations with Dr. Pepper, MJ. I know. I mean, Dr. Pepper can mix well. Yeah.

Ooh, if I could do it without giving money to the Mormon church, I would do it in a heartbeat. And yeah, again, they are industrious people. They start a lot of businesses. I'm sure that Swig is Mormon owned. It's like BuzzBalls women owned, but Mormon owned. But really Mormon owned. And, but I would, but also, that said, the idea of cream or in a soda sounds horrifying to me. I don't like cream soda. I don't think cream and soda go together. But I understand that that is an unpopular opinion. And I will stand alone in a corner based on that opinion. so I'll bet other people will love it. I don't even want to root beer float. I don't think dairy and soda should mix. Wow. I know. I'm wrong.

Wow. Is it just too much? Is it just too much? I, you know, what a sensitive eater I am. Dairy should mix with very few things. Your poor belly. We're a puky people. We say you're a big seven.

Anything that could be described by the word Creamy, I wouldn't even touch till I was about 18 years old. Oh my God, I can't wait till I make you read Model Land. I just can't wait because I tell you that the mom's name is Creamy. Oh, God. Oh, Creamy, why won't you love me?

And I did say that a lot if you ever want to go back in time and listen to me, do the audiobook of Model Land. It's in the page 7 Patreon. Oh, you really want us to read model land again. I think you want that to have not been a solitary experience. Yes.

I need you to know what happens in Model Land. I need you to see what I went through in the beginning of quarantine when I decided to start reading Model Land over on the Patreon. And I think I went crazy. Was that the beginning of quarantine? Chaw. Chaw, dude. I was real.

I feel like someday I'm going to go back and listen to those and be like, oh. Oh, interesting. I don't want to hear the desperate. in my voice from that time period. I know that it helped a lot of you guys, and I love that to hear us losing our minds on the air, but no, I don't want to revisit that. How about this?

How about the fact that Bobby Flay says that... We needed to see... Bring this out of the show. But Bobby Flay says that he's pissed off that when he has a barbecue at his house, nobody brings food. I'm sorry, isn't your whole thing that you cook better than everyone else?

Yeah. You make the best. So someone's going to bring their food and have you judge it and be like, oh, I'll make a better onion dip than you. No, thank you. No, thank you. But the one person who does always bring food to Bobby Flae's house is John Ham's wife. And I think that's probably because John Hamm is out having a good time. Also, his dick is so big.

But isn't he a bit of a wander about? Don't we, doesn't he like to wander about with his large dick? And I feel like maybe you're home, you're waiting for your large-dict husband to come home. Yeah, and you're making a sour cherry crisp. make that fucking crisp while the daddy's out dangling his donkey, the doggies. I hope I'm not speaking out of turn. You might be, but I don't remember.

The last time I saw John Hamm was when he was introducing his whatever team it was at the Super Bowl and he looked visibly drunk. But I don't know. Do I search is John Hamm a philandum? There's rumors that I put in John Hamm bad man. It doesn't seem like he's a bad man. But there's potential infidelities. he's claiming that he's never cheated in his life.

I mean, I love him. And so I hope I'm not slandering him. I love you, John Hamm. I'll marry you if you need to cheat on somebody. John Ham struggles to hide his love affair. Oh, with Olivia Munn and your friends. That's a movie. You fucks.

You're a liar with your headlines. No, it's just that he got a divorce. And he says, I'm not a cheat. He claims that he didn't cheat. Okay. Well, I take it back then. We don't know. But if I'm going to Bobby Flay's house, yeah, I'm not bringing anything.

This is like when I said Miley Cyrus should have paid for that guy's gum. If I'm dating my Lisa Iris, buy me a gum. Hell yeah. And if I'm going to Bobby Faye's house, I'm not bringing anything. Does that make me a shitty guest? Maybe. Specifically, Bobby Flee, you know, for me, I think it's actually illegal for

Zabrowski to show up at a place empty-handed. I don't know if we ever have and I don't know if I ever could. But to Bobby fucking Flai's house, you damn right. Or I'm bringing something that I bought. I'm bringing the dirty sodas. Okay? Bobby Flay, maybe you're

about a creamy dream. That's what you should do. You should bring something that is like, you know, kind of like a sand release semi-home made. Yes. Something that you can't make. You can't make a dirty soda yourself. Like does he have a whole show going into people's restaurants being like, oh, you think

you make the best gumbo? I'm going to make the best. I hate that. I hate it. It is a colonial project. And I, if it wasn't for his love of cats, get the fuck out of here. If it wasn't for his love of cats, then there would be nothing redeeming about him. But unfortunately, he loves cats very much.

And it's very cute. And also, I would definitely go to his house for the Fourth of July if he invited me. Oh, my God. You know, I'm going to go. I will take the opportunity to be fed by him. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I know we don't need to talk any more TV, but I want to say, for the true crime people out there, I am watching the thing that everyone is watching right now, which is the...

Hunting Wives? Everybody's talking about hunting wives, MJ. I thought everyone was talking about. Amy Bradley is missing, which is another cruise documentary. Oh. And it is unfortunately much less fun than the poop cruise documentary because instead of being about poop, it's about how lawless a cruise ship is. Somebody went missing in the 1980s and it's international waters. There ain't no police out there.

The only law enforcement on the ship is hired by the ship. And the ship, this poor woman went missing. And the ship said, we're not going to. make an announcement about it. We don't want to ruin anyone else's crews. Why would they? And, MJ, you would know these things if you watched Dr. Odyssey. It's another docu-series that they have over on Peacog. If you checked out of Dr. Odyssey, you would know what happens on a cruise ship. Then you would know how much they hide. I started Dr. Odyssey and I couldn't bear it. So I'm not going back to that. This is more my, you like Dr. how to see I like to relax and listen to the horrific tale of a missing woman, okay?

That I understand. I love that you do. Honestly, we need to watch different things. This is good. Yes, we do. But it is, it is the trending documentary on Netflix this weekend. It is,

I'm never, if I was never going to get on a cruise before because of all the puking and all the shitting. Oh, yeah. You bet I'm not getting on there now because if you go missing, oh, how could we interrupt anyone's cruise? No. Are you sure you had a daughter when you got on this boat?

I guess in their head, they're like, I mean, kids probably on the boat. But then how do you know that it didn't like get overboard? I mean, yeah, like that's, well, that's, that's, that's, that's the question. That's the show. That's the really the central question in their show. Exploring in the docu series. That's crazy.

And I'm, to be fair, I'm only on, I think, the second. So it's going to take a bunch of twists and turns. But, yeah, the crew is a lawless, it's a lawless boat. and it's as big as a city. So someone's missing. They said just go look for her. Yeah. She's probably somewhere.

It's huge. You can't look for her. It's like saying go find her in Brooklyn somewhere, you know? Yeah. No, man. Don't get on a boat, guys. I'm sorry. Probably some of you are about to go on a cruise for a lovely family vacation and you

won't go missing. You're going to have a great time. You're going to have a great time. You won't go missing. There won't be shit everywhere. The toilets will flush. Yes. This is really just me justifying this to myself because I,

do think a cruise looks really fun. And I know I can't go because I'll puke everywhere. If you go missing on a boat, it's not even like you can call someone. There's no cell service, right? I don't know. Or I guess if you pay for Wi-Fi, you can use your phone. But I also feel like it's like, if I'm lost

on a boat and I'm just like, and I can't use this phone! I think. I haven't been on a cruise since I was like 17. So back then, there was no phone on the cruise. So, you know, living in New York City has changed in 20 years, MJ? I know a lot of people live in rural places where they're an hour from a store or an hour from a hospital, but living in New York City has made it, I mean, I can get everything I need on foot 20 feet away.

And the idea of being out in the water, like even the poop crews when, you know, the- They can't get back to land. They're like, oh, sorry, you're just fucked. You're in the middle of the ocean. What do you want us to do? Yep. We can't help you wandering. Yep, no, just nothing.

float and shit in bags. So, yeah, so if you want to be upset, watch Amy Bradley is missing on Netflix. Don't watch it if you're about to go on a cruise. I also do wonder if Hunting Wives is being so shoved down my throat because Britney Snow is in it. And yesterday we did watch Pitch Perfect, even though that watch along is going to be coming out in a few weeks. But maybe it's just that Britney Snow is in our lives in ways we'd never thought possible. Like I literally yesterday was like, what is Britney Snow doing? in this huge new show on Netflix.

Hunting Wives looks fun. So that's why I was about to say, MJ, apparently Hunting Wives might be for both of us because it seems it is a dead show. It's a death show. It's a drama. I want drama. It's a mystery.

But also apparently it's very sexy. So it might be something for both. I'm going to check it up. A sexy mystery is my favorite genre, Jackie. Bro, I think this, I think you might be barking. up a hunting wife. Cool. Okay. And Dermit Mulroney is there, who I have no feelings about. But that's fine. You said it like you did have feelings about Dermot Moroni. I have familiarity with him, I guess. But there's, there's real, yeah, I think I might have briefly had a crush on him during

the my best friend's wedding era. Well, that's great because he just filed for divorce. So you can really just slide right in there, MJ, if you were waiting for your time. But yeah, my best friend's wedding, I did have quite the crush. I had quite the crush. Yeah. It was. It was a good era. Yeah, I watched my best friend's wedding a lot. Oh, me too. I had the soundtrack. The soundtrack was so good, bro.

This is what, man. And, you know, before we were talking, before we started recording earlier, we were discussing Coldplay. And I was streaming back, like that one Coldplay album because specifically Coldplay was on the Garden State soundtrack. And that's why I got into, rush your blood of the head. Rush of the head, I think is what it's called. and I liked it. And maybe I'll listen to it again. I probably won't, but what if I did?

Okay. I know people, people like cold play. Yes. And I forget that. And that's all right. You're allowed to like cold play. Oh, yeah. We are allowed to love what we love here.

And Jackie and I see previous conversation actively trying to be less judgmental. I don't shut nickel back off when it comes on. I don't shut it off. I don't shut it off. So I want everyone to know that, all right? How about creed? Can we still be judgmental about creed? Until you watch me kill it at karaoke, I guess.

How about jars of clay? How Christian rock does it have to be before we can be judgmental? That, I think that we can, you know, we can push it out to the side. I think, I don't know if I've listened to a jars of clay song since jars of clay were being discussed. But thank you for reading on jars. Man, so many of those bands back then there, I'm like, like, whoa, that's a Christian rock band. Like, I just feel like, they're like, they sneak their way in there.

Yeah, Five Iron Frenzy, I think, was also. A lot of ska bands were Christian. Oh, yeah, yeah. And how do you feel about that living in that world? Embarrassed. I was embarrassed at the time, and I'm embarrassed now. Hide behind that trumpet, bitch. But, you know, I had some friends who were in a Christian rock band,

and a couple of those songs were bangers. I still remember, you know? Come and go with me to my father's house. Oh. And go with me to my father's house. It's about God. It's about God. But Sadie Hawkins'Ans is also done by a different band that was also a God band.

We're not taught. We have to end the show. Okay. We have to end the show. We're done. Thank you guys so much for joining us this week on our second helpings. I hope that you got umvul-up. Um-nam-nam-na.

And now, hopefully you didn't eat to the point that your belly hurt like I did with the twin snakes last night. Not the Twin Cities, the Twin Snakes. MJ, thank you so much for being here today. I had a wonderful experience. with you. You ate too many gummy snakes. I ate too many gummy snakes. I eat too many gummy snakes. I eat it.

It's just they're sweet and they're sour and I can't stop from eating them. I get it. You know some people that are neurospicy, sometimes you get obsessed. And right now my obsession has been for weeks, twin snakes. And if I don't have twin snakes on me at all times, I start to spiral. Yeah. I'm going to be fine. Everyone, have a great rest of your week.

name's Jack Sparowski. You can follow me on a Scrabbit Jack that worm. Come hang out on our Patreon guys. We have so much fucking fun. Sookie Stackhouse on Mondays. Killing the fucking second book. We are ripping through Buffy and MJ and I are. Wow. If you thought we were invested before, bros buckle the fuck up. And get in there on Tuesdays. We Buffy and celebrities come out on Wednesdays. And we've got the other shows for you. Thursdays. Come hang out with us. Please, but also, you know, I'm just, I'm cross-promoting right now. Got a problem? Got a bitch in your life?

Are you the bitch? Who's the bitch.com? Sit it in. Got a problem? Yeah, I do. Got a fucking problem with me? Yeah, well, hit me. What, you fucking hit me then?

And by hit me, I mean, with an email or a voicemail or a DM. Go to who's the bitch.com and let us know what your problems are. You can always email us at page seven podcast at gmail.com. We love hearing from you. Thank you guys for listening. We love you so much. I hope everybody has a great weekend. and a week, and we will see you next week.

Good boy. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.