Page 7 - Second Helpings - Fellatios 'n Shit

Episode Date: April 17, 2026

This week on Second Helpings, Jackie (with a BOUQITUE FLU) and MJ are talkin' mid life crisis's, Jackie watched  "Malcom in the Middle" for the first time in honor of the reboot, and loved it. The Muppet Rockin' Roller Coaster is openin' and hopefully it's not just a reskin of the defunct Aerosmith ride, MJ's horrifying doorbell makes a cameo, and the guy on "Love Overboard" is STILL a child therapist and STILL vexed by his obsession with tig ole bitties, also spoilers abound!! Alix Earle and Alex Cooper are FIGHTIN' and it's the perfect Bechdel Test cause ain't no man involved, then Jackie started watchin' "Margo's Got Money Troubles" and says check it out, PLUS EVEN MORE! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey everybody, this is Amber and Ed from the Brighterside Podcast. Yes, the team that has brought you HGX2. Boo-boo. We're coming back hard. Thursday, April 16th, 10 p.m. Eastern, 7 p.m. Pacific. Ah! ha ha ha. YouTube.com slash at LPNTV. And just so you know, it's no longer live.

But there will be a live chat during the premiere. That's right. Are you ready to get your dome blown? It's HGN. X2. Watch it or die. We'll see you Thursday, April 16th, 10 p.m. Eastern, 7 p.m. Pacific. It's going to be on right after a last stream left.

You cowards! A second time around. Will it? Will it be, MJ? As Jackie descends into the madness of West Coast flu. MJ told me that I've got a boutique flu. Yeah, you've got a boutique flu. Your flu is trending. Thank you. Thank you.

Jackie told me earlier in the week that she wasn't feeling well and she described your symptoms. And then yesterday I was on threads. Who am I? Ruby Rose. I miss Twitter so much. And I do like Blue Sky a lot. That's where all the people who I loved on Twitter are. But then every so often I'll see a thread when I'm browsing Instagram and I'm like, what's this about?

And threads is insane. It's like it's absolutely unhinged. A lot of plagiarism going on over there. But some interesting things. Anyway, I saw a bunch of threads about this West Coast illness that is sweeping California to Oregon to Washington. And the people were describing the symptoms. It was exactly what Jackie was describing. And I was like, Jackie's got the West Coast flu.

Yeah, guys. So I don't know if you guys want my autograph now. You can send any kind of like syringe or like mask you have to 4804 Laurel Canyon Boulevard number 378. Valley Village, California, 9-1607. I'll sign it because I've got the boutique flu. You've got a special flu. Everybody wants to be close to me. No, I am currently recording from my home.

I am not in the studio. Tiny finger claps. Thank you. Tiny finger claps. Maybe I was forced to stay home. Yes, that's fine. Because sometimes you get a boutique flu and you think, I'll just go to work. But you're not supposed to.

We're supposed to learn. I'm not supposed to do that. We're not supposed to do this anymore. Yeah. Right, guys? I know. We're not doing this anymore. I was listening to a podcast yesterday and the host said the pandemic started six years

ago and I stopped in my tracks and I said, that's impossible. It was yesterday. But six years ago. I hate to break it to you. Yeah. It's been. And think of where you were six years ago. Yeah.

I think you've got, you're about to have an eight year old? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're about to have an eight year old. I'm about to have an eight-year-old, and I keep thinking of Holden looking at you during Jacket and slowly saying, gray. Oh, I think about it almost every single day, MJ. Every time I look at the mirror, I think about it. Well, what's happening with me is every time I look at the mirror, I think two things.

I think gray, and I also think old. And I think, who is that old person in the mirror? How did I get so old? And then, yeah, I realized that I had a child almost eight years ago. And aging happens. What's my excuse? Well, aging happens. What am I been doing?

I don't think that's why. I don't think that I look old because I had a child. I just, it's a unit of time. Because I'm just like, I'm in my head. I'm like, how could I look old? I'm still a little baby. And then I have these metrics to be like, I graduated high school more than 20 years ago. 20 years ago.

Yeah. I went, you know, my friends who I went to college with just had their 20-year reunion. I have a child who's almost eight. Like, I objectively, there are reasons that I look old. Yeah. But I'm not ready. And I've got to decide. I'm going to become one of those middle-aged adults who does something weird with their hair because I'm going.

Is that where we're going with our midlife crises? Honestly, this is great. Let's start talking about where are our midlife crises go. Yeah. Yeah. I think I had to go. What are you going to do? I think I either got to go platinum blonde or like blue.

Oh. Now, I will say this. I had almost this exact midlife crisis conversations. My hairdresser last week. And I was talking about this. And she was like, well, you know, she's like, unless you want to go full midlife crisis, you could always start with like dying parts of your hair so you don't go through the full gamut. And I was like, yeah, I guess.

She's like, we could think about this for a little while before we make any big decisions. Because I also was like, I wanted to go, I was like, strip it. I wanted to go neon green. Yeah, let's ruin it. I love this. She's like, I really love all of this. Because here's the thing, MJ, that's what they say. It doesn't ruin it anymore.

Oh. It's the upkeep that's, and she's like, are you going to properly take care of it? Right. Because if you're not, it's going to go away. And I'm not, MJ. I'm not. It's just there's going to be green everywhere. I'm going to be upset and it's going to be completely gone within three weeks.

And I'm going to be like, what did I pay for? 100%. When I wanted to go platinum blonde like years and years ago, after, like shortly after having kids as like that was also probably some sort of midlife crisis. Also, your hair would look great with platinum with your naturals growing into it. Would it though? Because the hairdresser was like, how often do you get a haircut? And I was like, that's funny.

Twice a year. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, maybe once a year. I don't know. I have short hair and you're supposed to get more haircuts when you have short hair, but I don't. So I get my biannual haircut. And they were like, well, you need to maintain it like every six weeks. And I was like, there's not.

Can you imagine? No way. But that's the thing. And I know. And everyone's out there being like, I have dyed hair and I do not do that. And you're so right. It's just I live, you don't understand, guys. MJ and I live with constant fear, though.

And if you're going to give us an option where it's like, wait a second. And then it's going to add more anxiety. And then honestly, I had to genuinely think, I am this mentally ill. They had to be like, is it worth it for my brain to deal with the gray by doing this or just not? And I'm like, or do I just start dye my hair straight black? And then I'll just be the full goth that I just want to be. And I don't have to think about it. And I just do my hair straight black.

Yeah, you could go, you could enter your Mortisha Adams era. I mean, it is definitely going to be an era of my 40s. I know that. I just don't know if it's going to be the top half or the second half. Yeah, yeah, because then the gray's come in and they look great. And they look great. That's what we change it to from great to great, but all of it is still upsetting. Yeah, or you just, you dye your hair so that every time you look at the mirror, you go, green.

Green as there's, I just imagine where it's like, when is it, you blew yourself with, uh, I feel like I'm going to see the blue handprints every, like, I feel like I am going to arrest in development myself with like the blue man group with my never-noon shorts on walking through the house. It's just green streaks on the hallways everywhere I pass. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

Yeah. No, I, let's keep, let's keep each other. Let's put a pit in this and keep each other post. Okay. So we'll circle back. with a midlife crisis. We're just at hair, which means we're not all the way at the midlife crisis yet. I want to hear from you guys, though, page 7 podcasts at gm.com, how are you going through

your midlife crisis? Because I know that this isn't our midlife. We're all living older. We're going to, oh, don't worry, we're going to be begging for death by the time it comes. But this isn't really midlife. So let's call it third life. Third life crisis, right? Third eye crisis.

Third eye blind. Is it where third eye, maybe it's third eye blind is what you need. in your third life prices. Maybe you want to throw all your money and try to find third-night blind tickets. Maybe that's what you need. And good for you. You know, I think that it's great.

I'm trying to really, I'm trying to get a big, like, group trip overseas, like, to, like, a big, like, it's like, I really want to go to, like, have everybody go to Japan for my 40th. Like, I want to do, like, a big, like, where everybody goes to have, like, a fun experience together.

Cool. But this is the problem is I'm the last one. And everyone's like, Oh, you're a baby. You're just a baby. And I love it. It's, man, can I highly recommend everyone? Get yourself older friends.

Yeah. Because then every birthday you have, they're like, how old are you? Oh, my God. You're a baby. And I'm like, that's great because I'm not a baby. Yeah. Yeah. No, Sam, I'm a 40-year-old baby.

My friends have always been, but I got it. I feel Jackie, unfortunately, that 40 is where that feeling of I'm younger than everyone wears off because then you're just, you're just 40. And then you're, and then you're, well, I went to a 30th birthday party last week. Oh my God. I went to a 30th birthday party last week. And you know what I did? I brought satellite wafers. That's where I brought the satellite wafers to. That's how it's like communion wafers. Now 30 year olds, zoomers or millennials? Zumers. Zomers. Yes. Okay. I had a thing once where I was talking to, my friend who's about four years older than me has a brother who's 10 years younger than him.

So this kid is six years younger than me. But I met this. A friend from college. So when I met this kid, he was a kid. And then I saw him at a wedding and I was talking to him and I was asking about all this Gen Z stuff. And I was like, what do the Gen Z do? And he was like, I'm the same generation as you. And he was like, I'm a millennial. I'm like in my mid-30s. And I was like, oh.

Technically 1997 to 2012 is Gen Z. So technically 96, which is the 30-year-olds this year, is the cusp of the millennial. Yeah, okay. That makes sense. It's like my brother is a cusp, Gen X, millennial. Yeah, sound off 30 year olds. I actually love whatever we talk about generational stuff, we always hear from all these zoomers who listen to the show.

And I'm like, how do you tolerate our relentless millennial references? I'm so thankful for the zoomers. I'm going to say it, I hope that we remind you of like a fun and. I hope we remind you of like, you know, like a chill cousin that's older that used to bring you weed. I imagine that's the vibe. I imagine. I hope. I idolized Gen X like as a carly side off yeah you know I I know that we've got some younger people

in our amazing jack and chat um but I you know this is beyond all of this talk if we're going to be talking to millennial talk we've got to bring up Malcolm in the middle okay good I thought we're going to bring up love overboard but we'll save that let's talk oh we're going to bring up love overport that that's a boat full of zoomers emj i watched all of that show almost in one sitting and we're going to talk about it. Wow. But I did just want to bring up Malcolm at the middle piece. Yes, let's.

One of those shows that it was so weird that, you know, it wasn't so weird. I think that it was just that the way television used to be pitched was very, you know, it was very like the monoculture of like, this is this, and this is this, and this is this. And I think that in my mom's brain, she saw like Roseanne and the Simpsons and, and Malcolm in the middle. Like, honestly, I think it was also a lot of, like, Fox stuff. Oh, yeah. She decided was too trashy for our family.

100% Fox. Because we were, like, trash. White trash. Like, we were white trash. And so it is funny that I do find that, like, there were certain levels of, like, oh, but we're not going to watch that white trash. Maybe that's why. Maybe there was, like, a defensiveness or something.

So I didn't even say white trash. I don't think I can say. say it about another person, but I can say it about myself. I think if it's an identity that you're claiming, and I think that is totally fair and rightful for you to claim it. I think that that's something that you can say. I mean, we were raised in Queens, you know? Not that everyone was raised in Queens. It's just, I look at the columns in Tony Sopranos bedroom and I think, should we get columns in our bedroom? You know, that's the level of why

I refer to myself as white trash. Yeah, there's got to be like a less, um, you know, a less kind of alienating phrase that describes, yeah, I apologize. Yeah, I just, that describes the working class family who grows up in Queens and moves to South Florida. Like, there's got to be a way to describe this. It's quite a pipeline. I know there are many of us. We're all weird. I do totally agree with you that when we were growing up in the late 90s, early 2000s, there was this weird stigma about Fox primetime programming, maybe because it was also like married with children. And I feel like there was like a lot of judgment that all the stuff on Fox was bad. Married with children was another one of those.

Like my mom was just like, no, we're not like, that's a low class that. I think it was also like she wanted us to think above it. Yeah. Like it was like this like I don't want you to be there. But then I knew that Malcolm in the middle was coming out again. I love everybody. Like I love obviously Brian Cranston and Jane Casparac Casparac. Yeah.

I always mix up her last name. with the last name of the actress from 30 Rock. Yes, always. And it's just being trained Krasinski. I don't, or, I don't think I say that. Yeah. Kasker-Khaer-R-R-A-R-R-R-A-R-R-KKKKRack. Kaspher, I think, is Malcolm in the middle mom.

Yeah. And I, so, and I knew that they were putting out, like, the reboot of it. And there was a bunch of PR about this. And I was like, you know what? I've never actually watched an episode of Malcolm in the middle. And then I sat and ripped through, like, eight episodes. And I was like, this is great. This is genuinely a great show. I completely understand it. And now I feel like this is going to be one of those, like, at the end of the

night, throw on a Malcolm in the middle. And I'm fine with that. I can do it. I'm so happy to hear this because I also have been seeing all the PR that they're doing and I've been really enjoying it. And we did. My family watched Malcolm and Malcolm in the middle at the time. I am exactly the same age as Frankie Muniz. And so like I, and we all loved it. And, I haven't thought about it. It's one of those shows that I loved at the time and then went on to never revisit

and never think about. Aside from like when I got into Breaking Bad, I was like, it's funny that the funny dad from Malcolm in the middle is Walter White. Like, but that's the last time I thought about Malcolm in the middle. And then, yeah, I saw the press and I looked into it.

And apparently the reboot is supposed to be great. And I'm so glad you're rewatching the original. And I'm also glad that it holds up because it was very much a product of its time. But like, I just rewatched a seed. that somebody posted out of Instagram from when Dewey, who is the littlest brother, does his backpack breaks.

And so he borrows one of his mom's purses. And then Reese, the oldest brother, is like trying to tell him that he's going to get bullied for having a purse. But then in the process of trying to make Dewey not carry the purse around, Reese is just relentlessly bullying him and like trying to make him stop. And Dewey just keeps being like, I like it.

And then Reese goes to the dad and is like, you have to make him not carry a purse around. Like he's a boy, he's going to get massacred for this. and Brian Cranston's just like, if it makes him happy, that's fine, whatever. And it's just like such a sweet, it was such a sweet scene. And I was like, I think that this show might actually like totally hold up. I think it does. Like, especially, like, I, you know, a sitcom that started in the year 2000 is not usually.

Especially with the Desperate Housewives and everything. I'm just like, okay, let's see where this is going to weigh in. But honestly, it really is there. It has so, I think that's why it lasted for so long. It's so well written. And they all just bring the most to, it's just very well done. And I think, I think, you know, I think the kids were great and very funny, but I think obviously the stars of the show, which I didn't get at the time because I was a kid, but the stars

are obviously the parents. Oh my God. And also, I had just seen it. And I just was so excited because I saw Brian Cranston doing some like the Pablo Escobar, like that new tame Impala song, Dracula that's everywhere. That's like, now I miss the charisma, fucking Pablo Escima. And he does it with like, he's in the Walter White outfit. He did it for like a late night thing.

And it's very, it was just very cute. I was just like, man, Brian Cranston is just great. And it's just everything. And he says about how much he supports his daughter and the pit. Oh my God. He's just like, I just, God, Brian Cranston is great. Yes. Wait, two things.

The video. I'm sorry. No, you go. The hot ones thing. with Malcolm. I was going to say, I want to talk about that. I want to talk about that. And I want to talk about them talking about Dewey not returning to the reboot. So, yes, the hot ones. And I think also part of why I wasn't sure of Malcolm in the middle age is because Frankie Munez did get weird there for a while. He was, he was weird. But again, I now have the lens to be like,

you were weird because you were a child actor, like a very high profile child actor. So, you know, you're still responsible for yourself as an adult. But makes sense that you had a weird. path, right? But this Hot Ones video is Frankie Bunes and Brian Cranston, and they're talking about in Breaking Bad, Brian Cranston, Walter White's wife, Skyler White, being this... Oh my God. And you remember how much hate that character God. It was so... And I was also a part of it. Like, I remember just being like this

bitch. What a bitch! She's being such a bitch. And like even like Anna Anna Gunn, right? I think Anna Gunn, yeah. Who also experienced a horrible time because of how much people hated her character. An early example, kind of of what we were talking about last week, how people are like so, like people are so like parisocially identifying with the pit

that they don't want the actors, that they don't want the characters to do anything bad. Right. Like I feel like Skyler White was an early example of like, Like I like Walter White and Skyler White's ruining his life. And so I'm going to ruin Anna Gunn's life. Fuck you, fuck you. We're just like, oh my God, she's just a woman playing a very well-written character. An extremely well-written character.

And Walter White is an anti-hero. So, yes, it's complicated because we're rooting for him, but we're not. And like, again, that's what makes it an incredibly interesting show. But they were talking about this on Hot Ones. That's right. She wrote the op-ed for the New York Times. That's what she did. That's what Anna Gun did.

talking about how horribly, how horrible it was to be an actor playing this complicated character and how much hate she got for it. And then Frankie Munez goes ahead on hot ones and is like, yeah, dad, Brian Cranston, I hated Skyler White. Like, I thought she sucks. What a man she just, oh my God. Which is totally like the kind of, you know, not thoughtful thing for a young man to say. And what does Brian Cranston say in response?

He says, now see, she got a lot of blowback from that. Well, first of all, Anna Gun is a super. superb actor, but she got, oh, why do you just get off his back? Wait a minute. Let me understand this. Her husband leaves without any explanation. She's pregnant. He's making crystal methamphetamine and people have died. And she's the bitch. Like, we couldn't understand. And then Frankie Bunez immediately is like, oh, when you put it that way. Yeah, I guess. And it's just like, he immediately is like, no, no. She was right in the situation. He's like, I played the character. She was right. It's a beautiful. moment and like not to go too deep on it, but I did see a lot of the comments of like, Frankie Munez here is really representing the like not critical thinking of like, you know, men in this time being like, yeah, maybe it's the woman who sucks. Like, I think the woman sucks. And then Brian Cranston, God bless him is like, think more deeply than that son.

Like, that's not it. No, actually, I was the bad one. And the reason everyone was rooting against her was because they were identified. with me, but that's like, not good. That's not good. If you think about it for 10 seconds, you realize what was going on.

It's not good. Yeah. And it was, it is a delight to watch. I've always loved Brian Cranston, but like watching him be Brian Cranston is just so, like, all of the interviews that he does are so good. And so that's then the other thing I wanted to talk about, which was this red carpet interview that they did where at the premiere,

I think, where they were asking all of the, so all of the cast from Malcolm Middle is back for the reboot, except for Dewey. I got to look up his name. Eric Per Sullivan. Okay. Eric Per Sullivan. You may remember him also from Cider House Rules.

But after Malcolm the Middle, he went on to lead a completely private life. And he is now like an academic. He's at Harvard. And so he was asked, do you want to come back and do this reboot? And he was like, thank you so much for asking me. I wish you all the best. is a great idea. But like I have worked really hard in my life. And this is all Brian Cranston describing what happened. Like Eric Persolvin said, I've worked really hard in my life to like find,

you know, stability and some like anonymity. I'm a private person. And I have this other thing that I'm doing, which is like my studies that I care deeply about. And so I'm not going to, I'm, I really appreciate it. And I support you guys, but I'm not going to do it. It's so cute because Jane Casberg was just like, he's studying Dickens as an, and is an incredible student. And then she said, they offered him buckets of money. And he just said, no, thank you. And it's, and all, and then they interview all the rest of the cast. And everyone is just like, you know what? We're so happy for him. So happy for him. We'll miss him. But like, we're just so happy that he has something that he loves and that he likes his life. And I was like so

moved by this. And obviously, like, I was thinking about with Fuller House and how the Olson twins didn't come back. And then in the, in Fuller House, they just kind of never acknowledged it. They were like, oh, Michelle's not here. And, like, that was so obviously, I think, because, I mean, we do a lot of, like, pathologizing. No way would she ever. No way would either one of them ever. Yeah, I think, I can't speak for them.

It's obviously we're pathologizing the Olson twins. But I think obviously they were, you know, talk about traumatized by being a child actor. They were, like, found completely traumatized in that we're not going to go back and do that. You mean, they were just trained by food and the hungrier one got the seeds. There was just, that's great. Like little dogs. It was just a national countdown clock when they were children about how long it would be until men could fuck them. Yeah.

Wait till Smires writes the book about it. I think that I can't wait to hear from Stephanie Myers about maybe she could write about how everybody waited for them to age up, just like Renez. It's like for Jacob to pounce. But I feel like this Eric Purcellar then thing is the opposite. It's just like I'm not coming back, but I'm so happy for all you guys, but I'm just doing my own thing. and I'm doing well. I'm gonna do my own thing. And good for him.

And also props to them for finding an actor who looks exactly like Dewey. Oh, really? Oh, that's awesome. Like the guy who they have played, they also interviewed him, the guy playing adult Dewey, and he was like, I'm happy for him.

I'm also happy that he said no, because this means I got the job. That's awesome. But he looks, he's got the same ears and everything. I'm like, wow, you guys, this is well cast. And also all the other actors were like, we like this new guy. He's great.

And so it was just like very positive and, um, and respectful and lovely. And so nice to see that all the cast seems to really enjoy each other. It's a, it's a feel good story. And I did. Caleb Ellsworth Clark. Oh, he does have the same ears. Does he look exactly like. Yeah. He does. Wow. Good for him. If you were going to computer generate like a, you know, forensic file style like age up a picture of Dewey. He would look like that. But yeah. And I have also heard that the reboot is great. So I, I'm going to try to watch it. It's great. See, you know, it's like, I know we're all just like, can you just give us something new? But then we will eat the slop. Sometimes we'll eat the slop. Sometimes nostalgia is good. And it's when it has to do with my specific childhood memories.

Yeah. If it's anybody else's, I hate it. You know, but although we were here, we were very supportive of the anniversary of the Hanna Montana show, even though we didn't watch the, you know, I'm very happy for all of them. Yes, well, that's because we would do anything for Miley Cyrus. For Miley, I just want, I mean, I just want, I only wish the best for her. I tell you what, I also only wish the best. This is nothing to do with any of the celebrity gossip, but I did just see that the Muppet rock and roller coaster is opening at Disney here because they're changing the rock and roller

coaster at use. I don't know if the one out here is Aerosmith, but the one in Disney in Florida was Aerosmith. And I just remember blaring in your ears. be like, love on a little bit die. You're just like, ah, I just screaming because you're supposed to be like on a really fast car on your way to an aerospace concert. But they changed it to the Muppets. And so they're going to be blaring like Dr. Teeth in the electric mayhem songs in your ears.

And I am so, I, you know, y'all know, I'm not a Disney-ass bitch. And it's because I was raised going to Disney. And we were like once we like it was something that was not something in my brain that was always great. And in, so I have to separate because the issue is that Disney owns the Muppets. Right. And I love the Muppets more than anything. Yeah. And I, I don't want to go.

But I would go just so I can ride this goddamn coaster. I want to ride the coaster so bad. You've got to go so that you can tell me if they include, um, Who is it who says, is it Dr. Teeth or is it the other guy who says, Zoot skipped a groove again, which is my favorite quote from the Muppet movie. The Muppet movie. Zoot the saxophone player. Oh, hell yeah.

Why can I think of the other guy, Dr. Teeth and the electric mayhem? And there's like two. Animal? No, not animal. Janice? No, not Janice. The guy with the guy who's like kind of the spokesperson, you know, who's not a, electric teeth. Who's not Dr. Teeth? God damn it. This is going to destroy me. You're going

down this route. I'm looking at so we're talking about Bore to be Wild, love roller coaster, rock, rock till you drop, and walking on sunshine featuring Kelly Clarkson. Oh, Kelly Clarkson's going to be in one of the songs. I just, I need it. It starts apparently May 26th and I need everyone else to go ride it and tell me, is it worth it to deal with going to Disney to ride the Muppet rocket and roller coaster? And I think that it is. Okay. Yes. Everybody, if you've gone, report back, Floyd Pepper. That's the, that's the guy. Floyd. Oh, Floyd. Oh, Floyd. Yes, with the long, beard, right? Yes, yes. And then Zoot is the saxophone player. And Floyd says, uh-oh, Zoot skipped a groove again, which is what I always think about if someone's too stoned.

So almost every other time when you talk to me, are you trying to call me out? Are you trying to electric mayhemely call me out? I'm not trying to call you out. I would love to rip some blunts with the electric mayhem. That would be a dream come true. Sorry, Jackie. One second. Someone is repeatedly ringing my doorbell. Oh, does MJ have the most annoying doorbell? of all time. I don't know if you guys can hear this, but it's like, laeleloo, la, la, lily, lily, lily, lily, lily, lily, we are going to be asking them about that when they return. But I'll stop talking, April, so that you can take out this part of it, but I do want to include that doorbell conversation, because this is a hot topic, April.

Is this the flu talk at April? Is this a hot topic? I don't know, maybe keep this in. This is what happens when I talk to myself. Oh, hot doorbell topics. Oh, coming up on the... MJ, I was just talking to myself. I was talking to myself because at first, I was making jokes about your doorbell

because I don't think everybody could hear the doorbell. Could you hear it? I could hear the doorbell. And... It's Paco Bell's... Doorbell is rigging. That is the longest. It's fucking fucking...

Why? And it goes all the way. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Oh, it used to be that. Pocket bells canad was my alarm for many years. So I know pocketbells canada, but I didn't quite hear that that's what it was. I... Yeah.

It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, so long. Is there any way for you to change it? Oh, how do you deal with this? I sure can. I could change it. It was old langs-eye until like mid-March. And then I was like, we have to change it. How are we not disgusting?

I'm going to say it, MJ, how stupid your doorbell ring is. I love this shit. My first phone, I made the ringtone when the saints go marching in. And I thought it was so funny. And all of my friends were like, you, You have to stop this. You must shut this off. You have to have it.

Every time my phone rang, we would all just go, burr-da-da-d-d-d-d-r. Oh, my God. You say we all would just, and it was just you, MJ, it was just you. Yes, I should change it. I should change it to something else, because when somebody, for some reason,

rings my doorbell three times in a row, and it's just so, we don't need the whole song. Yeah, you don't need like the entire song. I agree with that. This is just like the equivalent of I imagine if you ever got a car, I also imagine you would have one of those horns too that would play something really long.

Yeah, just something really, just to let everybody know, there's no, there's no, there's no tiny hawk in MJ's life. No, no, no, no, no. No, I want it to be a long song, I do. It would be funny if your honk was when the saints go marching in. Burr, bur, bur, bur, bur. and you're just like as you're embarrassed trying to like swerve around the car in New York traffic. As I'm about to get into a car accident, just play in a novelty song.

I'd also like to, if I could, I wish that I could make mouth alarms for you. Like I wish I could make them for your car and for your doorbell as well. Yeah, I would do it. You probably could. Gideon changed his ringtone to be a song from K-pop demon hunters just to troll the kids. Well, that is the phone. I think that's different on the phone. I wish I could do it in ways.

I know we don't like pranks, but I do wish there was a way I could get onto your Wi-Fi and randomly change the doorbell ring to be like, MJ, MJ, MJ, it's a door, it's a door, it's a door, it's a door, it's a door. and then just making it the most just upsetting and changing it at random intervals. I have a lot of dreams, you know, of what I could do. Well, thank you for noticing my doorbell choice. I'm proud and I'm proud of who I am. I'm proud of who I am. But you know who's not proud of who they are? Anyone on Love Overboard?

Anyone on Love Overboard, specifically, the aforementioned child therapist who loves big, And he loves them so much. He's willing to make the craziest choices. This show, you know, we were just talking about Malcolm in the middle, talking about reboots, or you can try to change the game and the dating. I love it to when you look up Love Overboard in the Reddits. Everyone is either like, why would they make this atrocity down to this is brilliant, and it has some of the greatest moments.

Now, yeah, I'm not going to say it has some of the greatest moments of reality television I've ever seen. But it's doing something I haven't seen before. It is, and I don't know and come at us because maybe I'm just old. But it is fascinating, watching these young people. So I guess all these people, which, that really goes to show how old we are. A lot of them are like influencers and like TikTok people that I did not know. As I was looking at up, people are like, oh, that guy, oh, this person. Yeah.

Oh, God. Apparently, like, Gia does a lot of that stuff. The guy that looks like a vampire does a lot of, like, I've definitely seen him in like modeling stuff and like Persad or whatever. Which guy? Oh, Prasad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Prasad, who he says he looks like a vampire. And then he is such a just stick up his ass, like kind of like creep guy.

Yeah, he sucks. Yeah, I never think about that, that all these people want to be influencers. Oh, yeah. So on Love Overboard, again, this is a reminder for everyone that's forgetting. Love Overbord, it's hosted by Gabby Wendy, and a bunch of people are put onto a super yacht. And up top, they have to have a kissing challenge, and they find out in the like, or like the choose challenge of who's going to choose what, and they don't know anything that's going to happen. They immediately find out if you are not partnered up, you have to live on the downside of the yacht, wearing, like, janitor's outfits and having to clean things. And it's like the cleaning, by the way, is like symbolically wiping down a table. And they're obviously like doing, like, they set up cleaning tasks while they're having conversations. So you could tell, like, they're not cleaning all day.

They just have to like fold napkins while they're having this conversation. Yeah. They're fine. Yeah, they're fine. Even though Bella at first is just like, my tits are so big, I can't clean anything. Well, I think she actually does say that.

I think, yes. Bella obviously was having that. Bella had a rough one. She was not cut out for life on the yacht. But she was, no, no, no. She was not cut out for a life where the men weren't choosing her. That bitch got turned down three times. Because she gets off, I'm crazy.

I'm crazy. Don't get me wrong. She's very, very attractive. But she gives off like absolute crazy energy. And then she just kept being like, I'm the it girl of the Midwest. I don't get rejected. I'm the it girl of the Midwest. Yeah.

And a girl, then maybe you've got to go back to the Midwest. I'm sorry. Like, anyone who's been on Earth for more than 10 minutes has enough radar to be able to talk to Bella for three seconds and be like, oh, you are terrifying. Like, you're very funny. and you're very beautiful. But there's no way that this is going to go well if I keep talking to. So she gets rejected three times in a row and then escorts herself off the boat,

which I think was, you know, a great choice. I feel, I'm going to say it. I think that there was too, this is evil what I'm about to say. Too many allowances for them to leave the boat and not have to walk the plank. If you're taking yourself out, I think you've got to walk the plank. I agree. You're taking yourself out. You've got to walk the plank.

Yeah. And that goes for the other couples later on. If you are taking yourself out, you better walk the plank. Yeah, I agree. Now, I'm not going to be mad. But also, what are you going to force that? Like, I was like, I don't care how upset you are. You're going to get on that fucking plank.

And you're going to walk in. So is that what I'm expecting. Oh, yeah. You monster. Like, it's like, that's what I wanted. Well, I said last week, it's like reality midsumar. And we are increasingly getting there. And so I wouldn't be surprised if they were like, you're having a nervous breakdown and you need to leave the show.

Go via the plank. But they let her leave. But we're going to talk about episode six, okay? So I guess spoiler alert if you don't want to know what happens on Love Island. We have to. Or, yeah, love, no, love overboard. Sorry. Please, MJ.

Different. I couldn't even correct you. I just knew that it wasn't that one. Not that. It's not below deck. It's something. We are going to spoil it because I want you to know, I'm going to say it. And like, I was watching these episodes.

I'm like, why am I watching the show? The show is insane. Don't get me wrong. These people are crazy. Don't get me wrong. And it was, as somebody that has a boutique flu, perfect to have on in the background. Yeah. Until I hit episode six and I was like, this is a nugget of gold that we have found.

Yeah. Because I don't know. if I can blame like the zoomer stare. I know that I made like a quick joke of like, is it just the zoomer stare? Is that what the issue was? Let's set this up. Okay. All right. Let's set it up. And you might still want to watch the show after this because you might be intrigued. You've got to. So, so you heard Jackie just mentioned it the very, the first episode, they do this pair off thing. David, you fucking pussy. David! They do this pair off thing. And one of the first couples is David and Lowe. You might remember.

David from us talking last week, me explaining that David is a proud children's therapist. How is he a child's therapist, MJ? How? How? I don't know. After the way he acted, I was like, was he lying when he said he's a child? He must be. I like, I actually don't know how anybody who could achieve that level of like schooling could be this like ignorant of how to be a human being on earth. but he also works in pediatric trauma therapy. So how are you able to help children through their darkest moments? Well, actively traumatizing adults.

Actively. So, because this, they were from the hip, you, we've all watched these shows. We all know that a lot of these shows oftentimes will have one, maybe two of the it couple, that they're together from the beginning. They're the OG ones that came in the show. And they're going to be together forever. They act like they're an old couple. They're like, you know, they're joking.

They're all calling them like mom and dad. Even though they've known each other for days. They're talking about. But again, they're on a boat. They don't have their phones. They don't have anything else to do. They're just jawing at each other. So they're talking about marriage.

They're talking about kids. They're talking about like blending their lives together. But meanwhile. Then under the surface. But then. But before all of that, everything, he asks her to be his girlfriend. He asks her to be his girlfriend. But crucially, before he asks her to be his girlfriend, what he says right in the beginning of the first episode is, I'm a children's therapist and I love Tiggle Bitties.

And so. Tiggie, Tiggie, Tiggie all bitties. And unfortunately, he gets partnered with a lovely woman. Beautiful woman. Beautiful woman love. lovely woman Lowe who they are compatible enough to act like an old married couple except. But she's a gnatty. She's a girl, the girl's natty.

And that's, they're another wrong natty. She's got a beautiful, natural chest that is not gazonga, gazonga huge. And he cannot get a heart. Jake and I quote you, Lowe. Well, you're not gazonga, gazonga huge. I don't want to insult Lowe's rack. She's got a great rack. No, Lowe is beautiful.

No, Lowe's a beautiful person. But David is up until episode six, every episode until episode six, he's like, I know I feel like I really have a great match with Lowe. I can imagine marrying her. I could imagine her being the mother of my children. But I just keep not being sexually satisfied. And it's because he misses big tits. He misses big tits. Did you get to the part later on where they show, which again, you're always being, David specifically is the one that's like, oh my God, her father's going to watch this.

Oh, my God, her brother's going to watch this. And he keeps doing this. a human on earth if your job is mental and emotional health yeah exactly and then he says on camera that he did it like they kept hook it up but he didn't come once he tells him one of the guys i we keep having like we keep hooking up and i'm not coming and i'm not coming because he's not attracted to her and here's the thing guys there's nothing that's okay that's okay but you could i think it's seemed, the man felt trapped. Completely.

And it felt like he didn't know how to get out of it. And then the shipwreckers enter the villa. And I love that the bombshells be called shipwreckers here on Love Overbord, because the shipwreckers show up and boy is one of them, I believe, made out of plastic. And if she's not made out of plastic, well, the, the, The God that they believe in may have gifted them in different places, all right? If she's not made out of plastic, then, yeah, then she's a miracle amongst us. She's got a miracle of us. I've never seen a human body like that.

In fact, you know, I think during the massage scene between them on the date, you can actually see the scars from the BBL, which is interesting. And again, we say this without judgment. Get your BBL. Get your big. If you could go through with it, honestly, I love the idea. It's just the fact that, like, you can't sit, stand or lay down for like six weeks. And so I just feel like to me, and it has nothing to do with, honestly, I would.

If it were easier, I'd probably get a BBL in a heartbeat. But apparently, very difficult surgery to have. So she comes in with her gigantic knockers and her big BBL. Biggle, big old, bill, bill, bill. And David is immediately like, I'm in danger. But does he go to his girlfriend and who just like low is obviously lovely. But to be fair, low is going real hard, real fast. She's like, that's my man.

She's very scary. No one can talk to my man. We're going to write off into the sunset together. I'm already planning our wedding. So like I understand why David feels trapped. But what he could be scared. Yeah. What he could have done is.

I'm attracted to scary women as well. This is, I completely understand. Someone that puts that fear in me, I immediately feel tingles down below. It is difficult. It's difficult for me. And he's not feeling tingles. And you know who's the first person? When you're not feeling tingles for somebody, the first person you tell, multiple choice.

Should it be, A, a guy at the gym, B, the cameras interviewing you for a national television show, or C, the girl you're dating, who you don't feel tingles for. He decides to tell A and B first. He doesn't tell anything to load. Never once does he say to her, I really think you're great, but I'm just where physical compatibility is not working. this is, or maybe it's like, this is very fast. Yeah. We've really only known each other for like a week. I don't know if I feel exactly the same way, but instead, deer in the fucking headlights,

which I guess this was just, you know, it was showing what was to come because he just couldn't tell her how he felt. So then cut to shipwrecker coming into the yacht and shipwrecker immediately sees David, knows that's her type is like that's who I'm going after she goes to like challenge Lowe the second she gets in there and Lowe immediately goes to her

and is like just so you know Val he's mine and you're not gonna fucking have him and like comes out of the defensive so Val brand new was like oh oh I'm not am I I'm pretty sure I got brought on this show to be a fucking

shitbracker and so that bitch Now, she's not a bitch. She's not, I mean, it's funny. This part is bitchy. This, we'll talk about this because what happens, we'll talk about what happens. Because I find it fascinating, too, how the rhetoric has changed and I do appreciate that, which is why we're going to talk about it. Yes, we talk all the time about how women on reality shows are now encouraged to target their rates towards the men and not the women.

So we're like, not allowed to say that this woman did a bitchy thing. I think she did do a bitchy thing. This was a bitchy thing because what she does is she's immediately. given the option to go on a date. And on this show, when you go on a date, no matter what, if you go on a date, two people are going to end up on the plank. Yeah. Because if you go on a date, then you have to, that means they are trying to break you up and then you have to choose between the new person and the person that you were with. And if you don't get shows, then you go into the sea. You go into the sea. And we're not talking about that sea. We're

talking about the big sea out there. And it means you're not getting. And it's a lot. And it means you're not get into the sea. And this person, so they go on a date and he's just like, baby, to low, I love you. I'm loyal. I'm an oak. No way I would never, ever. It's like, does this hole. I'm like, wow.

You're my girlfriend. And then that's, yeah, and then he asks. Then it's like, oh, it's like, you're my girlfriend. There's a way, I'm going to go on this date with this poor sap. And I'm going to come back. and it's going to be so sad for her. Yes. And what happens, MJ?

What happens? Do they go on the date and it is a sexy massage date? They're slapping each other's asses. They're all over each other. Then they put honey all over each other and they're all sticky. And then they go and they take a shower. And inside of the shower. We, the audience, hear the sounds of blowing.

Blowing. I'm sorry. I believe the phrase was Falatios and shit Which I did write down Because when he was asked Later on, what did you do? What did you do on the date?

What did you do? What did you do? And he goes, I don't know, Falacios and shit. I don't know fallacious and shit If someone said that to me I don't know I'm I just, and this isn't even the funniest part.

No, not even close. The funniest part, you guys, you have to come along for this journey with us. There's much more and it keeps getting better. And then he just obviously just so cheats on her, cheats on her. And then like not only all of this is happening off camera, they get into a hot tub. She's straddling him and she's like, hump and riding against him. And they're like making out. And then he gets back from the date.

He sees Lowe on the boat, says nothing. They go to get ready. Lowe took a nap that day, her friend said, because she was so chill about this boy going on this date. And then she's like, this is crazy. She's like, I guess we may as well go out on this plank. All right. I guess we're going to watch this bitch drop.

I feel so bad for this bitch who's about to be humiliated. You feel so bad for this fucking bitch. And then this motherfucker for 45 minutes stood in abject silence as these poor women stood in scantily clad outfits. Like evening wear. Eveningware. At the end of this like genuine long thin. Like an actual plank that is actually hanging over the sea. where they're not like tethered to anything.

No. Because as someone that like I did, I did that little bit on only murders in the building and I was on a fire escape and they had to fully strap me into the building just because I was out on the fire escape. I had to have a full stunt person there standing with me just because I was on a fire escape. These bitches don't even have a rope. They got nothing. They are just out there. 45 minutes. and all of the other people are like, make a decision.

You can't just leave them out there. She's your girlfriend. What are you doing? Because none of them knew that he had done felicitos and shit. None of them knew. And he just, and he's standing there and he's panicking. And he's like, Lowe, the girlfriend, he's like, I don't know if you would forgive me for what happened on the date.

And Lowe, who's trying to save herself from being plunged into the sea is like, well, why don't we talk about it? I would forgive it. I'd forgive it. How can you make a decision if, like, I don't even know. I'll forgive it, whatever it is. I'll forgive it.

Which we all know. That bitch wouldn't even let him look at another woman. You think that she would forgive it? She would definitely not have forgiven it. And she shouldn't have. I'm saying that she should not have. No, he shot himself in so many feet. It's impossible to, but he feels so guilty and whatever.

And so he can't make a decision. He doesn't know what to do. He leaves those women on the plank for 45 minutes. They're begging to get off the plank. They're like, just make it. any choice. And he's just, I, to me, I'm going to say it, I guess that's my biggest ick. I guess making me stand out on a plank for 45 minutes, I would never touch that piece of garbage ever again. Even if he chose me. Don't fucking touch me. Don't fucking look at me.

I don't give a shit. It's a day new situation. Like, even if he had not made them stand on the plank. It's a die a new situation. Even if he had not made them stand on the plank for 45 minutes, he's an asshole because he got fallacious and shit after asking this person being his girlfriend. Even if he hadn't gotten fallacios and shit, he's an asshole because he was obviously playing both sides, whatever, whatever. But so he's, and the women are begging the producers. Like, can I get off the plank? Please let me get off the plank, please. And they wouldn't.

They wouldn't let him up. And after 45 minutes, he chooses Val, the bitch who gave him fallacious and shit and jumps. the girlfriend. Into the sea. And the rest, and like, MJ, I know that you said that, like, you didn't watch, like, the last, like,

episode, too, don't worry. Because all of it is just like, fuck you, David. I don't give a shit. Why are you? And yet he's, because, of course, it's television.

So they keep them on till the, till the end. And everyone's just like, fuck you. And they keep bringing Lowe back. And Lowe just keeps me like, fuck you. And there's just,

it's just they keep they keep bringing back the people that got planked and they brought them back in and it really was just Lowe being like

but Lowe did Lowe goes up to Val finds out about the filatios and shit goes up to Val at this bringing them back and was just like you're low class

you're a piece of fucking garbage she goes at her goes at her and then she says that that's all I'm going to say and then she walks away and what I do appreciate is all of the girls, after all of the, after all of the, like, the dumping and everything,

fighting out everything, they're like, hey, you didn't know the whole situation. Yeah, they go to Val and they're like, you're not, you're not the villain here, he's the villain here. He's the villain here. Yeah. I will say, MJ, I do feel it was bitchy for her to ask him on the date in the first place. Yes. Because it was the role of a shipwrecker, and that is what they were brought there to do. Totally. I think I don't have any problem with her asking him on the date, even though Lowe was like, don't ask him on the date. You know, he's my boyfriend or whatever. Because yeah, that's her job. I think blowing him is, you know, when he went, you know, but again, he was not being transparent with her. He didn't say, I have a girlfriend. I have a girlfriend. He did not say that. She didn't know that they were. She's like, oh, I thought they were just seeing it. Like, again, like all of us normals outside of the super yacht. She's like, oh, I thought you guys knew each other for days. So I thought I wasn't really.

up like a girlfriend. Yeah. Like she didn't know that. So she's, you're totally right that she's really, she, it is, it's a very,

so what, what is so interesting about this. And yes, what we are described. But Lowe does eventually, sorry, not to say it, but Lowe does eventually,

and then in the end end, they bring everybody back. And Lowe does apologize then DeVal. She's like, I'm sorry that I said that to you. Wow. I should not have said that. Because like everyone after she said that were like,

Lo, didn't you bang him on the first night? Like after, like, yeah. fully had sex with it. So it, not that we should be judging anybody for when they both choose to consensually have sex with each other, which also ended up being another interesting conversation from the show because they tried to vote out Gia and, uh, that other white guy, that guy. James. James? Is it James? No, I don't know. They tried to vote them out because they hadn't had sex yet.

That's. And all of the other couples were like, you don't even really like, you don't even really Like, because at the end, they all had to write down things of why the other people shouldn't get it. And the other people, like, half of the group was like, well, you guys haven't even fucked yet. So how are you been supposed to know? And they were like, we genuinely like each other and we're waiting until we're not on this show. The experience. And she goes to bat of like, how dare you tell me when I can or when I should have sex? And it was crazy that they, I feel like on an old, like many years ago, them not fucking, they would have, like, it would have been more of that of like, oh, then you obviously don't even like each other or they probably wouldn't have even brought it up.

But I appreciated that it was a part of the narrative that even at one point Gabby Wendy, when I will say, they don't get kicked off because of that, Gabby Wendy hugs her and was like, and you have sex whenever you fucking want to, bitch. And it was just like, yes. It's very, it's really interesting the way that, like, feminism and sex, like a basic level of feminism and sex positivity have infiltrated reality shows. And that is totally what is small amounts. Very small amount. That's why I'm just taken at least little bits of it, you know? No, it's very interesting. And, like, if you're listening to this and you're like, why are you talking about this so much?

This sounds awful, like, fair. It is reality show midsomar. You are torturing those women, making them stand on a plank for 45 minutes. But what was. With all of them screaming. Big. Big a dissentness. Let them on the play.

But. You know, I felt like I was, I, yeah, we're watching Hunger Games. You know, this is what we're saying. This is just. But what I have never seen in a reality show is what happened after that, which is usually the drama in a reality show is who did you fuck? Who did you kiss? Who did you turn?

What, what, blah, blah, blah. But the drama after David does this, after David tortures those women for 45 minutes, the drama is men and the drama is men and the, women alike, basically everyone on the boat unites against him to be like, what you just did was so profoundly disrespectful that we will not speak to you. We are not going to make eye contact with you. We don't want you here. And I have never seen, like, in other words, it's not like, oh, we're mad at you because Val sucked your dick. It's like the way you treated these human beings. These women is fundamentally wrong. And every.

Everyone unites. Pediatric trauma therapist. And he's in conversation. A moment I actually legitimately loved in this episode, he's in conversation with this guy, Cori, who is otherwise like a little bit borough snoro, but Cori is talking to him and David is like, oh, I don't, when he's telling him about the fallacios and shit. And he's like, I don't know. It just happened. Like, I didn't want it to happen. Like, I didn't want to like cheat on Lauren, but I don't know. It just started happening. And I, it just happened. And Cori is like, I wrote it down. Let me find it. Cori is like, what are you talking about it just happened and he basically says like you you're an adult like what you like you have control over what happens to you like just don't don't let it happen if you don't want it to happen.

Stop it. If you don't want it to happen, stop it. And also he wasn't and again, for those that haven't watched it, he wasn't saying in a way of like non-consent. He was saying it in a way of like, oh no, my dick just like fell in her mouth. Like it was, it wasn't in a way of I didn't want this to happen. made it happen anyway. I just want everyone. It wasn't like that. No, it was like she blew me and I liked it. And I was like, I had my dick fall in her mouth. Oh, God. What could I have done? And yeah, what Karai said was we're adults. If you don't want to do something, you don't do it. You don't do it. Which is like, yeah, if you don't want to cheat on someone, don't cheat on them. And so everyone unites. A couple of

guys kind of go up to him and they're like, eh, we're still cool, whatever. But like, one of the men talks to him and is like, you know, how dare you? And it's like, I've never seen anything like this, an entire cast. And honestly, it was Tim. It was that guy that's Dayton Gia that, like, he was the one that was like completely disrespectful. Yeah. I have no desire to talk

to this man. I have never seen a reality show where multiple men are holding another man accountable for being so fundamentally disrespectful to women. And that part was actually super fascinating. And then, yeah, the other fascinating thing is the Lila, who is the girl screaming,

like, fuck you, David. She goes up to Val, like you said, and she's like, I don't think you're the bitch. All of my rage is directed at him. And so, yeah, and that, that, you know. Can I just say, is love overboard weirdly breaking the mold when it comes to actually maybe kind of trying to help the people they're torturing? Because if you think about it, this is the only show I've ever seen that if people wanted to leave, they were able to leave, because another couple ends up leaving the,

Anna and Andrew, because they're like, we're friends. so we're not going to keep competing. We're just going to piece out. And they piece out too. But then also that guy, Andrew, who has, I'm assuming, not to armchair psychologist, but it's like I'm assuming like an OCD or something that Andrew has with his hair. He's very obsessed with how his hair looks and tipsing like,

which I understand as someone that like, who is mentally neurospicy, that like, for instance, if I decide I need to shower, like I need to have a shower, I can't think about anything else until I've had a shower. Right, right, right. And he seems like he was really focusing on his hair. And he's like, I need a haircut. I should have gotten a haircut. I need to get a haircut.

I don't have a haircut. And then he asked them on staff to cut his hair. They ruin his, quote unquote, ruin his sideburn. And he completely spirals. Yeah. This was like, a shipwrecker had come on the ship that he was going to go after because he had, like, met her before and he was really excited about it. But he completely spirals.

and he was just like, I need to talk to my mother. I need to talk to my mom. You need to get my mom on the phone. You need to get my mom on the phone. I need to talk to my mother. And they get his mom on the phone. And of course, they show it. And then his mom is like, what do you want me to do about it?

I do it, which is kind of funny. Why did you call your mom if this is the reaction? But I do think that he needed someone, I think he needed somebody to be like, stop, stop, stop, stop. Yeah. Yeah. And as somebody that also gets lost in a spiral, sometimes you need somebody on the outside to be like, hey, what you think is happening is not really happening. happening.

That's a generous. And I think that he needed his mom to slap him out of it. This is a very generous read on that guy because that guy is also like a horrific misogynist. Oh, no, true. I'm not talking neurospicy aside. Totally. I mean like, no, horrific misogynist. But no, I appreciate this read on him of like that meltdown that he had because it just

seems like very childish. And he is like, fundamentally, I don't think he's ever talked to a woman unless he wants to fuck them. But then the interesting thing that happens with him is that he's. He ends up making friends with this extremely hot woman who for some reason, he can't get a boner for her. And he's just like, yeah, I mean, I just am so not attracted to her. I mean, he keeps being like, she's beautiful.

What's wrong with you? I do wonder if it's too buddy buddy. I think that like he's just not into, he's like, she's hot, but she like acts like a person. She talks to me. And he literally says, I've never had a female friend before. And it kind of, you can see his mind busting wide open. I know. I know love overboard is.

trash, but the things that have been happening on Love Overboard, the conversation. Fascinating. And Lila. We watched so many of these shows. How many of these shows that I also watch that I don't even bring up? Because I'm like, ah, it's just another one of these. This ended up being a more fascinating show that I expected. Completely fascinating. And yeah, at first I was like, oh my gosh, Leila's 21, get off the boat. And then she is bringing all this really interesting analysis to what's going on. She's lifting up the other women. She's talking about the gender dynamics. I'm like, go off Zubers. I actually love this show. It's, I mean, that said, there should be, somebody should be charged with a crime for making those two women stand on the

plank. They should have been dethered to the boat or something. They should have been, something should have been helped. Truly horrible. But an interesting, an interesting watch, a truly fascinating watch. I also, I don't know if we're going to get like a re, I looked it up. I don't know if we're getting a reunion. Like I was like, I need to know. to know more. I want, I need more, because you know, there's no way Val and David ever spoke to each other ever again after that. Oh, right? Like, I don't, I mean, and this is, even though what David did is very, very, very unforgivable, this is one of those times where reality makes me uncomfortable because I'm like, I'm actually, you did such a bad thing on television that I'm not sure

how you will return to your life. Like at one point, Leila screams at it, this is fucking television, you fucking idiot? What did you think would happen? And it's like he took such a shit on TV that I'm actually like, it's like how you told me the love island. I think all the time about how the Love Island people are put on a psychiatric hold after they return. After they return.

I'm like David needs to be on a psychiatric cold because he really blew his life up. How does, how do you go back to being a pediatric trauma therapist after this? Yeah. You let them stand there for 45 minutes. Like at least you can't make a decision. You'd be like, I'm not making a decision until they're off that plank. I need them off that plank and then I will make, like, do something. Do something.

Anything, anything aside from what he did. I've never seen. I've never seen anything like that on a reality show. I cannot believe the producers didn't come in and save those women. I can't believe he identified himself as a pediatric therapist. I can't. how he's going to act. Like, I can't believe it.

I truly can't believe it. But, you know, I wish nothing but the best for all the other people on the show, except for Andrew, who. Oh, I just. Yeah, well, maybe I wish for the best. Maybe having a female friend will make him a better man. I hope having a female friend will make him a better man. Because also it's like he had said he, like, left Wall Street behind. But then watching that scene, it's like, is it because, like, that you need to go work on your brain?

Because you might need to go work on your brain instead of doing. all this stuff for a little bit. Like, again, a crash out like that, I understand it. But I also get help for the crash outs that I have. And I hope that he does do. This is, I am really compelled by your analysis of this. Because I was thinking about this in the context of like all of the like look smaxing

Manosphere stuff. And I was like, I mean, it could be that because I have no idea. I just, I feel like if he was spiraling to that point that they did call his mom. Yeah. I'm assuming it was getting. He was having a real heart. He was having a real heart. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. No, I think you're right. And I actually, like, I think, um, like the moment where he, where he realizes he has a female friend and he realizes he's never had a female friend before, you really see this like humanity behind his eyes. Wow. That you didn't see before.

Didn't see it before. And it really is. I, I don't know if he means it. Like, I don't, I don't know. And I hope that he gets the help that he needs. Also, can I just say, I am going to say, I called him schnaz guy. I don't remember what his name was. it is crazy that I don't remember schnaz guy's name at all.

All I know is that that schnaz was so deep into that bitch, like that pussy so hard. What? Who are you talking about? In the end with the shipwrecker Christine. I haven't gotten there yet. Okay, so, well, the other shipwrecker besides Val. The blonde girl and the adult man who looks like. Jake.

His name is Jake is what his name is. He looks like like a child version of Jay Moore. Yes. A baby version of him. Yes. And his chest is waxed and he's got a real baby face and I'm like, you're too, I don't like the way that you look so young and you're here. But oh, okay, he gets with that blonde girl and eats her out. That's nice. Well, I don't know if he's eating around. I hope he is. But all I know is that they literally, they're like, well, we're on the downside. We may as well. So they take the twin bed off the top. They just put that twin bed on the floor so they could just fuck as much as they want from the twin bed onto the floor. And just, you know, they knew what they were doing. They knew it. And it's funny because they did try to have like a semblance of a regular show for the rest of it. But I do think that they only had nine episodes instead of 10 because they all hated David so much that I do feel it did shorten the show because they were all like, we will talk to him. And they brought in like people from their, you know, their pet, like their best friends and they surprise them.

And the Val and David don't know each other at all. And it is just, yeah, it was great. And you don't even need to finish it, MJ, because that episode really is, unless you want to watch them continue to not talk to him, because I'm just going to say, do you want me to tell you who wins? No, no, don't tell me. But I, I'm glad to hear that he doesn't have a redemption arc. I've never seen any episode of reality television that was this horrific to its participants.

And I... He doesn't even try to have a redemption. Like, it's just him, like, crying and laying. He has, he's a broken man. He's broken. And also, and not that I'm making fun of the fact that he's broken, but I kind of am because it's like, bud, what did you expect? A complete prison of his own making. But a truly, he's such a broken man that at one point a producer comes out and, like, is like, clearly trying to save the show and is like comforting him. but obviously the subtext of the conversation is like, buddy, you're still on camera. You can't just be weeping all the time, buck up and move on and keep acting like a man in a reality television show.

You have to keep going. And he just didn't want to. But also, imagine, like you said, you know, he can't go right into a psychiatric hold after that. And then having to experience the rest of the, it's just, it's wild because. Man. I'm in a program where I'm... But he could have left. The other people left.

He could... That's also why I'm like, oh, poor guy, but also MJ, no. He could have left. I negate what I said. We know he could have left and he chose not to. Yeah. Yeah. What's wild about him being a pediatric therapist is, like, in my program where I'm getting

like a certification to be a mental health provider, like a lot of the work of becoming a mental health provider, like, yes, you have to learn the theories in the foundation. and the skills and everything. But a lot of the work is also self-awareness, building self-awareness, building mindfulness, building self-reflection, like recognizing your triggers, recognizing like how you, you know,

because if you're a therapist, you want to be able to identify, like, oh, when I talk to this person, something's coming up for me. You know, there's all these reasons that if you are a therapist, you are expected to have some level of self-understanding. And to see this man just careening through life,

like, well, how could I not let her suck? my dick, she's got big tits. It's like, what are you doing? You're on television. What do you mean? I just, wild, wild behavior. I was so happy you knew exactly what I was talking about when I asked MJ if they had gotten to episode six yet. And immediately you're like, oh, I've gotten to episode six. And I just sat there and I was so sick. And I was just like, I laughed until my stomach hurt that it And I know I am a part of the problem and I'm okay with it. You know, we're this, whatever gets us through the night. Well, we didn't know they were going to torture two women.

I didn't know they were going to torture to. I mean, now you know. Now you know, now we do know this. And I know that it's the end of our show. And we didn't even get into all this Alex Cooper, Alex Earle stuff, man. I know. Look at you, Jackie. Calling the Alex Earl, Alex Cooper confusion.

and then everyone's like, how dare you confuse two women who are really similar to each other? And, yeah, no, we're going to have to talk about the Alexes. And I'm glad that at least their first names are spelled differently so you can distinguish in all of the mud slinging that's happening. It is a big old hubbub in the other, in the big old female podcast hole over there that it seems like they're all. and now the brand of chicken fries in the in the mix too and they're all coming at each other and apparently there is a lot now this is just from what I've been looking through a lot of people on Alex Earle's side but there's also a lot of people on Alex Cooper's side well and both of these people is the one that has the upper hand yeah yeah and I think both of these people by the nature of their jobs podcasting and

influencing are people who both podcasting though because one did They'd have a podcast on the other one's network. Okay. But both of these professions are professions that let us say foster parasocial attachment, right? And so Alex Cooper has her, you know, rider dies. And Alex Earle has her rider dies. And now the rider dies are at... They are at odds.

And my problem is I want to go for Alex Earle just because she was on Dancing with the Stars. Yeah. And is that a reason to choose? And she was a great dancer. Yeah, but is that why we choose her in the mean girl fight? I don't know. I don't know. I haven't listened to do enough call her daddy to know how I feel about Alex Cooper.

I love a feud where I have no investment in it. I'm like, I don't care what women wins. Yeah. No, no. I do. I hope that like, you know, if there is evil, that the evil is sought out. Yeah. But it does seem like this is just like a big old war that now they are.

I saw like the video of Alex Earl watching like waking up and seeing the Alex Cooper like her just be like, oh, you want the tea? I'll tell you the tea. And then she's like watching it happen. And she's just like, oh, she wants to start this. And it's just, it is watching a true popular girl cat fight. Yeah. And I don't know if that's too like pejorative. I don't know if that's too.

Like I don't mean. You know, again, the reason reality shifted away from this, like, catfight thing is because rightfully, like, there was a consciousness shift towards, like, actually women fighting each other isn't the problem. Men are often the problem who, you know. There ain't nothing to do with no men. And that's the thing. In this case, it is just two women fighting.

And yeah, it's like a Bechdel fight. You know, it's kind of nice. They're not fighting over a man. They're fighting over business. That is nice. They're fighting over business and money and I like it. That is nice. It is a Bechdel fight.

And, you know, just like we're wondering, can Jackie claim white trash? Can we claim cat fight as a, it is an offensive term? Can we claim it here? I don't know. I don't know. Maybe not, but it is. Discuss. It's an extremely low stakes problem.

Two Alexes are fighting. And we're going to see where this goes. We'll keep you posted on all the Alex podcaster news. I don't know if we will. But we might. We might forget about it. We might forget about it. But it's probably, I don't know, this is.

continuing on. So this might be a bit of an Indiana Jones here. And I say that because of the big rock, the big boulder. That's why. Because of the Indiana Jones show at Disney. That's what I was referencing. Who's the boulder? Who's the boulder and the Alex Cooper? I think it's Alex Cooper. She's the boulder. I believe she's the boulder. And I believe that Alex Earle is the Indiana. Well, again, sound off. If you have a dog in this fight, let us know. I want to be the monkey braids. MJI get to be the monkey brains and you get to be the snakes. And thank you all for listening to me and Jackie dissect the most unhinged hour of reality television that we've seen in many, many years. I had to tell you. I had to, we had to talk about it as much as it. It just, yeah, we, again, we watch so many of these shows and not all of them stick out. And this one is one of those that I feel like I'm going to reference. Like, oh, like David on Love Overborg. Like, I feel like any kind of like that.

kind of, because like, that was a crash out of a different flavor of an Andrew. That was a, I mean, I guess not even just say this. I imagine there's something, you know, trauma-wise of how he reacted, like, why he reacted. Why he reacted, right? froze. I think he just felt guilty that he got his dick sucked when he had a girlfriend. I think that's it. Yeah, I think he felt guilty.

They don't have their phones. They're just staying in there. They can't even bleed on anything. This chicken shit problem is a common problem. with reality. Love is blind. Half of those men get married because they're too afraid to just say, I don't get hard for you. And I said earlier that you should talk to your person about that. You don't have to tell them I'm breaking up with you because I don't get hard for you, by the way. You can just be like, I'm breaking up with you because this isn't working. But all these men...

But break up with them if it's not working for you, it's okay. Yeah, you don't have to be like, it's because I'm not sexually attracted to you. But he was just too chicken shit to be like, you know what? I've had a good time, but this is over. And I want to get my dick sucked by women with big plastic tits, sorry, I hope you have a great life. And then he was just such a chicken shit. He was, this is king chicken shit. We've seen chicken shit man behavior on reality before.

This was like the ultimate like fully, like the final boss of chicken shit men leaving two women on a plank for 45 minutes. Watching somebody just go from attractive to, oh no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no. In 45 minutes. It just took 45 minutes. Actually, I think it probably took the first, I want to say 10 minutes.

And then that's when I was like, oh, wow. Yeah. But thank you guys so much for joining us. Well, thank you for joining me, even though I have a boutique. I don't know if that's for sure. I am going to a doctor to get a check to make sure that I have the boutique sickness. And if I do, how do I, I don't know, what do I have to open up a thrift store? Yeah.

Is that what do I do? You know, you should be proud of your special unique flu. Thank you. I'm not like the other girls, like different kinds of flus. And I took the flu shot where you put it up your nose and it didn't even show it. That's how not like the other girls I am. And hopefully you'll feel better next week and we will see all of you guys next week. We love your emails.

We love your chatter on the Patreon. Please sound off about this episode if you watched it or even if you just listen to us talk about it. I need to continue to think about it. I were going to be thinking about it for a second. Also, I will throw it out there. Did start watching Margot's Got Money Trouble over on Apple TV. Definitely look into it. I just watched the first episode, but insane cast, I was intrigued.

I immediately, I love L Fanning. El Fanning and to Go to Fanning are producing it together. That makes me really excited. But it is also, that's what I forgot to say. Love Overboard is produced by Alex Cooper. I believe it's Alex Cooper's first reality show. Jackie. Yeah, dude.

Wow, this changes my calculus of what Alex I side with or does it. I know, dude. I don't know, dude. I don't know. Or is it like part of like Alex Cooper's influence that like there is more, you know, vacillation with the help of the members? Right. And why like most of the women are really smart.

saying really smart things. Interesting. I don't know. Wow. Okay. All right. We've got a lot to think about. Also, if you're on this, like, if you're a ride or die on either side, tell us your side. Please. Let us, help us choose because I feel like, you know, we're up there too with those podcast. So, so they all want to know what we've got to say. This is our domain too, guys. Yeah. So they obviously, I don't know why we're not getting brought up with that. the fight. So let's, you better watch out. So you better be on our side next week. Yeah. How many times did they sing on their podcasts? You know, how many doorbells are playing in the background on their podcast? Their podcast. How many podcasts do they do with a boutique flu

when they do it from home? How many podcasts do they do? But anyway, we're thankful that you're here. And we appreciate you guys so much. Thank you for joining us on Second Helpings. We will be back next week. Let's sing that song, MJ. It'll be better A second time around This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them

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