Page 7 - Second Helpings - I Do, I DEFINITELY Know What You Did Last Summer

Episode Date: May 23, 2025

This week on Second Helpings, Jackie and MJ reminisce about the classic "Daddy's Deli", MJ has a brief "Who's the Bitch?" in regards to Hilaria Baldwin, then it's on to the new season of  "Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" and the embarrassment and sadness that's surely in store for the children in the series as they grow. Jackie gets into Season 2 of "Andor" to MJ's delight, Jackie breaks down how slippy sloppy the new "Dune" films are, HBO Max is HBO Max...again, TLC's new show on poly relationships is baaaaad, and Jackie encourages MJ to get onto "The Rehearsal" train. Tim Robinson delights with "Friendship", and MJ gives a breakdown of "Four Seasons" to Jackie who's throwin' out the totally not insane "Final Destination: Bloodlines" plus even more in this week's Second Helpings!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It gets better every time to me. Does it? It does. I like it more every day. I will say the last couple of weeks, I missed it. I kind of missed the theme song. I would just sing it to myself because I really feel like it is just the upper echelon of theme songs. Yeah.

That we will record someday, but that day ain't today. Someday we'll put out an album of all the songs we have sung on page seven. And this will be first. Yeah. I think it will. I think that, wow, we're going to kick it off with Pottlby better second time around. I feel like that's the start of the second side of the album. I think that we need to be thinking bigger here.

I'm thinking vinyl. Like, I'm thinking old school. Okay. Let's get cassettes made. Yeah, that's a good idea. We can get B-Sides. Yeah. Yes.

And we'll have the B-Sides, Daddy's Delly. You'll be on the B-Sides. You know, ones that it's not for everybody. It's just for some. No one remembers Daddy's Delly except me and it was the best. moment. I'm sorry, no offense. It was the best moment of my life with regard to page seven. All the rest of the 15 years have been good. But you singing Daddy's Deli was the best. Thank you. Thank you. And it is a shame because even though I created the song, I also don't remember the song.

You don't remember it. I was doubled over weeping with laughter. I think it was the hardest I've ever laughed in my life. I think that's why I remember it. You're going to get meat at Daddy's Deli. I love hearing you sing it back to me because I'm like, baby, I was drunk and I don't. Man, you know, that is one of the things I do miss about being an alcoholic. I think one of the very few things I miss is, man, I feel like my songwriting quality was better back then.

You know, you and Holden both share an incredible ability to, improvise songs. And I do think that yours might be a little bit more alcohol dependent than Holden's. Although his is certainly fueled by, it gets better and better with alcohol, but it is just a skill he. Up to a point. And then there's a cliff. And then there's a steep cliff that he just, ah!

And we're all just like, we watched him do it and we didn't tell him to stop. Like, we all know that he's very good at making up songs. and so are you, but I do think, like, Daddy's Deli was literally, for those who don't know, it was just, we found out that there was a deli in the Mall of America run by Hulk Hogan called Daddy's Deli, and Jackie was so delighted by this news that she made up like a multivert. I think it had several verses. Multiverses, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was the first multiverse.

Thanks, Marvel. I should be getting money. That kind of multivor. Yeah, no, Twilight Zone, no, fuck that. No, no, no. They didn't do any of that stuff. It was all me. I created a multiverse.

And it was through the use of Daddy's Deli. So, oh, baby, you get those Daddy's fingers out of those pies because they're going to get burnt. That's the thing. You just can't, even back then, you couldn't hear the word Daddy without getting horny. And I think that that's really what it's about. It's interesting because of the current time period that I'm going through radio. Sorry. Sorry to bring it off.

Oh, baby. When you say Daddy, I'll say, how far do I slip? And that is not true right now. You have never been a Long Islander who called your parents' mommy and daddy as an adult, which is what Long Islanders do. No offense to Long Islanders. You're right. You are right.

But you do call your parents, mommy, and daddy. Kind of surprising that I even referred to my father as dad. I can't believe I just didn't call him Henry. Like, it probably should have, I should have just called him Henry. And then it would have been easier. And I'm like, oh, good. Now, that's why there's double Henry's. That's why you name a sire after their father.

so you could just scream at both of them at the same time. Yeah, I understand why you wouldn't want to call them Henry because you're too busy yelling at somebody else named Henry. Or you yell at them collectively. This also brings me to something I can't stop thinking about Hilaria Baldwin. Wow. She's moved in. Wow.

To my brain. You're getting Bridgetened by Eladia Baldwin. And this is because for those of you that are not on our page 7 Patreon, what are you even doing with your lives? Because we did just review. a one and done take of MJ and I read all of Manuel not included, Eladia Baldwin's book. And we do have a, we yelled about her for an hour. We did.

Over on the page 7 Patreon, go check that out. But what I can't stop thinking about, and I know this is a completely sexist double standard of mine. Oh, okay. All right, let me settle in. We don't get these very often, okay. I have no problem with, please, again, I know, I think I'm wrong here. wrong about everything, but I think in this case, I am wrong, or am I? Okay. Is this a who's the bitch? Are you hit me with who's the bitch? Should I get care around the line? Who's the

bitch? I have no problem with people naming their children after, uh, themselves. And I, that usually happens with fathers and sons, right? Henry senior, Henry Jr. Um, I taught so many juniors, like when I was teaching and I, I, I think it's sweet. I, I, I know the thirds. I know the fours, all, but I have such a problem with Hilaria, who again, in Spanish, pronounced Eilaria, no H, named her last child, Elaria with no H. I have a problem with it. And I have another problem with the fact that they exclusively refer to her as baby. Baby, the baby, yes.

Do you have a problem with the fact that technically her name is not Ilaria at all? Her name is Hillary. So she's not really named after herself. So she's really not named after herself. she's really named after a former version of her mother. So does that make you feel any less annoyed? And in fact, this reminds me that in another thing we discussed on celebrities, I have no problem with Julia Fox if she did,

although somebody pointed out she used pseudonyms all throughout the book. So maybe she didn't. But we thought for a moment that maybe Julia Fox named her real life child after her dominatrix pseudonym or, you know, her dom, yeah, her dom alt name. and I have no problem with that. I was like if she wanted to name the baby after a kind of alter ego of herself, I have no problem with that.

If you named you, if you're a woman and you named your girl child after yourself, I have no problem with that. I just have a problem with Ilaria doing it. I understand. And so I don't think it's really about... Are you upset about my Sims family because I have Jackie Jr.?

But I have aged him up and got the fuck rid of him because we don't want children in the house? I love that you named your kid Jackie Jr., and I love that it's a cross-reference naming across gender naming because I feel like we don't get that a lot, you know, although that's, I guess I taught a lot of kids who also had like girl names of their dad's names. So, but no, I love Jackie Jr.

I think it's great. Definitely I'm named after my grandfather. Yeah. I love the name Jackie and I love men named Jack. I have no problem with, I think I'm. That's my name. I think the problem is I have a problem with Alaria. I think it's not actually.

I think our problem is with Alaria. I've always and forever. Julia Fox could have named her child Julia Fox Jr. and I'd be like, that's a great name. That's a great name in comparison. I think that that, really, listening to four and a half hours of Hilaria Baldwin, narrating her own audiobook, really put seven nails in the coffin. You'd think one nail would be, oh, that was all we needed.

One nail for each kid. I needed to read the book to make sure that I was right, that she's evil. And I am. We were correct, yes. We're both correct. Bad person. She's evil. She's not a good person.

And I mean, she's, I think, a sad person that I wish would go get some help. But you know what? She doesn't even know she has a problem. And now those are the ones that you have to be the most scared of, which I would even say might be the entire cast of the secret lives of Mormon wives. Yeah, we're talking about it. Yes, we're going to start talking about it. Because, again, out the gate, even though that the other ones that are more at the forefront, I still can barely tell them apart. I'm like Lacey, Tacey, Gracie.

I think two of those bitches must be sisters. I don't think they are. Those ones who look exactly like who are always together. To me and Jesse, I had to look this up again. I watched them for five hours last night and I still had to go look up what their names are. Yeah, I don't know their names. I couldn't tell you. And Macy looks like she could be one of their sisters too.

I know. But they all, man, really make great reality television. I cannot, and this is just me in my like comedian bubble of like most people waited to have children until they were in their 40s. And I just look at the child brides. And I just, it's so much so in this one way more than Real Housewives of Salt Lake City that I'm just like, you're 24 years old and you have three children. And I'm not judging against you. I am technically very, very impressed. Yeah.

How do you build a career like that? And then also have children. I know. How do they all have so many kids? Well, I know. And actually, I've been thinking about this a lot too because they are so young. And yes, they are so messy. And not everyone who has kids this young is this messy as much as the wines, right?

No, no. I know that. And but I am kind of like. They don't have time to be this messy, MJ. Right. Right. But I am also thinking about like, I don't know, I'm viewing this season with a little bit more. empathy perhaps that I did with the first season because I'm like, Whoa.

I hate empathy. Well, first of all, I'm really afraid. I'm really afraid that I'm going to, I feel like I'm starting to lose a lot of reality to like not being able to enjoy it anymore because I just feel sad for the people. No, we got to leave that at the door. I know I got to leave it at the door, but like I really can't enjoy love as blind that much anymore because I just like, I'm so worried like, are these guys going to be okay? You know?

And I, and what I love housewives is that I don't feel that way because those bitches know they're making themselves rich. They're exploiting themselves for their own benefit. And so I feel like we're the suckers, you know. And so I'm fine with it. And I feel like Secret Lives and Mormon Wives is on the fence. So on the one hand, I'm like, oh, they're so messy. But I'm like, of course they're messy.

They're in their late 20s. Like they haven't had time to not be messy anymore. But then on the other hand, it's like, you got kids. Do you really want to be this messy with all these kids? Go figure your shit out. And it's not like you can't be messy when you have kids. We all still remain flawed humans. but it's the public mess.

It's the screaming and the fighting in front of the kids. It is the showing your kids images whilst you're having extreme screaming. It's that's the messy part that is I think I do have less empathy for. But I am now going, I'm only, I'm on episode four. And I wanted to ask you, do we think this show should exist? Yes. Yes. Because I was really pro first season.

And in this season, I'm like, I think we might just be watching unhealthy marriages. No. remain, people remain or not healthy marriage, it's just for the sake of the views? No. No, MJ, it's for the sake of them continuing to have children. They have to stay with them. You know, they keep putting the children inside of them, so they have to stay with them.

So we need to watch. Because if we don't watch, then how are those children going to get fed? We have to do these things. And they are making themselves rich. They are certainly making themselves rich. Much more than like, the love is blind people will never be rich, which is why I feel bad for them, right?

No, these people are all rich, so I do feel, a level of like, well, and they're choosing to be on this. The only people I feel bad for are the children. I feel bad for all of their children. The children are not asking to be a part of this. The children are not asking for cut to 10 years from now what everybody knows about when they're in middle school. They're in high school and they're having to deal with what their fucking parents put out there.

That's who I feel bad for. The footage of their mother weeping with devastation when she found out she was pregnant with you. Yeah. And you're going to get to see that. Oh, yeah. I think that's who I feel bad for. I also kind of feel bad for.

I said to, I was, of course, consistently texting while watching the shows last night because I'm not really watching. I'm doing other things while I'm watching. These kind of shows are not made to be sat and actually absorbed, all right? You're supposed to let these shows happen. Yeah. But I did come back up for air during the first episode when Taylor's whole family. And all right, for those of me that do not remember, Taylor was.

the one that got knocked up by that dude. It's like it's her third kid, but the guy's name is Dakota, who is a big piece of shit. Taylor was the one who initially blew up mom talk by sharing the swinging scandal. We hated her last season. She got arrested last season. Like it was like a home disturbance. It was nuts. But the first episode of this season, her whole family sits down and was like, you're a slut for getting knocked up out of marriage.

I know he's a cheater, but you better give him some fucking great. and you better go back to him because that's the father of your kid and you're a slut. Yeah. And I, that conversation, that's where I was like, should I be watching this show? And of course, I went, yes, I should. Oh, this is a good time for me to watch a show all about bad dads? I need it right now. You know, between that and reading Jeanette McCurdy's, I'm glad my mom died for celebrities right now.

No, it was a great choice for us. I'm having a brain time. I don't know why I thought I could read my mom. I'm glad my mom died. The week after Jackie's parent died, we chose to read the book. I'm glad my mom died. And I don't know where I, but where was I? Why didn't I say, let's not do this one?

Let's not do this one. Perhaps just the title alone should take that out of the running. FJ, I could have stopped it. I, you're not in your right mind. I'm in my right. I should have protected you. This is like, this is what a mom, this is what mom talked. This is what brings us together on mom talk, okay?

Mom talk, yes. Sometimes we have to protect people from themselves, and I should have protected you from choosing the book called I'm glad my mom died one week after your dad died. That says, I'm going to own this mistake. I should have said, no, Jackie, no. But I didn't. But does Anglia makes it stronger?

Is Momtuck going to survive this? Is Page 7 going to survive this? Is page 7 going to survive this? The answer is yes. It always does. My daddy issues were different. from her mommy issues, so it's totally not the same. But there are lots of bad dads.

And really, you're right, watching Jen Affleck cry when she sees that she's pregnant. That's not a good sign. And for that child someday to possibly see that moment, that alone, they should be making the show. And listen, if you cried when you got your positive pregnancy test out of fear, I'm not saying that's not a good sign. I think that actually is completely understandable. I just as the child seeing that. Putting it on TV is choice one that you, the listener, probably did not make. And choice two is that she's not just crying out of fear of like, oh, a third kid, can we do

this financially? Is this what I want in my life right now? She is crying because she does not want to be married to this man anymore. Yes. And something really to do, like, I don't think it really has to do with the kid, but it's like, but if you were that kid, how would you feel? Yeah. I mean, if my parents were on a reality show, you bet you bottom.

Dala I'm going to watch that reality show to find out. I know, especially, I know. I think honestly, I think that the way that influencers tell themselves that it's okay to share all this content about their kids is like, well, they're not, my kids aren't going to grow up and see like my Instagram stories, you know, where I, and I still don't think that it's okay to like, especially post your kids in any like vulnerable moments, which happens like so much online. And like shaming them or making fun of them. Right, right.

I don't think you should do that. But like, the way I try to talk about my kids is that if they ever find anything I've ever said about them, I hope that I only say things in public that if they found it when they're 13 or 20 and they hear it, that hopefully it won't hurt their feelings. And that's like, and so, you know, but so I'm, I'm struggling. I'm struggling. I'm sorry. I was struggling with secret lives of Mormon wives. So, yeah, these kids are, they can, they will have the ability, assuming the internet still exists, they will have the ability to go back and watch this show.

And I don't even care that the kids are going to be 13 or 20 and seeing their parents sloppy drunk, fighting with each other, telling the cops, have you seen Secret Lives of Mormon Wives? Which is a highlight of the first of the second season, by the way, when the cops come to your house and you say, Do you watch Secret Lives of Mormon Wiles? Because like this makes that's like a thing. And like they were both like, we don't watch it. No, no, they don't. Surprise.

In every conflict, there's at least one bitch. A huge bitch, a silly bitch. A little baby bitch, a raggedy bitch. But sometimes it's unclear who the bitch is. I'm Kara Klank. And I'm Jackie Zabrowski. And on our new Colin Advice podcast, we're going to help you figure out who's the bitch. We want to hear your.

problems, dilemmas, and quandaries. No topic is off limits. Does your co-worker flirt with the boss to get ahead? Is your bestie having her destination wedding on a holiday weekend? Is your therapist being clingy? Does your friend keep bringing her toddler to adult parties? Come on, there's definitely a bitch in your life, and we want to hear about it. You can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail, and even call in live to talk to us in person

about the alleged bitch in your life. Just go to who's the bitch.com for all the ways you can contact us. New episodes drop every Wednesday starting in October on the last podcast network. So subscribe now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. And tune in to our live stream kickoff on September 30th on the last podcast network Twitch channel, where we'll be taking your calls live on air. Help us help you figure out who's the bitch. But it's like be, yeah, be messy.

parent and be messy. Like again, that all is fine. But I do, oh, man, I don't know, I'm having, it's not that I'm not having fun with this season, but I am having more, I'm like, I'm, I have the Larry David facial expression the entire time. I'm watching it. I'm like, oh, no. Very upset. Oh, yeah. Every time Jeff walks through, this is definitely not like when I'm watching like a 90 day or something like that, he's not walking through and like kind of like staring at the screen. Like, he's not ask any questions he just walks in. He's like, oh, you're watching this, huh? Yeah. Oh, you're choosing to watch this. Okay. He wants nothing to do with it. He asks not one question. If they never showed the kids faces and somehow were able to and never spoke about their kids, then I would be able to enjoy it more.

But, and they do like, to the producers credit, it's not about the kids the way that the bald ones was, right? Like the kids are just there. But it is hard to take that, that particular. So we're talking on who's the bitch meter. We're talking less than Eladia. Oh, much less. Much less than Eladia, which is shocking because it is, you know, still the secret lives of Mormon wives. But they still are making great television.

They're also still making great television over on that Disney Plus because MJ, I got into season two of Andor and I thought you would be proud of me. Yes, I did. Okay, so MJ, we watch. So Jeff, for those of you that, I don't know if I remember. if I said this into microphone or not. MJ was so excited because the second season of Andor was coming out. And I was like, oh, I didn't even watch the first season of Andor.

But here's a thing. I said that to my husband. My husband was like, Jackie, we 100% watched all of it. You enjoyed it. You actually slipped and slid through it. You were surprised at how much you liked it. Yes. You did.

And I was like, no way never happened. And then last night, we watched a recap. And I just wanted to say thank you to the YouTuber that made a recap of the first season. I was like, oh, I should watch that recap. I did like this. Watch the re- They've got great recaps out there and I was like, I did watch this.

But here's the thing. It's one of those shows that they drop all of it at once. And we are now three episodes deep and I know we're going to finish it in the next two days. And then I'm going to forget all about it again. Yes.

Well, and then you can because it will be then you watch Rogue One because this season two ends chronologically. They're season one and then there's season two. Did you know this or did Gideon have to teach you this while you were watching it? Okay.

Thank you. I'm proud of you for learning. Season two will take us. Jeff explained to me A, B, Y, and B, B, B, Y, because I didn't understand it. After the Battle of Yavin and before the Battle of Yavin. I got taught that last night. Yes. I'm going to make Gideon listen to this episode just so he knows I've been paying attention

because he does explain this stuff to me and I can feel my brain as he's talking. It's like Homer, like the monkey ride in the bicycle, you know? I'm just like, I'm not listening to you. but I'm glad that I'm absorbing some of it. But after you finish season two of Andor, you can then watch Rogue One, which I do want to do because it takes you right up to Rogue One. And then you watch A New Hope, Episode 4,

and that's the chronology. Oh. And it will paint a beautiful picture of, like, how a revolution happens and how a rebellion is made. And I will, so what do you think? You know, we can talk about the hotness. We can talk about the story. Because, again, this is not,

this science fiction is not my, entertainment of choice. You know I'm mostly going to talk about the hotness because I forgot how hot Diego Luna is in it. And usually he's like, he's a little bit more slight than I'm into. Yeah, he's a tiny boy. Well, because Jeff and I got into the conversation

where it's like so many people compare him to Ohan Solo. But I was like technically as someone that is new or like like in the ways of like rebellion and like in the world of Star Wars that it's like esk. Interesting. And Han Solo's an asshole. But that was the thing.

And I was like, I would wait rather, if I'm going to choose between Han Solo and also, I hadn't read Akitar last time when I saw him. And his name is Cassian. And Cassian, who is my number one crush in Akatar. So I was like, I can't believe I didn't remember that his name is Cassian. And Jeff's like, technically it was before you read Akatar. And it was like, aha. That's why. And so I, man, Diego Luda is also, oh, that first scene when he's just like,

gives that impassioned speech to the person that was like helping him get the plane not plane what are the tie fighter yeah the fat tie fighter whatever don't ask me about the vehicles don't ask me about the vehicles it's like a plane with the arms on it there it's different but it can go in every direction it's not like the other planes and that is man every tie fighter is like uh I'm no bowing you bastards and I'm sorry doll you tie fighters out there. I apologize that I didn't give you the respect that you deserve. So that he's just so impassioned. He's so, it really is a brilliant, like I do find it to be such a moving and brilliant,

like narrative of like how awful it is to fight fascism, you know? Like I like a revolution story that's like. It's seeming pretty easy right now, MJ. I don't know. Like, I don't know. We're dealing with it real well here in America. You know, like I really like it when a story about a revolution is like, it sucks. And I wish I could just like be in love instead, you know, like I don't want to do this. And I feel like it's done very well. But, you know, if you don't want the tiny, tiny Cassie and Andor, you can always thirst for six foot five Stellan Scarsguard.

Yes. Which I didn't realize that Lutthin was Stelot Scarsgard until Gideon, I posted that NEP, that TikTok of the people who do the Nepo baby vocal warmups. and I have been walking around for weeks going Stelling Scars God, Big Daddy Scars God made a lot of kids and had a lot of starscards or made a lot of movies and had a lot of Scarsguards and so Gideon was like, you know who that is? And it was like, he's like Big Daddy Scarsgaard.

Yeah, but also he's Barron Harkening and I can't be sexually attracted to him. Who's that? You didn't go through, I thought with Dune that you would lose your slip for Stirling Scarsk. I never made it through June. I fell asleep.

See, that is the one. I must sleep right now. What Gideon is to Star Wars, my husband is to Dune. So I feel like I have to... I think my husband is to Star Wars and Dune like that, but I have not tolerated it. Ah, you haven't given in to the Dune. So I've heard, yes. I should try.

Because I can thirst for Zendaya and the other little tiny guy. Oh, Jason Mamoa. Oh, there's so... I mean, there's so many people to thirst for Javier Bartem. You could thirst for fucking... I mean, you can't really. thirst for Austin Butler, but you can, you know. I could, well, because he's so young.

Well, he's so young, but also you don't want him in the movie. He's bad. Oh. He's bad. He's a bad. He's a hawk and he's bad. That's fine. But sometimes he's also, oh, Jason Isaacs.

I, not Jason Isaacs. I, Oscar Isaacs. That. Oscar Isaac. Now that's a man I can thirst for who's also tiny. Y'all, there is so much slippage material in Dune. It's stupid. So if you have a partner that's trying to get.

you to watch Dune. Okay. Watch Dune. Because no matter what you're into, there's something for you. Because, you know, there's a Josh Brolin in there. I mean, even David Dostmalkian, he's not necessarily sexy in it, but he is a sexy person. Yeah. And he is in the movie.

Yeah. So I don't need to, like, I know, I don't need to be here trying to convince everybody to go see the movie Dune. They were like, oh, like a big thing for a while. But I am here to convince everybody. No, we already talked about that. Didn't we talk about that? What did we talk about? My brain just stopped.

That's what I wanted to talk about. The redesign of HBO Max, everybody. Get holding back here. Get him yelling about it. I was so excited to see. And I was just like, ah, there it is. There's the turn back. For those that I think that you guys have understood the way we say,

Max. Oh, is it over on Max? And that we are not alone in feeling. that it was really stupid to change HBO Max to just mocks. And you had just just say Max. Max. But they brought back the HBO part of it. They are reverting back to their old HBO Max logo.

And this is the change I want to see in our world. Yeah, the people yelled and they waited two years and then they changed it back. So, you know, democracy in action, I guess. And it's going to be the same stupid app that is a collection of all the stupid things, right? Like TLC will still be there and investigation discovery will still be there. But it will just have the reverence of HBO, which why they decided to take that away in the first place. Don't know. No one will ever know.

We'll never know. We'll definitely never know. You know it was somebody's good idea of like, let's wipe away what everybody knows about this brand. And the respect. Yes, let's get rid of all of it. And like, because now we're streamers and we're different than we used to be, but you're not. But, okay, I know we didn't have a second helpings last week because of your personal tragedy. And perhaps because of your personal tragedy, you didn't watch the show that is dominating HBO Max right now, which is Polly family.

Did you watch it? Did I watch it? MJ, I am losing myself in only the worst of reality television right now. This is all that I need. Are you kidding me? Not one but two bad daddies. Bad daddies. Actually, I'm sorry.

I think one of the daddies is good. Like, I think they're probably going. I think one of those daddies. Like father figures. I think that one of those men is a bad man and it's the bald man. Is it the one that is so desperate to know who is the father of all of the children when so obviously you can tell that one of the fathers are all of the kids fathers? Let's talk about this. Okay, Polly family. And yes, okay, caveat.

Yes, this is a bad representation of polyamory. Yes, polyamorous people. It's a bad representation. It's not fair. They are boxed out of a lot of legal protections and they are marginalized in many ways. And all of that is bad. And I think that people should be allowed to live. Yes.

And in any way, like any relationship that works for you and for your family. No judgment. That is not what we're doing. All of that. You're making fun of this family. The show. We need to. this show. And, uh, yes. So, okay, all of that said, it is two, it is a married couple who met

another married couple. And now there's, and a swingers community. In a swingers community. And now there's four of them. Which is important. I think it is important to understand that swinging is different. Right. That, that is a whole different. And so they met in a swinging community where you trade partners and obviously every rule for every swing in community is different. I just wanted make that distinction. And yes, thank you. And so that is their setup is the, it's two, so the, the mom and dad of two pre, who two kids who already existed before they met each other, are partnered with a different couple. So there's now, and they all, now they have had two more kids. No, they had three more kids. One of them on the show. And so there's five kids now, two of them, or the biological kids of the, of a couple of, one, and then there's couple two. And then the arrangement is that they, the, the, um, they switch women every day to, or no, the women stay in the same rooms.

Women stay in the same rooms. The men go back and forth. So each, they each person, I was trying to explain this to Gideon, and he was like, I don't care. But I was like, I was like mapping it out. I was like, so each wife has a husband and a boyfriend and each husband has a wife and a girlfriend. Good to me.

He's also trying to explain this to Jeff. And Jeff was just like, also, he's like, they're just going to use whatever thing they found for their family against them publicly. Yes. Yeah. And yeah, that's exactly right. But the husbands don't, not only do the husbands not fuck, but they hate each other. They hate each other. And the women, the wives, I think they might.

Which is really good for a family, by the way. Really helps with all those kids. What a great arrangement. Why not co-parent when the two dads hate each other? But then, and then the women kind of, they like each other as friends. It's a bit of a sister-wife situation, and also they might be interested in kissing. We haven't got there yet. Well, one of the women is interested in finding a girlfriend, and the other one is straight.

Because she's by and pansexual, and the other woman is straight. Yeah, but I think I'm suggesting that the two wives might be slightly more open to kissing with each other, certainly more than the husbands are. But they're not, they're for the most, but they're like, we're good friends and we're not interested in each other. but and then the the funny part is that they had what's the funny part you? This is now this is the hilarious part.

The funny part is that they have since had two kids together and they claim to not know the paternity of the kids because they don't want to know because they want to love the kids equally which is like okay if you're all parenting together you should love the kids no matter who their biological parent is. Yep. They have but they switch beds every night so they have no idea who's the daddy, allegedly.

And there is one child who is a mini-mee of one dad and another child is a mini-me and the other dad. And they're over here claiming they have no idea who the dads are. I don't even know if that's true. I feel like they're all the mini-me of the one dad. I feel like there's one kid who looks. Because they're so different. Because I think there's such a distinction because one man is like a big ginger dude.

And the other one is like a shorter, smaller framed like with big eyes, dark hair, like covered in hair. There's at least two of the kids who have his exact eyes. Like, they're so obviously his children. I would say there were at least five of the kids. But they don't, I, okay, I know that maybe we're getting too lost in the paint here, but I must discuss the fact that they have a group chat, obviously, for the four of them. and one of the fathers shared the blood type of the baby that was just born.

Yeah. And through that, of course, then they all figured out because of the blood types, because it was like, I think the baby's B and then one daddy is B, the other one is O, I don't understand the biology of it, yes. For this child to not be the big-eyed dad's kids. Yes, and it's definitely is. And the other dad flips the fuck out. Flibs out.

Why would you ever share the blood? the blood type of the baby when you know that that's going to tell me it's like, wait a second, wait a second. So you really just to to such an extent that this upsets you, why did you have more children?

Like, why did you keep going? If this was such a problem. If you can't love that kid in this arrangement, then you should not be in this arrangement. And I'm so sorry, but it is good to know your kid's blood type for medical reasons. There might be, it might be good to, obviously there are plenty of situations.

where you might not know your kids genetics, you might not know your kids' paternity or whatever. But if you can know it, there might be situations where it's good to know it, like, you know, for things that run in families. And so the idea that they're like, we can't know, we can't know his blood type. It's like, well, to what end? You're going to like, what if there's an accident? What if there's a, what if one of them starts to develop something where you need to figure out, where you need to do genetic? testing. Like, are you, if you can't love the kid, if you know the kid's genetics, then you should not be in the situation. No. You should not be in the situation. It is just, of course, and we knew that this is what this show was going to be. It's not a good example. And that's why it's not good

for Polly people. I'm not saying that their family is wrong. I am not saying that like what they're if it works for them. Hell yeah. But it's not working for you if you can't love your kid now that you know is blood type. And especially if there's that much animosity. in the house, it doesn't matter. Like, the fact that they butt heads, that the dad's butt heads over everything, over, like, how they parent over everything. It's like, then you're not a proper functioning polyfamom. Then you're having, then you're struggling in ways that like, not that I'm saying, I mean,

it's got to be difficult. It's difficult enough with just one person. So it's no, it would be very hard co-parenting with three other people. They claim that it's better because there's like more hands on deck, which does make sense. Like, he was like, yeah, we have a newborn and it's like fine because there's four adults. I'm like, okay, that makes sense. But he's really down with it and open with it are, I feel like, the two women, because even one of them was like, let me see you fucking. Get on and kickstart these titties and start making some milk so she can feed the baby.

Go to the Hilaria Baldwin's school of pumping. Start pumping for three minutes at a time once an hour like Hilaria Baldwin does. Thank you to everybody who wrote in saying that that is indeed a bat shit thing to do because I was like, this sounds like a bad shit thing to do. and then a bunch of people were like, it is a bad shit thing to do. But yeah, so one of the moms in Polly family is like, I want to help more. Like, let me regenerate my milk. And so, yeah, like, I actually think it is a fascinating watch. It's sister wives-esque, but without the Mormonism.

It's just because this is the family they've chosen. And they talk about, like, one of them, their parents aren't supportive and they really are, you know, upset about that. And I find myself watching this. And I'm like, what would I do if my kid was in this situation? I guess I would, I guess the answer is you support them no matter what, even if you are like, I think this particular situation's a little toxic. Like, you know, my kid's Polly, then whatever, but this particular situation is a little toxic. But I think if you want your kid in your life, you got to support them, let them, let them figure things out for themselves, right? But so it's a,

it isn't, I do find myself really enjoying watching this show, but I also find myself, once again, worrying about the kids who are, of course, on camera. And of course, these parents are arguing over them. Yeah. And then, yeah, now you have this dad who's parenting your kid. And I mean, to their great credit, they really accept like, we are all four parents of these kids. But these, the first, the oldest two kids were like five and seven or something by the time these other parents came into their life. And now you have somebody who came into your life who is like overriding your, your dad who you have grown up with his discipline choices. It's complicated. And I do find myself, I'm trying, I'm really trying.

to be open-minded and I'm trying to like notice the judgments that are coming up. And I'm like, well, if they're all parenting together, like there's plenty of parents who come into a kid's life when they're five or seven and then they're expected to also be doing discipline and parenting. And so I find it's actually been instructive for me to be like, what is this bringing up for me? Like, well, because you have kids around that age. How would you feel about all of a sudden another, like a whole other couple coming in me like, I'm going to parent them this way now? Yeah. I mean, I mean, I mean, it does feel strange, but then at the same time, of course, like, there's plenty of, you know, if there was a situation where you're divorced and now there's a step parent in your life, then that step parent is also going to be parenting your kids. And I think that doesn't, obviously, that doesn't always go well. But, you know, one of my dear friends is a step parent and has a fantastic relationship with the kids. And I've really learned a lot from listening to her about the challenges of being in that situation and coming into a kid's life when they are a little older. And, you know, so I was trying to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to,

to watch this like with an open heart and an open mind. And, but yeah, like to me, the idea of being like, I have another partner who is now coming in when the kids are this old and is going to try to parent them, like, that does sound very hard. Yeah. I, and difficult to navigate outside of cameras, let alone letting cameras into your home. Yes. Yes.

That's where the TLC comes in and perhaps TLC just shouldn't be. Yeah. And I feel like in moments like. this that you watch it and just like, yes, I can see that your family does need some support and guidance. I just don't know if it's all of the millions of comments, horrific comments you're going to receive while this show comes out. It's just like, again, think about your kids for a fucking second, guys. And I think, honestly, if we're going to get down to brass hacks here, of the four people in the relationship, the problem is to both wives love the big-eyed guy more.

there's just that bald guy is the odd guy out and that's not a good group dynamic. I think just from a group dynamic study. Neither wife wants to fuck him as much as the other dude either. And also he's a prick. Like he's mean. His sense of humor is mean. He's always cutting people down. Yeah.

And so he's the odd, honestly, maybe you guys need a triad. Maybe you two both share the big eye daddy because he's really nice. He's great. He's really great. And the bald guy is just like a meaning. He's like a, he's such a, oh, you know, he's like, we all know that guy. He's like a mean, sarcastic guy. Yes, of course.

And he thinks he's, you know, he's like, he's just being funny. No. Yeah, but it's not funny. And honestly, you're so right, MJ, they should just be a triad. Because the other wife, the wife of the big eyed dude, like the one that was originally married to him that has the two kids with him, she even said, like, I get a little jealous because I feel like the other wife loves to bang her. husband more than her boyfriend.

Correct. And like, she does. She also wants to bang her husband more than the bald dude as well. Nobody's really interested in that bald guy. Yeah. Can you imagine fucking that guy? Like, I wouldn't want to.

Yeah. And we're saying the bald guy, it's not about his baldness. It's about his meanness. He's a meanie. Yeah. And, yeah. And his wife is hot and cool. Yes.

And she now is partnered with this big guy. And they're doing great. They really like each other. I think about all of this. I think they... You guys know I've been watching Sister Wives for 19 seasons. It is currently in the 19th season. Yes, I am still watching it.

You notice I never talk about it. It's just... I don't need to. You never do. I don't need to. Everybody knows that I'm watching it. And most everybody... Notice, though, MJ, no one ever asked.

And I... I care about it, but also, one of the kids recently put out an article talking about how the... of the kids got paid for almost all of the seasons until one day one of the wives started paying out the kids. Wow. Christine. In case you were curious, it was Christine.

Of course, it was Christine. Wait, Christine is. The third wife. The third wife. She's nice. I love Christine. But I love Janelle. I love Janelle.

I love all the wives except for Rob. Well, I don't know. Mary. She has a lot going on. She has a lot. And she had a lot going on. on. All right. And all of them really do need therapy in a way that, man, I went on such a tirade last night because we've also been watching the rehearsal, which is the Nathan

Fielder show on HBO. We don't even need to say mocks anymore. It is like that, and I have really been enjoying it, but I just need to scream for a second between the pit and the rehearsal, because the rehearsal is all about flights. It's all about flying. It's all about flying and autism. and the pit, obviously, about doctors. And both of them talking about how in this day and age, it is, I know it's not illegal, but it is highly, highly, highly looked down upon and judged for pilots and doctors.

And I know, like, I'm assuming, like, teachers to go to therapy. And isn't that insane that this is still a thing, that, like, they will get reported. Really? Maybe something like if they go to therapy, they have to make sure people don't find out about it because they will be reported. Because you don't want a mentally unstable pilot. But I personally don't really want a pilot that's not working on it. I would love a pilot in therapy.

Would you rather someone? I'd love a doctor that is also dealing with their own traumas of what they see and what they go through. And I am saying this as someone that knows almost nothing about. any of this, only what I've heard in these separate things. And I'm like, it's crazy that that's still real. Right? Yeah, no, that is, that is, I, I, they need it. They need therapy. No, I think, I think the therapy should be, I'm starting to believe that therapy should just be like a class in school. Like, everybody should be mandatory. Yes. It should be mandatory. It should be covered. Yeah. And it should be mandatory. I think that everyone should be

processing if we are able to, because like, how many people would love to go to therapy? If they could afford it, if they were in a town that they could get to one, at least now in the world of telehealth, we can do a lot of things over Zoom so that people, it is not something that you need to disclose to other people. And sorry, that's just my little soap box, even though I've got really nothing to soap. In terms of Nathan Fielder, I feel like I now, the train has left the station so much for me with Nathan Fielder because I haven't watched any of its other shows. And I'm like, will I ever catch this train? Do I need previous Nathan Fielder knowledge to watch the rehearsal?

Is it building on his other projects? No. No, okay. Not really. I mean, kind of in theater. Like, you can really jump into almost any part of. Every episode is different. I couldn't describe, like I said it's about flight and autism, which is a such a scatter shot of what the show is.

because he is such a weirdo. Yeah. But also I shouldn't say weirdo because in watching the second season, it is interesting because I don't want to like, I guess, spoil it for you or for anyone listening. And I don't think that this is a spoiler, but it is interesting to watch someone maybe start to think that they might be autistic. on the show. Or might be on the spectrum. Yeah.

Like it is, it's divalding into that. Like, it is, it's fascinating. Honestly, all of it is just, it's very difficult to describe. But I know that I like it. And I know that I never know what to expect in that episode because he just follows it. Like he'll just be like, oh, that, I'm going to go. And they just let him.

And I know that he's doing. doing incredibly interesting things. And yeah, it's like one of those things where I'm like, I know a little bit about the Nathan Fielder discourse, but I haven't, like I said, I haven't, I'm like watching the train leave the station. I'm like, what do I do? Should I get on this train?

And it sounds like I should. Jump on. I think the first season of rehearsal is an interesting place. And I would be very curious as someone, because like I watched almost everything Nathan Fielder is done. I would love to hear your thoughts on Nathan Fielder just starting in the first season of the rehearsal. Okay.

I'm curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. Because he is, I would say like a John Mulaney, but I personally enjoy, I really like John Mulaney. I really like John Mulaney. And I like watching the two of them right now, everybody's live with John Mulaney and watching rehearsal. As someone that is trying to explore more in the world of experimental comedy, I'm so,

intrigued by them being given the opportunity. The fact that Nathan Fielder is being given this amount of money to make these, I'm blown away by. And with great success, right? Like, it seems like, it seems like, like. But I also wouldn't say that, like, I want to hang out with Nathan Fielder. I don't. I want to hang out with John Mullaney.

Yeah. But I don't think I'd want to hang out with Nathan Fielder. Yeah. And not, like, and I'm sure that is just his persona. I'm sure that it has nothing. I'm sure he's probably maybe very different. But I have heard word on the street that he's not very different. And that that's kind of just who he is.

But that's fine. Everybody's different. I really like the rehearsal. But I also know many people that hate Nathan Fielder. Right. That hate what he does, does not think he's funny. And I understand that too. Honestly, in the world of I forgot that we didn't get to talk about this,

last week because of my failure to be able to create content. The movie Friendship starring Tim Robinson. Now, Tim Robinson also, I have absorbed everything. Like, I've just, in a short about of time, completely given myself to Tim Robinson. I love him. Yes. The movie Friendship was given an opportunity, for those of you that are unaware, friendship. The trailer for it was like it was a horror, thrilling.

of sorts where he, it's about male friendship. I think you may have mentioned it two shows ago, but I want to, because my brother just saw it and also really, really liked it and is also in a big Tim Robinson phase. But yeah, so it's like, I mentioned it, but I hadn't gone to see it yet because I watched. I saw it last week. Yeah, I hadn't gone to see it yet because I saw it last week. It is great. You loved it? If you love Tim Robinson, you will love this. He doesn't like even Hulk out the way he usually. does in other things.

But Paul Rudd's character, and I'm sure that this is written somewhere, Paul Rudd's character makes me think of his character and anchor man, but grown up. Yeah. And so he's that-esque character up against Tim Robinson.

And I love that really the moral of the movie is men shouldn't have friends. and I love that. I know, no. I obviously don't feel that way.

I love that Jeff has a million friends. I just think it's so funny to write a whole movie where the theme, well, men just shouldn't have friends. I know. I'm like, I keep hearing people talk about it. It's about like the difficulties of male friendship, but I just keep thinking about adolescents. I'm like, I think I need to see. Very different.

But it is not like, it's so funny because we went to see Adam and I went to go see it. with our partners, we went to go see it in a packed movie theater. And it was funny because only half the audience was laughing at portions of it. A lot of the audience didn't laugh through most of it. And I don't know if they knew it was supposed to be funny, which is fun. Somebody told me that it wasn't as funny as they expected given that it's a Tim Robinson movie. But that's why I liked it. Yeah.

That's, I like that he was, again, I love seeing what fun experimental comedians of like, you're giving this money and this opportunity of this platform. What are you going to make? Right. And they made this. And I love it. And I love that it got picked up for wide release. I love that, you know, it's like I will continue in forever almost anything that A24 puts out.

I will at least give it a shot because I do trust them, even though I've, I've watched them. stakers from A24. I'm not saying that they're infallible, but I love that A24 is giving these kinds of movies. And it was, even though we have every movie theater known to man here, like every movie opens in Los Angeles. Like if there is a movie that is opening in any kind of wide release, it will open here. And it barely showed here. Friendship. Really? And that's why I want to remind everyone that it exists because I like that, and yes, not for everybody, Not a mile a minute laugh. I loved it, though.

If you like Tim Robinson, I think you'll enjoy it. Oh, I'm so glad that you liked it. Yeah, that was... It's weird. Yeah. It's weird. Well, now I kind of want to go see it. I still haven't seen sinners, but I feel like those are the two, those are my top two

that I want to see right now. Oh, well, as you're looking to get horny. Just put on sinners. It's like, I mean, or at least I guess the first, like, you know, hour of sinners. But it is hot. Well, I know this. has been a very talk and TV-E episode. Well, we had so much to catch up, but I didn't

even talk about Final Destination. Oh, we could talk about Final Destination. I also I kind of want to talk about Four Seasons, but you have not seen four seasons yet. Talk to me about Four Seasons. I will say, I started it. I watched the first two episodes, and I was watching it on the plane back from where, from dealing with everything.

So I, and I couldn't handle it. Like, it literally was like too many emotions. It was just too many feelings. It was too many big ideas. And I just couldn't handle it. But, MJ, should I continue? I think it might not be the time in your life to watch four seasons right now. And I appreciate you telling me that. I'm going to explain, I'll just give the elevator pitch because I really enjoyed it. It's basically, so it is a reimagining, a retelling of an Alan Alda movie from the 70s, I think, that is about like a same time next year. It's called The Four Seasons. But

it is about a couple like a friend group made of three couples that go on like a getaway like a getaway together four times a year like for their whole lives they're their friends since college and they're in their like however old tina fay and will arnett are not will arnett the other one will forte are like they're in their what is that mid fifties yeah and so uh so it's it's it's and colman domingo is there so need i say more i'm in my coleman Mingo era. And who else is there? Good era. Hell yes. Can I join that era? Please.

I don't think I'm hot enough to join that era, but please. I am really loving everything Coleman Domingo does. Sure. And yeah, and Tina Faye and Will Forte. And so there's three couples. And it starts off on their first, let their fall get away. and basically the premise of the movie and of the series is that one of the seasons of life. It's about the seasons of life.

Oh, the seasons of life. It is about how things change in this season of life. The kids are in college, but also about how relationships change. And basically it's about how in this tight-knit friend group that doesn't see each other all the time, but that has stayed in each other's lives all these years, if there's like one big change to the group dynamic, then the whole group dynamic, everyone feels destabilized by it. Oh, yeah. And I think it's very well done.

I really enjoyed it. I found it very emotional, but I think that's also because of where I'm at in my life. In your life, yeah. Just like aging and things changing and things feeling really heavy. Yeah, there's a lot of that. And so if you are emotionally fragile right now, it might not be a good thing. Oh, no. I should stick with my secret lives of Mormon wives

where I just sit there and go, like, I'm just high. I'm just like, if you don't want to be moved, and I don't think you do. No, I don't watch horses. I want to be stagnant. I don't want to grow. I don't want to change. I don't want to learn.

Not right now. Not in a place for it. I want to remain exactly the same. But I really, really, really liked it. I slurped it down. And I kind of want to watch the original Al and all the movie as well. Because it's the same, I think it's the same deal. But yeah, it's just about...

Carol Burnett? Yeah, Carol Burnett is there. Rita Moreno? And it's like a young... Oh my God. Youngish. I mean, they're still middle age, but it's like a hot, a hot middle age Carol Burnett.

Oh, dude. Yeah. This looks classic sex. Yeah. Dude. 1988. It looks fun. It looks really fun.

I watched a few minutes of it. I was like, I think I might need to watch the original. But I really, like, I just, it's, it's very. very, it is like very, four seasons is like, so, you know how sometimes you watch something and you're like, this is so self-aware and so for a particular audience. It's very much like, if you own an NPR tote, you will love it. It's like that. And I understand that about myself. It's like they went to a liberal arts college and they met their best friends there. I went to a liberal arts college and I met my best friends there. Me too. That's why I think it might be too much.

It might not be deeply relatable to everybody, but I found it very moving and very well done. And so go enjoy it if you can handle anything with emotional depth, which many of us can't. That's fine. No, especially with the whole world happening right now. It does make me want to go back and watch same time next year. And it makes me sad because I looked it up. And it's one of my mom's favorite movies of all time,

Alan Alda, Ellen Boyston. Yes, my mom kept bringing up same time next year and I was like, it's a different Alan Alda movie. It's a different Alan Alder movie. But it does kind of, and it's funny, Was this every mom's favorite movie same time next year where they would like, I was like, did you just dream? Do you know what it's about, MJ? It's like they both are married, have full families, but every year because like he was on

some business trip and she was there for some reason. They met at a hotel. They have an affair for a weekend. And then they say, what if every weekend, every, this weekend, every year, we meet. And they have just a weekend affair. that they do every, but then they talk about their lives. There's two movies with, that was 1978, four seasons in 1981. They're like different premises, but also quite similar.

I know, but bro, it also kind of makes sense of why I think every mom wanted to bang the fuck out of Alan Alda. I love Alan Alda. I don't even know if I've ever had a thing for Alan Alda. You know what it was, ER? He was on ER. And I was like, who's this old man? But he was old.

I love him. Jay, he was on E.R. I remember when he was on E.R. I was too busy thirsting for literally everybody else on the show besides Alan Alta. I think I think if you were on E.R. I just had to. I also thirsted for Don Cheadle, which I don't think he's a particularly common crush. Oh, I mean, I'm not taking more spent. I really, really, really liked Don Ciel's voice. He's got the sexiest voice on her. Oh, yeah. But yeah, I did thirst for Al-N-A-R. And yeah, that might be embarrassing that I was 10. And he was probably. 70, I don't know. I think it explains a lot about you. Between Sicking and the Rain.

Having aggression on an old, I think that explains. If you have a certain type of old man personality, it's really going to do a lot for me. Be a man, not even a boomer, like a man of the silent generation. Old, no, older, take it up. No, yeah, I want them old. Yes. Yeah, I want them barely knowing where they are. Yeah, that's what I like.

Yeah. You know what I'm going for. Does she have daddy issues? Obviously, Final Destination Bloodlines. I need to talk about this. Yeah, talk about it. I love the Final Destination movies. This one was great. Yeah. The Final Destination movies are so stupid. It is so, it has gotten so, you know, and like especially what they made, I think starting around like the third or the fourth one, where it was literally every scene, they would like set it up of like, is it going to be the light bulb? Is it gonna be this sharp thing over here. Is it gonna be? I've never done Final Destination because I saw the preview where the truck, the, the truck

is in front of the car and the log falls off the truck. Oh honey, we were all destroyed because of that. Are you kidding me? I can't drive. I'll, I'll move. I won't drive behind a truck. No. Behind a log truck.

Any truck with something that doesn't look secure. I'm changing lanes. I completely understand. Bro, not that long ago, I was driving. I was on the freeway and I noticed I was behind a big truck. that just had a bunch of like, I don't know, I want to say like 10 feet long steel rods. And I was like, I could just see. I've seen this movie.

I've seen it. It's just going to go right through. It's going to go, I'm going to be screaming and it's going through the back. I'm going to be trapped in the back of the fucking seat. I know what's going to happen. See, MJ, that's why you have to watch it. But you, but yeah, so why does it, you have anxiety? Why don't, why could you do it?

Why is it fun? You love horror. I just love horror. I love the idea that death has a personality and he gets pissed when you thwart him. And that as if the entity of death has the time to go and make sure. And so what this movie is about is essentially there was a thwart of death in the late 1960s. So it starts with that. And because death didn't get all of them, because they were saved, not only did death track down every single person that was supposed to die that day, he also tracked down every descendant of that person until they found the last of the people.

And it was so stupid. It was so, and they were like, but it was great. Really? This one is getting actual good reviews. It is fun. It is fast. Does everyone cheer in the theater and stuff? The kills are great.

It is stupid. Yes, of course they do. We're fucking hooting and hollering. We had a blast in that theater, especially when you see a Final Destination movie close to its opening. Everybody's there. He's like, yeah, is it going to be that?

It's going to be that. How you got to kill them? And then they would die in some weird way. And everyone goes, yes. Maybe I should do it. I feel like I'm missing out on this massive cultural phenomenon, but I really am scared because that preview has stuck with me so so much. But I know it's campy and I know it's funny. Just don't watch it when you're about to get on a plane.

Yeah. That first one. Oh, that first one will get you. That first one really did. And I know that it came out. When did the first one come out? I know. I'm, my anxiety is.

2000. Yeah, I was the perfect age. I was 13 years old going to see this movie. And that was exactly, it was, I just thought a, like, between scream and Final Destination, those at that time period were my personality. And even a horror bitch ever since. I mean, yeah, I've been, I just, I love horror movies and I love the Final Destination movies.

And I would love to sit and watch all of them. Of course, I wish, my problem is I'm a fast and a furious head. I want every franchise to get to that extreme. I compare every franchise. If you're going to jump the shark, jump the shark that hard. You know what I mean? That's what I'm looking for. Right.

And while Final Destination, I feel, hasn't quite reached the, you know, oh, they're mechanics that now are international super spies, but also they can take a car to outer space. It hasn't reached that level yet, but I feel like it could. It could, yeah. And I'm so excited because in the movie, we saw the trailer for the reboot of the I don't know what you, I know what you did last summer. Yeah. Not I don't know because then there would be no movie.

Like, oh, what did you do? No idea what you did last summer and I don't want to know. I was drinking last summer. I can't. I remember. I want to rewatch the I don't. Yes. God damn it.

I don't. I do. I definitely know what you did last summer. and I would like to watch them because everybody's, man, Sarah Michelle Geller is Gellerin out there, Slag Queen because between the Buffy reboot and I think she's gonna be in that.

I think so. Even if she's not, it's like somehow a renaissance for her, even if she's not in the movie. Yes, I also want to rewatch. I know what you did last summer. I want to rewatch it. Is Ryan Philippi there? I don't know.

I am looking at the, I think it's youths. I think it's used, but then Jennifer Love Hewitt comes back. Oh, okay. I believe she was, and Freddie Prince. There will be some Freddy. It'll be Freddy. Well, if he's there, then Sarah Michelle should come back. But I haven't.

Bring your wife. I haven't seen them since they came out. I never rewatched it. Same. I know what you did last summer. So, yeah. I want to go back and rewatch that, and that's going to be coming out. Man, this is going to be, it's a good year.

We also have 20 years later's coming out pretty soon. Very, very excited about that. Oh, my God. The people that made talk to me. me also just have a movie called Bring Her Back. Bro, MJ, did you ever end up watching Talk to Me? No. So Talk to Me, I believe is on Mox.

I'm sorry, HBO. Talk to Me is genuinely creepy. Okay. So if you're ever looking for a movie that's genuinely creepy, talk to me blew everybody away. I think came out either last year or the year before. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember Talk to Me. Yeah.

Just are putting out a movie called Bring Her Back. That debuts. I don't know if it's the end of this week or next week, but, dude, apparently it's fucking great. And I'm very excited about it. Adam and I already have tickets for it. So get on it. We've got, man, we've got some horror coming to you soon. All right.

Horror movie Summer. Yeah, dude. There's a lot. There's a lot of stuff coming out. And I'm excited about all of it. We got to none of the articles that I meant to get to. And I'm kind of fine with it, I guess, you know? I'm fine with it.

I'm glad Walton's. Walton Gaggins's wife has such a secure attachment. She is unbothered by all the people talking about him and Amy Lou Wood. Can we just say govaha? Can we say a guvaha for that response? Because can you imagine, MJ, can you imagine how I would respond to Jeff going through that experience? The entire world is like Jeff is in a relationship with someone else. And she said, here's what she said.

It's odd to see it, but it's an indication of how much people were invested in the fictional characters. to which I say that is what we call a secure attachment. Queen's response. I can't imagine. I'm sorry, but my, that's a K-W-E-E-E-N, Queens response. My fucking Queen's response, though? Oh, that bitch's going down. Oh, that bitch's going down.

Oh, you want to hear what I got to say about Amy Lewood? Oh, you want to know what I have to say about, oh, the magical experience my husband had in Thailand while he was also having all these memories come up about his wife that Pat? Oh, good. Yeah. Oh, tell me more about that. Hollywood. No, you say he loves me. This isn't about me. This isn't about him. I'm so cool. Collected. Yeah, it's not about me. It has nothing to do with me. But I, you know, I guess that shows I don't got that gog in me, and I never will. And that makes me sad. She's the only one who's got that gag in her.

But I got the shirt. And I do have the shirt, and I should, I would show it to her, but I don't want her to get, I mean, I guess she'd be cool, calm, and collected about it. I want the shirt, but I can't, I can't, because I'm about to only exclusively be in public places with my children all summer and I can't be wearing a, I got that gag in me shirt. Why? I mean, I was really trying to debate whether or not I could get a shirt that just says, cunty. And I think I could get away with it. Were you in a Spencer? I was thinking about Spencers, but no, I just saw this shirt and it was like a great tie-dye shirt. And I was like, I am Cunty. I do want that. But, it's just there's i know i can wear it here i go where else you wear that which is that's insane that i can wear that shirt to work yeah most people couldn't most people can't but you know i didn't i didn't buy the shirt in case you're wondering i know you're all on the end of your seats did she didn't she well i didn't we know that the mall by you also has a lot of cunty shirts at the spencers so the opportunity will come again oh god will it how will the world will the world know how cunty I am, MJ.

I need to let them know. And I do feel it's different for a shirt to say cunty rather than just cunt on it. And I'm sorry, I guess that I'm saying this word so many times right now. And maybe I shouldn't be because some people listen to this in other places. That I read in college. I carried it around. I love making people uncomfortable with it. Also, I just want to say that you get at least six weeks of buying the most pathologically crazy shirts you want in your grief.

Okay. So give yourself permission to make some mistakes. And they can be sure of mistakes. I, they can be shirt mistakes because did I grief get Botox while I was at the doctor yesterday? Yes. I didn't want the Botox. I didn't go in there for the Botox. I was there for a physical and blood work.

And then she said, my doctor. She loves giving you Botox. My doctor said, ooh, I made, like, I smiled at something and she went, oh. And I was like, why are you? And I was, and she goes, oh, we need to do something about this. Your regular doctor. She's a board certified. She's a board certified position.

And she goes, oh, we need to do something. What are you doing? LA, man. What are you doing? And I was like, okay, I'll get a little bit. She wants to give me 60 milligrams. I was like 60, there are 60 units of it. And it was like 60, that's a lot.

That's a lot of units. And she goes, oh, honey, I look at your face. I see 140. needs 140, but I do 60. And I was like, stop! Stop saying it to me! And then I went home and I was like, Jeff, she said I needed a 140. But then I did a lot less because I can't afford that.

And Jeff was like, I'm so glad that your doctor in your grief convinced you that the grief was making you too ugly. I could see it on your face. I could see your grief everywhere. So I pulled out my credit card. I was like, you're right. And that's so, no, MJ, I can't go get any green shirts. He spent it all on Botox. Well, you look great.

I spent it all on Botox. And you don't even look like you're mad at me. So I didn't actually even realize that you got. Well, it hasn't settled into my face yet. Don't worry. There is time for me to look like the Joker. Next week. And it will be next week.

I'll ever write a note on my desk that says Jackie's not mad at you. Just look to her face. look to her unsqueenching face and see a woman who has never grieved a day in her life. Yeah, what grieve? I'm fine. She was like, honestly, she really wanted to put it. I was just like, okay, just up here,

she wanted to go all down here. She's like, your jowls, your jowls. She's like, your jowls are coming in. I was like, my jowls are not coming in. She should not use the word jowls, okay. My jowls are coming in? Not in your grief. No, don't call a grieving woman jowly.

My father died a week ago. My jowls are coming in. in? On that note, yes, we will end the episode. Unbelievable. Everybody, thank you, everybody, for joining us this week on your second helpins. I hope you full up.

I hope you full up on that reality show talk because I'm sure we're going to talk about more secret lives and Mormon wives by next week because it's their fault that they put all the episodes out at once. We must watch them this fast. Or else, Are we even fans? Yes, I know.

It's all I'm doing. I'm doing that and I'm thinking about hilarious choices and that's all I'm doing this week. So we'll talk about it more next week. We definitely will. We definitely will. So come hang out with us. Thank you for joining us today on second helpings with page seven. My name is Jackie Zabrowski.

You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. You can send me Snackies for, oh no, it's Jackie's Snackies, which I want to already say thank you to Chad because we will be getting to your snackie next week to 480. 4 Laurel Canyon Boulevard number 378, North Hollywood, California, 9-1-607. And now I feel like stick, stick-stick. Yes. Right. Yes.

That is a very thick. B-O-Box 960s. Nickelodeon. New York City. New York State. 101. 10108. I think, I guess I need a song so that everyone can remember it.

Yeah. Work on that. I'll work on that. I'll work on the song. Well, you can email us at page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Thank you for the snacky suggestions that are coming in over there. And, of course, you can. can go to our Patreon.

Patreon.com slash page seven podcast there. We've got our Buffy Watch Along. We've got our Jackie's Book Club, Dead Until Dark, Sookie Stackhouse. And we've got our celebrities where we did just read Manuel not included. And I'm MJK Lcat on Instagram. Thanks for listening, everybody. We love you guys. Let's sing the perfect song.

Pott will be better. Second time around. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.