Page 7 - Second Helpings - Lookin' Like A Sex Robot

Episode Date: October 24, 2025

This week on Second Helpings, Jackie and MJ are talkin' 'bout the death of the showmances from Wicked, including Cynthia and Ariana if the DWTS appearance for Wicked Night was as awkward as it seemed on TV, and Jackie witnessed the healing power of the 2006 film "She's the Man" as she starts preparing for her "special moment" in her choir performance. Alan Hamel made an obvious AI powered sex bot of Suzanne Somers because he will not let her rest in peace, Kim Kardashian was on "Call Her Daddy" and proved she's closer to Lucille Bluth than ever before and then pays tribute to The Faceless's 2017 album "In Becoming a Ghost" at the "Academy Museum Gala". Jackie didn't like "Black Phone 2", and speaking of spooky movies MJ's watched "Shadow of the Vampire" as well as the soul crushing documentary "the Perfect Neighbor."  Then it's time for DWTS chat, including Jackie eatin' that Topanga hate, the Pentatonix dude leaving, and Andy Richter somehow still sticking around, all that and more on this week's Second Helpings!!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It will. And man, it is taking me everything to not just be sitting here singing Wicked. It's not my fault. It is the show. The show. I'm just going to start calling it the show. The show did it to me. The show around which this podcast is now based.

It is not. We're still going to wait for later because we know that we are, don't worry, getting some feedback of people that don't give a fuck about dancing with the stars. But also, thank you to all of those who do care. Who do care. We appreciate you. We hear you and we appreciate you. Because it's not going to stop, but I will put it more towards the end of the episode.

I have two things. I'm becoming Dancing with the Stars. Yeah. I have two things that are keeping me alive right now. And it's fucking Huntrix, live performances by Huntrix, the voice actors, the voice singer actors from Huntrix and Dancing with the Stars. And I have no other reason to keep going. Okay.

So you find your reason to keep going and all and we'll find ours. You keep, what do they say? up a Christmas carroll, you keep the holiday in your way and I'll keep it in mind. Yes. Merry Christmas. I'm across your lips. I'm not gonna...

My problem is what this... I'm not talking about Day of the Stars did. Okay, can we just talk about just for a second with Wicked? Just like, just Wicked in general. Yes. Because I will throw it out there, all right? And I know lots of people hated the first movie and lots of people loved the first movie. Yeah, no, I want to catch up on Wicked discourse.

My problem is that I am a huge fan of the musical first and foremost. And we love a musical theater purist. And regardless, I am, I'm still going to go see the second half and then watching Dancing with the Stars with as long as your mind. And it's just reminding me of, oh, my deep voiced bitches out there, that that song to me was my everything because it was like a, like a deeper noted love song about a girl that was in love and it was very rare for me looking through musical theater things when I used to want to sing.

Not that I could have ever sang like Elphaba, but she really, I just felt so connected to her because I'm not like the other girls, just like she's not like the other girls, okay? And just like everybody. But now I'm just becoming a part of the problem like the celebrities on dancing with the stars because all of the interstitials before it, every single one of them was like, Rick, I'm my favorite musicals. Like, well, it can't be all of your favorite musicals, okay. Maybe it can. I don't know. I feel like I've missed, you know, I'm seeing like a, it's like at the end of the giver when you realize that everyone else was seeing in color. Like, I feel like everyone else

has been living a wicked life for the last however many years. And yeah, 2003, I guess is when Wicked was, you know, came out as a musical. And I somehow missed it. I've disclosed this on the show before. I never saw Wicked. I never listened to the soundtrack. I never gave a fuck because I wasn't like the other theater girls. And so now I have seen it.

And yes, it did take me quite a while. I did not see it when it came out last year. We spent a lot of time talking about it last year because the press tour was relentless. And I'm wondering two things. How can I become a Wicked Head in 2025? And where's the press tour for the new one? I want to see those ladies. They looked like they were,

talk about propped up. They looked like during the interstitials of this. Wow. Were they drugged? Like, why were they so tired? Yes, what happens when they bring in an elephant to like try and do some studies on them. They looked like that they had been some sort of like, I don't know, like shot harpooned from something. and they were dragged onto the set to talk about it.

And maybe it's because they filmed Wicked at this point years ago. And they're just over it. Maybe they're just over it and they just couldn't possibly care anymore. They could not possibly give less of a fuck. It was a very different energy than the first time around. And the way they were talking, I was like, where are the guns held your head? I know they're behind some kind of curtain.

It was also crazy to have like parts of, now we're just talking about Danzo Stars. It was crazy to have parts of the actual C, like the set brought in and rebuilt for some of it. Can you imagine how annoyed the people were that had to come in and do that? Yeah, yeah. No, I did think that that was kind of annoying. But yeah, no, I now I'm really into Wicked. And I feel like I do think Cynthia Arrivo is a fantastic singer. and I thought that Ariana was fine.

I enjoyed the movie. I don't know. I know that nobody wants to talk about a movie that came out a year ago, but I enjoyed it. I'm looking forward to the second one now. I kind of want to watch it again. Yeah, we could watch it again.

So before I go see the second one. Yeah, but I do, I'm like, I am wondering what's going on with the cast because we know, well, we don't know, but we are 99.9.9% sure, based on Ariana's public appearances and Ethan Slater's public appearances. They're not together anymore.

Everybody adds. as anybody knows for sure that they're on the showmance is over. And yeah, Cynthia, honestly, Cynthia Rivo's and Ariana Grande is showmance seemed a little over based on how dead inside they seemed at dancing with the stars. No finger holding from those bitches. I tell you what, man, they were not looking longingly into each other's eyes.

They were not petting uponst each other like we saw during every interview last year. What happened between them? Or is it just that they just haven't talked? talked in a year. And they're like, oh, now we're going to do this thing. Oh, yeah, is this movie still knowing? That's what I want to know. I just want to know what's the chemistry of the cast.

Because so did they film, they filmed both movies at the same time? Is that what we know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you have told me that this, because at first, of course, last year I was like, what do you mean there's going to be a second fucking movie? The first movie is three hours long.

As long as young man, I'd got such great songs in the second half. That's what you said that the second half. That's what you said that the second half has the best songs. I'm just sorry, I'm singing it to myself. I'm probably being annoying

while listening to a podcast while you hear lightly in the background just someone kind of mumbles singing a song. But it's stuck in my head and now I just, I need it in my bones. No, I get it because I'm the person in 2025

over here like, wow, Defiant Gravity is a beautiful song and every theater kid is like, shut up, we've been here for years, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Where have you been? Oh my God, Elaine.

We're not talking about Day through the Stars yet, Jackie. Okay, all right, we're tabling it. But I need to, yeah, so it was Wicked Night at Dancing with the Stars, and I need to talk about it. But I guess we'll talk about other things. Yes, we need to talk about other things. I mean, I guess we definitely need to talk about it. I have to break this up. I was on a flight over the weekend.

And I was a little out of sorts, right? So I was sitting there, and I was just kind of stared off the space. And the person in the middle seat, it was this dude that was probably in his mid-50s, and he was watching a ball game and his ball team lost, and I tell you, watching a full-grown man have a tantrum

in the center seat of a flight because his team lost, man, is it annoying? But what did he do after his team lost? He immediately put on She's the Man and then continued to watch

the entire movie in silence. with no facial reactions. And I thought that was the funniest thing I had ever seen. Because he was literally going like, Oh! The ball! You gotta take him!

And then the only thing that could soothe him was Amanda Binds's She's the Man? You know, this is, I have been meaning to watch. Bring up She's the Man. I have been meaning to bring up She's the Man. It's one of those. I've been thinking about it all the time. I've also, what is it? Is there synergy out there?

There's a little bit of a binds energy that we all crave? I, um, I, I, I want to revisit it as a text. And I want to just experience, like, I don't, I can't explain it. Do you? Yeah, I do. I do. Okay. I don't know. What I want to see.

Is this, is this something that they, do we remember if they did it well? Is it good? I think people like it. No. No, it's not. good. I think that the answer is no and no. But I also, you're right, you know, it's one of those, you know, based on a Shakespearean play of sorts. And we'll watch any of those. Obviously, many of the rom-coms based on, you know, quote unquote, based on Shakespeare were good.

But yeah, I mean, I think specifically I'm interested for the gender, for the gender reasons to see how they do it, you know? MJ, maybe I should eat my hat and piss in it, I guess, because according to She's the man's rotten tomatoes. 79% audience score. There you go. So maybe I need, or is it just because we as millennials all feel like we broke Amanda Bines and that we let the system break her? And thusly, we should respond in kind by giving good reviews to she's the man.

Retroactively being nice to her. You know what it is? I think that. I mean, I love Channing Tatum. Love Channing Tatum. Love 12th night. And I think that for, yeah, what I'm curious about is 10 things I hate about you. I mean, you know, there's a, there's a concept for, for trans people called like the egg stage when you are trans, but you don't know it yet.

And like something kind of breaks you open and realizes, makes you realize you are. And I don't think I saw she's the man in 2006 or honestly ever. I don't have any memories of it other than the trailer and stuff. But I'm just wondering, I'm just wondering like if I had seen she's the man in 2006. Because I did do 12, I did like a scene from 12th night in high school. And I was like, oh, this is what I want to. I want to do the male drag, you know. Yes, of course.

I just, that's the part of it that is intriguing me. So I think that I wonder if, if you were an egg in 2006 and you saw she's the man, didn't do anything. That's what I want to know. And I just want to know what, what gender feelings I would have, a ponsed watching she's the man now. And they might be bad. I'm not saying it's like a...

But you're right. Maybe we should go back and explore the text. I just want to explore the text. I love this. You did say if you were an egg, and I appreciate you explaining that, but I just recently played a game where it's called egg chicken monster human,

and you have to pretend like you're an egg or you're a buck, buck, buck, buck, or you're a monster, and you have to play... You have to play rock paper, scissors with people. And then if you lose... that you become a, or if you win, you become a chicken, then move on, and you were trying to become a human in the end?

You've heard of this? I could, I was like, never, what are you posse? As I'm like, bark, bark, bark, bark. And then, you know, as I'm going through choir, trying to, you know, meet these ladies. I was going to say, it's a theater game. Yeah, yeah. It's, of course, yeah, we always play these kind of games in choir.

I played it with my kids. We didn't play that version. It was like a, it had to do with lions and tigers, but it was a similar. It was like. And bears? Yeah, it was like acting out rock paper scissors and making it a theater game. It's kind of fun. And maybe I'm just bringing up choir because, yes, I do have my performance this weekend.

Yes, I do have my Rihanna special moment this weekend. And how's that going to go? Who knows? Would you like to practice here? Would you like to do a little sneak peek of your special moment? Or do you want to wait until after you've? Yeah, I think I need to go wait to see if I can actually take it down. Because if there's one thing, man, people look at me.

They hear me. They see me. And they go, Rihanna? And I'm like, no, Jackie Zabrowski. And so that's, I get why they gave me this special boy. At least it's not the end part of umbrella, you know, because that's, they're bringing in like the, you know, the higher up parts for that stuff. Yeah. I think that you're going to do great.

And if you're wondering if it is two white people doing the wrap up top of umbrella, the answer is yes. Oh, no, you're kidding. They keep the rat part in there? Oh, they keep the rat part in there. Interesting. That is an interesting choice. But those are their special moments. So, um, that's the fact that I can't sing, if I was declare, I would have been given the rap part.

Like, I know that's a consolation prize for people who can't sing. No offense. People who have this. Am I, did I? I didn't just insult anybody in your friend group, did I? No. Actually, what they did was, I think that they found out who already knew the rap and was comfortable with doing it and making a fool out of themselves.

Because it is a skill. I'm not saying it's not a skill to. Oh, yes. No, very much. They, specifically. for the rap, they asked people who, because again, primarily the choir is filled with older women in their 60s and in their 60s and 70s. So not everybody knows the rap part of umbrella. And so I appreciate that Greg was trying to look out for everybody. And I think that, you know, I think also certainly some of the younger people got the younger songs, I think a little bit more. Okay. Yeah. But I'm just really upset because we're also singing, Nothing's going to stop us. And I really could have killed that.

But I wasn't given that opportunity. Wait, what's nothing's going to stop? And we can build this day together. Oh. Stand it's gone forever. Nothing's going to stop us now. But I'm not singing my part because that's obviously lower. I was just trying to.

Yes, right? What a creative choice to sing. Nothing's going to stop us. And umbrella. Bro, this playlist is off the chain. We're really going to be surprising people with what a choir is capable of, although I have let all of my friends know. Again, this is a fun times choir. It is not, nobody's polished.

Nobody's coming in. Oh, it's a community. It's a community. It's a community. It's a community building. I had to go out and purchase an outfit for it because we're not allowed any black or any white. It all has to be fun. And give me that opportunity.

but how many of these older women are like, I got a red shirt and should have wear a red shirt. That's all I'm going to do. I'm not buying new pants. No, I got a red shirt. I'm going to wear red. I understand. I've complained about getting the email from the, you know, the kids,

teachers being like, your child needs a red shirt for tomorrow's concert. And I'm like, I'm not doing that. I love this energy. And I need to ask, you know what, as a childless person towards a person that has children, all the kids in my life are starting to hit the. age with all the fundraisers at school with buying all the shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How do you choose which ones that you buy the shit for because all of them are in the same grade? So it's like, I got to buy some. So now I'm like, as an auntie, I didn't realize this is my responsibility. What I get my freedom, because I have freedom, I must then allocate certain funds to make sure that I'm supporting each of the kids.

I'm not complaining about this. Yeah. I just don't know how to go about like, I'm not trying to be too generous out the gate because then it's like, oh, Auntie Jackie's always going to make sure that I hit the fucking, you know, the goal. But also, they know that Auntie Jackie's going to help them hit the goal. Oh, my God. Just if it's like the chocolate ones, just buy a couple of chocolates. There is like a pyramid scheme, like formulation of school fundraiser. Tell me, this is why I'm coming to you.

I need help. It makes me mad. Ooh, it makes me. First of all, I remember when I was a kid, the only people who won all the prizes of the, the school fundraisers were kids whose parents worked like in a big office and they could like bring the thing and then everybody at the fucking office would buy the thing and then they all got the limo ride and I never got the limo ride my father hustled the entire NYPD my father would go in he would bring it in and be like you got to get some chocolates I'm not saying

intimidate them into doing it it's just encouraging them that they're going to buy the stuff from their children his gun Just they're going to do this. Yes. Okay. So I, yes. I actually do remember that I did get a fundraiser limo ride at one point. I don't know what I did.

I must have hustled. It was middle school and they really dangled that limo ride in front of it. Where did they take you to the lip? Like, Pizza Hut, I think. It was like pizza hut. Oh, my God. I would do anything for that now.

It was, I mean, obviously the memory is still there. So it must have been a positive experience. But there is like a formulation. It's good. I guess it wasn't so traumatic that I pushed it out of my. brain. So this is, I guess it's positive. There is like a type of fundraiser. I don't need to spend a lot of time on this. After this, we can talk about Kevin Federline or whatever. But it's like it makes, they dangle a little toy in front of the kids at school and they say, tell your parents to sign up for

this. And then the kids come home and they say, I need the toy. I need the toy. And then you sign up for it. And it says, great. All you need to do is get 10 other people to donate a certain, give them, give us their emails. Yes, it is an MLM. Get 10 other emails and then get them all to donate a certain amount and then your child will get the toy. And I was like, I told my kids, I was like, I straight up don't have eight email addresses of people who will do this. Like it is not happening for us. I'm sorry. There's two of you.

I don't have 16 email addresses to get to, it's not happening. Start mining them from all of us, MJ. I mean, all of us are signed up for all of them anyway. You may as well use us. Yes. I have, I tried to explain like the idea of a pyramid scheme to my kids. kids. I was like, Oh, did they not understand the grifting process?

I was like, I'll take, I was like, I'll donate money to the school and I'll take you to the dollar store to buy a toy. I want you to have the toy. I just don't want to go through this procedure. But what I do like, the, like, the end of the year, like, school classic fundraiser that where you get the, like, tub of cheese and, you know, the chocolates and, like, that's, I always do like a lot of, like, you know, maybe the food stuff. Yeah, maybe this a half-ass way to do the holiday gifts. I do a lot of holiday gifts that way. I'll be like, oh, look, your gift is a bunch of shit that. Harry and David, moose munch. Yeah, you get a moose munch. Exactly. You understand.

Oh, I understand. And that's why I'm worried about falling into it because you know I am prey to that. When he's going to look at me and be like, if only Auntie Jackie would get a chocolate. I'm like, yeah, of course I'm going to get the chocolate. Just give it all. I guess I'll do it. I was trying to push into Edina and, you know, the cares in my life, the people that are the head of the PTAs, I was like, if y'all had like a tattoo fundraiser where he brought in some tattoo artists and gave out that, like, you could make so much money. And I'll come in, and like, that's how Auntie Jackie wants to give money.

See, my, tattoos in return. My segue was going to be, I'll bet Kevin Federline never did anything for the PTA, but maybe he would have if there had been a tattoo fundraising. Do you really? Yeah, maybe. I don't think so.

We are going to talk about Kevin Federline because he's got his memoir that came out and we here, including over at celebrities, will not be reading it. No, we did, we hear at page seven, our official editorial stance, fuck you, Kevin Federline. Fuck you, Kevin Federline.

Fuck you, Kevin Federline. I'm not giving you a goddamn red scent, you piece of garbage. Because here's a thing, guys. It's very interesting. The timing of Kevin Federline putting out this memoir right now because of course everyone's like, why you dredging all this shit up right now?

It's because he's not receiving any more alimony, and he's not receiving any more child support. So he, even though I think that he was getting child support past the kids being 18, that was like part of the setup, he got every great end of the deal, essentially. Yeah. And now he needs more money. So what is he going to do? He's going to mine more from Britney Spears. And here's the thing. We are out, like, now we have all seen a version of Britney Spears that she's mentally unwell and she definitely needs help.

You know what she doesn't need right now? This. Yeah. I'm going to throw that out there. Absolutely. And just because she is unwell, I don't think that that retroactively means that it was good that there was a conservatorship, right? Like, I think that there's a lot of people that are like, oh, see. She had to be in a conservorship.

Wait, it's like, no. She also, or maybe if everyone that, she was in the conservatorship that had been in control of her, if they hadn't all prayed on her, maybe it would have been a good choice. But the people that were put in charge of her and her health and her stability were all people that were there to prey upon her. So everyone in her life. Yeah. And also maybe her mental state now is connected to the decade of extortion and trauma that she experienced because of the. conservatorship, right? So like I everything, Britney Spears, the entire conversation around this is so frustrating because like, yes, if Holden was here, he would highlight the knife dancing.

I mean, she was. We love the knife dancing, even though it's scary. And then, you know, Kevin Federline did bring up in the memoir that there were times that he found, you know, Britney Spears standing and staring at the boys while they were sleeping, holding a knife. All right. It's sensational. it's a sensational thing to write. We don't know if it happened. We'll never, we're never going to know if it happened or not.

I just don't trust him. Of course I don't trust him. You know, yeah, all of the stories that are coming out from this stupid memoir, I'm not, again, I'm not, I cannot speak to the quality of Britney Spears' as parenting. We can speak to, you know,

the fact that Britney Spears has gotten screwed over by him, by Kevin Ferdin, by her father, by every single person in her life, her mother, yes, absolutely. and that her life has been just unspeakably tragic. That we can speak to. I can't speak to her parenting.

And I can't speak to Federland's parenting. But I believe we can. I mean, I think we can. I believe Brittany, when she talks about how bad he was to her, especially in those early days when she was pregnant and when she had the two little babies. And yeah, so all these like sensational headlines. And yeah, you're totally right. It's just another money grab.

The man doesn't have any fucking claim to fame besides her. No talent whatsoever. He even tried a long time ago to sing. He tried even when he was with Brittany at the quote-unquote top of his game that it could have been. And you still sucked. Yeah. You bad at it. You bad at all of it.

I don't want to fucking hear from you. And I'm not giving you a goddamn scent. You are the weakest link. Goodbye. Goodbye. God boy. But I guess you are my AI wife. Hello.

Oh, no. I have to. Oh, no. I have to bring up because I was so, I know. You know, yes, I got got by a clickbait, who me, Jackie Zabrowski, shock of the lifetime. Alan Hamill, you don't know who that is, but it was Suzanne Summers' husband. Alan Hamill can't tell the difference between late wife Suzanne Summers and her AI clone. And don't worry, we're not just talking about a chatbot, because at first I was like, okay, you made a chatbot to chat with like, you know, there's no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, we're talking about a full-on, like, absolutely looking like a sex robot type of situation. She must have holes. You think she got holes? I don't know. I guess my question for you, MJ, and I know if there's one person I can go to asking my AI questions, it is you. Can you, like, I'm not saying sex doll. Sex doll is a whole other separate thing. if it's an AI clone

are there holes like is this man having sex with the robot or do you think he's just rubbing his dick up against the hard metal of the robot like does that make him think about his wife because of the thighs of no one has buns of steel what was the thigh master yeah I mean her thighs must have been very very tight but I don't know if they weren't metal levels of tight I you got to look you got to look at this thing you guys

You got to Google Suzanne Summers AI clone. It does not look like her. He says that he can't tell the difference. Nothing like her. It looks nothing like her. I can tell the difference. It doesn't look like her at all. What are you talking about?

It looks like an 18 year old fuck doll is what it looks like. It does. In fact, even in the almost Catholic school girl outfit. Extremely. Wow. It doesn't look like Suzanne Summers. I, if, in fact, Alan Hamill, you do feel this way. I think up the therapy sessions.

I think you should be talking about it, maybe a couple of times a week. I am over, I just listened to a very good podcast. There's a parenting podcast I like called The Mother of It All. And they did an episode with an expert talking about AI and its implications for like kids. But basically, long story short, it's bad. It's bad. It's real bad. What about AI parent?

Is that fine? No, it's bad. Because it turns out. You know, we crave, we are social beings and we crave interaction. And if we're getting a simulation of interaction from a, from a robot, our brains don't always know, especially young brains, don't always know how to cope with the fact that that it's not real. And that's obviously what's happening to Suzanne Summers, widower, who can't tell the difference. And I'm not, like, I, it's so, ooh, it's so predatory. I don't, you know, Alan Hamill, I think we'll be fine.

But like, I understand. We talked about this before of like somebody like used AI to like make a picture of like a video of himself like being hugged by his mother, his late mother. And it's like, ooh, I understand why you want to do that. I understand what feelings that gives you. And this is like so dangerous. Like, and I, so I. And yeah, now there's like, they're developing AI to like sue this, the mother of it all podcast talked about like these AI parenting tools. and I have mentioned Dr. Becky's AI chatbot

And it's like, oh yeah, good. Tell all your kids' most intimate struggles To a fucking robot with no internet security. You know, like no, and then see what the fucking robot tells you to do. That is his wife, MJ. How dare you call it a fucking robot? Yes, it is a robot to fuck. No, not just a fucking robot.

How dare you? And like, I understand you miss. I can't imagine how much you must miss your wife. But like, I don't know. know? Like, what if you watched her movies or something to, like, watch step by step by step. Bro, I'm just going to tell you right now. And watch your kiss, Patrick Duffy? Oh, my God. I feel like my biggest problem with reading stuff like this is that I'm like, I can see myself doing that. And I know that I shouldn't feel this

way about myself. And maybe I should start thinking a little bit differently. But if I had an opportunity. But the problem is that they're never going to make it look like Jeff. I feel like it's like cloning Barbara Streisand's dogs. I'll be like, but it's not Jeff. It just has the outer shape of Jeff. Yeah. And in this case, you don't even have the outer shape of Suzanne.

No, this is a repurposed fuck robot. There's no question in my mind. But yeah, I don't know where you're going to find a fuck robot that looks like Jeff. But it's going to have to be big. It's going to have to be really. We. Sorry, I'm living in Joe Mangonello world in my brain over in Socky Stackhouse. Oh, is that okay?

Not Jack Reacher world anymore. Are you still watching Jack Reacher? No, we put that down a long time ago, but I am still, yeah, trying to convince Jeff to go as Joe Mangonello for Halloween and he just won't do it. I just, and none of my score, and by the way, none of it is directed at people who are having emotional experiences with their eye. were being preyed upon. They are being preyed upon. All of my furor is at Sam Altman and the people making these tools. All of my furor.

All of mine fuel. Sorry. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Honestly, that's why I was upset. It is, it's just, it's, I know it's going to get better and better as time goes on. Like the AI technology. Oh, I thought you meant like life.

I was like, no, it's going to get worse. Oh, no, it's going to get worse. Oh, no, it's going to get worse. No, I do feel this way, though, about this. Like, I understand that it is providing a service for people, but I feel the same way about this as I do about, like, mediumship that, like, okay, if it provides you a balm, if it provides a salve for you to feel that you have this connection with an afterlife, that's great. I just know that there are a lot of people out there that are just there to prey upon people that are grieving.

And as somebody that has recently gone through this, like, man, it's really, really easy to take advantage of grieving people. And also of kids. It's easy to take advantage of like desperate parents who are like, I don't know how to help my kid. I guess I'll text the AI chat bot, you know, or like lonely kids who are talking to chat GPT. Then they have boyfriends and girlfriends and they them on the fucking on the chats.

And then it's like, oh, and then I've got my, don't worry. I don't need real people. I'm just talking to my bots. I'm talking to my bots, please. Please don't worry about me, my aunt. We need humans. And, you know, Dr. Becky, you have helped me tremendously. You have given me a lot of tools that have helped me be a better parent.

But you've got to set the AI chatbot on a fire and then throw it in a river. Don't let him be talking to it. You know what you should be putting in front of them. Pillion, it's finally time. I've been trying to talk about this movie on one of these shows, I think for a couple of weeks now. Weeks, weeks. Somebody said, what are they going to talk about Pillion? I thought we had.

We have, oh, MJ, no, we have interpersonally discussed Billion, and I have made you watch the trailer multiple times. Yes. But we have not gotten into the conversation of Alexander Scarsgaard and his kinky fits doing the PR for this fuck. The heck in movie. What is happening here with Alexander Scarsguards? What are you asking? Are you asking him to put more clothes? on because I'm not.

Well, no, I guess what I'm wondering is, um, is, is he like, uh, and I don't say this accusatorily. I'm just like, is he like by baiting us? There, well, there's a word on this. Oh, this has been blinds since the beginning of time that he is. They ain't no bait. They ain't no bait. The reason why I say not accusatorily is because whatever is happening with him, it seems extremely genuine.

And like, when I say whatever's happening with him, I mean the way he is doing the publicity for Pileon. He's really embracing the fucking another guy part of it in a way that I thought that he identifies publicly as straight. And I was, again, not even upset because whatever is happening, I'm pro. But I'm remembering now that there are a lot of rumors about him being by. There are lots of rumors. And so that's why this is, of course, even more so, this is.

exploding the lust of all of us out here. I mean, I have been, of course, attached to this in the back of my brain since the beginning of time, because I just want it to all. I just want the best for Alexander Scars Garden. And, you know, I know that I was bringing up Joe Mangonello earlier, but, I mean, he does play Eric in True Blood. Again, have not watched the show. Only am reading the books. I am in love with Eric.

I do only see him as Alexander Scarsgarde. so in turn I am only in love with Alexander Scarsdard. I'm deeply in love with Alexander Scarsguard. And I, yeah, it's just because I was... Regardless of what he does to Nicole Kidman in Big Little Lies. I know. I know, I know. I know, and I, yeah, I was, because he also, yeah,

there's just something interesting going on here. And obviously, we talk a lot in the, in recent years about how important it is to make sure that queer roles go to queer actors. And then with Alexander Scarskart, I was like, I don't know what your... sexual orientation is, but whatever is happening with you and how you are showing up to this role is working for me. Yeah.

Even if he is a straight guy, there is something about his extreme excitement and embracing of everything about kind of the aesthetics of the role and everything and showing up in these big leather boots and whatnot. But yeah, and like, I don't know, it's just, I'm over here. just kind of mouth agape, looking at all of the pillion stuff, being like, I don't, he's wearing a shirt with dildos on it. He's wearing tight, tight, tight leather pants. He's wearing a shirt with a leather bootstep on someone's face. I'm really enjoying how he is showing up here. I really am Scars Guard pilled. And I'm not just saying that for him. I'm saying it for all the scars guards.

For those of you out there that are unaware of what Pileon is, Pillion, just, just TLDR, Pillion is about Alexander Scarsguard is, gets into a BDSM relationship with the, I should, Jackie, look up his fucking name. Don't just call him Dudley because then it's creepy. Harry Melling, Alexander Scarsguard gets into a relationship with Harry Melling who played Dudley in the HP movies and it did Dudley's all growing up. And Dudley is so having a time with an Alexander's Garzgard. And I am very excited to watch it. Oh, that's who that is. Yeah, bro. That's Dudley.

That's Dudley. Yes. And so I think that this is igniting a lot for a lot of people in many different ways. Yes. This is, there's a lot of discussion that people are saying like it's baby girl levels that it is. It's queer baby girl. You know, it's, and I'm sure it's not. I'm sure that that is how dare they just say, you know, don't simplify it.

I'm sorry to reduce it and compare it to baby girl. But yes, I have also heard that it is queer baby. I'm just repeating what I've heard. It's okay. We haven't seen it yet. So, you know, we can't speak on it. And I don't know, Adam, we're going together because I don't know. Okay, he says we're going together because I saw baby girl with Kara and Jared,

and it was so funny because Kara really is just as sexually frozen as Holden is, but she loved it, though, still absolutely loved it. And Holden is also sexually frozen and loved it. Seeing baby girl with a married couple by yourself, like without your husband, but just with a married couple is very funny. Oh, I was with. I was with my, Jeff was with me too. Oh, yeah, yeah, Jeff was with me too. And no, Karen and I sat next to each other in the middle and we kept being like, oh, no soundtrack during this cum scene, huh?

Okay. Wouldn't it be fun to be the third wheel going to see baby girl? I might be for Pileon. Adam, can I come with you and your wife? He says, yes. All right, I'm going to be there third for Pillion. And it's going to be, it's going to elicit a lot of feelings from me. And I'm sorry to Adam and Sam for having to deal with like my pulsating and my throat.

robbing. And I just also want to say thank you to everybody that wrote in to be like, what about Pileon? Because you knew I need this. I have to have it. And, you know, despite me singing Alexander Scarsgaard's praises, I have also, of course, I'm always open to hearing different perspectives. If you have a different perspective on Pileon, of course, you should let us know. I also want to point out that one of these outfits that Alexander Scarsguard wore is a halter top, like white button up with a black tie and black leather pants. And I just want to point out that that shirt is the exact shirt that I wore to my wedding. And you looked exactly as good. I was like, MJ, you better stop. I think I'm having

a bit of a gender euphoric reaction to seeing Alexander Scarsgar's outfits. That's great. That makes that. See, that makes me even happier. So it's not even just like, Oh, it's lustful for me. I'm so happy that it also inspires you. It's doing something for me. Yeah. Because I described this. I mean, mine was not a halter top, but I was like, can you make like a white button-up

dress shirt but like make it sexy? And I was at the queer tailor. And they did it. And at first I was like, is this crazy that I want a white button-up shirt but like sexy? And again, the queer tailor was like, I got you. And they just sketched it out and they made it happen. And so I just am saying I want to be wearing the same outfits as Alexander Scarsgarde on the Pillion press tour. Yes. And all of them.

Also just to have like I do and sure, I'm sure it's all PR, right? But I tell you, Alex, you're killing the PR for this because it really feels like he's, I mean, really letting himself shine. Even in the article that I had sent you, MJ, there was a clip of he was promoting. voting his Apple series Murder Bot and he was on and he was at an interview and he said I wanted to be sexy today. I thought there's nothing sexier

than a middle-aged man in a British school boy uniform and he stands up and he does this little like francy pose like it I and he's just he's like you watch the Northman

and then you watch this and I'm just like the multitudes that's yeah that's the thing the Scarsguards just have this like they just They're just so compelling. And this is totally unrelated, but Jackie, you turned me on to just Google and searching Alexander Scarsgaard and Jack McBriar's friendship.

And there's just hundreds of pictures of them having fun together, going to the gym together. Everybody says. Do it mom poses together. That's the thing. Everyone says like, are they fucking or are they best friends? And I love that they are just, they don't give a shit what you think about them. I just, they're having a good time.

Yeah. It's just such a sweet friendship. Again, the way that he, I don't know what's going on with Alexander Scarsigar, but I want to know more. That's how I feel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm definitely going to be watching. Maybe, or maybe I'm not going with Adam and Sam. And maybe I just go see Pileon like in the middle of the day by myself.

And then go home to your husband. Because you got to know. He's going to know. You got to know what kind of friends you want to like be horny beside, you know, to see a movie like that. I mean, or I'm going to end up love lies bleeding. And then I'm just going to be sitting there and you're going to. And I'd be like, where did, Jackie never came home today? I was just covered in fireball.

I was like, I had to, baby. I had to. Sorry, there's also this other picture. Oh, my God. We've talked about, are they called socks stays? I know they're called shirt stays. But what do you call them when, are they just socks suspenders? What the hell are you talking about?

Talking about the little things that the old school men, that when you would see them from the pants. So what am I specifically, they, Ren and Stimpy? I'm specifically. thinking of Ren and Stimpy whenever you would see the father character and you would see his hairy legs with the little like suspendies that hold up the socks atop them

and there's an there's a picture of Alexander Scarsguard at the I guess in 2016 this has been we have really been sleeping on the fits of Alexander Scarsguard because in 2016 at the MTV Movie Awards I'm saying that so you can look it up

he uh he rocked this suit and top up top and then a cup, like a cup, and then the sock stays with the, that's what I'm talking to. Like the like, oh, I just took my pants off. I just got home from this like occasion. Why don't you suck my cock? You know what I mean?

Wow. Yeah. Why haven't we been talking about this for 10 years, MJ? Great question. He's been being really interesting in public for 10 years and I'm just getting turned into it now. I do remember. all the stuff with Infinity Pool. Now I'm being remembered because Infinity Pool, you know, this isn't new for Alexander Scars Garden. None of this is new. Infinity Pool is also like kinky BDSM.

And one, maybe not specifically BDSM, but like definitely is in the kink world as well. And I was very shocked about that. But he did a bunch of press for infinity pool also like supporting, you know, kink wear at least. I don't know if he's wearing a foundation. I don't know if he's working with foundations or anything, but man, I tell you what, Northman's out here fucking doing this.

I am North here for it. Give us all your Alexander Scarsguard lore, you guys, if you know all of it. Any of it. Any of it. Sound up. I don't want to hear anything negative about him.

Don't tell him be anything negative. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. Please. Don't break our, don't burst our bubble right now. I can't. I need the bubble. I'm just like, Glinda.

I need the bubble and you put me the bubble and I'm magic. And then I'm magic and then everything's fine. Or maybe sometimes you just have to put, you know, a mask over your face to help you feel better when you go to an event. And I'm not talking about trying to make sure that the germs don't get in your mouth. I'm talking about Kim Kardashian. Now, last week, we were discussing the pussy hair on. underwear. I guess it's underwear. It's the busier. And now she went out and is all, you know, it's again, it's another PR thing, but Kim Kardashian had a full face mask on. And not that I would

ever say that it's given yay, but like I feel like it is a little in the world of that a little bit. Yeah. I like, I was trying to summon another opinion that I might be able to feel about. Kim Kardashian. I like that it's creepy. It is. Yeah. I do like that it's given creepy. But what upsets me the most, okay, if you look up, if you just look up Kim Kardashian

face mask or whatever, she's in this outfit, the mask is from Mesa Madia's Autisanal 2025 collection, all right? So this is like people are putting, you know, fabric bags on their head. She did not design this. But underneath it, she was wearing this dress that I know that she's like, she's definitely been on all the lists of like, doesn't mind hurting herself for the beauty. But this corset hits her in a way that I was just like, like, it looks like it goes, like, rather than Framunda cheese, it's Framanda ribs.

It looks like the corset is shoved in and underneath her ribs and is popping out the actual ribs underneath. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I'm so, I'm in pain looking at it. I'm not even looking at the face thing. I'm like, but this dress. I think the opinion I was trying to summon is like, is it possible that she's doing interesting things?

Of course she's trying. I guess, but it doesn't feel interesting to me because it just feels like it's all in the, it just feels like it's all to sell shit. Like, and, you know. Of course. But also, what annoyed me the most, and I imagine would probably annoy, I don't know, maybe, the makeup artist, is that she had flown in her favorite makeup artist to. to do her makeup for this event. And then she put a fucking fabric bag on her head. Yeah, I know everyone was joking.

I'd be pretty upset. Maybe she forgot her makeup. And then it's like, oh, no, she had a full face on under the thing. She flew in somebody to do it. Yeah. No, I just, I, um, I am, I am annoyed by her. I am not intrigued by her. No.

And I, I, she's like such a relentless, constant fucking presence in pop culture that I just, um, you know, she was just on color. daddy. So all these stories about her. And I'm just like, I just don't care about you. And I would like less of you. Yeah. And I mean, we do know that she doesn't know how much, you know, milk costs. And that is part of what we learned and call her daddy. And I feel like that is, I'm like, yeah. It's one banana, Michael. How much could it cost? $10? $10? In real life, that happened. Exactly. It's very arrested development. And I do feel like sometimes I look at their family and I'm just like, is all of it a written bit? I don't know. Maybe we're never going to find out.

Yeah. But yes, she was on Caller Daddy, and that's why everybody is talking about her currently. And also, like, Skims is trying to do the big splash. I'm sure that they are trying to get everybody thinking about them because the holidays are coming up. So you're going to, of course, the first thing you're going to want to buy, you know, I got to get skims for everybody. You think that Henry's not getting a bunch of skims for Christmas this year? You know who I am intrigued by? Who?

Elizabeth Olson. Oh, because she doesn't want to be like her sister. She doesn't want to be like she's not like her sister. She's not like her sisters. She's not like the other sisters. I find her fascinating. There was an in style, a big, like long, in style profile of her that just came out. And it's, I love her.

I love her work. I love her in Wanda Vision. But one of the standout quotes from it was about how when she was a kid. And she was kind of like she was, she did end up doing some work as a kid, but she has this quote about kind of deciding not to follow in her sister's paths at that young of an age. And she said, I wanted to have the career I have now, but I didn't need to do it until later. I wanted to do recess with my friends. And I just find her such a fascinating, because obviously the Olson twins, you know, captivated

the public imagination. Oh, yeah. Way is good and bad for so many years and then have like so heavy. withdrawn from the spotlight and had such a rough go of it as child stars. And then she had this like opposite arc where she kind of like lay low, lay low. And then now just makes like only like just makes really good cool shit. Yeah. And it's just a really cool actress. Yeah. And how interesting to just be in the same family and be like, what if we just had completely opposite life arcs? But as I, we've been thinking so much about, um, child stars and child acting with all the memoirs we've been

reading. And that quote really stood out to me of her just being like, I wanted to have recess with my friends. And it's like, wow, so Elizabeth Olson just got to have like a normal life and a normal childhood-ish. And then got to have an amazing career. And isn't that what we should strive for? It is what we should strive for and lift her up and say, good for you, bitch. Yeah, choose weird shit. And also, I imagine you had a lot of trauma with having your sisters being two of the biggest celebrities, especially while you're growing up. Yeah. I mean, I I mean, as siblings, you're already comparing yourself to each other at all time. And then, oh, I can't even, I can't, I'm happy for her.

She says it's seemingly well adjusted as she is. She does seem to be well adjusted. Yes. Like, how could you be in that family and be well-adjusted? I don't know. How can you be their sister and be well-john-I just find her fascinating, right? And I do also, I'm going to say, speaking of fascinating, we are currently reading the Elvira memoir for celebrities next week.

And I just want to say, very happy to be taking a little break from child actors. I just, I don't want to read any more child actor for a while. Yeah, this is a full grown. She's full grown, you know. Yes, yes, she is an adult. She gets her big break when she is 30. And we love that for her. And we love that for her.

But also check out celebrities next week over on the page 7 Patreon because I'm very excited to talk about that. Now, I do want to do a little bit of talking TV before we head into the world of dancing with the stars. I've got a hot take. And I'm okay with people saying, Jackie, you're wrong, and that's okay. And sometimes you watch a movie that everybody likes and you don't like it. And that's okay. And you're allowed to say those things. Because I went to go see Black Phone 2.

And I saw Black Phone 1 and I liked it. I really like Ethan Hawk. I think that the grabber, the idea of the grabber, very scary. The mask's very scary. I, outside, whoa, I don't want to give that away. Outside of another movie, there are very few, a couple movies. There are very few. And this is not giving anything away about Blackphone, too, because I think this is all what the trailer is.

They essentially turn him into Freddie Kruger. if they took all of the funny out of Freddie Kruger and like all like the fun zest of the character of Freddie Krueger and took that out of it and put in ghost kids instead. And I, I think for me, it takes a lot for me to love a ghost movie. I think it's, for me, it's fairly hot or cold. I either love it or I don't. Okay. And they're just, I just can't give a shit about ghost kids.

I'm sorry, I don't want the kids. Obviously, I don't want anything to happen to the kids. It's just like, and then you're not flying me. Like, I just, I. You don't like the ghost kid. Loses me. Now, forgive me because I haven't seen any of these movies and I haven't even seen the trailers, but wasn't the one that you just like where the kids all run out into the street and their running.

Yes. Isn't that? Aren't all these movies lately? having creepy kids in them, you know? Creepy kids are different than ghost kids. Really? Yes. You enjoy a creepy kid, you don't enjoy a ghost kid. Yes, because I find inherently I find children scary in many, many, many ways.

In the ways of which I can traumatize them, in the ways in which I can fuck them up, as well as, you know, I don't want a ghost kid in my house. There's a ghost in my house. There's a ghost in my house. And I guess I have to like find its body or whatever. I don't know. I just want the ghost to leave me alone. And I love either. I'm just like, give me more grabber.

Interesting. If you're going to, or if you're going to Freddie Kruegerize him, Freddie Kruegerize him. Okay. Then really go after it. I know, I guess I appreciate that it's like, we're trying to do a different. But then you didn't make a choice instead. You know what I think is that, uh, are you afraid of the dark, the Nickelodeon snick show, did a lot of really good ghost kid episodes.

And they did great ghost kid episodes. Yeah. So I like, I like, I like, you're right. like a ghost kid because of Are You Afraid of the Dark? But you did not like the ghost kids in Black Phone, too. Maybe my caliber for Ghost Kids is just different because everybody is enjoying Black Phone too. And I genuinely afterwards, I didn't hate it. Uh-huh.

It definitely could have had 35 minutes shaved off of it. Okay. But afterwards, I just really, I was kind of shocked in reading all of the reviews of it that everybody was. And again, it's not that it's the worst movie. It's just that it's spooky season. If I'm going to be watching spooky movies, I don't want to get scared. Totally.

That's why I'm watching movies like them. Okay, two movies that I want to mention. For spooky season, we watched Shadow of the Vampire, which was really fun. Have you seen Shadow of Vampire? Yeah. With Willem to Phil. It's so cool. Did you like it?

I loved it. I absolutely loved it. If you are a old, I don't even have a strong relationship with the old Nassaviratu, but I love old movies. I just love movies from the 1920s. So I, it is like about what if during the making. Well, it is made in the year 2000. But it is, yes.

It's about, like, what if they were making the Nassiratu? And it was a little too real. And it, the guy is John Malkovich and Willem Defoe? I mean, I want to do. And Carrie Alwis is there. Yes. It was so good and fun. But I was going to also say, speaking of movies that everybody is talking about, I watched the movie on Netflix, the true crime documentary that everyone is currently talking about on Netflix, which is called the perfect neighbor.

All right. We need to discuss. So I appreciate, you know what, MJ, I want to say thank you. You took the hit on this one. I know everybody is talking about this right now. But again, I am not quite in the place to be watching stuff like that. I mean, last night I watched Spaceball. You should absolutely.

That's where my brain is currently. Okay. So here's my quick thoughts on Perfect Neighbor. It was so, so some, the overview is, it is all almost exclusively, um, a body cam footage. It is like a 140 minute, hour 40 minute movie, but it's all police body cam footage and like some interrogation room footage. But it's like all, you know, we wouldn't, what we call that found footage? But it's just, it's like, it is body camp footage, which is interesting. I just, man, these headlines, what happens at the end of the perfect neighbor should be a warning.

It is, it is, I will say that I found this, this was one of the hardest documentaries I have watched in a very long time. It is about. Of course that intrigues me. I do love to be upset, though. It is extremely upsetting, Jackie. What level, what kind of upset? Like, can you give me a genre of upsetting? A racist white woman killed.

a young black mother because she's a fucking monster person and it's like so she's calling like and I was you know how like when a true crime I'm guilty of this true too crew crime stuff comes up and it's like oh fun everyone's watching this you know

like and usually obviously true crime not fun usually sad like a no number a no number I mean great yeah I mean that was really upsetting but it was like oh okay let's talk about it's kind of fun yeah this not not kind of fun and it's like I thought it would be I don't know I don't know what I was expecting People calling like the Karen killer

Because she was like, it's like this neighbor Was like a real Karen And she was constantly calling the police On these kids who were playing in the neighborhood Oh my God, I'm just reading through the things That she was doing to her beforehand She was a Karen. It's like Karen's gone wrong

Which does sound kind of like a fun premise But it is it is horrifically upsetting. I think it's a well-made movie. Like honestly, I was so upset during it that I was like, I mean, I think using the users in Florida. It is extremely Florida. But these kids

just likes to play outside. It's like exactly what everybody wants kids to do is what these kids were doing. We were playing outside all the time, playing together. There's like there's whole fucking books about how to get your kids to go play outside now. You know, Jonathan Haidt is over here trying to ban cell phones so the kids will play outside again. And these kids just loved to play outside

in their neighborhood. They all played together and they all ran around in this open field next to this Karen's house. And she was just a racist piece of shit. And she hated. the kids and she would call the police on them all the time and um and it tells the story of of this murder and it's again it's all done through the the body worn cameras um and so it is very impactful because you see it all happening like from the like as the police show up to the crime scene it is very impactful. I'm seeing the picture now I'm remember this it's it is

devastating I couldn't I had to fast forward through a huge part of it with the commitment what these poor kids, these poor, the poor kids of the woman who was killed. It is devastating. I'm just glad we're talking about this before dancing ago to start because I feel like, we don't have, and we don't, I just wanted to put out there that I did watch it if other people want to talk about it. Obviously, sound off in the Patreon, like, love to, or comments or whatever. I'd love to hear what other people think. Again, I was just, I was like, you know, sometimes you watch a movie and you're just like, you know, like, like, like, cowering, like, while you watch it. It was absolutely devastating. I am curious whether the kind of body

worn, now that body worn cameras by police are more common, I wonder if that's going to become more of a more prevalent. And obviously it's not the first time that that footage has been used in a documentary, but it's almost exclusively that. It's just an interesting way to tell the story. But yeah, I mean, it's just, it's just, it's, I do feel like it's kind of weird. All the headlines are like, oh, the Karen killer. And it's like, this was just a racist, it was just a racist murder. Yeah. She's just a bitch. Karen is like a fun way to describe her until she is fucking just a racist murderer. She's a

murderer. She's a racist murderer. And so I was just I was like, yeah, so that's, I was like, this is, um, this like Netflix like move true crime movie of the week thing is like, uh, this is not one of the fun ones. It's very, very, very devastating. And of course, um, you know, justice, uh, you know, stand your ground laws in Florida, uh, tend to protect white people. That is what I will say. Um,

and tend to incentivize. and I'm sorry, do you see most of the laws of Florida racist murders. So yeah, it is, if you want to watch it, if you like true crime,

it is, I think, a well-made movie, but it is absolutely devastating. So that's that. But it was well done. I think it was well done. I thought, again,

I thought that the way that they put it together was really interesting. And they really take their time. Like, like, they spend 30 minutes just like at the crime scene like right afterwards.

It's like, It's you're really, you really feel like you are there as this horrible aftermath of this horrible crime is unplaying, which again, I had to, I couldn't deal with it. Um, because it was just too, too devastating. But I think that it was, I if you're a film person and you're good at talking about film in a way that I'm definitely not, I would like to hear your thoughts. I'm bringing it up because I do want to hear what other people think about it. Um, but it is very, one of very, very upsetting. Um, and I do think that just like calling her a Karen doesn't really, do justice to the fact that this was just like a racist, race-motivated murder of a mother of four. And you just want to give that the gravity. Just put on spaceballs. Now let's talk about who is fucking who and dancing with the stars. Thank you.

Don't worry, guys. You were worried. They're like, are they going to forget? We never would. But this is where, yes, if you are angered by us discussing dance-dancing with the stars, this would be the time to leave the episode. And that's all right.

I do want to out the gate say, I'm going to give it to Francisco. You're right. You were right. I was a little harsh on Topanga last week. And you were right that Elaine also did a parent trap themed dance and we

didn't rip apart Elaine. But you know what it is? Elaine doesn't have a podcast about, like with her and Chessie about the parent track. And I think that's how I feel about it too. And I think that's where I saw it a little differently. And Elaine is like, I was very moved by Elaine doing it with her friend because it's like older, it's like I'm an older woman.

I don't know whether she has kids or not, but like she's like, I'm an older woman and like this is my best friend and she's like one of the most important people in my life. And I thought that that was very, it didn't seem like, remember the parent trap to me? Whereas Topanga's performance felt very, remember Boy Meets World to be. But that was last week. And also I appreciate, for instance, Disco also said, and Topanga was, and Danielle Fischel, Daniel Fischel was doing the jive, which is a jumpy. Like there was no moment for her to have, like a touching moment.

Like it is that, like the way that she was dancing, that's what that dance is. So I guess it's not that I disliked her dance. I don't think I jive with jive, maybe. I like the jive. I stand by everything that we said last week. I love this for you. I won't apologize. I'll apologize about a lot of.

things, but not about my frustration. I will not apologize about dancing with the stars. I'm not about my frustration with Topanga's dance last week. But I will give it up for Danielle Fissel, not Topanga, this week, because she took the note. She took the note and she challenged herself. And they were like... That bitch took that. No. And she was like, I need to not be Topanga this week. And that's, you know, you know the reason we're calling her to Panga? It's because she is... She's been to Banga. And now... Now she's Danielle Fischel. Now she's Daniel Fisch. This week... Now, now she's Daniel Fisial. And, and she's... she did she did great. I think everybody did great this week. This is, it's hard to see anybody

go home at this point because everybody is doing great. Goodbye pentatonic guy. Sorry. You're fine with it being pentatonic. I, you know what? I was because the only other two people it could have been were Andy Richter and everybody loves him way too much. He's just going to keep coming back. He's the heart of the show. I mean, now what are you going to do without the heart of the show? Every week you could see it on his face. Andy Richter is like, I finally get to go home. And And then every week they keep him. And he does the fake like, wow, I get to keep going. He is like, I know he's having fun.

I think he is having fun. But I think he's shocked every week. But I think people just love him so much that they are going to really make sure he does not go home. But then the only other person who could go home who is consistently getting like, you know, kind of criticism every week is Jen Affleck. And you know what? I know that other people can't give us confidence. I know it has to come from within. but I need some external force to come in and give Jen Affleck confidence.

This poor woman, she starts off her segment by being like, am I the worst dancer ever? And like, I don't think she's playing. I don't think she's doing that. Like, she, look at when you. Well, she talks about all the postpartum depression. She's like actively dealing with. Actively struggling.

And I, like, I don't know. You know, like how I say when you just look at Hilaria and, like, the eyes and you just know, I know you're not supposed to prejudge people like this, but I'm talking about reading a person based on what you know about them. Talking about the windows of the soul. You look at hilarious and you're like, ooh, you are dangerous. Nothing in there. You are.

You are, nothing in there except thinking about yourself. But you look at Jen Affleck and you're just like, oh my God, you don't love yourself. You don't believe in yourself. You have been told by other people. Oh God, her stupid fucking husband who's just in the audience. He can't even for a second. Put a smile on your face. Can't you show that you're supportive?

I bet he's, I bet he's the kind of husband that's like complaining all week because he's got to be around the kids while you're out dancing. Don't worry, I'll take care of the kid. And again, we know this because you know on the show. He doesn't support her. He feels upstaged by her. He's so insecure. And she just, she's, oh, am I the worst dancer ever? And I just want, I know, again, I know that like we can't give it to her.

she has to find the strength within herself. She's to find you for herself. Jen Affleck, you are amazing and I want you to love yourself. Yes, you're part of a really mean group of people whose job is to be mean. But I believe in you. I believe in you too. I need you to have your breakthrough moment next week, okay, girl? But also go off because they did choose as long as your mind, which is one of my favorite

wicked songs. Am I going to say that about almost every single one of the songs? Yes. It is one of my favorites, though. And it always, oh, go, oh, just thinking about it. I'm going to be very, what if the second movie is even worse than the first one? Did you hate the first one?

I thought you enjoyed it. No, I liked the first one, but then everybody made fun of me because I liked it. And they called me Simple Jack. They didn't. They may as well have, though, because I liked it. And it's just because I like Wicked. And everyone's like, you're an idiot.

You're blind. You're such a fucking idiot. I'm like, I'm sorry. I liked it. Yeah, I wish I had a better film criticism hat to put on. I'm just like, ooh, this was fun. I don't have any more, anything more to say about it than that.

No, I'm like dancing. I like the music. Yay. Yeah. Even like I thought my mom was going to feel that way, but it is funny. Every time I about my mom and I talk about Wicked a lot because it's our, like,

it's like one of our things, you know, and she just hates Ariana Grande as Glinda so much. I love hearing her go off about it. Oh man. She's got they, but she'll never, she'll never make fun of,

she's a beautiful singer. And she'll, always is she's a beautiful singer. She's no Kristen Jenowitz. And I said, well, it's just good because Kristen Genoweth is with the typey, typey, and I wish she would do a little lessee, lessee as they get older, I tell you. I don't want to know what happens inside of your brain, but I do want to know what is happening. Now, Whitney. Oh my God, Whitney, man. Whitney from Secret Lives and Mormon Wives, not the other Whitney, who's the professional dancer, Whitney? Very confusing. Yeah. Very confusing. But this Whitney, you know what? I dare to. I dare to. I dare to. I dare to

say one of the few that I will say, most favorite probably song, popular, that I thought it was like, oh, what is she going to do with popular?

Okay, let's see how this goes. The run, happy running dance. And it was great. It was so good. The way the, but she looked like a phone. Oh, Mr. Domness,

how you take it to the stage? I saw her hoove about. Yes. I loved it. Call me a judge. That is what the quick step is supposed. to look like, wow. Am I brutal?

Am I damn it? I love. That was a quick step. I need to look a quick step. Sorry, he's adding a little more a laria on there, I guess. Whitney is killing it. It was very cute, even though I am annoyed by your husband. I thought it was very cute that he showed up dressed, that he was painted green.

I thought that was a fun little extra effort from him that I appreciated. I know, I know. She's such, and listen, I'm not saying Whitney's a good person. I think she's not. I think that's why it was, it was the popular was the perfect song for her. Like being kind of bitchy. You know. Right.

Like, and also talk about just like the Louvre, which I did watch quite a YouTube video yesterday about how they did that robbery at the Louvre. And it's kind of crazy. Um, Robert Irwin was robbed. Robert Irwin was robbed. He did not get. Absolutely robbed. And also the Louvre, that robbery is crazy. Middle of the day.

Middle of the fucking day. They just literally brought in a ladder. Have you heard about this? No, man. I'm so far up my own ass. I don't even know what's going on in the news, much less in the Louvre. They brought a ladder in. They brought a ladder in outside of the Louvre.

And they went up. They were wearing like workmen's uniforms. They cut a huge hole in a window climbing. It's open. There's people inside. They go up to the crown jewels. They cut open the crown jewels section, multiple sections, and they had like had these like sand grinders held up to the security offers.

They'd in and out seven minutes. And they're never going to find them. They're probably never going to find them. They're never going to find them because especially with crown jewels, they can break that shit apart so fast and start. And we're talking like thousands. and thousands of diamonds. Like, actual, like, it's crazy what they were able to do.

Honestly, I'm impressed. I shouldn't be. But also, it's like, yeah, fucking take the crown jewels. Gives a fucking shit. Yeah, that's the other thing. I'm like, I'll get around to, I don't, yeah, I'm like, okay, well, it sounds like it was fun. I'm glad that the, I'm glad it was a fun heist.

But, yes, Robert Irwin. But Robert Irwin was also. She got robbed. So we should say, first tens of the season came out this episode. First tens of the season. And not for Robert. They went to Whitney for she got as Mormon wives, and they went to Jordan Childs. And I had to watch her dance twice because I think I don't like the rumba, the rumba.

But I did like her dance. And it was to do for good, which is a great song. Stunning. She did great. Jordan Chiles. Because really the whole, like I was watching watch her and I'm like, man, who is going to get cut? Like, who's going to get cut today? Because everybody's really killing it.

And I was like, I hope it's not Jordan Charles. I know that she's last. And then. Yeah. Like, I feel like she also was given the Danielle Fischel treatment of just like this bit. I mean, she's been killing it every week, but she showed. Totally. And I really get lost in the whole, and I don't know if this is just because I am a not very strong, chubby person watching it.

Of just every time their legs are separated and they're like all the way down and then they slide their leg all the way up and push their whole body up, that alone I can't do. Every week what I watch, I think about, I have a little, I give myself the little treat of imagining what if I got the opportunity to learn a dance. And I'm like, I straight up don't think I could do any of this. Like not even, I couldn't do Andy Richter's first dance. I don't, I mean, maybe I could. I like to believe that I could. But the strength that it takes is amazing. Amazing. And what's cool about Jordan Childs is like, it's cool to see, like, she obviously knows how to move her body as a gymnast. And she knows how to do it with rhythm because she's done, you know, that cool floor routine. and stuff. But it's been cool to see, like it was cool to see how when she started, it's like, oh, I can see that you're a gymnast, but like this is a slightly different skill.

And you have the, like, you have what it takes, but like you have to kind of tap into this different part of yourself. And then the rumba, which, because Zach Efron, or Dylan Ephron also did a rumba this week. And he was like, he's a little bit sexually frozen. He was like, I don't, I'm not romantic. I don't, like, I'm not sultry. I'm not.

Did you see those? And then I was like, okay, the rumba is all about moving, in your hips. Sexuality of it. And so it was a cool challenge for Dylan Ephron and it was a cool challenge for Jordan Childs

to be like, I've got to like bring the soul not just the movement. Yes. And honestly, I thought it was so beautiful in Dylan Efron's

because especially they were dancing to I'm not that girl and I was talking about earlier the other song that also gets me every time about deeper as long as your mind.

And I'm not that girl also. I have cried to that song. so many hundreds of times of being the friend that the one's not in love with and you watch them fall in love with someone else and I'm not that girl and Dylan and then they're dancing this like sexy song I thought that also robbed eights I thought they didn't admit to be able to like that like especially with what that song is saying and in Daniela which also thank you everybody. daddy. Daniela and Dylan are most likely not fucking because apparently Daniela is married to one of the other professional businesses, but I appreciate you looking out. I'll bring up my chart. I'll bring up my chart. Danielle is married to Pasha, who is Topanga's partner, I believe. Yes, yes. And also thank you to the people that have told me that apparently Dylan Efron is still with his high school sweetheart. So also hopefully that they are not banging each other. I'm just saying in all, in all, of this in my brain, it's all consensual. And everyone's fine with it happening. And everyone's like, of course, it's the Rumba. You must. You must have the passion. So yeah, you gotta fuck it out

first. Here's the thing about us talking about Dancing with the Stars on page seven every week. That we know nothing. No. The listener engagement that we have been getting is the most positive experience I think I've ever had because people know so much about this show. People are telling me fun facts about Bill and Dillon Ephron. Somebody sent us a poem that Dillon Eiffron wrote when he was a kid about his brother being famous that's like so funny and good. It's so cute. Also, somebody told us that Alex Earle's mom was the one

who Elliot Spitzer had the affair with that brought down Elliot Spitzer. There's so many fun facts. The fun facts are destroying me every week. And then they're all, yeah, they're all married. Like all the pros are married to each other. There's just so much fun facts. Yes.

And I do love, you know, Sherpa Cass. I do love talking to Cass every week about dancing with the stars. And we were making jokes that I was like, I feel like Jen is going to keep getting brought back every week because something that I feel like, Hilaria, if you want to talk about sabotage, right? And it's like, yes, you've got the seven children and you can force all seven of the children to vote for you. But now any children that have phones, they can all vote in the voting process. And in the world of the Mormons, there's a lot of them. And I bet they're all voting for the two of them.

So hopefully that means that Jen is going to get more of an opportunity in the long run that people will vote for her. I just hope she has that breakthrough moment. I know. She needs her moment. But also who had their moment? Bitch go off Elaine. Elaine did have her moment.

She had her breakthrough. She had her breakthrough. Define gravity, bitch. Oh, my God. With the whole, like, interstitial beforehand where she was like, I am injured. This is very difficult. And I really am trying to give my all. And then she went out there.

And Define Gravity's got to be one of the hardest songs to be given. And oh, baby, did she do it? Oh, my God. I was so happy for her. I cried. I know. I actually cried again. I loved her dance now.

just to be a little bit of a piss pot about it. What are you going to piss all over my pot? You bastard. I loved her dance. I loved the trust fall. It was absolutely beautiful. That truck. Oh my God.

That fall. It was so cool. And I was so rude. Especially for defying gravity. And she's 54, which obviously, to me, is very young, but in Hollywood is like ancient. And so it's like, everyone's like, look at this old lady and her broken foot. And she's hobbling to the, to the brus. Like, oh, dusting herself off.

And so, yeah, there's this real narrative about like, you look at you. You're still alive. And but she did, she just fucking killed it. My only Pispot thing was that I, like, the, the thing where she like, uh, stood up on the big thing with the big alpha, the big cape and the waving thing and everything. Yeah. If you dare to find me, look to the Western sky. Yeah.

What do you? I mean, this is the point. That's the point of it. She's supposed to be up there. I know. I just could have used more dancing through that part. I, that wasn't a, that wasn't a, that wasn't dancing. wanted more. That's all I'm saying. More dancing. I wanted more, even more dancing because it was

such a good dance. But no, she had her moment and I'm happy for her. What I really want from every star is for them to have an experience where they find like an inner joy in dancing that brings them confidence. Seeing Elaine's reaction afterwards when she's like screamed like, I'm 54 and I'm injured and I never thought I would have been able to do this and I can't believe I'm here right now. And just, you know that when you really think you can't do something and then you stick it it's just one of those every time that I feel like

I'm always trying new things and I feel like I'm always nervous about something I'm always and it's like that's what life is supposed to be though sometimes you have to stretch close your eyes and leap it's time to try defy you dragity

I will And there was an article that, well, there's like leaked goss. What are you leaking? You're pissing on my pot. You're leaking all over my goss. I'm leaking piss that that some of the dancers, the pros, are upset because apparently a bunch of the older pros like Jenna and Brett and Brandon were, oh my God, no. We're paired with quote unquote older contestants.

Sabotage. And that is, it is sabotaged to be paired with an old person. Like the guy from the NBA and Jenna Johnson was paired with Corey Feldman. And I do feel, I was wondering, like if you're a star and you're paired with Corey Feldman, are you pissed off? Of course, because you know, you're not going to be on it for very long. But then I imagine maybe do they put them into the troop dancers? I don't know. I don't know.

Are you going to ever? It's too early for us. okay but at some point we're gonna go to the dancing with the stars tour

right like we're gonna have to do this right now we're dancing with the stars heads right I think that this is us now

I told Gideon that we're going but it would be more fun to go with you because he doesn't care and he can't he can't even bring himself to not look at his phone

I have tried Jeff can't cannot handle it for a moment it is such the antithesis of anything he enjoys and I was like

all they do You hate joy. You hate freedom of expression. I'm like, how could you not? But this is how Gideon feels about me not caring about his things. He's like, superhero stuff is so fun or whatever. And I do enjoy the superhero stuff when I watch it. But he's like, to him, he like doesn't, it doesn't compute how I don't get excited about his things.

And to me, I'm like, what's not to like? There's dancing. There is choreo. Yeah, I'm crying half the time. Yeah, there's a new theme every week. You feel inspired to. I feel so inspired. Yes.

Yes. We got to get out of here. The show is going way too long. We've been talking about it for way too long. And this is going to happen almost every single episode. I don't know. But it's already almost over. So don't worry.

This isn't going to be forever. It's going to go by quickly. I'm sorry, guys, that we're not watching Love is Blind. I just can't do it twice a year. I need to do it once a year. I tried. It's too much. I started.

I also started. I watched the first two episodes. And I was like, oh, come back to this. Yeah, I will come back to it. You know, I love. like, but I just, I can only get into that world. It's too, I don't want them to do it twice a year. So if you got thoughts on that, of course, we love to hear him. Sound off. And if you think that this is, because no one also, I will say, no one has told me to watch it yet. No one has said, are you

watching it? I know that there are scandals that are coming from it. But again, is this just more of the TLC scandals? Because literally, if you could just do one background check, if you could just check out these people for a fucking second, that would be great. Maybe it could really help a lot of people, but they won't because then everybody talks about it. And that is starting to get in the way to. Yeah, I can't deal with just like watching everyone's life get to, all these women's egos get destroyed by these terrible men. And also some of the women are terrible. Anyway, so that's, I know that that is happening right now, but we're not, we're, we're, we're dancing with the stars, okay? We're dancing with the stars. We're too busy. We're too busy dancing with the stars.

Yes, we are. And oh my God, I'm so busy having a blast with you that we really do have to end this episode. Thank you so much, MJ, and thank you everybody. And if you made it this far, I hope that you're a dance head as well as we are. What do we call ourselves? Do we like is, what is the fan base? There's 34 seasons. I'm sure the fan base is called something. Tell us, again, the, the listener feedback we have gotten about Dancing with the Stars has been some of the most fun feedback we have ever gotten. Please keep all of your trivia coming. And anything else you want to talk about, talking TV stuff. You know, we love to hear. it. Sound off for the comments. We love you guys. Jackie, I love you. I love you too, MJ.

And guys, have a great week. And next week, I imagine we'll talk about Halloween, I guess. It's going to be Halloween night. I don't know if you know this, but it's the third week of October already. I know. I don't know when it happened, and I don't know what's going on anymore, but guys, we're getting through it together. We love you and we'll be back next week. And make sure you check out our page seven Patreon, because again, Joe Mangano is showing up. And Elvira. And Jackie's book club and Elvira. We've got it. It's pot. And Buffy. I mean, just, this is just, we're just losing our minds for Buffy. So come hang out with us. And also next week, October 29th guys, Vampire the Muscarid. If you were ever wondering if LPN should or could do vampire improv,

come check it out next week on the LPN YouTube. And be nice in the comments. It's my first. time playing this game. All right. Shall we sing the song? Let's sing the song. It'll be better. Second time around. Yeah.

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