Page 7 - Second Helpings - Melting and Weeping

Episode Date: November 21, 2025

Jackie and MJ are back again for another Second Helpings, and comin' out the GATE with DWTS because MJ's changed their stance on Dylan Efron (because he's beautiful and doesn't know it). Then we're talkin' turkey, because Jackie realized she didn't need to CANCEL thanksgiving just cause big bro and Eddie wouldn't be in town, just scale it down, and then we're talkin ADVENT CALENDARS including the Universal YUMS Calendar Jackie got for herself! Jackie eats possibly spoiled Wicked Cream on air, because she didn't know it was sent from someone until 4 days after it arrived. The Wicked promo tour continues on, full of collabs and very awkward interviews with Cynthia and Ariana, Jackie and MJ talk about just how much Mormon Reality TV they have consumed lately, including the newest season of Secret Lives, and it was Prince night on DWTS, with an appearance by MR FANTASY HIMSELF! DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE 5:30AM THANKSGIVINGS DAY PARADE STREAM ON TWITCH NEXT THURSDAY, plus even more on this week's Second Helpings! Micro Jackie's Snackies at 32:47 or so!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Pod'll be better The second time around You're damn right it is Oh my God, it's just like Oh, it's like the meal The day after the Thanksgiving meal It is a little bit better It all sits

It all gets a little bit greasier It all gets a little bit more flavorful And yeah, just like me And M.J. We're sitting. We're stewing in our juices. And you can't stop us from brazing ourselves. It's true. Our holiday of second helpings is a ponsed us. And not to jump right into celebrity news, but did you see the breaking news that Dylan Efron's favorite part of Thanksgiving? The leftovers. Oh my God. He's just like us. He's just like us. What? Although I did almost get into a fight with my husband because I was trying to

explain how I have come around to finding Dylan Ephron hot. And I was like, he just seems like, do tell. Yes, I, I, but I'm trying to reckon with it because it's such a weird feeling because for the lot of this time, MJ, let's get into it. Let's talk about what, because I will, I understand because I from week to week, it really depends. And from the start of the dance of him in the turtleneck to the end of the dance with him and the turtleneck, I just kept thinking about how they kept talking about like,

his butt's so big that it pops out, his butt so big that pops out. So of course I just kept staring his ass. So I wasn't really pain. I wasn't paying to it. And then I was like, that's on you. That's your problem program that you did this to me. And I had to go back and watch it again. He's also got like a very, like his head is shaped like Bart Simpson.

And I know we try not to comment on people's bodies. But like I just, I find it striking. He's just so hot so you feel like it's fine that you can say it. I think it's not okay because, again, I think that Dylan Ephron has a lot of not being Zach Ephron issues. And you know what? I see you, Dylan Ephron. I know.

I see you. I see you. I feel you and I get you. And also, can you imagine as someone that has a brother that also is much more famous than I am, it has to feel very different that the entire world was like, but where's your brother? Where's your brother? We're all waiting for your brother show up. And then your brother does show up. But it's like at that point, does Dylan want him there? I felt the same way, Jackie. I actually feel like that, oh, this is a whole thing. I know, dude. I think Zach really bungled it and I think he upstaged his brother. Thank you. Sabotage.

And I think that even though Zach's social media post encouraging people to vote for his brother was technically a nice brother thing, if I was Dylan, I would be like, did I only make it to the finals because my brother did that? It's very simply complicated. Thank you. Thank you. I would be so upset at the amount of media I am seeing that was like the only reason he's getting into the finals is because Zach Ephron, but da-da-da-da.

And you know what? He's worked very hard to get there. He has worked very hard. And again, I like Dylan Efron just for Dylan Efron. And to be clear, my husband wasn't mad at me because I think Dylan Efron's hot. My husband said was laughing at me because I was trying to explain why I now think he's hot. like he's hot in the way that like a normal person is hot and it was just like you mean a hot person and I was like no no no there's usually not our type though and he has to understand that

well I think I was trying to make a distinction between famous hot and like really hot regular person hot and to me Dylan Ephron seems like a different type of brother thing to me Dylan Ephron seems like if you have an older brother and his friend comes over and his friend is really hot like that's the type of hot Dylan Ephron is to me. Like, like, you go to high school with him and he's like the hottest guy at high school. And I don't think that, I think that's different than celebrity hot. And Gideon was like, there's no difference between famous person hot and regular person hot. And I was like, you're the crazy one.

You're the crazy one. You are the crazy one because obviously money really changes your idea of what beauty standards could be. And I think that that is inherently wrong, Gideon. I love that he believes that that wouldn't be right. It's very democratic of him to just be like hot is hot. But it's just, you are right. Some people are naturally very hot, but it's not the same as being plastered in front of millions of people. And this is actually evidenced perfectly by Zach and Dylan Ephron because Zach Efron, no fault of his own.

He did slip on sock and bashed his face into a fountain. The marble fountain that destroyed his face, yes. He does look like a reconstructed human being, like a Frankenstein's version of a hot. And Dylan Ephron just looks like, wow, you go to, I mean, he's 31 or whatever, but like if I did go to high school with him, I would be like, wow, you're hot. You know why he's also hot, though? It's because he lacks the confidence of the cool older brother's friend. You know what I mean?

Wow, that's very one direction of you. You don't know you're beautiful. You don't know you're beautiful and we can fix you. That's what makes you beautiful. That's what makes you beautiful because you don't know that you're beautiful and we can fix you. with that sentiment. But in this case, I think you're right. He doesn't, he has, it's not a,

he has brother syndrome. He has older brother in the shadow syndrome. You're 100% right. It is insecurity. And whilst insecurity is not often hot, in this case it is. How do we explain that? You know why it's because it's not weaponized insecurity.

I feel like he doesn't make it other, like you can tell he's not putting that on Daniela. Which can we just for a moment? I know that we're going to talk about dance starts later. we're going to put it on, but Daniel. All right. I have been this entire time, you know, I've been at my ebb and flow with really difficulty thirsting for Robert Irwin. My issues with difficulty thirsting for Dylan Ephron. Yeah. But really, I've been sleeping on Danielle. I know you. You posted that on Instagram yesterday. I was like, wait, we like Daniela, like in a sexual way. I lost my mind for her yesterday. It started yesterday. Why did it start at the end of the show? I've never because I was so busy looking at Dylan Ephron, but then he realized who's making Dylan Ephron shine? That bitch, oh my God,

what she was bringing to the Prince music because, MJ, you did text me, and you were like all these young people talking about Prince, they're just like, he was unique. I hated the way the young people, the young famous stars talked about Prince. He was just so himself, I'm like, you don't know who Prince is. And that's fine.

That's okay. You're young. that's okay. I feel like Danielle though was bringing the sex, the pop. I mean, same way Jordan Trousel. All right, we're not, we're going to get there later. We do it later. We do it later in the show. But he likes turkey sandwiches. Okay, guys. So he's just like us. He likes turkey sandwiches. He's just like us. And yes, he can come over to my home for Thanksgiving. And I think that in that article, I read through it. And like, I could like, Zodiac killer my way through that and figure out what he was asking was to come over to my specific Thanksgiving.

And I did say yes. And I did say that he could show me some of the dances if you wanted to. 100%. One last thought just on the Ephron brothers, which is that really I feel bad. It's really another example of how fame is like a curse. Like poor Zach Efron can't, it's like how a scientist can't be in the environment without changing the environment, you know, like the observer itself changes the experiment. Like just Zach Efron being there fucked everything up.

And that's not his fault. Fucked it all up. It's not his fault. Sometimes we don't need the support, okay? Sometimes it's better when you're not there. I truly feel bad for Zach Fron's fame. I'm like, man, you got famous because of high school musical and you've made a bunch of great things since then and you are like totally a great actor, but like you can't

even be there without everyone getting all fucked and like that must suck, you know? Like he just wanted to be there for his brother. And I think the reason he didn't come earlier was probably for this reason. But then he ended up just fucking it all. up at the end. Bucking it all up anyway, but at least he didn't do it in the finals. Oh my God. He better not be there for the finals. Stay out of his way. Give him some space. Let him shine. For a moment, let him shine. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Did I mention on the show, by the way, that when I said how I went into like a mind meld about how it is possible for two men in their early 30s to have a sibling who's

five. And I was like, how could a woman's reproductive window be that long? And then I realized it was probably the dad who had another kid. Yeah, I think it was the father. But then I heard from a listener who sent me a picture of her beautiful family and her oldest kid is like in her mid-20s and she also has a newborn. And she was like, is all me. Like I did that over the court like with a bunch of kids. And I was like, I am so impressed by that.

And I just want to spotlight that. How, how, what a neat thing. Wow. That is, man, what the human body can do. Miracles. Yeah. But could you imagine having 20-year-olds and then going back and starting over again? Well, there's a whole, it's a whole, she has a whole spread.

But yeah, whatever, I don't know. I don't know. Oh, whole spread. So the entire, oh, she was popping him out the entire time. Oh, yeah, like a whole big, beautiful. It's like, they're like the von Traps. It was, she sent me this family picture. I was enchanted.

I'm so glad you sent me that picture, and I absolutely loved it. And I love, yeah, I had a family like that when I was growing up a friend who, he was like 22 and he got a newborn sibling. and he had like 10 in between. I always worried that like the way in which that they came out, like I think it was because of the Brady Bunch and the way they would come down the stairs. I think I just kind of assumed that's how the babies popped out in the pocies.

Like they're just like, hello. And it's like a clown car where they just keep popping out. You're like, another one? Another one. Where are they going inside of there? Yes. And I have always, as we established, I always thought it would be fun to have a giant gaggle of kids.

And I know you share that same. it looks like a great time even when I saw six schizophrenic brothers I still despite that documentary You know I think about that documentary all the time That's one of those ones that really

The kernel of it Really took hold in a shadow of my brain Absolutely I read the book Recommended my listeners You did read the book, yes Fantastic book Yeah no I'm I'm really living and breathing that documentary but in any case

I just I was just thinking about the other documentary. Oh, God, I'm going to mess this up about the guy that was grooming and doing horrible things to the daughter, but then ended up also like fucking both the parents and then ended up like eventually, eventually come back around and kidnapping her again, like the daughter again later on. I was thinking about that documentary recently too. That documentary and I follow this Instagram, I think it's called like oddly horrifying or

something. It's just one of those ones where it's just like little memes of things. And it reminded me of that documentary. And I was just like, why do I follow this account? Because every time I read it, it's something that I'm just like, ah, ah, and then I continue on. And I look at my snacks and my Muppet, like, fan pages. But I don't follow any accounts like that, but they still show up in my algorithm. I think if you've ever engaged with any true crime content, yeah. So now it's just like, yeah, it's like, they're all accounts that are named like darkly disturbing. And then it's It's just like a little... You'll never sleep again.

It's just like a little paragraph with the worst thing you've ever heard. And it's just there... You're all good. While you're scrolling, seeing your friends, kids and everything. But here's the thing, MJ, every once in a while when I read one of them, I'm like, yeah. Because humanity is evil, you know? And so I think that that's a different kind of evil that is not usually my current reality. Usually their past facts, you know?

And I think that I think I lingered. I think my eye at lingered weight. like a little too long on like a because if it's from the past it doesn't upset me like like if I engage with like some weird thing some horrible man in the 50s did you know and it's like a black and white picture I'm like you're like watching Titanic and you're like it's too soon but yeah I got I get that shit in my algorithm all the time the creepy true crime stuff and it's very upsetting yeah yeah but I um didn't unfollow it I just thought that and I just kept on going and until the next nugget comes to terrify me I will stay at

in this stasis. But in this stasis, I dream of birds, but not all birds, just turkey. What am I Dylan Ephron? I am just starting to get excited about the overall planning of Thanksgiving. Because I went from thinking I wasn't going to have a Thanksgiving into not only am I having Thanksgiving, but I'm also hosting Thanksgiving. Yeah, that's a big, you've been through a journey. You were very sad for weeks thinking that you had self-canceled Thanksgiving. because Henry wasn't going to be there. And I love that. Again, talk about brother issues.

Because I'm mentally ill. I'm the same way. My brother missed one Thanksgiving at home and I was upset for the entire time. So I was like, okay, the holidays canceled. I guess I don't smile on that day. And I get, because I was like Henry and I always make Thanksgiving together. And if he's not here, why would I smile? Yeah.

And so, but now you have figured out a workaround and whilst Henry will be. Turns out we have other friends and we like we know other people. And you're just going to use your brother's house, which just like, you know, it's like he'll be there. Maybe it's like an Amityville horror situation where like Henry will be the house. Oh, the spirit of him. Ew, if he fucks with my meal from afar, if he ghost fucks her with it, I'm going to be very upset.

And if I find any ghost come inside of that turkey or I'm going to be looking for it, Henry. Yeah. No, he's going to, he's going to stick his fingers in your various soups while you're just by way of the house. But you're- How many soups do you think I'm making for Thanksgiving? Although Eddie won't be there this year. And Eddie also always makes, he makes beef and barley soup as part of an appetizer every single year. Really?

And it is so good. But it's always so funny because I never really get into it because it's hard to eat a whole bowl of soup as a part of all the appetizers with like before the meal because then I just get so full. Yeah, that's, that's what I've never had soup at Thanksgiving now that I think that. And beef and barley is a hearty soup. That's not... It's a hearty soup. Does he serve it in like... Is it like a fancy tasting menu or he brings it out in like a tiny little dish or something?

No, it's just in the pot on the stove. You just go up and grab whatever we want. Wow. All right. It's, you know, it's honestly, it's kind of, it's a Thanksgiving's dream. Yeah. You know, it's whatever you're looking for. It's, it can be found there.

Uh-huh. And especially if I'm fucking with the potatoes on Thanksgiving. It's scary, MJ, the world that I'm living in. So what's your, what are you thinking about? What do you getting excited about? about this year. I know you've been doing some practice turkeys. I have been doing some practice turkeys. I didn't get in as many practice turkeys as I usually do this year. So I do feel like I'm behind. And it's funny because saying that aloud, you realize that's an insane thing

to say. Uh-huh. You know that you don't have to make three to four turkeys before you make the turkey. I think I know how to make a turkey at this point. Yeah. But it's, I understand it's the tradition. It's like, yeah. I mean, I feel like for everyone has their, you know, the Advent calendars for the getting when you get the lights out and everything and for you are we talking to advent calendars i do want to talk about advent calendars i now that i'm at the point of my life that i could actually like perhaps afford one of the one of the i mean i'm not i'm not going to get a two hundred dollar whiskey advent calendar which is why i've never gotten one because that's a stupid way to spend money but no offense if that's what you do i've literally always wanted to but i feel

like now i've finally at the point of my life where i could even imagine spending that kind of money and now I'm too old to want it. I'm like, I can't drink a shot at whiskey every day through all of December. Can you not? I feel like it might help with your cheer. It's possible. It's possible. Just pretend like it's maple syrup. Show the kids elf again. Be like, it's my maple syrup that you're pouring into your coffee and just tell the kids it's maple syrup and then they'll never, they're never going to have a problem with it. Like they needed to make like a dirt bag whiskey advent calendar for me in my 20s, you know, and I guess I could have made it myself. I could have gotten a little tackle box and put a little shot of, you know, whatever

gutter well whiskey I was drinking at the time and just hidden it and made a little, made my own little dirtbag advent calendar. Could you imagine? I think one of the only things in our 20s we couldn't hide from ourselves was booze. That's true. I would have drank them all on the first. I remember a, like many, many years of my life that I didn't understand how people could just have a bottle of booze in their home. I'm like, what do you mean? I, drink it all in one night. How do you just have it sitting around? Like, I didn't understand.

Isn't that really maybe make you recognize maybe you have a problem? That is, you can't even imagine it. That's one of those things that now, yeah, I can't imagine living that way now. But yes, it is, for better or for worse, there was a period in our life where it was like

the Lucille Bluth, vodka goes bad once you open it thing. And if it was open, it was going to get finished that night. and is that shameful deeply? Yeah, it is. But you know what? Is it, though, if you learn from it and you grow?

We lived through it. We lived through it. And I'm here to tell you all about universal yums, advent calendar, because that's the one I purchased for myself this year. Yes, I was at the vibrator one. I didn't get the vibrator one. I don't need that many vibrators. I don't need that.

I've got a bunch of shit. Yeah. I don't, where am I going to put them? Like, how many cock rings does one cock need, you know? But how many yums does one cock need? At least 24. Okay, what type of yums are we talking about? It's their global yums, bitch.

Global yums. I don't fucking know what kind of global yums are inside of it. And I know that if I looked at the back of the Advent calendar, I would find out. But I won't look. And I'm going to be surprised every day by my universal yums. I don't know where they're coming from. I hope that every box tells me where it comes from and gives me the story of the candy, but I don't think that it's going to.

That does sound nice. I did, Jackie sent a list of Advent calendars, 2025's, like, trendiest, newest adult Advent calendars. And I did, I spent too long looking at this list. And it really does give you my priorities. I was like, vibrators, nope. Whiskey, maybe, $450, nope. And then the wine is like $275.

Nope, not doing it. there's a crystal one that's kind of fun that's a hundred bucks i could i i what do you mean crystal like quartz like like like like healing crystals yeah crystals man i don't know i'm not a crystal person but i i love christmas that's another kind of thing that you'd see that and be like my friend likes crystals i get them crystal thing yeah but then it's also like they i bet they have all those crystals yeah it's probably probably like the whiskey and wine it's probably they're probably not the best crystals although honestly for the price of these whiskey and wine calendars it Better be fucking good.

Better be pretty fucking good. I don't know. I think you're paying for the packaging at that point. But my problem with Advent calendars, and I'm going to say it every year, is that we don't have them every other month. I know. I'm not saying every month.

Every other month. Just something to look forward to get you out of fucking bed. Sometimes you just want to open it up and see what kind of universal yum comes out. At least, I do, maybe I should just do this and see how it goes. Make your own? No, my kids get so excited. excited about the advent calendar and then what are you doing this year what's the advent calendar

well now it's like we're we've kind of reached this kind of like uh we've we've we've advented too like we've advented too close to the sun too close to the sun i got to just like when you girl boss that's the problem i got two advent calendars this year because i'm a fun mom and i couldn't decide between lego friends which is always great we've done that before and bluey which is you know that's my fandom and they still like it too so i did get two and i might get two and i might get more. We're going to get a chocolate one. But every year, what I think about it, because also they're not that, it's like, okay, 20 bucks for like daily hit of dopamine and joy. Okay, yeah, I'll do that. Yeah, I will definitely do that. I always think I should just stock up on advent

calendars when they go on clearance around, you know, once December has started. They never go on clearance. I looked last year because I thought the same fucking thing, MJ. And then do it in January. And they don't go on clearance because they can just hold them for next year. And those bastards, those gatekeeping Advent calendar fucks. Give us the goods. Put it on clearance. Yeah, because now it's turned it because fucking everything is now has to be like a series,

part of like a new trend and a series and you're always supposed to be buying new shit. I feel like there's like a, it's all scarcity. Like I keep getting these Instagram ads that are like, get this Advent calendar before it sells out, which is why I already have two Advent calendars mid-November because I was afraid they're going to sell out. And they're like, oh, there's a new one and it's all squish toys.

and your children, it'll solve all your children's problems. Buy this one. And I bet it will. It's going to do it this year. The Advent calendar is going to save us all this year. If we could just put, if we just put all our problems into the Advent calendar. And then all it gives us back is candy or, you know, a vibrator, depending on what Advent calendar you get. Yeah.

And I had a lot of fun. Our wonderful friend, Jasmine, always sends us fun Advent calendars. And, man, that's slime calendar last year. year. I tell you. Yeah. Or was it last year was a year before. I don't remember I fucked with those slimes until the goddamn slimes came apart. Yeah. No, you did. Yeah. And there is, yeah, there's so, but, but yeah, I think now it's like now, I think we advented too close to the sun because now like, you know, we're like looking at, we're like looking at all the advent calendars. We're like, none of these are good enough. They need to get. We need more, you know,

like, you need something that really slaps. And that's a problem, though. And then you find yourself like I got poo craved last year by that Gilmore. girls' advent calendar. Yes. So you also can't trust. Can't trust. Remind yourself that just because Instagram gives you an ad for it does not mean that it is the proper place from which to purchase something.

Man, Instagram ads just disable my judgment. It is so. I know. They just know what I want. They know what I want. I'm just like, God, I'm putting in your hands. It's so embarrassing. How susceptible I am to the Instagram ads, it's really bad.

Yeah, or how susceptible I am to, like what you were just saying with advert Gallagher's of like, if you don't buy it now, you will be shot in the head. You're just like, I have to, I got to get this advert. What do I do it? Like, if I don't have it. It's selling out. Okay. All right.

I've got to have it. It's just one click. I don't even have to go get by a credit card out anymore, you know? I just feel like the capitalism is really capitalism. Oh, yeah. capitalizing this year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think we're all feeling it a little bit more this year.

Oh, yeah. And it is just like, God, they're so desperate. It's kind of fun, though, when you look at it. And then if you see the emails as desperation, like, think of it as like a sex pest instead. And maybe that will help you. You just be like, please, it's 35% off, please. Oh, just give me a lick of the toes, please. Yeah.

And shop small. Don't forget about that. and always shop small and honestly I do a lot of my shopping we work at a lot of Halloween like it's like I mean spooky cons through the season so I do a lot of my shopping at those so definitely look to the little markets in your area look to and get it's like then well you know it's not AI you're like I'm looking at the person that made this totally that is wonderful yes so uses this I always use the holidays as an excuse to like like I have friends who are a visual

artists who make shit. And like, I'm very happy to spend a hundred bucks on the amazing thing that you made and give that as a big gift instead of, you know, getting some stupid thing from an Instagram algorithm ad. Like, check out my husband's work. He's starting to put up all of his painting, his horror artwork that he does with spray paint and wood. Look up crude ink. And you can grab that wherever you get your internet. Yes. Yes. And I have been, I'm so excited. I love spooky Halloween and it's always it's funny because in the world of the goths I am not

while I love nightmare before Christmas love it love it love it it is not like a section of my personality like in some of the spheres of goth world and I do not judge them I give I'm so happy for them it's just something that I don't quite

like I never got the all of that Yeah, yeah, I understand. But now we got got Goth Thanksgiving because next week everyone's going to hear us watch Adam's Family Values. And now I'm a complete convert to Adam's Family Values. I loved it so much. It was funny because I was describing to Jeff because we finally watched Adam's Family Values and MJ watched it for the first time. And I was trying to describe to Jeff your experience with watching it because I need everyone to know before going into watching Adams Family Values, which will be available on Thanksgiving Day. But also, we will. have exclusive Patreon access to the full watch-along and the movie over on the Patreon, patreon.com slash page

7 podcast. We're going to have that a day early, so that'll be on Wednesday, and we can't obviously, like, publicly show the movie, or else we'll get in trouble. Can do whatever we want on our Patreon, so go check that out if you would like to watch MJ,

experience the Adams family, and I'm not talking about Adams Family, I'm talking about the Adam's family for the first time. The entire franchise. And then afterwards, when I was explaining this to Jeff, Jeff was like, were at any point you, were you offended that MJ was so surprised that it was so good? And I was like, you know what?

I wasn't, but now I am. Now you are. Yeah, that I was like, this is actually a good movie. I can't believe Jackie liked something that was, wait, you like something good for once? We all know the experience of revisiting a. 90s movie. No, you're right. It's not your judgment. It's not your judgment. It's like, it's like a 90s movie that you love. And then sometimes you go back to it and you're like, man, this holds up so well. And then other times, you're like, this holds up. Yeah, sometimes

it's a huge, and then sometimes it's like, this is 90% amazing and 10% got to take, throw it out with the trash. It's complicated. I mean, Ace Ventura was my favorite movie for my entire life. Oh, and it's, I, uh, like, and then it was like, unfortunately. Fortunately, the fundamental premise of this movie renders it irredeatable. Gotta go in the trash. And it's got to go in the trash. And so, you know, and so that's the, it's like such an emotional experience. Which is why I was thrilled to feel, to realize I didn't feel that way about revisiting Mrs. Doubtfire.

I was like, I still love this movie. Yes. Because that's, that's, you know, father problems, rather. I feel like that's not so much going into trans issues as it is. I didn't feel like it was trans panicky. Yeah. I would be open to hearing people who think that that, that I'm wrong about that. But I really, I was like, I feel like, I feel like this is.

yeah, bad daddy. And yes, drag, but, like, I don't feel like there's a lot of trans panic driving the premise of this movie the way that that is the entire premise of Ace Ventura. I think you are allowed to feel however you want to feel about it. I don't think that if you feel this way, that anyone can tell you that you're wrong about it. Yeah, yeah, that's true. They are allowed to feel however they want to feel. But so I was so, yeah, but I did.

It is like when Gideon and I watched The Godfather, and we were like, this is really good. Like, I watch Eb's Family Values. And I was like, this is fucking fantastic. But again, I'm like, oh, yeah, there is a whole, like, I know that there's this, like, deeper symbolism to the Adams family, like, being outsiders. And, like, but I was like, man, as a, like, pissy little alienated kid who loved to hate everyone else, I would have loved these movies when I was a kid. Right, because up top, when we were watching it, you were just like, oh, I just wasn't a goth kid. So I didn't think it was for me. And they just encapsulate so much more.

But definitely check that out next week when you'll get watching in real time. as MJ learns all this and then I afterwards was like oh was I just the annoying person that just kept being like and then Adam's family this and then if you want to know more about the Adam's family and then I'll tell you about it

and I felt like you know my husband probably does when people ask him flag facts and he gets so excited I think it's great this is also me now with Wicked I'm really excited to see Wicked too I was not a Wicked head my tongue

Are you bringing out the cream? I'm bringing out the cream, cream, cream. And yeah, I'm talking about my pink cream. Oh, oh, it's not supposed to be that color. I need to say, thank you so, so, so much to whomever out there in the world sent me bottles of the wicked collab edition of salted caramel whipped cream. and it is pink for Glinda. Okay, I was going to say it's, I see a green can.

Is it an alpha can? Or is it Glinda? It is, it's, it is alpha-bo-coded, but Glinda on the inside. And I received this at my PO box, and usually I receive, like, if something's supposed to be refrigerated, I receive a call, didn't receive a call, picked it up four days later, and they're like, oh, this is supposed to be refrigerated. And I was like, oh, thank you. But I understand you're busy and I'm fine with it.

So I took it home, did a bunch of research because I was like, I'm not going to get rid of this. The research is inconclusive over whether or not I'm going to get sick from eating this. But did I go to four other stores looking for it? Yes, could not find it. Wow. So, and this is, I just want to say to the anonymous person that sent it, I thought, about you and I might be thinking about you later and you can all tune back in somewhere else to find out if I shit through the rest of my day or I don't know or puke or because I'm about to

start I'm about to start squirting this squirty cream and it's about to get thick hopefully not everyone whoever you are who said the whipped cream I did you know how thankful Jackie is how excited she is I'm so excited and that she's so excited that I was so excited that I was so disappointed to find that the whipped cream had been left at room temperature before it is that she asked Jeff, or no, not even asked Jeff. She just went for it after doing her own research, do your own research. And then Jeff saw Jackie eating the room temperature whipped cream and begged her to stop. And she not stopped, but can't tell our girl what to do. No. And I said, someone sent this in and I'm going to fucking eat it. And it said on one Reddit post from like 15 years ago that

if it's not actively curdled, then you're fine. I also get my food safety from Reddit. I'm frequently... Good, good, good. No scientists on there. Just other random people saying whatever they feel. But I did want to give a little squirt while I'm on air. You know, I want to see what we got going on here.

Let's see if we make it through the rest of the episode. I mean, at least the best part is that we're halfway through this episode. It wouldn't affect this episode. But listen to further episodes of Crescent City if you'd like to find out if I do shit my way through other episodes during the day. I think it's aspirational that you're going to be shitting instead of pukin. But, you know, again, we'll find out. I think it's fine.

Oh, okay. I don't think there's enough dairy in that cream. It's not a hot pink. It's not a hot pink. It's definitely a baby pink. I'd say it's more of a rose. It's cute, though. I have to get this for my kids. Good fucking luck finding it. He sent me some of the room temperature stuff. I'll say he's on the room temperature stuff. I will also

throw it out there that I am, I don't go into targets. And I'm like, it might, be in a target i don't know but i'm not going into target so yeah i'm looking this all right if you're doing it how's it taste does it taste old oh i mean i like the taste of it it's very it's got a good salted salted like i like that you really do get the salted part of the caramel but i feel like you get more salt and cream than you do caramel salt and cream then yeah that's interesting. Yeah. So it's weird. Yeah, it's, which is delicious. And I'll eat, I mean, I'll do another squirt. Yeah. Because I mean, if we're going down, babe, we're going now. I am, I am researching

this as we speak. And apparently expired whipped cream could do something called weeping. It will, what that mean? It will lose. It's not crying. Are you sad? Are you sad? It's fine. It will lose its fluffy form and begin to weep. if it has gone bad and it looks like yours doesn't weepen. I'm going squirt number two. Look it out. It doesn't look sad at all.

It's not weeping. It's not weeping at all. This is the happiest fucking cream I've ever seen. Melting and weeping, they're talking about me? Oh my God. Yeah, what are they looking in my room at night? The only thing is weeping in me, baby.

I, um, so I want to say thank you and I like this. And if you can find it. Yeah. Get it. It is crazy. I've seen so, because, of course, I've said this in front of my phone before about the wicked

collabs, and I follow a lot of snacks. Very interesting how we were talking about at, oh, God, I always forget, take five is the candy bar. Five, it's big five, five, five below. No, five below, five below. Love five below had a bunch of wicked stuff that, like, you know, pink and green, and pink and green, and someone was going through and was pointing out that there were some things that were unnecessarily flavored watermelon when they could have been flavored green apple

that could be flavored other than and like this person was going through and making social commentary about everything of like what is this trying to fucking say oh interesting elvabas go oh it's all got to be the watermelon stuff huh and it was just this it was just a person of color just rip and like reading every single collab at Below Five. That is, the entire store has been taken over by Wicked. But like I, yeah, I have always loved Five Below. We used to shop for the school that I used to work at. We would buy holiday gifts for all the kids.

And you can get a lot of stuff at Five Below. And so I've always loved Five Below. But now it's just like, again, because of like the way that like YouTube and TikTok trends are, it's just like all it's just like everything in the store is hello kitty wicked or stranger things every last thing and that's all it is what the children want so i guess i guess that's i guess that's where we're at i guess but then cut to me alone trying stranger things collab things just being like this is just a piece of cake this is our stranger things this is nothing to do it yeah yeah and i'm mad because i thought it was fucking out stranger things i was like giddy and i were trying to figure out what to watch and i was

Like, you know, I guess let's just do Stranger Things. We've enjoyed it together. Like, let's do it. And I was like, they just had a premiere party. Surely all of this relentless press means it has started. And I think it starts November 28th. 26, yeah. This fucking blue balling 26.

Okay, like the, yeah, major blue balls on Stranger Things. You're going to spend the entire month. Oh, my. I understand that you do that for a movie. But like for a Netflix show. Thanksgiving washing. That's what they do. They put it all.

in Thanksgiving and they're like, and then it's great because I don't want we're done. They'll be car, right. I don't care about your stranger things. Oh, it comes out the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Yeah, some people can binge it, I imagine, over the holiday. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving is for going to your hometown bar and seeing people who you didn't like in high school and then you like them now.

That's what it's for, okay? Yes. Go to your neighborhood local bar. Friends with holidays. Yes, friends with Christmas. Go cheat on your partner. go to your hometown. Find that lumberjack. I don't want you home watching Netflix on Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I want you at the local bar making mistakes. That's what it's for. If you are alone, though, you could check out vampire bloodbath and you could get all caught up on vampire bloodbath. And that would be a fun way to spend your time if you did want to avoid your family, which I think a lot of us do want to do. And you can find that over on YouTube.com slash at LPNTV. Get caught up. Get caught up. Get caught. out up. They're hours out now. And I will be seeing Wicked with my family at some point over the

Thanksgiving weekend and I am excited. Did you cry because like seeing it with your kids like they're not going to accept and like love it as much as you love it? I think that me, I think we're all on the same wicked journey because I wasn't a wicked head before and so I watched it for the first time with them and they watched, you know, and I think we all felt similar, which is this is long but enjoyable. Yes. And I think we'll probably feel similar if we see it in the theater.

That's the only thing. I did look up the running time. It is blessedly less long than the first one. That is great. Still over two hours. Two hours 17. Oh yeah.

It's a thicken. That's still long. That's the only thing getting me pause about seeing it in the theater. But yeah, we'll see if there's, you know, a kid.

Well, obviously, we're not going to an evening showing. Oh my God. I'm going to cry. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see the video I posted of Cynthia Revo?

going to the girls' choir practice and surprising them. Yes. It was so nice. She's so nice when she's not with Ariana Grande, okay? I need them to separate. Well, when they're together, at least she's taking care of her. I know. She has a lot of love to give, and all that love is going to Ariana Grande, and I need it to go

to the girls' choir instead of to Ariana. Ariana is an adult, okay? And yes, I guess we could be talking about all of the news that Ariana made by going on Amy Polar's podcast and talking about it. But I don't, I need, I need less from Ariana right now. I need more from Cynthia, less from Ariana. That's how I feel. You know, and it's just like, I feel like I've been so holden-pilled for so long because I saw this.

I've been seeing these because, you know, all the PRs everywhere. And there was, like, I've seen so many videos of Ariana Grande being just such a sweet person, like such a nice. She does seem sweet. person and I watch these videos. I'm just like, why do we? Are we just, is it just Holden because she said orionators? Is that really where it all came from? Honestly, to me it's not that.

I, if anything, I think that Holden's hatred for her would drive us to like her more. I know. But I, she's, am I brainwashed? I don't know. Maybe I just feel like she's acting, you're right that she's sweet. And I will admit that I did actually find her pretty charming in the Amy polar eclipse. I remember finding her really charming in that, that, uh, like the Vanity Fair lie detector test that she and Cynthia rebuilt in back in the first one came out. She,

I thought she was really funny. But like, I don't know. I just don't know. Like, I just feel like lately ever since the Wicked One came out, she's just getting increased, like she has this weird bird in the headlights look deer in the headlights. Fragile bird. You could be bird in the headlights too. Like Eddie's bird. Bird don't want to be in headlights. So I'll tell you what. Like Eddie driving around with a birdhead in his. his headlight. There's, it's just something is, I'm like, why do you look like you are in shock all the time?

Is it, and that, it's there, it's her affect is driving me crazy. And I, and then, yeah, then I go down this big spiral like, is this internalized misogyny? Why am I feeling so angry? Good, turn that shame towards yourself. Good. Yeah, that's what we like to hear. I'm just like, I saw this video, Cynthia Revo going to the girls choir practice and I was like, you're lovely.

Why am I, why have I, why do I hate you? It's because there's been over a year, and I feel like it's like, it was quiet. We did forget about Wicked for at least a point in time. But then you look back to last time, like this year last time, and it was exactly the same word. It was just like, no, look, I can't give a shit anymore. You know, it's like, at least this isn't SpongeBob stuff. It's that. And it's like, I don't know, is it like her eyebrow work?

Like, why does she always look shocked and surprised? I think it's also because her hair has been pulled back so tight for so. long. I think it makes her eyes kind of pop like a Boston Terrier. Yeah, yeah. She looks like a scared Boston Terrier. Like, cute. Cute, so cute. I love, I love a Boston Terrier. Talented, smart, you know, like I, yeah, I, and I'm fully, before you come at me, okay, I'm fully ready to embrace being wrong about this. I'm not saying I'm right. I'm just trying to describe the constellation of feelings being evoked by this press tour. I just feel like she's like when a bird is in a cage and they put the cloth over it so that it's night time. And it's like every

interview, it's like they just whipped the sheet off of it. And she's like, yes. Why are you so surprised to be doing an interview right now? Like, you've been famous since you were a child. Why are you so shocked? Why are you so scared? Like, why do you need to, Deerrivo to, like, hold, to be touching a part of your body at all times? Are you okay? Like, you know, Michelle Yo looks different. Everyone who's up and on that set, it's like there's fucking gas leaking into the set or something that's making them all. But also, think of how crazy they must feel because they shot these movies back to back at the same time. And at this point, what, three years ago? And now it's also then they're all, it's all coming back.

Imagine all of them getting together again because we've talked about the showmances before. We talked about how close a set can be when you're working on a project together and you all get so close. But then we haven't really discussed what happens when you guys see each other again in the future, when you're all different people. And you're all like, and you remember.

Yes. Yes. And it's so weird that even obviously I can't compare it to Wicked, but when I was on top elf, yeah, very similar. Very, very similar. Thank you. Everyone was comparing me to Ariana Grande. Thank you. And it was during 2020, and it was right when all of the studios opened back up.

So I have a lot of, like, trauma from that time period, and I saw one of my elves in the wild, and I just was like, I was a different person. I can't even, I remember, like, talking to all the elves being like, if this show gets picked up again next year, you're all going to see me, and I'm going to be engaged. And I remember just being like, I'm going to be engaged. I want that man to propose to my ass And next time you see me, I'm going to be engaged. And I mean, I did get engaged like, you know, like a couple months after. You did. But I then didn't, I was like, I don't even know who I'm not that elf anymore.

Right, right. I'm not that elf. And I'll be singing that while I watch Wicked next week. Yeah, yeah. It's like there's the summer camp bonding thing. There's like a Lycurt scale. of like on one end is summer camp bonding and then on the other end is like cult right and like full immersive loss of obsession yeah loss of full loss of sense of self and um and and yeah

and i and i love summer camp bonding i built my life around it i am who i am because of bonding and theater right but i also just wonder if the cast of wicket has gone further on the Lycurt scale than we maybe would have hoped. I don't know what's going on. They must. We're going to see it and we're going to love it and I'm going to be singing for good for the next three months and it's going to be great. Because not only was it a set, it was a huge set that also was very technical, so I'm sure

it took a very long time. And it probably was all so closed off because they didn't want anyone to see anything. They need to keep everything so secret that you must go mad for that. amount of time. You know, you think about like the people that are shooting like game Game of Thrones. Like, no wonder they all became so close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're all weird afterwards. Yeah. Yeah. That is. And you know what else is like a fucking summer camp experience? Dancing with the stars. Jackie. Can we talk about it? Oh, you want to go. I did just want to touch on real fast the fact of, um, how similar you and the Pope are in many ways.

And I, I'm always saying this to you. And I'm just like, MJ who? I'm sorry. I thought I was, listen, I, me and the Pope don't share, you know, platforms on reproductive rights, okay? I need to say that up top. But we do share a love of the same two movies. His two favorite movies are my two favorite movies and it's sound of music and it's a wonderful life, okay? They're two perfect films. Watch a new fucking movie, the two of you. They're both great movies.

But I just feel like there have been other also great. I feel like the Pope get in front of you. a screen. Okay, his other two favorite movies are ordinary people and life is beautiful, which is funnier. I do love ordinary people, and I do love that for both me and the Pope. The fact that he loves ordinary people is such a funny, like, again, fantastic movie. It makes sense to have that as a favorite movie, but also it is, it's like... It's one of my favorite movies. Yeah, yeah, I guess it's fine. I just, you know, it's a wonderful life and sound of music very different from ordinary people. I guess, but it's a wonderful life. Life is beautiful.

and ordinary people are definitely three. I mean, remember as he's clowning his way off the screen? Like, Life is Beautiful was also another one of those ones that really, I was too young to see it. I think that it was one of those things where it's like, ah, you're watching all the other things. You can handle this. I think I was like nine when I saw Life as Beautiful. Yeah, I think we were in like fifth and sixth grade when it came out. Wrecked me.

Wrecked me, wrecked me, wrecked. It's also why I was so obsessed with Holocaust books. But, you know, we don't need to talk about that. What we do need to talk about is Dancing with the Stars. Sorry, I just needed to get that. You know, I love sprinkling a little Pope on my dog. Yes, I, you know, I'm a fan of certain things about the Chicago Pope and his love. Only very certain things.

Very certain things. Not everything. I do not wholeheartedly endorse the Catholic Church, guys. I just do think that the Pope. MJ, why did she just go convert already? Pucasaurus racks shoving it down our throats But the Pope loving

Julie Anders Christopher Plummer And Jimmy Stewart You know I can't I cannot fault him for that You gotta you gotta hand it to him When he's right It would be funny if his like My favorite movie is Spider-Man 3

And it's like it's really because of the jazz scene And it's just him Just watching You know Toby McGuire do his thing And it's like when people Really weren't supporting him anymore You know, it's just...

Spider-Man 3 is a... You don't expect that one. Champion a different fighter, Pope. You know, help some of the little guys out. All right, no. Now we're talking about Dancing with the Stars. Okay. Because we have to.

And we did wait this long in the episode. Yeah, we did. We waited even longer than usual. And spoiler alert, if you haven't seen it yet, we will be talking about who got eliminated because I am filled with sadness and confusing sadness. and rage.

Bro, we've got so much to talk about because Sherpa Cass really did enlighten me to what's going on on the internet with what happened with that elimination. Yeah, so should we start there? I guess we can start there because as someone that

consumed, let's say that I have been create, I have to make a bunch of merch we have a big show this weekend, so I've just been making a lot of merchandise and I did watch all of Secret Lives of Mormon wives this week. I'm one episode in, so I'm there with you, but I'm not caught up.

Love this. Love this. And I do want to say to those of you, I've gotten a few emails that do want more conversations with Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, and sister wives. And I feel like I could do a whole TED talk on, you know, there's so much I want to say that I feel like at some point, do I need to have a separate platform just so I can sit? and ramble about the Mormon shows I watch? I don't know. I don't know what I need. And my problem is I also want to talk about all three of those shows because I want to watch all three of my just, I need to wait till I'm done.

Oh, you don't have a lot of time for slow Mormon content? Like there's just so much Mormon content. I'm sorry, that's only Sister Wives. That comment was only directed at Sister Wives because honestly, there are sometimes when I'm just watching the episodes, I'm like, I am just consuming this, aren't I? What is going on with this? Yeah. But also so much is going on with it. But, yeah, and I love it.

But yes, Secret Lives and Mormon Wives is back. We will be talking about that one. My God, Cody Brown in that stupid fucking survival, whatever show. Do I, okay, sidebar for all my sister heads out there. Do I need, do I need to hate watch Cody Brown in the, like, it's called like special task force? It's like one of the one, the one that Jojo C was on. And I know that he was put on there. And I do want to watch him be punished.

Yes. So if he gets punished on the show, if someone has watched it because I think I watched the first 10 minutes of the first episode and I was like, I don't know. I don't know if I should spend my time. I don't know if I can do this.

I love Teresa Juddyes, but I just don't know if this is what I need right now because I've got so much Mormon content to slurp up. Yeah. But, so last week, for those of you unaware, in the spheres of reality, last week's season three of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives

dropped and in that season Whitney said many times that the only reason she was in season three was because it gave her an eligibility to try to be on dancing with the stars she's making no fucking bones about it

I have a procedural question about that. Why do you need to okay, I'm pretty sure correct me if I'm wrong Dancer's heads. Because then she'd be nobody. If she's not of the secret lives of Mormon wives, if she's not on it currently, they didn't want to give her a platform. Alfonso Ribero is not currently on Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Once you're famous, you can stay famous. I don't understand that.

But Whitney's not famous. She's famous to us because we watch a show and she's famous to people that watch that show. But to most of like, you know, regular America, people aren't all as obsessed with these Mormon reality shows. Alex Earle and Dylan Ephron are both introduced as social media stars. She's a social media star. I don't understand this.

MJ, I think they used it as a tactic. I'm pretty sure because she creates so much drama on Secret Lives of Mormon Wives that they used it as a tactic to force her to stay. Sure, that makes sense. For those of us that watch Secret Lives and Mormon Wives, she's a fucking raging bitch. I know. She's a bitch.

Awful person. But we also have to remind ourselves that that is a television show. It is the edits of a television show. And what we've learned from her on Dancing with the Star is she's a performer. So she knows, she's an act. I mean, she's not an actor, but she is a, she knows all of those bitches know what they're doing. They are all very skilled. Look at fucking Demi.

Who gave a fuck about Demi until DeMey became the, the villain of the show. I didn't even remember what she looked like. I kept confused with the other one. I couldn't possibly give a fuck about her. Oh my God. I spent the entire first episode being like, who's Miranda? Miranda's ex? Who's Miranda? And she's the new one. I like her bitch voice. I like her. Yeah, she's fine. I like her. And I, it is funny because I was talking to a friend of mine. I was getting caught up on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City while also watching all of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives this week. And we had a whole conversation talking about Whitney,

but she was talking about the other Whitney on SLC, and I was talking about Whitney from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Also, those Whitney's look like they could be fucking sisters, don't they? It's honestly, once they all get the same plastic surgery, like this is a thing, Heather Gay, like, what I, and no judgments about you take those fucking GLP ones. You fucking do you, bitch, you fucking do whatever. you got it too. But it is so, like, it's funny because in this season, though, you can tell

that bitch must have just gotten a full tummy tuck because she's in a bikini and she's like laying down in the bikini. I was like, us fat bitches would never be in a bikini laying down on camera. But she is, man, that new tight stomach of hers. And she looks like a completely different person. And yet she looks now way more like the other ones because she just got all the same last of chapter. Right, right, right. And yeah, to me and Jesse, look, I thought they were sisters for the first year. Oh, and I was talking about the other one. I know. You're talking about it. Yeah. Yes, but, but back to Whitney. I'm confusing all the Mormons. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Back to Whitney. Oh, yeah, you were talking about the other

Whitney. I just think both of those Whitney's look disturbingly similar. But yes, this Whitney has obviously had a big renaissance on the show. Huge favorite. Villain edit. Villain edit for the for Mormon wives, but, but hero edit for Dancing with a Star. You're right. But the problem is, is that America has to vote. And she is, it is part of what my struggle was in watching this and rooting for her in the first place. It was like, but she's such a bitch. But she's such a bitch on the show. And this is all so tactical to release this during all of this. The same week that the season drops. It's all doing exactly what it's supposed to do. You know, it's all, it's all what it's, but then.

Cass said or like was it like that kind of or like shot the villain at it you know it's like they expected she expected to be bumped off this week or was it that she cursed I think it's that on live television and then they ripped her that you do think it's definitely that I'm a I'm a it's because she cursed truth her and which which makes me feel bad for her that's why I'm so sad and you know that she must be and again listen I'm not a professional dance judge okay I'm not Bruno over here. So I have no idea if I'm right that she's... Take off your shirt, MJ. If you're not standing and screaming with your shirt off, I don't know who the hell you are. When his jacket button broke and he's just wearing a jacket

over a bare chest. Just bare chest. I love it. I loved it. So I need you guys to know that we're... Derek kept trying to like cover his chest while he's like doing the adjudications. Like I saw Derek like trying to close his coat a little bit. Because his nipples get popping out. I sing these people's praises as dancers, not only as an amateur, as a complete idiot. I have no idea. I have no idea. But I personally have been so moved watching Whitney and it has given me this whole deeper sense of like, it's given to her a humanity that she definitely does not have on Secret Lives and Mormon Wives. And then they ripped it all away with Secret Lives, man. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah. All right. That'll be fun. I'm excited for that. I haven't gotten to it yet. But they ripped it all the way on dancing with the stars. And I think

it's, well, I was talking with Cass about this. I know Cass has been messaging both of us, but Cass's theory, well, I don't want to speak for you, Cass. A theory that we were discussing is that Zach Efron, fucking fly in the ointment, posted

everybody vote for my brother Dylan which gave Dylan a big boost. That combined with Whitney swearing, I think that the produce, maybe it was actually, I don't know, What I'm saying is two different theories that both can't be true.

Is it that Dylan got more votes because of Zach Ephron? Or is it that the producers were just like she just swore on live television, get her out? Because honestly, these were the first two dances. And obviously I said last night I fell in love with Daniela. And I realized that really who's winning in the Dylan Ephron Daniela is Daniela because Dylan Ephron, he's doing a great job. But I mean, who's the star of these dances? Who's who's popping it? Who's hitting it?

You know, it's just. I know you can't say that because she's the professional, but. I love you and I love Dylan Ephron. I think it is absolute madness that he's going to the finale and Whitney's not. Wow. Madness, eh? I think it is what the world is upside down, Jackie. Left is right, right, right is what?

And I don't know what to do about it. She's such a good dancer. But also. She's so good. That first dance. Oh. And also. for those that don't watch, it was Prince

Night. It was Prince Night, but like with a band doing Prince, Gideon, he was so upset because they kept doing it at different speeds. Different speeds. They kept doing it at different speeds. And I imagine they had to do the tempo for the dance. But there was, I forgot what song it was that I was like, it was just like,

it was like, it was right, it's like Rasmerebrae bradda and it was like, and it was like, this is so, it was like too much. We were laughing so hard about the idea of doing a jive to Purple Rain and being like, Purple Rain. With the like tambourine night and that was Prince Knight and that was cool but also just ever so ever so slightly weird it was even bad it was just weird to have people who weren't Prince but I just I would have loved to have heard Prince on Prince Knight actual Prince but that's not what we got and that's fine we got weird live band playing Prince but it wasn't the band's fault they hadn't changed the time. for the dances, MJ.

Totally. And, yeah, I mean, everyone is going to, the finale's going to be great. Alex Earle is incredible. I really think she is the heart of the show now that Andy's gone because she...

Oh, you think it's Alex Earle? You don't think it's Jordan Childs? No, you know what? I feel like I owe an apology to everyone here at page seven for even not loving Jordan Childs sooner. I did love her. Thank you.

And thank you for saying that. Thank you for... I needed to hear it. I think we all needed to hear this. I've liked all of her dances. She just does... lips. I've liked all of her dances, but I, yeah, I had a stick up my ass about being like, well, this feels more like gymnastics than dance. And I was wrong. And I'm here to say I was

wrong. That Paso doble. Yeah, the Paso doblea was awesome. Oh, my God. Fierce. Yeah. What? Oh, my God, a Tigris. Just, she is there. Man, I feel like last night, though, you know obviously an Olympian she's she knows how to fight hard last night i feel like was the first time that she was just like i'm a fucking champion and i'm bringing it all yeah and she ain't leaving nothing on that dance floor i'll tell you that and also elaine that's second dance first dance snore i would have sent her home off the first dance and i'm saying it i uh well that's second Dance. Okay, because also people are mad. People think we are underselling Elaine. People are mad at us about that. And I will admit that I think I was also wrong about Elaine because I was like, I was like, get out of here, Elaine, but I was wrong. I think I feel so bad that she is in pain, but obviously she still wants to be there and is still doing it. And part of me, I think in my head, I decided that they're forcing her to stay. and that she doesn't want to stay

even though nobody said that and Jackie, that's again, that's just the call's coming from inside of the house. Yeah. And so I think part of my feelings were just let her go get healed. She needs to heal. Like, you can't heal a rib thing while you're dancing like that. And also again, guys, when we talk about

the, like how old she is, we're making fun of how they talk about her. We're not trying to participate. This old bitch can really be spun around a dance floor. They literally wouldn't. not saying that. When they announced that she won, Alfonso Rabiro, I think it was him, because I think, I'm assuming he was announcing, they said, she's 54, instead of saying her name. They literally said when they were choosing, they were, she's 54. I know, oh, stop. They replaced

her name with, she's 54. That's like saying there's a, our next female comedian coming to stage, it's another one of it. It's like, why do we have to, we don't need to, say 54. Do we need to? She just you're telling her that she made it to the finals and you're saying you're going to open with. Not that it's something to be embarrassed of. It's just still, it's unnecessary. So unnecessary. And yeah, and I think that...

I feel like they bring up her eight. I know she's 54 because they've brought it up so many times. So many times. And if a man, I mean, I don't know how old Andy Richter is, but like a man being 54 is just not a huge deal. And a woman being 54 is a get brave. Hashtag brave. Wow. Look at her. So brave. I can't believe she

leaves the bed. Andy Richter is 59. And granted, they talked, I mean, there was a, I think it was really fat phobia driving the discourse around Andy Richter. They're just like, you're so brave to be out here and not skinny. But like, you know, nobody, they never mentioned his age. And Elaine, they're over here like, are you sure, grandma, that you want to stay, you know? But she, she did. You didn't need your walker at all during that. Wow. You can stand upright on your own. But she did, yes, I agree. She did great. and I'm sorry that I said she should go home. I was wrong. And Jordan Childs, you're amazing.

Yeah, maybe Jordan Childs is the heart of the show. They're all the heart of the show at this point. But the real, I mean, if Robert Irwin doesn't win, I'm going to jump through a play class window. I'm burning the world to the ground. If he does it, he's, I honestly thought that Whitney could have won, and now I want Robert to win. I thought that Whitney was going to win this whole time,

which I guess I should be relieved. I feel sad for her if she got sent home because of cursing. I don't feel sad for her if she got sent home because everybody thinks she's a bitch. Could you imagine how much you would beat the fuck out of yourself if you got kicked off after all that work just for cursing? Exactly. That's what I was thinking about. Like she's so, she and she spent the whole episode as her being like, I love myself more now that I'm here. I feel more like myself when I'm dancing than any other time.

And then they're like, bye, bitch. And so, yeah, that's why I felt bad for her. But it is a good reminder, especially now that season three of Secret Lysmoremoremore was out, that she is a terrible person and that she'll be fine. Or is she? Is it just what her function is in the show? They're all terrible people. That's the thing.

It's like, it is a reality show. And I know that we talk about reality as if it's all real. But we do know that a lot of it is scripted and that there are reasons why they do. And also, somebody's got to be the villain, it gets you more screen time. And if you're doing fucking reality, it's better to be a villain because you actually could control your narrative if you want. Right, right, right.

Yeah, no, it's true. And the narrative is not, you know, it's not great. Yeah. But people will talk about you. But I hadn't considered that maybe everybody has now, this week, has seen season three and it's like, oh, you bitch. Yeah. So that's, that is something to consider.

It didn't help. It certainly didn't help. Yeah, yeah. No, that's fair. But yeah, I mean, Robert Irwin, last night, I just kept being like, that's my son. I raised such a good boy. I am so proud of him. I love that his mom has just been there.

I love that, even when Carrie Ann and Abba was like, I feel like your mom in my, and then they like showed over to his mom. And I was like, all right, calm down. His mom is actually here. His mom is here. But also, I feel like his mom, too. I know I also feel like his mom. I just want to be his mom.

I want to like raise a such lovely children. I'm just like, you're just so great and so lovely. Watching him try to be sexy in the practice rehearsals where he's just like, this is just not the real. Oh my God. And we, Barry in the lead, Mr. Fantasy was at Dancing with the Stars. Mr. Fantasy, all the stars are out tonight. Husband did a cartoonish double take when he walked past the television screen, came back, is that Mr. Fantasy was genuinely excited, so let him know that he was genuinely excited to see him.

And I said, yes, because this is Bacock, and Mr. Fantasy is going to be on the Thanksgiving Day parade. And so they're already seeding this. But again, Twitch.com slash Holdenators Ho on Thanksgiving morning, Holden and I are going to be live streaming the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. At 5.30 in the morning hour time. So, yes, if you're like, I'm on the East Coast, there's no way you'd get up that early. We do, and we do start drinking. So at least just have us on in the background

while you're getting up, starting to get things, or if you're just getting up and dreading the rest of the day, come start drinking with us. 5.30 in the morning. It's a blast. It is. It's so fun. They sing Christmas carols.

We never fight with our partners afterwards. I have it in a long time. I've gotten much better at getting drunk at 5.30 in the morning. Thank you very much. I still, I think my favorite memory of, I mean, superseding all my memories of my family on Thanksgiving. I think one of my favorite memories of Thanksgiving is, you don't even remember it. Jackie, is you and Holden, after the parade, drunk as skunks, and you started doing karaoke

Christmas carols, and you were singing, baby, it's cold outside, but you were to each other, and you were just doing like a lot of running commentary about how creepy the song is. And I, oh my God, I laughed so, so hard. If anybody had managed to screenshot that or, you know, get a video of that, please let us know. It is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. You guys should definitely watch the stream. I always try to pop in, do a little morning drinking with the team while we watch the balloons.

It's going to be great. You don't even have to be like a member of Twitch. You don't have to just have it on in the background. I appreciate it and I want to say thank you to everybody that joins us every year because we've been doing this for quite some time. And it's my favorite thing that I do all year, which is saying something. So please come join us. It's my favorite way to kick off my favorite holiday. And for those of you that hate Thanksgiving, maybe this might make you like it because we have a lot of people that don't give a fuck about Thanksgiving, but still get up and join us.

and it's an excuse to start drinking early. Yeah, absolutely. You're drinking with friends. Anyway, sorry, not to just jam that in there in the end, but I'm just so glad you've come full circle with Jordan Childs and realize how much we love her. She's amazing. I mean, we love all of them.

I don't know what we're going to, and I'm so upset that the finale comes out over Thanksgiving break. Right. We won't be able to talk about it until after. Because we won't be able to talk about it. That does. I know. That is really sad. But yeah, so our finalists are Jordan, Dylan, Robert, and Elaine.

And Alex. And Alex, that's right. Yeah. And here we are. I mean, I love the like slow simmering resentment between Carrie Ann Annabba and Derek Huff. I love Julianne Huff's absolute burden the headlights approach to hosting a show. Absolutely everything. I love how many TikTok. I send of Derek and Julianne Huff to Henry, and even though I keep sending them to him,

he keeps saying, no, we're not them, and we try to be them. And I just think that there's space for us, Henry. Yeah, I love the people sending me old clips, like their favorite dances over the years. Oh, my God. There's this one. So when I told Cass that I fell in love with Daniela, I was like, I feel like I'm about to go down a warm time and watch too many videos about Daniela. And Cass was like, you don't need to be a creeper.

just watch this one and she sent me this one with um i i wasn't familiar with the person that daniela was dancing with but it was this Halloween one that i guess like everybody knows about this dance it's with imman shumpert i'm not familiar with this person they do this like but honestly mj i don't think you like it as much because you're not really there for the hallowoiney ones and it's like a yeah i didn't love the hallelujah all creepy but the way in which She, like, holds her body and dances. It's unbelievable. So I just want to say, as always, thank you, Sherpa Cass, and thank you for your guidance,

and thank you for everybody who has written in and said, you know what, guys, we like the Dancing with the Stars conversations. Yes, thank you. And we appreciate them every week, and we're not angry with you for doing them. And I want to say thank you very much because it makes, I appreciated your support. We needed your support because, you know, it's vulnerable getting into. Dancing with the Stars. Yes. Ooh, did you see Jade sent us a video of Mark Ballas and Derek Huff dancing together? No. Oh my God. My fingers, I just reek of old cream now. Sorry, my hand just

went by my face. Is it starting to hit? I smelled old cream. And I was like, oh, no. It's the expired cream. Oh, no, the expired cream. But it's only been a half an hour. What do you mean? No, this is going to be a mind game for me, MJ. I'm not going to get physically sick from it, and I'm not going to keep eating the cream just to show that I'm not going to get physically sick from it. Yeah, I would say stop eating the cream. People always wonder, why do you get food poisoning so often?

Look to things like this, where I'm like, I mean, how sick can you get? And then cuts to me 12 hours later, just like, racked in page. Like, why? Why? is because I don't like to throw food away and I don't like to waste. I understand. Yes, this is tough for those of us

who don't like to waste food, but you know what? You don't need, there is a line that you can... We have to do this. There's a line that you can adhere to. If I don't eat the salted cream, think about all the orphans that don't have the salted cream. I know. I know. I know. But I think that's where we're going to leave it.

Do you have any more thoughts on DWTS before we go? Did I mention that I am going to see it live with my mom. Oh, no. Yeah. Isn't that nice? How did you not say that? We've been talking for two hours.

How have you not said this? I'm seeing it every time they're like, come see us live. I'm like, bitch, I already am. Oh my God. I want to go so badly. And Cass and I were briefly discussing going together, but everything is like sold out. I did. And I texted my mom that you were sad that you don't have anyone to go with.

And my mom just wrote back, that is sad. Well, you're right. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate you and thank you. I did just want to say real fast. I laughed a little bit earlier because I just opened up my email and just up top in the neighborhood.

You know, what is it, the neighborhood watch, the app, one of those. Oh, yeah. And just the headline is, dog rapist got out of jail yesterday. And I, is it the dog or is it a, you know what? We're not going to get, go down that road. Let's just, let's, we're going to finish out this episode. Thank you guys so much. I hope everybody, if you celebrate, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving next week.

And if you don't, come get drunk with us on a fucking Thursday morning. And that's fun too. Coming out with us next Thursday, have, we're going to make it through the holidays, guys. Yes. Yes. We're going to get through it. We're going to get through it. We're not going to.

we're going to maybe fight with our families not as much. Yeah. And we're not going to have, we're not going to be upset. It's not just going to be anxiety. We're going to have a great time. Yeah, we're not going to, as the youth would say, crash out. Or we might crash out, but we we're going to pick ourselves back up and keep

on going. And you crash out and you go into the bathroom and you look yourself in the mirror and you do your breathing exercises and then you leave the bathroom and you continue on with your day. Yes. And we love you guys so much. We are thankful for you. Enjoy our, and so don't worry. week you'll still get two shows. You're going to get your Adams family values watch along

for the Thursday show Thanksgiving. You're going to get, we're going to do parts one and two of our Joan Rivers Celebrities. So if you're not a Patreon and you are curious about more celebrities, we read two of Joan Rivers' books back to back. So we did two separate episodes and April stitching them together as one longer episode. And you can have that next Friday. And if you are a patron, you get to get the whole watchalong like not just our voices, but the whole video, us, you can see us,

you can see us watching. And then you don't have to rent it if you have to rent it. And you don't have to rent it. And you can see us, you can see the movie, you can see us watching the movie, and having a great time. And so you'll still get all your shows next week, but the Jackie and MJ that you're hearing now, the next time you hear us, we will have seen

Wicked in the theater. We will have seen the Dancing with a Starz finale. Oh my God. We're going to be What world will we be in? People, you know, and Jackie will have lived through the food poisoning that she's going to get from the room temperature of whipped cream. That I'm most likely 100% going to get from the whipped cream that Reddit said maybe you might not get sick from. It wasn't weeping. No, I, not a tear in sight.

And we will be back with Natalie Jean. So I guess we'll be talking more Mies, but maybe in a different way. All right. Not in the fun way. We love you guys so much. Have a beautiful rest of your week And you can find me on Instagram at Jack That Worm

You can come hang out Come hang out with our Patreon Patreon.com slash page 7 podcast And again next Thursday We'll see you on Thanksgiving babes MJ Anything?

Let's sing the song Let's sing the song That'll be better Oh, sick a time around Woo! This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them.

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