Page 7 - Second Helpings - Ranch Imperialism

Episode Date: March 20, 2026

This week on Second Helpings, Jackie and MJ are joined by Ed Larson, and there's an announcement about Brighter Side future, Ed and Jackie convinced MJ to watch the "Inside the Manosphere" doc by Louis Theroux and it's a beautiful view into the toxicity of the culture, and HBO Max's hilariously depressing "Neighbors" only has one more episode! Afroman continues to victory lap following the bogus 2022 raid and winning a recent defamation lawsuit, the Buffy reboot has been axed by the network, but Scrubs reboot is here to remain, much like the rumor that Zach Braff is dating an AI chatbot. Julia Fox had to give a dissertation on the movie "If I Had Legs I'd Kick You" because Vanity Fair hired an "influencer" who just wanted to talk about how annoying the kid was. BWW's has an Espresso Proteini abomination they are threatening to unleash on us all, Hidden Valley Ranch is callin' on ranchheads to spread ranch far and wide by traveling abroad and eatin' ranch on everything in front of everyone, and Taco Bell comin' out with an edible hot sauce packet, then Ed gets tips on how to travel with Holden, plus even more on this week's Second Helpings! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

But I want a lawsuit. I was going to get up and find a room, but I want a lawsuit. My room is still messed up, but I want a lawsuit. Because I want a lawsuit. I want a lawsuit. This episode goes out to Afro-Man. But also, it goes out to one Ed Larson, who is joining us for an episode of Second Helpings today. Welcome, welcome, Ed Larson.

Hello. Eddie, the amazing host of... of the last podcast on the left as well as Brighter Side, but also, alert, alert, we've got some new stuff going on at Brighter Side. Thank you. Give me my news alert. Give me my news alert. But it's not as scary as all the other news that you're currently hearing.

This news is actually exciting. News alert is inherently upsetting these days. I know, you're right. You're right. I'm sorry, MJ. I'm sorry. It's a snooze alert. I apologize.

It's a snoo alert. Everybody go back to sleep. No, don't. No, to wake up, Eddie. Wake up. It's time to listen to Friderside. And it's because it's got two. two new rotating co-hosts.

That's right. I'm doing every other week at the Brighter Side now. We have Julie Rosen, my wonderful wife, and Ashley Book Roberts are coming in every other week to hang out with Amber on Brighter Side.

That's great. The audience has been fucking loving it. We've been doing it actually. We've been like secretly doing it for like a couple months. Whoa, but not secretly outwardly because everybody can hear it.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's like, here's been an announcement. We just been doing it. Yes, this is the announcement. This is the official announcement. Yeah, we took pictures together and everything.

They adopted. They were officially adopted. Everybody, they found a home. It's happy gotcha day. Julie and Ashley. Yeah. So, yeah, so there's like two noon last podcast shows that I got to do. And so I was getting burnt out and I'm like, I love the brighter side.

I don't want anything to happen to it. And so I had Julie and Ashley just fill in for me one time because I was like exhausted. And then they fucking crushed it. And everyone was like, this is amazing. I'm like, oh, come back. All right. Come on back. And now four months later, we're like, you know what?

Permanent. Wow. They're on the gusto. They're on the payroll and everything. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Even paying taxes on it. Wow. That's how you know it's for real. Once they start ripping their money out of their hands. Now, speaking of ripping something out of somebody's, what? Yeah, I'm talking about Peter Gallagher. Why am I talking about Peter Gallagher? Because Ed just said to me that, number one, Ed doesn't remember who Peter Gallagher is,

because I was losing my mind. Because earlier, when I was sitting here working, it's early in the morning, our engineer, Adam, amazing friend, best friend Adam, comes in. Knows everything. And it was just like, oh, my God. I just saw Peter Gallagher in our parking lot. And I said, and I almost, I thought I was going to rip through, like, cartoonishly, like Wiley Coyote. I thought I was going to rip through the walls of the studio to go run out into the parking lot. But he was already gone.

But Eddie, Peter Gallagher, he's a heartbrough of the 90s. I'm looking at his IMDB right now. The father of the OC. What about Titanic? He's in Titanic. He didn't remember what he was in Titanic. I don't remember. Yeah, they all look the same in Titanic.

He's in great. You didn't watch Grace and Frank. Yeah, I didn't watch Grace. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is an opportunity that I have to seize on because Eddie is. Center stage. Oh my God.

He's all stuff I would have never seen. It's all California. haunted hill. You are always in the role of the person who has heard more and seen more than me. And so I'm really seizing this opportunity to be like, you don't know Peter Gallagher. I'm sorry, I think this is mostly because MJ and I are the age that we are and the fact that we both enjoy the sexual looks of a Peter Gallagher.

He was in Titanic, the miniseries. Yeah, the best part, the one everybody's always talking about. I don't think he was in Titanic the movie. I like that it says it on the top of his billing Titanic. And no, no, it was the mini series. Yeah, what do we even make that shit for? Now I'm like, look, I know Peter Gallagher is, but I'm looking at his body of work. And now I'm like, what do I know Peter Gallagher from?

It's because he has been the hot guy. The hot things. Sex lies in videotape seems like where he got started. He has been in so many things. I feel like Peter, I guarantee you how many people that are listening right now. I literally thought it was like an oasis brother. No. That's all of those Gallagher.

You think I would be like excited about an oasis person in the parking lot. I'd be like, I don't know who they are. And then everybody else would be upset with me. Then that's a whole other faction. But you know, I just wanted to. I was more surprised just because honestly, and I'm going to throw Peter Gallagher under the bus. Sorry, I bet he can hear me from here. I think he wasn't in the greatest of movies.

No, no, it seems like, yeah, like everyone kind of took it, like, what's his name? Like, Dermott Mulroney took his career. He occupies a similar, no, that's fair. Dermit Morrow. Get his name out of your mouth. Dermin Mollone and Peter Gallagher are interchangeable as actors. How dare you both? You're both breaking my heart right now.

No, it's real. I'm literally looking at all of these shows that I'm like, I didn't watch that. I didn't even watch the OC, but I think that it was the, commercials. I saw the commercials for the OC. Oh, yeah. And he was hot dad in it. And I just remember wanting to always kiss Peter Gallagher way more than I wanted to kiss

any of them, except for, you know, Mijibart never once in a while. But we... What's the difference between Mulrani and Dylan McDermott? You know, they're like the same person, too, right? How do you? How, I mean, this hurts, too. It also, it also hurts. I understand. It's like a Peter

to Mulroney to McDermin. to McDermott sliding scale. You're talking about Steel Magnolias versus my best friend's wedding. We're talking, no, you're talking about they are two of the upper echelons of mid-level rom-dums

that we love. But I could say, like, if you like, if you like, was that Dylan or? No, I guess. If you had a sketch artist, if you were trying to describe whether one of these men had committed

a crime against you and you're describing them to a sketch artist, when they do, Lickr, McDermott. One of them, ah! The guy with the watermelons. Which is funny because

MJ and I do refer to most of the love interest on Desperate Housewives that were watching over on the Patreon as White Man A, white man B, because they really do all look vaguely exactly the same,

just kind of mid-level, ruggedly handsome, and just like, you know, they can read the lines, and they are doing it. Yeah. But it is, you get a little bit of the blindness every once in a while. Oh, man.

No one's the worst. like this is coming from like a man a war movie. I never could tell the difference between the actors in a war movie. Yeah. We went saw warfare like I was just like these are the same guy. Yeah. I think it'd be Puerto Rican, they could be white.

These are all the same things. They're all the same one. I can't tell the difference. Depending on their traumas. They're all covered in soot and they got shaved heads. They all have different traumas. What am I supposed to do here? I don't know guys. It sounds like you're saying a lot of things against men right now and I think that the people I think you are war racist.

And I think that men, you know, men are obviously having a really hard time right now, right? I think the men featured in the, I'm going to keep calling it into the manosphere, like into the spiderverse. That's what I thought it was called. I think it's inside the manosphere, inside the manosphere that I did watch this morning by Louis Theroux who. Inside, yeah. Inside the manosphere. I paid a little extra and I went and saw it at the sphere. And it was really upsetting.

It was a man all around. Surrounded by dangerous. Manor spheres fear. It was pretty cool. I wouldn't want to see them that big. Oh my God. Now, for those that don't know, we are talking about Louis Thoreau's

inside the manosphere. It is available on the evil Netflix. But it is, you know, it is beautiful in its evilness. You know, I think it is there's lots of beauty. There's beauty in the evil, Eddie. They didn't buy Paramount. Yeah, you're right.

Not yet. They weren't given the opportunity. Or they didn't have enough money. No, they chose not to because they didn't need it because of the podcast being so successful. Ah, that's what it is. The podcast inside is so successful. I just want to contextualize for a moment. Louis Theroux, who is like a British journalist that has made a bunch of things,

but maybe most notably known for the freestyle rap jiggle jiggle, the TikTok viral clip of my money don't jiggle, it folds. That's Louis Theru. freestyling. Really? Yes. And I just think that's very fun context for like these very serious documentaries that he makes. Although this documentary, I was like, oh, I don't want to watch this.

But Eddie and Jackie watched it, so I'll watch it. And I do think it's actually, it's like, it's not fun because the people in it are awful and he's interviewing. I had a fun. I was kind of fun. Yeah, I had fun because it was just him talking to them like they were human beings and they couldn't handle it. And they couldn't even handle it because he really was treating them with respect, trying to genuinely talk to them trying to genuinely. And they were also, just so funny because they all, I feel like they treated it as if they're like,

yeah, we know that this is going to be like a cut piece. Yeah, we know that this is going to be. So like, we're smarter than you. See, we're with 10 steps ahead of you. And they still couldn't even possibly think around or towards this man. Like he's so above where they. are and ever could be because also honestly MJ same because I was at first I was like I don't need to see a whole movie about these fucks yeah but it did open up so much honestly as someone as someone that didn't know a lot about and you know obviously we hear for people that are wondering this is about like the world so apparently it's like it's going into the world of extreme online influencers and content creators who are redefining quote modern masculinity um they examine the appeal of these ideas and attitudes and how these figures are influencing young men's values.

The thing is that the young wannabes basically. Right, exactly. And young men are flocking to these toxic people like they are getting paid to do it because all of their stuff is just like, yeah, you want to be like me? Because I got all these money and all these bitches. And it's just like, all right, well, you know that that's not the way. But then you talk to the people that like they were talking to people on the street about how they feel about.

the influencers and I found all of that really fascinating. That was sadder to me. It was the people who, like the regular people who were obsessed with them. We were obsessed with them. Yeah. That was the saddest part. But yeah. Because these dudes like choosing to be fuckheads because they're just like influencers.

Like I kind of half feel that about all influencers. No offense to us in the room. But the, uh, but the, they did that. You know, I'm like, well, if you're going to take that angle, go screw. And the best part about it was, he didn't it wasn't gotcha journalism and they kept saying it was gotcha journalism but it was just like he interviewed them they answered and then he repeated their answers back to them and they were like whoa are you trapped me that's all it was but i think that what is so interesting about i think that i like louis through's approach so much because i was like what can like come of this like we all know about these guys we know about the manosphere we we know i think a lot of people didn't know exactly how deep it ran like i don't know if people knew how much how popular it is. But also...

It's so annoying. Yes. How popular it is, how bad it is. I think he does shine light on that. But to me, the most interesting thing that he does, and it's because I think he is such a, like, disarming host. And when he's talking to them is that he basically gets them to admit that they are just doing it for money.

And, like, yes, they are also, like, they also do hold many of these values. But, like, to me, the biggest takeaway and the reason to me that the documentary is successful is because it just shows them as great. grifters. Like, like, yeah, they're misogynists and they're homophobes and they're racist. But more than anything, they're just grifters. Yep. Like exposing them as grifters is valuable. Yes. One of those things where it's like, they're only saying it because it's selling. And if they figured out a different thing to say and that would sell, they would probably do that. Of course they would. You know, because they're not what they are. They're just fucking posers no matter what lane they go in.

And it's so, man, my favorite was what every single time he talked to one of their girlfriends. And And he just explained to them what like they just said and shit. And they're like, well, you know, I don't really, I think it'll change eventually. He's like, he says it won't. He says it won't. Yeah. And they all break up by the end of it and shit. Like, it's great.

It was phenomenal. Yeah. That part of it at least, because, and to show that they are just like repeating the same things over. It's just these like these little bites that they have of them saying. And it's just so crazy to me that I know that, you know, there's. a cult for every brain out there. I do understand that. It's just the people that this is reaching, it is becoming so dangerous because they're all so

young. They're so young and they're so vulnerable. And yes, I had great empathy for especially that guy in the beginning who is talking about how he like lives and dies by that HS influencer. And he was like, H.S. Tiki toki. Oh, my God.

Come on. You can't think of anything else. He's tiki-talkie. You're supposed to be the big, scary man, I'm afraid of. Sounds like a robot named itself. Maybe you should pick a different manned robot. I don't know. What they're doing is so obviously just exploiting.

It's like they claim to be like the voice for men. And obviously what they're doing is just exploiting really vulnerable young men. And they talk to this young man who's just like, you know, I've like, I've gone through trauma. I've lost family members. I've been homeless and like they're telling me how to be strong and how to be rich. And it's just like it's so devastating because like you said, Ed, if somebody else could message these guys and figure out how to monetize it because that's the world we live in but message them with a less toxic message, this is obviously like,

I don't think that these men who are influenced by this are born evil, right? Like they're being swayed by this. And to anything that could be done to kind of like poke a little hole in the illusion of these guys's power, I feel like is good. And it's also very funny because he's producing an edited documentary. And as he's producing an edited documentary, they're all live streamers. And so they're like live streaming the him making the doing the documentary interviews. And they're like, we got you, man.

You do edits like a pussy. And we do it live. We do it live. It's like, oh, I have the intelligence to make a better show. Yeah. That's what I do. You just put on a camera and let it go. Yeah.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Oh, you know, it's like there is talent in all things. Those men just haven't found it yet, you know? They do have a talent for just screaming bullshit and just and riling people up and just putting more hate into this world, which is, oh, gosh, that's exactly what we mean. Oh, thank you so much for it. A little all go, man, I saw this kid, I was in Indianapolis last weekend with Henry and we saw this kid in the airport.

He had a, he had a, he's 12 years old, maga hat, Charlie Kirk T-shirt. Oh, yeah, yeah, you know. And literally I saw him and I just like, I couldn't help myself. I was like, ah! And he was laughed right in his face. It just fell out of my lap. He was pointing at that shot. Yeah.

This kid's never getting laid. This kid doesn't have a chance. Unfortunately, he is getting laid. That's the fucking problem, Ed. I don't know. And, you know, Lord knows how or and what he's doing to get it to happen. But, you know, he probably is. Their bread and butter is kids who can't get laid.

And that's what they fucking sit there and blame it on everybody. You know? because they don't know how to talk to women and they just know how to fucking be awful. And that's what they do over there. Or for kids that age, you know, this also reminds me of the most recent episode of Neighbors, which I know that Eddie, you are also watching, where two of the people are feuding and they're feuding about Halloween decorations, but also one of them is a Trump guy and has covered his entire front house in Trump signs.

And he's like super hateful and bigoted. And then the other guy is not a Trump guy. But the two neighbors kids love to play together. which is the sweetest thing where I'm like, oh, you guys are in this, like the top, the surface level is a Halloween decorations flame war, right beneath that is what is obviously a political flame war. And then you see these, like, the kids are just like,

all the adults are like letting them play because they're like, well, the kids love to play together. They love to play together. They are still neighbors at the end of the day. That is the, like, the heartwarming part of it. For sure, yes. And it's so funny because I was watching that and, you know, spoiler alert, like when the,

when the one guy is like kind of like taking the other guy's ideas and using him on his lawn, I'm like, man, that's kind of fucked up. And then I saw that he like, and then they cut, they're like, because you start feeling empathy for that guy. And then they're like, they show the Trump shit. Oh, fuck him. Yeah. Yes. Go get fucked. Yes.

No, immediately how fast it turned. But that show, Neighbors is. It's really well made. Wow, it's really well made. I am upset that I'm already upset that the show is going to end. You know, it's one of those, like, while you're watching it, I'm already sad that it's going to be over. It is, because I feel like at first I was like, oh,

because the first episode I felt like, I was like, there was no mediation, really, there was nothing. And I was like, oh, is this just people screaming at each other? While I'm fascinated by this, I don't know if I need this right now. Right. But every episode really is filled with such characters. Yes. And it is so well made, so well produced that it is,

you're just wrapped up in their world in just a half an hour. You get really wrapped up. And that is great TV making. And there's often no, there's almost, the only clear, like, villain and hero was the Trump guy. And it was just because of the Trump flag. Like, they do a great job of making it ambiguous where you're like, I think I hate both of these people. They're always both a nightmare. Yeah, they're both awful.

And, like, I may be rooting for both of them in a way too. Like, they do a great job with the ambiguity of like, here's two terrible people in a fight. And then, yeah, the Trump flag was, I was actually surprised that they included it because it puts such a thumb on the scale of who to root for, you know? Oh, my God. Well, it depends on who we are. Yeah, man. Some people are, I think everyone's watching neighbors. I'm sure there are other people being like, they're just hate him because he's a truck in L.A.

Exactly. Exactly. So it really. It plays it perfectly. It's all across, but you're right, because the show itself does not alienate him or, or throw shit at him for being a Trump or either. They take no sides. They just show it. Yeah.

And he's very proud of his, you know, he's the one that's doing all the shit. Feel bad because I showed you holding the flag that you're holding? Man. Man. And you know who I don't feel bad for? Who? The police in the lawsuit against Afro-Man. Yes, we are here today to celebrate a true hero of our nation, Afro-Man.

And yeah, that's why at the top I was singing because I got high and I was singing it too, but I want a lawsuit. because we are talking about Afro-Man. If you remember, yes, the Afro-Man. The best way to come back. Yes. So there was, so essentially there was a raid on Afro-Man's house in 2022. The raid, they had a search warrant. There was a raid because they had a tip alleging drug trafficking and kidnapping.

So the police come in, they destroy his home. They rip out the fence. They rip through the door. They're like, they're holding AR-15s to his kids. He's the friendliest looking dude you'd ever see. Yes. And it was horrific. And they found nothing.

No charges were ever filed. So what did Afro Man do? He took the home security camera, the footage that they also had cut when they come in later on. So he took the home security camera footage that he had. And he turned it into music videos. Songs like Lemon Poundcake, songs like, will you help me repair my door? With footage of them destroying his home. and he said, he's like, I was trying to raise the money to fix what they destroyed. And then

the cops decided to sue Afro-Man for defamation. Because he was using the videos. The videos of his footage. Yeah. Of them doing this. And so their claims defamation, invasion of privacy, emotional distress and misuse of their likenesses. Oh, please. But where the real meat of what I got lost in yesterday was I'm going to really botch all of this. And I do kind of wish Jeff was here because he's so much better at explaining things like this to me. He was explaining there's this whole thing essentially called like a small penis clause that they talk about in like writers and stuff like that that when you're writing something about a person that like you, they are kind of like based on them or you're writing about them. You include that the

character has a small penis. Yeah. Because it would oftentimes keep someone from being like, that character's based on me. That character was a small penis is based on me. And so they do it as a way to keep people from going after them. And it's like an easy way to keep people further away. And, um... Edwig and the Angry Hog.

Whoa. Very different. Very, very different show. Now, in this trial, it's so funny because they're, so. With the defamation, part of it is like having, like, people are now going to think things that they don't know about you because of his music. And one of the songs is Afro-Man singing about how he fucked one of the deputy's wives. And it is very, very funny. So this deputy is on trial.

And so they had to ask and they're like, and the prosecutor was just essentially like, so you're saying that people don't. know if your wife and Afro-Man have consummated a relationship. And he's like, I don't know. They don't know that. And just like this like, like, so you're just like trapping him and saying, putting it in writing. Like, oh, they're reading through the lyrics of wet ass pussy. Oh my God. Also, Afro-man's defense, they had one of the deputies ex-wives up for Afro-Man's defense.

and they were reading out the lyrics of wet-ass pussy to show essentially that like, just because you hear something in a song doesn't mean that it's true. And so reading out explanations of wet-ass pussy and being like, did you think, he said, Megan Three Stallion has this? And like, he's saying that like genuinely,

like it was so, the footage is so funny. And it just continued. And like these cops, it's just, again father was a police officer I do say this with many grains of salt but these ones were bad ones you need to be held accountable

and then it's just like them crying in the court and cry and it's like you did this you did this and nothing happened because of it and you should lose and they did they fucking lost Afro man won and I and now he's all of his footage is him just

putting out even more music. Of course. I hope this, like, blows up even further. It's the first success you've seen in 20 years. I know. When was the last time you thought? When Jeff brought this up yesterday, I was like, wait, Afro-Man, Afro-Man. He's like, Afro-Man, Afro-Man.

I was like, wow. I, this whole thing had got, like, passed me by, and I think I've just been in another and it was like, my algorithm did not have this song on it before, and you're welcome, everyone, because now it's going to be on all of your algorithms. as well. I'm gonna blow it up. The lemon pound cake was, it was just because at one point,

one of the cops, like, he's like staring at a lemon pound cake on his, on his counter, and he's like, you know you wanna take a sauce a little bit of a bagh

and then I got high, but I'm just singing it to me too. Yeah, yeah, but the songs are very good. He was writing the whole time the cops were in his house. Oh, man.

Well, no, he was scared for his wife and his fucking kids. Yeah. But it was, because like, all the footage is very,

it is very aggressive and it is very scary. And like he, he and his family were terrorized. And I'm so, this is not something, I don't think a lot. And also, Averman won completely.

They rejected all the claims of the police officers. So it is, this is like a big, this is a win for us, guys. Think about how many people these cops did that too before this happened. 100% this is what they do. Like if they raid your house,

they don't fix it. No, I don't fix anything. They don't give them money to fix it. Right. They could give a shit. Yeah. They shot our dog when they raided our house. They could give a fog.

They could give a shit. Yeah. And so this is, you know, we're not seeing lots of wins. Yeah. Maryfield. So I feel like we have to, like, I was like, we needed Afro-Man. I think we all needed this win. I think that, like, if he had lost, I don't, you know, I feel like it's just, we just needed a win.

We needed a smile. I feel like if he would have lost, it could have gotten, like, riotous. Yeah. It's one of those. It's too funny for him to lose. And I think that the jury, thank God,

I think they knew that. I think it was, like, it is just too funny that, and it is just a satire. Yeah. It's just mocking you. It's just,

you're, that's it. And you did it. He was an innocent man who sat in his house and you fucked with him. And you fucked with him. You,

oh my God. I just, and now seeing him at all, like, He's got this crazy like Americana suit. He put out this. He's going to get nominated for a Grammy. I know.

This is it. This is it. I hope this is a whole start over for Afro-Man. I hope that now we like Afro-Man becomes a household name again. I think that this is going to be it, guys. Yeah. I can feel it. I'm so excited for it.

I love you Afro-Man. I love you Afro-Man. I'm also sorry, Eddie, but we have to bring this up. I love you, Buffy. Buffy. Oh. Buffy. Eddie, M.J. and I

have been on a journey on our Patreon over like the last year and a half of watching Buffy for the first time. We have gone from being like, this is a really great monster of the week show to now we are in the end of season six. We're crying every episode. This is what, like, we get why.

Shout out Seth Green. Oh, my. Well, yo. He's the best. Love you, Seth. Did you ever watch it? I watched a little bit. I watched him.

here and there. Okay, all right. Back in the day. I was more of a fan of the movie, but I did watch the show here and there. And it really is. It's one of those shows that I completely understand why there are still conventions for it. I understand why.

I get it. We are fully, fully in. We were so excited about this Buffy reboot. Yeah. I think the entire world was excited about the Buffy reboot. And it has been canceled. It is not going forward anymore.

Sarah Michelle Geller was working on it with, Chloe Zhao over at Hulu and it has now been cancelled and there's a lot of speak from Sarah Michelle Geller herself. She's mad about it. She's pissed. She's been out for a while

she hasn't done shit. No man and she is pissed and she said specifically there was one Hulu exec that kept saying that was like for those of you that aren't aware like usually when you're pitching a show when you're selling a show you're usually working one-on-one with like one exec or like a little group that is like championing your show. This exec had never seen the original Buffy, didn't give a shit about it, definitely didn't really

understand why everyone liked it so much, but I guess you could do it. And that's who ended up putting the kibosh on it. Even though the fervor online was insane for it. And it's been thrown in the garbage. This got lumped in. I saw people being like lumping this, lumping the Buffy remake in with kind of like nostalgia slop. And it is true that there are too many reboots. There's been a lot of that shit, right. Correct.

Like we think everyone's getting fatigued. Yeah. And that's and like that is fair. And I also, I feel like for years on page seven, we've been like, are they making anything new? Anything new? Yeah. Everything is just a reboot from the 90s.

And so that skepticism of nostalgia slop I think is very valid. I think that I just, I think it's a miscalculation with this particular show because a, the source material is so good and B, the cast is so good and Sarah Michelle Geller is so good and Chloe Zhao is so good. So like that's, if this was a correction, I don't, that's, I saw people saying, oh, well, this is just like, yeah, good, say no to nostalgia slap. And it doesn't seem like that's what this is. It seems like this was Hulu execs turning something, turning down an actual good idea for, for, for why. I don't, I don't know. Here's what I think. I think that since Hulu is mostly owned by Disney

so this is like a Disney thing and there's been a lot of turnover at Disney lately we had a brand new CEO literally started this week Josh tomorrow started and there's a lot of people switching over a lot of people changing you know and this Buffy thing

I will say what if it sucked like what if it was really bad everybody was so upset what would have been working because it's not off the table you're right They're saying that it could come back in a different way.

And so what if it was trash? Because the only reason I say this is because there was a pilot already out. So they had a pilot. So what if that sucks? I love Chloe Zal. Hamnet, awesome. Nomadland fucking unbelievable. Eternals, they lost about $500 million on that movie.

She's not a marvel. Well, Buffy is more Eternals than it is Hamnet. Well, also. And so what? And so I think this new exec's coming in and be like, how much are we going to dump in this failure? Right when we're starting our new careers. You are right. Eddie, because there was rumblings of like the style of her directing and that it was more like photojournalistic in a way.

So there's also part of the conversation is was the pilot just not good? Yeah. And there is that side of it too. and we might never know We'll never see it They'll never show it to us They'll never show it It'll go the Supergirl route

And well it'll just go They'll eat it And like get tax refunds on it And then they may try again Because you know why I think they'll try again Is because Ready or Not Too comes out this week Yes And Sarah Michelle Geller is fucking awesome in it

I watched it Oh you already saw it? I already saw it yeah Yeah yeah We interview with the directors It comes out this week But yeah no it was it was really great And she was incredible came out of nowhere

so I think that she's actually going to get a little push from this. Oh, I mean, I think she's getting a big old push from this. I could see, and then all of this, I could see it coming back with a new director. I can see it. I'm so surprised by that, but maybe it's just because Chloe's I was really having a moment right now because of Hamnet. But you're right, Buffy and Hamnet, two different styles. Yeah, two completely different styles. And like, I mean, Eternals, like, I should have loved that.

Kumel and Salma Hayek and in a fucking Marvel movie. you know like this should have been like my favorite movie I saw it I tried to convince myself that I liked and it was bad you know it was just it wasn't good In fact I forgot that one was the one with Kumail in it I knew that Kumail was in one and I for I did see that one I kind of forgot about it

Yeah no so it's that's my personal Not that Kumail you were wonderful You were great Kumail All the time and it ain't his fault He's so happy to be in it He got all buff for it Yeah man But I will I think that

She is an amazing director when she makes Hamnet and Nomadland. Yes. And I think that might be our problem here. And, you know, I hate to tell someone to stay in their lane, especially a woman of color. But I just don't think this. Eddie, good self-awareness.

I appreciate it. Thank you. But I think that she really nails one thing and then she might not nail the other. And it's just, and it's a very expensive thing to miss, whereas like, nomad land costs 20 bucks to make. You know, so if that's a miss, you know, like, It's no big deal.

Yeah. Interesting. You know, and you're making Buffy the Vampire Slayer the series for Hulu, they're going to be throwing hundreds of millions of dollars at it. And if it sucks, they're fucked on their first project as a new CEO. Like, I don't know. It's just like, yeah, yeah. It's a lot.

Yeah, yeah. And it's different than like, like, I'm thinking about the Fuller House reboot, which was like, weirdly a big success. But Full House as an original text was like Schlocky and corny. and so having like a schlucky corny, like, mid reboot was fine, and it was very successful because of the nostalgia. And but, but Buffy is like considered a work of art and like a kind of like flawless text to which people have referred back for decades except for season six episode 19. And, um, and so don't, MJ, I almost see. Episode 19 broke us. We're broken. We're forever broken.

We're fresh on the mind. I almost put on my spike shirt today and I was like, can I not? wear my spikes shirt anymore. But we're not talking about that. We're not talking about us being decimated by Buffy. Really, Eddie. I think this is for the best. This is the brighter side. Put my brighter side hat on. Thank you. Thank you. Right. And I think that this is for the best. I think we're going to get a better Buffy down the road. Yeah. That's what I think. So I hope you're right. Because I tell you, the reboots keep booting out there. And as somebody. Seth Grinch had directed. He's an amazing director. Ooh. Maybe they could bring you. Oh my God. If they brought an Oz and then Oz is also in it. Oh my

please, MJ lost their minds for Oz. I did. Right, you're still in Oz, aren't you? Uh, yeah, I mean, Oz is, you know, with Oz, it's like, it's like, do I want to kiss him or like, am I him? That was exactly who I wanted to be. I was like, I thought you were talking about the prison HBO show. No, don't worry. I can't believe MJ is watching Oz.

No, I have watched Oz. I have watched, I have watched several seasons of Oz and then we had to stop because it was too intense. But no, Oz and Buffy, it's a, it's a, I want to kiss him and I want to be him situation. I get that. It happens. It happens when you're non-binary, okay? I understand it happens when you're bisexual as well. And I get it. I don't know if I want to be him, if I want to kiss him. Or is it all of the above? And that is not my answer when referencing Zach Brath. And even though my 16-year-old self would probably be very upset that I said that, I have been watching the, the reboot of Scrubs. I did not grow up with Scrubs.

Yeah, I did not. I am married to a Scrubsist. And who really, really loved Scrubs back of the day. So I've watched Scru. Like, it's one of the shows that, like, I see episodes of every once and a while. It plays in front of you. It exists in my life. And I've been watching the reboot.

But it is another one of those where I know that, like, Scrubs is one of those that, like, like the pit, even though you could never, ever compare. It was one of the few ones that back in the day, I guess people were like, that's as close as I've seen on television. Like, it's closer to what it's like than even like a Graze Anatomy or a Grey's Anatomy or stuff like that. So in this reboot, it does, it's been intrigued. If you like Scrubs, you're going to like a scrub reboot. It's a same. It's the same people.

It is, it's, but what I enjoy most about all of this Scrubs reboot is this conversation that for some reason there was a conspiracy. theory going around that Zach Braff was dating an AI chat bot and he I just I love conspiracy theories like this because like we're never like maybe he does like me fucking does

but like you know that he's just getting hit up hit up hit up and then he finally had to issue a statement to be like I am embarrassed I am not dating an AI chat bot please what do people think of me.

Well, that's what this. Because everyone's like, oh, he's dumb enough to do it. We remember Garden State. So, I mean, if he was making Garden State, I bet. Yeah, we think you're kind of a loser. And you dated Florence Pugh, which he was 20 years younger than you. And it was weird. And so, yes, we do think that you're dating an AI chat bot.

But it's such a great, it's like an elementary school rumor where it's like you can't, you have to prove a negative. Like, I, I heard that it is. You know, and like, how do I, how do I disprove this? You know, like, getting the rib removed. I feel like it is up there with getting the rib removed. Of like, prove it. Prove you can't suck your own dick and how to remove.

You know? And it's just like, oh, I guess. That's me trying to suck my own dick. I just love anyone that gets annoyed to a point of having to come out to say something like this. Yeah. Yeah. I honestly, the thing that I found interesting about the story was it came out on Jenny

Slate and Maxelvestri's podcast. And Zach Braff, I mean, we all know, like, they used to have that show Big Terrific down in the village, which is like basically on the same street Garden State was filmed on. And he would like show up to their show. So they like kind of know him

in a weird way. You know, like they like, it's like from back in the day. Like they're like, like, old like associates or kind of friends. For the same time, if someone from back then was like, oh, Jackie Zabrowski, Oh, I bet she, you know, X, Y, Z. We haven't seen anyone at 15 years.

That's why we don't talk to anyone from our past. Never remember, never grow. Occasionally, we find out about someone, you're like, oh, wow, they went fucking nuts. Oh, nothing. Other times, you know, with all of the years of history we have with comedy, Max Silvestri was also on this podcast where they made this discovery about Zach Brath. And he was also, you know, with Big Terrific. And I just finished, I Love L.A.

And when I saw Max Silvestri's name on the screen, I screamed, Max Silvestri. And Gideon was like, what just happened? Who is, like, why? I was like, he used to do a show in Williamsburg. It was so good. I'm so happy for him. I love L.A. is so good.

You know, Marcus used to run tech for that show. Really? Oh, my God. That's so funny. That's how long ago all of this one. Man. He was the tech guy for the live show. Oh, my God.

It was a great show. Yeah. It was a great show. It was always a great show. It was a cool venue with the room was great. We murder fist did it once with us. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. It was a wild, it was always, you felt really cool doing it because it was like a special place. Yeah. Because it was like where like, you know, Zach Galafica would show up and do a set. And you know, Pat and Oswald. It was like a special thing for $5. We'd all see our heroes, you know. And now sure enough, we knew those people were going to be famous and sure enough, now they're famous.

Yep. Absolutely. It's just why. It's wonderful to watch people that you enjoy, get, you know, get more and, you and grow and learn. And honestly, last year, MJ and I read

Julia Fox's biography. Yeah. And it really, we went from being like, oh, Julia Foxx, she's just like. Kanye's girlfriend.

That's how I understood. And then we kind of, we fell in love with her. We were like, oh, we get it. We got, like,

it was, we got wrapped up. A fantastic book. She's had a fascinating life. The way that she, like, writes about it, the way that she gets into it,

It really is, I'm not saying that like, and we stand her and we love her. It's just, she's, I'm fascinated by her. People are allowed to fucking grow. Yes. And I'm so sick of us not letting people grow. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Just because you sucked at one point doesn't mean you can't become a better person. God forbid.

The book also really explains and sheds a lot of light of why she has made the choices she has made. And it is because of a lot of the trauma that she's been through. But this is, she was talking, she was one of the hosts, Julia Fox is one of the hosts of the 2026. Vanity Fair Oscar party. She was also co-hosting with Jake Shane and Quinn Blackwell. And Jake Shane, Gwen Blackwell, two influencers. Julie Fox also, you know, is an influence. I mean, she's a multi-hyphi.

She's a many things. I don't think of her as an influencer with the same disdain. I think of like... Because she's an actress. Right. Correct. Yeah. And these influencers, I think what this, what we're about to talk about shows is that...

Also, she's like an it girl, too. Like, there's like skills that you need. to like do a hosting job like this. And I, and no shade to influencers, not all influencers, have those skills. Have those skills. They don't have it. They're just jibber-jabbers. Right.

You don't fucking know. Exactly. It's a skill. Ryan Sechrist has a skill whether you want to admit it or not. It's a skill. It is definitely a skill. And whether or not that skill is just being so bland that everything else pops around you. And that is, I think, Ryan Seacrest's main MO.

But, Eddie, did you watch, if I had a little, legs, I'd kick you. No, I didn't, but I know what it is. Oh, man. MJ, did you ever end up watching it? I think I told you not to watch it. Yeah, you did, but I'm gonna. I've, after seeing her at the Oscars and seeing the trailers, I was just like, oh yeah, I love her. I want to watch this. So I'm, I am gonna watch it. Yeah, Roseburn's cool. Yeah. I fell in love with Roseburn. And honestly, it got me to watch Platonic, which is the show that she in. Surprisingly good. Surprisingly good. surprisingly good. I never in a million years would put that show on.

I also hate those type of shows. And I loved it. And I loved the two of them together. And I was like, I'm, I am a Berniac through and through. And if I had legs, I'd kick you,

I think I've brought up almost every show since I watched it. It really, and I'm not even a parent. And I was, oh my God, she's really, really good in it. And it is about...

A parent. I thought you said parent. And I was like, what are you talking about? Parrot? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was like,

what did you talk about? Well, ah! Oh, God! Oh, no, I forgot to tell you guys. I'm changing. While I am a parrot, I'm not a parent. But Julia Fox is, and Julia Fox is a single mother to a five-year-old son. And one of... Is it a Kanye's kid?

No. Okay. No. Good to know. Yeah, yeah. We're both like, no, no, no, no. She, so essentially, she had said, if I had legs, I kick you, wow, every mother's story. And Jake Shane immediately said, oh, do you think the kid was annoying?

Oh, that kid was so annoying. And for those that haven't seen it, it's all from like you're only, you never see the kid. And it is all about like, because part of it is how in parenthood you get lost and and you're not you anymore and you don't know who you are anymore. And it's so it only shows her. Cool. And it is so, so I believe that Jake Shane is more like, oh, it's like, oh, it's from the backgrounds like, oh, the kid's probably annoying because the kid's sick all the time.

The kids know, like, that's annoying. And Julia Fox immediately was like, no, I wouldn't say that. There were issues. And she was like, the kid was annoying because of the mom. And then she said, can I tell you something? It's not that it's the mother's fault or the child's. It's society's fault. It sets mothers up to fail.

Even the fact that, like, school gets out at three, but most jobs are done at five or six. It was drove me crazy. All those little things are positioned to just, are not conducive. to mothering. And Jake Shane just kept being like, oh, but the kid wasn't no. And she just kept pushing back to be like, no. I'm not going to sit here and be on camera and let you do that. And do that.

You're not, you don't understand. Props to Julia Fox for, A, like, being willing to, like, not just do the influencer. Go like, yeah, totally. Uh, totally. Like, she actually, like, said something of substance and, and push back on him, even though they're all, like, supposed to just be, like, having a romp because he said something really stupid and misunderstanding of the movie. And she not only corrected him, but also props to Julia Fox for knowing what time most

jobs get out, even though she's never had a nine to five. Because many celebrities always put their foot in their mouth when they try to talk about what normal life is like, because they have no idea. So at the same time, she was really neglected as a child. She does know about neglect. She definitely knows about neglect through and through. I'd be at after school till like 6.6.30 waiting for my parents. Just waiting.

Yeah, you pick me up. I would just sit there. Be the only kid left. You know, that shit's tough. Of course. And like, I haven't even seen it. But you can, like, from everything I've read about, if I had legs, I'd kick you. And just watching the trailer, it's obviously a movie about the agony of suffering without any support

and motherhood. Yes. And for this fucking little boy influencer to just be like, if the kid is annoying. It gets annoying. We have completely missed the point. Profoundly missing the point. Especially. talking to Julia Fox that if they had done any of their research at all, that is the

possibly the last thing you should go head to head with Julia Fox on. Yeah. And it's just, uh, you just got to do like, it's such a big platform. It's why these TikTok guys, they shouldn't be doing this stuff. Yes. You know, they, they, they, they, you need someone who's going to go in there and prep and fucking have questions like, ready to go, watch all the movies, understand everything. Yeah.

And then it's just like, he's just trying to be like, is this in your fucking podcast? man, this is for everybody. He's got to like ask thoughtful questions and respond. And have a conversation. That's part of what. It's like you're talking about Oscar movies. This is not like you're not the MTV music movies. It's vanity fair.

Yes. Well also it's on vanity fair for not book and write people for it. I mean, there's plenty of people who are great at this that didn't get the job. For sure. You know, and so I think this is going to show that maybe we should make sure that people are experienced. a little bit more, you know? Just looking into it, I mean, speaking of vetted,

we're not going to talk about the secret lives of Mormon wives in front of you. Before we go past this, like, imagine how hard you would prep if you got that gig. Oh, my God. Imagine, like, what you would do to like, it would be months I wouldn't see you.

I would be like, to make sure that I knew enough so that if anything was brought up, I'd be able to speak properly on it. Like, I would lose my mind for some. But that's, it is, it's the fact that, like, I think that people forget that jobs like we have, they are fun. But we take them very seriously. Yeah.

We take all of our silliness very seriously. And I think that that's what is missing from a lot of specifically, like, someone that is just like I'm an influencer where it's like, okay, that doesn't mean that you're not talented. It just means that you have specific talents. Different skill set. Okay. Yeah. That's completely, yes. Like when Alex Earle was on Dancing with Stars,

And I was initially very reluctant to like her because I was like, you know, they're introducing everybody else and everybody else has like a title, actor, singer or whatever. And then they're like, Alex Earl, influencer. And I was like, ugh. But then it turned out to be very great performer, talented, charismatic. She's like a dancing influencer. Yeah, right?

Yeah, right. So it makes sense. I mean, dancing as much as like, you know. TikTok is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tiny dancing.

I mean, I can do it. I can't do it. But right, I think that it's what, like, what we do, I think that the reason that, like, our podcasts are, you know, fun to listen to, if you find them fun to listen to, we honed a lot of skills as improvisers, as stand-ups, like, we developed a lot of skills. And those skills don't always seem apparent when you're looking at just standing on a red carpet and talking to people. But there's a huge skill set to it. And if you're just somebody who makes videos for TikTok, you have not honed those skills.

You have honed different skills, but not the skills required to be live, be thinking on your feet, not only be prepared like Jackie would be, but also be good at facilitating conversations, you know? And there's just so many skills that go into it that you don't necessarily think of.

And obviously the people who booked them as the hosts did not think of. He's doing the show like he's the star. You know, like that's what it seems like to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At the Vanity Fair party. You're there to make everyone else look good. Yeah, yeah.

You're not there to fucking do all the... You know, you gotta make sure you're doing the right job. You got to build people up, you know? And it's just like, that's your fucking job. Especially after the Oscars when, again, they're sitting there for hours. They're not eating anything. They're only giving a little thing a popcorn or a little snack, you know, and they're starving afterwards. Oh, you know, they're not plenty of cocaine.

Oh, love the cocaine. Oh, so much. So much. The lines are all about the snow cane, baby. Every blind are, oh, they're skiing all the way to the Alps, baby. Every wind was about cocaine. They're not hungry. There was a blind I did not read about Mick Jagger.

He was doing a bunch of cocaine at the askers. He was like, he rubs it on his knees. He's got, you know, like, he's got to. 81. Wow, still doing cocaine. 81 still doing it. I guess, though, at 81, I feel like it does go full, like, little miss sunshine. You know, yeah.

You know, he may as well. a little boat from my butt. Yeah, put a little on my bum. I've got a little pop of my stuff. That's how he dances like that. Oh, that's what it is. That's what the moves like Jagger are. Oh, it's poke up the ass.

We had no idea. They're bowel moves because of all the baby lapses. Oh, oh, yeah, it's just all the shit in his diaper. Yeah. Somebody needs to change, Mick. But do we need to change the Buffalo Wild Wings' Wing-flavored espresso Proteini? Oh, man.

I am bringing this up because Ed Larson, oh, my B-dubs extraordinary. I tell you, I lived off of B-dubs when Eddie worked as a line cook at B-dubs. Three years. For three years. Don't tell me that I shouldn't eat there because I do like to eat there. Is it bad? I mean, it depends. I worked there 20 years ago in Tallahassee.

Yeah. You know, yeah. Don't go there. Don't go back in time. Don't go there. Tel-Hassie. No, because I definitely remember one point. You were yet.

You were like, man, I just killed, like, you were like, I just killed like 30 cockroaches. And then you're like putting my wings down on the table. And I was like, thanks, Ed. Because like, I would get free so it died. That didn't stop me at all. I'm like, that's great. That means hopefully maybe some of the legs are giving me extra protein. Man, I had this really good spray.

I made this like perfect concoction of chemicals that would kill a roach the moment it hit it. And I put it in a little spray bottle. Whoa. And then I took like a nail and I made it really hot and you put it in the front of the nozzle. And so it makes it shoot. really far. Whoa. Yeah.

I was like a quick draw because they were, you know, Florida, the broches fly. Yes. And so you got to shoot them out of the sky. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, have you gotten? So, Jeff got one of these like salt guns to kill. Oh, you got one?

So he got one. And I said, you're not allowed to bring it in the house. So he's allowed to have it in his workshop and in the garage. I want one. But here was the thing. And I said, no salt gun in the house because for everyone that doesn't know, it's like, so you can, like, kill flies. So it's like, you kill flies with it.

But it releases like, it's like, pellets of salt. So it kind of gets salt everywhere. Yeah. But what was so weird, we were about to go to sleep, like three nights ago. And we have very, very high vaulted ceilings in our bedroom. And there was a was a wasp on the ceiling of our bedroom. Oh, that's a salt gun job. Bro.

And Jeff was like, and so he's like, I know what to do. And so he goes downstairs, he brings the salt gun. I was like, not. And he's like, Jackie, it's the only way. And I was like, all right, fine. Yeah. So I, like, staying outside. And so he, man, two shops.

And I tell you, bam, that thing was out. But the wasp, though, because it has like a, you know, it has like an armor on it. But two shots, that's all going, took it down, baby. Took it down. Not just for flies anymore. You know, I'm an animal activist by accident. And I have to say I still kill bugs. Oh, yeah.

I take the spiders and we bring them outside. Yes. We bring the spiders outside. I catch them and I leave, I don't bring them outside. I leave them for Jeff. and Jeff brings him outside and I, but everything else, if it's inside of the house, we apologize and then we kill it.

And we say this is our space and we're sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry, but you're gonna die. Yeah, you're gonna die. You're sorry. Yeah, BDubs, I don't know how if I would trust

their espresso martinis with protein. You don't, I don't think that you need a protein when you're drinking. I think you should keep your healthy stuff and your unhealthy stuff separate. But that's my friend. Wait a second. But Eddie,

Eddie, it's got a whole 10 grams of protein. It's a protein. It's protein. And also, Eddie, did you see that as... Sounds like there's coming it. Oh, yeah. Oh, you thought there wasn't coming in? What do you think the wind is?

I'm almost on shaking, right? Yeah. I'm shaking it. I'm shaking it. Yeah, you got to make the butter before you can make the bread. And that's what you're saying. They're like, oh, that doesn't make any sense.

I don't think you do. Yeah. But it does have a buffalo white. Wild Wing rim. It's got a dry rub rim on it. So this is, so it's espresso and I guess bone broth.

Oh God. And I just feel like this is, I know, we all know that the protein thing is like is the thing right now. They went through. Eat yogurt in the morning and you're fine. You just eat the yogurt in the morning. What the fuck? What's going on with everybody? I just feel like if this is out where you're like, now that's where I'm going to get my protein.

I think that it's a problem. I think you have a problem. Well, I'm drinking coffee liquor. I'm going to get my protein then with my chicken nuggets. Coffee beefy liquor. And he, please. I also want to say that I am shocked to say that reading about this, the espresso martini with the buffalo, sorry, espresso protein with the buffalo rub on the outside, I'm like,

those are two flavors that don't go together. And you know what it made me think of, Jackie? It made me think of the velvet. Vita cheese martini that we also discussed. And I'm just saying that I actually am not, I'm not longing for the days of the Velveeta cheese martini or anything, but I think if you're going to do a buffalo wild wings flavored rub on the outside of a martini,

I don't think espresso is your flavor. I think you've got to go more straight up like a more savory, like a regular vodka martini. Yeah. Or like a bloody merry. Like a bloody mary. Exactly. With the bone brothes.

Yeah. But this is different. at MJ. Right. I don't know. Like, maybe you haven't thought about

torquing your proteines up to it. I think it'd be true. A buffalo, um, what was, what was, bloody Mary,

fucking stick a chicken wing in it. Put a wing on it. Put a fucking full chicken wing in it. Wing, hello. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it.

Cover it and hot sauce. Put it in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the way to do this. That is the way to do this. Or at least,

oh man, on a skewer with a bunch of boneless, like, like on the top so that just like, just like, oh, get saturated on the top. You want a cabb in the bloody berry? Oh, yeah.

I want a whole, I say, Gabab it. I feel like, part of this advertising campaign would be like, we also have two-plied toilet paper in the back.

Yeah. That's also part of what's happening. For when it comes just streaming at you. Fast and hot. It's coming out fast and it's coming out. It's coming out. Oh, God.

Yeah, it's not in a good way. Oh, do you guys know why it's called BW3? No. It's wild wings. and Weck, which is the type of burger bun they used to have. And so they stopped selling, so it was a Weck Burger Bun. This is back in the day. So it would be a normal burger bun, and then you would coat the top of it with an egg wash,

and then you would put Weck seeds on it, and then you would put it through the toaster. Whoa. And that would be a special way for you to get your burger bun, but they stopped doing it. And so now it's just B-Dubs or Buffalo Wild Wings. Wow. That's why it was BW3 forever. But yeah, the Weck is gone. Yeah.

The whack is go. Inside information here on page seven. Thank you. Oh, my, I had no idea. This was the kind of insider we were talking to today. I'm worried. It sounds like somebody is vying to be a ranch basseter. This is, I somewhat, so Eddie, years ago, I started randomly receiving emails from Hidden Valley Ranch as if I were a ranch influencer.

One day we're going to find this. Valley. I know. And it's Boa Dill. And that's, you know, it's part of the deliciousness. Deliciousness. Now Hidden Valley is hiring fans to be ranch basseters and so that what they want in the ranch basitor program is for people to go through Europe and poor ranch dressing all over

everything to share the power of ranch. It's not going to start of Europe. I hate it. I don't say his name, but this is Trump's America. Yeah. We're bringing Ranch to France. This is like, we're calling it French. We're not going to not call it French ever again.

We're going to French. This is like, yes, Hidden Valley Ranch just bought France and we are only calling it French now. Man, I was, I studied abroad in 2006, and it was like a time, this phenomenon that many Americans have described when you go abroad. And it was like a time where it was like, very embarrassing to tell people that you were American, you know, because of... I'm sorry, you're talking about right now? No, no, no, all right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because of W and everything.

The idea of going to Europe right now and just pouring ranch on everything, it does. It feels like a cultural hate crime, you know? Like, it feels aggressive. Just sitting there in your fucking Cardinals hat, you know, just like, you're looking horrible. Just like, oh, God. Just looking at the Mona Lisa being like, no, Denise. Ranch. Ranch.

Rats. Ranch imperialism across the globe. It's Picasso, come on. Let's make it Percas squirt. And it's just all over it. Ranch belongs in America, like Vegemite belongs in Australia. Keep it there. Keep it there.

And the people there love it. And I'm saying this. I don't even usually get ranch anymore. I think I've kind of cut ranch mostly. Ranch sucks. Yeah, you got to move bigger and better. Or you make your own ranch. I feel sorry in Valley.

And now, but we just said this- Well, they sell the packets, don't worry. And we're all gonna now get the algorithm. We're all getting more ranch talk in our lives, unfortunately. But hopefully you're gonna get more Taco Bell talk because I'm excited they're putting out an edible hot sauce packet. That's like a cheesy hot sauce. Wait, you just eat the whole package?

Yeah, it's like inside of like a dough, like almost like an empanada thing. You don't even need to unwrap it anymore. You just get it's for you. Throw it right down your throat. You have innovators. There's something about the last three stories we just talked about. Like the Proteini, the Ranch Baceter, and the edible hot suspect. It's making me feel real depressed on the inside.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is, you know, snacks are what I live for. And I like the ever-changing shape of the food economy. And how as we watch it all go down the toilet, what we're really watching Rise is all the fake stuff. You know? Amen.

And you know, they're flipping the food pyramid and I say yes. Put those chewy fruities on top. Yeah. Nerd clusters for the win. Out the crib. If you ain't clustering, I say you ain't adult. God, that's the thing. I wanted to hate nerd clusters.

The thought of it really bothered me. I put one on my mouth. I was like, this is fucking amazing. God, wow, just the chew and everything about it. They're just absolutely perfect. It shouldn't be good. It shouldn't be legal. No, no, no, no, no.

But here we are. They certainly are, and especially, man, they just keep making more and different ones and getting crazier with it. And here at Jackie's snackies and MJ's Minute Munchies, we are really at the forefront of snack fluencing. And it's a scary world out here for us. Yeah. And we don't know what's in our future.

Is it going to be more hot pickle things? Is it going to be more cookie dough things? I don't know. I mean, cookie dough is probably a way of the past. You think that, but then they just put out these like, cookie, like a bunch of stuff. They're like, what if we had cookie dough to it? There's a, there is that one random cookie dough spot at the AMC Burbank. Yes.

You know, there's that one. And it's, it's on like a weird place. It's the only thing there. Yes. But it's been there longer than we've been in L.A. Oh, yes. So it's older than us, but it doesn't make sense. Its existence doesn't make sense.

I've never heard of anyone say, I got some cookie dough, you know? Like, no one's ever, like, I've never seen anyone. go. It's like one of the, but it's always been open. I also, though, I feel that same way about every time I see

like a Dippin' dots place or like one of those kind of like space ice cream. Some people swear by Dipping Degin Dots. I know. And I like space ice cream, but only the freeze dried stuff. Yes.

I like that. You know, but I save that for the Science Museum. You go, when you're at the place, it's talking about space, you eat the space ice cream. Dippend Dots is a water park food. I was actually, funny enough,

I was in Manhattan with a bunch of high schoolers on a field trip yesterday and they saw a dipendots. They saw a dipendot store and we were all floored. They were like, we have a storefront. Like there's a full store. There's a flagship Dippendots location because I've only ever seen it at a water park and a Chucky Cheese. But they got a, they're breaking ground. Were there people in there? I didn't go close to it.

It was, this was from a distance. I hope like a robot worked there. And it's the only time I root for that. I was in San Francisco recently, and we were on Pier 39, which is their Times Square. And I'm like, I need a cup of coffee. And I'm walking the whole fucking pier. There's no coffee. I get, there's a coffee shop at the end of the pier, all right?

Robot coffee. No. All right? It's like literally, there's a guy sitting there behind the robots, like not like, Oh, there is a human being there. Yeah, well, because the robot, when I ordered it, is like, I need milk. And he had to go get milk and pour it in the fucking robot. But the thing is, it was.

awful. I took two cents and threw in the trash and spent 20 bucks. But the, um, the fucking robot asked for a tip. Whoa. Whoa. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. I don't think so. No, no, no. No. Zero negative. No, no. No, no. The robot don't ask for a goddamn tip. If you're giving the tip to the human standing behind the robot, that's one thing.

But you didn't do shit. All it does is get milk for the robot. He didn't do nothing. for me. Somebody's got to get the milk for the robot. So you're saying the robot should be tipping the human, but then you got to be tipping the robot. Exactly. That's a problem though. But this is,

it's the tipping culture is just kind of crazy anyway, and we're not tipping the robots. I'm not tipping a robot. Because you're right, they don't make good drinks because I had a robot make me a drink in Vegas, and it also wasn't good. No, they don't know what they're doing. They're fucking robots. They don't drink. They break when they drink.

They don't. And that is indefinitely. That's why we can't trust them. Sorry, computers. I know that you all are going to rise up and take over us someday. And then I'm going to pour coffee on you and win. Yeah. Proteinis for the wind.

That's the only use for them. It's a Terminator could have just ended with a water gun. Yeah. Yeah, but he was in the rain. Wasn't he in the rain? Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, it's a good bit.

It's a good bit. But also, it's a good bit of Edward Larson. Thank you so much, Ed, for joining us on Second Helmings today. You've got so many shows coming up that I would love to talk about some of them. Yes, I'm coming. I got a show in L.A. in a couple of weeks. Please, if you're out here, come out. Amber Nelson and I are co-headlining.

I'm very excited. She just mentioned this. Yes. Yeah. We're co-headlining a show at the Lyric-Iperian. And that's going to be on Good Friday. It's the best way to spend good Friday. Hell yeah.

So you're going to call it a great Friday? Yeah. Oh, yeah, because we celebrate the death of Christ. Yeah. You eat a lot of fish. And I get to do all my Easter jokes, which is nice. That's great. I know you have a, oh, you know.

Sleepy Saturday, you know, that's the day after Easter, you know, the day before Easter when Jesus naps, you know, we got to celebrate your sleep, your naps for Jesus. I mean. Yeah. So come see that show. Ashley Brooke Roberts is going to host it. We're going to have a lot of fun at the Lyric Hyperion.

That's going to be on April. 3rd. April 11th, I'm going back to Tallahassee, baby. Talley. Are you going to go to the B-dubs? No, it's closed. They tore it down. Oh, no. But the Crystal River's still open. Whoa, that's awesome. Yeah, but I'm going to bringing fucking the lizard man.

I'm bringing Holden-McNeely. And we're going to do the P-Fog Festival. Are you traveling with him? Yes, I bought him a ticket and everything. I'm even putting, I got an Airbnb. I'm going to have to look at him more. Eddie. I know. I know. I know. I know. We know. We know. If you need any tips with traveling with Holden, it's like traveling with a toddler. I'm just going to yell at them.

Yeah, I need someone. It's good. I can take all my aggression. He might be too busy yelling at TSA agents or Lord knows. Usually you want to get away from him as fast as possible when you're in an airport. You know what I did is I got us all comfort plus tickets. Whoa. He doesn't deserve that.

But what I did is I put, I kept the middle seat open for some poor sucker. I'm like, I don't want to touch elbows with him. No. You know, as I kept in there. But we're going to be, listen. You manifest these things and they come true. There's a P-Funk festival.

It's a 12-hour festival in Tallahassee, a Brinks farm, and it's going to be every faction of P-Funk is going to play. And then Holden and I are going to be the emcees. Wow. They're going to, we are going to eat shit and get hate. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, too fat.

Why guys? What do you mean? Yeah, yeah. We're the only white people on the 12-hour bill. Good, good, good. And we're like the emcees. Wow. And so it's going to be interesting.

I'm going to have to. win this crowd over. And I don't know why I chose to bring Holden. Do that interesting. Yeah. Holden is not. I have an idea. You know what I was thinking?

I'm going to dress him like a cop. And just have everyone, yeah. Everyone can yell at him and shit. Yeah. And he'll keep trying to, I'm going to have him keep trying to shut down the festival and stuff. It'll be fun.

And so that. Wow. So you're going to make him even more hated by the audience. Oh, yeah, yeah. And to make me the hero. He's going to get, I'm more, you should get him like a security, you know, or something.

He's my security. In tally? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anything goes in tally, baby. It's going to be wild. And then the very next day, April 12th, we're going to Jacksonville, and I'm doing a show in Jumbo Shrip Stadium. Wow. In the Shrival.

I wouldn't go to Jacksonville again, because I went there last year. Great show, by the way. Audience was fucking awesome. And I even did it at like a horrible rematta. And it was still a great show. But this is going to be in Jumbo Shrip Stadium. Wow. It is in the stadium.

They have this little, like, room in the alley. Will you be dressed as a shrimp? I'm getting shrimpie to come show up. Thank God. Shrimpies going to show up. I got the mascot. I got the mascot coming. Danny Bidrojan's going to do that show us.

And Lexi's going to do the show. Great. Julie's coming. We're going to play the newlywed game. And I'm going to have Evan Rossi hosted as the host. And Danny's going to be on piano. It's going to be a lot of fun. Hell yeah.

We're going to have a very silly time. That's great. Yeah. It's going to be a fun show. It's kind of a vacation. And you know what? Holden and Lexi, they just spent a lot of shitty time. in Jacksonville.

And so I really wanted them to come take Jacksonville back. Taking it back. And I want them to have a nice time in Jackson. Wow, you're giving them a- Love this. In a mental health world, that's called the corrective emotional experience. So you're like, you have a new more positive memory of the experience of Jacksonville. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm doing that with them. And then, of course, HGX2, the Hoop-A-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G game is coming back to LPN TV very soon. Jackie's so funny in it. I'm very excited. You are very good and you play multiple characters. Very excited. Multiple episodes. You're fucking hilarious in it.

And the best part is like it's just like we got this new editor who like straight from adult swim and he's really like making this thing sing. Like it's like they're taking extra time with it. We filmed it last year and we're really taking some extra time with it and it's going to be so funny. It's going to be so funny. I was like I was so relieved. I was like, what if this sucks?

You know, we work about it. Yeah, of course. It's so scary. But it's very funny. Oh, I'm so excited. And you know, we don't know when it's dropping, but just coming soon. It's coming soon. Coming soon.

Okay, great. Okay. Yeah, the first episode is edited and we're going to try to get a couple ahead. Okay. That way we're not like waiting for the next one of the coming up. Yeah, that makes sense. But it's going to be great. I can't wait forever to see it.

We can get that at YouTube.com slash at LPNTV. Great. Yeah, it'll be on the same like YouTube channel as Goodput. Love it, love it, love it. And Vampile the Muscadie! Go and check out those series. And Eddie, as always, thank you so much for being here. I love being here.

And you know you want more Eddie, go get at him. Definitely hit up, you know, obviously listen to the last podcast on the left. Obviously listen to Brighter Side. But also, April 3rd, Lyric Hyperion with Amber here in L.A. April 11th, P-Funk Fest in Tallahassee. April 12th, Jacksonville, Jumbo Shrip. And get ready for Hubagoo. It's coming into your ear soon.

you so much, MJ. Get your squirts out. Get your squirts in. Get your squirts on. I guess it just depends on what you want with your squirt, but I hope you're enjoying it. And everybody check out the page 7 Patreon. We've got lots of good extra stuff over there for you. And we've really been rocking and rolling.

MJ. That's, Eddie, we love you. Come back soon. Thank you for coming on. It's always a pleasure. Oh, and we didn't get into it. I don't want to start us going off, but I watched He did Robbery. Oh, good.

Oh, it's good for you. Watching the rival radio enjoyed it. Yeah, the first couple episodes, I was like, this isn't for me. And then by the end of it, I was like, oh, sweet story. This is for me. It's a beautiful story. It is a beautiful story. And I'm really glad that you watched it.

I'm glad that you stuck with it because I think a lot of people were scared by the first episode and we're scared to continue. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was good. And then, you know, the second episode and the third episode, that was also very good. Man, that's six episode. It's so good. So emotional. So nice.

I can't wait for the next season. I can't believe I'm saying it. I can't wait. I usually, you know what it is? It's not even like a gay thing. It's like, I don't like love story. Yeah, he's not romance. I don't like romance.

And so I know it. And so I know. It's my husband. It's usually like Jeff, it's, I had nothing to do with. He doesn't want to watch any of my fuck show. It's like, it's just all you, he's like, it's just that, that romance is usually not his back. But, but then there are those stories that are just so good, though. Yep.

Came through. Ah, I love it. I love to hear it. Everybody, have a beautiful week. We will be back next week with page seven for your earholes. And I guess pot will be better second time around. Yeah. This show is made possible by listeners like you.

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