Page 7 - Second Helpings - Singin' in the Rain WATCHALONG

Episode Date: May 9, 2025

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Babies, babies, babies. This is a big day for us, guys. This is like a huge moment at page seven that we will never have again. I can feel MJ vibrating from here. So excited. I really am so excited. I was like so stressed out. We're recording at night.

I needed to feed my family. I needed to like get my kids close to bed. I was really like upset all day. And then I just sat down and I was like, why am I upset? I'm about to watch my favorite movie on earth. It's your favorite movie. It's my favorite movie. It's your favorite movie.

When was the last time you sat and watched singing it? I sat and watched singing in the rain with my children last year. And, um... Oh, Yeah, but were you like watching it, watching it? Oh, yeah. No, I can't not watch it. It is like, there's, I don't have this relationship with many movies where it's like,

if it's on, I stop what I'm doing. Love it. I fully, like, it is. And so, and, listener, do I feel self-conscious that you'll all hate it? Like we all do when we show our friends our favorite movie. Yes, I do. But it is a classic, huge movie. It is a classic.

I don't think everybody's wrong. It is an objectively good movie. I need you to know, I'm not. The best movies ever made. I'm not coming in here being like, prove it. Yeah, I bet it's not. I hope it makes me feel anything. And I bet it will.

And I am excited for everybody, for you to know, singing in the rain is on Max. It's on Max. So you can get it over on Marks. So you don't have to rent it. So this movie is made in 1952. It is an hour and 40 long.

So this is one of our watchalongs. You guys are hearing this on a week off where the network is off. The editors are off. And so we are recording this ahead of time. You can watch it with us on Max. Please. If you'd like to. Or if you're driving, you can listen to Jackie react to this historic movie in real time.

Yeah. I do recommend you watch it because, again, it is one of the best movies ever made. But either way, I hope you guys have a great time. We are in the year 1952. We're in a post-World War II. Boom. However, this movie not set in 1952. It is set in the 1920s during the talkie era.

And it is about movie stars who have to transition from silent movies to talkies. It's got to be difficult. That's the elevator pitch. That is great. Because honestly, MJ, I didn't even know that much about it. The only thing I know about singing in the rain is that he had a, what is it, 103 degree fever while he filmed it. 103 degree fever while he filmed the iconic dancing segments. So that is genuinely all I know about this movie.

Yes, you will be. I bet there's rain. There is rain. You'll be escorted into the 1920s in the silent film silver screen era. with some movie stars. And it is, so it is, like, it's a, I thought it would be a fun page seven movie because it is definitely a movie about pop culture. Pop culture of the 1920s. Love it.

Old Hottiewood, everybody. I am here trying to become in love with Singing in the Rain. It's a tall order, but I will say I took my starburst limited edition sparkling ice from last week and I put some vodka in it. And that's what I'm drinking along with watching Singing in the Rain. And I feel like, you know, we got to drown our sorrows some way. And I guess if you were in the movie, you could just look up to the sky and open your mouth and wait for it all to end. But that's not what's going to happen here.

We're going to be drinking and we're going to be having a good time. So join us. Go get a drink. Go get a drink. And I will say, unlike many old movies, this movie is solid all the way through. Like, it ends with a bang. Love it. It's a, you know, it's a tight hour 42, 48.

Get your, get your mocks loaded up. And we will do a three, two, one. Jackie, do you want to count us in? We do our classic three, two, one start. We're going to do our classic. Press play at the start or the word start. Yes. So three, two, one, start at the beginning of the word start. Yes. This is all practice, guys. It is, yes. Practice. Everybody just gear up. Just get ready. You start hovering. I'm hovering. I'm hovering. I'm hovering. All right. We're all hovering. Everybody is hovering and prepare because very, very soon I'm about to start the countdown.

This is going to be it. Everybody. This is it. Hover. Three, two, one. Start. HBO movie presentation. Good.

Yeah, did it go well for you? The lion is roaring. The lion is roaring. And my closed captions are on. It's already raining. Already raining. Already raining. Already rain.

Of course, many old movies have an extensive, long, boring opening credits scene, but this one is not too bad. My kids hate the long opening credits of movies. Oh, so you go past, so this is, like, these are the credits right now. These are the opening, yeah. Like, do you know, like, I feel like, it's a Wonderful Life also has just, like, very long credits at the beginning. You try to get the kids to sit down and watch an old movie and they're like, I'm bored already. But it's, you know. Just hold on.

The action is on its way. Exactly. Jesus Christ. Yeah, for some reason, they start with the credits with an old movie. Why? I don't know. I mean, I think it's so that people would actually watch the credit. You know, a lot of people worked very hard on movies.

And I would want my name to be seen. I'd want everyone to sit and look at it. That's fair. That's fair. So we're talking Gene Kelly. We are talking Debbie Reynolds, who is the mother of Carrie Fisher. Yes. And then the third star is a guy named Donald O'Connor, who was in a million movies but never became like the most famous guy.

Why? I don't know. He's great. And again, this is, ooh, directed by Gene Kelly. What? I learned something. You didn't know? I didn't care about form back then.

I understand. All right. So we're at a movie premiere. Biggest picture of 1927. We're at a movie premiere in 1927. Don Lockwood and Lina Lamont, the most famous stars at the silver screen. We're at like a press premiere. But they're quiet, right?

They're of the silences, right? Yes, this is in the silent movie era. This is pre-Great Depression. Whoa, they're wondering if there's a showmance like Ariana. Yes, this is the it couple we're about to meet. And nobody has ever heard them talk because they're only famous on silent movies. Do this whole clock? You'll see.

You'll see. This is just some bitch. She's not even a main character. Oh. This is hot. We're at a red carpet. This is, we're at the Joan Rivers part, you know. What are you wearing, et cetera.

But also the outfits in this movie are stellar. Oh my God. Fits for days. Fits for days. This bitch. Okay, Peacockin. Okay. I see you.

Oh, I'm so excited to see you react to this movie. Yes. The outfits. are, I mean, come out. We're talking Roar in 20s. Damn, bitch. That's Cosmo. That's Donald O'Connor. He's like the best friend of Gene Kelly's character. Everyone's like, oh, yay. And then they're like, who are you, idiot? You're just some guy. You're just some guy. He plays the piano on the silent films. Oh. Because remember it, that was how they did it back then. All right, here they come. Our It couple.

Oh, my God. It's just like Blake. It's just like Blake and Ryan. Right? Is that what we compare them to? Oh, this is going to be so fun. There they are. Look at her hair. Oh, my God.

I know. I know. The hair, the outfits, the hats. They're a household name like bacon and eggs. Oh, my God. And she's beautiful, right? She's like, she's platinum blonde. but nobody has ever heard her talk.

But it's good. There's always a man around to talk for her. And they're like, oh, are you guys going to get married? And he's like, ah, we're fine. We're just actors. Tell us a story, Gene Kelly. I'm about to ask you a dumb question, MJ. Is that Gene Kelly?

That's Gene Kelly. He is very attractive. You know what? All right. A bond to something, right? Yeah. I think you might be able. Oh, but always lived in the shadows.

Yes, exactly. His best friend Cosmo always lives in the shadows. But now this is the narrative device. He's going to tell his backstory. And what he's going to be saying, voiceover wise, is not going to match what you're going to be seeing. Because he actually came up via vaudeville, but he's pretending he's like a trained theater actor. Man, it must have been so much easier to lie back then. Oh, yeah.

nobody could just immediately look it up on their phones. Absolutely. Lies, lies, lies. They should all be lying. She's like, how did you become a famous actor? And he's like, I was trained with Shakespeare, but actually he's like playing harmonica at the bar. Drusilla, just like Buffy. There you go, Drusilla.

They're sneaking into the movies. He says, I got rigorous musical training, but he's in the bar again playing. And that's the musical training you receive. but honestly, the best musical training you could. Exactly. They're like the Beatles. And so this is the Man vaudeville. Dignity.

And always digity. Vodville, I guess back then, was also silent. But they had music in vaudeville? I guess they were live shows. That's a good question. I don't know if there was a lot of talking. But yeah, they would play these big theaters all over. It was much more musical based in clown.

It was like clowny, you know. Sorry I'm asking you as if you have like a master's thesis on all of these things, but I'm going to keep asking you questions as if you know. The master's thesis was like a three-year hyper focus on this movie as a child. And Gene Kelly was in a lot of movies about vaudeville because that was like, it was like how we now have movies about the 90s. You know, like a lot of his movies were about vaudeville. Makes a lot of sense. But this is a great, we're about to watch a fantastic dance number.

Man, look at them go. They're fiddling and they're tithe. to happen. Man, did they ever think about having somebody else do the dancing for them and not showing their feet? Because it's a lot easier that way. I will say this. When you watch this movie, I hate to be like this, but they really don't make movies

like this anymore. Like with just an incredible amount of skill in each actor. Like, think about the skill it took to film this scene alone. Well, just doing it, I'm assuming, in one. Like you're watching it. It looks like it's done all as one take, but I guess it's not, no, it cuts in between certain parts. It's not all one take, but I wonder how many takes it took to film these dance scenes.

I mean, a million. Yeah. I like their bucket hats, though. I love their hats. I love their suits. Maybe we did influence them a little bit. They're getting booed. And then they move to L.A. to make their dreams come true.

sound familiar? No. I think, I, I, so this movie was in color. Yeah. I think it was actually one of the first, one of the earlier color movies because it was the early 1950s.

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Okay. Because like, part of me is like they both have such vibrant blue eyes that I'm like, man, it would be so sad if it wasn't in color. I know. I feel like I can see their eyes like jumping out of the screen. I know.

I think the transition was in like the mid to late 40s because for his earlier movies are in black and white and then they transitioned to color. No one even knew how hot he was until the color pictures. Yeah. So they start off as musicians on the set of silent movies. But then he's like, I'll be a stunt man. Whoa. Like once upon a time in Hollywood. Yes.

Yes. I say it as if these things are not based on this and as if this is based on those things, but we all know that that's not the case. So this is good, though, because you have a much more thorough knowledge of contemporary movies. So you're bringing in a lot of connections. I have no knowledge of classic movies, none. And that's why I'm actually excited to continue with our watch-alongs. I am encouraging MJ to show me more classic movies because we need a reason to sit and watch this.

Like, I'm not going to sit with Jeff all I'm trying to suck and fuck and I'm going to put on singing in the rain. You know what I mean? That's not what I'm putting on. You don't often have an excuse to watch a movie from 1952, but you'll always be happy you did. This is just a montage of him doing stunts. These are good stunts, though. They're good stunts. He becomes an actor via being a stuntman in these crazy silent pictures, which is like a little bit of, I think, a reference to, like, how Buster Keaton was always doing crazy, crazy shit, you know.

Ah. Ah, so this is like, this to Buster Keaton is like hacks to Joan Rivers. I think that's right. I think that's fair. Okay. Even though Buster Keaton did not end up, yeah, I think that's fair. I think right. He didn't end up being a song and dance band, but it's like he's like the icon of the silver screen.

And what is like loosely based on, like the same with hacks, where it's like not all of it is the same, but like loosely based on. I think that would be fair. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. And Buster Keaton also came from. vaudeville. Oh, cool. Now that's how you do a little bit of a Hollywood.

Exactly. I think about the studio, right? Like the current show, the studio, that's like the studio guy coming in and be like, oh, you're a, you got star material, baby. I'm like, but do I? Whoa. And so that's how he met Lena. I don't trust like that. He's spinning lies. He's not classy.

So what is his bro doing hanging out? Like he's just around? Cosmo's just around. He is just the professional third wheel. Forever third wheel. Always right. I feel like to the point you have to be like, Cosmo, get the fuck out of here. Yeah.

We're like trying to fucking on and get out of here. Yeah. So now we're at the premiere. They're seeing the film they made. And remember, it's a silent movie. So it's like, you know, real campy, real pantomimee. And this is, what is the name of the movie? The dueling cavalier, I think.

think is the name. So it's just as silly. Like, this does not really matter what we're seeing right now. We're just seeing that it is a silent movie. And, I mean, great costumes in the silent movie. Great costumes. And everyone is like, oh, they're so, basically this is all just establishing that, like, they're so cool. Everybody loves them. He's the it guy. She's the it girl. But then he starts kissing his bro Cosmo and then it's like Oh oh I forgot Whose lips I was kissing And then all three of them are kissing

I'll write the addendum To the movie afterwards Don't worry I mean if he's always around Ooh Okay mint green Yes bitch Again okay Slay

If you are not watching I encourage you to watch just for the fits Alone The fits are stunning That are just look up fits of singing in the rain. Good Lord. Everybody's fucking killing it, dude.

Now notice she is trying to talk. She keeps stepping up to speak and he keeps stopping her. Stopping her. Uh-oh, called it. Annoying boys called it. Or maybe, I don't know. Doesn't speak English. Who knows?

It would be funny if she could do all of that and didn't speak any English. I'd be like, that's impressive. No wonder you are the it go. Wait for it? Ah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's got a horrible voice.

Yes, I love it. Her voice. She's killing it. She's so funny. I didn't appreciate as a kid how funny this actress is. What's wrong with the way I talk? Am I dumb or something? I love this bitch.

Whoa. You piano player. Whoa. I mean, talk about Fran Dresher before Fran Dresher, right? I mean, oh, that's like the equivalent of Reddit in the 1920s, the fan magazines. Wow, yeah. It would take a lot longer for the shit of comments to get through, though. I think that would probably become annoying.

No wonder they created social media. I know they're not talking about RFK, but it does feel like they're going to RFK's party. And unfortunately, in this world, I would imagine if they were invited to an RFK party, they'd probably have to go to an RFK party. Kennedy was probably at one of these parties, you know. I'm sure. Oh, it's just for publicity. He hates her. He hates her.

It's because of her names. Sorry, I think of publicity. You're right. They should kiss, Jackie. I've never once thought of that. Why? Because I was not, I didn't know you when I was 10. All of these, most things would be better if they're kissing.

He is weird, though. He looks, Cosmo looks just like my grandfather. Oh, yeah? It's very weird. Really? Oh, I'm sorry for that. I don't thirst for Cosmo if that helps.

You can thirst for my grandfather. Jack Ranagan was a great man, MJ. You can thirst. I mean, he had two families, so a man so nice, he had to get married at the same time twice. You got to be a good man. Two families.

Two families. So Don Lockwood got mobbed by a mob of screaming girls, and he has just jumped into Debbie Reynolds's car. Yeah, sucking in fucking. And she's dressed like a fromp dump. She is. I didn't want to say that because it was true. Like I'm supposed to lift women up or something. But like fromp dumb.

She looks stunning, but she is wearing the exact same outfit that Mary from It's a Wonderful Life wears when we're supposed to think that she's going to die alone. So this is like the code for like frumpy bitch. Yeah, she looks like Dobby, you know? Like she looks like she's waiting for somebody to give her a sock to be set free. Meanwhile, I would love to look this good, you know. Oh, I mean, me too. Oh, I mean, I'm not talking about her face or the anything else.

I'm specifically talking about the outfit. Yeah, she's doughty. But she's like, she at first was like, oh my God, what are you doing in my car? She does not recognize him. Or at least she's acting like she doesn't recognize him. recognize him. He's like, wow, why are you not fawning over me? Everybody fawns over me. Oh my God, because she's not like the other girls. She doesn't fawn over him. Oh my God, MJ. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's not like the other girls. Okay. She's also got those big, huge, beautiful eyes.

I know. Good Lord. I know. He's creeping on her now. He's like, oh, hey. Now, Gene Kelly remind me, MJ, beats or just drinks? Beets women? Yeah. You accused him of beating women live on stage once. I accused him of, okay, I couldn't remember if it was true or if I had done it. I mean, I read several biographies of his, but I don't remember him being either a drunk or a womanizer. I think he was just...

I think I confused him with Frank Sinatra. I, but yes, Frank Sinatra did both, I think. Yeah. But I make several movies with Frank Sinatra. I shouldn't just assume. I mean, he might have been, I actually assumed he was a closet case. Oh, see, that makes me love him 20 million times more. Yeah.

I think he was just like a really dedicated man to tap dancing. I mean, he's pretty good at it. What you're missing is that she's being like, oh, I don't really care about movie stars. And he's like, what? Because everybody trips, everybody falls at his feet, except this. bitch because she's not like the other girls. Not like the other girls. She's a stage actor.

This is like when I try to explain people that it's difficult to do audio books and they're like, what do you mean? You read a book? But it's so much more than that. But I can read a book. Anybody can write a book. It's like, but it's more than that. Right, right.

So she's like I'm an actor on the stage and he's like, oh, but she's an aspiring actor. She hasn't really been in anything. But she thinks she's a little smug. I mean, I get it as someone that, you know, you went from theater. And you think about the world of comedy. We talk about this all the time. We were more in the stand-up world. You know who we look down on?

The improv people. Yeah. And you know who the improv people look down on? The sketch people. It's like we all just like look down on each other. Exactly. Even though we're all being funny. Yes.

Damn right, bitch. That's right. Lay it down. That's right. Let's right. Let's right. Shut him down. Yes.

Oh, now he's going to play hard to get. I'm going. Yeah, bitch. Uh-oh. Oh, I see. We're going frenemies to lovers. Exactly. Fucking.

Uh-huh. Exactly. Okay. You got it. I'm signing up. I love enemies to lovers. I love it. Especially the first touch.

Oh, it's so magic. So now we're at the big swanky after party. Again, the fits could... Giving life over here. Yeah, they could just carry you through. Just looking... Even though, interestingly enough, the flapper world and like the low waist

never have... I think it looks hot on people, but I've never... Like, I do not have the body... Right. For a flapper style. It is a... It is such a short-lived style, maybe because it doesn't suit people well, but it's the only femme fashion that I've ever really been interested in.

I get. It's beautiful. It's just like, I'm like, my body doesn't do those things. Yeah, you know? Yeah, it's like very straight down and very fringy. It's all very, no curves, no lines all very. Right. Look at the loathsome look in his eyes when he sees Lena. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. just like Ariana and SpongeBob. Yes, yes. Oh, this is a great scene. So, I got a good movie. I don't know I want money. They're going to watch a little movie at the part, at the after party.

Here's the thing. You know what I'm going to confess this to you, MJ? I don't know if I've ever confessed this to you before. I'm very sexually attracted to the transatlantic accent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have, Jeff will sometimes, because Jeff does a great transatlantic accent, and sometimes he's like,

You slip in? You slip in. I'm like, fucking stop. Like, it is uncanny how much it makes me horny. I don't know. Is it because of a showman? Like, do I need a showman? It's understandable.

This is why you've got to watch more old movies. Okay, so I'm watching a movie at the party, and it is talking. They have never seen a movie. Oh, this is the first time. Ew, why they have such an ugly guy doing it. I know. A talking picture. I guess it would be like the head of the network.

or the company that would do it. Let's be real. They think it's like, everyone thinks it's like a prank. They're like, stop talking behind the screen. Can I also just say, very clear.

All of this is very, very clear. Yeah. For 1952. And I mean, has it, maybe it's been remastered? I don't know, but this looks fucking right.

I know. It is shot beautifully. It looks beautiful. Yeah. That's what they said about the internet. Exactly. Everybody's like, look at this gimmick

of the talking picture. Fuck that. They're making a movie called the jazz singer. No one's ever going to hear about it. Whoa. That bitch. Oh, she's a bitch in a cake.

She's a bitch in a cake. She's a bit of a dancing bitch. And he's like, oh, Ethel Barrymore. Oh, you're a theater actor. But you're doing the floor show. He's being a snoot. He's like, oh, you're going to do some hamlet, bitch? Or you're going to dance on the floor for us?

Fuck off, Gene. also really cute whoa and she can sing he loves her uh jeff's grandmother likened what we do it like podcasting and all the world of it likened it to the world of going from the silent movies into the talkies and how like she was like i'm so impressed like how do you know how to go forward How do you figure out what's next? It was like, you keep trying things. You have to keep trying things. Like what they did back then.

I was like, we don't know what this current future is. We got to just keep trying. And isn't that like terrifying and exciting all at the same time? That's very, yeah. Yeah, what insight. Yeah. Look at her do. Yeah.

Get him up. Get a piece. Oh, I wish this was still what sexy meant, you know. I mean, they're pretty. I mean, outside of the swim caps, I'm digging this. Lena's like, hey, who's this dame anyway? Yeah, she pied Lena by accident. Damn.

Yeah, nobody cares about you, Lena. This is, of course, in the era where there could only be one good woman. So I apologize to the listeners. I will be hating on Lena throughout the film. You got to hate it. But here's the thing, MJ, if we remade this movie, would I play both Lena and Debbie Reynolds? And you would play Gene Kelly, obviously. That's such a good question.

Yeah, you're definitely Lena. And, yeah, I think you could be Debbie Reynolds. Are you saying I can't sing and dance the way Debbie Reynolds does? The comedic talent of Lena. I'm kidding it. Oh, my God. Funny to get it. Put me in a cake, MJ.

it's because I keep begging you to put me in a cake and you won't. I'll let you pop out of a cake. Let me in a cake. Yeah, you could be Debbie Reynolds for sure. I guess I always resigned to myself to having to be Debbie Reynolds because I didn't think I could be Gene Kelly. But again, now I know I can't. Now you can. We're breaking down barriers.

Because I want to be both Cosmo and Gene Kelly. And you can be both Lena and, and, um, Kathy. It'll be a lot of work, but I think we can get it down. Let's get to practice. And we've got to get a choreographer. If we're talking the extent. And in page seven universe, Holden is Cosmo. God's two.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That or any, like, no, I don't think you can do it. Like any character that says that, I feel like, any contrarian Holden should play. Yeah, yeah, he could be the studio executive that's like, it'll never work. That'll never work.

But look at this, Godpers. Look at this outfit of Gene Killies. It has got the prince. Hot Boy Summer. bro, you're going to be too hot boy. You're going to be really putting the hot in hot boy summer if you wear this outfit in the summer. So what's happening...

Now saying you can't pull it off. Yeah. No, I will. I will pull it off. What's happening is, you know, he's like, oh, that girl, I love her, I miss her. And Cosmo's like, cheer up, buddy. And this is about to be the most famous, probably even more famous or as famous as singing in the rain,

the song that's coming up. the show Everybody needs a Cosmo in their life Yes He's great He really does a lot of heavy lifting

In this movie Uh oh he's silly This is Cosmo's song How did he jump up there? Oh get ready to have your mind Alone How did he jump up on top of the piano This whole song is so good

Another bucket hat though If you are watching If you are listening to this And not watching the movie You should look up Just to make him laugh on YouTube It's about three and a half minutes, but it is a very famous musical number. It is so good. He is an incredible physical

comedian and dancer. The hopping is impeccable. I could never hop that high. I would watch this number over and over and over just to study it. How did that not hit his gooch? I know. He just got gooched. Yeah, this is probably one of those stories where he had like chronic back pain for the rest of his life just from filming this one number. Must. We're going to put that out of our mind. I did a tango dance in high school that I had to learn as a part of a show. And there's a prat fall at the end.

And I never wanted to learn how to properly do it. So I would just throw myself on the floor. And now I have forever back problems. Really? Thank you, tango dance. Why did I not just learn how to properly fall? You know why? Because I was 16 years old.

Yeah. And I thought that it wouldn't affect me forever. Yeah. I always took the stage fighting workshops at Thespian Conference because I thought it was fun to learn that stuff. Also, always the hottest people were in those classes. Definitely. But yeah, just marvel at his physical skill in this. He is like just so funny.

Good Lord. Such an interesting combination of dance and clowning. And he never made it huge after this? I don't think he was ever like a household name. Wow. I think he was in a lot of movies, but... This is so funny. It is so funny.

He's throwing himself up in the air fighting with a mannequin. Yeah, the Pratt Falls alone are like worthy of study. Good Lord. All to make his bestie smile. Oh, just because he's got a crush on a girl? Yeah. I wouldn't go to this extent just because my friend had a fucking crush. And we'd be like, get over it, bro, or go after her.

I don't know what to tell you. Not dancing for minutes straight. Man. Just throwing himself on the floor. Throwing himself on the floor. Get ready. Can you imagine how exhausted? This is the culmination of this number.

All right. Turn it up. What? He's one of the only times in the movie you can see the cut. I used to fast forward and pause to see because when he jumps through the wall, you can see that it cuts. Oh, that's so fun. He must need time to recover and come back. Must.

Because I was, I would, I would, like, how does he do it? How does he do it as an actor? And then I've noticed that you think the film cuts after he jumps through the wall. Yeah. All right. So now they are remaking. the dueling cavalier, which is their stupid movie. They're remaking it.

Oh, so they're doing the same movie just with talking? Same movie, but with talking. Oh. And they have never done it before, and there is going to be a steep learning curve. Well, yeah, if you don't have to worry about sound forever, and then you have to add in all that shit. Exactly. Whoa. She got Kathy fired.

I don't think so. Oh, that's why he has to bring in Debbie Reynolds. Mm-hmm. And remember, this is, of course, before the era of the body mic. No loaves. Boring. Boring. Where are the lobs at?

Damn, bitch. I mean, who's the bitch? She's the bitch. They're not doing the dialogue yet. This is, I think maybe this is before they have turned it into a talkie and they're still silent. Ah, okay. Getting ahead of myself. Yeah, so they're just, in this scene, they're just trying to film, but they're just shit-talking each other.

I do wonder where old classic style of kissing started. You know how they move their head so drastically when they would kiss? Yeah. And like I wonder if like that must have been taught to have how you do it on screen. I know. Right? Because the old kisses and old, they're not good. No, because I'm like, stop moving your heads.

Okay, yeah, here we go. I was ahead of myself. So now our, the studio guy is about to come in and be like, we have to make it a talkie. Ew, he's got a dumb face. Look at his dumb mouth. I want to punch him. Yeah, I'm pretty smart.

Look at his dumb face. Dumb mouth. He does have a dumb mouth. It's pursed. It's more pursed than it should. Very pursed. Talking pictures. Yeah, so a studio guy comes in.

He's like, fuck, everybody loves the jazz singer. We've got to remake this movie as a talking picture. Aha. We're going to make the dueling cavalier. into a talking picture. I'm glad because I thought it was like, wow, I really am not paying attention when you had said that this was already happening. I apologize. I guess, no, no apologies.

I jumped ahead. You look like Mr. Bubbs. We don't want to be left out of the sound equipment. This is like you telling me to use chat GPT. Gotta use chat GPT. This is what everybody's telling me. We're going to be left behind if we don't use it. I'm scared of it.

I don't want to use it, but everyone keeps telling me that you're going to get left behind if you don't use it. And I'm over here like, a talking picture. No one will like it. I've never heard of it. No one won't ever. Never understand. And now there's a montage of front page articles saying everyone loves the talking picture. And now there's a really weird montage of movies.

What is this? Are they other movies? There are other movies that are like sound. This is really trippy. Whoa. This is trippy. This is like the half a little. lumps.

I feel like every music, every movie, every musical from this time had one extremely trippy scene in it. Whoa. LSD induced scene and that's this one. This is great. Hell yeah, give me what they're having. Yeah, man. I think this is meant to be like, look at the onslaught of musicals and, wing, wing, wing.

I just, man, they're all just doing line, line, line. They're all taking pill, pill. Pill, pill. Yeah. That's because you're reading Julia Foxes down the drain. It's because of Julia Fox, yes. But also, though, not really, because didn't they give them uppers to get through the day and down us to get through the nights?

That certainly did that to Judy Garland. Now, if you look closely, you'll see that in this montage of movies they're making Kathy, our friend, Debbie Reynolds, is there. And the studio people are like, who's that girl? She's got some starboard. Uh, uh, something tells me, what's her name, Lindy, Lindy, Linna. Lina. Lina, not gonna like it.

Lina not gonna like it. You're right. But those dropways. I know, so many dropways. If only I could. Not made for me. Whoa. This whole scene is so weird.

She's lounged in a boudoir? It's just like a fashion montage. Uh, I mean, again, sick fits. Yeah. Loving it. And I do like that fit, too. I love that fit. Well, not, not, I don't like the tennis one as much, but the other one I did.

But the fur coat one is cool. Yeah, this must have been the movie being like, we, this is a movie made in 1952, about 1927, so we need to spend a lot of time on the fashion. Showing that it is a different time period. Yeah. And I'm here for it. Yeah. Flash out the world.

Yeah. But yeah, I said before this is a movie that not a lot of fat, but there are a couple of random scenes that you could do with that. This is probably one of them. Yeah, but honestly, though, I am digging, watching and looking at all the fashion because in my head, I think 20s and I only think Flapper. And then you think about like all the different ways in which the design of Flapper was used in other ways, which makes sense. But I never thought about it before. Are you supposed to wear all black in court? Is Gideon?

No. That was like a sexy jurist. Yeah. Man, look at this short wedding dress. Okay. It is all drop waist. Every single outfit is a drop waist. Now, I guess was the drop waist, I know you don't know.

I'm just starting a conversation up like, was that to emphasize the wideness of your hips? to be like, look at how wide they're, like, as a positive. Because, like, I feel like high-waisted shows your, your smallest section for a lot of people, but not for all people. Right. So I wonder if that was, like, to emphasize the width of their hips. Fashion people, please, write in, sound off.

Let us know. I'm curious. Whoa. Wait, did you get, you didn't get Zelda from, that had nothing to do with it, right? No, but I forgot that Zelda was like a cool, popular name. the 1920s. But like the hair, I love, I just, I love, I love the femme fashion of this era. The hair, the, the drop way, the dresses, I love it.

I love it, but it's also like not sustainable. Like, who's got, even though like, I love the hair. Do you know how long it takes to plate that shit? I know, the finger curls or whatever you call it. Oh, my God. So, R.F, the studio head is trying to cast Kathy. and he's got worms in his brain. And he's not dealing with the worms in his brain,

but he's certainly making a lot of choices. And even though the last time they saw each other, he was being a huge dick to her. Don Lockwood is like, I'm so happy you've been cast in my movies. And she's like, yeah, I'm so happy to see you too. So. Yeah, of course.

If a studio head says anything to you, who gives a shit how angry they were whatever they said the last time they saw you. Exactly. And so. Which is not how we should be. So now she's like, oh yeah, like I actually do know a little bit about you because I actually have read some of the fan magazines and he's like, what? So she was like, she was so not like the other girls before, but now she's like, actually, maybe I'm kind of a fan of Don Lockwood. The most not like the other girls think she is is pretending to be not like the other girls.

Exactly. Okay. Oh, I've seen eight or nine of your movies actually. Damn, wow, okay. The loveboats calling. Love boats calling. And in true MJ form, I used to fast forward through this scene and the subsequent love side.

Because the love was found and you hated it. And you hated that the love was found. You wanted the love to be gone. You wanted no. It is so funny that we are such good friends, MJ, because we both love the opposite things. Yeah, and you really understand exactly why I fast forward it because I was like, love, boring. Yuck, boring, give me more tap dancing.

And meanwhile, if I was that age, I'd be like, yuck, I'd rather go back to the tap dancing so that I can dream of them kissing while they're also tap dancing. Yeah. Because in this, I also would probably fast forward this portion if I was young watching it. Because I want him to be kissing Cosman. and I don't want him to be kissing Debbie. Yeah. No, that's a whole new lens through which to watch this movie

that I have completely not considered before. During that whole song that he just sang because his buddy was upset, but maybe it's because he was upset because his buddy's in love with this bitch. Yes. Yes. I'm seeing it. Good point. Thank you.

So now they have like busted into a soundstage and Gene Kelly is like, setting like a beautiful, perfect scene for her. And I thought it was really stupid and boring. But I guess it's nice. I thought it was stupid and boring. He's turning on all the stage lights. He's turning on a fan for a breeze. And he's like, oh, you're so hot.

I mean, I do understand. I used to do theater as well and really thought that theater was above all other entertainment. Of course. You got it. That's what that's what theater. actors do. That's what theater actors are. But also, you know why?

Because they watch people do things that I dare say sometimes, oftentimes, are not as hard as what they do. And they don't get paid as much. And they don't get appreciated as much. Yeah. And that sucks. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that theater actors should be as revered as movie stars.

Yeah. But they aren't. That's why I love when big celebrities do theater. Yes. agree. But then until you see that some of them, I forgot which show, who was doing what show, somebody, but they're charging like for a small theater,

straight theater show, they're charging like $1,200 a ticket because it's celebrities. Where it's like, no, don't do that. Yeah, no, don't do that. Don't do that. Like, that's not what we're asking for. And this is a kind of a boring song to be,

and to be fair to 10-year-old me. It is. The musical is full of interesting songs, but not this one. I'm 37 and I still find kind of find it boring. Yeah. And I want them desperately to kiss, but it is a little more. It is. And also, I just think I think it's so

sweet. I'm sorry, I love you, Debbie Reynolds, and I do think that you're stunning, but isn't it nice that she's the love interest in this movie? And she's just like, kind of like a simple girl. Whoa. Don't you think so? You say a dump front on her, huh? You're talking and she's a fucking dump truck, huh? M.J. just laid down

the track. Gauntlet on Debbie Reynolds. She's a real, like, girl next door. Yuck, I'm puk. I'm throwing up twice. I keep having to get away from the microphone because I keep throwing up every time I look at her.

I'm just like, ugh. Why would they? Ugh. I mean, to be fair, Lena ain't, I mean, I was going to say, ain't nothing to shake a stick at, but I would shake the stick at her

and be like, you're also not pretty enough. Yeah, I fucking said it. See, I feel like Lena is a stoner. Like, Lena is like a Marilyn Monroe. type kind of, right? Like the platinum blonde, like the big beautiful curves. But you are so I'm giving you shit, but you're right. Debbie Reynolds is girl next door.

Girl next door. She's not big, like, 100%. And I know obviously long time ago, but even seeing interesting that you could tell that Lena is supposed to be the high femme, the big hot one of it. Right, right, right. I find interesting because I wouldn't necessarily say that I could pick her out of a lineup in this day and age. Right, right, right.

But what a difference it has come. You know, Jeff and I talk about this a lot, too, when it comes to, like, we were discussing this with Racher and the idea, the, quote unquote, ideal male body and how it has changed. Yes. And how, like, you think of, like, what Kurt Russell used to look like when he was at the top action star of his game. Right. And he still had a dad bought. Totally. Yes. That is a great example.

Yeah, because, I mean, I find Gene Kelly very handsome. But yeah, I mean, he's not like... Oh, yeah. And he's like, obviously, tight and ripped and stuff. But he ain't ripped. But yeah, he's not like a big jack. He's not a Marvel dude. Yeah, he's wearing trousers up to his nipples, you know. It's like the standards of masculine beauty are so different.

Also, short king, too. I think he's a short king. Or unless Debbie Reynolds is, is taller than I would assume, but... Yeah, I think she's a tiny, she's a teeny tiny, and he's a medium. And he's a medium. Yeah. And I like, even though obviously real hot, very, very talented.

I'm not saying that all of these people are not insanely talented, but I'm just talking about the difference of beauty standards. Totally. Very different beauty standards. Now they all have to learn how to talk. T-tow-2. I feel you, Lena. People give me shit every day. for my voice, girl. I love this.

Say it loud, say it proud. I bet, bitch. And I can't stand him. Wait, that woman is a character actress. What is she in? Oh, really? Yes, oh, yes. I need to remember specifically what movie I'm thinking of her in.

So now they're all learning how to talk for their talkies. Round Rocks. The Ruggedy. Rascal, run. See, Cosmo's just there. Always there. Always there, huh? Excited dialogue, coach.

It's cute. There's really a song a minute. There's about to be another famous song. I didn't really realize how many songs there are. I was, she is in hocus pocus. That's what I was thinking of. Really? And anybody that remembers.

Really? Oh, yeah. The bitch from a movie in 1952 is in Hobicus Pocus. The vocal coach, yeah. Good for her. Yeah, I didn't realize she was acting her whole life. I only remember her as an... Her name is Kathleen Freeman.

I only remember her as an old actress. Like, I don't remember, but she's been in, apparently, a million things. I can't believe you pick that out, Jackie. For only knowing that she was in a hocus focus. No, no, you should be very proud of yourself. This is another famous song, Moses' poses. His toes are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously. This is probably hard to pick my favorite, but this is one of my favorites.

Moses and noses and then you have your roses. This is very cute. You're just about to see some incredible duo tap dancing between Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor. It's a banger. So they are specifically tap dancing in this. Yes. Right? They are.

They're not just. So I wonder if they had to go back in and add the taps. I don't know how they film tap dancing. Like, I think they just mic it really well. You can see that they're wearing tap shoes. Oh, yeah, yeah. I just didn't know how they get the tap noises. Yeah.

Yeah, no, it's a great question. Yes. They had to record the audio of the tap dancing and overlay it with the film. original sound. Really? So they had to go back through and separately record the tapping. That's crazy, Jackie.

I never knew that. That's crazy. That makes a lot of sense. Just because, like, we're just talking about it. It's like, this is new in the world of talkies. So how would they be able to properly navigate that? Because during my hyperfocus, I didn't know enough about the technical aspects

of how you film something to even consider. Yeah. Oh, wow. I know. Sorry, now I'm also losing myself. Debbie Reynolds had absolutely no dancing experience when she started this movie. There is a dance number coming up where the three of them dance and she holds her own. I can't believe she learns.

17 years old, by the way, we're calling a 17-year-old to dump from and I don't know what that. Don't you apologize? I love it. That's crazy that she's 17. She only made $75 a week. What? But also look at Gene Kelly, Jackie. He is a master of his craft.

Well, now they're just going to throw a bunch of stuff on the vocal coach. I mean, but it is, but they're really, they're killing it. They're so good. I mean, who needs diction, right? You know? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I forgot she was 17, man.

That's so, and I think he's in his 40s. Okay, so this is such a funny scene. You will love this scene. This is what they're trying to film with audio for the first time. Ooh, fun. Oh, because they have to hide the microphones. Exactly. In the bush.

Is it Gremlins 2? It is very fun to experience this with you because your brain goes to such different places than mine has ever gone. It's Gremlins 2. I've seen this movie probably 75 or 100 times. And you've never thought about Kathleen Freeman in Gremlins 2. Never once. she's the one that does the the cooking show

of all the gremlins. That's the vocal. I'm still talking about the vocal coach. I'm sorry. I got hung up. I have ADHD. Sometimes I get hung up on something. And then now it's difficult for me to continue.

No, I love it. Just say it aloud. And then now I can continue. I love it because if it was just me, this is why I'm not hosting the show alone because I would just be like, isn't this part funny? No, watch this part.

Watch this part. This part's funny. That's why I love it. It's your favorite movie. That's how you should be. with your favorite movie. She cannot talk into the bike. Oh,

oh God. She's moving her head too much. I mean, not to get back into the world of audiobook narration. Just saying, you move your head a lot more than you think you do, and you're not supposed to when you do audiobooks. I can't make love to a bush.

Whoa, okay, intense. Yeah, this is like the DP or whatever, and he's going to have a brain aneurysm. I do also understand because weirdly enough, we just went through this with LPN Funhouse, because we have, I'm going to say, multiple things where people will not be able to use their hands, and we now have finally invested in the things

that hang on your neck so that it can hold a microphone. Oh, nice. Which, after all this time, is for the best. Definitely. You'll get a lot of use of it. So I get you, Lena. I get you, bitch. So now they have a tag. attached the microphone to a big flower on her chest.

Let's see if she does better. She won't. She won't. Oh, God. Oh, God. This is fun. I feel like there's so many movies in like the 70s, 80s, 90s that's like, man, if you just had a cell phone, this would really figure out the entire movie. But it's fun to go back even further of like, yeah, if you had just had a microphone.

so much of this movie wouldn't have mattered. Entire movie would not matter if they had a decent microphone. I feel almost guilty. I feel like I'm like, I've got multiple microphones right here that would probably work a lot better. Let me send them over. Oh. So many matching hats to vests.

Is this something that we're missing out on? I know. And also fantastic two-tone shoes abound. That's the thing. The masculine fashion, don't miss it. So now they're like basically a couple. He's like, oh, I wish we could watch the movie together. And she's like, don't mind me.

Is that what happens in the 1950s, that it's like, in my head I need a lot more. But all they have to do is have one song together in their relationship. Oh, yeah. Definitely. Yeah, they're BFC. I need to understand these things. I don't understand the old movies. You know, I don't know what A plus B equals in this world.

So now they're basically watching like the soft trip premiere of the talkie version of the Dueling Cavalier. And it's not, it sounds like shit. Oh no. This is like every time we do an episode of Crescent City when we're covered in our costumes. And the poor engineers have to work around it. Yep. I'm the saddest of mortals in France. I know.

Yeah. you really sound very French and very royal. I can't stand him. Man, you know, at first I was like, her voice isn't that annoying, but the more you listen to it, the more it is. And I shouldn't comment on another person's voice,

especially after saying all of my trauma. But I'm saying I get you, bitch, is what I'm saying. I think this is why I like the movie so much, because, like, I also, yeah, have a weird voice. And so, like, the fact that everyone was just like, her voice, no. But like, I don't know why, but I find it very comforting when things from a very long time ago are very funny. I find it like, yeah, people have always been funny, you know, like, I just think this is such a slapstick, stupid, funny scene from 1952. Bro, I feel the same way about horror movies.

Yeah. Talk about, like, I'm trying to watch more classic horror movies because, man, they can do so much with not a lot. And isn't it? Yeah, cool to have these universal feelings of, like, fear or humor. like exists across everything. Dude, whatever happened to baby Jane,

I'd love to show you that if you haven't seen it. That would be fun. I would absolutely watch that. I mean, it's more a psychological thriller, but bro, oh, it's a psychological thriller. I would absolutely watch that.

Everyone's like, fuck this movie. This movie sucks. Nobody's happy. Oh, God, it's all going belly up. Everything's going wrong. Oh, it's got an asshole for a mouth and no shit comes out of it.

The sound is out of sync. We've all been there, girl. Yes, yes. No, no. Oh, no. The video's fucked up, the audio's fucked up. Everyone's laughing. Whoa.

Also, bitch with the fit, my God. Yeah. Yeah, Lena's fit is great. but now they're like standing in the corner like everybody hates us. We're supposed to open in six weeks. This is the worst picture ever made. Lena, I liked it. I liked it.

The rain? Yeah, we haven't even gotten to sing it in the rain yet. Just up drinking big glasses of milk in 1927. Wow, I didn't realize how much milk was on the table. Checking a whole container of milk. Have a whiskey. What is wrong with you people? eating late night sandwiches and milk?

I would say you're three adults, except Debbie Reynolds is 17. So maybe she should be having a glass of milk. Give her some milk. Yeah, it's better. It's better. Oh, I'm having such a good time watching this through your eyes, Jackie. Growing bones. Whoa, God, what I would do for a huge kitchen like that?

I know. I love this kitchen. Except look at that tiny little icebox. I hate that icebox. Whoa. This is cute because then she works together with Cosmo to cheer them up. They're both cheering them up. It's cute.

It's cute. Another famous number coming up. I doubt you. Have some more milk. Make a musical. Chugging back the milk. No, what's happening is, Jackie, that's not about milk. They're like, hey, Don Lockwood, you're a fantastic dancer.

And singer. Maybe you should turn the movie into a musical. But I'm a piano player. Did he say that? They're like, we can save the movie by turning it into a musical. Does he have a pride tie on? Is that a pride tie? A pride tie?

I mean, I know Cosmo's not wearing a pride tie, but for a moment, it did look like he had a rainbow tie on. I mean, and he is in my brain. Somebody in this movie has to be. closet case. Chah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know this one. Wait.

It's great. Were they sucking back milk in the morning? I think that's, I think that milk was there to show how late it is. Maybe the milk got delivered. This is in the days that you get the milk delivered. Ah, the milk deliveries. At like 4 a.m. Although I think he just said it's 1.30.

It's morning. So it's 1.30 a.m. So maybe it's yes to make. Can you imagine having enough space in your kitchen to do a three-person dance routine? You're really fixated on the large kitchen. I want the kitchen, MJ. I want the kitchen.

You know what? They do a whole dancing tour of the house right now, and the whole house is breathtaking. He's a movie star. They're in his house. But they weren't together in real life. No. No. That's good because she was 17.

You're sure? I'm looking for something, MJ. I'm looking for something. As much as I love Gene Kelly, he does not have a lot of on-screen chemistry with anybody. I think he's a bit of... Besides Cosmo. Besides Cosmo. I think he was a bit of a divo, you know.

His chemistry was with himself. Oh, okay, that makes sense. But also, the worst part is it makes sense. I mean, look at him. Yeah. But also, Tadby Reynolds didn't know how to dance at all before this. It's crazy that she didn't know how to dance. She is holding her own with the best tap.

dancer in America. Do you know? Have you ever tried to tap dance before? It's so hard. I have. It's so hard. It's so hard. It looks.

It's the type of dance. I would say the ratio of looks easy to is hard is highest with tap dance. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I would say that. I mean, I don't know a lot about the other dance styles, but I imagine. I just feel like I don't look at other dance.

Like, I don't look at ballet and think that looks easy. No. You know, but you look at tap and you're like, oh, you're just moving your feeties. Yeah, I can be slapping my feet against the floor too. Right. Yeah. I just showed this number to my kids again the other day. And they were like, she's dancing in heels and they're wearing flat shoes.

And I was like, that's right, children. That's right. The horrific double standard. Yeah. Yep. It's like Ginger Rogers quote. I did everything that Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in heels. Yep.

But this is what I want. I want that bar, Jackie. Look at this bar. Oh, yeah. Oh, the bar. I thought you meant because they were doing bar dancing. Oh, no, no. Oh, you want like a bar set up, MJ?

No, you want the kitchen. I want this bar. You want the bar. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I also like, I think this really set, like, it's like this is my challengers, you know, like one woman with two men dancing. That's my challengers. This is it.

Yeah. Oh, oh. Uh-oh, calm down. Lena. How are you going to make a musical with Lena? Give her an evil role? It's a good idea. Cosmo.

That gives me an idea. Ooh, Jackie, hold on to your ass. Oh, no, my ass is going to fall off. Watch. She's standing behind Cosmo singing. Cosmo's pretending to sing. They're lip-sinking for their life. Do a death drop.

Use... That's good. Steal the voice and don't give the credit to women for many, many centuries. That's a great idea. Get somebody ugly to do it. Put somebody hot out there. That's a great idea. Use them.

Take their voice. Don't give them any money. Love it. Get the 17-year-old Frump dump to save the movie. Yep. Yep. Oh, good. So they started a long time ago learning about how we can be kept in the shadows to make

money for men. Yep. Good. I know that's not... Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! See, this is my challenges. And then everybody, everybody, everybody gets and just come on! Ah! I wish she wasn't 17 though, man. I know, and she's got a little penis hat on. This is the fashion hats of the 1920s. Looks like she's got a little, like a little head. Looks like it's about to erupt. Kissing a child. Well, they're standing in the rain and he's really happy. So surely you can anticipate what song is coming next.

Yes, I am ready for it. Fever. He had a fever. And he's on a sound stage, by the way. But also, I'm glad he had a fever. Everything that you're saying about Gene Kelly, I know. he's not a beatist or anything, but it does seem like he was really in love with himself. And I do feel that sometimes people that are really in love with themselves have to have a

fever when they dance in the rain. And here's the thing. Yes, I did read his biography, but also I was 10 and I had no analysis of like gender or power. So he might have actually been a piece of shit and it just would have washed right over me because I worshiped him. I completely understand. So I think I might need to go back and learn about.

I might need to re-read it. I might need to go back to the Dubuque Public Library and find the autobiography that I read in 1996. Yes. But, yes, this is a famous scene. He is on a soundstage. It is raining heavily. He is very sick.

And he is just singing and dancing in the rain. Oh, he's singing and he's dancing. And the thing about Gene Kelly's, He's not a huge vocal. He can sing, but he's no Frank Sinatra. You're not going to get blown away by his singing. So the first, like, two verses of every song, you're kind of like, whatever. But then the dancing comes in, and that's when it starts.

I mean then the dancing hits. Do you want me to read a quote that might ruin how you feel about Gene Kelly? Yes. Give it to me. Debbie Reynolds claimed that Gene Kelly essentially shoved his tongue down her throat while shooting a scene on the set of singing in the rain. She said, it was early 1950s, and I was an innocent kid who had never been French kissed.

It felt like an assault. I was stunned that this 39-year-old man would do this to me. Jean had stepped back, not amused. After a few minutes, I calmed down enough to face his now, icy stare, and we redid the scene as you see it in the film. Reynolds was 17 at the time. Oh, no. She also claimed Kelly,

came to rehearsals and criticized everything I, did and never gave me a word of encouragement. But he did later admit to being cruel to Debbie Reynolds, and he said, I wasn't very nice to Debbie. I'm surprised she still speaks to me. Wow. So he knew that he was bad. All right.

And of the time period, not as bad of a gation as you could imagine. I mean, back then that wasn't even a gation, you know. It wasn't a gation. I mean, I had to look for this. I'm not making excuses. that is bad. It doesn't surprise me, of course. I mean, I can't believe she was 17.

I can't believe she was 17. But for also at the same time, though, when men could literally get away with anything, the fact that that is all he did is really not that bad. Yeah, certainly a divo. Yeah. Certainly a divo. That's not great.

But we had to look into it, MJ. It's not because I want you to hate Gene Kelly, because honestly, that doesn't make me hate Gene Kelly. Yeah. He just knew how good he was. I think that's right. And he was an asshole. Yeah.

Asshole to women. I mean, I would have unfortunately been shocked if he was good to women, you know. I also imagine he was probably an asshole to everybody. Right. So at least if you're that good, unfortunately, I feel like that does make you feel like you can be better than other people. Yeah. But can you imagine being soaking wet in a full three-piece suit in leather shoes and then doing an extensive tap dance number.

No. Yeah, this cop is like, what, buddy, should I arrest you? He should have put the swimming cap on. Made sure that, you know, the penis hat. But that song is like an icon of happiness. It certainly is. I didn't realize it was like a love happiness, which makes a lot of sense. Nice.

He's like a euphoric. I just kissed the girl I love song. Yeah, that's awesome. He looks like a rat. you really don't like RF. I can't get over this fuck. I think he just looks like a classic old man of the time. They were scary.

All the old men back then were scary. Scary men. It is also interesting to how none of them had beards. Good point. Why did none of them? I guess it was just, I mean, simply not the fashion of the time. But I feel like specifically RF would really benefit from a beard. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't have a chin. It would elevate him to daddy right away.

Yes, it would because it's, it's the mouth and the chin. That's the problem. Look at everyone's suit is a three-piece suit. RFs is a double-breasted suit. Don Lockwood's is a, is Nickerbockers, which, you know, can't even look. Look at that front seam though, down Cosmo's pants. I know. Perfect. God. So basically, they were like, how do we, how the fuck do we convert this movie to a musical in six weeks? And Cosmo's like, call it the dancing cavalier, have the musical part be a flashback. So you're going to like do all the normal shit

with the normal costumes you've already, you're already set up for, and then make like a little musical flashback on the middle of it. And so poor Kathy is now on the hook to do the voiceover for everything, not only the songs, but also all of Lena's dialogue.

Oh my God. With no credit, of course. Well, I think that they, said, I think they told her they're going to put her, like, name into credits. Well, she'll put at least at the front of the movie, so you have to see. Meanwhile, I'm not sure if that's Debbie Reynolds's singing voice. It must be, but it doesn't sound anything like her. I'm kind of looking up.

Would you? Nope. Not her singing voice? Why? They sing in the rain. So you did the same, you singing in the rain, this fucking bitch named Betty Noyes, who was the professional fucking singer who did it for Debbie Reynolds. So, fuck.

What? See, you can hear it. It doesn't sound like her. It doesn't sound like her. They sing in the rained Debbie Reynolds. What? And can we scream her name from the, from the mountaintops? Betty Noyes.

Betty Noyes. Betty Noyes sang the fucking songs. I mean, to be fair, it's really only this scene. But still, point taken. We don't disappear women anymore. Okay, so, oh, it's only this scene? There's not a, yeah. Although I wonder, there's a scene at the end.

Well, I'm going to stop, but we're going to look it up at the end. Oh. There is more singing in the future. See, so RF is like, once the movie comes out, we're going to say that it was Kathy who did it. Oh, my gosh, there's another trippy scene coming, Jackie. Get ready. Yes. A complete fucking fever dream impending.

If you want to take. some LSD, now's the time. I mean, you should have told me that I needed LSD for singing in the rain. I forgot about the weird fever dream scenes. This is the musical flashback or whatever. They flicker them. This is a Broadway flashback for some reason. Needless.

So you said Gene Kelly also started in vaudeville and moved his way into silent movies and then also into the talkies? Well, no, Gene Kelly would have been too old for that. Buster Keaton started in vaudeville. Sorry, I'm so sorry. Yeah, I could be, yes. Okay, that. I think Gene Kelly's first movie that I saw was made in the 30s, but it was about vaudeville. But he would have come up.

If this was 1952 and he was 39, he would have come up in like the 30s in the, in the Depression era. I think the first movie I saw him in was for me and my gal, which was I think 1939, which with Judy Garland. Oh. He's been a movies with everybody, Frank Sinatra, Judy Garland. I know he's a contemporary of Frank Sinatra, but are they the same? Like, are they, like, actually, like, I'm just a look up how. Look, they were in a couple movies together.

They were in On the Town together and Anchors Away together. I think they're about the same age. I think Gene Kelly was a little older. And he was called, they used to sit in director's chairs next to each other. And on the back of Gene Kelly's chair, it said, The Feet. and on the back of Frank Sinatra's chair it said the voice. Oh, that's cute. So he was the feat and Sinatra was the voice.

Oh, yeah, Frank Sinatra was only literally three years older than him. So that's, I knew they were both around the same time. I just wasn't quite sure. Yeah, they made a lot of movies together. Gene Kelly from Pittsburgh. Oh, the pit. Oh, the pit. Oh, the pit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa, like that fit too. Yeah, see, I'm telling you, Fever Dream. Why is this happening? This is such a weird scene. Yeah, what is happening right now? Wait a second. I don't, I see this movie 75 to 100 times.

I'm not sure if I know what's happening. I think that this is supposed to be the like flashback that the character in the dueling cavalier has, but that doesn't make any sense. Oh. I like it, and I think that makes the most sense. I think that's as close as I'm going to come to an explanation for what's happening. Love it.

I, you know what? I just want to say thank you, MJ, for fielding all of my many thousands of questions. It's almost like you live at home with a five-year-old and a six-year-old, and you are used to someone just slamming you with a million questions that you may or may not know the answer to. Here's what it is, Jackie. I've been waiting since 19. For 1996 for anyone else to show an interest in this movie. So I'm really happy to field your questions. I am really enjoying this.

And thank you for showing it to me. And thank you for fielding all of my questions. But also with the yellow vest, MJ, you need a yellow vest, dude. Yeah, I know. I want to recreate every single one of his outfits. This fit, you would fucking slay. I this is my singular gender icon Gene Kelly in this movie specifically

And I've seen all of these movies, but it's this movie That shaped me Maybe you can start being I don't want to call you a weirdo freak But maybe you can start wearing tap shoes everywhere And a yellow vest Now speaking of weirdo freaks I still don't know who this bitch is

why she's here, what she has to do with anything else in the movie. We are about to enter like a protracted, long, horny dance. It looks like poison ivy. You know what I mean? Like it's like, whoa. Bobbo, Bobbo. Why is that guy cut in the face? Did we ever find out why his face is sliced?

We'd ever find out anything about this number. I'm already regretting that I said that this is a tight movie. It's not tight. entire scene could be. I mean, I like it because there's dancing. I think it is a tight movie because this is still fun and I'm still swallowed into it because I'm like, what the fuck is going on? But I like it.

I also, fit talk right now. I like how the green in the stripes of his shirt weirdly match the green in her fit. And I love this combo together. and you know what, MJ, you really didn't sell me hard enough on how, even if it's just in my brain, how sexy this movie is. It is sexy. And one of his other famous movies called An American in Paris has also a 20-minute ballet in the middle. And this is not exactly a ballet, but it's like a 20-minute sign, you know, like there's no dialogue. It's just a 20-minute musical number.

And I guess I wonder if this is a, tell me, guys, does this happen in any? other movies, just like a 20-minute musical interlude in the middle of a movie musical that's like a extremely protracted long exploratory dance sequence.

Yeah. It's very weird, but at least one of his other movies does the same thing. So maybe it was a product of its time. He might have also directed that movie. So maybe this is a Gene Kelly choice where he's just like, give me.

Oh, that's right, because he directed it. So maybe this is, just him being a weirdo. Maybe this is him being like, give me 20 to 30 minutes to just tell a story in dance with no dialogue. Which, don't get me wrong. Like, I get, that is a special thing about dance, right? I've watched some of Natalie's performances and really learned a lot of what you can do with dance. And it's been really beautiful to watch. So maybe it was something like, because this is my art. And I want a showcase. of my art in the middle of a movie I'm director.

Right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, maybe it's as simple as that. This is like, I'm the director, I'm a dancer, I want a 20-minute dialogue-free dance scene in the middle of the movie. And it's telling the story of this ambitious dancer. And then the way this fits into the rest of the story is that this character who's having this dance dream sequence

gets hit on the head, falls asleep, and has the dream that is the movie, the dueling cavalier. It's a stretch. Also, sidebar, I was looking up other movies that Gene Kelly has directed, but his last words

were, the song has ended, but the melody lingers on. What? Talk about it. Those were his last word. words. He must have planned that, right?

The song has ended, but the melody lingers on. Yeah, man. What a diva. But also MJ, you should really memorize that and have it be your last words. That should be my last words. That's how I'll finally become I'll be there and I'll let everybody know.

Those were all. So Gene Kelly's last word, like I'll let everybody know. This is crazy. This scene is not even over yet. It's a long dream sequence. It's a long dream sequence. But I'm not here judging you, MJ. Thank you. Because you know what?

Okay. Everybody that has seen their favorite movie 100 million times, we all have portions of that movie that may not be your favorite. Doesn't mean that there might be a portion that you don't like, but it just might not be your favorite. And then when you show it to somebody else, you feel extra vulnerable. You're so hyper-al-year. I don't even really like this part. So you must hate this part. And it's like, that's not true.

But what if it's 30 minutes and what if it's a really weird, inexplicable dance ballet? But this is also like weirdly horny seductive. Like, you know this is for me. This is horny. This is. I don't know if it would be for everybody, but it's definitely for me. Yeah. Yeah.

But I like to watch dancing. Yeah, I love to watch dancing. This is the thing. I never fast forwarded through this. there's this not the love is gone for me as i'll watch it because it's dance i get you no i think just having natalie and my family has made me learn and appreciate a lot about the world of dance yeah which is nice it's such a like it's the opposite of what we do what we do is so it is yes yes and i love and we tell and not show yes and they show and not tell and that is

it is so foreign to what we do. And I've always been so interested in how, yes, how the body can tell a story. Yes. That's why I always love, and it's why MJ, you and I both love ice skating. We love to watch in the Winter Olympics. We love to watch the ice dance. And not for nothing, puppeteering too. Like obviously plenty of puppeteering, you know, you have words and stuff.

But puppeteering and it's hard is how can you use objects and your body to, to make something come alive, you know? Right. And dance is like, how can you just evoke every spectrum, every part of the spectrum of human emotion without a single word? Damn. Oh, you ain't kissing your 17-year-old. Yeah, maybe he wasn't a classic case.

He kisses her and goes, those lips are too old. Too old for me to be kissing. Maybe he liked women. I just assumed that he liked men, but maybe he liked women. I don't know. That kiss wasn't really... He's a passionate, MJ. Terrible kisser. And again, baby they just taught

kissing on screen differently. Yeah. But I feel like I've never watched... Again, I'm fairly new to old movies. I haven't watched a lot of old movies, especially old movies with kissing. And I just feel like oftentimes they look like they either don't know what they're doing

or they look bad at it. Bad, very bad. Yeah. It's always like a little aggressive. I am thinking about Jimmy Stewart. And, you know. A lot of like grabbing of the face and the neck where you're like, you don't need to hold me down while you do it. Right.

If I'm here willingly, you don't need to grasp my face. Yes. And I feel like there's sometimes there's a little bit of that. Yes. But I'll tell you what gave me a complete fucking hard on for the idea of New York City and Broadway is this weird dream sequence. I'm fucking bat, dude. Yeah. Don't worry.

It's almost over. He's like, oh, a young version of myself. Look at you, you young buck. Go join Broadway like I did. Yeah, bitch. Yeah, bitch. Yeah, bitch. Got a dance.

We got a dance, everybody. We've all got to dance. Come on, everybody. We've got dancing to do. And isn't it nice? But again, it's still a dream. sequence though, right? It's all still a dreams dream sequence. Extremely long dream sequence.

The movie is almost over. But isn't it nice that Gene Kelly was just like, yeah, I'll make a movie. But I needed to feel like a Broadway musical. Yeah, I love this. I need to just do like a 30 minute dance sequence for no reason because I needed to feel like a stage show.

And again, the same thing happens in his other really famous movie, American of Paris, another really long, really weird. dance sequence. But does he got to sing? Does he got a day?

No, that one's even weirder because it's more ballet-based. Oh, does he do ballet? A little bit. Interesting. Is he specifically known for just his tap? Or is he known for dancing in general?

He's known for tap, but American in Paris, he falls in love with a ballet dancer. So his co-star is a ballet. So it's a mix of tap and ballet. Now, Kathy's overdubbing all her dialogue. Like the thankless workhorse that women are meant to be.

And Cosmo, he's just, he's, he's there. He's like, yeah, I'll be in the sound booth. I don't have a job. Yeah, what does he do? He's like, bro, you just always have time to be around, watch us, kiss. Okay. Yeah. I would wear this outfit of Don's as well.

I would wear every outfit that he wears in this movie. Also, it's supposed to be romantic and you're still calling her a fan, but. All right. My husband also was a fan, but I call him my husband and not a fan. But it's fine. Lena found out. Whoa. Damn.

Oh, everyone knows you're in love with me. I hate you, Lena. Whoa. Okay. MJ, not to flip this on its ass. I know that she was feeling jealous, but let's... Let's also be real. He's pulled away.

And he never wanted her from the beginning. And how does that feel? Yeah. He should have told Lena, I'm not attracted to you. I'm not into you. I don't want to be with you. I'm going to put up a facade and I'm going to go stup this 17-year-old. Yeah.

And he should have just said that. No, this is that you're right. So an awakening I'm having upon this viewing is that Lena is awesome. I always thought Lena was a huge bitch. She's doing what she can, and I understand sometimes, you know, you want to get rid of a bitch if she's busting out of a cake and try to fuck your man. Dama something? Yeah, Lena is, she's not the hero of the movie, but she's great. No, but bitch, take care of yourself.

Yeah. So she's, Lena went to the fucking Papps and she was like, bitches, run this headline. I'm a great singer and I'm a great talker. Whoa. She's controlling the name. She's the Blake lively. Before the NDAs. Now that's why we have to sign all the goddamn NDAs.

Lena's the reason. Fucking sharp bitched Lena. No, you wouldn't because she's your star. She's like, what, you're going to call me a liar, you assholes? Yeah, maybe Lena is the hero. I love this bitch. I love her hat, I'll tell you that. Walk into that fucking room owned by men and be like,

I got you by the fucking nuts. You idiots. Oh, you thought you were going to do. I love this bitch. Fuck yeah. I can sue. Keep employing me. Keep paying me and keep using this bitch as my voice.

Yes, bitch. I'm sorry, MJ. I'm not trying to be a contrarian against you. You know that's not usually my game. We have to see things with fresh eyes. And with fresh eyes, I can see that. But I understand why as a young person you hate this character. Of course.

Of course. Why you hate this character. I get that. No, but she's like, you can't give Kathy Selden credit for being my voice. You're going to ruin my public image? Are you out of your mind? Boss-ass bitch, man. Fuck no.

Yeah, you're going to do what you did to this bitch whose name I already forgot. Who's the actual singing voice of Debbie Reynolds. I need to look it up again. I will look it up again. No, yes. Something no-y-y-y-ish. No, I really lost a lot to Kathleen Freeman. Gremlin's too.

I can't believe you spotted her from Gremlins too in Hocus Pocus. I really can't believe that, Jackie. Thank you. Thank you. She's a very, I'll send you a picture of what she looks like. And you'd be like, oh, oh. Oh, yeah. So now Lena's like, make her, give her a contract where she has to be my voice and only my voice.

and only my voice. Ooh, that's great. Yes, bitch. And she's like, you have to do whatever I say, bitch, because I'm your star. And thanks to Kathy Selden, everyone thinks I have a great fucking voice, dick. Yes, bitch.

So bowed down to me. And here we are at the red carpet premiere again, just where we started. And we're almost done, guys. But don't worry, there's going to be a fucking... You keep saying it like we're all. all ready for it to be over. We're enjoying ourselves, MJ.

I'm like, okay, maybe I'm tapping into how insecure I felt as a 10-year-old. But don't be, don't. I love this. I can just promise you that this, I, well, I'll tell you this, I showed my kids the, the good morning scene the other night and they were like, can we watch the end scene also? Because the end scene is so good. So I'm just going to tease that. Lamont, what a voice.

It's not hers. And Kathy doesn't know. Kathy doesn't know that Lena has seized the narrative. Whoa, it's like Scotty doesn't know, but it's worse. It is funny to me since I do think that Gene Kelly's singing voice is pretty mid. Yes, bitch. Yeah, but it's still, but it works. It works.

It's fine. You don't need to, you don't need a Debbie Reynolds or, you know. No. Everyone's like, yes. I'm not going to email you this picture because it won't let me put it in the chat. This is really important. When was the last time, MJ, that you watched Gremlins 2? Maybe one to two Christmases ago.

Okay, great. Then I just sent you the picture of Kathleen Freeman and Gremlins 2. It is this important. I'm looking. Oh, sure. That bitch. Yep. I can't believe you spotted her from a movie from 1952, Jackie.

I really can't. I've been shocked. Because yes, she does look like herself, but also it could be any old lady. She's a character actress. It's like a... Wow. Specifically because I want to be her. Because I want that...

I want that trajectory. Okay. Now I'm getting too old. Oh, now she's pissed. Oh, God. Everyone's pissed. And Lena's like, keep being my voice, bitch. I want to go out and give a speech and I want to have...

they're like, she's like, I want to get my accolades. She's like, oh, see, you got to work for me for the rest of your life, girl. Whoa. She's like, fine. Go be with your 17-year-old bitch. I'll be famous without you. Fuck yeah, bitch. Yep.

Lena's taking it all. In the time period when all these women were just run on uppers and downers and sidewaysers and benders and ups. Oh, no. Except she's like, I'm going to go make a speech. And they're like, what? You can't make a speech, girl. No one knows your real voice. Oh, but that's going to be her downfall.

No. No, our boss ass bitch. Oh, it's not that bad, everybody. Stop it. Everyone's like, what the fuck? Stop it. I've empathy for her. Stop it.

I love to bring some joy into your humdrum lives. Your humdrum lives. And everyone's like, what? Cut the talk, Lena Singh. Yeah, Lena Singh. Sing. We're supposed to lift her up. I know.

This is not a movie about women lifting each other up. It certainly is not. The women tear each other down. Content note. The only one good woman. The only good woman is a child, but she is good at it. Yeah, they're going to feel that one good girl. Okay, but wait for it.

So it seems like they're making Kathy do it. They're like, go sing for Lena. We don't care what you say. Go do it. She says, I'll do it. But I never want to see you again. How dare you make me go sing for Lena, you asshole? And she's right.

She's like, what the fuck am I going to sing? She's going to sing, singing in the rain. Hey, that. Whoa, she's grabbing titties. It looks like they're all fucking rubbing knockers right now. Rub the knockas, rub the knockas. So now Kathy is singing as her voice. behind the curtain.

No one can see Kathy, but she is right behind a curtain live on stage. But it's not fair for her. And she's sad. She's so sad. But don't worry. Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor are right offstage and they got a plan, Jackie. No, man, she should just fucking rip her skin off and then put on her skin.

Is that how this movie ends? It ends as an end as a body horror. And then she wears her skin. He's like, I am heena. I am. I'm Lena. Oh, no. Everyone know.

They're pulling the curtain up. They're pulling the curtain up. That is not the end of this movie. They're pulling the curtain up. Now everybody sees that Kathy is singing for her. Everyone's laughing. She's still a boss, bitch. Stop laughing at her.

Lena is humiliating. Donald O'Codder's going to take the mic. I'm ready for love. Oh, Lena, take that. Take you and your coup. Stop that girl. We just humiliated her. public. She's the real star. She's 17 years old. She should be in high school. And I

shove my tongue into her mouth, whether she wants it or not. I'm 35. Well, every lady I meet, I meet a tongue first. Now I'm saying the boring song that you all fast forwarded through. Yeah, give me a holes. Give me a hole. I feel like that's. really what it's all going to, you know, boil down to here. I can't believe she's 17 and she would go on to give birth to Carrie Fisher. Wow. You know? I think she wasn't a very good mom, but I'm not going to hold that against her.

But you know what, MJ, maybe we'll be reading that memoir in the future. I imagine we will be because apparently Carrie Fisher's memoir is top-knock. She has a couple of memoirs and I think they're all good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we will certainly be learning more about Debbie Reynolds. And this is a way that I bond with my husband. I'm like, you love Carrie Fisher. I love her mother.

There you go. Debbie Reynolds. That is a cute bond. Yeah. And so they, you know, they, he's 39. She's 17 and I guess they live happily ever after. And now they're singing in the rain together. They made a movie.

It's all very meta. It's like the Muppet movie. Wait, they got to go back and reshoot. movie? It's like how when the Muppet movie they've been making a movie the whole time I think it's like that. I don't know. Don't think about that part too hard. Honestly, up next is

Casa Blanca and I've also never seen Casablanca. I should also rewatch Casablanca. We should, oh my God, I would love to do it. Never seen Casablanca. I think it's probably like two and a half hours long as the only old, epic, classic movie I've genuinely ever seen is gone with the wind. And that I watched, you remember.

not that long ago. I watched it on a plane. Not that long ago. I've never seen the I've never seen the Wizard of Oz. I've never seen any of it. So is it a missing portion of my childhood and upbringing? Yes. But you know what guys? You know, while therapy is also here for us as we get older, so are page seven watch along. So this is the time that we need to do it. And maybe it's not that it is happening so late. It's that isn't it nice that I waited to do it together? There's, I mean, you know, I've never seen nothing but trouble. Whoa.

So like we all have things we've seen. We've all have things we haven't seen. Yes. And I think that it's not a judgment. Thank you. But I'm very grateful to you, Jackie, for watching this movie with me. I hope that you enjoyed it. I genuinely enjoyed it.

It was a blast. I love that also these classic movies do lend it. to watch-alongs because they do have like long things like dance scenes where we can just sit and talk. Yeah. This actually weirdly does work out really well. I don't know if every classic movie is going to be like that. Yeah. But I really enjoyed this.

And this is the thing. Every time I watch a classic movie, I'm like, damn, that was really good. But I never choose to sit and watch it. Exactly. I get it. I get it because you're like, it's not going to be slow. Is it going to be? I'm not going to have to focus.

But yeah, like, this is a, like, sexy movie about movies. Yeah. And thank you so much for sharing this with me and with all of us. I will say, I am sorry that, of course, I had to see if there were any gaitions. And I do apologize that I had to. But, like, the slightest of gaitions, like, the mildest of gations in a world of rampant gaysions. Yeah, the mildest of gations. And it is, sadly, that is where my bar is now.

In hell. It is in hell. And there's only so much you can handle every second of every day. And we just got to keep on, keeping on. And I want to say, everybody, thanks so much for joining us on this week's episode of Second Helpings. You needed a little bit more. And that was in the form of singing in the rain. And I hope you had a good time.

Because I had a great time. I had a great time too. That's a big second helping for you. I hope you are having an okay week, everybody. And we will be back with our regular programming next week. We love you guys. Have a great weekend. And we will be back next week.

Bye, everybody. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.