Page 7 - Second Helpings - STAY PRAYED UP

Episode Date: March 28, 2025

GET UR BIBS ON AND GRAB A SPOON, Jackie and MJ are back to serve up some sloppy, slimy leftovers to (hopefully) satisfy all your quivering, begging earholes! MJ's livin' their best life with back to back 'The Pitt' episodes and 'Temptation Island' (2025 The Reboot) per Jackie's suggestion. White Lotus was an experience for all those watching and got everyone sayin' 'I've been fucked up....But I ain't ever been THAT fucked up', but Gud Pud Jackie probably enjoyed it ps SPOILERYNESS STARTS AROUND 11:40 til 27:00 (I think that's it?) In a similarly mortifying fashion, Gwen Stefani is partnering with a bunch of other uber religious celebs to release a Jesus app called 'Hallow' that'll help you 'STAY PRAYED UP' with Mark Wahlberg!.......for $9.99 a month. MJ loves Season 1 'Severance' and Jackie's saying Season 2 is just as good, regardless of reviews. The most recent season of 'Love Is Blind' has conservatives foaming at the mouth because of two female contestants drawing the line at hateful religions, a listener gave Jackie a complex by letting them know that Benny Blanco is a bad bad man because he....ruined Maroon 5? More? Sabrina Carpenter keeps unjustly getting shit as well as praise for being 'too sexy', and if that ain't just a summation of being a female presenting human for the past ~12000 years. This delves into a deeper conversation of why the responsibility of raising a generation of girls was placed upon a teenage Britney Spears shoulders when all she wanted to do was sing and dance. Sabrina also collaborated with the one and only Dolly Parton to release a new version of 'Please, Please, Please' with a MV that tells the rest of the tale from the first video! Jennifer Coolidge is braggin' 'bout gettin' laid from her acting roles and now she's attracted to deeply unavailable meeeeeeen. Jackie gives a positively glowing review of 'Best in Show' with suggestion to watch any movie by Christopher Guest, and the bad reviews just keep rollin' in as 'The Baldwins' puts everyone to sleep. And it's not just from the nitrous from their child armies pediatric dentist office.Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We'll make you the second time. Oh, my God. It's the second helpings, everybody. We're going to make it better the second time around. Just me and MJ. How the hell are you feeling today, MJ? Oh, well, you know, we are all learning not to lead with that question in these times. Oh, is that, are we, is everyone tense?

I literally right before we started recording had to breathe out and go, why is my chest tight already? Yeah. You know, it's nine o'clock in the morning. You know, I got to chill out. Yeah. You got to chill out, guys. I know everything's on fire. He was literally on fire, not that long ago, but now everything is.

But we're just going to, you know, but think about what Ben Affleck's going through. And, you know, you listed all the interviews because Ben Affleck, he seems like he's having a rough time too. So if Ben Affleck's having a rough time, then it's okay. Then all of us are having a rough time. Well, I'm dealing with my absolutely overwhelming anxiety by just, watching the pit and I feel, I feel alive. I feel. No, you don't feel alive.

The pit makes you feel alive. MJ, I think that's a cry for help. I feel scared. I think my body chemistry has realigned such that if I'm not in a panic, things don't feel right, you know? Oh, it feels like you're not relaxing because all of the television you're watching is so panic-inducing that that's the only way you technically feel relaxed anymore. And life, you know.

Again, I do. I keep seeing people and being like, how are you? And then you get this like disappointed blank stare back when you ask how someone's doing. I'm like ebbing on a glare. I feel like it really hits a point. I think that it's so dark in all of our brains that you can't help but give that bitchy glare. If anyone asks you anything about yourself. Yeah.

Are you really asking me how I'm doing? Are you fucking serious? Me? Oh, me? And if you answer like that, then honestly, I feel like you don't have to give them a full answer. if you just go, me? Well, I think they get it. Yeah, this is why you told me to watch Temptation Island.

And you're right. Because if you want to feel the opposite of the pit, put on the reboot of Netflix's temptation. That exactly, MJ, that was my hope for you. Temptation Island. All right. World's getting you down. Watching everything that's putting you into a horrific spiral. Watch you shut you.

your brain and your eyes and your nose and your ears off put on Temptation Island the reboot starring on Netflix for some reason they have rebooted the show and I say for some reason it was technically successful it has been this is the third time it is being rebooted because the last time they were like please guys we got it this time boys and then of course that failed again and so Netflix has now picked it up so if you search Temptation Island you're And you go, which version of Temptation Island just put in 2025 so that you can find it because it has existed in multiple places? And multiple countries. The Montoya Porfavor is Temptation Island's Espania. Yes. Moldoya Bonfavor. And I am surprised because I am now more intrigued by that version of Temptation Island because they were watching the couples in real time. For those of you, okay, quick.

quick synop for those of you that cannot tell the difference between all of these horrific dating reality shows, and I understand you. So Temptation Island is where they take regular couples, couples that are at the point, which is so funny to me, of you are either going to marry me or you're going to fuck one of those sluts in the house. Yeah. And those are the options for these empty-headed men. When we say regular couples, we mean the worst people you could possibly imagine. And I'm so glad I made you watch this. So then all of the women go into a house filled with hunks, and all of the men go into a house filled with sluts,

and every couple of days, Mark L. Wahlberg, not Mark Wahlberg. Mark L. Wahlberg, the 62-year-old man with graying hair and huge white veneers, will come and let you know what your partner is doing, in the other house. They will show them footage of what's going on in the other house and what has happened

over a couple of days. And then in the end, they have to decide like, well, you banged all those sluts, are you still gonna marry me? And that is what the show should be called.

Yeah, you banged all those sluts. Are you still gonna marry me? Are you still gonna marry me? They're all here because they're like, our relationship is at a precipice. And we have seen, there's so many shows like, there's the ultimatum,

which is another scenario that if you're in that scenario, you have lost, You don't want to be. You've already lost. You don't, if, if you are in, and I'm not saying this with judgment, it sounds judgmental, but I'm actually saying, like, this is. I'm judging.

If you go to one of those dating shows. But I've been, I've had friends in this scenario, like, it is common. You get to this point somewhere in your, somewhere in the spectrum of your 30s, where people start panicking and they do start living in an ultimatum scenario where they're like, you have to either marry me or leave me. And, you know, so it is a, I think what's good about the ultimatum is a show is it's a, it's a if you've gotten there something bad has happened in your relationship but it is a very relatable thing like we all know people who have been in that situation this however less

relatable because they are literally like we're here because like we want to really commit to each other and this is just like the test to make sure we can do it and if you think that your partner is like a panting dog who can't be around people of the other gender put a ring on it that's the only way you can get them to stay. I think that it's so smart. You know, maybe try for a baby. I've also heard that's a really great way of like just like sewing them. Oh yes, the band-a-baby. Yes. I think that all of those people should read Britney Spears's memoir, The Woman and Me. I think that they could learn a thing or two about maybe you don't need to be in the relationship with that. If you have to send them in, you have to, send them into.

were a house full of sluts. I know that I shouldn't. I'm not judging them sexually. I'm judging them based on the fact that I couldn't name any of those women. And they weren't trying to let you know what any of their women, like the women's names are or the men. Like I couldn't tell any of them apart. Yeah. I'm not trying to get too deep here.

Like I know we talked about adolescence last week. But I do think that this show is like a symptom of a decaying society, you know. Like we're over here. Talk about how men don't even know how to ask women on a date. Why? They're on the computer too much. And then I turned on this show and I'm just like, what? I don't understand.

And I'm not sure if we're okay is the society. It makes me want to like dig my own hole. I want to ostrich and just be like, you know what, man, you guys are doing you. My ass is in the air. All right. And if you want to come look at this ass that's in the air, you can. I won't know my head's in the ground. Don't look for me down here.

I watched the entire season, MJ. I hated it. I hated every second of it. There's no reason to watch it. It's not good. It's not entertaining. There were many moments where I would fast forward through sections. But then Jeff just kept being like, why are you watching it?

I don't know. I don't know, MJ. I needed to see what if, secretly, it was the greatest dating reality show of all time. Well, and you and I share the, the, the, a common goal, which is to ultimately receive a lobotomy and, and make our, you know, make our longstanding emotional angst end. I certainly understand why I'm only prescribed 0.25 Xanaxes. You know what I mean? I think it's for the best. Right. It's like, give me the baby ones. I don't need a lot because honestly, I'd rather just watch a temptation island than take a pill. Yeah. To feel like I've watched Temptation.

I'm just going to watch We don't want to get ourselves in a dangerous situation with substances, chemicals and so we watch temptation island. Just watch temptation island. It is a baby's antics. I'm just if you like

I will say it spikes the blood pressure every once well. You'll hear him say something. I believe that you wrote the quote down My guilty pleasure is sucking dick. My guilty pleasure is sucking dick. My guilty pleasure is sucking dick. I want to get that tattooed on the inside of my lip.

Like the Taco Bell girl's from. It would be really difficult to show me. I don't know. Keep going. I don't know. Look at you by my molar. But then I'm ready to rest of it. You know, I'm like, let me show you my tattoo.

And then I'd be like, good news for you. You know. Yeah. My guilty pleasure is sucking dick. No, that's good. That's a sign that the show is good, actually. It's a great show. It, I, you know what?

I guess this is not even spoiling it. One point, one of the girls was like, it's going to be fine. We have like, we sat down. rules he can like be tempted but he cannot touch he can be tempted but he cannot touch the immediate the first footage that she looks at is this just say it can't remember name this slut was dancing up on him grinding on him hands all over his chest and then she swoops down his body with his her hand grazing all the way down and then her hand stops with her face in front of his dick and then she looks up at him and he goes ooh, who, you're going to be trouble.

And then the woman burst into tears and says, that's what he said to me when he kissed me for the first time. Yes. And that is when I was like, oh, I mean, I love this. Oh, your guilty pleasure of sucking dick. But then also, okay, we're up. Okay, wow. She was shattered.

But surprisingly, she goes and fucks other. people to get back in them. And if that's not beauty, communication, like that is, wow, they don't stay together in the end. Sorry. Okay. Well, you know what? Speaking of sucking and fucking, it is Friday after the Sunday that White Lotus comes out. Oh, so it's time for us to talk about White Lotus. Is that what you're saying? I think it is time for us to discuss White Lotus. Jackie and I had a discussion. We had a programming note meeting before this show to discuss. Are we Not only six hours after the show had shown via the headlines, it was immediately spoiled for me. So we do generally on the talking TV, this is, you know, talking TV's been incorporated into second helpings.

We always, you know, try either not to spoil things or to give spoiler alerts. I think we cannot talk about White Lotus without talking about what happened in this episode of White Lotus. Wow. So spoiler alert for White Lotus. I know some of you, we've literally heard from people who are like, I listen while working and I can't always pause the show, which is why we have. started doing the mouth sound segment at the back so that hopefully you could just turn it off. But also if you can pause, if you can skip ahead 10 minutes. If you have eyes, even if you don't listen or watch White Lotus, you have heard about what happened in the last episode of White Lotus.

I think that's right. I have been asked a couple of questions about like, what's happening on that show because of this scene. Okay. So yes, we are about to start talking about the scene because once you hear what the scene is, you're going to understand why we need to talk about it. Okay. We're about to talk about it. So, first of all, you cannot imagine the horror with which I watched this episode. And in my head, what was repeating in my brain except you and me on last week's second helpings being like, it wasn't that incesty.

Like, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't kiss my brother. But it was about more than incest. It was about this whole experience. It was the experience. It's so it's not. And then this week's episode, I was like, oh, no. Mouth agape. Like, Jeff and I just kept looking over.

over each other cartoonishly, mouth just like, yeah. What? What? No. What? Every flashback. What? This is so, my experience with watching White Lotus, too. Like, usually, you know, getting in and I will watch a show, we'll laugh, we'll talk,

or whatever. But, like, you know, I've always been a pretty, like, quiet TV watcher. And I'm watching White Lotus. And every episode, I'm just going like, oh, my God. Or like, you know, the whole, can I be an Asian girl monologue from last week? I was just like doubled over laughing. It is, this show is doing things for me in terms of joy and engagement. And like, it's just character development.

Character development. It's so interesting. The mirroring and like what Mike White is doing with this show, there's so many layers to it. You know, to a point that I have even heard the like, oh, I'm so annoyed with hearing about White Lotus at this point. I've also heard that aspect of it from a lot of people that aren't watching White Lotus. But I'm like, there's a reason why it's this much of a phenomenon, though. Like, there is a reason why we've talked about this, especially like with our flashbacks and stuff like that. This is not a monoculture anymore.

There's so much happening at all times. Very rarely is it something that like, talk about unifying how many people are watching White Lotus. And obviously, I don't mean politically unifying because, you know, it's still, I'm fairly sure it's a pretty, liberal show. Right, right. Who knows, you know, there's probably more people watching the good doctor. But in our... And reacher. Honestly, if we're going to talk about a unified show, I think it might be a reacher. And that's, I think that's fine. I think I'm happy for a reacher to be that. Yes, but White Lotus, it's just... Oh my God. It's just such an interesting way that you can tell that Mike White develops characters and also must include them in the creation and in what he's

is making for them. He must include the actors and actresses because unbelievable work is done in the show. It really is. Parker Posey with the I love my seat. Like that whole one she's like, I could never go back. I could never be

not rich. Oh yeah. I could never. I'd rather be dead. I'd rather be dead than live uncomfortably. Yes. That was just a low key. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Jason Isaac's saying nothing, saying everything. Just such, man, how many scenes can be set up of just small moments that can blow you away?

Yes. That even the unpacking of what happens between Patrick Schwarzenegger and his brother's character and how it comes to light where he's like, I've never, he's like, yeah, of course I've been in a threesome before. She's like, oh yeah, you were last night with your brother. And that was just What? The, like the way that they have Patrick Schwarzenegger's character Wake up.

So good. He is so good in this goddamn show. He's doing such a good job. But like, yes, it's like the writing and the acting together. It's just this. It really is creating this transcendent experience. But the way, I mean, none of us have ever been that fucked up, right?

But the way that they portray waking up and being like, what happened, what happened, what happened. And then it comes back in these like flashes and the horror and the dread. It is just so evocative. Because I've had that before, not after having done something like that. But I've definitely had the like, and then the flash, flash, flash of what has continued. And then you start piecing everything together. But it was so funny because I was watching White Lotus with Jeff.

and we'd pause it and I was like, man, I've been real fucked up before. And then Jeff looked at me, he's like, I ain't never been that fucked up before. And then we laughed about it. And my friend Julia was coming to pick something up. And I go downstairs and she's like, man, I just watched White Lotus. And it was like, say nothing. We're in the middle of watching it. And then she just leans on my door and went, man, I've been fucked up before.

And it's like, oh, is everybody saying the same thing about this episode. I've been fucked up. I ain't never been that fucked up. What? Here to make us all feel better about our worst night. Our worst night. Just think about it. Think about like that time you got fingered in front of a bunch of people in a bar

because you were so drunk and you weren't thinking about it. Think about that. But think about it happening with your brother. Like I. Oh my God. Want to. And then the scene where Lockie, where it comes back to Lockheed during the meditation and so he can't say anything. Oh, my.

Because that's the thing. Up until that moment, you're like, oh, maybe, you know, it's an exaggeration. Maybe, like, even after the conversation. And then you see him remember too. And you're like, oh, no, all this really, really happened. And you're thinking like, okay, well, this horrible thing happened between these two brothers, but maybe it won't ruin their relationship forever because only one of them remembers it. And so maybe Laki gets to be, like, free from this horrible memory.

You'd have to tell them. Or I guess you never talk about it ever again. I immediately take that back. You would never talk about it ever again. Yeah, you would never talk about it. I think that was what Saxon was going to do, was going to just like, be like, okay, this is my burden to carry. I will never talk about this with anyone. These two girls know, but hopefully they won't tell anyone. And I will never talk about it with Lockie. And then when it comes back to Lockie, because they have this moment where Lockhe comes up and he's like, I don't remember. And Saxon's like, yeah, immediately. Me neither. We both blacked out, even though we've already seen that Saxon didn't, that Saxon does remember. And then, yeah, and then later Lockhe's trying to be the good brother and go to the meditation with his. sister and it comes back to him in the meditation. God, it is beautiful. This show is shockingly good. So this is I, and I am so surprised by how many people are saying that they don't like this season. What? I am genuinely surprised that I've seen lots of internet

theorizing that this is not as good of a season and I think that is not true. I think that's wild. Also, I, not to get too into this particular thing because it is upsetting and triggering, but the way that they deal with suicidal ideation, I think, is also so unlike anything I've ever seen in pop culture. Fascinating. Yeah. It is. Like, especially with, like, the obsession. Yeah. And, like, the way that they're going through it and the way that they're not, like, romanticizing it, I feel like, but also romanticizing it because there is, like, an aspect of that. Because even thinking about, like, how he would be found, how the family, which, of course, is all going to be what goes through. his brain over and over and over again while thinking about something so difficult. And Jason Isaacs can do so much with doing almost nothing. He's just really good in this show. Yes. Yeah. The acting is just absolutely phenomenal. It is really, I have been enjoying the hell out of it. It is one of those shows. Like, Gideon and I are watching it together. But it's like,

you know, it's like a show where you like, I want to have a book club where we just talk about I'm like, I want to talk, I need to talk about this with somebody. I was really excited to talk about it today because I'm just like, I don't know how to process what's going on in season three of White Lotus. I just know that it's really good. In every conflict, there's at least one bitch. A huge bitch, a silly bitch. A little baby bitch, a raggedy bitch.

But sometimes it's unclear who the bitch is. I'm Kara Klank. And I'm Jackie Zabrowski. And on our new Colin Advice podcast, we're going to help you figure out who's the bitch. We want to hear your problems, dilemmas, and quandaries. No topic is off limits. Does your coworker flirt with the boss to get ahead? Is your bestie having her destination wedding on a holiday weekend?

Is your therapist being clingy? Does your friend keep bringing her toddler to adult parties? Come on, there's definitely a bitch in your life, and we want to hear about it. You can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail, and even call in live to talk to us in person about the alleged bitch in your life. Just go to who's the bitch.com for all the ways you can contact us. New episodes drop every Wednesday starting in October on the last podcast network. So subscribe now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. And tune in to our live stream kickoff on September 30th on the last podcast network Twitch channel,

where we'll be taking your calls live on air. Help us help you figure out who's the bitch. Also, forgive me if I had said this on page seven. But I was watching an interview of Leslie Bibb, and she was talking about Mike White writing the he referred to them, I think, as like the blonde blob, the three women, like the ladies. And that he had come up with the characters of them because he was watching, I believe that he was in Thailand writing the show. And he saw three women talking and like, just like, gibitzing and gossiping. And he couldn't tell any of them apart until one of them. them would go to the bathroom and then the other two would immediately start ripping apart the

one that went to the bathroom and like gossiping and saying shit about the one that just went to the bathroom and then that one would come back and then another one would go and the same thing would happen and that's where he came up with the idea for the three women and it is you know for a a person who is not like just a white woman in their 40s I think that he did such a great job getting the three of them and obviously they must have brought their own experiences to their roles because it is so, man, it's why I was scared of having female friends for a very long time. I was very scared of women for a very long time. And it's why I was so bristly, especially comedically, if you ever listed a roundtable, why I was so bristly on the outside. I was absolutely terrified of what women

were going to do to me, of what they were going to say about me, what they were going to say towards me because I'm a fragile person. And I think that those women really are good at encapsulating at especially ones that have known each other through many different generations of life. That's the thing. It's so well observed. And even though it is like it is like definitely these women who are best friends, but also can totally shit talk each other the minute one leaves the room, it also,

it's like it doesn't feel misogynist. it doesn't feel nasty. Like it feels like they're all like these, you know, very full, well-developed characters. And also it's so easy to fall into these like high school, you know, high school habits. Like, you know, it is so familiar. And it's like, you know, I was saying this about why Real Housewives is so fun. It's just like, we've all been in a social situation where, you know, it's just this like, okay, well, right now we're just going to be mean.

We're just going to be mean about each other, you know. And, Yeah, well, you had a baby in a Unarist farm. Like, you're waiting for, like, all the, like, real shit to come out. It's like, when is it all going to come to a head? Because, you know, at some point,

it's all going to come to a head because, like, will say, I have not, I very rarely had this experience. I'm saying only for myself, with the, like, the people that identify as male in my life, I've not had a lot of screaming matches with,

but I have with most of my female friends at some point. Interesting. And everything ended up fine. Yeah. But it is. it's very, I think it's, and I'm talking about like oldest, oldest of my female friends that we've gotten into, that you've known for a really, really long time, that you've gotten to places in

your life where you're just like, maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore, but then you like weather that, you get through those moments and you finally make it out on the other side. And it's just, it's a lot more emotional turmoil. And I'm not saying that about all female friendships, but I've just found in the past, it's, it's an interesting way of communication. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, there's these with these, these, these, dynamics are well observed in White Lotus for a reason because they're very familiar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yet some, hopefully, more unfamiliar.

You know what actually scares me about watching White Lotus is worrying. Yeah, because I have general anxiety disorder and I can find a way to worry about almost anything. Is that seeing the whole Saxon Locky line, I'm like, man, how many people have those levels of crazy secrets? Yeah. You know, like I, you know, I've got secrets. Sure, I'm a woman of mystery. You haven't been listening to me for many years. I was going to say my every thought and every emotion into a microphone.

You've said your own book. You've said almost all your thoughts into this very microphone. MJ, I am a woman of mystery. And you may refer to me as such, if you would like, yeah. I'm a bit of an Austin Powwaz. Don't be scared. My impersonation skills. Thank you so much. But I don't have that level of secret.

Yeah. No. No. I'm almost like, it's like, have I not live? Am I not like living hard or like am I living too soft? You know what I'm? Live moss. Live and if Taco Bell could hear me, I am screaming.

You could just invite me to one of those live moss lives. I'm just saying. Yeah. Maybe I would think about the mystery I would have then. Think about like talk about the mysteries of the universe I would then know because I would know what's coming out from Taco Bell, and you know I wouldn't tell you about it. That's a lie.

I would tell you about every single item the moment I tried them. Okay. Shifting gears here from... Taco Bell. But you... You want to talk... I'm not that I change the subject every time you bring up Taco Bell because I think I have nothing against Taco Bell.

I feel like you have... I think you're upset because your New York Taco Bells are not as good as my L.A. Taco Bells. I think you're upset. That's true. I really want to go to the Taco Bell. can'tina on Flatbush Avenue and get drunk, but I haven't been able to. Oh, you want those big fruity drinks. You want to fucking put some booze in a Baja

blast. You motherfucker, I love it. And then emerge onto the bustling metropolis that is Flatbush Avenue. How do you feel about the Baja blast pie? It is like a moose space pie. Apparently, it's only a really small piece, but apparently it's got enough sugar that it could actually make your teeth fall out of your face, not actually. Yeah, no, I'm not. Spirituality. I'm not doing that. No Baja Blast. But, okay, this is go on this little journey with me. Speaking of Sam Rockwell's monologue from the last episode of White Lotus, there was this hilarious screenshot going around. Matt Bernstein, who many of you may follow on Instagram,

he makes the really, really good kind of like pastel background political memes. But he's also very funny and he does a lot of pop culture stuff too. but he took a screenshot of that monologue where Sam Rockwell says, could I be an Asian girl? And he posted it with Gwen Stefani on any random day in 2004. But then there is this- Harjuku phase. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But then he also did this little, like, deep dive on what is happening with Gwen Stefani right now. And it turns out her proclaiming to be like, you know, Japanese on the inside. is not as bad as it gets because she also right now is doing this on Ash Wednesday which just passed.

She did this whole ad for this app. It's a Jesus app called Hallow. And she posted about this actor, actor, I'm putting that in quotes. Also, it's not Halo? Well, that's not how Halo is spelled. Hallow.

Hallowed be thy name, I assume. Ew, ew. Halo, be thy name. Yes. And this actor, again, I'm doing quotes, who has only been in Jesus things named Jonathan Rumi was odd. And listen, if I'm getting any of this wrong, always correct me. We get things wrong on the show.

We're reading in real time. So if I'm wrong and he's a real actor who's been in not Jesus things, let me know. But I looked up, Jonathan Rumi, he's only been like Jesus in this film, Jesus in this film. I think like straight to video Jesus production. He doesn't even look like Jesus. But he... I guess depends on what you're looking like,

He was on, yeah, I guess it depends on the Jesus. He goes on Tucker Carlson and when Stefani tweets out like, oh, I love you, Jonathan Rumi, love this interview with you on Tucker Carlson. And she's doing this ad for the app, hello, the app features voices known for their conservative stances towards sexual and reproductive rights. And I cannot tell what the app does. It's a Jesus app. It's a prayer and meditation. App, MJ. It's a prayer and meditation app.

You can pray every day with Mark Wahlberg, but is it Mark L. Walberg or Mark Wahlberg? Which Mark Wahlberg is it? Hallow. Hello. Tell me Hallow. Hello. Be thy name. Is it Mark Wahlberg?

Is it? It's got to be the real Mark. He is a partner and investor in Hallow. Okay. The actual Mark Wahlberg. The actual, not Temptation Islands, Mark Wahlberg. Donnie's brother. Even though I will say sidebar on Temptation Island, all of the people on it call him Marky Mark.

And they're like, hey, Marky Mark. But I also think that they're all too young to know who real Marky Mark is. They don't even know they're referencing a different Mark Wahlberg. I don't even know if they know that they're referencing a different Mark Wahlberg. They're way too young to know about New Kids on the Black Marky Mark era. That is absolutely no, no. Wow. Yeah, no, none of them.

Ew, ew, I don't like this. I'm sorry, I get so, I shouldn't say that I get so yucked out by all of the prayer. It just says, stay prayed up this lent with Mark Wahlberg. Stay prayed up? Is that a phrase that Christians use? Oh, you getting prayed up? Yeah, why don't you fucking put it up your nose? I heard you better put it up your ass.

That's where Jesus likes to be the most. Pray it up. Pray it down. What happens when you pray it down? Where do you got to go to? Is that you praying to your devil? Oh man, sorry. I just had a flash in my brain of the minor monologue in Righteous Gemstones.

Did you watch Righteous Gemstones where Keith talks about the devil's, that brain is the devil's piss? And then to him and he's like, and he washed down that beautiful piss and we start drinking it because it's the devil's piss. It's going to trick us. can't even do it justice. It is so fucking funny. Sorry, I didn't mean to completely derail everything that we're talking about. No, no. I also wanted, I actually haven't done Righteous Jumpstones yet because we are trying to power

through Severance. But by next week, by next week I will be able to talk about new season of Righteous Jumpstones. I'm sorry, check in Severance. You're still in the first season? Love it. Yeah, but we're almost done with the first season. It's so good. So good.

Again, talk about a club where I need to talk about it. I also feel like Severance, even though it got such a lot of discussion because they doing so good with the viral marketing campaign with severance. But I feel like then people kind of stop talking about it when it comes to the world of celebrity gossip and all of the like reviews and stuff that I read. And it kind of fell off, which I was surprised because I genuinely liked it. I feel like it's really difficult for a second season to come in, especially after that strong of a first season. Yeah. And still make a mark. And I still really enjoyed it. You liked season two? I like season two. I also understand that it will never be.

season one. Okay. Because there's a magic in season one, but I enjoy what, like, what they're adding into the world. Okay. Yeah. I mean, right. I'm like, it makes me.

So Ben Stiller's really good at being a director. He's good. Yeah, I'm happy for him. I think. I don't know. I don't know really anything about directing, but I feel like I'm like, every time he says directed by Ben Stilller, all right. Adam knows everything about directing.

And he fucking says, all right. I'm glad because sometimes I feel like I talk out of my ass because I'm like, just because I like, it doesn't mean I don't know if it's good directing. But Ben Stiller, every time it says directed by. by Ben Stiller after an episode. I'm like, damn, wow, hell yeah. What I would like for Severance season one is a like reading companion, you know, like, I read enough philosophy in college that I've like contemplated what consciousness and being is, you know, but it's been 20 years since I did any like level of that like interrogating what,

what is consciousness and what makes a person? And I love Severance for that. Just like, what is what is consciousness? Right. Like what who is this is this a person? Is this same person or is this a separate person? And I truly, I say this all the time. Like, I'm always referencing like college syllabi. But I like actually want somebody to be like, these companion pieces for like philosophy and like existentialism would go along with separate season one. Yeah. So it's such a good idea because they go into more of that in the second season as well.

And I like that they delve into that more of what makes a life. Like what is it separate or is it the same just because you have two separate states. of consciousness. I don't know. It's up to you. Depends on how you feel. Which you're right. I want what goes along with it. What do we read? Sound off, guys. I know that we must have some philosophist heads out there. I mean, let's be real. I'm going to continue on reading my sad biographies and reading my smut. But, you know, in a dream, I would love to read. Would you get into like a philosophy? I feel like a philosophy book at this point in time. I think that I would worry that I'm too dumb and that every page, I'd be like, I don't understand.

it. Do I get it? Yeah. If I didn't have a place to discuss. Yeah. I'm a verbal process. Again, I read that, like, I kind of majored in that stuff in college and it made me feel dumb at the time.

And at the time, I was much more intellectually engaged than I am now. So I think it would definitely make me feel dumb. But it's nice to think, you know? Like, I feel like I, I'm trying to dust the old cobwebs off my brain to think and engage with things in a way that I haven't been doing since the, advent of the smartphone, you know? So that's that's what I'm, that's what I'm trying to think about. But yeah, I'm really sad that Gwen Stefani is absolutely unrecognizable as a person compared to the admittedly 25 to 30 year old image of Gwen Stefani I have in my head as like a slight punk slash rebel girl.

She's, she's gross now. So goodbye, Gwen Stefani. So also Chris Pratt is involved with this. Mark Wahlberg is involved with this. Gwen Stefani is involved with this. Religion is fine. Totally religion is fine. Whatever. You know, if you need an app for it, I guess, whatever. We all use apps.

But like this is just, I mean, he went on Tucker Carlson. You know, like this is obviously not the cool type of Christianity. No. That is about love and acceptance. No, it's not about love and acceptance. No. And I do even enjoy Unrighteous Gemstones the fact that they are going into the world of love and acceptance.

And they're not as, I mean, they're doing it all for money because it's obviously getting them more attention. But I love that it's like, even, it's like, you know, it could widen your audience base, but oh, you don't want that, you don't want it to be widened into that. Okay, understand. I'm sorry, I'm just looking at this hallow app, the whole app of it. And it really just is like, the challenge of praying every day during Lent. Can you pray up with us?

that disgusts me. Like all of that. I'm just like, I'm going to throw up everywhere. It's just I, but I also, I guess I feel that way about anyone like telling you you have to meditate every day as well. I also feel that way too. It's like part of it, it's what you bring to your practice. It's not supposed to be about the have to. It's not necessarily about that, you know, in the same way that you can get to that place with like working out your body.

you want to, that it doesn't have to be a have-to. It's something that actually enriches me and something I want to be doing and something that I want. And I know that not every day can be just things you want to do. But I just feel like there's a way to go about it that you can talk to yourself or like talk to a therapist through. This just all of this. It just wants me to join the challenge of praying during Lent.

Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. Because it's almost spring Thanksgiving. It is, I forgot. Yeah. We're in Lent now. And it's like I was, I, during the love is blind thing where that oncology nurse was like, I don't want this guy's religion to be an inherent turnoff. Like I actually enjoyed how hard she was trying to be okay with it because I am not a religious person.

But for some reason, like four of my closest friends from high school and college became pastors. And so I have these like really righteous pastors in my life. Like I'm talking about people who are who are housing the unhoused, you know. and who are like fighting for, you know, immigrants and making a positive change. Yeah, like truly building community doing all of that amazing stuff. And like during that Love is Blind part, like I really wanted to be like, you know, it's not at all. None of this, none of the signaling here about whether this guy is a good guy or not. Like none of it is a deal breaker of the fact that he is religious.

Like it's, it's, we all know, we know it when we see it is this hallow app. kind of religion, like the creepy, hateful kind that presents itself is all about love but actually is deeply, deeply conservative and reactionary? Or is it the, you know, love thy neighbor kind? And that's all that woman on Love is Blind was asking. She was down to go to church with him. Totally. I just, I just need to know that your church is inclusive. I just need to at least hear for a moment. If you could even just tell me that you think it's inclusive and he couldn't even do that and then she went to check for herself and then like immediately what is happening. It was not. Yes. It was so funny. So she said no at the altar, which she should have.

I went out a trip with my brother last weekend and he talked about being smart. He's smart and he reads books. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Bragging much. All right. Yeah, well my brother knows that read too, MJ. But he does not share, we do not, we share many things that we love to talk about, but Love is Blind is not one of them, although we did watch season one together during quarantine, but he researches right wing media for his job. And he was like, what happened on Love is Blind this season? Because he was like, all these conservatives are like foaming at the mouth about Love is Blind season eight. And I was like, first of all, it's set in Minneapolis. And then I was like, but yes, there were two different relationships that broke up because of politics.

And so apparently that heard the oncology nurse with that boring guy and Virginia. Herrigona grad face. With basketball coach who pretends to be a good man but actually seems to secretly be a bad man. Both of those stories have been like hugely amplified by right-wing media because it's love is blind, got woke relationships. these women are ending relationships because of woke, et cetera. So that was like an interesting little crossover. I was like, oh, this is something that now conservatives are upset about. Yeah.

I'm sorry. You said the phrase, bad man, and I forgot that I wanted to give a little shout out. It was my heart sank because someone wrote in, and I do want to say thank you so much. Someone wrote into the page 7 podcast, which you can write into page 7 podcast at gmail.com to let us know. I saw the subject line that Benny Blonde. is a bad man. And I was like, fuck, we just talked about how great, Benny Placo is, oh, God, what did he do? What did we not know about? Oh, God. And I'm going to say, I love you. Because the reason why this person is saying that Benny Plano is a bad man is because he's bad at making music. Apparently, yes, he has made a lot of the bops that you have heard,

but he has also led apparently, which I think is such a funny example. And I don't know if you meant to be funny with it of saying about how amazing Maroon 5 was, which you are right. Songs about Jane is a pretty good album. But I love that it is, Benny Blanco is a bad man because it is his fault that Maroon 5 went from yay all the way down to Ben Ney. I got three words. Three words for you. Moves like Jagger.

Moves like Jenny Blanco. Jagger. And that's the thing. One of the most annoying songs that has come out, I'm just dare say in the last 20 years, except staying power. You know the song, though, don't you? That does not mean it's good. That does not mean it's good.

I'm ready. You know what? But it does mean he's successful. My stance on Benny Blanco has officially moved from Fine with him column to, I don't want to hear about him anymore. The nay. You're going nay, nay. Oh my God, you've named the bastard.

Let me, let me say this. I have introduced yay and nay to my kids when I'm asking them a question because for some reason, they're more likely to answer the question if I say yay or nay than if I say, can you give me a yes or no? Okay. So I'll say yay or nay. And they have introduced a third category, which is May, which stands for maybe. So, you know, I'll be like- You're not allowed to add choices?

They don't make the poll. Oh, they're allowed to. Oh, are they in charge of all of the choices? Don't worry. They, and they're very powerful negotiators. But yeah, it'll be, you know, should we do this today? Yay or nay? Nay.

And they'll be like, May. Nay. And so I think we can have a yay column and a nay column, but also we have a May column. I'm not putting him in nay yet, although, again, I have not looked into anything else about Benny Blanco, aside from the fact that he is with Selena Gomez, and I want her to be happy. And I now, I think, moves like Jagger really shoves him towards nay. Wow. But that doesn't mean we should call him ugly.

I think we can still be dignified about this. I think he's a fine-looking man who seems to be responsible for a terrible song. But yes, this person who wrote in deadpan to this email. It was like, Betty Blanco was a bad man. I can't believe you guys got this so wrong. And like, we do get like kind of angry emails like that sometimes.

I was about to puke. I was like, I can't believe how much we fucked up. Oh, fuck. What did we do? What did we do? And then it was because of Moves like Jagger. And I really appreciate you. Listener who wrote it because that was very funny.

You're right. Apparently, though, I will say, okay, again, this is AI overview. Everyone, AI overview. And I want to just go back and protect myself again from the celebrities because AI Google fucked me in my beautiful behind. Because I looked up real fast the ages of Britney Spears when she had her kids. And AI Google lied to me. So everybody, be careful with what AI Google's saying. It's wrong.

It'll tell you it. It rocks. Listen to AI Google. According to AI Google, Benny Blanco did work on Diamonds by Rihanna, did work on Teenage Dream and California girls,

Katie Perry, did work on die young, Kesha. Like, this is a thing, like, I mean, if AI Google's not lying to me,

it seems like Benny Blanco has worked on a lot of big songs. I need to do the thing. There is a thing you can do, at least on your phone, and you must be able to do it on your browser,

where you can just take AI Google away because it's it's not going to keep telling me to eat rocks. I need to know the actual information. Google's bad now. But, you know, if that is, yeah, he's got an incredibly impressive. You have to get a browser extension. I literally looked in.

And of course, AI Google answered me of how to shut off AI Google. And it does say that you need to get extensions. Keep using me. I'm very smart. Yeah, don't you howl my ass? I know what happens. I've seen 2001. You can't get into my brain and tell me how to

to be a human computer? I'm sorry, he's in the May column. I don't want to hear about him again. Have a great relationship with Selena Gomez. I wish her nothing but happiness. But maybe he's got moves like Benny, and I feel like you're already giving up on him. And I think that's...

I have given up on him. You can't. You can't. He's our Hobbit lover, and I am pro-Hobbit lover here, until you all tell me that I can't anymore. How old is this? Good Lord.

He's 37. What a career. Well, yeah, he's killing it, dude. And I do feel like it's like, I think he's got, but you wait. I'm going to put my Hobbit foot in my own friggin' mouth soon. I have always wanted to be a Hobbit wife. I tell you, at the end, the Lord of the Rings, when Sean Astin, he takes up with that curvy wife of his and then they're just dancing and singing.

She's going to give him a bunch of Hobbit babies. That's always what I wanted to be. He needs to button his shirts. Just put me in by a little stow. He needs to button his shirts, better. Benny Blanco. I thought you meant Sean Ascent. I was like, Sean Ashton can keep his shirts wide open.

Sean Aston can keep his shirts open. Benny Blanco, he's just making interesting choices. Like they're buttoned on top and on bottom but not in the middle. Wow. It's a little bit of, it's a belly sandwich. It's a belly on shirt sandwich. And sometimes you got to have, you got to have that rose beef a peek in a peek and a peeking on out. Got to make sure there's enough meat in there for this big old hoagie hog.

Yeah. I am feeling bad, though, about how the internet is talking about Sabrina Carpenter. And I want to bring this up because it is so insane how all over the place people are about Sabrina Carpenter. It is either, she's the best. She's amazing. Do you see how little she is and how dynamic she is? It goes from that to, she's so sexual. Oh, my God, my children.

Oh, my God. It is giving. It is giving, like, Brittany. I mean, Jackie and I are steeped in Brittany right now and we're thinking a lot about the early 2000s and the media coverage and the tabloid coverage and everything at that time and what has changed and what hasn't changed.

But I will say that Sabrina seems like more sure of herself just as an individual, as a young person than Brittany was able to be at the time because she just, Sabrina seems to have like a foundation, you know, like, you know, of like. Well, she's another. her career already. She's another Disney girl that I feel like hopefully went through the process more supported than Britney Spears ever did is what it seems like. I'm assuming. That's the hope.

If she could so effortless, I mean, maybe not effortlessly, but if she could go from being such a Disney star into being such a pop star, you know that transition is very, very difficult. You know Miley Cyrus was one of the biggest stars as Hannah Montana and then also moved into like further into the world of music and how difficult it was for her to transition from child into a woman and how all of, I mean, we watched that happen. We watched the world rip her apart because she was trying to grow up. And I, I, Sabrina Carpenter is doing a really good job of it without like spirally. Yeah, that's the thing. It seems to have been quite seamless for her. She's been, she was successful as a Disney actor. She was successful on Girl Leadsworld, has had an extremely successful career as an adult, you know,

since then is like what the number one pop pop girl right now. And now she is blonde as brousso. But yeah, there was this story that you sent from this past week where the paparazzi is screaming at her shame on you, Sabrina, because she's trying to not get photographed. And then there's this other story of her doing the Eiffel Tower. She was in Paris and she always does like different like, you know, kind of sexy moves on. the stage and since she was performing in Paris, she, of course, simulated an Eiffel Tower on the stage. But the thing is, I say simulated.

It wasn't like people were humping on. It wasn't like, they're like, do you get it? Like it wasn't. Totally. Yes. If you were 11 watching this show, I don't. It's not, yes, it's explicit if you know. But again, we all grew up singing like, all your ladies pop that pussy like this.

And we, you know, it's like, it's not like it is new to have my neck, my back with my pussy and my crack. Yeah. There's, it's just everybody's. Baby, I like it wrong. Oh, yeah. Baby, I like it wrong. We all grew up being 10 years old, walking around, singing these extremely explicit lyrics. And I know that kids like, unfortunately, I think kids are more vulnerable nowadays because they're on the phones and they're like being exposed to things more, you know, at a younger age.

Like, we were singing, baby, I like it raw, but we couldn't like go. what that meant, you know? No. But, but yeah, now everyone's, you know, what a horrible example she is, you know, and I do, this quote made me think of you, Jackie, when she said, I think some people think I'm obnoxiously horny when in reality, writing them, writing these lyrics just comes from my ability to not be fearful of my sexuality as opposed to not being able to put it down. Thank you, Sabrina. Thank you. Thank you. So what a beautiful way to put it. It is such, And also that like, like, so many of the comments of like, oh, of course she's going to do a sex move that is against women, that it's so like, it looks down on women. So degrading.

That was the word. They kept using the word degrading. And she's like, why is this degrading? If these are people that are all consenting your, why is, why is it degrading? Yes. I'm an adult. Or sometimes I choose to be degraded too because I'm an adult. I'm an adult.

And that's what I want. I'm cultivating my own image. everyone here on stage knows what's happening. There's no, like, intimacy coordinator violations going on. She is an adult. Like, and yes, I'm also happy that there's, like, Olivia Rodriguez out there who are more for, like, let's, like, talk about love and feelings and, like, a little bit less about sex. But, like, she's an adult.

She's not responsible for how 10 and 11-year-old girls are exposed to, like, sexuality. She's just not, like. And also, she's not, like, a stick in the mud. either in the other direction because she just did, she read, did, please, please me and had Dolly Parton do the song with her. So she worked, she collabed with Dolly Parton and they redid the music video because as we all know in the please please me music video she originally did with Barry Keogan, essentially being like, you better not break my heart.

And then when it ended up happening, he broke her heart. And so she remixed the song where they are killing her boyfriend in it. It's so good. The video is so great. It's so amazing. And then, but Dolly Parton was like, I will do the song. But in the original song, she's like, she says, motherfucker, no. And Dolly Parton does not curse. She does not curse publicly. She does not speak ill of Jesus Christ either. And so she told her those things. And so she changed the words to take out motherfuckers so that Dolly Parton didn't have to be involved in it. So that's what I'm saying that, like, she's always. also not going to be like, I wrote it. That is how it is. I mean, obviously, she's working with Dolly Parton. So it's like, could you imagine being Sabrina Carpenter, being saying no to Dolly Parton? But I do feel that it's like, but she's still working with people and can still, like, she ebbs and flows. And I think that doesn't that what an artist make? I, yeah. I, I mean, Britney talks so much in her memoir about how everyone was blaming her for.

for, you know, this sex, how she was being marketed and presented, you know, and she talks so much about how from her point of view, she was like a teenager and she wasn't even really, like it actually wasn't even on Britney's radar. And I think that what's happening with Sabrina is very different because she's an adult, right? And obviously all of these pop stars are are marketed and packaged in a certain way. And I don't know exactly the extent to which they have agency over, you know, every single choice like this. But Sabrina, is a very confident, well-spoken person who is very able to speak for herself about the artistic choices that she's making. And I just feel like we can take artists their word for that unless we

have a reason not to. Yeah. And just after hearing all after hearing Brittany being like, why was I responsible for all of these kids? Like I was trying to make music. I was trying to figure out who I wasn't as an artist and everyone's telling me it's your fault. Well, simultaneously, she was being marketed to 10-year-old girls and marketed as a sexy, like, sex object. Also, it's her fault now that society is too sexual or whatever. And it is very, like, hard to have all of that stuff from Brittany in my head and then see people talking about Sabrina Carpenter this way and saying, you know, well, she's just, she's degrading. Like, I'm sorry, but like, it's not that pop stars shouldn't be conscientious about what they're putting out for people.

I think that you should only put out things that you're proud of and that you stand behind. But again, it's just not, it's not Sabrina's job to raise, you know, your tween girl. Like if you're tween girl likes Sabrina, then it's time to have conversations with your tween girl about sex and sexuality. If that, you know, and if you think that she's listening to Sabrina and none of this is on her radar at all, then, you know, just be present and wait. And then if your kid asks you about it, you know, the kind of parenting. advice right now that I mean I'm not there yet but that hits with me as if your kid is asking it old enough to ask about it they're probably old enough to hear an age appropriate answer you're not going to go in a detail about what the Eiffel Tower is oh you're not going to see man because when you're down in it and

you're looking at that rude eye right in the face and you want to but really you got to and just explain you know the intricacies of the Eiffel Tower or you know maybe they'll get into a conversation with Auntie Jennifer Coolidge. And Jennifer Coolidge can let you know. Talk about sex positivity. I love how open Jennifer Coolidge has not only been with how much she got laid because she was a milth in American pie. She's talked about that many, many times in many interviews about how that, like, that

helped her sex life to such an extent. But then apparently, White Lotus also boosted her sex life even more. and she's bringing it up now because it's apparently becoming a big problem because she's just attracted to unavailable men. She's so relatable. She's attracted to unavailable men and she just keeps wanting unavailable men. She has, she is obsessed with men who are just inherently fundamentally not going to get with her. And if I've never been more related to her in my life, I love her so much. I just, she's really one of those stars where she's just aging like a fine wine, you know, she's 63.

She's like, I love sex. I have all these regrets about how I've approached my love life because, you know, I just fixate these guys that aren't the right person. Well, I like even in this article that she talks about that like she was, that earlier in her career, she feels like she was on an amazing trajectory, which she was. But apparently, according to her, she got, she said, I was on the surfboard, but I got. off the surfboard for a relationship. And now I tell everyone that if you want your career and if you need to go after something, you got to go after it. And it doesn't matter if you have stuff planned. It doesn't matter if it's like if that is what you want because that she went through a lot

of depression years because she felt like she made the wrong choice. Yeah. And that it fucked her. And I'm so proud of watching how hard she has worked to get back. to where she is. And like I mean, we were just talking on page seven about, was that page seven?

I forgot where I was talking about Christopher Guest. I think I was talking with Natalie about Christopher Guest people. Where was I talking about it? Who was I talking to MJ? It was a lot. I'll talk about Christopher Guest if you want. I love Christopher Guest movies.

And I just, I feel that like, especially like Parker Posey having this moment. I mean, Mike White knows. how to cast, well, like he knows, like, they know people, they know what they're doing. Also, I've seen many articles. I've never watched Mike White on Survivor, but the creator, I don't know if you've seen all the many memes, MJ, but the creator of White Lotus also was on Survivor. He also acts in a bunch of stuff. Mike White was on Survivor? Yes. What? Oh, yeah. I can't

believe you haven't delved into all of this. So also, he has, uh, in little roles, he has casted a lot of his fellow survivor people in small roles to be a part of it as well, which I love. And I love that he is giving, I'm sorry, not to go back to White Lotus. I just love that there is a place where character actors can shine. Absolutely. It's one of the best things about the show. I love it. It's an ensemble of character actors. It is like an ensemble cast in every way and each actor is bringing this immense depth to the show that so few actors get to, to, you know, to, bring if they are, you know, if it's more of a kind of like formulaic or a leading person show. It's such, it's like the most iconic ensemble cast.

I mean, speaking of iconic ensemble cast, of all the Christopher guest movies, which is not one that gets brought up all the time, have you seen Best in Show? Of course I've seen Best in Show. I love. And like obviously waiting for Guffman will forever be my top. But Best in Show is a really close second. Y'all know how I feel about dogs. If you need to just put a smile on your face

and you love a bunch of character actors, check out Bestin's show. It also has Parker Posey. It also has Jennifer Coolidge. It's got Eugene Levian. It's got Catherine O'Hara. And he's got an insane cast. And if you like White Lotus,

I would say just watch all of Christopher Guest if you have never really get yourself into a guest hole. If you want to ostrich for real, not pretend and actually pretend like the world is not worlding and doing what that is. put on some Christopher guest movies. You know, that's what Temptation Island is for. I'm going to read this quote from Jennifer Coolidge before we move.

I guess in the last few minutes we can talk about the bald ones, which was a big snore fest this week. Norro, borough. But I'll bet that there might be still listeners who relate to this from Jennifer Coolidge. I have friends that went to their prom in the last year of high school, found a guy, fell in love with him, and still have that guy. I haven't had that luck. It has never been the right person. Also, it's kind of limited out there. I feel like I'm a horse in the corral and I haven't found a mayor.

horse that matches up with what I got. I feel like I need to go into some other corrals. Extremely, extremely relatable. I love her. And also, yeah, it's just like, it's, you know, I want, I want her to have that love and be happy. And also, I'm so glad that she has had the career that she has. I was thinking about this actually because in the Baldwin's, Alec Baldwin is just like begging to stop acting. And it seems like no one will let him, like hilarious specifically. He's like, no, no, no, no, you can't. And he's like, I'm 66. I just want to be with my kids.

And she's like, no, no, no, you can't. And I guess that people are framing it. He's also not allowed to talk. He's not allowed to not have cats. He's not allowed to. There's a lot of things. He can't go to the opera anymore. A lot of things Alan Baldwin is not allowed to do anymore.

Yes. And I understand, I mean, obviously, Hilaria is a black widow who's trying to kill him. But like, I understand that there might be a place of love where you could be like, don't stop acting. This is your depression. talking, this is the PTSD, you don't have to stop acting just because this tragedy happened on a acting set, although, again, you could make a counterpoint to that too. But the

obsession with the work, he's 66. Yeah. If he was a regular human being, he would be, well, unfortunately, many of them are not allowed, many of regular human beings not allowed to retire by 66 anymore. Yeah, we're social security going. Yeah. Fingers crossed. Some people could retire at 66. And I just, this thing of like, well, no, you have to work. You have to work. I think she wants him to work because she wants more money. money. Of course she does. And he just doesn't want to work. And maybe it's the depression. Maybe it's the trauma. But also, he's 66. He's had a tremendous career. Yes, it has unfortunately ended in a, with a, with a, in a blight. But you could just spend time with your kids. That's okay. And so,

I don't know. I feel the, the, it's also a beautiful retirement, but also we are talking about a show that is called Glenn Gary. The episode's called Glenn Gary, Glenn Floss. Because a large portion of the episode was taking the children to the dentist. The whole show is just them pretending they're not rich. She's like, we have seven kids, so sometimes we're the only people at the dentist because we've just booked the whole thing up. I'm like, bitch, you have a private dentist. It's fine.

Yeah. You're rich. Yeah. It's fine. You block off time, so you go in and there's no one else in there. You pay the whole dentist. You do that. That's fine.

You're the Baldwin's. You don't have to pretend like you're normal. You're not. Yeah. You've got seven kids. It's a lot. It's a big hassle. Of course, you're going to go to a,

private place where you can rent, you know, like make sure that you've got those hours. If you are rich and famous, you must stop pretending that you are like us. You're not like us, girl. And she's like, ah, I just have such a great relationship with my stepdaughter, Ireland Baldwin, who's 10 years younger than me. That was so forced and so uncomfortable. And we are not going to talk about the voicemail. No one's talking about the voicemail. And it is, or the random barbs. All right. So Hilaria is at a lunch with Ireland, Ireland's new baby, and Ireland's husband. And they don't even introduce Ireland's husband. They couldn't possibly give a fuck. They'd be like, we love him. We don't learn his name. He doesn't speak. No, he never speaks. We don't give a shit about him. And then Alec Baldwin didn't even take the time to go to the lunch. He facetimes into the lunch on the show when like literally your job is probably to go to the lunch. But he facetimes them. And even over the face time, Eladia has to be like, not that you even. and bothered to come to lunch. And she had to put the barb in

that he didn't even bother her to come to lunch. But also, did you notice that she had to say randomly, oh my God, that when they first mate, he didn't even know where I was from. I said I was from Boston. See, he didn't even know from me. I said, he didn't even know it from me. I said, and like, what are you?

Stop talking like that. Stop it. I guarantee you that she's saying that. because she told him she was from Spain. Yes. There are interview clip after interview clip of Alec Baldwin saying, my wife is from Spain. And I don't think he was lying.

I think he didn't know. That's maybe we tried to let him off the hook. But I think that he was not read in on her not being from Spain. But yes, that is a good point. His daughter, who he talks all the time about how he wishes he had a better relationship with her, flies in from Portland, Oregon. and he is in the Hamptons, three hours away. He doesn't come to Manhattan to have lunch with her?

Don't come to the lunch. What's wrong with you? Won't come to the lunch. He's got, you know, he's... Get lunch with your daughter. He's too busy picking up all of the trash off of the beach, MJ. He's got OCD. All right?

Yeah. And she doesn't understand. And I will say, for a moment, I actually was happy for them. Because for just a moment on the beach, I noticed that he said, I like the way you look in that baby. suit. And I was like, at least I see a spark of the reason of why he is in this relationship. I think he does love her, actually. I am disturbed to, I think that she doesn't, I think she loves the idea of him. Yeah. And I think he loves her. And I'm not trying to humanize him. It's just

accidentally happening. And I'm not, I'm not saying I'm right. Nobody should feel sympathy for the guy. No. But I do think that he, I think he just is like, take care of me in my own. old age with the children. And she's like, go work, bitch. You know, so. And then you watch him hanging out with Caroline Ray. And I'm like, he seems like probably a really fun dude to hang

out with. I would love to sit and hear his stories. Like, I'm sure he's got, you're talking about Anthony Hopkins. Also, love the movie The Edge, if you've never seen The Edge. Definitely. He was at, like, Alec Baldwin has asked, what is his favorite movie of his? And he said

none. But then he was talking about working with Tony Hopkins on the edge and when he first found out that Anthony Hopkins was cast because this movie is really good and it is about an old dude that is married to a young, hot piece of ass

and that is Anthony Hopkins and then Anthony Hopkins finds out that Alec Baldwin, this is when he's young, start schopen his hot piece of ass wife. So Anthony Hopkins is going to like take him on this like helicopter ride just to kind of like scare him a little bit

and then the helicopter goes down And then it becomes a survival movie where they are trapped in the wilderness. Whoa. The two of them. And it just, they just act. And it, I, you know what? I probably shouldn't say this is a great movie. I loved it when I was younger, but I probably haven't seen it in 15 years.

So maybe it doesn't hold up. But I remember watching it. I also was like in love with Anthony Hopkins. Yeah. So, because of a legend. Did you ever have an Alec Baldwin thirst? I never once thirsted for Alec Baldwin. Beetlejuice, but I never realized that it was Alec Baldwin until, you know what I mean?

Like, I loved him in Beetlejuice. Yeah. I wasn't attracted to Alec Baldwin, though. You know what I mean? Yeah. I wanted to be Gina Davis. Oh, man. Latest headline about the show, the Baldwin's isn't Alec Baldwin's comeback.

It's basically the comeback, which is a reference to the Lisa Cudrow show, The Comeback, which is about a washed up actor trying to come back, that it was so painfully, awfully, viscerally real to watch, I had to stop watching it because it was too upsetting. You've told me about this show, and I don't even think I told you, like, a couple of months ago, I was like, you know, and let me watch a couple episodes. I watched two or three episodes, and I was like, I can't continue. It actually... It's too, it's so well done. This is an endorsement of the show. The comeback is so good. She is so funny. It's so uncomfortable. But I was like, Gideon, this is just too real. I just can't do it.

But, yeah, so that is all just to say that the bad reviews for the Baldwin's continue to pour in. But what do you think, Jackie? Are we, have we eaten our fill of our second helpings? I guess I'm all full up, MJ. Thanks for making sure my holes are stuffed. Ugh. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I just feel like at the end, maybe like while we're going through second help is like, I could eat a little bit more. I'm the, um, um, um. Oh, not. there yet. You know, like maybe we need more like guttural grunts as we go through to make sure

everybody knows we got to get our fill. I could start imitating the sounds that Alec Baldwin makes during his own show. He's got back problems. That poor man needs help. And I do grunt like that when I bend over and I'm half his age. And so I'm worried. I'm worried. He does a big stance.

He like widens his legs and like straightens the back. and then bends from the hips. And I'm like, oh, buddy boy, I know just what you're going through. Really difficult for him to pick up all that trash all the time. He's got to pick up after all those kids. You do bend over a lot when you have little kids. You're constantly bending over. And you're also getting up off the ground a lot.

You've got to do a lot of squats. Especially him talking about his pockets always being filled with candy wrappers because the kids leave wrappers so he just collects them throughout the day so we can go and throw them all out. Again, it is relatable. My pockets are always filled with beads. and whatever shiny detritus my children find on the streets of New York City. If it's shiny, they're like birds.

They pick it up. For half a second, I thought he said beans. I was like, why? Is that where you soften them up? You want to get the dry beans? You just keep them all wet in your pocket so that they're ready for dinner later? No, I'm talking about pink, shiny plastic beads. If there's a bead on the ground in Brooklyn, my children will find it.

So don't worry. If you lost a bead, ask me if I have it in my pocket. Put the bead sleuths on the kids. Thanks. Thank you guys so much. I hope you're all full up and have a beautiful rest of your week. We will be back next week with page seven with guest host, Natalie Jean. So I know it's going to be so much fun. We love you guys.

Have a beautiful weekend. Thank you so much, MJ. I guess let's sing the perfect song that we'll never stray from. Make it better. Second time around. This show is made possible by listeners. like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.