Page 7 - Second Helpings - That's Trans Fats to the Max

Episode Date: October 17, 2025

This week we got NO HOLDEN'S ALLOWED, so Jackie decides to come clean about LYING about HER FEELS regarding the new Taytay album to get some peace, but at least he's still showin' off his cardigan. While it might be Sweater Weather for some, it's also Heidi Klum season over here and we're all so happy for her! Mariah Carey's ice is starting to crack as the 1st draws closer, GOOP was interview for a baffling profile in "British Vogue", and apparently  said it's just so "punk rock" that Timothee Chalamet is dating a woman with kids...ya know....Kylie Jenner. She also gave up smokin' cigs years AFTER she was runnin' her crazy website, because integrity is everything to her after all. A photo of Meghan Markle mid-canning blew Jackie's mind so much she forgot MJ was the one to send it to her to begin with! SKIM's truly has their ear focused on the common person as they are releasing merkin thongs, and Comrade Cardi stands up for rentin' man! NOW IT'S TIME TO TALK 'BOUT DANCIN' WITH THE STARS! It was tribute week and everyone cried for Robert Irwin EXCEPT one LPN monster, plus Peacemaker has wrapped and Jackie is upset, that's all she's gotta say about it. But MJ gives a bit more detail for an earlier plot point, and more on this weeks "Second Helpings"!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A second time. Right. And don't worry, guys. Not a holden in sight. No, there is no hold it. Let's call him. Let's call him. Should we get him in here?

Should we actually? Bring him. I miss him. I feel like he probably just dropped off the kids. So we'll get him in here. I'm sure he did have his cardigan on yesterday. He was showing it off to people in the office again. I love that for him.

I need you all to know. You're like, oh, I'm annoyed by holding him coming on here and talking about Taylor. Swift, it doesn't end when he leaves the microphone. So think about us for a second. I like, it is so, I've had people like private message me and ask me like, is he doing a bit? And I'm like, sweetheart, this, there's, this, he's never done less of a bit in his life. Like he, I was really, I was really worried about him, you know, because he gets, he takes it. He gets so upset and he gets it so personally.

Yes. And you listened to us on air with him. You know, I'm going to say it. Lying about some of how I felt about the album. I'm going to throw that. I'm going to say lying to him. I have to. Sometimes, okay, guys, he'll cry.

Sometimes you have to lie to protect your friends' feelings. That or he's just, or I'm just going to have to hear about it more. We're just talking about this where it's like for the people that really, really, really hate her. It's like, stop thinking about her. Don't give her that much purchase in your brain. She doesn't fucking deserve it. Release. Release.

You know what you can do if you want to fill your brain with joy? You can watch this week's fucking dancing with the stars. Okay. We're talking about dancing with the stars out the gate. Okay, we can not. We can wait. We can wait. I don't know how I think we, uh, I don't know whether that's, to me, that's top of mind.

Okay, because it was dedication week. But we can wait. That is top of mind. It is top of mind for us. Um, yeah. You know, the, it's, um, you know, obviously Jackie and I are, uh, we're not, Totally going to weigh in on Paris Fashion Week, you know, the other things going on. I thought everybody came here especially, specifically for fashion news.

Because we know all about it, especially every time there's a blind item about a model of some sort. Man, we always get those. Oh, finger on the pulse. Yeah, no. Yeah, I think Jackie just always screams Heidi Klum. Yes. Until we get to the actual model. If it's a positive one, just because I love Heidi Kloom so much.

She's wonderful. Oh, my God. It's her season. I'm so happy for her. It's her season. But it really, it's, I want to go so badly. But everything about me, thinking about a party that starts at 11 or midnight. I know. I think like my bones hurt from thinking about it.

Every year when I get the Heidi Clume Halloween party invitation, I'm always so excited. And every year, I'm truly shocked that the time, the first time that I went to the Heidi Clum Halloween party, my first born was four months old. And I was like, I can't miss this. But it does, that really goes to show you that before parenthood really like robs you of everything you have, you still have a lot. You're like, it's not going to change. Exactly. You're like, it's not going to change me. Sure, I can still go to the Heidi Klum Halloween party, of course. And, uh, and I did and I drank the vodka because apparently it's a sign of fanciness to just drink vodka from a table. I don't understand bottle service. It's the only time of my life I've experienced.

bottle service. I'm like, you're telling me, I'm just supposed to drink straight vodka and call it luxury. And I did. And then I went home to my four-month-old baby and, you know, I had to take care of her the next day. And you shouldn't have. Have you told the baby to take a day off? I'm like, it's the day after Halloween. This is not a day for parenting. But like, but the Heidi Klum Halloween party is really, it's even, and you don't even have to go to it to enjoy it. That's the thing. It's like there's always the whole Heidi Kloom Halloween party news cycle where you see what she did and you see what everybody else. Her getting ready and just like all the hints. And it is, I feel like to me, more important than Mariah Carey on Freezing.

Oh, yeah. If I have to choose one pop culture event and it's between Heidi Club Halloween party or Mariah Carey on Freezing, definitely I'm going with Heidi Clum. Although the two events are inextricably linked because Mariah Carey unfreezes the day after Halloween, right? Right. Of course, through all of Thanksgiving season. Yeah, she just really just runs right through it. Not a turkey in sight for that bitch. That's okay.

She shouldn't be spending her time eating. Not when she's being straight-jacketed onto stage, you know? Yeah. She can't take that extra weight on her or else who's going to prop her up. Although, you know, I don't think we talked about this, but was it last week? there was like a clip going around of Mariah Carey talking about different albums and stuff. And it was so, it was such a pleasure, you know. She has a new album.

She has a new album. But she was like naming like other artists. She was like listening to clips and identifying. So I was just, but it was, I know, it's sometimes, um, I think about Mariah Carey as kind of the spectacle that she is. And I was reminded that she is a very accomplished musician who has a tremendous knowledge. Yeah. Oh, yes.

And also like. We give so much shit to Mariah Carey, but if you ever go back and listen to the pop history episodes of Mariah Carey and just, I mean, dogged for fame. I mean, this is a, she also, there's so many albums. Yeah. And so many of them, she was a part of every aspect of every album. Yeah. And, I mean, obviously, not like playing the instruments. She's, you know.

But yeah, she's accomplished. But she's what hell is in the part of the production. But unfortunately, the only image I have of her is her unthawing every November 1st and then being wheeled out onto the stage at Rockefeller Center, yelling at everybody. Yelling at everybody because she just can't be expected to sing. Don't look me in the eye. And so then when you see a video of her being like showing that she actually is like an incredibly, you know, like an expert in her field, you're like, oh, yeah, of course. It's also weirdly enough, like I feel like every time I see her interacting with her children, I feel like, oh, it does seem like she is a parent. I mean, she is the parent that is around, you know, and it does seem like as they're getting older, it seems like she's having more fun, which I've heard tell that that happens at points.

But also, I think then it comes back around at some points that are not as fun. But, you know, I think that. Cross that bridge when you get to. Yeah, that the teenager. bridge you cross when you get to it. I really love hearing from people who, you know, ever since I had kids and I talk about parenting occasionally on the show, I'll hear from people. And a lot of times people who are parents who are ahead of me will check in with me about what it's like. And yeah, it sounds like the roller coaster never stops, but it is very funny to imagine Mariah

Carrie like doing the work of parenting. But again, I think she's doing it. Who knows? Yeah, I feel like simultaneously in my head, I could see her wanting to be very involved in it, but also I imagine she has quite a bit of help. I think that's, I would assume. Oh, well, we're at it. I do have to, my favorite quote of the week on celebrity news is a quote from Guedith Paltrow about her experience meeting Timothy Shalameh. because for some reason there is a 3,000 page profile of Gwyneth Paltrow in British Vogue that came out this week. Neither one of us. I was like, I tried.

I was like, thank you for the archive thing. And I appreciate it because now we are able to read these things. And I thank you for looking out. But I still won't, though, this one with good. I tried. We read the memoir. We read the memoir. We've done enough.

We've done enough. But it is the British Vogue headline, Gweth's second coming. I'm much easier on myself, I would say. Of course, we get to the I word within immediate. Also, Gwenette's second coming, where the fuck is she gone? I'm sorry. I think she ain't never left. She's been here the entire time spewing her bullshit.

She's never left and she just gets worse by the day. And this is such a, such a long article. But she does talk about meeting Timothy Chalabay on the set of Marty Supreme. and I'm just going to read the quote. I first met him at the costume test. I was asking him questions, trying to get to know him. Everybody makes fun of me because I don't know anything. I was like, do you have a girlfriend?

And he was like, I do. He mentioned that she had kids. And I was like, that's so cool. I really love to hear that from a young man like you. It's a cool choice to go out with a young woman who has two kids. I respect it. It's kind of punk rock. But my point is, I didn't know it was Kylie Jenner.

Yeah. So is it punk rock, goop? And also, it's just, all, I'm looking at the British Vogue article right now. And there's just, you're not having a comeback. This isn't, I just, yeah, I just, stop trying to make Gwen. I can't believe even for a second, I thought maybe I might like her. And I'm so glad that I rescinded that. I know. We both, we've both felt a moment of weakness during hot ones. I love the bitchiness, though. I do love that aspect of her. I like the fact that she's so healthy and smoke cigarettes. I think that's

kind of fun. But that's why we need Mariah, right? Like, it's like the bitchiness of Mariah is so much better than the bitchiness of Guineh. Yes. Yeah, because I do, yeah, exactly. And I think that Guedith, I'm going to say it on a spectrum of evil is more evil than Mariah Carey.

Oh my. There's no question. Mariah. I wouldn't even put Mariah in the room of people who are evil, whether as they. I mean, I hear she's not easy to work with. I hear you. Sure. Okay.

Deva does not equal. Yeah, you're right. Evil. You're right. You're right. Jackie. You're right. Jackie.

You are correct. It is just something about like when you have a band that is playing music for you to sing to and they're still not allowed to look you in the eyes. That's. That's alive. You would be nowhere without them. No, we call that knowing your worth. We call that. What is the thing that your mom says?

Tip your crown. and Yeah, straighten your crown and remember who your mother is, okay? But for Mariah, it's just straighten your crown and remember who you are. It's Mariah Carey. Yes, it's Mariah Carey.

But also, Gwyneth Paltrow, that would work for Gweth Paltrow. And remember your mother. Remember who your mother is. And remember how amazing Blythe Danner is and how classy Blythe Danner is. Okay. She should remember who her mother is more often

because her mother was a class act. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh, my God. Sorry. Sidebar. Someone sent me a real or a TikTok that was of Megan Markle.

And wait, did you see this? I sent it to you, the one with a jam? Wait, you said it to me. A listener sent it to me. And then I sent it to you, yes. Of Megan Markle doing like the canning work. And it's supposed to, and it's a professional photo. Like, I don't know if it's in her book or what.

And she's in the middle of canning. And for those of you that are unaware, when you're canning, you usually have this large pot. And what you also need is a large set of tongs to go in with like a silicone grip to grab the jars out of that. Because we're all terrified of botulism. I feel like even if you don't know how to can, we all know that you can't get any germs in the can and you'll get botulism. So there's all these tools. And it's well known in the canning community, what kind of tools you need.

Yes. And I have attempted to can multiple times. and I have not been able to, so I'm not pretending like this is an easy thing to do. But Megan Markle in the picture is obviously holding the tongs inside of the pot upside down and is grabbing the wrong side that. So it's obvious, A, that she's not, I mean, you're taking pictures, so obviously you're not in the process of canning while you're doing it. And that's fair and understandable.

But nobody, nobody, and I think MJ, nobody told her. her. I don't think nobody notice. How did nobody notice? Nobody noticed the tongs are upside down. Nobody noticed. Nobody in that room knows how to can. Yeah. No, that's, this TikTok is so funny. Talk about sabotage. Alaria, if you want to talk sabotage, that's sabotage. That is somebody being like, what if we don't tell her? You know? Tell her the tongs are upside down. Yeah. Or I guess I'm sure maybe it's people that don't know anything about canning, but at the end of the day, it's not like, they're still tongs. So you're going to use the, like, fairly, it's not, it's not like, oh, I was given a food processor

with a million parts and no, I didn't know how to put it together, I didn't know I use it. But I'm just saying. Yeah, no, she was sabotaged. She should talk more about the sabotage. Sabotage. Did you, and I don't know if you watch, again, we can save it for later in the show, but I don't know if you watched the interstitials this week of Dancing with the Stars, but they did.

Oh, I watched the whole goddamn thing, MJ. Did you catch the moment? towards the end when that judge who I just today learned is the brother of the host Julianne, her. And then that blonde guy is her brother. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why he liked all the dancing brother,

all the sibling dances. Your sister, your brother. You both of the sister. But yeah, they dance together, MJ, and I can't, I know. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Do you imagine Henry and I, like, like gripping on each other and flip and then like he's got

and then I'm up and then he's over and then he's like caressing. Like if I want no caress. No, you have to be like what type of what ballroom dance involves no touching? No touching. That's the one. I guess it's the fox truck. I don't know if I care for a vox trot.

We'll talk about it. But but that guy, the brother of Julietette Ho, he was a little shady this week about hilarious claims of sabotage because he was like, he was like, you know, the vibes this week have been really negative. Is that what it was about? I didn't even realize, okay, I didn't know what that was. Maybe there's some other high-profile negative vibe happening about Dancing with the Stars, right? But the whole last week, every single news story about Dancing with the Stars was about how

Hilaria is claiming to be sabotaged and how apparently nobody likes Gleb and nobody likes Hilaria. And there's a lot, there's a lot of different flavors of sabotage and negativity about dancing with the Stars last week that you could go down. But I assume that when he said there's been a lot of negativity about the show. And this show is all about good vibes. I assumed that that was a dig at the Hilaria. Either Hilaria or Gle. Again, I don't, I, I'm just learning about the deep lore of dancing with the stars now,

but it sounds like Gleb has had some controversy in the past. Gleb has had a couple of dips into the dancing with the star kettle. I'll tell you that. He's putting his tongs in there. Oh, yeah. They're upside down there sideways. Hey, I don't even know how he's getting those tongs in there. I do weirdly, you know what, I don't want to defend her, but I do need to immediately go back on what I said earlier because I just happened to have the British Vogue article up, the Gwyneth Paltrow.

And I see in this because I spotted the word enagram. And of course, I immediately wanted to make a joke about that, even though Sevens rise up. But I had said that Gwinez Paltrow is still a smoker, but apparently she's not anymore. She says, So the person interviewing her asked when her last Siggy was and she says, oh, sadly, I remember it well. It was the night we got married seven years ago. We were redoing our paperwork and I got life insurance. And it said that if anything happened to me and they knew that I had smoked a cigarette, it would nullify the whole thing. Because I'm such an enneagram one, which is like integrity is everything. I never smoked again. And she does say, I miss it though.

I was saying to Brad. Maybe when I'm 85, I'll start again. That'd be so awesome. I'm sorry. Integrity is everything. Inegrity is everything. You stopped smoking seven years ago. Goop as a website is, what, 15 years old?

Oh, yeah. Oh, integrity is everything. You're telling everyone to fucking do the master cleanse and avoid. You're telling everybody. Don't go to the oncologist. To put ozone therapy up their ass. And your integrity is everything. Treat your own breast cancer.

but don't. But you're not going to disclose that you were fucking smoking cigarettes that entire time, but I'm such an Enagram one. She's Engram 1, MJ. Please. Maybe you haven't been getting into the Enogram system, but you get to know it a little bit better. Just like goop. Oh, quite a.

No. Oh, my God. When was the last time she ate junk food? Oh, last night. A friend came over and I ate a chocolate-covered Oreo. Oh, my God. Just get, you know, that is trans fats to the max.

That's what she says. That is trans fats to the max. Just don't answer in that case. That's trans fats to the max. Ew, if I ever say, that's trans fats to the max. Just cut my head off. I'd like to be beheaded.

I want you to guillotine me in front of everybody. I'm fine with that. I'm, I'm, yeah. I mean, imagine how splirty and then I'm, and like my mouth is still trying to talk me. Like, get me an hour ago. Kiss me. want more trans fat.

Like it's the last thing I say. You'd be trying to get my head podcast in. Oh, I would put a bag of a lot of. So everyone gets the perspective of me and the guillotine and how I feel and what that feels like for me. Yeah. Okay. I need a pallet cleanser and I'm sorry I'm bouncing all over the place, but I'm going to

something that is making me very happy this week in pop culture news, which is the fashier. The pussy hair. No, we'll talk about Kim Kardashian's busier. I want to talk about how the fact that now that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are divorced, they can finally enjoy each other again. And they're playing grand ass on the red carpet. They're flirting. They're making eyes at each other.

They can't keep them away. They just aren't meant to be married, you know, or in a relationship. They're meant to flirt. We all know, I'm going to guess they're being told to do this. I'm going to assume that this is a part of like, you know, keep the peace. Let's make everything. Everything's good. Everything's good. Don't act untoward. But man, I tell you, they're very good at acting. They, you know, I know that Ben Affleck is a good actor. I have said that Jennifer Lopez is a good actor. Are they good enough actors to be that flirtatious on the red carpet and have it? Not according to Gile, but I will say the look on her face. She's radiant with him. He like he's behind her. Maybe they're just not meant to be married, MJ.

If you see the clip, it's like she's doing an interview. Oh my God, it brought me back to having a fucking crush in high school. It's like she's doing an interview on camera, on the red carpet, and then he's behind her. And there's like, you know, multiple angles of this interaction. And so if you watch the above angle, it's like he like taps her shoulder, but then kind of like retreats. And she like looks back and is like, like can't see it. And then they like catch each other. I would die to have that feeling.

again. Honestly, I stopped an episode of Hannibal that we were watching last night to liken the two of them to Ben Affleck and J-Lo. Yeah. Because I don't want to spoil anything, but there is a part Will-they Won't-A. Let's say what, it's definitely like a will-day, won't-they, but like, like, murder-esque. And, like, he definitely goes through all this trouble to do something. And he then, like, having to drag it all the way over just for him to go over and be like, guess we're even Stephen. And then leave. And I'm just like, can you imagine they're both rock hard, rock hard, and he's just like,

and then he's like, yeah, guess we're even, yeah, kiss we're even. And then like he leaves. And all I could think of was, imagine going to those lengths just to be like, hey, I like you. Hey, I like, I like you. and I like what you do. And it really, like, to have, to do that with somebody who you have been married to and divorced from twice, or I guess maybe the first time they never, whatever, like, to have a 20 year.

Yeah, please. It was an engagement. It was an engagement, MJ. It was an engagement. Diet Keaton voice. But, but I've never really, like, I've had, you know, ongoing fuckabouts with gentlemen, but I've never had like a long, do-toe.

Meaning like, you know, somebody who you don't trust as far as you can throw them, but you can check back in here and there over the years. Like that's, but I've, the idea of having like a 20-year, like, level of on and off that they have sounds very difficult. But they make it look great. They really make it look like a lot of fun. But think of all the lonely times in between, MJ. We don't see all the loneliness. I know.

We don't see it. He had to marry Jennifer Garner. He had to stup the nanny. He had to destroy his relationship. relationship with Jennifer Garner, all to get, and then he had to go ahead and marry Jennifer Lopez and then divorce her, just to get that level of fun flirtation on the red carpet. Oh, what if the next one is, that was me then? And then they get back together and they have another doc. Yeah. It's never going to happen, MJ. Get it out of your brain. I know. I know.

Well, and first and foremost, if they get back together, they need to not work together, although he is executive producing the film she's in, right? now. I, you know, I hear tale that maybe Kiss of the Spider Woman is not that good. Oh no. I am going to see it. Will I be seeing it by myself?

Maybe. But that's okay. Adam? Adam's in. All right, great. I got Adam. There you go see it with me. I can't see it by myself.

That would be trans fats to the max. You cannot add that into the page seven lexicon, Jackie. I'm putting up a block. I have a veto card and I'm using it. I ping from thing to thing. You know I'm going to forget about it by the end of the episode. Don't worry about me. Fucking trans fats to the max.

How dare you. I do love their love and I need, I know we need to get past it. And man, there's lots of things I'm never going to get past. And that is my love for Elvira and my love for Spooky. season and my love for, I don't know if I need to get, Elvira just dropped a cookbook from hell. And I, you know, it's very rare that I purchase a cookbook. I think I have to have this one. And it just makes me, then I realize it was like, I can't believe Elvira has never put

out a book before, but she had. And that's why I'm like, MJ, we have to read Elvira's memoir. That's why we're going to read her memoir. Why don't you like cookbooks? you're such a cooker. You know, I never look in them. Uh-huh. Even back, I kind of forget about them.

See, I feel like I don't, unfortunately, I don't look at them that much anymore, but I used to like, oh my God, like, I feel like when I was first, like, trying to teach myself how to cook, I would just like spend an afternoon looking through a cook, like, not even with the intent of making something, but just for the, like, for the pleasure of looking at the pictures and figuring out what people do and stuff. Yes. and bookmarking things I want to try. I used to be, and also I used to be crazy about food magazines.

I love food magazines. Every food magazine. Every time I travel. Network magazine. I got Delish. The food network magazine is good. I mean, mostly ads. It's mostly, and the recipes are like bad.

That's like, that's the, they're not that good. No, that you get food network. It's like, yeah, that's like the us weekly of cooking magazines. And then, yeah, you get your delish or your. you know, the actual good ones. But your higher end. Now, how do we think the recipes in Elvirus cookbook are? I think that this would be perfect for you.

It's a 120-page book of colorful recipes you created to spice up dinner parties and social gatherings. You're always cooking for fucking 25 people who work at Last Podcast Network. You're right. You are correct. And so that's why I feel like I do need to, I think I need this one. I think that maybe it'll open up my brain space to what could be spooky. in my home. More adventures. And I'm excited because I really want to make my little ghosties.

It's very easy, which maybe you can make it with the kids too. It's very easy to make little ghosties out of just, I mean, I use usually like a shot glass and like a tinfoil ball on top and you roll out dryable, like not Plato, but clay, and you lay it over it and then you can draw the face and it will harden in the shape after you lay it over the like shot glass with a little bit of tinfoil on the top. Do you, is that this is like a Jackie Halloween craft activity that you do? I've been making lots of little, I haven't this year, but last year I did and I purchased all the stuff to make it.

No, I just keep staring at it. And I'm going to get to those ghosties because then you can put a little tea light underneath and then they, it goes through their little faces. Oh, yeah, that's fun. I'll do that. It's a fairly easy craft too. and you don't need much. I was thinking that you were going to do,

because there's also like everybody wants me, every social media algorithm wants me to make little like, you know, fucking what are, mummies, like pigs in a blanket, but their mummies. The hot dog mommies.

It's more difficult. Although, you know, if you roll it out, it depends on if you're doing it by yourself or if you're doing it with the children. I feel like the wrapping of the mummy dogs is a bit of a more advanced technique.

Yeah. Because they all, unless you don't give a shit what they look like. I mean, if you don't care, yeah, then everybody can make the mommy obvious. So this year might be the year I should try because my kids, thank God, we've been trying to figure out how to break the spell that YouTube has on them. And I've got the antidote. What broke it? What broke it? What is it?

Dude, it's, is it cake with Mike Tay on that place. Wow. Wow. It's cake. It's fuck it. Thank God. Thank you. Is it Cake? I tried to watch Is It Cake as an adult when it first started. And I found it, and I, you know, I'll watch fucking anything on Food Network. And I found it to be a little hard to take. I was like, this is, this is not for me. But my kids, man, they get so excited when the people guess correctly, whether it's cake or not. They, they get, they're really rooting for people. They're like, one of the bakers is from New York. And they're like, we've got to order a cake from her. She's our favorite. They're really, they get very emotional.

invested. But again, the stakes are so low. And I have tried to tell them, like, the great thing about these shows is that, like, you're kind of win just by being here because now more people know about their business. And like, you don't even have to win the $10,000. But they're like, No, if they lose, they will go and burn down their business. And they lose everything. If they don't if it's fucking cake or not, they're going to lose it. So this is, if you two have been a bit baffled by the success of Isid Cake. May I suggest watching it with like a very earnest, you know, easily excited six and seven year old because it's, and now they're like, yeah, they're talking about fondant.

They're talking about modeling chocolate. They're talking like they, I think if I said, come, we're going to make mummies out of hot dogs. They don't even eat hot dogs anymore, but they would definitely do it, you know. So I think I need to like, I think I need to capitalize on the momentum of food creation that is it cake is the fire that it has put underneath us. Oh, for sure. Oh, there's so many things that you can, you know, it's like ways in which you can get them to eat other shit, I imagine, too, if you just turn it into a craft. Do they love making stuff? On Instagram's full of shit like that. Oh, do you want to be a fun mom? Turn this kiwi into a mummy.

Oh, no, you just set it in front of the phone and now it's all we're going to receive. I don't want it. Phone. I do not want this. So if you could not give me this, that would be great. No, you're going to be doing the Elvira recipe. More adventurous offerings include the roasted brains featuring an oven-roasted cauliflower, drizzled in mint lime, and jalapeno chutney. See, that's fun. It is fun. I mean, I remember, I think was it last year when Henry and I tried to make spooky lasagnas. Yeah. And we were trying to compete with who could make the spookier lasagna.

And so he was doing the blood lasagna and I was doing the slime lasagna, which we were just doing like a white, I was doing like a green sauce, but like a white sauce lasagna versus a red lasagna. lasagna. And obviously, oh, I beat him to fucking smithereens. And I tell you, oh, man, I made these like eyeballs. I made it all really gushy and very upsetting. And, you know, we didn't show the full products to the children, but they ate that lasagna. Yeah. I, I think now this is, I have to bring in, like, you know, we were in holiday season. Everything's going to be holiday themed until January 1st. Yeah, are you ready for this? How do you feel about this?

I am. I'm sighing just because, again, the Instagram algorithm is out there to make it be like, if you're not doing fun shit for your kids all fucking day, do you even, do you even care about them, you know?

Yeah, I don't know if you do. And I'm not. But I do care about them, but I'm not doing those things. But I am excited for, I am excited for Halloween. I really love Kid Halloween. I love Heidi Klum Halloween,

and I love Kid Halloween. I really am very excited. I want to be baby Saja from the Saja Boys. I think Gideon's going to be Gnu, I think. Kids don't even want to be K-pop Demon Hunters. We're just going to be Saja Boys without Huntricks.

Wow, they've already moved on. It's not even that they've moved on. It's just that they have this one particular, they're kind of reverse engineered. They, just like before I came out, I would always use Halloween as an opportunity to dress in male drag because that was what I wanted to do.

And because they're high femmes, they just use Halloween as an opportunity to dress in like the fanciest dress they possibly can. They really don't want to do. Hell yeah. Yeah. So they have like a dress that they're kind of reverse engineering an outfit out of. Honestly, bro, I have not the bandwidth this year for coming. Usually I love Halloween. I love coming up with a big costume.

I like putting time into it. And I just don't have it this year. And in my brain, Jeff last night was like, what do you want to be? And I was like, I just want to be a. sexy witch. There you know. Be a sexy witch. He's like, what does it matter?

I was like, I just want to be sexy and I just want to feel good. And I just want to pretend like I'm not a human being and that I have magic. I mean, I kind of want to just be, I was thinking about, I was like, if I go as Willow, then, and with no Buffy, no Zander, no anybody else, it's just me as Willow. Like I don't think that is, you know, what a 38-year-old. I'm not going to say should do because that shouldn't matter. But you know what I mean? I feel like it's kind of lost.

I'm going to say this and I want you to know I'm saying it with absolute love and admiration. I think you're a Tara. Whoa, thank you so much. But again, that makes it even more niche if I'm Tara from Buffy in the Vampire Slayer. There's no such thing as niche with Buffy. No distinguishing qualities whatsoever. But if Buffy person there that they will know because Buffy people know everything that has ever happened in that show every episode, every episode number. Who are we surrounded by, MJ?

We're surrounded by comedians. A lot of comedians and a lot of them don't have the emotional wherewithal to love Buffy enough. They're too emotionally frozen. Okay. Yes, they are. They all are. I mean, just look at the video that I am going to post of us watching the Robert Irwin dance. None of them were crying.

I'm crying in the middle. Like, we're in the studio. We're shooting. It's full set. Everybody's there. Everybody's in costume. I have, like, I'm plugged in trying to watch the dancing of the stars while I'm doing other stuff. And then I watched the Robert Irwin dance and I made them all gather around to watch it.

And some of them cared. But some of them did it. I know. And I know who didn't care. And they're on my shit list. You know who didn't care. Sorry, we're not even going to get to that to that just yet because I do need to bring up that there is double Mayo News. And I know, MJ, you don't care about Mayo News.

But for those of you out there that do, and they come to me as the source for their Mayo News, don't. You should probably go somewhere else. Are you doing like a play on the word mayonnaise? Like Mayo News? You know, I wasn't, but now I am. Mayo News. My own news. You know, somebody

called me about some mayonnaise. And now that's going to be the whole rest of the show. It's just me talking about mayonnaise, which I could. Don't get me wrong. You don't want us to talk about Taylor Swift. Well, then what about mayonnaise? And what about garlic mayonnaise?

Because I have to bring this up because I am living life as a vampire. Also, speaking of October 29th, we've got a date. We've got a date. a date, y'all, and you've got a date with your eyeballs with some vampires over on the last podcast network. So that's part of the reason why I wanted to bring up if you are interested in TTRPGs, which is, and for those of you that do not know, it is tabletop role playing games,

which is like D&D. For those of you that did not know, there is a game called Vampire the Masquerade that is like D&D that we are playing. And I am only saying like D&D to get that. just like overall, but it really is nothing like D&D. It's very different from D&D, but just for those of you that are not really aware of the world. October 29th, we're going to be vampires. That's really exciting. And that's why I wanted to bring up,

Hellman's made a vampire-proof book using garlic aoli ink. Now this is, I am currently reading the first of the Blood and Ash series, so it's why I was even more like, so it is Jennifer L. Armandrow. next book that they are doing this big collab with Helmins to make a vampire-proof edition of their next book using the garlic aoli as ink, which is interesting because I will throw it out there. Helmins, like, I feel like we should talk about this because in a lot of the lores of vampires, garlic doesn't fucking mean anything. And that's kind of like, you know,

it's like almost like you don't know anything about us and you're trying to be but I am trying to appreciate the capitalistic journey that they're making. I really struggle with, why do condiments keep partnering with authors? This is like the third condiment author partner story. There was, or I guess it's not only condiments, it's food. Like there was the Jimmy Johns, Walt and Gagons book collab. There was another one. The smut.

And then there was another book food collab that we talked about. And now the mayonnaise is in the book. And now the mayonnaise is in the book. And I don't want to be a piss pot talking about capitalism and everything. But I'm just like, can you get this mayonnaise logo off my book? You know, that's how I feel about it. So I'm glad that you're excited and I support you and I don't want to steal your joy. My counterpoint is that I don't want to think.

about mayonnaise when I'm reading a book. I don't want my book to smell like garlic. And even if I did, I don't want my book to be Hellman's branded. You don't want it to be greasy to the touch. I don't want it to smell. The idea of a book that smells like garlic mayonnaise is, I mean, it's funny. I'll give you that. It is kind of funny. It's marketable. But yeah, you know, I think that like it's the book talk thing. Obviously, book talk is like, oh, like, what's make. And, you know, This is how I felt about Harry Potter when it started is like, okay, yeah, this does seem like a bit of a like product, you know, like a rush to sell things. And also, anything that gets anybody reading is always a win. And I do believe that. You're right. And so I try to be really, you know, non-judgy about any popular book stuff because I'm like, if you're, I love to read stupid books too. And I think that this is great. But I feel like I don't, I'm not in the book talk world. But it, the, the quote in this article is most would. and expect a condiment brand to tap into book talk culture, but at Helmonds, we thrive on surprise. Gracie book.

Oh, you know, why do you just take out the book, smear a bunch of mayonnaise in between the pages, and then I feel like you're kind of getting the same thing. You can rub it in. Like, remember how you can, like, go on a grave with wax paper? It's not wax paper. I forget what it is. And then you rub the grave. Yeah, yeah, you do your little crayon impression.

Yes. Yeah, so do that, but with mayonnaise. Yeah, yeah. And then, right, there was the Walton Gaggins book thing. And then, yeah, I'm forgetting the third. And, yeah, you know, I understand this is the world we live in. The other mayonnaise story, of course, being the Halloween-themed mayo every year. Why are you saying it like that, MJ?

Every year. We're talking about the monster munch, pickled onion flavor mayo. I, rolls off the tongue. Something that is so, like, easy, like, wow, of course they're making this. They have to make this, MJ. In fact, I did go, just because they had a monster meal, I went to Burger King to get, I found, I don't live even near Burger King. I found Burger King because they were doing specific monster meal stuff. And I wanted to try it because it was all like, you know, it's like you could get the whole like monster thing, right?

You can get the purple burger. You can get the nuggets that are shaped like bats. You can get the, they call them. Mummy sticks, even though they were just mozzarella sticks, and at like a Sunday. That tasted fine. But, MJ,

what you do get with those meals is for some reason they gave us two Halloween-themed Burger King crowns. And I'm obsessed with mine, and I keep putting it on. And that is, I don't know if Burger King realizes

that maybe they're marketing for old, sad guys. women, but when you put a Frankenstein nugget on a crown, I fucking tell you what, I'm putting that crown on. I have it on the dashboard of my car and I said, Jeff, I'm scared to park this out in public because I'm worried that people will know my car is royalty. And I'm worried that people are going to try an F with my stuff because obviously I am a cut above the rest. Yeah, no, this is news I can news, actually. I am going to use this news this weekend. I'm going to take my kids to a Burger King, and we're going to do this. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Yeah, I think you got bought to live. Make it purple. I'll buy it. If you make it purple, I will purchase it. And it does, yeah, you can get like the little Sunday. And I can't, I can't tell you what the flavor. There were purple things in it, but I don't really know. It was just crunchy vanilla Sunday. Yeah, well, luckily, I haven't banned food dyes from my home, so I'll let the kids eat whatever purple food they want.

Thank God. Oh, good. I say let it give them a little hyperactivity. Yeah, honestly, it's just making them more fun. Yeah, we could all have a little food die as a tree. Yeah, I mean, don't even say that to me with my snakes. I don't know what Haribos practices are, and I don't know if I want a harrow-no or what they're putting into those gummies, because I tell you, I hoove them into my mouth. It is when you know you're in a specific place where usually my like food fixations really like change out fairly like every like three weeks. Man, twin snakes here to stay. They ain't going nowhere. I don't know what to do without my snakes. I'm getting to a point though that now my anxiety is like, do I have a bag of snakes in my purse?

And I was like, hey, Jackie's anxiety, we don't need to always have a bag of snakes on us. It's not like we're going to die if we don't have the snakes. Like it'll be fine. You have your water bottle. You have your coffee that you have to bring everywhere. That's enough. That's enough anxiety things that you get to bring places. This is like when I had to prep my kids for going to a party with a pinata because sometimes that can be a source of real stress.

And I said, we live in New York City. We're never more than 10 feet from the opportunity to buy candy. So even if you don't get the amount of candy that you hope and you want something else, we are we are surrounded. We couldn't possibly not pass a candy store even if we tried. God, I love that you, you know, it's like you're a parent that it's like talking to your children about their anxiety. Like I can't even imagine being given that option as, but just because they didn't talk to kids like that back that. You know, it's like it just wasn't done. And I feel like my brain.

It's like, oh, but I've been finding things to be anxious about since the beginning of time. And no one ever worked on those things. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, I think the big question for our generation is, does all the talking help? I will tell. And we will find out. But will that be before or after you get your delivery of Kim Kardashian's skim's thong underwear with faux pubic hair?

We're talking about the pussy panties. We're talking about the pussie panties. Jackie was like, we did to talk about the Kim Kardashian thing. And I was like, the call her daddy thing. I was like, I thought we didn't really talk about Kim Kardashian. And she was like, no, the pussy panties. It's like, oh. It's funny because I got an alert on my phone that Kim Kardashian was selling these faux hair thongs on my phone. And I left this studio to walk outside. I saw my brother in another room and I was walking past. I was barely acknowledging him. And he goes, you see those pussy padded?

You see that? Put that at the show. All right, boss. I love it. It's so cute because being in the studio more often, like, we're all, we've all been, which is great. We're going to have a lot more stuff coming out very soon. We've all been really working a lot in the studio and seeing each other a lot. And it is great when like anything, celebrity, anything, they have to find me in the building and make sure I saw it.

And I was like, I appreciate you. And thank you for looking out. Because here's the thing. My brain's not always in page seven mode. Right. And so I do, you know, I think if you listen to the show long enough, you hear that there's some things out there that just are. in our brain space. Yeah.

And that's okay. Yeah. And yeah, there's just a lot of things that we don't, I feel like engaging with, like generally. But Harry Panis. But Harry Panis. As a person is one of those things. Hairy Panties, the faux hair microstring thong, which features a mix of curly and straight faux

hair in 12 different shade variations from skims. Yes, from skims. And don't worry, there is a mix of curly and straight faux hair just to make sure, you know, that you feel. valid in your pussy hair panties. And I, you know, they do, it does come in varying shades. So no matter what, you can also have hair on top of your hairy pussy if you have one. Or I guess even if you don't have one, you could just put it and just put it over to the side of whatever you got.

Or you could try and shove, I guess if you have a penis, you could probably shove a penis at him, would you? He would. He definitely said he would. I didn't wait for his answer. I need everyone to know, but he did say yes. You know, we're talking about it. Yeah. And Skims is always finding a way for us to be talking about Skims.

Yeah. And I know not necessarily on this show, but for anybody that looks at celebrity gossip or celebrity news, Skims is, you know, is a PR campaign. Yeah. And they did a great job with it because it is definitely the kind of thing that it sold out so quickly. And everybody's like, how did it? It's like because they made a limited edition because it's a PR stunt. I have heard. We don't need to flip out.

It's not like, what has this world come to? It's like, it's a PR stuff with guys. This is what she does and, you know, whatever. It's fine. And if you have the money to waste on that, I guess waste the money on that. Have you ever tried the big old corsets we're all supposed to be shoved ourselves into? People will love them. And I truly say this without judgment.

Shape with a shape where, you know, things. Are you talking about just like spank? in general and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, Skims is all about the shove yourself into this thing. Shapeware. It's all shapeware. And I'm just, I do say it without judgment. I do say it with curiosity that it, that making something be all tight to suck me in doesn't,

I know you talked about this a little bit when she made the face sucker. The face sucker, yeah. Yeah, it doesn't look, it looks like if I was wearing that throughout the day I would just slowly get more and more homicidal from the discomfort. of it. But again, people love their shapewear, and so I am curious. Also, I've talked to a lot of stylists that talk about specifically, it's like when, you know, I think I've brought this up here before, it's like, you see like Beyonce wears Spanx. Like, Lady Gaga wears shapewear. It's also a part of how the clothes lay because then it is just. If you're wearing like a tight dress, you don't

have all the, all the undie lines and stuff. But it also like helps not like things not right up and the way things bunch and the way it helps like with how your clothes lay. So it's not always necessary like you really not like for me you know when I when I'm like sucking it all in I'm getting a smaller size

to suck it all in. Right. But then it's like of course it just pooches on the top of it or it rolls down. Exactly. So you just get it is getting a larger size. You just need to not get the one that sucks and then it smooths you rather than sucking you in like a sausage case.

It just smooths you. But I'm saying this as someone that I don't remember the last time I actually wore shapewear. Like I don't actually. I, you know, be like me and just pretend like you're young. And now I wear everything four sizes too big. And it's great. Yeah. And it's wonderful and I'm comfortable all the time.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I like I, I guess the thing is I just don't even care of skims as a quality product or not because I won't, I won't be buying it because I just don't. I don't. that's whatever. I don't really like her, but also it's like we can't really be pure in the way we buy things. And sometimes you buy something from somebody you don't like. But it's also, it is like, you know, even in this article, it's like Kim Kardashian says it started off with simply finding shapewear that was a skin tone that would match my color. I used to take my shapewear and diet with

tea bags and coffee in the bathtub. And that is actually a true, like that was a very true reality for many, many people for a very, very, very long time. And I will say, skims does give quite a diverse line of like of available sizes as well as I mean so it's like and and colors so I know that it is also she did fill a hole in the market I mean she did she is bringing it's like you know if you don't want to give your money to yitty you know you can give your money to skims and if you don't want to give your money skims and if you don't want to give your money to yiddy if you want to get it's like there's there there are other places but like you know I And I'm saying this, I also want to say, I do not know if she was the first person to do this.

I have not researched it. That's hard of her. I also know that like Rihanna, like I'm sure like in all of that stuff, you know, it's like, I don't know who did it first. I'm not throwing that out there. Right. I'm just saying it is, I am happy that at least it is, it is more of an inclusive brand. And even though all of that is to sell her product. Yeah.

she is providing a product for a lot of people that couldn't get it in the past. So, yeah. I'm not buying from them, but if you do, no judgment here. But you know who I would do anything for real quick before we get to Dancing with the Stars? Shout out to Cardi B. I love everything she does. I mean, I don't endorse everything she does, but I love everything she does. And she had a video like a part of her Instagram Live go viral this week that was her discovering what rents are currently in the Bronx. And it's just so specific.

She's like, you used to be able to like live in New Rochelle for cheaper, which is just like such a specific New York City thing. Like, yeah, when you get priced out of the Bronx, you go to New Rochelle. And she's like, now it's like $1,500 for a place for a one bedroom in New Rochelle. And she goes, I'm so sorry. I asked you guys to buy my album. And she's just so funny and so like. And also she's just very, very, she's always been very good at talking about inequality and income inequality. she did that great interview with Bernie back in,

was that the 2020 campaign? Like she's really at her best when she talks about this stuff. And yeah, I just love her being like, I am so sorry. I've been asking you guys to buy my album when I did not realize the cost of living. And also such a highlight of how out of touch

literally every other famous person is. And I was just talking about this over on Jackie's book club in our Sookie Stackhouse. because I was talking about how I'm annoyed often in Sookie Stackhouse that she has to work so hard as a waitress and she can barely pay her bills when I'm like, you're around these vampires. They don't have, nobody's got money. Nobody's going to give you money. Like, why do you still have to do this when you're doing all this shit and you're fucking a vampire that has money? Nobody's going to give you something.

And I was like, it's so crazy that I know in the lore of vampiredom, you usually. like past when you become a vampire, it's difficult for them to grow and to like, you know, maintain culture and to like stay ahead of the times because they are cast away a little bit. But in the world of Sookie Stackhouse, vampires are all known. Like people know that vampires exist. So you can, like there's a way for her to get money. And then I just went on a tirade about how when you make money and yes, they are vampires, so maybe they're not thinking about the current culture.

but it is true for so many people that you make so much money and then you forget what life is to not have a lot of money and I've watched this happen to people before and you're just like it's so crazy it's like you realize it's like yeah why don't you just get that like last minute plane ticket

it's like you know not everybody can do that right I know that most people can't right how quickly people forget what it's like to make decisions not having enough money and I mean Cardi came up with like nothing. So I'm not even saying that. Like I'm not, but like the fact that the rent has changed so much and she has no idea. Well, and I think, right. And I think it's because of like, yeah, I feel like she's always been, remained so connected to like to the Bronx and to like how she came up that she is

able to access the memories of what rent is supposed to be in a way that like, yeah, I mean, you know, I don't know if Taylor has heard the word rent, you know, in 10 years, right? Like, and I don't think so. And I just, it's so just refreshing to have somebody, have a famous person. Somebody. Acknowledge it. And also another thing that happened this week with Cardi was that she was complaining about how uncomfortable it is to be pregnant.

And somebody said, then why do you keep getting pregnant? And she responded, because I keep fucking. Which is just stuck shy. I love her. You know, I know. You can send us the emails. I know what she did in the past. But I do.

I just like, I love her. I do. I love her. I do love her. And almost as much as I love, you'll be in my heart. And baby, you'll be in my heart. Robert Irwin.

Robert Irwin, everybody. It was dedication week. Yes, it's time to talk, dancing with the stars. I am trying to attempt to keep it to the end of the episode. You don't give a shit about dancing with the stars. You may leave. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. It's okay.

We got like dance-pilled so hard, so fast, MJ. We went from, I mean, I was calling it even the other show. I don't even remember. So I kept the call and so you think he did it. I'm not even thinking about so you think he can dance. I put it in the trash who gives a shit, not that I'm saying maybe it's a great show. It's great.

Because you know what Robert Irwin's dance style was this week? It was contemporary. And you know what? So you think you can dance does very well. a lot of story like contemporary dances that tell a story and I love that shit. I didn't I feel like contemporary dance is such a punchline but I'm here to say that contemporary dance is awesome and he he did this beautiful fucking dance for dedication week that was oh you think he's going to dedicate it to his daddy because his daddy is Steve Irwin no he dedicated it to his mom because he said that he cannot

believe I will cry as I'm talking about this he was saying he cannot believe that his mom was to keep putting one foot in front of the other and parenting them after Steve died. And he was saying how grateful he was that she was able to be such a good and present mom for them. And when they go to interviewing her, she was like, it's the opposite. Like if it wasn't for them, I couldn't have kept going. Oh, my God. And it's just this dedication week for those that don't watch, they like go through the whole like interview and the whole. And then they, like, talk about, like, why you brought some, and just, you watch the process of it.

And I know that this is for people that watch every week, they're like, yeah, Jackie, that's what the fucking show is. But this was dedication week. So it was all very personal things. Except if you're Topanga and you just do, I can't, Mr. Feeney. Everybody did someone in their life, like a family member. Or I like, uh, who's the mom, the sexy mom from parent draft. Elaine did her, like, best friends with Jesse. Yes.

That was really, like I actually was very moved by that because a lot of the people did their parent, their child, like Andy Richter did his, his daughter. Oh my God, Andy Richter's was so cute. It was really nice. Yeah. So Andy Richter has two like older kids and then he got remarried and they had another kid and it was one of these. No, no, I'm wrong. She already had a kid. They got, he got married to somebody and then she had a, she was a single mom.

She had a kid. And then so he became the dad and he adopted her. and that's what it is. So it got a young kid in his life unexpectedly. And that was lovely. And then, yeah, what is it? And they started with that one. It was really nice.

I was upset that Robert Irwin was second. I was like, don't do this so early. Don't do this to me so early. They want to get you crying so that you stay crying, I think, because, you know, that was definitely the most moving one. But yeah, there were a lot that were very moving. Dylan Ephron danced with Dylan Ephron is 33. Oh, okay.

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Oh, wait, wait, wait, way, wait, way, way, way, MJ. I am not going to not bring up the fact that you definitely said that Dylan Efron is hot. I said it. I did not. You said it. I did not see it until this week.

And then I find, because Jackie keeps talking about Dylan Ephron being hot and I keep and like, have fun. I don't see it. And you watched him cry about how connected he is to his youngest sister that, like, it was another one of, it was like that kind of situation where he at first was like, I'm in my late 20s and you're having another kid. Okay. And then they just have connected.

And like all the pictures and the way that he talks about her, but then also the way that she talks about him and like what it, what he means to her. And because she's, she was what? Like five or six. Yeah. And oh, and you could tell like kids like that like kids that age like that child wasn't acting. No, no. Like the way they love like she loves her older brother so much.

No, it was it was very sweet. They both danced to a song that was a Zach Efron song from Greatest Showman. And so that's also cute. So it was a brother and a sister dancing to their older brothers. And he was crying about his connection. And then I cried. And he is, he is. I mean, every week.

I think I, I need to, for me, you know, I struggle with this every week. I'm trying to remove my feelings for Robert Irwin and place them upon Dylan Afford. That is correct. And I think, but I just, I find Robert Irwin to be like so deeply non-sexual. Like, it's like, I, I, like. Oh, well. Oh, right. Yeah.

I find Robert Irwin to be the most, and I say this with great love, sexless. He's just a, it's like I couldn't possibly feel any stirrings for him. He's just an animal love. Like he feels like he's just an animal. He's just loves animals. I'm an animal there. Ed Larson, you have a cold heart. I was also twisting myself into knots trying to figure out, this is silly.

I was like, how could Dylan F. Proud's mom have had two kids, 28 years apart. And then I was like, it was probably the dad's kid. Because that's usually the... They can just keep on trucking. Reproductive window is not 28 years long as far as I, unless she had them when she was very young. But then I realized because another person there, the influencer girl, was also there with her much younger sister. And she was like, my parents got divorced. And then my dad had another kid. And at first, I was very upset. And then that kid has become this huge

important part of my life. And that was also very sweet. Can I just say, Alex Earl, usually, you know, I've been watching, she's doing a great job. Wow. It was a contemporary dance. And she was, like, she was magnificent. She did great. I keep rolling my eyes because I'm like, influenced her. I know.

Almost. Yes. Yeah. I keep not opening my heart to her. Me too. But then maybe we need to. Yes. I think that is also how I feel because I was like, I don't care who this.

person is and I'm not going to learn. And then I saw that dance this week. And I was like, this is so good. And it was really because her sister, Dylan Ephron's sister was like five. And so that was really cute. But then her sister was like 12. And like to give a 12 year old girl the opportunity to just like look so great on like live TV dancing with you. And then when they went to give like when they went to get interviewed and the first question for the little sister was like, how do you feel? And she was like, anytime I get to do anything with my older sister, it always feels great. And I was like, oh my God. I loved it.

It was so beautiful. It was really, really nice. I will also throw it out there, man. I felt, even though I did have a tear come to my eye, I did feel kind of bad for Jen Affleck because Jen Affleck also brought her mom on. But you're going to bring your mom on after Robert Irwin just brought his mom on. And I kind of felt bad for her mom because while I, I thought they did, I think she did a beautiful job.

I know that also, you know, I felt her definitely needling in the whole like, maybe I shouldn't say this, Jackie. Maybe I should ask Jackie. When her, she was like, and I did have that prenatal depression and the postnatal depression is like trying to be like, I also like this storyline also is heartbreaking. Like that's why I connect to my mom. And not that I'm saying that that's, I'm making fun of her for it, but I did find it interesting that I feel like she kind of had to say that. I think I feel, yeah, I, I'm, I've always been like really in admiration of Jen for talking about those things, but I hear what you're saying, which is that in the framework of this show, it's like, what is, what's, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, like, what's, like, what's your, like, narrative. And then I really liked her dance with her mom and then I felt, it was a beautiful dance. It was beautiful. And then I felt bad for her because she just got a bunch of negative feedback. And I was like, can everyone shut the fuck up right now? I thought, you know, and again, coming from someone that knows nothing. about dance because I like the dance and I was like, you're being so harsh on her. This is a harsh judgment.

And I'm saying this to no one aloud to myself while everybody's shooting. I'm watching Dancing with the Stars crying. I'm in makeup, in, like I'm supposed to be in character. But thank God I had a mask on so that no one had to see how much I was crying. You know what it is? You know what Jen I think was trying to get to when talking about her mom, but kind of couldn't get to because she, you know, because of fucking. Secret Lives and Mormon Wives is like, and she has like hinted at this on the show, but I feel like

she hasn't been able to be as explicit as she can, is that it's really fucking hard to be a Latino woman in Utah surrounded by Mormons. And I feel like that's what her, like she was like, my mom works, but she was saying it like, my mom works so hard, people didn't understand, like having a working mom. Like, so I feel like. She was a cleaner, right? She was a, specifically was like, yeah. And she had such a different, she has such a different background. around like she's, I think, one of the only secret lives and Mormon wives people who grew up with the kind of financial insecurity that she has described. And I mean, maybe I'm wrong about that, but like, obviously they all have their own traumas. But I think that, I just feel like that specifically

what Jen Affleck struggles with is like racism based on her friend group. Yes. And also, yes, the peridatal and postpartum depression is also. And also her. Her abusive husband, her definitely emotionally abusive husband. So there's a lot of top of that not being supported in her marriage. So I imagine there's a lot of that. But you can't bring that up on dedication week. Can you dedicate a song to the opposite of my husband? Right.

The idea of the divorce and the future of my husband. This is dedicated to our future divorce. That's a good idea. That I would have been into because, you know, that I, what I wasn't into as much, but I will say shout out. I will say thank you to the people. that have written in about Pentatonic Sky. And that Pentatonic Sky just as delightful and is genuinely a very nice guy.

And that makes me very happy. Yes. I will say, you know, I thought it was a little unfair that he brought on his husband. And rather than his husband getting the chance to dance, because I feel like everybody else, when they brought on someone to dedicate it to, they all got a chance to, like, do a little bit of a dance. But instead, they just stood on stage and Pentatonics Guy sang the song that he wrote for him at him.

but they did just find out that their surrogate is pregnant and I'm very, very happy for the two of them. Yes. And I'm very happy for the two of them and that was very cute. But it still wasn't enough to bring the tears during dedication weeks. Sorry. Yeah. I did find myself perhaps getting after, after, I mean, I cried at everyone. I really did.

But after Robert Irwin, I did find myself very moved by Elaine, again, sorry, what's her name? The one from Elaine Hendricks. Thank you. She brought on Lisa and Walter, who played Chessie in the Parent Trap, who apparently they've been like besties ever since. Ever since. And they love it because she's like, and like, we always have each other and we always will have each other. And I, I, oh, God, I love that kind of friendship of just someone that is always there. And like I loved there.

I loved the setup of it. I loved the dance of it. It looked like everybody was having fun. And then, yeah, we are going to talk about it. I guess I'm happy that nobody got kicked off this week because it's Dedication Week and I don't know if they always do that because again is their first time watching this. So they didn't eliminate anybody. But you know, I'm going to say I would have put on the chopping block,

Chopped Topanga. I know. I'm sorry. You're going to bring in. Okay, I'm not saying that Mr. Feeney is not like a huge part of your life. But the way that you guys were talking on the Zoom certainly made it seem like this was like almost like, a way to be like, see, boy meets world. I also struggled with this.

Even when the judge immediately was like, you know, I wasn't Bruno. I think it was his name, the wacky guy. You could make this into a musical. And it's like, okay, all right, we don't need to be making this into a musical. Okay. Yes. No, I, first of all, though, imagine how upset Hilaria is that nobody got sent home this week. Oh my God.

You know, like that, she must be so bad. Oh, my God, what would she have dedicated? Who, do you think it would have been Alec or do you think it would have been like her oldest child because they have a podcast together. Obviously, as I'm saying it, it would have been her oldest because they have a podcast and I think that this, like, of course, Mr. Feeney being on Dancing with the Stars got a lot of headlines, a lot of headlines. And yes, Boy Meets World is a beloved show and I know she has the podcast and everything.

But I, it felt to me extremely self-promotional to be like, this is dedication week. And you remember my show, Boy Meets World? I also have this podcast, Pod Meets World. and also Mr. Fee, we all love Mr. Feet. It's just like, you know, she talks about there's like a, the last, there's like the last episode of Boy Meets World, there's like a moment where she thanks Mr. Fieny for, you know, and it's very emotional and she said we filmed it once and everything. I was.

And it's a beautiful moment. Very beautiful. Like it, and I love that. It's very nice that Mr. Fini has been Mr. Fienie to Tupanga for their whole lives. That's very nice. But it did feel so self-promotiony and no one else seemed to think that because because everybody's just blinded by nostalgia for Boy Meets World, which I need to say is a great show,

but not a perfect show. They propped his corpse up on the stage. He's 98. And they were like, feney for us. You've got a feney at us right now. Yes. She looked like he didn't even know where he was. And he kept cutting back to him.

And I was like, stop cutting back to him. He's not, he's not paying attention. We're going to watch him die on camera. I know. I really feel like the phrase that came into my head was too old to be public and is that ageist? Absolutely. But he is too old. He's 90.

Get out of here. Like what we want to do with the middle schoolers to put them into some sort of survival woods situation. Same with getting, you know, it's like the movie North, you know, when they like send them out, when they send them out on the ice float, you know? And I'm not even saying that you shouldn't

be old in public always. I'm saying that if, like, you should not be, you should not have drag your ass to film at Dancing with the Stars when you're 98 and you're like, I think that he was like all there, but it was very hard to tell. I don't know. He looked really, it was not a relaxing experience to watch him on camera. I think everyone felt consumed with her. Yes. Yes. Like, is he okay? Is he enjoying himself? Ninety eight years old? Because this is the thing, we're not talking about someone like we're, I feel like 98 that is.

cut off. I think, I'm just saying, 92 and up. I'm throwing it out there. 92 and up, maybe not on the stage for dancing with the stars. What if he gets a hit with something? I just feel like Eddie there was just like, protect him. Protect his respiratory system from all the germs in there. Yeah, I, I, I don't know, he's going to inhale something. And if he wants to keep working, but I'm also just like, let people not work. Let him not be Mr. Feeney. Maybe he's happy. Maybe it's a thrill. Maybe it's fun. I hope. I hope it was fun for him. I hope so that's, and that's what I hope.

I hope more than anything, it was fun for him. The dedication itself was cringe. And also the, and not only that, but dancing to the extended cut of the Boy Meets World theme song. They dance to the Boy Meets World theme song. I know that everyone calls you to Panga and that must be very frustrating. We spend a lot of time learning about child stars and the struggle of being a child star here at page seven. I'm truly open and empathetic to like how this role has defined your life. but why now on Dancing with the Stars when you have the opportunity to be like, I'm not Topanga,

I'm Danielle Fischel. Are you like, Topanga? I am Topanga. And I think it's so that you can promote your podcast. And your podcast boys are in there, the audience with you every week. And is that nice? Yes, it is nice. And was it nice that the parents were there?

That was also nice. But I was just like, what is hat? I don't know. I was like trying to imagine the same thing happening with like a different show from the 90s. And I'm sure it has over the course of 34 seasons. was like the boy meets world worship happening on stage right now. I really want to poke a hole in it. Weird.

And also, I know nothing about the fox trot, but I thought the dance, especially like, you're going to compare that dance to like what Alex Earl did or what Whitney did or what Robert Irwin. Like you're going to compare that. And like, I think she should have been chopped. Dedication week or not. Yeah. Put her on the block.

I think that there's a lot of hopping happening. I feel like she's not getting vulnerable enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know these things. Look at me. I'm turning into Bruno. Yeah, you're like that guy who's the brother of that girl. Yeah.

The other one. Or the mean woman. Now I'm starting to get the judges. The mean Australian woman? Oh, man, what about that hot, the hot guest judge this week? Her award. Because she was mean too. Wow.

She was mean the other. But you mean the other woman. The other main one. Yeah. Bursting everyone's bubble. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

And I love it when, man, I imagine the booze continue, but I kind of love her getting booed for giving. And she's like, I'm trying to make them better dancers. Yes. I need to give them tips. I mean, she told Topanga that every dance looks the same, which is harsh. It is. I mean, but also not only harsh at Topanga, but that's harsh of that choreographer. That poor, that poor dude.

I mean, I felt bad for him. That's like, that's cutting. Yeah. No, it is. I, all I know is next week, we better see. That bitch better show that. She knows she has to show the fuck up. And Jen Affleck knows she has to show the fuck up because, but I do say, I don't think

that they deserve the same score. They both got the same score. 29 for each of them. And I don't think that was fair. I would give Jenne F. Like a much higher score. Yeah. I would too.

And Whitney's was a beautiful dance. We're not even gushing about Whitney's dance this week. But I think it's because I'm going to say it because of the show. I'm kind of annoyed by her husband. Oh, yeah. No, I couldn't. I couldn't. I don't want, this is the thing about Whitney.

She is a bad person. And I, she's a fantastic dancer. And so what I had to like, fantastic dancer. Learn about her husband this week. I was just like, didn't go. Your husband had a porn addiction. And now this is your, this is the narrative you're going with.

My husband had a porn addiction and we almost got divorced and now we didn't. And now everything's fixed and great. I'd love to hear about the work that they're doing. Oh, was the work having another child? apparently that is the way to fix it. And wasn't it? I've heard tale. Yeah.

No, I also. Yeah, this is me judging somebody that I don't know the reality of the situation. Yes, I am judging on the reality television aspect of it all. Yes. But that's what we're here for. But, dude, Hilaria is now trying to be like in on the joke. I know we can't talk about her every week. It is so.

I know, but like, it is so. Did you talk about cringe? Oh my God. You see that video she made where she was like teasing her. yourself about the super cut. Like the super cut happened making fun of her and how annoying she was. And then she did. I'm 41.

But I'm 41. But then she made a video like being like quoting herself like with another with an influencer. And he's quoting he's pretending to be her and he's quoting her. And then she's pretending to be the therapist. And she's like, is it that deep? Girl, you just did this. And it was like a week ago. It wasn't like when you were a child or something.

A long time ago. It was days ago. Oh, she's so. Ooh. Oh, she's, oh, man. Oh, I'm, she is. Oh, she's a psycho. I know we got to end this episode, but I do want just, I know, love Dancing the Stars.

It was a great week. I don't know how I feel about Wicked Week next week, but we will. Well, you like, and you know I love Wicked. I still feel this way. So let's see how it goes. I try to open my heart to wicked because I was never a wicked head, but I want to feel all the excitement for the new wicked and everything. Yes.

And it does, even though a lot of people say the back half is not as good as the front half, it has some of the best songs. So just fucking watch it or don't, okay? Who can say, I've been changed for the better. Because I knew peacemaker. I have been changed for good. Oh, my God. I need to at least.

just say that Peacemaker has wrapped up and I am so, I'm upset that the show is over. I'd like to continue living in the world. I want more of it. And that's really all I have to say. It's a great show. And I'm excited for, I'm assuming it's going to get picked up for another season. Yeah, I'm hoping so too. I have not caught the last episode yet, but I'm still reeling from the reveal. You got to watch it before it gets spoiled for you. Okay. All right.

Because yeah, I know it's a big, it's a big, it's a, it's another big reveal. But yeah, I am, I am reeling from the reveal of peacemaker learning. Yes. Yes. The flaw with his alternate dimension. Yes. I, that was what a fantastic episode of television. Just what.

And the last episode is great too. It made me so sad that there are not more episodes. But don't worry, the chair company has begun. And I'm very excited to. about the chair company, but that's because I'm obsessed with Tim Robinson, and it is Tim Robinson's new show, the chair company.

Fun. And it is another, if you like Tim Robinson, I do. You're going to like this. Great. It is, only the first episode has dropped. I don't know what they're going to do with it, but I'll watch him do actually almost anything. And I have been, my brain has been a little weird

and bad, so I've been watching over the garden wall again. And I feel like over the garden wall is a perfect spooky, not scary, beautiful story that I forget that it is a fun. Like, I feel like, not, I can't even say this, but I am going to say it. I feel like in the world of being a goth girl around this time, there are the nightmare before Christmases, and then there are the over the garden walls. And I know that's a huge Venn diagram, and I'm not saying that the two do not overlap.

but I do feel that like there are the ones that are obsessed with Nightmare Before Christmas and then there are the ones that are obsessed with Over the Garden Wall and Over the Garden Wall is just such a cozy, wonderful, but at times scary. So it's not for the kids. Okay. Well, I mean, I would say not your kids, MJ. Maybe some kids. Okay.

Maybe some kids for sure because it is like a, like, and has some of the, I think I need to get like a tat up from it. some of the cute some of the cutest. It's so cute. They're just, oh my God, I just want to scoop them up and I just want to kiss them. I want to kiss them. But it's all so spooky. Okay.

All right. Maybe I'll pre-watch it and see maybe if the kids might like it. Also shout out to if anybody likes stupid crime movies that feel like made for TV movies. But, you know, today's version, I have started watching murder, death in the family with Patricia Arquette and Brittany. to Arquette and Brittany Snow. It's too soon to tell. I'm only like halfway through the first episode, but I love that shit.

It felt exactly, exactly like a lifetime movie to me in the best way possible. And maybe people will be like, it's critically acclaimed. But like, I don't know if it's critically acclaimed. I don't know if it's good. I just know that if you like a, you know, stupid movie based on the true crime thing

with a great cast, then you will like it because I like it. Hell yeah. But again, I don't know where it goes. I mean, I do know where it goes. I think we all know where it goes, yeah. I know the story, but yes. But maybe it'll get jazzy with it.

I did just want to throw that. Sorry, the one last thing about Dancing with the Stars. Do you think that Dylan and Daniela have sex with each other? I know that a lot of people in the world of Dancing with the Stars that a lot of the professionals have banged the celebrities, but I think they might be banging. And I just love for Dancing with the Star-Eats out. there to respond. I'd love for you to let us know if you feel that way as well. Yeah. Yeah. Sound off

in the comments. I'm trying to look between and maybe I know I'm not the only one looking for this. I look at like when they're like talking to each other. I'm like, okay, which ones are fucking? Which ones are fucking? I'm trying to see. And I feel like they are. And like I think she really loved how much he loved his younger sister. I think there was a lot like there was a lot of flirt. I'm going to be real with you. I before last week I could care so. little about Dylan Ephron that I never paid attention. So I will pay attention now. Come on ride the Fon train. We'll ride it. Fuck, fuck. Yes. We're going to ride the Fron train. Yeah, he's a little slimy. Yeah, he's a little greasy. But so is that vampire book. And we love to

touch that too. But thank you so much for being here with us on our second helpings episode of page seven today. And thank you for sticking around if you're still here to our Dancing with the Stars conversation because I really was trying to force everyone to listen to me talk about dancing with the Stars yesterday. And I watched as every member of LPN as they would just go, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, and they'd walk away from me. And I'm okay with that. Yeah, no, I'm fine with being this person now. It's not for everyone. And we will try to keep it to the end for those of you who don't care, you're already gone. I don't know why I'm talking to you. But Patreon, people who have been commenting about how much you're enjoying the journey with us,

we appreciate you guys. I hope that it's bringing a little bit of light into your life. I look forward to it every week. I'm all, but then say that to my ADHD brain that I'm already starting to be scared and nervous for when the show is over. And I don't have it anymore. Yes. So that is the mentally ill brain for you. You know, they just, oh, baby, always try. It's like the second I like something, I'm like, but it will end someday. Yes, it will. And that's okay. Other things can replace it. Thank you guys so much for hanging out with us. And as always, come hang out over on our Patreon. We have been having a blast over there. And we are in some dicey territory in the world of Buffy. So come hang out with us and feel.

And come feel with us. There's so many feelings. And the big feelings episode, just so you guys know is next Tuesday. So that drop, just prepare yourselves, and it is very heavy, and it's not where the heaviness of the season ends. So just prepare yourself, and we're in it together. Just remember that we have a wonderful community, and you can find all that information at patreon.com

slash page seven podcast. And you can also see our celebrity is there. We're finishing Alison Stoner's book. We're going to be reading a virus. Oh, man, talk about another. That's another one that'll be a trigger warning. Trigger warnings about. But we are, despite that, we are having a good time with celebrities.

So yes, join our Patreon. Join us over there. Email us, page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Jackie, I love you. Listeners, we love you. And we'll see you guys next week for page 7. You damn right? Let's sing the song.

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