Page 7 - Second Helpings - The Curse of Living This Long

Episode Date: May 30, 2025

Gather 'round the dinner table, it's time to slop-up some SECOND HELPINGS, including MJ's watchin' "Full House" with their TWO YUTES and how "A Very Special Episode" led to them realizing the hand they've played in creating today's WOKE BULLSHIT generation, a parallel experience of finishin' "Andor" S2 and divin' STRAIGHT in C H R O N O L O G I C A L O R D E R to "Rogue One: A Star Wars Story" as they each launch into their "Star Wars" JOURNEY, Jackie's watched the first episode of "90 Day: Hunt for Love" (ANOTHER "90 Day" spinoff, but this time it's a DATING REALITY COMPETITION!), MJ can now humbly give AN ANSWER on if they can still enjoy "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" or are these women just suffering too much?, Jackie and Geoff discovered a youtuber that's her version of ASMR during a late-nite can'tsleepYoutubedive (audio included in episode around 22min; Snakealive - Grand Illusions), MJ's givin' their kids a 90's Summer, but NOT THAT KIND, "Everybody's Live with John Mulaney" has ended and Jackie must scream but she won't be screamin' any spoilers for "The Rehearsal" other than she says 'the ending is GENUIS', MJ is just watchin' the TikTok of Alexander Skarsgård and Pedro Pascal kissin', Dakota Fanning has a new movie about her goin' after TWO old men, the "Jurassic World Rebirth" popcorn bucket is.....something, MJ's gettin' hawt for sad boi Barry profile, Sydney Sweeney selling bath water soap with Dr. Squatch, Amy Poehler had the OG I C K from Tom Cruise because he did a bunch of flips in a movie and NOT because he's part of a bullshit cult that's slowly dying, Michelle Williams recently talked about how horrible it was living with Ryan Gosling during the shooting for "Blue Valentine", Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos are letting us all know they fuck....a lot.....again, Jackie is askin' MJ to watch "Hereditary" and asks WE ALL try to absorb the new "Pee-wee" doc before NEXT WEEK PLS, Hugh Jackman's divorce has finalized and here's hoping she takes him for it all, Dick Van Dyke just wants that sweet sweet release, AND SO MUCH MORE TO SLURP UP THIS WEEK!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You're damn right. Hungry, hungry, biggies. Come on together. We got some food for you. It's a song. I guess it was an addendum to the song that I just needed a little bit extra this morning. MJ, don't judge me.

I just needed a little bit of extra singing, okay? Sometimes you need a little bit of extra. Can I start the show with an anecdote about a different TGIF show that I watch with my children? Please. Yeah, the floor is yours. Well, we 90s kids, we remember our very special episodes, right?

Oh, do we? I don't think they make very special episodes anymore for kids programming. What? I mean, I haven't seen like a today on Strawberry Shortcake, someone's getting abused, you know, the way that we grew up. But that's where I want to learn about it. I say slap the smell out of her. Well, we had gone off full house for quite a while, but we're back and it's great. I really enjoy watching 90s shows in general and 90s movies.

I have enjoyed all the 90s movies I've watched with. the kid. So we're back on Full House. Okay. And there is a very special episode of Full House that is about child abuse. Okay. Wait, which kid was getting, which, which, which friend of Michelle's? Stephanie's friend. Oh, Stephanie's friend. His name is Charles and he's mean to everyone at school. And the lesson is, you know, there's two lessons. One is that hurt people, hurt people. But the more, the big lesson of the show is that Stephanie learns to be like, I guess, grateful for the fact that her own parents don't beat her. And she should.

That is what she should learn. And she should be scared because we've all got paddles attached to the end of our arms for a reason. I was really agonizing about like what, like talking to the kids about this. I was like, it's not really something you need to be grateful for because like it is a basic expectation of life that you shouldn't get beaten by your parents. But so we're watching and I'm like, we were threatened all the time as children. I mean, yeah, again, in the 90s, I mean, my parents never, but like, I grew up around that as society. Totally.

And it was just so normal. Like, it was just so normal. Like to. And I remember that very special episode as a kid. And, um, and it, you know, it really stuck with me. And I saw it and I was like, is this going to be too heavy? You know, sometimes 90s stuff like, they really don't sugarcoat things the way they do now. So it's like, should we watch this?

But so we watched it. And again, the main moral of the story is like, Sometimes you might be mad at your parents because they ground you or they tell you to go to bed early. But like ultimately your parents, if they are like the Tanner family, they love you and you can be thankful that they're not beating you like Charles's family. Thank you. You're lucky stars that they don't give in to the feeling that they have every second they look at you, which is, oh, baby, they just want to get rid of you and make another one that looks just like you, but maybe pays attention more. And my children's takeaway from this episode was that they think that Danny is as bad a parent as the parent who beats the child because he also gave a punishment. The punishment was having to go to bed early for a week.

Your children likened the two said he's just as bad. They were like they're both bad dads. Like everyone here is a bad dad. Dads. And I was like, wow, you really got the opposite takeaway. I think in the 90s, the point was to be like, so there you go, children, as long as your parents, I mean, they are loving. They are like, they're great parents in full house. I'll admit it. They're great. They're doing a great job. But, yeah, my children decided that any discipline whatsoever abuse. I completely understand. So that's today's generation for you. Yeah, I feel the same way in my relationship. Honestly, it's no different than my marriage. It was like, you never abuse. Abuse. Abuse. It's like, I think you shouldn't. Do you have to flip those meatballs?

Abuse! Leave me alone! I am scared of what you will do to me. And it's kind of nice, though, that you're raising your children so nicely that they think that all punishments are evil. And honestly, I feel like you are raising a couple of Andors. And I think that that is probably very positive for you in your life experience. Definitely what I imagine you and your partner would love to create are more Andors. Yes, we are raising two Cassie and Andors.

They won't tolerate injustice. They'll fight for it. They'll fight against it. They'll whatever. They'll fight against the bed times. And you are bringing up Cassie and Andor because you and I had a little parallel experience this week of. Oh, my God, we did. Finishing Andor season two and going straight chronologically in order into Rogue one.

Into Rogue one. We both did this. This is, you know, you know, I don't give a fuck about a Star War, but here's the thing. Okay, all right, fine. Now that I have watched all of this backstory, Jeff was like, aren't you a little bit more intrigued by the big movies? Wouldn't you kind of want to watch them again? And maybe because I didn't watch all of them.

Here's the thing, MJ, I thought I watched all three of them. I did it. I only watched the first one. You've only seen a new hope you've never seen for the Jedi or Empire Strikes Back? I haven't seen the other two. And Jeff was like, you didn't finish it. I watched all three. He's like, you 100% did not.

To be fair, this was during like the top of quarantine, so I don't, it was a dicey situation. It's funny that you say all three because you know, Jackie, there are many, there's at least six more, depending on how you want to count. MJ, coming from my husband who has always said when given the question, are you a Star Wars or a Star Trek, he always says Dune. And he's always said, I, he's like, I never think of myself as a Star Wars person. but then the way he talked and he went through so on the Disney channel they're in the Disney streaming app they have all of it all of the every it in order so you can see how it goes yeah and Jeff went through and was like okay so then this happens and like this is why all of this and explained the entire world to me and then I looked in and was like and you don't like Star Wars he's like here's the thing he's like 40% of it is garbage, garbage. Right. And garbage that I will watch.

It's just there's so much of it that's so good. Right. That you can't say that Star Wars is bad. He's like, you just can't. No. No. And I never said Star Wars bad. I always have said Star Wars, which is maybe a little boring for me.

Right. But this Andor stuff is very good. You know what I think it is? and I realize this because of from going from Andor season two right into Rogue 1, and I loved Andor Season 1. I really love it. I actually think I want to rewatch Ander Season 1, and I really enjoyed Andor's season 2. And now going straight into Rogue 1.

And I love it because, I mean, for me, the more the science fiction connects to the political stuff. I know that that is literally the science fiction side of it. Yes. But I love science fiction is a tool with which to create political allegories. And for some reason, it just doesn't do it for me sometimes. But then when I understand, like, oh, I understand the empire is the fascist state and the hot Diego Luna is the hot, you know, rebel, and now I care. But also, in addition to caring about the story, I actually think that the story of the building of a rebellion is much more interesting than the space fighting itself. But then also, I just, I have a problem where the space fighting, I zone out.

It doesn't, I don't feel, it's the same with car chases. I don't feel excited whilst watching a car chase. I don't feel excited whilst watching a space fight. And I don't feel excited whilst watching a sword fight. I enjoy Fast and the Furious, but I'm not, my brain just, again, Homer Simpson, monkey riding a bike, just like, I'm just like, I just zone out. And even though Rogue One is really, really good, there's so much space fighting. Yes.

And I realized only upon starting Rogue One, I was like, there's no fighting in indoor. I mean, there's conflict, but there's no lightsaber. and there's like no space balance. It was very funny. And I think that's why I liked it. Yes. And that is why people like Star Wars is for those two things. But I like it for the plot.

The plot. The plot. Not like the other Star Wars toys. I'm also 20% I'm going to say, you know, I'm say 35% there for the fits. See, I love space fashion. The fits are good. I love how I am so there for the fits and I'm just like, damn, bitch, billow. Okay.

Billow, bitch, billow. Bellow. I said billow, bitch, billow, I think a thousand times. Yeah. So I will say there were like a couple of mic drops. I feel like in Rogue One that Jeff had to kind of explain to me that I'm like, I feel like this robotic man turning around is something that people, I was like, what is that? And he's like, okay, he's like, let me. And there's layers of meaning and layers of understanding that not everybody has to experience every layer, right? Right. And also what I like and what you were just talking about of the show versus the movie and what I appreciate is that Jeff prepped me. He's like, I need you know, of course, I don't know the names of the directors, everything, and he knew all that. But he was talking about the director and what they did, like, the way they made the show was way more like a spy show than it was a, like, than an action. He's like, I feel like, it's the director. Okay, yes, that makes so much sense. Yes. It's more like a heist. It's a heist. Exactly. And that it's like that more, it's like the action movie. Yeah, the movie is a heist.

That is all action. Right. But it was so, but even then, of course, oh my God, Jeff just loved how many jokes I made about how like, oh, weren't they older before? Wait a second. And man, he couldn't get enough of them. I know. Everybody just looks like asking me for more.

Hotter. They're aging in reverse. They're aging. Honestly, no, Diego Luna, I think didn't. I think he got less hot. Yeah, yeah. Too smooth. Too smooth.

And also, like, then we all know about Bix and then why. watching everything in the movie. I was like, it's not Bix. So now I feel like I watched Rogue One in a different brain space than other people saw Rogue One when it first came out. But I will say that everybody says like, oh, this is one of the new Star Wars that is very good. And they are correct. Yes. I really, like, I really truly enjoy it. But yes, if you're a Star Wars listener, you might be agonizing hearing us talk about it since neither of us are. Tatooine. That's a word. true connoisseurs of the text, but Gideon is enjoying me. Isn't it nice that we're opening ourselves to it?

Exactly. And Gideon does enjoy it when I open my heart to it and realize that it is me, like I love a story of a rebellion against fascism. So why wouldn't I like Star Wars? And I just turns out, I don't care about the sword fighting and the space fighting. But, but that said, Jackie, you should probably now, from Rogue One, you should go to a new hope, two episodes four, five, and six. I said I would rewatch it. And then I will say I also enjoyed the later ones, you know, with Oscar Isaac and John Boyega. I've heard all about them.

I've heard at least the way they all, because I was like, pitch it to me. Yeah. And Jeff really, it's a cisophysicistening and task for him to really get me. To capture your attention. Yeah. Yes. To keep my attention. Yeah. No, I really space out. I really space out. I know. It is so I'm like, why can I remember everything about these Mormon bitches? But I, but, you know, I watched 20 minutes of, of Andor season two and Gideon's like, tell me what just happened. And I'm like, I don't, don't ask me to explain what just happened. Don't ask me. I saw it. And that's all you get. Yep. It washed over me. And a man, something else I watched, watched yesterday, certainly washed over me. Here's the thing. You know.

We say, oh, I only have so much space. I only so much attention I can give. And yet, I can watch the full hour and a half of the first episode of 90-day hunt for love, which is 90-day fiancé, the world of 90-day fiancé, is dipping its toe. It's dirty. Oh, it is a viscous, disgusting little toe that is begging for a wipe. and it's dipping its tone into the world of dating reality competition.

So what they are doing and I didn't know anything about the conceit of the show like the concept. I was like, all right, I know it has something to do with 90 day fiance. Wow me with it.

Which is an engagement show if I'm going correctly by the title of the show. So tell me how this works. It is a dating reality show but it is not a competitive dating reality show. So with this,

trying to do more of like a love island. They're trying to do more of like what the other stream. Oh, we're not like the other streamers, but what if we could be just like the other streamers? So I thought it was going to be. I was like, oh, it's going to be all 90 day people, right? But what it is is they took some 90 day people, the 90 day people that I don't want to say failed, but that did publicly fail at the game of love when it comes to being public about it.

and some of them are brought to Tulum to go on this singles retreat, but then the other half of them are normal people that had absolutely no idea who any of those people were, why they all knew each other. There was this one drunk guy that just kept being like, I feel like everybody here knows each other, but I don't know why. And I'm like, why? I was like, okay, they didn't explain to ever.

any of them that there was going to be 90 day fiance people there. They don't know that they are 90 day fiance people. But then they don't spend any time showing the normal people because of course, all it is is that 90 day fiance people either trying to fuck each other or talking mad shit at each other. And I watched the whole thing. Really? And it was so bad.

It sounds like a terror. It sounds really like, it sounds like an insult to our intelligence, to be honest. I actually did say to the person that I was watching it with that I might find it even more cringe than Melf Manor. Wow. It is so uncomfortable because, like, they don't know what they're doing. And I don't know why they're sticking with the hour and a half long, like 90-day fiancé, there is not enough footage for it. I can't. I don't know how many episodes there are going to be.

I know. I can't, like, like, the hour and a half, this is why I couldn't get with Love Island. Like I was like, you're telling me that every episode is two hours long and there's 20 episodes a season or more. Oh, Love Island is 60 something, babe. Oh, no. Love Island is way more. I don't have room. I don't have room.

I don't have room. I don't have room in my life. And yeah, I mean, I know you and Holden love your 90 day. I know it's a big party. And that's a universe. That's a universe of reality that you guys love and I support that. But I do sometimes, I just keep thinking. It's toxic and it's bad.

Oh, oh, I know it's something. I mean, listen, I'm not. I'm not coming with judgment. You're allowed to judge. Since we last spoke is the Mormon wives and Polly family. But I and the Star War. But I just keep thinking about that Netflix executive being like, we're trying to make programming that people don't have to pay attention to.

And I know that is it. 90 days at Netflix. But I just keep thinking about the gradual devolution of the programming we're being fed and that they just want us to keep looking at our, they want us to be able to turn on the TV without stopping looking at our phones. Yes. And that makes my heart just sink a little bit every time I think about it. Why, MJ, I can put things into shopping carts on all of my many tabs that I have open and I

cannot purchase them. That is what watching these shows is for. It's why we do it. I know. I know. Well, I mean, I know last week I opened up the question. I feel like you're judging me. I feel like you're still judging me.

I feel like you're saying you're not judging me, but I feel like you're judging me. I'm judging myself because last week I opened up the question. and can I still enjoy Secret Lives of Mormon Wives or are these women suffering too much? And I think that I come back humbly today to say the answer is both. Like, yes, I am saying, how dare you give up on us? I'm still enjoying the show. I'm on episode eight. And I love the rise of Demi as a villain.

I think it's very fun. But am I deeply worried about Jen Affleck, yes. And do I think that perhaps certain things just... What are you worried about? I don't know Are you worried about the fact that? Or antinatal depression Or whatever you call it

When you have extreme depression While you're pregnant Yeah but they don't shoot her as much On the show So I feel like MJ What are you upset about? There was a whole title card That was like out of respect for Jen

We're gonna let her step back from this season And I was like thank God Thank God I can just watch The non-depressed bitches being bitchy to each other Please let her be She is going through so much She's trying to get out of this shitty marriage She's been pregnant

please let her leave her alone. And then her shitty husband now just steps in to be the voice for both of them. That's not a solution. She's depressed because of who she's married to and now she's out but he's in? What are we doing? We both married a man so that they can speak for us. I think it's good. Bring him in.

Let him say how she's feeling about the baby. I think it's bad. I'm not the bad guy. She's the bad guy. It is so, oh, God, but like the beauty, MJ, of watching her husband now publicly blaming her for taking out the IUD and never and trapping him with another child, a child that will know some debt. This is a man who we all watched be unambiguously abusive over and over in season one. honestly, if we were approaching this ethically, and I know we aren't, and oh, I'm sorry to be a wet blanket, everyone. Oh, MJ, always talk about ethics in reality, but I just feel like they should not have.

Let it all burn. I just, the athletics probably should not have been invited back, not to punish Jen, but to give her the space to get out of that abusive marriage. Because how are you going to get out of a marriage when you feel like you might make hundreds of whatever, I don't know how much money they make, many thousands of dollars, on being part of season two. But now Zach can make the money. Don't worry. Now Zach can make the money. Now Zach can make the money.

And it's all the brand deals. They're going to get more brand. Like I don't actually know how much they get paid from Hulu. And then most of the money they make is also from brand deals separately. But I just feel like the show is complicit with this relationship, with this abusive relationship. And he's trying so hard to make himself the good guy. And that him making himself the good.

good guy consists of him literally being like, the woman who you all saw me abuse over and over on season one is she's the liar. She's crazy. You can't trust her. And everyone's like, oh, good. I'm glad we're hearing from you. I guess you're right. And it's like, you guys, this is what abusers do. Is it possible he's changed? Sure. Do we have any reason to think he's changed? No. No. He's just calling his wife a crazy liar. That's what abusers do. Yeah. Yeah. And all the other women are like, You're right. She is a liar. Thanks, Zach.

Thanks for being on our side. You know, MJ, when you say this stuff back to me, it does sound very bad. And because my problem is that I just sit there and go like, as I'm watching it, that it just, it doesn't even phase me. It doesn't anymore. I think that it just, I don't know if I am just broken like a promise. Like Tay has always said that I was going to become. Like I don't know.

know if that's just me now, or maybe it's just the place I'm temporarily, and I don't know. Yeah. But I am just sitting there with a glazed look in my eyes. Honestly, very similar to most of the looks on the eyes from all the women of 90-day fiancé hunt for love, because I think, man, you ain't never seen pills pillin so hard as to see the shark eyes of most of the women that are trying to find love and to loom. But no, you do see those shark. guys over in secret lives of Mormon wives. You see the short guys.

Yeah. I mean, you know, again, it's an inch, what makes it such an interesting show is that half of them are sober and, and, you know, saints and the other half of sinners. Yeah. Yeah, I did throw this to our theme gals chat that I was like, all right, guys, I'm separating us into saints and sinas. And I did want to have a party where we all, I was like, I think that we should do this and then fight with each other. Yeah. It's like, what if we, you know, rather than having April Reels Day, let's have the opposite. you know, like have a real housewives where it's like, and then everybody bring in the worst

text you've ever written about anybody in the group? Like, I don't want to do it. I know. I know. I was thinking about that while I was watching Secret Lives and Mormon Wives. I was like, what if every time I got together with my friends, I expected us to scream at each other and insult each other's husbands and you know. I don't think we're doing it enough. This is like my brain. So it's like watching all of them. My brain. So it's like watching all and or I feel like I was doing in it was like I'm watching things that are more

difficult to watch and I'm engaging with a deep text with symbolism and meaning I'm healing I'm healing a little bit more using my brain this is coming from the same person that last night Jeff and I spent too much time because I couldn't shut my brain off

and Jeff introduced me to this YouTube channel that made me think of you MJ. And I wanted to share... I thought about you. And baby, hold on to your ass because shit's about to get even hornier than Bridgeton. Adam, I was wondering if you could just play that clip that I've got of old Tim from Grand Illusions. They lend themselves a practical joke saying, so there's two here, which I've had for many years. This is probably the oldest.

This is an old man. who just goes back a recent. It's about the 1890s, I guess. Who gives little reviews. So this is a nice of old toys. Old toys? Of course, it was a secret compartment. Because when you open the thing,

respecting nuts, what you get is, oh, my goodness me. Oh, my goodness me, yes, one of those. My goodness me. I suspect back in Victorian times to make it look a bit more snake-eye, but a spring. Pretty old idea.

Great thumb. So here's the thing. He was just giving a review. view of a snake in a can, right? That's all he was just doing. And this old fuck takes the, he knows so much about vintage toys. And it just goes through the different toys. And this one is this.

See, this is why YouTube is good. I kind of hope that YouTube won't exist by the time my children are 10 because it's so, it has captivated the youth so fully. but this is why YouTube is good. Watch 11 minutes. This one episode is called Snakes Alive. It's called Snakes Alive, says Tim. And as because he's going through all these vintage toys

that have snakes as a part of them. And some of them, oh, they'll look at that snake on the kind of liver there. And look at it going up and down. There's a snake does. And I watched him talk about toys for an hour and a half last night. And yeah, maybe that means I smoke too much weed. But I lost myself. And this is the opposite.

I know that I don't really get into the world of ASMR. But to me, this is as close to that. It's the opposite of what I get from rural housewives of Salt Lake City. So it's not that. That's all. No, no, no, no. Right. He could be saying anything.

Yes. And I'll just listen to it. And it's like, tell me about the, I, between. this and also there's another man I think it's on Epicurious that also does reviews of different food

items but not food themselves like cooking utensils and different things that have to do and how what he would do to make them a little bit better and I watch it for like it's all I can handle right now. Yeah. Snakes a lot

little brown illusions coming out with little video about toys. I could imagine becoming consumed by that. I wanted to get my kids of vintage little people set for Christmas. You know, the little people toys that we had when we were kids. Like they weble and they wobble, but they don't fall down. They don't weble and they wobble. They're choking hazards.

I think that was why they were discontinued. They're like exactly the shape of a child's esophagus. Polly pocket? No. They're like they had little balls for heads and little cylinders for bodies. But they came with like a parking. garage. They came with like, or they didn't, you could get little sets and there was like a park and

garage set and a school set and a town set. And to me, it's like the ideal toy. Like I remember my preschool had one. I remember we had like the parking garage at home and it was like the perfect toy. And then when I had my kids, I was like, why don't they make them like this anymore? Because they still make little people, but they made them less choking hazard shaped now. Boo. Boring.

And so for Christmas, I spent some time looking on eBay, which I never do. And there is, this is a whole world. There is a whole world of people who collect vintage little people sets. And I could just, you know how sometimes you look at someone's hobby and you're like, I could imagine a different timeline, a different life. If I had just, if everything had gone differently, I would become a vintage little people play set collector. I remember these ones now.

I remember these ones. You're right. You can try to swallow them, but man, they really won't go down. And I hate that about them because I'm always looking for something to choke down. Yeah. And my kids didn't care. about it, of course. They were like, what is this?

Thank you. What is this trash? Get this out of here. We hate this. More Danny Tanner. And I know that's how your children talk to you, obviously. No, these little people look very, I remember these specifically because they were more fun to throw.

Yeah. See, this was the kind of shit that, man, you could really beam your sibling in the side of the head with a good, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, they were weapons.

They were, you know, again, it's fine. Now I'm really, I sound like I'm one of these people. It's this big trend on Instagram now to say that you're giving your kid a 90s childhood or right now a 90s summer. You've probably, if you're in the parenting realm on Instagram, you've seen like, let's give our kids a 90s summer. And now I feel like they're terrified of being kidnapped. Is that what it is?

I feel like I'm afraid I'm doing that. I sound like I'm doing that now between showing them full house and ordering them vintage little people sets. I swear I'm not doing the give them a 90s summer thing. I mean, the idea is nice. It's like, lock your kids out of the house and don't let them until dinner time. But then again, is that good? Like, yes, that is what we grew up with.

But do we like it? I like the instinct, but perhaps we should adjust, you know? I hear crazy tales from the people that were raised like that. My husband grew up in a home like that where he was just like just out. And I was like, what did you do all day? Because we were not. We were very much indoor kids. So I was like, what did you do?

And he's like, man, he's like, there was this really big. pile of rocks that I felt like it was mine. And he's like, so I would climb up them. And then he's like, I found a, I found a piece of wood. And I, and I nailed a bunch of nails into it so that the nails were sticking out. And then I would stand on the top of the rocks and I would protect it. And I was like, that's what you did? He's like, yeah, I would do it for hours.

I was like, this is why children shouldn't be allowed outside. I think it's the opposite. I say, keep them all indoors. And this may be one of the reasons why we're. We don't have children right now. It's because Jeff's like, yeah, let him go figure it out. The imagination is the season. And I'm like, I don't think, I think they're all, I was taught how to go dead weight when you will get kidnapped.

I think that all children should be terrified at all times. Always scared that I was going to be attacked in some fashion. I have had pepper spray or mace on my person. I think since I'm 12 years old. There was a lot of fear mongering in the Zabrowski household. You're also terrified of water parks. Oh, certainly. You're terrified of ballpits.

No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, no. Terrified of the unsupervised outdoors. Yeah. Terrified leaving the house, you know, things like that. The knowledge you get from reading a book. These are the ways in which we're kept safe. I think it's good to live.

Like, find your box, crawl in there and stay in it. Yeah. That's what we're teaching here on. page seven and we're not going to only be talking I go I need to and I'm sorry MJ this is a show that you have not started watching but I have to scream because it is finally it just ended everybody's live with John Mullaney I am so sad that it is over I'm so upset last night was the last episode and the entire season he was threatening to fight three four four 14-year-old boys.

And throughout the episodes, he introduced the boy. Like, it's like, Richard Kind was very against this the entire time. He trains for it because it, like, it's about the discourse of, like, who would win. Like, the discourse online went from who would win, like, a hundred men or a gorilla? It was like, you know, like that, that general discourse. Yeah, would you rather be trapped with a man or a bear or that thing? Yeah, in a room and that kind of thing. And then it came down to, could a grown man,

beat a 16 year old. And then John Mullaney thought it would be funny, or three, 14 year olds. And it was like Richard Guy, this is very, he's like, that minus you can't. This is like you can't do it. But I mean, obviously they did everything they could.

And between everybody's live with John Malaney and the rehearsal, which also just ended, and that last episode, I think actually might be genius. And I wish I could say what happens. in the season of the rehearsal, but I do not want to ruin it

for anyone that is going to watch it because I think it's only like six episodes. Nathan Fielder, you know, think what you want to think about him. John Mullaney, think what you want to think about him. They are real life. And as someone that has always been like a little, a comedy nerd over here,

but watching comedy being able to experiment on this wide of a public, stage is so. I cannot believe that Nathan Fielder got the money to do this second season of the rehearsal and anyone that watched the whole season knows exactly what I mean and I can't believe HBO gave him the money to make this season. I can't believe it. Yeah. I don't know what the devil he sold his soul to but it is so cool to watch. To watch. Watch people try something new and do something. It's like everybody's live at times.

It is just straight up awkward. It is just because it's live. And it is, they're trying weird shit. And they are not going to park, MJ. There is an episode of everybody's live with John Mullaney that up top, he comes out in a full blindfold and he does the entire show blindfolded. And it was so funny because he hadn't. tried it until he went live.

And he didn't really, like, he knew it was going to be hard, but he didn't realize how hard it was going to be. And what, like, having the opportunity to watch someone get to play like that. Yeah. Netflix. I just, it excites me in a way that, like, I'm inspired. I think it's great because as much as I said that this week, all I did was watch Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and Polly family.

Like I'm not like and the end of the reality is just getting more and more dystopian and it's like let's just let's just exploit these people for absolutely everything we can. And I know that despite the fact that yes, I'm consuming it, does that make me a hypocrite? Yes, yes, yes. Yell at me. I'm a hypocrite. But I know that that's not the direction that I want, you know, society to go. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I would like our art. I would like art to continue to be being made, you know, creative things. to be continued to be being made. Yes. And so... That's why you watch it both. You watch both of them because then I'm like,

okay, well, I'm given the ratings to secret lies, Mormon wives, because here's the thing, you're right, they shouldn't be making. They really shouldn't be making more. I'm not going to watch every single second of it. Right. So I feel like you combat it with that.

I'm fine with the Mormon wives. I just want the Afflex to be off of it. Honestly, the rest of the women being bitches to each other, again, that seems like a situation where they're making money. They're fully able to make these decisions for themselves. And it's not that Jen can't make decisions for

herself. It's just that she's going through a mental health crisis. And I don't think it should be part of a reality show. But like, you know, and not to mention the domestic, a potentially unsafe domestic situation. So I'm fine. I'm not even saying like reality shouldn't exist, although probably, you know, whatever. Don't you ever say that, MJ? I know. I know. at a Twilight Zone, your non-reality existence into my reality. No, thank you. I could never. You know, I love it.

And should Polly family exist? Probably not. Also potentially had things happening over there. But no, it is really wonderful to hear, like, even though I am not consuming dropout stuff or everybody's live or Nathan Fielder. Yeah, I am going to start Nathan Fielder. But I love hearing, I love seeing how much it brings you to life. And I love seeing how exciting it is to have this really creative comedy stuff being

made despite the fact that the market is often for the slop and the sludge, but I'm really glad that the really good stuff is being made, you know? It's just really weird that you said, Bring Me to Life, because I will say that Evanescence's Bring Me to Life is a very fun portion of the first and second season of the rehearsal. Oh, yeah. And I will throw that out there. It's like you're already connected to it. Man, hearing the beginning tinkles of the...

How can you? I was like, yes! Yes! It, uh, this, I, yeah, it's really, it's exciting. And I, I don't want, I don't want to speak poorly about myself, but nothing really does make me feel more pathetic than like seeing that like I'm getting like tingles because it makes me think of like what I could dream of doing. That's not pathetic at all.

It's inspiring to you and they're doing cool stuff. And we have, we have, when we have, when we, you know, we have lived through these changes in, in comedy, in television, in, you know, like, what, you know, in 2009 when you and I were starting to do comedy in New York City, it was like there was a, YouTube was brand new, you know, web series were new. The goal was to make videos that were five minutes, and then we've seen it shrink down to, TikToks, and we've seen the blossoming of, you know, all, it's all changing all the time. and I tried to like be open-minded about all that change and not be reactionary about it.

And then, you know, so, but but also then it's just really, it's really cool, I feel like to be like, okay, what is what, like, John Mullaney was the comedian I admired most in 2009. It's so cool that in 2025, he's making one of the best comedy shows, right? Like, it's awesome. Like, it's, of course it's thrilling, you know. Man, one thing that I did not bring up so insane. So he had Sean Penn on the show last night, which, which I'm assuming it has to be one of those things of like they like scatter shot out because like every episode has such we, but it was Adam Sandler, Joe Mandy and Sean Penn on this episode. But MJ, it was the teen episode and there was a bunch of teens in the audience. And Sean Penn, which I don't know if you've been reading about, I mean, I need everyone to know there's a reason why we don't ever talk about Sean Penn on this show. And it's because we do not like it. him and I can't believe that he's still famous.

And recently, the only thing that people have been talking about him is how disheveled and upsetting he has been everywhere he's been going. And bro, he shows up on the show smoking a cigarette. They don't make, like he never puts this, he even lights up again when his cigarette goes out in the middle of talking. And he starts talking about when he was a teenager. and how he like, he threw a Molotov cocktail. He threw a Molotov cocktail.

And he's like starting to talk about like he threw his maltov cocktail in his van and how he never got in trouble because like all of his friends' brothers were the cops. And like, but he's small. And he looked bad. And in my head, I'm like, do they have him come on to embarrass him? Right. I'm hoping kind of that they did. It is.

Yeah, that's an interesting choice. Wow, I am very curious as to how they got to Sean Penn in the end. Because also one of the episodes, MJ, they get Sigourney Weaver on. Sigourney Weaver, who, like, is everybody knows insanely shy. She does not really like to do interviews. I don't really know much. And then even just seeing her on the show, it's just like the intrigue of just like, how did you get Scornie Weaver on Shaw?

So cool. Hell yeah. Sorry, I will stop talking about it now. And I will start talking about Pedro Pascal being a boogey bitch because I need to give more love towards Pedro Pascal because I feel openly guilty because I had to put a pause on the last of us. It is very, very good. But it's just, you know, it's just a little too sad for my brain right now. And the last episode I watched, I was so upset that I was like, I can we circle back to this at a different time. Yeah.

Sometimes you got to do that. Yeah. And I just, not that like I was being forced to. It was just more of like, sometimes I forget, you know, you don't have to. Right. And it was one of those of like, you don't have to watch this right now. And that's okay. Definitely not.

Watch your Polly family. I'm sorry. I'm just watching the TikTok of Alexander Scarsgaard and Pedro Pascal kissing. over and over and over and over. Oh, I will watch it over and over and I, you know, Pedro Pascal is going to be, what is it called, the materialist? Is that the name, yeah, the rom-com that's coming up that it's like, oh my God, I'm Dakota Johnson and I don't know if I should kiss this rich hot guy or this poor hot guy. Yes, there was that photo shoot of him with Dakota John. And I think she's hot too. She is very hot. She is, I don't know if I, I don't know if I,

you know, necessarily think that she's the nepo baby I would fully champion first because I think that I believe that there was like an article not that long ago that she was like, um, everybody gets angry at nepo babies. But you know what?

I had to ask my daddy for money a couple of times. And it was one of those where it's like, oh, girl. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, you can again, there's good nepo's and there's bad nepo's.

There's good and bad nepoes. And the bad nepoes are the ones who say that it's not bad to be a nepo. You got to, And you just got to be like, hey, got it easier than other people. I work hard for it. And it doesn't mean you don't work hard. I worked hard for it. But Dakota Johnson is definitely one of those.

I will say, I don't know if she would have the career she has if she wasn't enough. I think that that's fair. I think that my, it's hard to separate Dakota Johnson from her body of work, which is pretty unimpressive, I would say, right? Yeah. Is that a fair thing to say? Yeah. Yeah.

We're talking about 50 shades of gray. Yeah. We're talking about Madam Webb. You know, she's been in other things. But I'm not certain that her, she doesn't have an deeply impressive body award. No. And so I don't know whether she's not a good actress or whether she's just mostly been in bad things. But I do think she's hot.

I think it's the first one. For that, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Do you find it very fascinating, though, because I have now seen the materialist trailer, I think. I don't know, six or seven times. Yeah. And every time I'm like, I'm like, I'll see the movie. But honestly, I think it's very interesting.

You know, I know we talk about here, even just like in the world of casting, that in this movie, it's like, do you want to fuck this rich hot guy or this young hot guy? But really, I think there's only like six years difference between Pedro Pascal and Chris Evans. And I find that very interesting of like,

so it's not even an old to rich. It's just which kind of hot do I want to fuck. Totally. I'm looking at the promotional materials for the materialist and it's just like, oh, two attractive men of the same generation. One's wearing a tux and one's wearing a tie. Yeah, because one's working the party and one was invited to the party, MJ. I see. So very different.

And yeah, it does. There are a million movies about do I pick this hot guy or do I pick this hot guy, but I I always, always will think of 2015's Brooklyn with Sarsher Ronan. And I watched that movie because she was up for, like this movie was up for multiple Oscars. And it literally was do I fuck the hot loser, not loser, just poor. And that's why I call him a loser. But Dom Haugleason and with the fuck, it's like, oh, back home. or do I fuck the like other poor that's also hot but he's in America?

That's the one about the Irish girl, right? Correct. Yeah. I read the book. I forgot it was a which hot boy shall I choose because I read the book. I read the book of which hot guy should I choose? I didn't know it was. I don't, I don't remember anything about the book. I don't remember even really liking the book, but I know I read the book. Yeah. So yeah. And Brooklyn was a good one of those, but like I remember getting this greet or just being like, is there really nothing else in this movie? I'm kind of shocked. I mean, obviously, not that, well, I shouldn't say obviously not that much if I don't remember it. I don't remember a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, again, I've watched, I thought I watched all three

Star Wars movies and apparently I didn't. And I want to blame the weed. I want to blame the weed. But yeah, Pedro Bascall is a boogey bitch. He called himself that. And it's just the internet, you know, I think that it didn't get the summer of Pedro that it was hoping for, because. of The Last of Us. But also you're going to get the materialists in June. So I suspect we've got a forecast of a Pedro summer. Oh, we're definitely trying to have a hot Pedro summer, definitely. I also, you know, I got to say this week reading this Barry Keogan article about him talking

about his mom and stuff. This is not why my opinion on his hotness has changed. But I read this story. He was talking about his mom struggling with addiction and how he also struggles with addiction. and most of our discussions about Barry Kiyogan lately have been about how we didn't want him to break Sabrina's heart and he did break Sabrina's heart. But now I'm just taking Barry for Barry and I'm looking at him and you know, I think I might think he's cute. Wow. Welcome to the dark side, MJ.

I knew we were going to get you eventually on the old Kiyogen. Personality will do a lot of heavy lifting for me, especially with the weird looking people. and he is weird looking, and I don't even the slightest glimmer of getting to know his personality by reading this article about him talking about his life, I was like, oh, you, I love you. But I don't know if I love him. But I did. I see him more now than just a dirty dog, you know? Yeah. And honestly, I was very surprised because, of course, like, in my brain, I wouldn't expect him to be so open. And I know that it's taken him a while to be this open about, you know, the, you know, the, you know, the, you know, the, you know, you know, the. his losing his mother from addiction and losing his mother at the age of 12 from addiction and how he was drawn to it and just talking about. And I even feel like he was talking about in a way that he wasn't, it would have been one thing if he had said this right after all the Sabrina stuff. But I feel like it was like a, I'm not just saying this as an excuse. I'm not just saying this

because I have to say it. That does this not seem like a rehab job of his image to me. It seems like it actually, to me, just read like some like vulnerable bit of his life story and experience. Yeah. At this point, yeah, Sabrina was able to paint him as the dirty dog for, you know, I think rightfully so for months now. So yeah, I told, that's such a great point. This did not seem like a, no, I can't be a badman. Right.

It just seemed like him being like, yeah, like I, this is something I really struggle with. And you'd think maybe I wouldn't have struggled with it because of losing my mom this way. but I understand her all the more and I still struggle. And I just, yeah, I just found it very moving to hear a little bit more from Barry.

Yeah. And I didn't expect, I think that I put my slip and slide on a hold. Like I think I like, you know, let I turn off the spigot for a second. And I, as soon as you heard,

please, please, please. You're like, all right, I'm turning it off. Yeah. And I think that it was like, oh,

you do need to go like figure out your shit. And it is, it's more of in that game. But just even, the fact that maybe this does mean he's working on himself, and I hope that it does. So I just wish him the best. I wish him the best, MJ.

I wish nothing but the best. Oh, my God. Oh, MJ, I don't need the Adele in my life right now. But what I do need is a dinosaur fetus. Yeah, I am bringing up the Jurassic World Rebirth popcorn bucket. I did not know this movie was happening, to be honest. A dinosaur fetus. I, you know, I, I,

obviously I love a Jurassic Park. For sure. I think even though Chris Pratt, man, he fucking pratt all over it. I feel like. That's the thing. I wasn't interested in the new ones because of him. But I like the franchise. Of course. I support it. I just think that I wanted to bring up this article because these popcorn buckets are getting out of hand. It's a popcorn bucket with a fetus in it. What was the other popcorn bucket we talked about?

The Dune Popcorn? I mean, there's a million. There's so many popcorn. buckets. Yeah. No, you're right. I just feel, I want like a retrospective of all the novelty popcorn buckets because I remember on page seven talking about a novelty popcorn bucket, but maybe it was doing. MJ, can you please look up the accountant to popcorn bucket? Because if you were wondering, if the accountant too had its own popcorn bucket, you would be correct. And is it just a airstream? Yeah. So do you? need in your life an airstream poppy. See, if it was an airstream popper. I guess, okay, well, you live airstream life and you want an airstream bucket inside of your airstream because then you got

airstream doubled for you and you need to live that life. Good for you. I just don't know if I need to remember where I was when I experienced the accountant to for the first time. Don't say that about our friend Ben Affleck. I know. He can, hear you. I know, and he's just so sad. Yeah. He needs this. He needs this novelty buckets. It's, they're selling it for $45.

Oh. It's just the popcorn buckets are getting out of hand. Every time we go to the movies, which is a lot. I feel like there's a new popcorn bucket. And I'm sure there was a popcorn bucket for Mission Impossible, but I

refused to go to the movie theater over the weekend because it was just the live action Lilo and Stitch, and I haven't seen the first one, so I didn't want to go see the live action. And I am vehemently against Mission Impossible is what I decided over the weekend. So you got no movies in the theater that you want to see right now? Well, don't worry. I got tickets on Monday to see. Bring her back. And I... Oh, okay. Man, I have only been hearing... So these are, this is from the people that did talk to me, and that apparently, I am hearing tale that...

bring her back is like hereditary levels of it's good. Upsetting. Yeah. I mean, if you look up, bring her back and just look at the poster for you specifically, MJ, yeah, I feel like this is not a movie for you. I don't think that you would enjoy this movie. I still haven't seen hereditary because you told me not to. But I do feel like I'm missing out because people bring up hereditary like every time someone's having a conversation about horror movies. People are, it's hereditary is like a benchmark that I don't know, you know.

so maybe I... Honestly, MJ, you know what? This is a fun. This is a fun. I think I said that back when I thought that you didn't like scary movies. I think that was when... And then I found out it was Gideon

that doesn't like scary movies. Here's the thing. MJ, I kind of want you to watch Hereditary from a parent's perspective. Oh, God, okay. It is, especially you know nothing about Hereditary, right? Zero.

All I know is that it's not only you. A lot of listeners have also told me not to watch it. But MJ, but MJ, but MJ, but MJ, They're wrong. But MJ, but what if? Just like if you could, just watch a little bit of it. It is going to be something.

If it's upsetting about children, I can't watch it with Gideon. Because Gideon does wake up in the middle of the night after. You cannot. You cannot. He couldn't sleep for days after the exorcist. Tony Collette is unbelievable. I mean, everyone is unbelievable in Hereditary, but I thought I wanted to sleep with Tony Colette before. And I wouldn't say hereditary wants you to, it makes you want to sleep with her more.

But then it kind of does. and then you have to deal with that in therapy and like, oh, what does that mean about me? Okay. And it's really good. I'd love to talk to you about it. All right. All right.

I think you can handle it. And if you can't, I'd also love to hear about it. I love hereditary. It's such a good movie. I'll watch it. There is no quicker way for me to be like, oh, I guess I just don't trust your opinions. It's not that I judge you eternally, but I do for someone to be like, Hereditary is not that good.

If you feel that way, your feelings are valid and you are completely allowed to feel that way. But Jackie thinks you're dumb. I will never ask you for a review ever again. Like, I will never ask you how you feel about a movie. And it might not be that you're dumb, but you know, I have the same thing. You have different tastes. You have different tastes. And that's completely understandable.

Were you, like, also, like, there are many reasons to dislike hereditary. I'm just saying I wouldn't go to you for scary movie advice. Uh-huh. Yeah. No, I think that's fair. And I do trust you and you're a scary movie analysis. Thank you. And I appreciate it because honestly, I did get into a weird,

I don't want to say fight, but one of Jeff's family members told me that the witch wasn't a good movie and that it was bad about women. And I also, The Witch, is one of my favorite movies. And I just was like, you're just simply wrong. And I'm sorry that you are so wrong. But like, that's okay. some people are just not going to be right.

The witch is good. The witch is really good. But I'm saying you can say that you don't like it, but you can't say it's not a good movie. Right. And that it's bad towards, I guess, you know what, MJ, anyone can say whatever the fuck they want to say. It's not for me to put on them. But you're allowed to have your own judgments. There's a specific image that involves breastfeeding and the witch that upset me so much when I watched it that I can't ever watch it again.

But I'll admit it's a good movie. Give me a little bit more space between me and breastfeeding. I think that's fine. I bet, dude. I'll fucking bet, bro. I think that's also definitely why when Hereditary came out, you were a new parent. New parent. You need to be a little bit more seasoned, I think, in the world of parenting. I was just going to have us talk about Jojo and her new boyfriend, but then I, or her

new not boyfriend, maybe boyfriend, who knows. Boyfriend, not boyfriend. But then I saw this news story from today about Sidney Sweetie selling bathwater bliss, which is soap that is allegedly using her own used bathwater. Whoa. And the headline is Citi Sparks fierce backlash over, quote, creepy and gross brand collaboration. City Sweetie recently released Bathwater Bliss soap with Dr. Squatwick. the limited edition soap has droplets of the actresses used bathwater.

And I guess I have no problem with this. Wow. It's a, it's bar soap. It's fine. It's so. It's fine. If she wants to make money on how creepy people are to her, I think that that's her prerogative.

That's how you do it. Because here's the thing. You can't stop them, unfortunately. So I fucking own it. Make money off of them at least. You're going to be disgusting. Give me your fucking money then. People are such a unique.

type of horrifyingly gross to Sidney Sweeney that her making money off of that cannot possibly horrify me unless there's something about like Dr. Squatch that I don't know if he's, Oh, it's with Dr. Squatch. I love Dr. Squatch. Oh, yeah. He's not a mad doctor. I mean, I don't, I haven't, you know, looked into like the morality of Dr. Squatch, but I, uh, I do have a, a husband that I purchase Dr. Squatch for and who really enjoys it because he's a bar soap lover. There's an ad that she... See, that's fine. There's an ad that she does for the soap

where she says, hello, you dirty little boys. Are you interested in my body? Wash. Do it, girl. Get that cheddar. I'm fine with this. I got no problem.

I'd like to see you, MJ, remake it. I think that even the way you just said it. No, I think, no, I'm saying, give me that bathwater. I'm like, yeah. No one wants my bathwater. You should start selling your bathwater. I think you should.

But do it. You know, it's like, I think that it's good. I think that it's like, it's just going to go down the drain anyway. And you know they're not using your actual bathwater. It's like a gray water irrigation system, but for Sydney, Sweetie's bathwater. Use it. Exactly. It's like the dukey water they put on the lawn.

Yes, use it. Put it in your bathtub. You are, I thank you for bringing this to our attention because, yeah, I think that it makes so much sense. And I'm, this is a good fall. It's a good for as far as I'm concerned. This is, I mean, make that paper, bitch. Make that paper.

And unless I've missed something, I don't think there's other additional new reasons to hate Sydney Sweeney. I know that years ago there was a picture of her with her family with Magath stuff. But since then, I don't think she's given us new, fresh, clear reasons to think she sucks. And if I'm wrong, then you can have my bathwater. Whoa. Well, they are currently doing season three of Euphoria. So maybe she's all wrapped up with that. But I did see they have been talking about.

about her recently just because they're like, apparently she broke off her engagement. Yeah. And everybody's been like, oh, what's going on with that? Yeah. I don't know what that. But I think that what's happening with that? She rocket shipped to stardom and maybe she is a different person than she was when she first started dating.

Yeah, she's 27. You're probably going to make lots of big mistakes and life decisions and changes when you are going through this much career success at that young of an age. And yes, she's not a child. but to me, 27 is quite young. Yes, yes, very, you know, I do want to bring, before we get out here, I want to bring up this article just because, you know, usually I agree with Amy Poehler.

But in this instance, I don't know if I do, because I do understand because Amy Poehler does get the ick from Tom Cruise. And I think that both of us do, and that I do agree with her on. But she has the ick from Tom Cruise, and I think this is such a funny reason why. because he did a bunch of flips in the movie The Outsiders, and Amy Poehler is not attracted to flexible men. Yeah, I love it that was the outsiders that turned her off. I love that it's the outsiders that of all the movies Tom Cruise has made.

Of all the things Tom Cruise has done since, I like that Amy Poehler has had the ick since the get. Yeah. Slavage, yes. Wait, why did you think about Holden? Oh, because I thought about Holden because how much he talks about the flipping that Benson Boone does. And all I could think of was like, but that's the only reason why Holden likes Benson Boone

is because of the flipping. And I feel like usually that is a positive in the, like in the positive column for a person if they are able to flip. So I think it's more surprising that. But I mean, Amy Bowler was talking to Renee Rapp and Renee Rapp. Rapp could do absolutely anything to me. You love her. All the AMA headlines were very mean about her.

They said that her under her performance, the AMA, This was underwhelming. She's very mean. And she's also very mean. This is, I have, oh, it's a problematic crush that I have on her. Part of the reason why is because I know she would treat me very poorly. And she is very openly talked about how like, why would I fuck a millennial woman? What am I fucking old? Like, no.

Like, they're all old. I'm young. I'm hot. And she is. And her music is, it is pop music. And I will say, I like to listen to it. and she's just, I like her spice. Yeah, yeah, she's so young, 25.

Yeah, whatever mean. So young. So young. Yeah, but that's the thing. Weren't we all mean? Or are we all mean back then? I feel like it's like, yeah, that's a part of it. Sometimes you've got to go through a mean phase.

Yeah, yours was in middle school, Renee Raps is now. Yeah, and maybe it's her entire life. I don't know. We're yet to see. She's only 25. We can't put a judgment on the rest of her life just because of that. Well, and shout out. Yeah, Michelle Williams.

What about, shout out to Michelle Williams. I want to talk about Blue Valentine, MJ. Oh, okay. I want to talk about the movie that nobody gives a fuck about anymore. But I still think about it all the time. And that is the movie Blue Valentine. More than anyone I know. And that, and you know what? So does Michelle Williams apparently, MJ, because Michelle Williams was

recently talking about how horrible it was to live with Ryan Gosling during shooting Blue Valentine, because I don't think I remembered this. But in the movie, it goes back and forth between the past and the current reality, and it is about love dying. And so the way they shot this movie is they shot all the lovi-dovey, and then they live together for weeks to have their relationship fall apart. That is fun.

And it did. That's fun. That's method. Dude, it is method in a way. This, I mean, it's not for the faint. If you have, if your heart has hurt and you're not in a place to handle it, don't watch the movie. This is why I still haven't yet seen scenes from a marriage. I really want to, but I was like, I don't think I'm emotionally strong enough for that.

It really is, Blue Valentine, I watch it when I'm very sad. Well, it's the opposite of Kelly Rip Ed, Mark, and Swelos. That's what I was going to shout out, because they can't stop talking about how much they love to fuck. There's another headline. Every time they're in the news, it's about how much they love to fuck. how much they love to fuck. This time, it's because they went on, or were they, are they still the hosts?

Are they, I thought they have retired so they could fuck more. They are still the hosts. Oh, yeah. Okay, well, they were on their own show. I thought they were guesting on somebody else's show, but they're still the hosts on their own show. And they said they're so happy that they're empty nesters now and that their kids moved out so that they can bone all the time.

And I do love this for them. Yeah, they refer to it as a total freak show is what they refer to it. They're naked all the time. I do love this for them And I do love a slightly older couple You know, kind of normalizing like being horny And fucking all the time I do again, I worry about their children

They're old They're all old now, it's fine They're so old, they're out of the house No, I just, no, worry is too strong It's fine. Talk about how much you love to fuck In public, that's fine Yeah, you're right I have no problem with it. Their kids are 27, 23, and 22

I guess I have no problem with it. I hope that everybody fucks when they become empty nesters. Yes, but my only problem with it is while I am so excited for them and obviously I hope to be these people as well, I do, I guess,

it's like, is it normalizing it when you look like that? That's the thing. Because I feel like when you look like that, that's not the norm. Like they're both just so chipped out of stone and so rock hard. Yes.

That like, imagining, you know, Jeff and I in 20 years, having a total freak show, fuck show in the house, being naked all the time would just look very different. The sounds would be very different than what happens with them. Yeah, there would be a lot more grunting and like not in a second. Wait, wait. Yeah. I need a second. Wait. Yeah. No, that's, I think that's what it is.

Honestly, I think I think I see these headlines and I'm like, good for you. You rock hard, young looking people. successfully raised older children and still look fucking fantastic. I think maybe there's just a little bit of envy on my part that I hope that I can be chiseled out of stone when I'm an empty nester. And I don't think I will be. Yeah, because here's the thing. I love a safe, like a safe soft landing. And that's what I want when I'm fucking, you know, laying on a partner.

Yeah. I want you to feel like pillows. Yeah, yeah. I don't want you to feel like I'm laying on a mountain top, all right? I'm not, you know, defending it with a piece of wood with nails sticking out when I'm fucking seven years old. You know, I just, I'm happy for them. Yeah, no, I'm happy for them. And I don't think that we are, because I know that Holden always used to say that he thinks that they talk about it too much that it's actually not real.

That they protest too much. I don't know if they would. I feel like if it was, like I would feel that way maybe more back in the day when she used to do it when he wasn't the host alongside her. Oh, see, I would say the opposite. I think now they have to be, because they're hosting together, so they have to be like, oh, we're so in love, we fuck so much. I do think it's a little, it's a little much. It's a little, I understand why Holden thinks it's they doth protest too much because like literally every headline about them is how much they love to fuck. Unfortunately, I think you just look at them and I think it to tell it's true.

You know, I think that it seems real. Yeah, it does. Oh, it does. now, and I don't want to task you to also try, because this is too much, because I'm already asking you to watch Hereditary, and that I feel is more important, but I do really want to watch the

PewE docue docu series. I want to watch it too. You haven't watched it yet? I have not watched it yet. I want to try and watch it by next week. I want to give everybody some time. Let's all absorb it. I just saw Natalie posting about it because Natalie was posting about, she was, I mean, if you listen to the pop history on

Paul Rubens, she was huge, huge pee wee fan. And apparently it's very good. So I am looking forward. I mean, looking forward to, but I'm going to watch it. Yeah. Yeah. I hear it's sad. I'm going to watch it. Great. I've heard it's fantastic. Man. I was never a big pee-wee fan for some. I think I don't know. Did you watch it when you were a kid? I remember. I had like memories of pee-wee as a kid, but I wasn't, I was going to say I feel like I was a little too young for it. I was also a little too young for it. My older sister definitely was way more into pee-wee, but you know what it was straight up? I was scared of the chair. Yeah. I was scared of the chair. because I was scared of the toilet and look who's talking to. I was scared of the toilet

and then the chair reminded me of the toilet and I don't know why. You know when those specific lightning strikes in your brain of like, why do I specifically remember that? I don't know. Yeah. No, that's, you know what?

I just realized, Look Who's Talking is another 90s movie I haven't put on our list of to watch with the kids. I had this cassette tape of the soundtrack and I really like the soundtrack. It does start with that song.

I watch it again and let me know if it holds up because I also really like the third one with the talking dogs. Remember that with the poodle? And scrappy mutt that I think was voiced by Michael J. Fox. Is Rick Moranis also in Look Who's Talking or am I just lumping in all 80s 90s films?

With Honey I Shrump the kids. Oh, it's John Travolta, of course. Yes, John Travolta. All right. Oh, yeah. And Kirstie Allie and that whole, man, I would love to do a pop history into all of that. Oh, yeah, because like there was a whole thing

between the two of them that I would I think there's a lot of mystery there that we'll never find out about. We'll never know. Always curious. Always curious about that. Always, you know what? Sad. Can I just put out my condolences to Hugh Jackman's ex-wife because their divorce is finalized?

And I just feel like Deborah Leefordis is just, you know, they're trying to split their $250 million fortune, which is difficult for her. Okay, MJ. She's upset. It's difficult. Betrayal. She is upset. She's upset. She's going for it.

Traumatic journey of betrayal is the quote. I, uh, take him down. You know, I, this is not, and you know, I like you, Jack Moon, but I kind of, yeah, and saying, no, let's watch it happen. You know, we love Sauton Foster, but let's watch it happen. Oh, damn it, you, E News, there's a six, there's an article that just came out 16 minutes ago that he responded to the betrayal comment, but it's a video. So I can't see what he said. But, well, you know. Did he say, yes, I did it.

I've been cheating on her. I'm music manned my way into another pussy. Thanks so much. That's what he probably said. Yeah, despite everyone believing that I don't like women, I'm cheated on her with another woman. Don't you worry. You give me somebody. If they've got something between their legs, he's fit to fuck.

Put a, you know, put a tap dancing outfit on and up. He don't give a shit. I, oh, God, we're not even get into the Justin Bieber stuff. We're going to find out more as this unfolds. And we're going to send our love down the well to Debrley Furness. I hope

that, you know, I hope the betrayal. I hope he get past it because bitch. I'm sorry he betrayed you. Yes. Go, go after it. You betrayed me. Don't, da. I know that you'll never be sorry. My love is you not.

I need Olivia Rodrigo. What summer? Is it a Pedro summer? What are we, what is it? We had Brat last year. What are we going to have? I think it's definitely a Pedro summer. I don't know.

Music-wise, I got no idea. That's a question for Holden McNeely. I don't know. I don't know. You got your finger on the pop music pulse as much as him. I don't know who's, I don't know who's the soundtrack of the summer yet. I mean, Gog's is obviously killing it. But I, you know, I guess it really is.

We're going to just have to wait and see because technically, even though it, man, it was light until I think 9 p.m. last night. I get shocked every year that I live here. And I'm like, how is it this late? And it's not even summer yet. So, you know, we have to soak it in while we can, guys. While we have an atmosphere to soak up, let's just get that sun in before it burns a salt to a crisp. I've been thinking about the Twilight Zone a lot. I think I need to do a rewatch of the Twilight Zone. Okay. It's a long journey. And, you know, what? No one liked my pommel horse, more like plastered horse, jokes that I was making about Mary Lou Retton on her DUI charge. It's barely a joke. No one remembers, well, I shouldn't say no one remembers Barry Lou Retton. My sample size of me and Adam and I think Jake, when you brought up Barry Lou Retton, was a bunch of, oh yeah. There wasn't like a big, I don't think of, even of the 90s gymnasts, we would say that she

was the most recognizable by any means. No, no. Carrie's strub looking at you. So she did drive drunk, though. We don't support that here at page seven. And we do not support that. But you know what? We do support each other.

And MJ, thank you so much for this beautiful episode. I hope that you're full up. I hope everybody else. I know you were hungry at the top, but I hope that now your belly is distended and you might feel a little bit sick. Absolutely. I'm so glad to talk about all of this important news with you, Jackie.

I'm glad you're enjoying your strong. Star Wars journey. I'm looking forward to seeing how many Star Wars movies you've watched by next week, and I will try to get hereditary yet. I don't, I, no, no guarantees that I could have the time to watch it without getting up on and getting terrified, but I will try, I will, it is on my to do list, as is the pee-wee duck. You know, in my brain, if you can just get the first like 20 or 25 minutes in, even that, I'll take it. Of hereditary? Yep. Really? Just if you can get that much in, And then at least like we can talk about like a little bit more like then you'll get an idea. Okay.

Of of it. You know what? All right. So just throwing that out there. And you know what? Don't worry guys. Dick Van Dyke is still alive. But man, he wishes he was dead.

But I guess anyone would feel that way if they were 99 years old. Let him go. Let him go. Let him go. He just wants to go. Oh, my God. What a life. What a lovely, wonderful life that has now been long enough.

Hop's walking is just, man, he is weekend and burying all over the place. He is like, please let me die. The quote is literally, it's the curse of living this long. And I love Dick Van Dyke. I thirst for a young Dick Van Dyke. So I, but it's time to go. Yeah, we all watch the Green Mile. You know, it would be beautiful in certain ways to live forever, but you know you don't really want to.

All of his friends are dead. Let him go. Let him go. You know, he doesn't need to see the popcorn bucket with the dinosaur fetus in it. All right. Just let him go. He doesn't. Yeah.

But maybe he does see the $45 airstream popcorn bucket. And thank you all for joining us on this week's episode. Oh, Sagan happens. And I hope you have a beautiful week. Get yourself a hot dog. You know, it was Memorial Day, which I can't believe it was already Memorial Day. So welcome to hot dog season, y'all. Official start of summer.

You heard it here first from the hot dog ambassador of the southwest region of the United States. We kicking it off. All right. Get your camouflage off. Put your bright orange on. All right. We hunt for dogs. But don't hunt for real dogs unless you're going to cast them and look who's talking for. And my name is Jackie Zabrowski and you can follow me in Instagram at Jack That Worm. And you can also come hang out with MJ and I. We are definitely still reading Jeanette McCurdy's. I'm glad my mom died and we are feeling a lot of feelings about it. it and I am enjoying my amazing experience with Sookie Stackhouse and definitely come and hang out with us over in Bantau, Louisiana, and my Cajun accent is only getting better and better.

I've been working on it with Jeff, and he's just like, where is my wife? And I said, down on the bayou. And he said, maybe you should go back there. And also, I feel like I haven't pushed on here in a minute. Go to who's the bitch.com. Do you have a bitch in your life? Do you have a bit? What's your bituation?

All right. Hit us up. Who's the bitch.com. You can hit us up in a voicemail. You can email us. You can probably shout it from where you're standing. We might hear it if it's into a megaphone, but just go to who's the bitch.com and let us know what's going on in your life. But MJ, where can we find you?

You can find me over on Instagram, MJKLKAT. And as always, you can email us at page 7 podcast at gmail.com. We love hearing from you. We appreciate your feedback. We love you for listening. Thank you guys so much. Let's sing it out. That'll be better.

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